0:01

from your workout playlist to your social media

0:03

feed. Personal's the way to go. And

0:06

if personal leads to an affordable price, even

0:08

better. With a State Farm personal price

0:10

plan, you get the coverage you want at an affordable

0:12

price just for you and a policy that helps

0:15

cover what's most important to you. Like

0:17

a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Call or

0:20

go to statefarm.com today to create your State

0:22

Farm personal price plan. Prices

0:24

vary by state. Options selected by customer.

0:27

Availability and eligibility may vary.

0:44

Hello, hello, and welcome to the Taskmaster

0:47

podcast. It is, of course, new

0:49

series time. We are on episode 2

0:51

of series 16.

0:53

What an episode it was. What a cast

0:55

this is. Oh, man, it's already

0:57

brilliant. And there's so much more to come.

1:01

I can't wait. We are talking this week about episode 2

1:05

to a man who was there, the wonderful Sam Campbell. He

1:08

will be on the Taskmaster podcast. Just

1:10

to let you know, I'm recording this intro after we've

1:12

recorded the episode. And that episode

1:14

was recorded in person for the first ever

1:16

time in the history of Taskmaster podcast.

1:19

We were there in person.

1:22

We weren't there. We weren't at the studio. We

1:24

were sat there with microphones. And Sam was in front of me. They've

1:27

always been on Zoom up until this point. So

1:29

it was a lot of fun to do one in person.

1:31

But what a feeling to be in a room with Sam. He specifically

1:33

asked for it. I think we might get into

1:36

that during the episode. But

1:38

yeah, a lot of fun to see those cheeky little

1:40

eyes close up as we were recording.

1:43

But let's get into it. This is Taskmaster series 16, episode 2,

1:47

as discussed by Sam Campbell.

1:59

The first time I've ever recorded one of

2:02

these in person with a guest we're

2:04

well over a hundred episodes now always been

2:06

on zoom started in lockdown and Never

2:08

has you wanted to see me in the flesh. Well,

2:11

I mean, it's a pleasure to see you in the flesh Of course, you

2:13

wanted to truly experience it to witness

2:15

me And it is I get

2:17

it. I get it. Yes. Well, thank you. But also

2:19

I will let the listener know that it was at your Insistence

2:23

that we record it in person I don't know. Yeah, I

2:25

don't really like to get it to in the weeds with who requested

2:28

Sure, but I'm in the weeds already. So I'll just shout from

2:30

the weeds. Yeah, you stay on the riverbank. That's fine

2:32

by me Yeah Maybe

2:35

up on some yeah, maybe up on a bridge Ethan

2:40

No, no, we're just kidding guys. Yes, so so

2:43

Sam insisted on this But the original the

2:45

original message that reached me is that you specifically

2:48

wanted to come to my house to record it

2:51

Yeah, so can we get deeper into that? Why

2:53

I wanted to go to your house Why

2:56

did you want to go my motivation for that

2:58

was I wanted to go to your house Yeah, okay.

3:01

So say that that did happen, but that's not happened

3:03

because we're in we're in Avalon Avalon

3:06

fortress Yeah, the fortress. Yeah

3:09

Couldn't happen at my house

3:11

wife works from home cat works from home

3:13

too much going on. Yeah, that works Yeah, my cat

3:15

works from home

3:16

actually doesn't work our regular thing. We say

3:18

to our cat is get a job and you still you still Haven't

3:20

done it. Oh, wow lazy

3:23

boy But if you

3:25

had come to my house, what would you have

3:27

done? In if I had if

3:29

I had infiltrated your home, yeah,

3:32

I would have snooped around Just

3:34

taking it all there that admired it. You'd probably live

3:36

in some sort of mansion. So I would have loved it Very

3:38

normal house, but you would have been incredibly

3:40

let down. Would you've taken any trinkets? No,

3:43

no, no, no, no, no Leave

3:45

nothing but footprints take nothing but memory That's

3:50

actually the poster in our bathroom is it really

3:52

oh, I'd like to get in there Well,

3:55

you're well, that's what I would have done I would have said I was going

3:57

to the toilet, but I would just lay it in your bath in

3:59

your empty bathtub for 40 minutes.

4:03

Well look you're welcome to come over socially anytime

4:05

you like. When would that

4:09

be? Let's pencil something in.

4:11

We'll do that. We'll edit that bit out but it means

4:13

we're going to pencil in a social occasion now.

4:16

Even if you're more comfortable we could break bread,

4:18

we could go to a restaurant and then if that went well then

4:20

I could come to your house at another time. Okay it's

4:22

starting to sound like a lovely date though. Sort of.

4:32

Right well let's talk about Taskmaster because of course

4:34

you're on the new series of Taskmaster. Yes. Very

4:36

excited to see when you were announced for the new series

4:39

of Taskmaster. How did you feel when they asked you to do

4:41

it? When they asked me?

4:43

When they asked you? Just saw dollar signs.

4:48

We've

4:51

bleached the amount that Sam said there but

4:54

yes that is I believe how much. So just

4:56

the dollar signs?

4:57

Oh yeah and just to be part of it you know

4:59

sort of

5:01

it's kind of yeah getting called up to the big leagues

5:03

you know. Yes. I've been division two, I've been in the fucking

5:05

sewers in the wilderness for so long and

5:08

they're like yeah you're ready we want to see you. I'd

5:10

imagine the producers of Australian Taskmaster

5:12

were kicking themselves when you got. I'm trying

5:14

to do that one. Are you going to try and do that one too? Yeah.

5:17

Do you reckon that's going to work out? They re... well

5:19

who knows? Yeah. They said they said

5:21

it could be a go up. So you'll be the first

5:23

contestant to cross the borders into

5:26

another international version of Taskmaster. Yeah.

5:28

That would be amazing man. It could upset people and

5:30

it could delight people. Yeah. Did you

5:32

have a good time doing Taskmaster? Yeah.

5:35

Have you watched a lot of it before? I'd

5:37

seen a lot of Taskmaster Indonesia

5:40

and a lot of Taskmaster Czech Republic. Yeah.

5:43

So yeah I hadn't seen the UK one but I've seen a lot of the other ones.

5:46

Who's your favourite contestant from Taskmaster Czech

5:48

Republic? That's a great question. I like

5:50

Leopold. Why

5:54

do you like Leopold so much? Oh what he did with

5:56

that long bit of piece.

5:59

of metal was just amazing

6:01

in that task. Absolutely.

6:04

Millions of hits on YouTube. Or as they

6:06

call it in the general.

6:10

Yeah, that's the hole you dug yourself and then you just stated

6:12

the hole. Yeah. We're

6:15

going to be talking about episode two, Hell

6:17

is Here. But beforehand, I've got

6:19

to say, Sam,

6:21

what a great episode one. Oh,

6:22

thanks for the time. What a stunning episode one

6:24

from you. Now, I don't mean this to

6:26

be offensive, but when I was excited when you announced

6:29

Taskmaster, but I thought

6:31

you would be

6:32

chaotic, which you have been so far, but

6:35

it's very focused chaos. You

6:37

do seem to want to do well in the tasks.

6:40

You're not throwing, you're not throwing anything away for

6:42

the sake of a joke at the moment. Right? I'm

6:45

talking about the tin can task and tying

6:47

everyone's hair together. Yeah. Genius.

6:51

I think both of those kind of landed in my lap and

6:53

I just kind of sort of got lucky. One, I was blindfolded

6:55

and then one they hadn't announced. They didn't say

6:57

like, we're going to be doing this with the hair. The hair just

7:00

struck me. Yes. But it

7:02

didn't fall into your lap. You stood there and you thought

7:04

about the idea and you thought about the get round

7:06

and then you came up with that, which I thought was very impressive.

7:09

Oh, thank you so much. Yeah. And I've got

7:12

a beautiful mind. Exactly. A beautiful

7:14

mind. That's exactly what I'd say. But

7:16

let's talk about episode two. I've

7:18

got notes from the producer here. The producer sends me notes.

7:21

Which one? Daisy. Oh,

7:23

Daisy. The podcast producer. Oh yeah. Not one of

7:25

the five Andy's. No, not one of the five Andy's.

7:28

Does that show have enough Andy's on the production

7:32

here? And Daisy

7:34

said here, probably the contestant that's got the most

7:36

reaction from podcast guests when the lineup

7:38

was announced. So when we had, when

7:40

we had guests on and we were talking about the future

7:43

lineup, a lot of our guests were like, Oh,

7:45

Sam Campbell's on it. It doesn't say here whether the reaction

7:47

was positive or negative. Yeah. Yeah.

