If I were a clickbait headline writer, this episode's title would be: Hypocrisy Made Him This. Click To Be Shocked! The truth is that the name The Children's Ministry might not mean what you think it means. And in this episode, I finally reveal a deep, dark secret that perhaps two people outside of the Dallas Branch kids know. Or really, those two people might not even remember me telling them. So you get to find it out. Also, this episode covers one of the most bizarre disconnects that I experienced growing up. But through that disconnect, I found I had a talent for performing, so that's okay. And I tie balloons very well. And I teach you how to use a helium tank. Just listen already. And support this podcast and review it and share with your crew. Posse? Tribe? What do the kids say these days?