0:12

Hello there, welcome to the Taskmaster

0:14

podcast, it's me, Ed Gamble. We are

0:16

going to be discussing Taskmaster Series 15, Episode 4

0:18

this week. It's

0:21

just been out, if you're listening to this, straight

0:24

after the main show. If you've not seen

0:26

Taskmaster Series 15, Episode 4, do not listen

0:28

to this yet, there will be spoilers, but

0:31

lovely spoilers and great discussions and

0:33

we'll be chatting to a contestant

0:35

from Series 15, it's Frankie

0:37

Boyle. Very excited to chat to Frankie, hear

0:40

about his time on Taskmaster, hear

0:43

about his highlights, his lowlights, all

0:45

of this sort of thing. Love to chat to

0:47

Frankie Boyle, very excited to do that now,

0:50

specifically about Taskmaster Series 15, Episode 4.

0:52

Here's Frankie.

0:56

Welcome Frankie to the Taskmaster podcast.

0:59

Hey, how you doing man? Very good, thank

1:01

you. Thank you very much for coming on the podcast.

1:03

It's my pleasure. I don't know how

1:06

you feel about talking about things

1:08

that you've done in the past, sort

1:11

of surgically going back through

1:13

them. I just, I cannot bear

1:16

to watch myself on anything, or

1:19

even really to hear about having

1:21

done anything. And I just throw

1:23

everything out of my mind the minute it happens.

1:26

Well, this is going to be an absolute nightmare

1:28

for you for the next hour or so. But

1:32

the very nature of Taskmaster is you

1:34

do have to sit in a studio in front

1:36

of people and watch things that you've done. So

1:39

is it just torture for you, all those studio records?

1:42

I love the studio records. I really

1:44

loved it. It's such a great time because, I

1:48

guess the main show I do is New World Order, which

1:50

is like you're hosting it and you're trying to remember

1:53

a lot of stuff. And there's

1:55

also

1:56

a lot of, I guess, technical things we try

1:58

to bring people in and you're going to want. I mean,

2:00

you know, I want to cover us legally on this

2:02

issue and all this stuff. So to just be on something

2:05

where you're like, oh, this is just stupid. And

2:08

I could just enjoy myself. Yeah, it was great.

2:10

Yeah. But the element of of then

2:12

watching something that you've done. Oh, it's so

2:14

disgusting. I have

2:16

this gnostic hatred of seeing my

2:19

own stupid face and my own stupid

2:21

body. And it's like, it's

2:24

actually, I guess,

2:26

in psychiatry, we would call

2:29

it disassociation.

2:31

Like the experience of seeing

2:34

yourself from the outside. That

2:36

would have been come up with before we

2:38

actually had the opportunity to do that. And now we

2:40

can have what people in the

2:43

early 20th century would have considered like a profound

2:46

mental illness.

2:48

Like as that's just part

2:50

of our work, you know, and I hate

2:52

it. I hate seeing myself. That's

2:56

I'm really enjoying the idea of another comic

2:58

coming to you and saying, I've been asked to

3:00

do Taskmaster. How do you think I should

3:02

do it? And then you describe it as a profound

3:04

mental illness. Oh,

3:06

I still think they should genuinely do it. Like,

3:09

you know, it's a great experience. Like

3:12

seeing as we're at the top, I could tell you what I think it's

3:14

about Taskmaster. This is my theory

3:17

I came up with

3:18

on the last episode. I think

3:21

Alex Horn, traveling around

3:23

the country, Alex Horn went

3:25

to

3:26

a public school. I mean, presumably a pretty

3:28

good one, right? So he's

3:30

used to meeting people with a

3:33

certain element of hubris, right?

3:35

A certain element of pomposity. And

3:38

then he goes into stand up comedy,

3:40

which is like, you know, out of the frying

3:42

pan. And, you know, you're meeting all

3:44

these egos and he's devised

3:47

this show, which is about

3:49

humility.

3:50

It's about, you know, humbling

3:53

the self. And then the joy

3:56

of it is when he presents that to a

3:58

TV channel, they don't even let

3:59

him hosted and he is then

4:02

humbled and so he gets

4:04

Greg on to humble him but

4:06

Greg is simply too large

4:09

to have been able to live a normal life so

4:11

all his jokes are about

4:13

humbling himself so really it's

4:16

a show about humiliation and humility.

4:19

Yeah okay so it's sort of it's

4:21

sadomasochism but there's no

4:23

sadists no one's no one could be

4:25

a sadist.

4:26

Yeah it's sadomasochism with teklin

4:29

sticks. I

4:32

think that is the perfect description of Taskmaster.

4:41

Had you wanted to do Taskmaster before because

4:43

I know that you're a much requested

4:45

contestant throughout the whole the whole

4:47

history of the show really I think people were very excited to

4:50

hear that you're finally coming on were you

4:53

sort of were you reluctant to do it initially or

4:56

did you snap it up?

4:57

They'd asked me to do it and

4:59

I'd sort of looked at it and I was a bit like I don't

5:01

really understand this like at first

5:04

like why why is it funny to see

5:06

if someone can like peel a boiled leg

5:08

with their elbows I don't like

5:10

what is this right I didn't

5:12

quite get it and then my daughter got

5:14

really into it my daughter really loves Taskmaster

5:17

and also I have a lot of friends

5:20

who like most my friends are quite

5:22

serious political types

5:25

I mean I know that's weird but it's true right

5:28

and they love Taskmaster

5:30

you know I suppose it's like

5:33

isn't it though yeah because I think you

5:35

have to switch off at the end of the day if you're doing

5:37

really serious stuff you know you're not like

5:39

us where you're like

5:41

oh I can come in and watch Fellini of an evening after

5:43

a gig you're like I just want something that's

5:45

going to amuse me but

5:47

not stretch me

5:49

something purely silly yeah yeah

5:51

and so then I sort of started to get it

5:54

from you could see how other people get it you

5:56

know I mean so your your daughter's

5:58

a fan you say was

5:59

And I understand

6:02

that a couple of your kids were in

6:04

the Ivo masks, beating

6:07

you up in the slow motion fight

6:09

task. Yes, they give me a proper kick and they

6:12

put their little bit

6:14

in. And they loved it. And they got to hang out

6:16

with the Ivo Grimm, you know, which

6:19

was an experience. And, you know, he was very

6:21

lovely.

6:23

Oh, I'm sure. So did they come to the house

6:25

for the day when you were filming then just to hang out and see what

6:27

it was like? Yeah. I was a young child

6:29

and they watched me try to write a song with Ivo

6:33

and then they got some masks on and

6:35

fought with me. It was good. Brilliant,

6:38

brilliant. We're only on episode four so far,

6:40

but already plenty of highlights from you,

6:43

Frankie. I mean, the

6:45

barge task in general, I think, was a highlight for

6:47

everyone. It seemed like everyone was having

6:49

a pretty good day.

6:51

I enjoyed, I certainly enjoyed sailing

6:53

that barge around. But like, I'm sure I

6:55

killed a lot of stuff. I crashed

6:58

it a lot. And there was the guy on

7:00

the barge, and I don't really like to say this, there's the guy on the

7:02

barge to make sure we don't quite crash the barge.

7:05

And like, he nearly fell off at the end

7:07

and I grabbed him. Like, because I parked

7:09

it so violently that he nearly fell

7:12

into the water.

7:13

I mean, it was horrible. I can't drive a

7:15

car. So it was, you know,

7:18

grim. Yeah, I think you and well, I think

7:20

Jenny may be outstripped you in terms of danger

7:22

on the barge in terms of the violence of

7:24

the crashing. But the fact that you nearly killed

7:26

the man who was there to make sure. Yeah,

7:29

I should have got points for that. Yeah.

7:32

He was, he didn't take it that well

7:34

either. He like wasn't, he didn't really

7:36

laugh it off as much as you would have hoped. He's

7:39

quite angry. No, because I mean,

7:41

I guess his main job is to make sure everything's safe,

7:43

right? And if he's, he's the one who's in the most

7:45

danger, he's probably, you

7:47

couldn't fail more

7:48

than that at your job. It's probably quite a

7:50

nasty injury, a barge injury, isn't it? Yeah.

7:53

And the one you want to get, it's probably crushed between a barge

7:56

and a wall. Yeah. It's not

7:58

great.

7:59

there's no such thing as a barge injury. It's

8:02

barge survival or barge death. Yeah.

8:05

And also the your timing

8:08

skills going into the caravan, having

8:10

to sit there for 20 minutes. And just

8:13

I mean, the way the way they've edited it as well, to

8:15

show how well you are doing at Sony different points,

8:17

just saying, I think I've been in here for five minutes, and it's

8:20

exactly five minutes. I think I've been in here 15

8:22

minutes, it's almost bang on 15 minutes. You

8:24

must have felt pretty proud of that.