7:50

It's just, I guess in a way, I don't, I

7:52

mean, I wouldn't see myself belonging

7:54

in this world. Taskmaster

7:57

or, or the, uh, it's

7:59

like

7:59

I

8:00

guess if we're talking fruit as

8:02

an example, you've got banana, pineapple,

8:04

apple, whatever, one

8:07

that you're just like, I've never even heard of that one. Are

8:10

you going to give an example or is it so... Like a

8:12

rambutan or a lomin. Or

8:14

a husked tomorillo. You

8:19

know what, these ones where you're like, oh, Division 2 fruits, where

8:21

you're just like, yeah, I've never heard of that one. Dragon

8:24

fruit? Is that all? Dragon

8:26

fruit, yeah. Dragon fruit, the weird looking ones. When you

8:28

heard... What's that supposed to mean? Are you having

8:31

a go at my exposed

8:33

gums? Watching these episodes back, I was like, how much? I've

8:35

never knew that. It's like the same amount,

8:38

like my gum length, like

8:40

it's insane. Do you think? Yeah, I've got

8:42

really exposed gums and really thin wrists.

8:46

I think you need to be careful with that sort of stuff. Watching

8:49

yourself back on TV and trying to pick out what you

8:51

consider to be physical flaws. You're a lovely

8:53

looking boy. I look disgusting. Some

8:55

people have a good poker face, so I've got a disgusting

8:57

Magic the Gathering face. I

9:02

think if you can see your gums, it's because you're giving a cheeky

9:04

smile, Sam, and we like your cheeky smile. Yeah.

9:07

There's a lot of cheeky smiles on this. Yeah.

9:10

From you. I found it all

9:11

really funny. What

9:15

I would say as well is when I heard the rest of the

9:17

lineup, I was like, Sam's going to be the

9:19

wild one. And then you

9:22

sat next to Lucy Beaumont. Yeah. Lucy's

9:26

insane. Yes. It's

9:28

like she's from another planet as well. You're from another

9:30

planet, but your planet is closer to Earth, I'd

9:32

say. Oh, can we get

9:35

a diagram of the planets up? Well,

9:37

I would be Mars and she'd be what, Neptune? Yeah,

9:39

probably. Oh, yeah, great. When

9:43

the rest of the lineup was announced. But happy to share a solar

9:45

system with all of the incredible cast.

9:50

Who did you think was going to be your biggest competitor?

9:52

My Jupiter would have to be Sue Perkins

9:56

easily. Yeah. He was nasty,

9:58

man. We

10:00

got, when we were asking people- You know what she said when I arrived?

10:03

What? She goes, I'm an institution

10:05

and you're about to be institutionalised. That

10:07

does sound like Perkins. She would say something like that.

10:10

Let's crack on with talking about- What were you saying? Sorry, I interrupted.

10:13

No, I was just, no, the biggest competitor. But

10:15

I think when we were interviewing people and telling them

10:17

the line-up, a lot of them thought Perkins,

10:20

Perkins for the win, because she sprayed together.

10:23

Yeah, Brainiac

10:26

has just been around. She is

10:27

TV and people

10:30

simply love her.

10:44

Let's talk about the prize task for this, episode

10:46

two of this series of Taskmaster.

10:49

Best sign, did you enjoy

10:51

doing the prize task, Sam? The opening treasures,

10:54

yes. Is that what you call them? Yeah,

10:56

I thought, yeah, I had some help from this guy,

10:59

Luke Smith, one of the production team. He helped

11:01

me. Well, he- Now, I'm

11:03

thinking particularly about the one you brought in

11:06

for episode one, was

11:08

the Pinocchio. Yeah. I

11:11

mean, that is very you prize, I'd

11:13

say. Pinocchio. Who built

11:16

the Pinocchio? It was a collab. It

11:18

was a collab with- With Luke Smith.

11:21

You can't just be on the actual show, you can't be like,

11:23

and a big shout out to Luke Smith

11:25

for helping me out with this

11:26

one. You've got to just roll with it. Yes. But

11:29

yeah, he helped me with those. Yeah, very, very impressive. A

11:31

little bit easier, this one, I guess. Not too much

11:33

of a build on this one, because it's best sign. You

11:37

brought in a sign from the British Library saying,

11:39

please take care, Piazza Slippery. Yeah.

11:45

How did that one occur to you? Did you just- Is that

11:47

one you'd- Were you looking for interesting

11:49

signs when you were told the price

11:51

to us, or was that in your

11:54

photo gallery? I go to the British

11:56

Library almost every day. Yes. And

11:59

you just picked up the sign. up on that when you were looking for signs?

12:01

Yeah, I just that one just I know

12:03

of it. I always I see it almost every day. So I thought

12:06

well, yeah, there's no better sign. Yeah, I suppose

12:08

it's the piazza is always slippery, then that signs

12:10

always there. It's a lippery. Yeah. Yeah. They've

12:13

had they've had slips. Yeah,

12:15

and there was a big discussion. They cut a lot of stuff.

12:17

They cut this big discussion of what technically

12:20

like a piazza is and what differentiates

12:22

it differentiates it from a courtyard.

12:24

And there was like a massive in studio, but they

12:26

had to cut it because the audience applause is to thunder.

12:30

People getting too excited and riled up

12:32

and people were trembling and running around

12:35

and screaming. I can't believe they cut the

12:37

discussion of whether this was going to be out through a courtyard.

12:39

That sounds like golden television. Yeah. You're

12:42

very good at selling the prizes, I think. Do you really

12:44

think so? Yeah, I think so. Well, like, because

12:46

if this is a tricky task, I'd say best sign.

12:49

Like, obviously, Susan won, you

12:51

know, pretty like not route

12:53

one, but like, if someone says bring in best

12:56

sign to me, I'm like, I'm going to find a route. Oh,

12:58

you mean Susan Wachoma? Yes. I think that's

13:00

super. Pretty route one, a painting by an

13:02

ape. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

13:05

totally. Yeah. Smiley. This was

13:07

foul. This was disgusting. Cock pond. Yeah.

13:09

Yeah. Cock pond on clap and common. I

13:11

mean, I did enjoy it. And really, yeah,

13:13

get your mind out of the gutter. Well, the thing is completely

13:16

foul. Well, she got four points from

13:18

Greg. I think she got five. I think she won. No,

13:20

she got four points. Shit. Sue

13:23

Perkins. This wasn't the eighth one. Sue Perkins

13:26

got five for the sign from BBC Studios.

13:28

What's the one where there was an edu- painting by an ape?

13:31

Yeah, that was in the last episode, the painting by

13:33

an ape. Oh, that wasn't a sign. That could have

13:35

been a sign though, I guess. Yeah. What would

13:37

it be a sign for though? Um,

13:40

yeah, just like, what

13:42

signs would ape have? Just

13:47

yeah, maybe like their version of live life love.

13:50

Yeah. Should be, you know, climb,

13:54

creep, capture,

13:57

capture. Absolutely.

13:59

I

14:02

think

14:02

you are very good at selling them. Like Piazza Slippery

14:04

and then telling us about the Europeans by Piazza

14:07

Slippery. Oh yeah. Yeah, I feel

14:09

like you could really, you could flesh that out

14:11

into a sort of short story. Yeah.

14:14

Short story series of Piazza Slippery. Cott

14:17

Pond was good though and the sign from before the

14:19

studios... That was just disgusting. What they sold,

14:21

or Cott Pond. Yeah, the series in general I

14:23

found was really groppy. Yeah. I'm

14:26

only going to be watching back the pre-watershed stuff because

14:28

I thought really there was a lot of that. Well

14:31

there are some moments where, I mean

14:33

we'll talk about this on the podcast

14:35

with other people, but there are moments where some groppy stuff

14:37

happened and you looked absolutely

14:40

affronted. Yeah. Well

14:42

I don't just think it is a public,

14:43

you know, people are watching this stuff. Yeah.

14:46

In private do whatever, you know, shine a torch through your nutsack,

14:48

have fun. But don't, you

14:51

know, this is a family show. Yeah.

14:55

What if the task was shine a torch through your nutsack? Would

14:57

you do it for the points? Ah, I've

15:00

got a very thick scrotum. Don't

15:03

cut that or make it really quiet.

