0:12

Hello and welcome to the Taskmaster Podcast,

0:14

it's Ed Gamble here, host of the

0:16

Taskmaster Podcast. Now a very special day

0:18

today. This is the

0:21

first of two special best of episodes.

0:23

We've put together some of our favourite

0:25

moments from Series 17 and in true

0:27

Taskmaster podcast fashion, we discuss more than

0:29

just the tasks, quite regularly it just

0:31

gets wildly off track to be honest.

0:33

Uh, Lou Saunders popped up on John Robbins'

0:35

episode of course, uh, Joe

0:37

McNally's pronunciation of lice. We, look,

0:40

we had a great time. Uh, there'll be plenty of

0:42

Taskmaster chat in this episode of course, uh, but there'll

0:44

be lots of the silly stuff as well. And

0:46

now we don't need to worry about spoilers, there'll

0:49

also be some chat that didn't make it in

0:51

the first time around. And

0:53

in other massive Taskmaster Podcast news, we

0:55

are very happy to announce that soon

0:57

we will start covering Taskmaster New Zealand.

1:00

That's right, the Taskmaster multiverse is

1:02

never ending and now we are

1:04

fully on board. To watch Taskmaster

1:06

New Zealand Series 1-3 visit channel4.com

1:08

and then come and listen to

1:10

the episode, specific episodes of the Taskmaster

1:13

Podcast where we will have guests on

1:15

from the show as well as Taskmaster

1:17

New Zealand megafans. Looking forward

1:20

to that very much, but first here is

1:22

a best of Taskmaster the Podcast Series Welcome,

1:28

John Robbins, to the Taskmaster

1:30

Podcast. Well, welcome to

1:32

you Ed. Thank you. Thank

1:35

you for having me on. But I have

1:37

to say before we begin, I've got a little treat for

1:39

you, dear. Have you? Well,

1:42

that's exciting. It's very rare to get a

1:44

treat. So lies! It's your worst

1:46

nightmare. Oh no, Lou Sanders is here.

1:49

She can't get enough. From the rival podcast.

1:52

No, you quit, you quit that, Lou. Do you remember? You

1:55

quit that podcast and now you're trying to get onto mine. We've

1:58

been here before. Yes,

2:04

I'm going to do a podcast about food

2:06

next. Just

2:10

for the listeners, what's happened is Lou's immediately

2:12

popped into the shot, taken John's

2:15

headphones and basically parked her face in front of

2:17

John's. So it appears this episode is with Lou

2:19

now. Yes, it's sort of,

2:21

but I'll let him pop in. No,

2:24

I'm actually going to the big Tesco.

2:28

So I'll leave you boys

2:30

to it. And she's brought her own microphone, which

2:32

is actually a sort of

2:34

golf practice swing tempo

2:36

device. I found it in the corner. It's

2:39

classic. That's what a Taskmaster

2:41

champion does. They come to your house, they

2:44

grab the nearest prop and they just riff with

2:46

it. Lou has never stopped

2:48

doing Taskmaster. Well thanks for that. What a

2:50

lovely cameo appearance from you, Lou. Don't you

2:52

try to end this. Well,

2:54

you said you're going to the big Tesco. No, I

2:56

am. Will you come back on

2:59

and talk about this series later on

3:01

in the series to chat about how

3:03

John's doing? I'd love to because I'm

3:05

going to watch every one of them

3:07

very carefully. Yes. I love Joanne

3:09

McNally as well. I can't stop listening to

3:11

her podcast. I'm very excited to see what

3:13

she does. In fact, it's a very good

3:15

lineup, isn't it? Everyone in it is solid

3:17

10. It's an excellent lineup.

3:19

And we're going to discuss that with John shortly.

3:22

Yes. Oh God, yes.

3:24

Yes. Yes. Right,

3:26

sad ass. Bye Lou. Lots

3:28

of love. Bye dear. Bye dear.

