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0:33

This is optimal Living daily episode twenty

0:35

six seventy seven 2677 have freedom

0:37

in your life. Stop avoiding

0:39

this one thing. By Benjamin Hardy

0:42

of Benjamin Hardy dot com, and

0:44

I'm Justin Mullich. Thank you for being

0:46

here on my birthday and listening

0:48

to the show. It really means a lot. You

0:50

listening means I get to do this as a

0:52

job and on my birthday which I wouldn't

0:55

have any other way. So again, thank

0:57

you. And if you like to gift

0:59

this show anything, really the one

1:01

thing that helps the most is

1:03

simply sharing the show. In person,

1:05

on social media, wherever it doesn't

1:07

matter, but it really does make a

1:09

difference. And I don't want to keep

1:11

us from today's article. So with that, let's get right

1:13

to it. And start optimizing your life.

1:20

2677 have freedom in your life Stop

1:22

avoiding this one thing by

1:24

Benjamin Hardy of Benjamin Hardy

1:27

dot com. Your

1:29

brain wants your life to be

1:31

predictable. Your emotions 1

1:33

your life to be stable, but

1:36

stability and predictability are

1:38

interestingly how you stay

1:40

stuck and in survival mode.

1:42

You can only have freedom in your life when

1:44

you leave stability and predictability behind

1:47

you. You cannot be free

1:50

unless you step into the unknown.

1:53

If you're not willing to step into the unknown,

1:55

then you're a hostage to what you know.

1:57

Your slave to your current circumstances, your

2:00

slave to your emotions, your slave

2:02

to your story, your slave

2:04

to fixed mindset you have about

2:06

what you think you are. The

2:09

fear of loss warps your reality

2:11

by five to seven times. In

2:14

the book thinking fast and slow,

2:16

Danny Koneman uses prospect

2:18

theory to explain that as human beings

2:21

we fear loss far more

2:23

than we value gain. In

2:25

the book and in his studies, Kahneman said

2:27

that our perspective reality is

2:29

actually exaggerated, at least double

2:32

when we're afraid of losing something. That's

2:34

only what he reported in his study because

2:37

he knew his work would be under a great deal of

2:39

scrutiny. In more private

2:41

settings, he has said his data actually

2:43

shows that people inflate or exaggerate

2:45

reality by five to seven times

2:48

when they fear avoiding loss. There's

2:51

a girl I know who really loves her job.

2:53

Well, she doesn't necessarily love her job,

2:55

but she loves a lot of what the job allows

2:57

her to learn, experience, and

2:59

do. There's also a lot about

3:01

her job that limits, frustrates, and

3:04

constrains her. In many

3:06

ways, it's clear this job, although

3:08

amazing, isn't the right fit for

3:10

her, but she doesn't want to lose all

3:12

of the interesting and exciting perks that

3:14

come with her job. Her fear

3:16

of loss keeps her in a

3:18

place of certainty. She doesn't want to

3:20

venture off into a place of uncertainty. Even

3:23

though deep down, it feels like the right thing to

3:25

do. But that's actually the only

3:27

place she can be free. Without

3:30

uncertainty, you can't actually

3:32

be free. If you must live in a

3:35

world where everything is certain and

3:37

predictable, then you're stuck in a

3:39

bubble. You're stuck in your story

3:41

and in the emotions of your past.

3:43

You're not willing to face a future filled with

3:45

unknowns. And if you're unwilling

3:48

to face a future of unknowns, then

3:50

you can't be free. Uncertainty

3:53

is the foundation of all fear. Your

3:56

brain wants to predict the outcomes of your

3:58

behavior. Your body wants to experience

4:00

emotions that feel safe, As

4:02

a result, you avoid the things

4:04

you fear. You avoid the things you cannot

4:07

predict. Interestingly, people

4:09

stay in even terrible addictions because

4:12

At least, while in the addiction, their life

4:14

is predictable. Even when they know

4:16

their life is being destroyed, the

4:18

fear of the unknown keeps them from

4:20

changing their lives. All

4:23

fear exists in the future.

4:26

The things you fear do not actually exist in

4:28

the here and now, but rather as

4:30

a projection or prediction that

4:32

may or may not be accurate. In

4:35

fact, because fear is often based on

4:37

perceived loss, you can absolutely expect

4:40

that your fear based projections are inaccurate,

4:43

often by five to seven times. Feeling

4:46

protected versus being comfortable.

4:49

In an interview, Kobe Bryant told the story

4:51

of his first year playing basketball at

4:54

age eleven. He scored zero

4:56

points. He was terrible. After

4:58

that season, his dad looked him in the eyes and

5:00

said, I don't care if he scored sixty points

5:03

or zero points. I'll love you no

5:05

matter what. That's exactly

5:07

what Kobe needed to hear. He knew

5:09

that regardless of his behavior, he

5:11

was safe. His father would

5:13

love him. This protection gave

5:16

Kobe permission to fail, they gave

5:18

him permission to take risks, The

5:20

buffer of his father's love allowed Kobe

5:23

to step outside of his comfort zone 2677

5:25

the only place high performance can

5:27

exist. If you don't feel protected

5:29

in your relationships, it can be hard to

5:32

push your own boundaries. It can be hard

5:34

to be free because you're actually a slave

5:36

to the relationship. This is living in

5:38

an unhealthy, dependent state

5:40

where everything you do is based on trying to

5:43

please other people. But when

5:45

you feel loved and protected regardless of

5:47

outcomes, Deed can rise to independence

5:50

and attempt things that will likely

5:52

fail often. The

5:54

next season, Kobi began failing Infinale.