15:05

Do something with that. Yeah, don't cut it but

15:07

just quiet and just do something with

15:09

that. Sorry. Yeah,

15:11

I mean this throws forward, you

15:14

asked to be cut out of the next task actually

15:17

to be blurred out. Yeah, these

15:19

editors, they're really wizards. I

15:21

didn't know that that was an option otherwise I would have done that multiple

15:23

times when I read the series. Yeah. I'm

15:26

so eager to, you know, they've been doing it for 16 series,

15:29

people are so checked out. It's so,

15:31

like they love like any kind of, if

15:33

you want to make like a short film or anything like

15:35

that, I think they really jump into a particular scene. They

15:38

do, they absolutely love doing that. So you've got three

15:40

points for Piazza Slippery, four

15:42

points for Susan's Cockpond and I'm so sorry to bring

15:44

it up again Sam because I know you found it very offensive. No,

15:47

I love that stuff. Five

15:49

points for Sue, she stole

15:52

a sign from BBC Studio. Yeah, this is her using

15:54

her industry connections. This

15:56

is a very manipulative, very calculating

15:58

person. I don't think it's interesting. Connections,

16:01

isn't it a winkle men? She had a winkle

16:02

man on you. Winkle man gave her a

16:05

leg up to steal a sign Winkle

16:07

men leg up. I mean, that's the most yeah, it's a winkle

16:09

man leg up Have you met winkle

16:11

man? I met winkle man. You've met everyone. It's your

16:14

life's a fairy tale winkle If

16:16

I could I would trade my life with yours in a heartbeat.

16:19

Is this why you wanted to come to my house? Are you

16:21

gonna start squatting? Next

16:23

round, please Lucy

16:27

brought in the pub sign from her home pub

16:30

the dog and bastard. Hmm I think

16:32

if you got a home pub, you need to get a better sign than that

16:35

What did you think of that sign? It looked like it'd be made on a

16:37

I like the way English people every pub

16:39

is called Like the frog and biscuit or the

16:42

you know, the the rat and the pig and

16:44

it will some or it's multiple things It's like the four

16:46

Kings like it's either for something

16:48

or two different things There's a

16:51

pub quite near to my house where

16:53

the mad lady runs it has

16:55

replaced the pub sign with a full-color photo

16:57

of herself Fantastic

17:02

she DJ's every Friday really plays a vinyl

17:04

records and

17:05

and if people turn the ask it to turn the music

17:07

down she shouts at them

17:12

It was two points for the dog and bastard sign

17:14

I kind of like that the dog and bastard

17:16

sign Yeah, I thought

17:19

it was nice I like the image of their home pub

17:21

yeah, yeah, I want to go there so bad Yeah,

17:24

but you've got a thing about wanting to go to people's houses Out

17:28

of everyone on this taskmaster lineup

17:30

now obviously I'm not included in this

17:32

because I wasn't on the lineup But you want to come to my house? We know

17:34

that whose house do you most want to go to Julian

17:37

query? He is elegant.

17:39

He is velvety is sophisticated

17:41

Did you think everything he said

17:44

was like just amazing he's just amazing yeah, he's amazing

17:46

He's absolutely incredible obviously won the prize task. What do

17:48

you call him effortless? Totally

17:51

well yes on many different levels.

17:53

Yeah as in he's effortlessly funny. Yeah,

17:56

and also within the lot of the time tasks

18:00

he put in no effort whatsoever. Yeah

18:02

but just not yeah I was really

18:04

just yeah it's so impressed.

18:07

Did you know much of Julian's work before? Yeah

18:10

I'd seen him on YouTube his like famous

18:12

clip that's so funny. The

18:15

fisting Norman Lamont yeah yeah absolutely.

18:18

That's amazing people I mean everyone's probably watch that

18:20

surely but that's the biggest laugh I've ever heard

18:23

like you know yeah watch it like the

18:25

crowd just goes so googah. Yes

18:27

the British comedy awards back in the day

18:30

and he said sorry I'm late I'm just been fisting Norman Lamont

18:33

and my favorite bit of that clip is

18:35

they cut to Martin Clunes and

18:37

I spent a long time working on an impression of Martin

18:39

Clunes face. It

18:43

probably won't make sense for the listener but here it

18:45

is.

18:46

Oh wow can we get

18:48

a grab of that? That needs to be up to

18:51

him. How can we put that?

18:53

Yeah I'm obsessed with that absolutely

18:56

obsessed with it. That's amazing. But we should talk about

18:58

Julian because he only gets one point. Yeah I've watched so many of his

19:00

clips he's like amazing. Yeah if any of them

19:02

undergrew here as well. I think he is huge in Australia

19:04

yeah yeah I think he was like called the

19:06

patron saint of the Adelaide Fringe at some stage.

19:09

Is that an award they give out of the Adelaide Fringe? I don't know I think

19:11

they just like yeah we just love him.

19:14

He's done a lot of stuff in Australia. He's

19:17

a star. He

19:20

got one point here though so not particularly

19:22

starry starts this episode a sign from

19:24

the green room at the whole literary festival that just says food

19:26

for artists. I think I

19:29

wasn't immediately sort of taken

19:31

aback or laughing at that because I've seen so many

19:33

signs like that in my career. Like that is

19:35

every backstage everywhere just with some

19:38

bananas and you're supposed to be grateful to get a banana.

19:40

Yeah but I liked that it showed people like

19:42

this is what it's really like out there. Yeah it's not

19:44

very glamorous. Yeah absolutely but

19:47

not a good sign. Don't you find that

19:49

there's a lot of stuff that is just seems like a simulation

19:51

of something like if you go around the back it's

19:54

hollow you know like tell me more. Just

19:56

feel like a lot of social contracts are being broken

19:59

and just things are falling apart.

20:01

Is this your branch out into political

20:03

material? This

20:07

is the big turn on this. Do you ever feel like we'll have a simulation?

20:10

No. Okay. It's

20:15

not a great sign he brought in, but

20:17

I like the chat and I like the story. Yeah. But

20:20

it was one point for him, two points for Lucy, three points

20:22

for Yousam, four points for Susan and five

20:24

points for Sue. A

20:26

few years

20:27

ago I was like, oh, I was born in London,

20:29

but I don't really know London. So then

20:31

I started going on London Walk, which

20:33

is when you wake up really early on a Sunday

20:36

and you follow normally a jaded

20:38

actor around bits of London

20:41

and there is a walking tour where you go

20:43

and look at dirty signs

20:46

around London. And

20:48

this is one of my favourites because I'm a child,

20:51

apparently.

20:51

Yeah. Yeah. I

20:53

like Cockpom. I can quote me on that.

20:58

Task one, pull the sword from the stone.

21:00

You may not force the sword or break the stone. The champion

21:03

is the one who releases the sword fastest. Your time

21:05

starts now. I'm really

21:07

angry about this task.

21:09

Oh.

21:11

Because obviously the answer was Whiddicom. Yeah.

21:13

So they've picked a former champion to be

21:15

the password to release the sword from the stone.

21:18

Yeah. And it's not me. Oh.

21:22

Well, yeah. What are you, the narcissist obsessed

21:24

with yourself when I look in the mirror all the time? Yes.

21:27

Yeah.

21:27

Whiddicom makes sense.

21:29

Yeah. I actually look first champion,

21:31

champion of champions, a lot of clues there, a lot

21:33

of good clues that sort of link back to his name. But

21:36

I was very grateful you at least said my name.

21:38

I do. Yeah. And

21:40

I was happy with that. Glad I got a shout out. Your

21:42

name is never too far from my lips. It's

21:44

always balancing on my target. You

21:47

brought a tape measure with you to this. Yeah.

21:51

How often did you bring your own tools to the tasks? I did

21:53

a few times. My friend, he became

21:56

the assistant on Taskmaster Australia, Tom Cashman.

21:58

Yes.

21:59

of the house. Alex Horns, seriously,

22:03

he said, yeah, no one's ever bought any stuff.

22:05

They're allowed to. That's what I would do if I was on the show.

22:09

Did the tools ever come in handy? I mean, don't ruin anything

22:11

for future episodes, but did you ever get a chance to...

22:14

Nah, no, gadgets were a mistake. I'd

22:16

have to carry them home each night. Yeah.

22:20

You attacked this task pretty well, though, I think. Although

22:22

you didn't do great time wise, but I think you're

22:25

very good at just throwing yourself into things.

22:27

You got that there was

22:29

a champion missing, claimed

22:31

that the whole task was two inside baseball.

22:34

Yeah. Did you find that at all? Like,

22:35

if you were a first time viewer, you'd be like,

22:37

who are these people? You know, what is this? A snake eating

22:40

its tail? I feel like I'm so inside

22:42

the baseball and the snake. You love it. I love how much

22:44

you love it. And you even text me about it. You'll be

22:46

like, Taskmaster. Yeah. Yeah. As soon as I saw

22:48

the first episode of Taxi, you'd say how good you were. Yeah.