8:26

Yeah, but you know, that's the thing, isn't it? Like,

8:29

I never overrun. So what was I doing

8:31

there? Like, I would always come off on

8:34

like 19. I always

8:35

figure if you're booked for 20 minutes,

8:37

and you do 19, and then go let's have

8:39

a round of applause for the bar stuff. Very

8:44

much job done. It's very

8:46

strange I ran over.

8:48

Yeah, you forgot. Yeah. And you didn't even do the

8:50

round of applause for Alex and the crew either. So I

8:52

should have done shouldn't I? Also,

8:56

we just got to briefly talk about the I think

8:58

it's my favorite meeting of a team

9:00

in Taskmaster ever. When

9:03

I walked through the gate on

9:05

team day, and you looked over

9:07

your shoulder, I think did you say you thought it was

9:09

just someone delivering something and they'd wanted to shot?

9:12

I thought it was just some bloke. Like,

9:15

I didn't recognize him. I've only ever

9:17

seen

9:18

him from the way stop on Mock the Week. Like,

9:21

and I don't have great eyesight

9:23

at the best of times. And I was just like, who

9:25

the hell is this? So that was an awkward beginning.

9:28

But yeah, flourish them for flourished into a beautiful

9:30

friendship. I think.

9:32

Well, already, you've been compared to

9:34

sort of having a father and son style

9:36

relationship.

9:38

Yeah, I'd love to have a son like I've and

9:40

medicate him into some kind of normality. He

9:47

doesn't need something to calm down calm down his little twitching.

9:50

For sure. That's great. You wouldn't

9:53

you wouldn't change it though, would you? I've,

9:55

you know, you wouldn't change anything.

9:57

No, not until I'd probably I'd want him to wear trousers.

10:00

Taskmaster. I think the shorts were a big, a big

10:02

deal. Yeah, you're right. That's the one thing I'd change.

10:23

Let's, let's just get stuck into this episode then.

10:25

I'm aware you don't like watching yourself back

10:27

and that you brain dump everything after you've done it, but

10:29

I'm going to do my best to remind you throughout this of

10:32

what you did and what other people did. Let's

10:35

talk about the prize task. Well, let's talk about prize

10:37

tasks in general first of all. Did you enjoy doing

10:39

the prize task and selecting the things for that? Yeah,

10:42

my house is full of shit, like

10:44

really strange shit. And I was like, oh great,

10:46

I'm going to ace this. So

10:49

like also I knew that I must have done horribly

10:51

on the tasks. So I

10:52

thought I could make up points here, A,

10:55

by bringing in some stuff, but also

10:57

B, by carping it and,

10:59

and scoring points of everybody

11:01

else's stuff, which is my real skill. Taking

11:05

apart everyone else's efforts. Yeah. Yeah.

11:07

That probably had an evolutionary purpose

11:09

too. One point, you know, you'd have

11:12

like, you needed people to build a dam and

11:14

build a camp and stuff, but you also needed someone

11:16

to go, oh shit here. You

11:18

know, let's move. And

11:20

you know, I, I would have had a purpose once.

11:23

Yeah. Sort of village grump.

11:26

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I,

11:28

I really enjoyed them. I really enjoyed seeing what people had brought.

11:30

I think this is the, I mean, actually, I mean, you

11:32

bring in an art thing here, but I think the previous

11:34

three episodes you've brought in pieces of

11:36

art, you know, not necessarily from your

11:39

house, but the first episode you had the painting

11:41

of you on the horse, quite

11:44

an imposing, an imposing portrait

11:46

of you, which I'd imagine hangs above the fireplace

11:48

or something like that.

11:49

Yeah. It's in, it's in my yoga room, mate.

11:59

Then there was the,

11:59

weird medieval cats, which I don't believe you

12:02

have in your house. I think that was more of a sort of research

12:04

project. That was a research project.

12:07

Yeah. Yeah. And then last

12:09

week we had, well, for

12:11

us, the viewer, it was a heavily pixelated

12:15

Wolverine and Captain America sort

12:17

of slash fan fiction. Oh, God,

12:19

I'd forgotten about that.

12:21

Yeah. We spoke to Jenny Eclair about that. And

12:23

she she still seems quite quite

12:26

shaken by the content of that. There

12:30

would be a good couple. There would be a lovely

12:32

couple. Why? I think you said

12:34

you made the Superman comparison of,

12:36

you know, Superman would would suck you inside

12:39

out, I believe is the phrase that you used. But

12:42

Wolverines, Wolverines are tricky lover,

12:44

surely.

12:46

Yeah, I mean, like, you know, so much

12:48

easier for him. He's always going to recover.

12:51

He's always going to recover. But the old the

12:53

old claws surely if they come out in heightened

12:56

moments of tension and

12:58

excitement, then he's got to be careful where he's

13:01

putting his hands.

13:02

Oh, so just generally, if you took the whole super

13:04

hero thing out of it, a guy who

13:06

was in special forces and had memory

13:08

blocks inserted to make him forget

13:11

that he'd murdered his own wife is not your ideal

13:13

gay lover. You know,

13:16

there's a lot of red flags there. Yeah,

13:18

for sure. But, you know, I think, you know, I'm

13:20

not going to say what I was going to say. But

13:23

let's just move on from that. But yeah,

13:25

unfortunately, heavily pixelated by

13:27

the time you reach the viewers, but I'm sure I'm sure people can

13:29

find some of the stuff online if they want to do a bit of research.

13:32

I bet they will. Yeah, let's

13:35

talk about this. Jenny and Claire

13:37

have that picture. Yes,

13:40

it is someone when

13:41

I think no, because Jenny wins

13:43

this episode. I believe it was Ivo that that

13:46

one last week's episode. Oh, well,

13:48

he's definitely got it. He's definitely

13:50

got it. I'm not sure if he's a comic book fan, but I feel

13:52

like this might be the gateway. Yeah,

13:55

yeah.

13:56

Let's talk about this prize

13:58

task, the most fun thing to wear on your. that

14:00

you aren't supposed to wear on your head. Now,

14:03

this

14:04

is a victory for you in this task.

14:07

Is this something you had in your house anyway? It was the recreated

14:09

scene from Chitty Chitty Blank Bang using a Sylvanian

14:11

family on top of a motor board. Was that

14:14

kicking around? No, an

14:16

art therapist made it for me.

14:18

And she's

14:20

a very creative lady, but she's

14:23

also obsessed with Sylvanian

14:25

families.

14:27

So my idea was that

14:29

we would do a crucifixion scene,

14:32

but Channel Four

14:34

were understandably uneasy

14:37

about a crucified Sylvanian

14:39

Christ, and instead

14:42

we had this.

14:43

Yeah, I mean, I think Greg

14:45

says he's looking for the darkness, and I guess that's

14:47

the sort of darkest Channel Four would let you push it as the

14:49

childcatcher in Chitty Chitty

14:51

Bang Bang. But I think

14:54

what's wrong with the crucifixion scene with Sylvanian

14:56

families, you know, the crucifixion

14:57

has a happy ending.

15:02

Yeah, exactly. It comes back. And

15:05

it's more harrowing when you see a bloke on there, surely.

15:08

It's actually a softer way of doing it with Sylvanian families.

15:10

Yeah, I mean, anyone who argues that

15:12

the story of Christ is more downbeat than

15:15

the childcatcher from

15:17

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. I mean, I

15:20

don't agree.

15:21

Well, we would have loved to

15:23

have seen the crucifixion, but the

15:25

childcatcher was great as well. And I also

15:28

think it was imaginative, you know,

15:30

it was fun and it was quite sweet. We're

15:32

seeing a sweeter side of you already

15:34

in this series, Frankie.

15:36

I'm a pretty sweet guy.

15:37

Yeah, you know, I know you're a sweet guy,

15:40

but, you know, obviously

15:42

you're on stage persona, not a

15:45

cutie pie, not a sweetheart, I would say.

15:48

Yeah, there's that sort of on stage

15:50

thing, isn't there? And there's like, Ivo said

15:52

this to me in the in

15:55

the recordings, like in the panel show, a bit

15:57

of it. He said, God,

15:59

it's

15:59

this a bit of a stretch for you because like,

16:02

um, you're, you're used to being like someone

16:04

in a suit on a panel show or whatever. And

16:06

I was like thinking

16:08

when I started, I did a lot of daft sketch

16:10

stuff and I did it like topical

16:13

comedy as well. And this was just the bit that people

16:15

would employ me today because

16:17

they hated all the daft stuff, you know,

16:20

but, but I still quite enjoy,

16:22

you know, being daft.

16:24

Did you give the art therapist direction on what

16:26

you wanted?