3:31

Oh, she's given that door a right slap. There

3:34

you go. Just for the listener. He's back in

3:36

the room. Just for the listener before rumours start

3:38

spreading thick and fast. You

3:40

and Lou, just friends. You've not moved in

3:42

together. We've not moved in together. She came

3:44

to visit for a cup of coffee and

3:46

it's the kind of friendship where she borrows

3:48

one of your girlfriend's sanitary pads. It's

3:53

that kind of vibe. Did

4:06

you ever have those moments on Taskmaster that

4:08

I think a lot of people have where

4:10

you suddenly flow outside your own body and

4:12

go, how has it come to this? How

4:15

am I doing this? So like sticking

4:17

the Statue of David to a whiteboard

4:19

using toffees, were you just thinking, this

4:21

is so mad that I'm in this

4:23

situation. It's so mad, but

4:26

I just absolutely loved that

4:28

element of it. Because

4:31

what I do normally as an actor and a writer

4:33

and, you know, doing the show like Inside Number Nine,

4:35

I'm all about preparing things

4:38

and honing things

4:40

and spending a lot of time thinking

4:42

about something before you do it. And

4:45

what I loved about Taskmaster is that you don't

4:48

have that at all. And

4:50

it sends you back to childhood again. And

4:52

it's, you know, without being too

4:55

pretentious about it, it's about play. It's

4:57

about you playing and finding fun in

4:59

what you're doing. And

5:01

so I did love that. And there were times

5:03

that I was crying with laughter at the

5:06

ridiculous things that I ended up

5:08

doing. There was one task, because

5:10

obviously they feel more tasks than they end up

5:12

using, as I'm sure you know. And

5:15

so there were three or four that we

5:17

did and they didn't broadcast. But one of

5:19

them, they used it in the New Year's

5:21

special they've just done, where you had to

5:24

draw a portrait of yourself eating a piece

5:26

of fruit with the fruit. And

5:29

I was drawing a picture of myself

5:31

eating a banana with a banana on

5:33

my nose. And when I looked at

5:36

it, it just looked

5:38

like I was filleting a

5:40

banana. I couldn't

5:42

make this picture look less

5:45

pornographic. And

5:47

I was crying and crying with laughter at

5:50

this. And I was going, please don't show

5:52

this. I beg you, don't show this. And

5:55

they didn't. So I, but I'm not, I've just told

5:57

you about it. So. Yeah.

6:00

people hounding you Steve to get a copy

6:02

of that picture. People will demand it.

6:05

Absolutely, well it must be somewhere but

6:07

yeah in answer to your question there are

6:10

those moments all the time and for me

6:12

because it's so different to what I normally

6:14

do, I

6:16

loved it so much. Now

6:27

we should, before we get into this episode,

6:29

episode four, we should talk to you

6:31

about your outfit Nick. We've got to talk to you

6:33

about the outfit. What was

6:35

the thinking behind it? What

6:40

was the thought process behind dressing in

6:43

a full Dracula outfit for all of

6:45

the tasks? Twofold.

6:49

First was slightly connected to what I was

6:51

saying before in that I was slightly, because

6:53

I've never really done anything as me,

6:56

you know I've either acted

6:58

in scripted stuff or I've been you know

7:01

Mr Swallow and stuff and things like that

7:03

so I very very rarely, unless it's like

7:05

to publicize something really you know go

7:08

on as sort of me as me. So

7:10

I was a little bit nervous about that so I sort of thought

7:12

it would be fun to sort of slightly hide

7:14

behind something even though it is just me in a

7:17

Dracula outfit. I just thought well that just it's sort

7:19

of instantly relaxed me thinking oh well there's a costume

7:21

and makeup so I can sort of treat it like

7:23

it's fiction. But

7:27

then also probably more

7:29

importantly we just had our third

7:32

and final baby Ami

7:35

who's beautiful and gorgeous and I

7:37

was exhausted when I had the

7:40

conversations with Andy Devrenshire and

7:42

Andy and Alex and I was just like what about if

7:44

I just dressed as a director and they were like oh

7:46

great and I just sort of just turned off the zoom

7:48

and was like bye. And

7:51

then it sort of happened and then

7:53

I realized I mean within the first

7:55

hour of starting filming that it was

7:57

really impractical. It took ages to to

8:00

kind of keep getting in and out of it. It

8:02

would need touching up in between every single task. And

8:05

there's a lot of tasks. I mean, I don't even know

8:07

if you get show every single task

8:09

that we did. But it was so,

8:11

and that cape, it was so hot.