22:51

You're nice. Yeah. I heard that. Yeah. You think. I explore.

22:53

I explore. And

22:57

this is the task where you asked to be blurred out because you didn't

22:59

deserve to exist. Which

23:02

they did. They did. Did you

23:05

find yourself getting quite down during any tasks

23:07

like that? Because that was you seem quite sad during that one

23:09

that you weren't doing it quickly.

23:10

No, I know. I had only

23:12

one day that was just a true disaster. But

23:14

I think that was, yeah, you know, you just, yeah.

23:17

You pull yourself through. Yeah. Most of them I really

23:19

enjoyed each day. So you, I

23:21

think you texted James Acaster

23:23

after that day because he said, Sam's really worried about a day.

23:25

He's just sat on Taskmaster. What

23:28

the hell?

23:30

Network of spies over here. I think I didn't.

23:33

What about Network of spies? Right. Well, just, I didn't

23:35

want to bring this up. You were texting Acaster the whole

23:37

time in Melbourne saying I'm staying in the same hotel as Ed

23:40

Gamble. Got

23:41

this stuff. I don't know that. I don't

23:43

know him. I don't

23:44

know you. I don't know him. So

23:51

did worse than you. She manages

23:53

to name every country. You're not allowed to text people? moment

24:00

that Sue has when she says Widdicombe for the first

24:02

time out loud and then just stares off into the... Yeah that

24:05

was amazing. Absolutely phenomenal and

24:07

takes a while for those cogs to wear but

24:10

she gets it, everyone gets it eventually which

24:12

is impressive because I think there'll be some

24:14

other people who've been on Taskmastery and absolutely never get

24:16

that. She gets it in 33 minutes 23 seconds. Do you know what we got a

24:21

WhatsApp group of everyone who was on the show?

24:23

This is good I like to hear it. And the profile picture

24:26

is Elizabeth Taylor because everyone said

24:28

that Sue Perkins looks like Elizabeth Taylor.

24:30

How does Sue Perkins feel about that? I

24:32

think she likes it yeah. What's

24:35

the... The photos Elizabeth Taylor

24:37

what's the group called if you don't mind me asking? Oh have a

24:39

check. Yeah have a look. Does it change quite a lot?

24:42

The name hasn't changed and guess

24:45

what I'm the admin but you didn't see that coming.

24:47

Ed? What's that?

24:51

Hold on a second. Sorry.

24:55

Taskmaster 16 crew. No right

24:57

okay. Yeah so here's some stuff

24:59

pretty nice. Yeah. Lovely. Yeah.

25:04

Is it quite active? Yeah

25:05

man look at all these messages it's

25:08

vibrant.

25:09

It's gonna kick off as well when now the

25:11

show is broadcasting I think. Yeah that's

25:14

all our water bottles that we got. So

25:16

hang on quite a lot of black and white photos. My phone is in

25:18

black and white photos. You

25:22

can put your phone in black and white if you don't want to be controlled

25:25

by it. Sue

25:29

does worse than you like I say she does it for

25:31

over a minute longer than you. Lucy

25:33

pretty close as well 28 minutes. Here's

25:36

something I'm still trying to work out Sam. When

25:39

Lucy sees the sword and the stone and

25:41

all of the clues she says she feels like

25:43

she's in Dubai. Yeah. Any idea

25:45

why? Is that something they have

25:47

at the Dubai airport or something? I don't think

25:50

so.

25:51

Yeah

25:52

well yeah she's like on another plane but I yeah

25:55

we stayed at the same hotel and yeah well

25:58

we were always getting the skin and yeah.

25:59

I felt like

26:02

we were on the same page with a few things. Yeah,

26:04

I think so. There was sort of an unspoken thing between

26:06

you two, I think. Yeah. Yeah. Is it?

26:09

Well, at one point we tried to do a high five

26:11

and it didn't happen. I

26:17

don't know if it made it in, but there was a bit where she went to high five

26:20

me and I went to high five her and we missed the high

26:22

five and it was like... Yeah, and is that stuck in your

26:24

brain since then?

26:25

I just thought, I hope that hasn't been

26:27

immortalized. I think it has, isn't it?

26:29

Is that in a future episode? Oh, don't tell

26:31

me yet. Yeah, it has been apparently. Yeah.

26:33

Well, get that deleted. Pixelate that,

26:35

please.

26:36

At least with the

26:38

pre-watershed. I don't want the kiddies seeing their

26:41

hero missing a high

26:43

five with a national treasure. I feel

26:45

like I would have maybe panicked a little

26:47

bit on this task and done what Lucy did

26:49

and phoned the Women's

26:52

Institute. But I like the idea that

26:54

she thought if she called them, there would be a clue at the other

26:56

end of the line. Yeah, yeah. Like

26:59

they've drilled the Women's Institute to be like, if you get a

27:01

call from this number, you've got to answer and say Whiddicom,

27:03

something like that. Oh, that would be kind of interesting.

27:06

That would be good, but quite a lot of admin.

27:09

She does eventually get it, though. 28 minutes. I'm

27:12

trying to think, but I mean, you wouldn't put it past these guys. No. Their

27:15

tentacles are each deep. Yes. So

27:19

Susan Googles, people who are related

27:21

to Catherine Nollies, how do you feel about Susan using

27:23

Google?

27:25

Yes.

27:26

Do you not think it's fine? It's outside

27:28

of the spirit. Someone would tell me Google is not going

27:30

to be around in three years. Really? Yeah.

27:34

Who

27:34

told you that? Oh, fuck out.

27:36

One of

27:39

my people that I talk to on the pier. One

27:45

of my guys on the DLR. Yeah.

27:49

There's going to be a news, there's rumblings

27:51

at Google. And do

27:52

you find that when you use it now,

27:53

it's not as accurate and the first page

27:55

is a lot more promo advertising? Yeah,

27:57

there's a lot more of that for sure. then

28:00

what of Gmail?

28:02

Yeah, well, yeah, that's-

28:04

I'm a big Gmail guy, you know? I know, no

28:06

one knows more than me. I send you a lot of emails.

28:08

Oh yeah, are they from you, Harlan? Yeah. Yeah.

28:13

Well, I used Google a couple of times

28:15

when I was on the show and I always felt

28:17

bad about it. It feels like it's not within the spirit of

28:19

the show. Yeah. So look,

28:22

it was fine, she got the points. Not a fan of

28:24

the Googling, but it was very effective. Oh, you think it's not in

28:26

the spirit of things? No, I don't think it's in

28:28

the spirit of things. I think it's

28:30

a fast and easy way of doing things. Yeah, do you think maybe

28:32

they should have a no phone rule? I think a no phone

28:35

rule, yeah. Yeah. You're

28:37

not gonna give Alex Horne as a problem, you know? Yeah.

28:40

He's in the top 1% of Ashley Madison

28:42

users. Ha ha ha ha. So,

28:47

but he wouldn't be banned

28:49

from using his phone, though. Well, he's on there a lot,

28:51

yeah. Yeah, but I think he

28:54

could keep using his phone for Ashley Madison, yeah.

28:56

Ha ha ha ha. Of course, we

28:58

know Josh Widdicke who's related to Catherine Nollies from

29:01

the show, Who Do You Think You Are? Oh,

29:03

right. That's where it comes from, and I've seen

29:05

that episode told of known straight away. Oh, right,

29:07

you would have jumped on that. I would have won this task. Julian,

29:11

I mean, I was surprised Julian

29:13

wins this, because it really doesn't

29:15

feel like he's going to, seeing

29:17

as he doesn't know the name of anyone. He's

29:19

just such an ultimate gentleman in the way

29:21

that, yeah. He's just one of these people where

29:24

you're just like, ah, he's just with it, he's just,

29:26

yeah, he gets it. Well, he calls Rob Beckett

29:28

the man with the teeth. Yeah. And

29:32

then literally finds a picture of Josh behind

29:35

that door, which must have been very frustrating for the rest of

29:37

you, knowing that there was the ultimate clue hid behind

29:39

that door. Yeah. And then

29:42

just calls him small and nasally and spends

29:44

about eight minutes trying to remember his name.