16:27

Or so you specifically said, I want,

16:29

well you wanted the crucifixion, but our Sylvanian

16:31

families, her medium.

16:33

I said, what about Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, then?

16:36

And I sort of imagined it would therefore be the car,

16:38

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, rather

16:40

than a grim story,

16:44

like of, of

16:45

child abduction. Yeah. I mean, that's

16:47

awful. You said Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and she was like,

16:49

I assume he means the child catcher. Yeah.

16:54

Yeah. That's probably why you meant it. Five

16:57

points. Even though I could see Ivo was annoyed

16:59

that you got five points. He got one point. It's

17:01

very funny watching Ivo get, try and

17:03

get angry, but also remain extremely polite because

17:06

he brought in a turkey and he's so

17:08

earnest the way he presents it. He really thinks he's got

17:10

the points in the bag and is baffled

17:12

when he gets one point for the turkey.

17:14

What did you think of the turkey as a prize? I thought it was very poor.

17:17

I thought, you know, I

17:20

think wasn't it that something that would be

17:23

the most fun?

17:24

What was the actual thing? And

17:26

the most fun things to wear in your head that you aren't supposed to wear

17:29

in your head. And he brought in a turkey and then

17:31

gave us several stories about people who'd worn

17:33

turkeys on their head and had harrowing experiences.

17:36

Yeah, because he

17:38

said Courtney Cox hated it. And

17:41

he said, well, we all know Bean

17:43

Bean doesn't enjoy that, does he? He's not having a nice time

17:45

when he's in the turkey.

17:46

No. Well,

17:47

Ron Atkinson probably isn't having a nice time

17:49

just filming Mr. Beaton. So

17:52

much. I mean, just any moment that's spent

17:54

not in his golden house is probably

17:56

agony to him. Nevermind

17:59

sticking it to him.

17:59

I killed his head. Yeah,

18:03

he's not he's not going back to beat now. That's why it's a cartoon

18:05

now. He can just he can just sit in his

18:07

Aston Martin and count the money. Yeah,

18:09

draw it if you want. I don't care.

18:12

But whatever you like on his head, I'm not doing it. Let's

18:16

talk about May's price to us now. May

18:18

is a brilliant taskmaster contestant. Let's not beat around

18:20

the bush. But one of the one of the

18:23

greats, one of the greats so good at

18:25

the film tasks. I think occasionally

18:27

they seem to have a bit of a problem.

18:29

Selling their prize tasks.

18:32

So I think this was May had an

18:34

inflatable version of themselves

18:37

on their head as a fun thing to wear on

18:39

their head.

18:41

But even the way that May goes into it

18:43

just seems they seem so downtrodden,

18:46

just like, yeah, and I guess you put that on your

18:48

head and already crumbling under the

18:51

pressure.

18:52

I think May

18:55

may be staggered by the shittiness

18:57

of what everyone else has brought in sometimes.

19:01

Undersells their own stuff.

19:04

Not thinking how much we

19:06

will carve and point

19:09

carve off what they have brought in. But

19:12

me in general, just like incredibly

19:15

focused and intelligent

19:17

person. I was thinking during the records,

19:20

my mind often wonders, but how

19:22

good May would be as a detective.

19:25

You

19:25

know, a really good detective

19:27

character with this, you know, a slight

19:30

air of, and I mean this in a good way, a

19:32

slight sartorial air of tin tin. Yeah.

19:35

And a very focused, very, very kind of

19:38

clever person. I'd

19:40

watch that show. Yeah, I absolutely

19:42

would as well.

19:44

Maybe not if the character wore a version of themselves

19:46

on their own head, because I'm not sure that I

19:49

mean, they undersold it, sure. But I

19:51

don't think it was their best effort in terms

19:53

of prize tasks, because I think

19:56

it's not just for you to wear on your head,

19:58

right? So would it be a fun?

19:59

Say for example, if you had to pick something

20:02

fun to wear on your head, would it be fun for you to wear

20:04

a version of May-Martin on your head or would it

20:06

have to be of you? I would

20:08

love to wear a version of May-Martin

20:11

on my head. I'd loathe to wear a version of

20:13

myself on my head. That would be so

20:15

disgusting. But like wearing

20:17

me, it would feel like a kind of shamanistic

20:21

retro. Yeah,

20:23

it would feel like the end of a folk horror film, wouldn't it?

20:25

But

20:27

I would also enjoy you seeing you wearing

20:29

a version of yourself on your head, Frankie.

20:32

I think this is this association thing you

20:34

have again. You don't even want to watch yourself, a

20:36

blow up version of your own self. I think as you

20:38

get older, man, it's like, you know,

20:40

like when you're younger, you're like, you're watching stuff

20:42

you do and you're like, oh, I could have done that better

20:45

and blah, blah, blah. And you know, but like

20:47

when you hit 50, you feel kind of like

20:49

an old stick floating down a river and

20:51

you're like, you know, death

20:54

is at the end. And I don't

20:56

even know that I'm the stick anymore.

20:57

I'm at the stick. I'm at the river. I'm at the bank.

21:00

I don't know. But you know, there's

21:02

no part of it. There's no part

21:04

of it. That's like, I want to see a blown

21:07

up there. I already look kind of blown

21:09

up. Do you know what I mean? I don't

21:11

want to accentuate that. Yeah, sure. Well, you can let

21:13

it down a bit. You can, you know, take some of the

21:15

air out. It would be a lovely, lovely compliment to yourself.

21:18

Even May, I think, used the phrase

21:20

in an earlier episode, am I the meat? Am I the viewer?

21:23

I think that really captures what we're talking

21:25

about right now. I think we were all essentially having

21:27

some of my breakdown during the filming.

21:30

And I had tried to persuade everyone for

21:32

the final episode to take magic mushrooms. So

21:34

this is going on behind the scenes.

21:37

I'm I'm urging everyone to have

21:39

what would have presumably been quite an alarming

21:41

psychedelic experience.

21:43

Yeah. So we're all thinking along those lines.

21:47

And I won't, I won't reveal too much because

21:49

I feel like this might be a spoiler. But

21:52

in the final episode, you are dressed, you

21:54

are all dressed

21:56

appropriately for that experience.

21:58

Yes, we had we had got the outfits. but

22:00

then, you know, we just we

22:02

decided at the end. It

22:05

might have been really funny, but it also

22:07

might have been incredibly disturbing.

22:11

So you didn't take the idea

22:13

to Channel 4? You

22:15

weren't suggesting it to them?

22:17

No, I think people

22:19

knew it was in the air, but it just

22:22

didn't happen.

22:24

Kyle brought

22:26

in a goldfish bowl. I

22:28

think this prize is bad, but also I

22:31

just love the way Kyle sells stuff when

22:33

he just says things like, imagine having that on your

22:35

head, and just makes a stupid noise. I think

22:37

he's so funny. Yeah,

22:40

and he's an actor, so he can sell stuff. Yeah,

22:43

he can sell stuff. Unlike us, he had charm.

22:45

Had

22:49

you met Kyle before? No, I hadn't, no. Well,

22:52

you all seem to get on well pretty quickly,

22:54

to be honest. I think there's always a worry about when,

22:56

you know, there's a cast who haven't all hung out before

22:59

or met each other too often that there's going to be chemistry

23:01

issues, but it seemed to click quite quickly. Did

23:03

you find that? Oh, yeah, they all seemed

23:05

great from the off. I was like, the

23:07

only way I'd known Jenny and Claire, I told

23:09

her this, but like, I'd only

23:11

really knew her through Grumpilled Women and

23:14

her initial stand-up.

23:15

And you know how you just kind of respond

23:17

to what you see people do, don't you? So I'd

23:20

imagined she would be a bit grumpy. I'd

23:23

said to this friend of mine who'd met,

23:25

I mean, that's the only one I can worry about. Maybe

23:27

she'll be a bit kind of downbeat. And they were like,

23:30

oh, no, she's a riot man. She's

23:32

absolutely bananas. And sure

23:34

enough, she was great, you know? Well,

23:37

that's really interesting, as Jenny said to us last week, that, yeah, it was the

23:39

first time you two were meeting, which is

23:41

mad to me that you wouldn't have crossed paths

23:43

at some point. And that you were worried that she was

23:45

going

23:45

to be grumpy and she was a bit nervous about what you were going to

23:47

be like. And then immediately

23:50

just got on like a house on fire. Yeah, yeah, no, she

23:52

was great. She's a real livewire.

23:55

Well, let's talk about her prize briefly. She

23:57

said this was an interesting sort of...

24:00

comedy equations she did. She said it would

24:02

be hacked to bring in a T-cozy and

24:04

hacked to bring in a traffic cone. So what she did was

24:07

combine the two into a knitted traffic cone

24:09

T-cozy. As if

24:11

putting both of those things together, it cancels

24:13

out any notion of it being boring.