5:57

And as a result, he began learning

5:59

intensely. He left his comfort

6:01

zone behind and began playing in the realms

6:04

of creativity and imagination where

6:06

no limits were placed upon him. All

6:08

he had to do was step beyond the boundaries

6:11

of who he had been in the past, and

6:13

step into the new role and identity emblazoned

6:16

in his own imagination and fortified

6:19

by his father's love. Embrace

6:21

the unknown over and over because

6:23

he was willing to be free, free

6:25

to see what was possible, to fail,

6:28

to explore, to 85,

6:31

to become legendary. Thus,

6:33

Kobe's story highlights that we actually

6:36

do need some form of stability in our

6:38

lives. In his case, his father's

6:40

love 2677 embrace the instability

6:42

and unpredictability of massive

6:45

growth and purpose. Much

6:47

of our own personal experience will feel very

6:49

insecure and hazy as we

6:51

embrace new obstacles and challenges. We

6:54

will have a protection and trust we can hold

6:56

on to that gives us power and

6:58

strength to face the uncertainty. For

7:01

many, This protection comes from

7:03

their higher power.Conclusion. You

7:07

cannot be free without uncertainty.

7:10

We can't be free within your comfort zone.

7:12

We can't be free in your story.

7:15

The price of freedom is uncertainty.

7:18

If you can handle the emotional angst of not

7:20

knowing what will happen, then you can

7:23

absolutely be free. You

7:25

can experience a level of freedom, creativity,

7:28

success and personal evolution

7:30

that is extremely rare, not because

7:32

it isn't possible, but because the price

7:34

of uncertainty is more than most are

7:37

willing to pay. Most people

7:39

rarely, if ever, genuinely create

7:41

something. As educator and reformers,

7:43

Sir Ken Robinson has said, quote, If

7:46

you're not prepared to be wrong, you'll never

7:48

come up with anything original meant to

7:50

quote. If you're going to surpass the

7:52

limiting confines of your current identity

7:54

and pass, and enter a realm where

7:56

practically anything is possible, you'll

7:59

need to embrace uncertainty. You'll

8:02

need to stop obsessing about how things

8:04

will turn out. You need to be okay

8:06

when things fall apart. You need to

8:08

get up immediately when you fail or

8:10

succeed and approach the next goal.

8:13

Are you free? Or are you a

8:15

slave to certainty? Are you a slave

8:18

to needing to know how things will turn out?

8:20

If you're not free, then you're not living.

8:22

If you're not free, then you're not evolving.

8:25

If you're not free, then you're not learning

8:27

and becoming. Rather, you're

8:29

stuck in your past where it's safe and

8:32

known. Stuck in your experiences and

8:34

nostalgia, missing a world of limitless

8:36

creativity and possibility and

8:39

joy. The only thing you have to lose

8:41

by stepping outside of certainty and

8:43

outside of your story is your emotional

8:45

attachment to your past. If

8:48

you let go of this attachment, then you have

8:50

everything to learn and everything

8:52

to gain. Will you be

8:55

free? You

8:59

just listened to the post titled. To have

9:02

freedom in your life, stop avoiding this

9:04

one thing. By Benjamin Hardy

9:06

of Benjamin Hardy dot com. Take

9:09

it to Benjamin. Really interesting

9:11

research there talking about how we fear

9:13

loss more than we value gain.

9:16

And I think it makes sense. That's probably why

9:18

most of us aren't jumping out of planes.

9:21

We don't necessarily need to jump out of planes.

9:23

Like Benjamin illustrated, this is probably

9:26

affecting our day to day lives pretty

9:28

much all the time. If

9:30

you're currently working or in school,

9:33

is that what's best for you right now?

9:35

Is that activity going to bring you closer

9:37

to your potential? Or is it coming from

9:39

a place of fear because not

9:41

doing that specific activity creates

9:43

unknowns. Even as an entrepreneur

9:46

myself and dealing with unknowns and

9:48

uncertainty all the time. This

9:50

kind of thinking affects me 2677, so it's

9:52

nice to see the reminder. 1 like

9:55

how he brought it back to relationships as well.

9:57

Might sound like avoiding unknown

10:00

is seeking protection, but it's really

10:02

not that's seeking comfort. Protection

10:05

and comfort are really different things. As

10:07

he shared with protection, we can fail and

10:09

still be loved, but with comfort,

10:12

while then we're avoiding any kind of failure,

10:14

And without that failure, there will be no progress.

10:17

So nice reminder from Benjamin, at least

10:19

for me, it was a good birthday reminder.

10:22

Thank you for being here on my birthday. Really

10:24

appreciate you spending your time listening

10:26

and learning along with me. Again,

10:28

if you're able to share this podcast anywhere

10:31

with anyone that would be a wonderful gift

10:33

means a

10:34

lot. Have a great rest of your day

10:36

and I'll see you tomorrow where you are optimal

10:38

life. I'll wait.