29:49

Yeah, I mean, it's,

29:51

I kind of like, you know, because all comedians

29:53

are so

29:53

obsessed with what everyone else is up to, you know, even before

29:55

we record you, like, what's Rufus? Hey, I'm doing what's

29:58

going on? Like, you know,

29:59

Julian just doesn't care you like you could picture

30:02

him in a hammock you can picture he's not

30:03

like troubled by all that He's not you know. Yeah,

30:06

yeah outside of it. He's not in the green

30:08

room in Suzy

30:11

ruffles got one the you know, he's like got his own world. Yeah

30:16

I just wonder what people he knows I bet he like

30:18

note. Yeah, he thought I mean he'd asked me

30:21

for a diet coke off And I said, oh, I'm not working the show

30:25

The diet coke are over there by the sign You know

30:28

what he had the you know, they have the after party and that other

30:30

thing. Yeah, he said it reminded him of a weather

30:32

spoon It

30:34

was so funny everything he said like even

30:36

if he said something and it was only two words. Yeah, he's

30:38

so funny Yeah, great

30:40

It was five points to Julian four points

30:42

of season three points for Lucy two points

30:44

for you Sam and one point for soon

30:48

Who are these people in pictures? That's a

30:50

good question Giles Someone

30:53

someone Giles nearly that

30:55

man with his teeth Rob Beckett Comedian.

31:00

Yes. Well Adrian Giles isn't

31:07

Another comedian Do

31:12

I'm not supposed to know his name You

31:15

recognize him I do yes, no, it's very funny.

31:17

Yeah,

31:18

that's his name He's

31:21

sort of small and nasally

31:25

I've always liked

31:27

him. Oh, and he already gets Josh

31:32

is it a Josh Josh

31:37

Who's it come with

31:40

you come What's

31:44

it? I

31:52

Ryan Reynolds here from it mobile with

31:54

the price of just about everything going off during

31:57

inflation. We thought we'd bring our prices down

31:59

So to help us, we brought in a reverse

32:02

auctioneer, which is apparently a thing. Mint

32:04

Mobile Unlimited Premium Wireless. How did it get 30, 30, how

32:06

did it get 30, how did it get 20, 20, how did it get 20, 20, how did it get 15, 15, 15, 15, just 15

32:08

bucks a month? So,

32:13

give it a try at mintmobile.com slash

32:15

switch. New activation and upfront payment for a three-month

32:17

plan required. Taxes and fees extra. Additional restrictions

32:19

apply. See mintmobile.com for full terms.

32:24

From your workout playlist to your social media

32:26

feed, Personal's the way to go. And if Personal

32:29

leads to an affordable price, even better.

32:32

With a State Farm Personal Price Plan, you get

32:34

the coverage you want at an affordable price just for you. And

32:37

a policy that helps cover what's most important

32:39

to you. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is

32:41

there. Call or go to statefarm.com

32:44

today to create your State Farm Personal Price Plan. Prices

32:47

vary by state. Options selected by customer.

32:50

Availability and eligibility may vary. Task 2. Make

32:52

a cheeky picture on

32:56

this piece of wood using nails and one continuous piece of wire. Also, if any egg

32:58

timer stops, you must stare at the camera shaking your head for 10 seconds.

33:02

Best cheeky picture wins. You have 20 minutes. Your time starts now. You

33:06

call that an egg timer, not an hourglass. I've

33:08

got egg timer written down here. And did it say egg timer on the

33:11

task? I've got a real egg timer figure. That

33:14

would be a better phrase. That

33:20

would be a better phrase. Do

33:22

you not use the phrase egg timer in Australia?

33:26

I use it, yeah, every phrase. You use

33:28

every phrase? Even

33:30

the bad ones? Yeah. How

33:38

did you feel about this one, Sam? Because I would describe you as

33:40

cheeky. Really? You're

33:44

like a Beano character. I'm a typical

33:46

dude. You're

33:49

cheeky. Maybe a little bit, yeah.

33:51

I have my moments. I liked this one a

33:53

lot, yeah. Yeah, I thought your picture here,

33:56

first of all, the hack of using a nail to make

33:58

a cheeky picture, using the nail to

34:01

scratch a drawing in. Genius.

34:03

I thought that's what you had to do. Really? Yeah.

34:06

Really? That was your first thought. Yeah. Yeah,

34:09

in fact, because Alex says, oh, you're doing it like that, are you? And he said,

34:11

how else do you make a picture with a nail? Yeah. But

34:14

then you did use the wire as well properly to

34:16

depict the woman with lovely

34:18

hair. Do you find gold doesn't show up that well

34:20

on screen? Gold? Yeah. Oh,

34:23

was it? But it was yellow, wasn't it? It

34:25

was gold. It was like really beautiful. Yeah. I

34:27

feel like, yeah, I don't know. I thought it

34:30

showed up beautifully, yeah. It actually, the

34:32

lady you depicted actually looks a lot like Josh Widdicombe

34:34

to tie it back to the. Oh, right on, okay.

34:37

Yeah, but luckily for us. Hopefully she doesn't

34:39

get trapped in some sort of parenting hell.

34:44

No, no, we're just kidding, guys. That's just

34:46

a bit of humor. Where does

34:48

he live? Where does he live? I know

34:51

where he lives. I'll tell you after the episode. Yeah, well.

34:53

But if we have to record another one of these in the

34:55

future, Sam, maybe we could do it at his house.

34:58

Hey, that'll be all right. Yeah, yeah, we've

35:00

got a little snoop around. It's the

35:02

woman who hides her hair under the hat even if you've got

35:04

lovely hair. Again, I think this could

35:06

be a running story. Maybe this character could appear

35:09

in the Piazza Slippery. Oh,

35:11

really, yeah. The hat, Mrs.

35:14

Hat. Mrs. Hat, yeah, yeah. Because

35:16

you can't call her Mrs. Hair because that reveals her secret. Exactly,

35:18

yeah, yeah. Maybe she doesn't have any hair. Yeah.

35:21

Yeah. Were

35:24

you competitive in Taskmaster? So

35:27

say like Sue got the same amount of points because

35:29

you're here. oh, it was me who

35:31

deserved the five points. Do you get competitive?

35:34

Well, you know my ethos. Life is not a race.

35:36

It's a painting. But

35:38

I also felt like pressure from the show

35:40

itself to be like, oh, you've got a really, like when

35:42

they would say it, they're like, and you only got this, you're

35:44

like, oh, right. So I almost feel like,

35:48

yeah, I didn't really. You didn't really care

35:50

if you threw one or not. Not so much about the points and stuff

35:52

like that, yeah. But you felt like the

35:55

show put pressure on you to act like you did care about

35:57

the points. Maybe a little bit, I don't know. But that's

35:59

part of the fun, yeah. Yeah, it's

36:01

like if you're playing in the I guess if you

36:04

yeah, it's like when you're playing table tennis, you know Well,

36:08

soo Soo

36:10

does the cock and balls. Yeah disgusting

36:13

foul more felt Incredibly

36:16

juicy, but it's a it's a

36:18

great cock. Yeah, she did well Yeah, say

36:20

compared to Lucy's cock

36:22

and balls, which she says it's

36:25

a penis with wings had wings Yeah, but

36:27

it didn't come out. It didn't come out great. No,

36:30

but as who says who would have thought she'd

36:32

be the one to Render

36:35

a penis very well, it did look like a flying

36:37

penis if it had flown into a window

36:40

Yes, or yeah, or a helicopter

36:43

helicopter chopper very

36:45

very bad Apparently

36:48

they're going away helicopters really

36:50

three years. There won't be any telly helicopters.

36:52

Hmm

36:53

What other things are going away in three years

36:55

because we so far it's Google and how the things

36:58

that are going away Yeah, I'm Jack fruit.

37:00

It's having a moment now, but that's on its way out Or

37:06

so What

37:08

are they called they're on the Like

37:10

people just riding on a wheel along the road

37:13

and they're just standing on a wheel what those like hoverboard

37:15

things Yeah, there's gonna be some legislation. So

37:17

if you've got one of them sell up quick. Yeah. Okay.

37:20

Thank you very much for the advice They

37:23

didn't have you been on one of those before I'd really like to go

37:26

on one They're very difficult to get right I think because

37:29

it's all about weight distribution everything in

37:31

life. That's worth doing is tough.

37:33

Yes Julian

37:36

does a sperm Did you think it was a good sperm?

37:39

Yeah, you did but I'm

37:41

kind of a fan of the guy I'm kind of biased.

37:43

But yeah, it was really perfect. Yeah, if

37:45

one of my sperm looks like that I would be honored

37:50

and Susan I think I Think

37:53

I think because of you and Lucy,

37:55

I think quite often Susan

37:58

being insane gets overshadowed

37:59

Yeah.