24:16

Which I, it kind of did. I

24:18

thought it was good. I think, you know, she had someone

24:20

knit it for her. I thought it was a nice effort. Or

24:23

had it squared the

24:24

idea of how boring

24:26

it was? I don't know. Yeah,

24:29

exactly. Yeah. Just thinking of

24:32

the stand-up equivalent. It's like doing, you know,

24:34

airline food and mother-in-law

24:36

jokes. You do a joke about your mother-in-law cooking on an airline.

24:40

Yeah. Dogs, how dogs react to

24:42

airline food as opposed to how cats react to

24:44

it. You know what?

24:46

I'd watch you do it, Frankie. I'd watch you do that routine.

24:50

So it was five points for you, four points for Jenny,

24:52

three points to Kyle, two points to May

24:54

and one points to Ivo. Ivo,

24:57

can you beat the child catcher? In a word,

24:59

no. But I do

25:01

think this fits the brief because it's been used as

25:04

a joke in two of the most popular comedy shows of all

25:06

time. It's a turkey.

25:08

It's a turkey.

25:10

We've all had a good old laugh

25:12

at Mr Bean or Courtney Cox's

25:14

moniker and friends wearing a turkey on their head.

25:17

Did moniker from friends wear a turkey

25:19

that was quite that moist? In

25:22

an interview about the experience, she described

25:24

it as disgusting. I don't want

25:26

to be too pedantic here, but in a task

25:28

where it's the most fun thing to wear

25:30

on your head

25:31

and you've described how women was deeply

25:34

traumatised. That's

25:37

undeniably incisive stuff, Frankie. You

25:40

can bust a short, Frankie. It's going to score very

25:43

badly. It's going to

25:45

score badly. Oh,

25:45

God. It was in the Sylvanian family. Yes, much

25:48

worse.

25:51

Let's talk about task one. This was a great

25:53

one for you as well, Frankie. Strike the most drum skins

25:55

and cymbals with a single throw of a bouncy ball.

25:58

You have a maximum of 20 minutes.

25:59

your time starts now, you look like

26:02

you loved doing this one.

26:05

I wish I'd sort of, you know, one of the

26:07

things when you do them is you're like,

26:10

I don't particularly care if I do this really well

26:12

or whatever. I just like to do something

26:15

that everybody else hasn't done so

26:17

that, you know, because I know they've got a show to

26:19

make. And then if we all

26:21

of us do what seems to me to be the obvious thing,

26:24

then, you know, so sometimes you just try to think

26:26

a different way. So I thought

26:29

afterwards, you know, immediately

26:31

afterwards you think of it, I thought afterwards that I

26:33

should have like got the symbols in my

26:36

hand and then just bounce

26:38

the ball with my symbols. So there would have

26:40

only

26:40

been one throw, but

26:42

I would have been able to kind of play

26:44

it by bouncing it. But that's that's always

26:46

the way, isn't it? Just after you finish.

26:48

Absolutely. But I think what you did do was was

26:51

unique in itself and a very good way of

26:53

doing it, lining them all up in high order

26:55

and then having a sort of step system

26:57

all the way down. And it did very well for you. And

26:59

also, you know, it got played back in the studio, the

27:02

sort of excited giggle that you let out every

27:04

time you did it. It's very giggle of pride. Who's not

27:06

going to enjoy throwing a bouncy ball

27:08

down a set of drums? You know, yeah,

27:11

we can't enjoy that. It's so this is almost

27:13

a very this is a

27:15

task I play people to to show them

27:17

how differently people think and why Taskmaster

27:20

works, because I bet as you were doing that, you

27:22

are thinking, I'm sure someone else has thought of this. It's

27:24

but more of the warning is everyone else is

27:27

doing this.

27:27

I mean, they're going to have a whole

27:30

bunch of these and nothing to kind

27:32

of make the show with.

27:34

But then they don't. You

27:36

never would have thought that someone would, for

27:39

example, just throw one ball at one drum

27:41

repeatedly over and over again.

27:45

And then lose their mind, lose

27:47

their mind when Alex says you're just doing the same thing

27:49

over and over again and just shut the ball and start

27:51

screaming as Jenny as

27:53

Jenny did coincidentally. That

27:56

was fantastic to watch as well, because she's so excited

27:58

about task sometimes.

27:59

loses patience with them completely. Comics

28:03

are, I mean, I don't mean anyone on this

28:05

pretty particular bit. Comics in general are quite

28:08

ADHD, aren't they? Apparently no. They're

28:10

lots of comics. Yeah. ADHD diagnosis.

28:13

And I think people who, even the people who aren't, they

28:15

sort of, they have traits that kind

28:17

of mirror some of those kind of things.

28:20

So you can, you can see that sometimes. And I can feel

28:22

it myself sometimes when you're like, okay,

28:24

I've got this idea. And then five minutes in, you

28:26

want to do something else. Yeah, absolutely.

28:29

I mean,

28:29

let's talk about Ivo because he

28:32

started doing this quite a lot in Taskmaster.

28:35

He adds extraneous details or

28:37

things to the task that he absolutely doesn't need to do.

28:39

So he's done it, he had to compose

28:41

a song and he said, well, the only notes I'm

28:44

going to use have to be in

28:45

Ivo Graham Taskmaster. And

28:48

that hampered him immeasurably. And

28:50

the same here, he goes, I think it'll be nice

28:53

if Greg plays the drums and spends about five

28:55

minutes moving the entire drum kit over to the

28:57

statue of Greg, which adds absolutely

28:59

nothing to the task. It's pure hindrance. Yes.

29:02

And the fight one, he really wanted

29:04

to introduce flower to the task.

29:07

And he's for some flower to be thrown during

29:09

the fight. And everyone said, but once we throw

29:11

it once for continuity, we won't be

29:13

able to do anything else ever again. And

29:16

so all the discussions just kept coming round

29:18

to flower.

29:19

And then as he was thoroughly

29:21

rebuffed, he came out of the caravan and just

29:23

started walking around with a bag of flour,

29:25

throwing some of it into the air as

29:27

if to suggest flour, question

29:30

mark, you know. So

29:32

he clearly had things that he would

29:35

like to have happened that were impractical. Yeah,

29:38

totally. There weren't always people there to

29:40

hold him back. No, but

29:43

I love the dynamic between you two, just

29:45

to go back to your team dynamic. When you were building

29:47

the bridge for the potato

29:49

and you decided you wanted

29:51

to go from the top of the

29:52

thing. And then you can

29:55

hear him very politely in a very

29:57

sort of public school way, gently.

29:59

trying to nudge you towards what he thought,

30:02

but in

30:03

a sort of

30:04

passive aggressive, but very eaten

30:06

way.

30:07

Yes. But I mean, decided

30:09

that I wanted to is a strong word. I mean, I'm just

30:12

trying to think of anything to do. Like,

30:15

I mean, you underrate panic

30:18

as a factor in these things. Oh God,

30:20

let's do something and get

30:22

through this terrible task with this

30:24

book. You weren't

30:27

picking from a selection of options in your

30:29

head where you just you literally just did

30:31

it. To be fair, I had

30:33

sent I bought I bought to the blackboard

30:35

to come up with some options and he had done

30:37

nothing. He

30:40

rubbed the drawing board

30:43

off the chalkboard. That's why

30:45

we were starting from the top of the redome. But

30:49

it was this was an awful effort from Ivo with the drums.

30:51

He said he got three bounces or or

30:54

a murky for I believe was his phrase.

30:57

The great thing about Ivo does does task terribly

30:59

but he can really commentate and describe

31:02

them in a most in the most florid way. Yeah,

31:04

so he's very emotionally engaged.

31:06

Yes, absolutely. Yeah,

31:09

you did the step thing, which is great.

31:11

Now we've let's let's get to it. This is this this is

31:13

the sticky part of the conversation. Frankie may

31:15

ties a piece of string

31:17

to the ball and then bounces

31:20

it on the drums. Now we see

31:22

maybe three to four minutes of debate

31:24

in the studio

31:25

about whether may It

31:29

was a much longer debate. Yes,

31:32

this is what I was gonna ask.

31:34

How do you feel about how do you feel about it now?

31:37

Now you've had time to time to sit

31:39

on this the idea that may

31:41

threw the ball initially or didn't throw the ball initially

31:44

and then bounced with their string onto

31:46

the onto

31:47

the cymbals and drums.

31:50

How are you feeling about that now?

31:52

I feel that that was

31:54

profoundly illegitimate. And

31:57

it was was it a single throw

31:59

It was a single throw. It was a single throw.