38:00

And then sometimes it just really comes through in

38:03

the series. And this is one of those occasions

38:05

that when someone asked her to do a cheeky picture, her

38:07

first thought was draw a lady

38:09

with her boobs out, feeding it.

38:12

Yeah.

38:13

Well, I can't talk too much about this individual, because

38:15

I've got some legal action. But we will

38:17

say that she is a psychopath. There's

38:21

some legal action between you and Susan. Yeah.

38:23

I've got a lot of legal, paralegals. A

38:25

lot of people in that profession are working on this case.

38:27

OK. You won't go into too many details then. Was

38:31

there a longer discussion in the studio about

38:33

the topless lady feeding the dog picture?

38:35

Not so much. Not that I recall. So it was just brushed

38:38

over that you thought it was cheeky.

38:40

Imagine if you were topless feeding your dog. Yeah.

38:42

And then she goes, and it's cheeky? And it's

38:44

weird. I loved that when she said that. Yeah. It's

38:47

very, very funny.

38:49

Also, I would say I don't think it was one continuous piece

38:51

of wire. I think she

38:53

stringed two pieces of wire together. And I would

38:55

not call that a continuous piece of wire. You get hung up

38:57

on stuff like that. Yeah. You're one of those,

38:59

are you? Yeah. As should Greg. Greg

39:01

should be picking up on these things. Oh, Greg, yeah. Yeah.

39:04

He seems a bit relaxed this series. I'll say

39:06

that. What? I'm

39:08

more pedicaty, I think. Oh, look at this. The whipping

39:10

boy gets a hold of the whip. Ha ha.

39:14

One point for Lucy, two points for Julian,

39:17

three points for Susan, five points for you, Sam,

39:19

and five points for Susan. Did I? As well, yeah.

39:21

Five's the best you can get. And finally, Sue

39:24

Perkins. And this is more recognizable. Here we go. Cheeky.

39:27

Yeah.

39:28

Yeah. Yeah. That's why you do. That's

39:32

why you do. It's

39:34

only because

39:34

of that. With all hands. Who would be

39:36

the person least likely? Yeah. That

39:39

is really good.

39:41

No one's more shocked than I am. That's

39:43

a lovely attention to see. Yeah. And

39:46

I hope this is appropriate. A lovely girl.

39:51

I wanted

39:51

to make it aspirational, but attainable.

39:53

Yeah. Class 3,

39:56

make mischief. Most mischievous wins.

39:58

You have a maximum of half an hour. Your time. starts

40:00

now. It's the

40:02

second mention in the series of The Secret Task. Yeah.

40:06

Now when Alex first mentions The Secret Task

40:08

in Episode 1, you

40:10

are the one who's intrigued the most, I think. I

40:13

think it really caught you on the back foot. Were

40:16

you thinking at that point, I need to find The Secret

40:18

Task? No, I just thought it was a creepy

40:20

through line. Actually, can I tell you what my fear was?

40:23

Yes. And I'm one of the most delusional and paranoid

40:25

people, but I thought maybe it was something he was just saying

40:28

to me just to get a rise out of me. Interesting.

40:30

Yeah. Which

40:33

is perfectly possible. Just the way he would say, like, have

40:35

you seen The Secret Task? And

40:37

I thought maybe I was a target in an attack.

40:40

Well, I mean, you're kind of right to be paranoid

40:43

because this task

40:44

actually does put you in a position where you're the only one

40:46

having to do something and people have directly

40:48

targeted you. I mean, let's talk

40:50

about this straight away because

40:52

Susan's mischievous task is

40:54

to set you your own task which

40:57

is stand up and shout mice whenever you hear

40:59

or see mice, sit down and whisper fish

41:01

whenever you see or hear fish. You have 20 minutes.

41:03

Most fish in my scene and herd wins. I

41:06

think this is one of the best things anyone has ever

41:08

done in the history of Taskmaster. I

41:11

think it's genius. It was really, yeah. And she

41:13

even had her own custom seal. Custom

41:16

seal, which you didn't notice. You just

41:18

popped open the task and you tried really

41:20

hard in the task. Yeah. Yeah. Tried so

41:22

hard. You started drawing your own fish and

41:24

mice. Yeah. I did some like cheap trick

41:26

as you call them. Yeah.

41:29

How did you feel watching that back? Because you

41:32

cut back to the studio and I was furious.

41:34

I wanted to kill her. And I

41:38

pursued legal action. Oh, is this

41:40

why all the legal actions come happening?

41:42

Yeah. It's going to be behind bars. You know, federal

41:45

prison. They

41:47

could have put her in prison in another country. Yeah.

41:49

Wow. Well, you called

41:51

her a nut job is what you do. Yeah.

41:53

That's not. I've also had a cut stuff. I

41:55

also called her a fruitcake and a psycho.

42:00

Did you feel, I mean you felt like your

42:02

paranoia was absolutely justified after

42:04

seeing this.

42:06

But here's what I think Sam, you're

42:09

going to enjoy this.

42:10

I think you should have got some points for that task. Oh

42:12

really? Yeah. No

42:14

I know. Because you were set a task. But I fell for it

42:16

all. Yeah but you're not going to walk into

42:18

every task and go, Susan Wachoma's set this, I'm not going

42:20

to do it. Otherwise you get no points for the whole series.

42:23

You got presented with a task, you did it to the best

42:25

of your ability, you did very very well.

42:28

I feel like you should have got at least two bonus points

42:30

for completing a task that no one else completes.

42:34

Yeah maybe. I don't, yeah. You're very

42:36

relaxed about this. You don't have the competitive

42:38

spirit do you?

42:40

I think I, yeah maybe it

42:41

manifests in different ways. Yeah. But

42:44

just the whole, it did just taught me a lot this one. What

42:46

did it teach you? It,

42:49

it's so much of this

42:50

kind of thing will happen where something means so much

42:52

to you and then you find

42:54

out that it actually didn't mean anything. But then you realize

42:56

it did mean something because we are the ones that assign

42:58

meaning. Oh

43:00

okay so really philosophical. It made

43:02

you feel quite philosophical. Sort of like

43:04

even when they were like ah

43:05

and she said and you're like yeah but I still did it and

43:07

I still felt it and yeah you can't

43:09

get

43:09

too hung up on like this means this and this

43:11

means that. Because you find out so many, where you're

43:14

like this is important to me and then later you

43:16

realize you're like

43:17

what the hell?

43:18

Or like you have an enemy do you know what I mean? And then

43:21

you will have, and then later on you'll end up in a

43:23

canoe with them or something nice will happen with

43:25

them. Like you

43:28

can't, yeah you can't be too. Have

43:30

you ever ended up in a canoe

43:33

with your enemy? Yeah. Who

43:35

was that? Like a school friend who we were

43:37

enemies and then became quite good friends and yeah even

43:39

went canoeing together. Yeah. And

43:42

do you know what happened? We were chattel,

43:44

this is great. We went, we canoed

43:46

past a nest and

43:49

it was not eggs. We went over to look and it wasn't eggs

43:52

in there. There

43:54

were no eggs in there. No. Yeah.

43:59

I'll tell you off the podcast. what was in there? Well

44:01

tell me now. Tell

44:04

me

44:06

now.

44:08

A dead bird.

44:17

Oh no.

44:21

So how did that make you and your enemy

44:23

feel?

44:24

Well now friend we were like shocked. Yeah.

44:27

Yeah. Yeah. That's big stuff. Well

44:30

you got one point for this. You've

44:33

surely got to cut all that. Yeah

44:35

one point. Yeah yeah yeah. I got tricked

44:37

and I was, they definitely,

44:40

yeah they sandbagged me

44:42

badly and

44:43

I feel like in the edit they found the shots

44:45

where I looked the most distressed. Yes.

44:48

What in your particular attempts

44:50

at this task or when Susan... After

44:52

it had been revealed they show me going. Yeah

44:55

yeah yeah. But your attempt

44:58

was only one point which I was surprised by because

45:00

you are a mischievous little boy. I think

45:03

you just, you maybe telegraphed it too much

45:06

by asking for Alex's phone to make the

45:08

prank call. Oh the thing with the hammer and oh yeah that was terrible. That

45:10

was such a dud. That was awful. Was that

45:12

on the day you didn't enjoy? I can't remember

45:14

but yeah it could have been part of that with that one yeah.

45:17

So the prank was that you said

45:19

you were borrowing Alex's phone for a prank call. Yeah.

45:22

And it was your mischievous thing. Yeah.

45:24

And then you switched the phones out. Yeah

45:27

to a dummy phone. To a dummy phone and then came

45:30

back in and... You know what they can't.

45:32

What? It was hot water that was in

45:34

the bowl. Does that make a difference? Not so

45:36

much. You

45:40

dropped the phone in a bowl and then started hitting it

45:42

with a hammer. Yeah. And Alex said

45:45

that at no point did he think that it was his phone.

45:47

Yeah. Yeah he

45:49

kind of like dropped the mask

45:52

a little on this one. He did. Yeah

45:54

I really think he did. When Greg said did

45:56

you think it was your phone and he did? Yeah.

45:58

Never at any point. We see a bit more of the

46:00

Alex we see off screen where he's

46:02

like very publicly checking his bank

46:05

account and he goes, oh, right. You

46:08

know what he does? He goes, well, this

46:11

is what he, he goes, yeah, wow. Speaking

46:13

of six zeros. And then he points at all the crew and

46:15

goes back to work. One

46:20

point for your prank, sadly. Two

46:23

points for Lucy's prank, who

46:26

does a seance and then

46:30

records her voice counting

46:32

down and steals things from people's pockets.

46:34

Greg seems to suggest it's not good because the

46:37

people she got to do it don't put on a good performance.

46:39

Do you think that was fair? Yeah, it was the crew.

46:41

It was Clarence, it was Luke Smith

46:43

and it was Amy. Yeah. Do

46:46

you feel like they can be held accountable for this?

46:50

I guess they just wouldn't have known what was up and

46:52

they would have just, yeah, I mean, these people,

46:54

well, I mean, you know, I might get flack for this.

46:56

They don't belong on camera.

47:03

Let's see their name, you know, flying

47:06

past in the credits at the end, but you know, that's not actually,

47:08

you know, she

47:13

blows in their face and stuff as well. I mean, I thought, I thought

47:15

it was a good idea.

47:18

It was historically accurate. Yeah,

47:20

absolutely. But I guess the real

47:23

issue with it was the

47:24

recorded voice. You can very

47:26

clearly hear the changeover from her voice, the recorded

47:28

voice, and then she's very clearly moving around

47:31

blowing on people's faces and stealing their stuff. But

47:33

I like the idea.

47:36

I was less, actually maybe less a fan of Julian's.

47:38

I was surprised it got three points over Lucy's

47:40

where he wrote fan letters to Stephen Mulhern

47:43

and Jacob Reese-Mogg. Oh, this got like the

47:45

biggest laugh in the studio of the whole thing

47:47

almost. They cut it. What?

47:49

How big the laugh was? They

47:52

cut a bit where he called Jacob Reese-Mogg

47:54

the C word. Right. And it was just like explode

47:57

the way just do you know what I mean? That sounds like maybe

47:59

a bit, but the way he said it in the context and

48:01

everything he just dropped it and everyone

48:03

just went bananas. Yeah, I

48:06

bet. He got some huge monster laughs.

48:08

Yeah, I'm sure and he doesn't like revel in

48:10

them like he just serves them. He's sort

48:12

of amazing to me. I love how much of a fan of Julian

48:14

Clare you are. What do you know you don't

48:17

think he's sophisticated? Of course I do I think he's brilliant but

48:19

it's just it's like this has been a huge revelation

48:21

to you doing this series. Yeah. Yeah. Do you

48:24

think this this deserved three points though? I know

48:26

you love the guy. Yeah. But writing

48:28

the letters you had a half hour window to do

48:30

something mischievous. He wrote the letters within

48:33

that half hour window those letters are doing nothing. I

48:35

didn't know who the people he was talking about. I

48:37

didn't know anything about what he was doing. I didn't understand

48:39

it at all. Right. Okay. Fair enough. So you can't really comment

48:41

on it. I still give him five. I

48:45

don't think it causes that much mischievous. For his penmanship.

48:50

Well the penmanship of Peter McDonald. I

48:52

believe that was his that was his pen name. Yeah. There's a

48:54

lot of made up names in this show. Adrian Charles

48:56

all these crazy people. How

49:01

good are these people? England's

49:04

amazing because you become famous and look like a candle.

49:08

Just in Australia they're

49:10

like stunning people. That's why I had to move. Disgusting

49:15

porridge stiffers. Sorry cut that cut everything I've said. No

49:17

it's all staying in man. Sue

49:22

immediately wants to create a portcullis. Yeah.

49:25

Absolutely awesome. Alex

49:27

into the caravan with lollies. He's got to do

49:30

his own task. And it's nice to see

49:32

Alex do tasks and see that he would be committed to

49:34

them if he had to do tasks because he's dribbling

49:36

everywhere. Yeah. Gobble flop

49:39

it out of his mouth into the floor. And

49:41

then he's into the caravan and the portcullis comes

49:43

down and Sue just screams portcullis. Yeah.

49:46

In a very childish way. As Greg said I

49:49

really love this one. What is portcullis? Is

49:51

that similar to like what are you reading from?

49:54

On like castles and stuff. It's like trebuchet times.

49:56

Yeah so trebuchet

49:57

times.

49:59

times. Yeah, it'd be on the front of a castle,

50:02

the defence and stuff but

50:04

the amount of effort she put into it just with green

50:06

port colours into his face.

50:08

Yeah, I thought it was great and the sense

50:10

of joy, incredible. Yeah, loved it.

50:12

Four points well deserved but it was five points for Susan,

50:14

four points for Sue, three points for

50:17

Julian, two points for Lucy and only

50:19

one point for you, Sam. This

50:21

lady's a nut job. You

50:25

invented the game.

50:26

I wanted it to be, like I said, victim

50:28

based.

50:29

And

50:32

you were the victim. That

50:36

is amazing but I was so just like, you

50:39

know, lock her up. Never

50:42

thought that my fish

50:45

is an anagram of mischief. Oh,

50:48

how did this go, work, I'm up. Let's

50:50

talk about the live task. Did you enjoy doing the live

50:53

task?

50:54

I might say, yeah. Yeah, had a good

50:56

time. I've been hit on the head a few times since

50:58

I did the show. Well,

51:02

this live task, write down one thing you like

51:04

and one thing you don't like, you have 30 seconds and

51:07

then part two is draw your two things at the same

51:09

time. You must be drawing with both hands and

51:11

stare at the taskmaster throughout the task.

51:13

Best pair of pictures wins. I'd like to

51:16

re-tract and port colours to my end so I actually

51:18

hated this one. Oh, okay. Why did you

51:20

get tricked? Well, you got tricked because... This

51:23

episode was, I got tricked a lot and

51:25

yeah, I was like, what have I saw? I'll pull it, they

51:27

will trick you. Yeah, and this would have been day

51:30

one of film in the studio, right? Yeah, yeah.

51:32

Episode two. I did well during the days and

51:34

at night it would fall apart. I was king of the day

51:36

and then Sue Perkins was queen of the night. And

51:39

you know she tried to bribe me. Did she? As

51:41

I was walking home, she like rode

51:44

past in her chariot and she offered me Turkish

51:46

delight. She goes, take this boy and let me

51:48

win this series. Like Narnia? A

51:50

little bit like that, yeah. You,

51:54

if I had to nail you down to a character

51:56

in Narnia, you would be Edmund.

51:58

Who's that?

51:58

Oh, no, no. Which one is he?

52:01

He's the kid who gets given the Turkish delight. Oh yeah,

52:03

yeah, yeah. Turns on his friends. Ah,

52:06

I would prefer to be any other,

52:08

I would like to be one of the, yeah, more of the woodland creature

52:11

or probably Aslan. You're not

52:13

an Aslan man. What the hell, why not? Your

52:15

toughness if you're a creature. Who are you?

52:17

I'm probably Aslan.

52:19

You think you're, you, yeah, yeah. I'm

52:21

an Aslan or Mrs. Beaver.

52:24

Probably.

52:25

Hmm. Yeah, see I'm not Aslan, I know that

52:27

all the kids die at the end in the last book. Well

52:30

this is a suggestion isn't it that they're all

52:32

dead. Yeah. They die in a train

52:34

crash, that's what happens in the last book. Yeah, but I just

52:36

don't, I refuse to believe it.

52:39

The last battle, it's

52:40

very sad. Are you a huge Narnia

52:42

fan? I used to be, yeah.

52:44

Wow. You know,

52:45

um. It's cool stuff. Cool stuff, Lewis.

52:48

So you know, it's obviously an

52:51

allegory for Christianity,

52:54

Narnia. Yeah.

52:57

Yeah. Wow. Allegedly.