32:02

And, you know,

32:04

that wasn't throwing and

32:07

it was casting. You cast

32:09

something on a line. And then I don't know if this

32:12

happens in edit, but Alex looks up cast

32:14

and says, you know, that

32:16

says to throw something, but that is a different

32:19

and more specific type of throw. I

32:21

think. I think if we'd

32:24

got some linguists and some etymologists

32:27

into the studio, I think that me wouldn't have

32:29

got those points. Yes. Well,

32:33

here's what I do agree with you. I think

32:35

it is a legitimate, but not because of the initial throw. I

32:37

think there was an initial throw, but

32:40

it says a single throw. And then

32:43

by the definition that Alex gives of throw, which

32:45

is causing momentum, using your

32:47

arm or hand,

32:48

may is doing that

32:50

over and over again. That

32:52

would have been a good point. Yeah. But

32:57

by the time that came up, we'd been arguing about it for

32:59

about 15 minutes. Sure. Sure. I

33:02

also think what, what may may have done, I think, I think, I

33:05

think they have seen Taskmaster before

33:06

in series eight, Luz

33:09

Sanders had a task where

33:11

she had to bounce a ball as many times as possible

33:13

and tied it to a piece of string and bounce

33:16

and bounced it on the piece of string.

33:19

So

33:19

she could get as many bounces in as possible and did about 200

33:21

times, I think. But that is bouncing and that counts

33:23

as bouncing. It

33:26

is also throwing and you're only allowed

33:28

a single throw in this. So

33:30

I do feel that May's effort was, was a legitimate here, but

33:33

Greg doesn't care. And sometimes he gives the points based on how

33:35

angry it's

33:35

going to make everyone else. Well, I feel they should

33:37

have that. They

33:40

should have a panel of linguistic experts and Taskmaster

33:43

historians that you can throw to during these arguments.

33:47

Or cast to. Yes. Or

33:49

cast to. And, you know,

33:51

start, start to really get into, you know, build

33:54

a whole sort of Talmud of Taskmaster.

34:00

I believe I think in an early series,

34:02

maybe a series two, they did have

34:05

to consult Susie Dent on something.

34:08

And Alex had a message from

34:10

Susie Dent saying whether I think it was one of Richard Osman's

34:12

tasks was, was legitimate or not. So, so

34:15

shame they couldn't do it. I guess you'd need dent

34:17

on,

34:18

on speed dial for these things as they come

34:20

up in the studio.

34:21

Yeah. Or, or, you know, philosophers

34:24

or slides of Zizek or whoever, you

34:26

could have a guest one every week, like dictionary corner.

34:29

I guess philosopher every week.

34:31

Yeah. Why not?

34:33

Well, they would answer that question. Why not? I

34:37

guess some weeks it would feel unnecessary

34:39

for the philosopher to be there. Um,

34:42

you know, you'd be, you'd be throwing to a philosopher

34:44

saying, is this a fun thing to wear on your head? And

34:46

it wouldn't, it would feel like a waste of their time. Yeah.

34:49

You've just got Jimmy Carr in there who's had to

34:51

peel a hundred bananas in 20 minutes

34:53

and slides of Zizek would just be shrugging.

34:58

I guess

35:00

that would really make them think, uh, what's the meaning of life

35:02

at that point? They'd really have to

35:05

interrogate themselves.

35:06

Um, so however controversial

35:08

it was five points to me. It was four points to you,

35:10

Frankie, three points to Jenny, two points

35:12

to Kyle and one point to Ivo.

35:17

I thought it was meant to be just percussion, not strings

35:20

and percussion. Oh,

35:26

it's kicking off. I

35:29

felt for you there, May, because

35:31

you expected, I think rightly, everybody

35:34

to cheer you from thereafter, but the whole audience

35:36

sat there like this. Yeah.

35:38

They don't like clever people. Am

35:42

I coming across my, what's going on?

35:44

I think people were confused. Is it a single

35:46

throw? It left my hand only one time and the

35:49

momentum continued and it was

35:51

travelling. Can I just say purely for the

35:53

sake of argument? Yeah. If you went to a fairground

35:56

and they said you've got a single throw to knock

35:59

over this coconut.

35:59

And you went, thanks very much, mate. Tied

36:02

a string to the bowl. LAUGHTER Threw

36:05

it once and then started swinging the string

36:07

around until you knocked the coconut over.

36:09

Yeah. You might get a beating. LAUGHTER

36:12

Task two, make the fastest eggboat.

36:15

Your eggboat must look like a boat and transport an

36:17

egg. If your eggboat sinks or loses its egg,

36:19

you are disqualified. You have three minutes to order

36:21

five materials, then 15 minutes to make your eggboat.

36:23

Also, all your materials must start with the same letter

36:26

and you can't order anything boaty. Your

36:28

time starts now.

36:30

Now, this was pretty heartbreaking for

36:32

you, Frankie. I don't know if you found it heartbreaking. It was heartbreaking

36:34

to watch. Your egg, of course, goes

36:37

overboard and then the boat wins the race. I

36:40

should explain.

36:41

I thought that we were putting that

36:43

eggboat in that goldfish bowl.

36:46

Not in that. Right. So I hadn't really read the

36:48

thing properly at all. And that's

36:50

why I ordered P, a plant, because I was going

36:52

to put the plant into the goldfish bowl.

36:55

Lovely. And balance the thing on top

36:57

of it. So in the

36:59

end, I just made a little bit of paper and wrapped

37:01

it in some cellophane.

37:03

And I got what I deserved, you know, it's

37:07

sad because it looked like I'd done well briefly.

37:09

But then I also I don't want to do so well that

37:11

I win the episode. Do

37:13

you know what I mean? I don't want to be up there kind

37:15

of pointing out all the prizes and whatnot.

37:17

I would feel like a bit of an arse. So

37:20

in a way, this is very interesting. Yeah,

37:23

so this completely recontextualises

37:25

your entire time on Taskmaster, I think, that

37:27

every time you wanted to do well, but not

37:30

so well that you had to stand on the stage and point out all the

37:32

prizes. Exactly. And,

37:34

you know, that's a fine line to walk. Yeah.

37:37

And so when this when

37:39

this went against me, this task, I

37:42

wasn't heartbroken because I'd already done

37:44

like

37:45

dangerously well in the first two

37:48

tasks. If you

37:50

if you'd found yourself on the stage, though,

37:53

after this episode and you'd won, what

37:56

would you what would you have done? Because they do ask you

37:58

to do something like interact with the prize. What are

38:00

you doing in that situation? I'd have

38:02

made the most of it, man. I'd have had

38:05

me marting over my head. I'd have had

38:07

to have gone for it, you know? But

38:11

inside, I would have hated it. Well,

38:15

it was very sad to see I go overboard. No

38:17

one else's eggs went overboard. And

38:20

look, I was very surprised that May's lost, because

38:22

May seems to be flying down the course. May

38:26

picked the plastic inflatable

38:28

water wings. That's a slight sort

38:29

of, that's a slight bending

38:32

of what they actually are. Paperclip,

38:34

polystyrene paper, precious

38:36

tape. But it's flying down

38:39

the course of that boat. And then comes last.

38:42

I vote. Go on.

38:45

I often felt with May's stuff, you know, like Charlie

38:48

Brown and Linus. Did you ever read like

38:50

Peter? Yes. Yeah. Oh,

38:53

I also found out, like I dated this

38:55

girl, I found was like a

38:57

subsection of people who felt

38:59

that Charlie Brown was terminally

39:02

ill, right? Because he was bald.

39:06

And I couldn't believe that she thought that. But

39:08

then I looked it up and that's just a thing that a

39:10

certain percentage of the population think,

39:13

right? Anyway, I always felt with

39:15

May that it was a bit like Charlie Brown and

39:17

Linus. Remember Charlie Brown, we go, I'm going to build a little

39:19

snow fort, and get some little snowballs

39:21

together,

39:22

and a little kid would, and then he'd go over to Linus, and

39:25

he'd go over to the other side of the boat. And I

39:27

felt like a big castle with turrets and stuff. And that's

39:30

always what May's stuff was like to me. Well, so May

39:32

is Linus in this situation. Yeah.

39:36

May is Linus and I'm the dying

39:38

Charlie

39:39

Brown. Well, I'm

39:41

interested in this subsection of people who think that Charlie Brown's terminally

39:43

ill. Is it that they, that

39:47

they always assumed since they read it as a kid that Charlie Brown's

39:49

ill, or is it like a conspiracy

39:51

theory? Oh no, the first. The first one, yeah.

39:53

Because he's bald. Yeah.

39:56

They just think he's really ill rather

39:58

than, you know.

39:59

I can't with

40:02

a really weird head. So

40:07

unfortunately, Maize comes in,

40:10

you know, pretty, pretty much last and

40:13

only gets two points because of course you get disqualified.

40:16

Ivo's boat is

40:18

very nice. I think he spends a lot of time, you know,

40:20

putting the boat together, thinking about

40:22

what he's going to do with the boat. He has a banana

40:24

for a snack. But you can tell

40:27

he's downhearted already when, you know,

40:29

everyone says it's going to become last and he says

40:31

first in fun, which is just heartbreaking. Poor

40:39

guy.

40:41

Jenny asks for bras because of the the

40:44

foamy tick cup would give it some

40:46

ballast. I will watch Jenny do anything.

40:48

She throws herself into everything at like full

40:50

pace, just screaming excitement.

40:53

Should be a great children's TV presenter. Yeah,

40:56

I think she would. All the

40:58

stuff she'd make wouldn't be very practical

41:00

or work or whatever, but like it would

41:02

be fun to watch. It's a good lesson

41:04

for kids that though, isn't it? That not everything you make

41:07

is going to work. You just know

41:09

that could be the title of the show. Not everything works.

41:13

A reality show for children.

41:17

And it does well though. HMS boat. That's

41:19

Jenny's boat. Does very well indeed.

41:22

But Kyle, I'm so glad when

41:24

Kyle wins a task because when he comes to the bottom,

41:26

he's the most indignant, angry man. And

41:29

I was like that one taskmaster as well. But he

41:32

is like everything's personal with Kyle.

41:34

He decided to take it personally quite early.

41:37

And why not? You know, you

41:39

might as well get whatever better fuel

41:41

you can together. He

41:43

did well, you know,

41:45

did very well. And he gets a

41:47

ball bacon basket, blue

41:49

hat and a balloon, gets a little hat for the egg, which I

41:51

really liked. And then asks the

41:53

question, which is the title of this

41:55

episode? How heavy is the water?

41:59

Which

42:01

feels like something we could throw to one of the philosophers

42:04

at this point. A

42:06

pound of water weighs a pound, doesn't it?

42:09

Does it? Yeah, pretty much. Well,

42:11

there you go. I guess I've never known that

42:13

because

42:14

you wouldn't really need to know that because water's

42:17

the same weight generally, I guess. It'd

42:19

be pretty strange if that was a vital

42:21

piece of information at any point.

42:25

But, yeah. It

42:28

was a great job by Kael. He's very

42:31

excited to win and also he makes his lovely cheeky

42:33

face when he's building the boat because he has

42:35

the face of a four-year-old. It

42:38

was five points for Kael, four points for Jenny, three

42:40

points for Ivo,

42:41

two points for May

42:43

and a big fat zero for you, Frankie,

42:46

very sadly. And the death of your own. That's sad.

42:49

Certainly people make paper things, don't they?

42:51

Paper. Polished iron. Plasticine.

42:54

But now I have to think about other peas. Yes.

42:57

A ball, like a tiny ball, like a golf ball. Okay.

43:00

Ball. Ball for golf. Yep. Balls.

43:04

Brackets. People. Plastic.

43:06

By which I mean like cling foam. Plastic inflatable

43:08

water wings. Arm bands. They begin with P,

43:10

do they? Plastic inflatable water

43:12

wings. Okay. Gaffer tape. Gaffer...

43:16

Baffer tape. Could you get them some baffer tape, please? I

43:18

don't know what

43:18

baffer tape is. It's like gaffer tape, but it's better. I don't

43:20

think I can get you baffer tape. Balloons. A

43:23

balloon. Brass. Umpteen

43:25

brass. I'll get you umpteen brass. Banana. Bread.

43:29

Pea. Plant. Uh,

43:31

bacon.

43:36

Tusk three. This is the

43:38

bingo task. First to complete a line

43:41

or four corners wins, your time starts when somebody

43:43

shouts bingo. Now,

43:45

I want to talk to you, Frankie, specifically

43:48

about two things here.

43:50

Firstly, controversy in this episode again,

43:52

when you went out to get the banana, you

43:55

brought back the sign that said banana,

43:58

and then claimed that that should be the sign.

43:59

should be accepted as the banana.

44:03

What was the actual word? Did it say

44:06

the banana? It did. It said, get the banana

44:08

down from the tree. So

44:11

a depiction of a banana would

44:13

be much more likely to be referred to as the

44:15

banana than a banana,

44:18

which you would call a banana.

44:20

You know, now I really think we should get

44:23

these philosophers in. Yeah.

44:25

They really need to be in for this bit. This went on

44:27

in the studio for about half an hour

44:30

and we all kind of lost our minds. And

44:32

you know that thing when you're on every chord as well,

44:34

where you're just like, if I keep talking

44:36

about this, we might hit funny. And

44:40

we never quite did, but like we kept

44:42

digging for a really long time and it got very

44:44

heated. And I think

44:46

there is something in there. A depiction

44:48

of a thing can be referred to as the

44:50

thing. And in some ways, a depiction

44:53

of a thing can be referred to

44:55

as the thing more easily than

44:58

a thing itself.

45:00

You know, because because there are

45:02

multiples of bananas,

45:05

but there is only one that

45:07

depiction as far as we yeah, the banana. Yeah.

45:10

And the arrow with banana on presumably there's

45:12

not many of those kicking around. Exactly.

45:14

Yeah.

45:15

I mean, I would say the arrow, the

45:17

arrow format would

45:19

probably give me a clue that that's not what they wanted you

45:21

to bring in because it's pointing somewhere.

45:24

Or was that a sign that they meant.

45:27

To direct to me towards a banana,

45:30

it was directing you towards a banana,

45:32

which I believe they were referring to as the banana,

45:34

whereas you brought in the banana sign.

45:36

That that was the banana

45:38

that was directing me towards a banana. Because

45:42

there are many bananas in the

45:44

world, but there is only this

45:46

banana saying that

45:49

that would be the banana. Well, I

45:51

mean, this was your argument. I don't know if Jenny

45:54

was Jenny hopping on the back of this argument or was she

45:56

just saying I brought the wrong thing?

45:58

And I don't think. anyone agreed with

46:01

me on any level, you know. And

46:04

I don't know at times I didn't agree with

46:06

myself, but the longer I pursued

46:08

it, the more convinced I became. Yeah. Well,

46:11

it didn't work. Unfortunately, you got a point taken

46:13

off bringing in the banana sign, but

46:15

also you to pop

46:18

the bubbles on the bubble wrap,

46:20

you started a small fire and melted

46:23

the sheet. Did that

46:25

come to you straight away?

46:27

Um,

46:28

I, I popped a few bubbles and

46:31

I thought this is incredibly dull. Um,

46:33

let's set fire to them. I also, they

46:36

didn't show this, but I threw the box of matches

46:38

into the fire and it went up an

46:40

absolute treat. Like it

46:43

was like a small, a small explosion

46:46

really. But I guess they didn't want children to think

46:48

about that or whoever, but it

46:50

was a lot of fun to do. Yeah, I bet. Weirdly,

46:53

I think so in quite an early, they

46:56

didn't do it in the UK one. I think they might've tried

46:58

it. They did have a task of,

47:01

it was a huge roll of bubble wrap of pop all

47:03

the bubbles as quickly as possible. I believe

47:05

they did it in a European version of Taskmaster

47:08

where they had the big, uh, and someone, someone

47:10

set fire to it, but the fumes were so noxious.

47:13

Like they basically had to evacuate the crew,

47:15

I think. Great.

47:20

But that's what's great about Taskmaster, right? You,

47:22

you are open to doing those sorts of things. Uh,

47:24

and certainly I think

47:26

you had a similar energy in this task,

47:28

uh, as I had when I did it, which is

47:30

when you were asked to get rid of the bin

47:32

rather than wheel the bin out or, you

47:35

know, try and get the bin out in any other sort of quieter

47:37

way. You thought, fuck it. What a great opportunity to chuck

47:39

a wheelie bin over a gate.

47:41

Yeah. And I hadn't really checked or

47:43

thought about it, but outside of there is pretty

47:46

much just a main road I'd

47:48

hardly been into endangering,

47:50

um, people, but, uh,

47:53

also I hurt my foot really

47:55

badly doing that. Cause I hadn't thought,

47:58

you know, they go throw your shoes on your

47:59

the roof. You could just throw them up and then get them

48:02

back again and

48:03

wear your shoes. I

48:05

hadn't really thought of that. So I was doing

48:07

it my bare feet and I kind of went over my ankle and

48:09

like gashed my foot.

48:12

That's part of it. I wish I'd approached more

48:14

of the tasks with fire looking back.

48:17

There's probably a bunch of stuff you could have set fire to.