53:01

And then Lord of the Rings is a very atheistic book.

53:03

Yeah. So J.R. Tolkien used

53:05

to be a fervent Christian and C.S. Lewis

53:08

was an atheist

53:09

and they met once and had like a

53:11

four hour discussion and swapped

53:13

ideologies. They convinced each other of their

53:15

different ideologies. Wow. And

53:18

then those books were written.

53:19

That's amazing. That's like me and you. Yeah, it is

53:21

like me and you. I'm going to walk around,

53:23

walk away with some tats and a penchant

53:26

for blood music and heavy stuff

53:28

and you know. And

53:31

I mean, I'm going to do whatever you do. You're going to

53:33

live my life. Yeah. Living in one

53:35

of those sheds on the throttle of the road with the bikes.

53:42

Do you think your life sucks? If anyone

53:45

please write in and trade lives with me, please,

53:48

please, please. Do

53:51

you think your esoteric choices of

53:54

something you like and something you don't like really came back to bite

53:56

you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're a bit annoyed that

53:58

you went for weird.

54:00

weird odd things.

54:01

I just panicked I didn't know I thought maybe I had

54:03

something to do someone else would have to guess ours right

54:06

so I tried to set to trick them so you

54:08

tried to pick difficult things that other people

54:10

yeah to guess so you pick world cinema or a negative

54:13

gearing yeah which I don't know what that is but

54:16

it's something that people are talking about in Australia and it's only

54:18

in Australia yeah I think Alex googled

54:20

it didn't he and it don't have it in England

54:22

yeah but I thought actually

54:24

if you had to represent negative negative gearing in

54:27

a drawing

54:28

I thought you did

54:29

pretty well thanks Ed that's nice I mean it's still

54:31

impossible but yeah there's some gears falling

54:33

yeah it was quite good but

54:36

it was it was one point obviously because there was no

54:38

way Greg was gonna guess that yeah Lucy draws

54:40

peas in cauliflower really

54:43

tickled me and somehow drawing a cauliflower

54:45

drew a better penis than she managed with

54:47

the nail and wire just what yeah sometimes

54:49

the answers come to a different time yeah just

54:51

look in a different direction you draw a better penis that's

54:54

the lesson penis

54:56

SEX

54:59

Susan Susan draws

55:01

dancing and sweaty backs yeah

55:04

I love the representation of sweaty backs

55:07

and then you have a sweaty back I do right now yeah

55:09

it's really yeah not in general

55:11

I would say how about you I'd

55:13

like yeah I wouldn't mind you collecting

55:16

some of that stuff in a cup and maybe

55:19

I could drink it yeah not the question I asked

55:21

them to ask you about your sweaty do you have

55:23

a sweaty back? No I don't really sweat much and you know I've got

55:25

real not much armpit hair at all no

55:27

me neither I'd love to get more yeah but

55:30

I don't have any to give you if that's what you yeah well

55:32

we could go out there and get some yeah. Sue

55:35

and Julian both draw Stephen Mulhern

55:37

and Jacob Rees-Mogg yeah but

55:39

then Julian gets five and Sue gets four I

55:42

feel like they should have got joint points yeah

55:45

maybe yeah that's interesting theory because

55:47

I think Sue's Jacob

55:49

Rees-Mogg was better than Julian's Jacob Rees-Mogg

55:51

but I've realised that probably doesn't mean anything to you because

55:53

you don't know who Jacob Rees-Mogg is have you since

55:55

looked him up? I think I do know

55:57

who he is maybe I don't know the other guy Rees,

56:01

Mulgyler really like. Doesn't

56:06

he still have a nanny at age 50? He's

56:08

that sort of guy, yeah. Mulhern

56:12

is a TV host, he works on Handsome Deck a

56:14

lot and he's about to host a reboot of the show Deal or No Deal.

56:17

Oh really? So there you go, keep an eye

56:19

out for him. That

56:21

show did so much for briefcases. They

56:23

were seen as so boring and now they're kind of golden

56:26

and a bit of spiff and a bit of, you know, yeah. It's

56:28

boxes here, it's not briefcases. Oh you don't have briefcases?

56:31

No.

56:32

Really? And do you have the monkey? No we

56:34

don't have the monkey, the deal or no deal monkey. Wow, yours is very

56:36

different. In Australia if you get 50 cents, that's

56:39

the monkey and a little animated monkey comes

56:41

on screen and he's like, whoa, you did

56:43

the wrong thing. That's the catfish, right?

56:46

It's different, yeah. Yeah, it's very different. So

56:49

Sue and Susan are joined on 19 points. And

56:52

my mum is also called Susan. That's

56:54

exciting for you. Does she know

56:56

that you're on Taskmaster with another lady

56:58

called Susan? Yeah, annoyingly my

57:00

parents actually came to one of the episodes because they

57:02

were going on holidays. So they came

57:05

and they saw an episode. So they were

57:07

on, they'd come over from Australia.

57:10

Yeah. On holiday.

57:12

To go to Italy, yeah. To

57:13

go to Italy. And then they popped in to see a record. Yeah, and they

57:15

met Sue Perkins and they were like so excited, they couldn't

57:17

believe it. Oh really? That's who they were

57:19

most excited to meet. Yeah.

57:22

And Julian as well, did they share your? I think they did

57:24

meet Julian, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

57:27

How did they, have they seen the show before? Were they excited

57:30

that you were on it?

57:31

I think they, well, they hadn't

57:33

seen

57:33

it before and I think they, my

57:35

mum called Alex on the weasel. I

57:38

think she just thinks that's what he's called. She's like, yeah, the weasel.

57:44

The Taskmaster and the weasel. Yeah, he's doing some

57:46

show where he has to catch this guy, the weasel. Yeah.

57:51

So it all went down to a tie break between Sue and

57:53

Susan, learn pie to the most decimal

57:55

places. Do you remember filming that one? Yeah. How

57:58

well, how well did you do on that one? I

58:00

kept saying numbers for ages and ages

58:02

hoping that they'd coincide. I didn't know it had to be

58:04

consecutive. And so I said

58:07

numbers for like 20 minutes and people were so pissed

58:09

off. That cameraman, Sam, wanted to

58:11

joke me in. No, Sam's

58:13

lovely. I really tested his patience.

58:16

So you wouldn't have won it. Every day I would do

58:18

something that people were like, we should

58:20

have done a background check. This guy's not okay.

58:24

Sue wins the tiebreak and learns pi

58:26

to the most decimal places. Sue comes

58:28

in second place. Julian had 16 points. You

58:31

got 12 points, Sam. And Lucy

58:33

got 10 points, meaning the series

58:35

scores. Julian's on 35. You

58:38

and Susan are in joint second on 33 points. Sue

58:41

on 32 points. And Lucy languishing on 23 points.

58:44

But at the top, 35, 33, 32, it's

58:47

all pretty close so far. No one's streaking ahead. Yeah.

58:50

We're only on episode two. A lot to happen.

58:53

Sam, thank you so much for coming on the Taskmaster Podcast.

58:56

Oh, thanks so much. We always ask our guests on

58:58

the Taskmaster Podcast to rate their experience

59:00

on the podcast between one and five points in the style

59:02

of the Taskmaster. We hope you've had a nice time,

59:04

but please give it a points rating. Five.

59:08

The host was very accommodating. Thank you very much, Sam.

59:12

I love water.

59:17

Thank you so much to Sam for

59:19

coming on the Taskmaster Podcast. And

59:22

thanks so much to Sam for making it in person. It

59:24

was a lot of fun. We'll have more

59:26

chat about Taskmaster, specifically episode

59:28

three of Series 16 next week, straight after

59:30

the main show on Channel 4, 9 p.m. 10 p.m.

59:34

This podcast will be out with another fantastic guest.

59:36

Thank you very much for listening. Until then,

59:39

enjoy yourselves.

59:56

When did life start getting so complicated?

59:59

Buying a home? Complicated. Home

1:00:01

finances? Certainly not

1:00:03

a walk in the park. Raising kids? Yeah,

1:00:06

it's a lot. Then there's insurance. What

1:00:08

if my policy doesn't cover this? Or

1:00:10

what if I have to make a claim in the middle of the night?

1:00:13

Good news! State Farm is there for

1:00:15

your what-ifs. You can reach them 24-7. File

1:00:18

a claim on the State Farm mobile app or simply

1:00:20

call your agent to ask anything. So even

1:00:22

if life gets tricky, insurance doesn't have to be.

1:00:25

Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

1:00:27

Call or go to statefarm.com for a quote

1:00:29

today.