48:19

That could have been your thing. Yeah,

48:21

the fire contestant. Is there any other tasks

48:23

that spring to mind now that you could

48:26

have solved with fire?

48:27

Most of the team tasks.

48:34

Yeah, that would have been your costume

48:36

just like a big kind of fireman's. Well,

48:43

look, Ivo would have thanked you while you were doing

48:45

that, I'd imagine. So

48:50

your efforts here were great, I think.

48:52

The banana thing, a little bit

48:55

controversial.

48:57

Jenny also removes her shoes and

48:59

just ends up walking around outside for ages trying

49:01

to find someone called John and then

49:04

just screaming. She doesn't have any shoes on. Same with Kyle

49:06

constantly talking about the

49:09

fact he doesn't have any shoes on. I mean, it's

49:11

a quite devious task, this one, in terms

49:13

of the amount of things you had to do. Did

49:16

you enjoy it or after a couple were

49:18

you like, I can't believe this. This is taking

49:20

too long.

49:22

I enjoyed it because I was like, well, I'm

49:24

doing these, like they're actually happening because

49:26

part of your panic in the thing is, you

49:29

know, you're presented with a task and you go, I've

49:31

absolutely no idea. Like I've absolutely

49:34

no idea what the hell do they want me to do here?

49:37

Like is anything going to happen? Whereas

49:39

these were all ones where you're like, oh, I just got to throw my shoes

49:41

onto a riff. Okay. One down, you

49:44

know, and it felt, it felt like I was getting somewhere

49:46

even though I wasn't.

49:48

Yeah. I see what you mean. They're like quantifiable

49:50

things that

49:51

can't really be judged by Greg

49:53

in any subjective way. Like

49:56

if you've done them, you've done them, right?

49:59

Looking back, I should have. have set fire to

50:01

the tree with the banana in it

50:03

and the taskmaster house. Would

50:08

have set in the tree. What would you have brought back

50:10

just the ashes of everything and then said, well, I see the

50:12

bananas in there.

50:14

Well, in many senses, the banana,

50:17

the banana would be in there, the same,

50:20

but our banana probably wouldn't burn

50:23

as

50:23

well. You know? Oh yeah.

50:26

So if you just bring back what's left and you probably

50:28

would have got the right banana.

50:30

If someone said, like someone pointed at

50:32

a tree and said to you, there's a sign

50:34

painted, a painted banana there, I wouldn't

50:37

say, and

50:39

some bananas, right? Yeah.

50:41

What would you bring back if they said, bring

50:44

me back the banana? Well, okay.

50:46

Well, just to go back to what you said there that

50:48

it's a painted, you said the sign was a painted

50:50

banana. It wasn't,

50:52

it was an arrow banana written on it.

50:56

Was it? Wasn't it a banana? Oh,

51:03

no, that's even clearer then because if

51:05

it's just the word banana, that's

51:08

the banana, because the

51:10

word banana is banana, you

51:13

know, it's much clearer than

51:15

if it was just the symbol. If it's just the

51:17

word banana, that's clearly the banana. Yeah.

51:20

If there were many bananas in the tree and

51:23

they said, bring back the banana, I would

51:25

then be confused as to what they wanted me to bring

51:27

back because there would

51:29

be multiple bananas. But as far as I'm aware, there was

51:31

only one banana in the tree that you were supposed to

51:33

be getting. So the banana that

51:35

would have brought back the fruit. You would have

51:37

brought back a banana because

51:41

there are many more bananas in the world. If you wanted

51:43

to bring back the banana, you would have brought back

51:46

the word banana, but there may be

51:48

many more bananas in the world. I don't think anyone's disputing

51:50

that Frankie, but I think there's only one

51:52

banana in that tree and it said, get the banana

51:54

down from the tree.

51:55

Here's another thing. Do you think

51:57

there's a single other sign in the world that simply

51:59

says banana? banana. Why would it?

52:01

There will be many, many that say bananas,

52:04

bananas for sale, but there's probably only

52:06

that one

52:07

that says banana. That is the banana.

52:11

Yeah, but would a chimp eat that

52:13

sign? That's the

52:15

last philosophical point I'm going to make. Would a chimp

52:17

eat that sign?

52:20

Well, you know, I

52:22

feel, you

52:23

know, not many viewers will support me

52:26

on the banana

52:28

thing, I'm going to betterly maintain

52:31

that.

52:32

Please. We wouldn't have it any other way.

52:35

May, surprisingly not great

52:37

at this. Really, I think sometimes

52:40

they overthink being exacting about things. So when

52:42

it comes to the bubble wrap, they

52:44

really spend a lot of time making sure every

52:46

single bubble is popped to make sure that

52:49

they don't fail the task. But

52:51

that's 20 minutes on the bubble wrap alone,

52:53

whereas you're dispatching with a bubble wrap in

52:56

two to three seconds with a big fire. Exactly.

52:58

Me

52:59

and Undresdant are the benefits of fire

53:01

throughout the series. Yeah,

53:06

as far as I know, I don't think May sets anything

53:08

on fire for the entire series. Not

53:10

great, is it?

53:11

Let's

53:14

talk about Ivo then, because this is, I mean,

53:16

this is, this is how I think Ivo

53:19

does his stand up gig diary. Just

53:21

total disorganized chaos opens all

53:24

of the tasks before he decides which he's

53:26

going to do first. And then to top

53:28

it all off,

53:29

I mean, there's loads of things to top it off. It's

53:31

the, it's when he has to, he's

53:34

like, fine, I'll go and sit in the shed for three minutes.

53:36

And he goes and sits in the caravan for three minutes.

53:40

Yeah, yeah,

53:42

I'd forgotten about that. It's baffling.

53:45

It's baffling. And we had Alex Horne on the podcast

53:47

a few weeks ago. And he actually foreshadowed this,

53:49

because it happens in a previous series where

53:51

people get a bit mixed up between the caravan and the

53:53

shed. And he said, yeah, that has happened. And then

53:55

that will happen in the next series. And

53:58

it's not like he remembers halfway through.

53:59

He literally goes into the caravan,

54:02

sits there for three minutes, comes back and says, right, I'm

54:04

done, I've sat in the shed. And Alex said,

54:06

have you sat in the shed? And you just see it dawn

54:08

on him. It takes far too long that

54:11

all the cogs were. And then he's like, oh

54:13

no, I've sat in the caravan by accident.

54:16

Incredible what Taskmaster can do to your brain.

54:19

It's exhausting to watch. That

54:22

was like more exhausting than having

54:25

a 15 minute argument about bananas.

54:29

The semiotics there all was

54:32

just watching Ivo's highlights. Yeah,

54:35

I mean, and then he finally finishes by

54:37

speaking to a man called John on

54:40

the phone, a family friend. How

54:42

lovely Ivo is.

54:44

The conversation goes on for so long. He

54:46

has to say line to finish the task, but

54:48

he just gets stuck in this protracted conversation. And

54:51

he's saying things like love to the boys, lovely

54:53

to hear your voice as well. I hope to catch up with you

54:55

soon. It just goes on for ages. I

54:58

think doesn't he offer to play in a charity cricket match or

55:00

that's where you need a bloke from or something. I

55:05

phoned up a guy called John. There wasn't a

55:07

John there, was there? In the area.

55:10

That's what

55:12

I phoned up this bloke called John who lives

55:14

next door. And I occasionally dogs it

55:16

for him. Yeah. But his

55:18

dogs are quite

55:21

traumatized.

55:22

And it's

55:25

a lot of fun, but he was baffled to hear from me.

55:27

But at least the conversation was

55:29

short. It was just hello, John, how are you? And

55:31

then pretty much done.

55:33

That's Scottish people. They're

55:36

quite glad that you hang up. They'd

55:39

rather have an air of mystery than a two

55:41

minute conversation. Yeah. Every

55:43

phone conversation with a Scottish person is like they're doing

55:46

a task for Taskmaster. Yeah,

55:48

pretty much. But then people don't phone anymore, do they?

55:52

No, I would struggle with phoning

55:55

someone because you just feel weird. Who phones anyone?

55:58

Yeah. Yeah. No,

56:00

thanks.

56:02

Ivo, two points. Beating

56:04

May somehow still, even though he

56:06

does every single task and

56:09

does a lot of them quite badly. It

56:11

was one point for May, three points for you,

56:13

Frankie, after the banana

56:15

discussion, three points for Kael, and

56:17

four points for Jenny. Nobody gets

56:20

five points because of the great

56:23

banana paradox, which will be written about for

56:25

centuries to come. So 63. We'll

56:28

complete a line. Every number will complete a line.

56:30

I'll sit in the shed. It's gone

56:32

terribly.

56:43

I think that was three minutes, but I didn't have a way

56:45

of measuring it. So you sat in the shed for three minutes?

56:47

Yeah. You sure?

56:52

Oh my gosh. I

56:55

sat in a caravan. I'm

56:57

calling my dad's friend and my former

56:59

doctor. Oh, hello, Jonathan.

57:01

I'm so sorry. I've rung you by accident. I do apologize.

57:05

It was lovely to hear you too. I'd um...

57:10

Oh, terrific. Oh,

57:15

right. You must shout line

57:17

when you're finished. Um,

57:20

have a lovely weekend. Give my best to the boys. Bye.

57:23

Line!

57:29

Let's talk about the live tasks. Did you

57:31

enjoy the live tasks in general?

57:33

Yeah, it was good to have something at the end.

57:36

Do

57:36

you know what I mean? That you felt you could get

57:38

out your chair and um

57:40

be degraded in some way. This

57:46

one was pretty degrading all round. It was pour your sound

57:48

into the other bottle. Slows to pour their sound

57:50

into the other bottle wins. You must pour your sound

57:53

from at least a foot above your other bottle. If there

57:55

is a break in your sand stream, you are disqualified.

57:58

Um, not many notes for this one.

57:59

because everyone gets disqualified.

58:02

Hmm.

58:03

So difficult to care, isn't it? I

58:05

don't know if you've ever, if

58:07

you've ever poured sand from one object

58:09

to another and had people monitor

58:12

it frame by frame, but you'd

58:14

imagine at some point, uh, you, you

58:16

know, you might stop pouring the old sand. Um, is

58:20

that what happened then? Do you think your hands just stopped being

58:22

interested? And that's why you stopped pouring the sand.

58:25

I think my mind just shut down. Um, I

58:28

did pour the sand into the thing, but not

58:31

at the required rate.

58:34

But also if you're going to have it frame

58:36

by frame,

58:37

you're going to find what it should be is

58:39

like an observer, you know, some

58:42

person, and perhaps we should be able to

58:44

distract them in some way. You

58:46

know, as you say, a chimp, um,

58:49

or, or something that would be trained to attack us if

58:51

we, if we broke the stream

58:53

or something,

58:54

you know, but this frame by frame thing

58:57

is a high standard.

58:59

So you'd want, you'd want like a sort of, um,

59:01

violent punishment for people who broke, broke

59:03

their stream like a, like an angry chimp

59:06

or something. An angry chimp, an Alsatian,

59:08

um, just members

59:11

of the public who don't enjoy

59:13

the show, you know,

59:15

I don't think they exist, Frankie. So we'd have a

59:18

hard time finding them. Um, at

59:20

some point, I think it was in this episode or a previous

59:23

episode where you just said to Greg,

59:25

oh, maybe you're just jaded by the entire concept

59:27

of the show. It's

59:30

got to get you after a while, hasn't it? It's

59:34

rarely, it's rarely a viewpoint

59:36

they have on Taskmaster where someone will just

59:38

cut through and say something like that, but it's so

59:40

needed, I think.

59:42

And, and you know, Greg doesn't

59:45

burst with Schweider Vivre. Sometimes

59:50

he, sometimes he does something

59:52

really well. You can see that excitement

59:55

in him for sure. But otherwise, yeah, he, uh, he's

59:57

a Taskmaster. He's got to, he's got to roll the nine.

59:59

if Greg was allowed a few drinks

1:00:02

before the record, you know, you

1:00:04

should have a different, maybe at Christmas you

1:00:06

have a three drinks Taskmaster and

1:00:09

I think he would be a much more joyful, there'd

1:00:12

be a lot more points to find about.

1:00:14

Or angrier, you never know. Yeah,

1:00:18

it could go the other way. It could be really violent

1:00:21

and sad. I

1:00:24

when I did it, because obviously it's two episodes a night, they

1:00:27

would, you'd go and have dinner after the first episode,

1:00:29

and then I'd always have a little glass of red

1:00:31

and then maybe a glass of red during the record. So you

1:00:34

can really see in the episodes in

1:00:37

my series when I'm

1:00:39

doing the second episode of the day.

1:00:41

I would have some Haribo, which

1:00:44

is my version of the same thing. So

1:00:48

can you tell when you watch these episodes that, oh yeah, I've

1:00:50

had a few Haribo then.

1:00:53

Yeah, that must be nice. I remember

1:00:56

when I used to do panel shows way back in the day, they'd give

1:00:58

you a red boo. Like it goes

1:01:00

beyond your desk. That's not the best thing for

1:01:03

being funny, is it? I'm anxious

1:01:05

and I'm worried my heart might stop.

1:01:07

I don't know that makes me funnier.

1:01:10

What's it, I'm not the way with,

1:01:12

was that what was in your mug?

1:01:14

Yeah, there was always one under the desk

1:01:16

when you came on. There was always a banana

1:01:18

and a red boo and that was what was in your mug. Yeah, red

1:01:21

boo. Oh, they stopped that by the time I

1:01:23

got there.

1:01:24

It was, they'd offer you that,

1:01:27

but I'd always have water and Hugh's

1:01:29

always got some sort of ale in his mug.

1:01:32

Good for you. They

1:01:35

used to say that, like, used to say

1:01:37

it was like really competitive and stuff, but I would argue

1:01:39

that the person who made the show competitive

1:01:42

is whoever came up with an idea of six

1:01:44

people at a microphone to

1:01:46

try to be the first to tell a joke. And

1:01:51

giving everyone a red boo. Yeah, and

1:01:53

I'd given everyone a red boo that they hadn't asked for. I

1:01:55

wonder if that tallies up when they said, oh,

1:01:57

the atmosphere changed a bit. It used to be more competitive.

1:01:59

do you think it's just the time they stop putting a Red Bull

1:02:02

under everyone's desk? Yes, I think that

1:02:04

would be a big factor. But also I get, as

1:02:06

after a bunch of, like at first

1:02:08

people are always like, oh, is this going to get re-commissioned and

1:02:10

they're all trying really hard. And

1:02:13

trying very hard isn't very funny, is

1:02:15

it?

1:02:15

You know, and sort of not trying is often funnier.

1:02:18

Yeah, probably. They just chilled out a bit.

1:02:21

Yeah, I'm sure that's it.

1:02:28

Thank you very much, Frankie, for coming on to the

1:02:30

Taskmaster podcast. Thank you. This episode

1:02:33

obviously ended with a win for Jenny. Third

1:02:35

place for you, 12 points, serviceable

1:02:38

performance, some excellent tasks from you and no

1:02:40

need to get up on the stage and point at all the prizes.

1:02:43

Serviceable, it's what we aim for. I

1:02:49

think that's, you shoot for that and then

1:02:51

you don't have to get up at the end. I think now

1:02:54

we know your system in Taskmaster.

1:02:56

I feel like this was truly a victory for you in this episode.

1:02:59

Yeah, I had fun, man. Of course,

1:03:01

we always ask our guests on the Taskmaster podcast

1:03:03

to rate their experience on the Taskmaster

1:03:05

podcast between one and five points in the

1:03:08

style of the Taskmaster. We've loved having

1:03:10

you here, Frankie, but please an honest points appraisal

1:03:13

for your recording today, please.

1:03:15

Which is the highest? Five

1:03:17

points the highest in the style of the Taskmaster.

1:03:20

You really weren't concentrating. Five

1:03:24

points.

1:03:26

Thank you very

1:03:28

much. I appreciate that. Thank you so much for coming

1:03:30

on the Taskmaster podcast, Frankie.

1:03:32

Thanks for having me, man. Great to speak to you. You

1:03:34

too. Cheers. Have a good day.

1:03:40

Thank you so much to Frankie for coming on. That was

1:03:42

an absolute joy, an absolute delight.

1:03:45

I think we can all agree Frankie is absolutely fantastic

1:03:47

on this series. We can't wait to see

1:03:49

more of him, which you can do next

1:03:51

week. Tune into channel four, 9pm for

1:03:54

Taskmaster series 15, episode five,

1:03:56

and then straight after listen to the podcast

1:03:58

about that episode where the guest will be,

1:04:01

Ivo Graham. That's right, we are rattling

1:04:03

through current contestants. Ivo

1:04:06

is absolutely fantastic on this series. A

1:04:08

lot of ups and downs for that boy, as I

1:04:10

expected. He's a dear friend of mine.

1:04:13

I cannot wait to catch up with him. It's gonna

1:04:15

be an absolute belter of an episode. So tune

1:04:17

back in at 10 p.m.

1:04:19

to your podcast, Apps, to listen

1:04:21

to us discuss Series 15, Episode 5, with

1:04:24

Ivo Graham. But for now, thank you very much to Frankie

1:04:26

Boyle, and thank you very much to you. We'll see you

1:04:28

next week.

1:04:30

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