8:15

I mean, it was, I mean, I loved it. I

8:19

still loved it. And I like how it looks,

8:21

but I don't, did they ever mention

8:23

it? Does it ever get, I mean, I can't,

8:25

does Greg ever mention it that I'm in it?

8:27

Yeah, I mean, it is mentioned, but there's not

8:29

like a big chat about it, which is even

8:31

funnier. Yeah, it's just what

8:34

I wear when I go out on the

8:36

panel. It's funny hearing the audience see it

8:38

for the first time, because obviously every other

8:40

episode is a new audience. So

8:42

it always gets a big laugh when you first

8:44

appear. And again, when we were speaking to John

8:47

on the podcast, he

8:50

seemed, in a very John Robbins way, quite

8:52

put out by the fact that he'd dressed

8:54

as Freddie Mercury and it got nothing and

8:56

no one was talking about it because they

8:58

were all busy looking at you in the

9:00

full Dracula outfit. It's a full

9:02

outfit. Oh, it's the

9:04

full works. Yeah, full works, Chris, you have

9:06

makeup, doing, you know, doing a best, trying

9:09

to keep it all in place between every

9:11

task. And, you know, it's raining sometimes, or

9:13

it get messy sometimes. But I remember in

9:15

the studio records, because they obviously play the

9:17

opening, the opening title sequence. And

9:20

you can see me as sort of Dracula in

9:22

that, but it slightly goes by a little bit

9:24

unnoticed in that, because it's such a kind of

9:26

compilation of stuff and as people are wearing wood

9:29

and wacky stuff, we've got props and stuff. And

9:31

you can see the audience going, hmm, hmm, yes,

9:33

hmm, like that. And then when they show

9:35

the first round of tasks and they're like, oh,

9:37

yeah, this is weird. Yeah,

9:39

I mean, I heard about it a little

9:42

bit before, because I was working with Chrissie,

9:44

who does makeup on Taskmaster. And

9:46

normally, she doesn't

9:48

go in for the men. So

9:51

she's not at the house for the tasks for the men.

9:54

And she said, oh, they're doing the new

9:56

Taskmaster series now. And I said, oh, well,

9:58

you know, It's

18:00

almost as if you didn't know what you'd done and

18:02

then slowly as you sort of went through your thought

18:04

process it got darker and darker Yeah,

18:07

yeah, cuz then I guess it became about

18:09

I think why Yes,

18:11

what it became about was me

18:13

imagining a particularly violent death Full

18:17

of full of unnecessary suffering and that

18:19

the only thing that could Save

18:21

you from this was the potion like like you'd

18:24

been given like a like a goblin is like

18:26

giving you a choice It's like

18:28

take the pension or your it's sort

18:30

of eternally sort of damned or have to

18:32

endure this sort of really horrible torture I

18:34

don't know why I viewed it like that.

18:36

I mean it Increasingly

18:39

baffles me now that we kind of drill

18:41

into it why I chose yeah I

18:44

mean I interpreted that way imagine explaining

18:46

that to like a woman is just

18:48

turned 60 giving her a

18:50

potion and going It's like some was goblins giving

18:52

you a choice and you're good I'm

18:55

the goblin Well,

19:03

I thought it was very sweet I mean the fact that it'd

19:05

be made by your son I think I think is is lovely

19:07

and I like that you have it as a little do you

19:09

not have to drink the potion though To get the good luck

19:12

from it Nick you you would they

19:14

think it's basically gluing glitter So I don't think

19:16

anyone should be should be drinking it. Yeah, it's

19:18

bad luck Oh Let's

19:21

talk about Sophie's animal print onesie

19:24

I mean, it's

19:26

fantastic because the the old person

19:28

that Sophie Imagines because

19:30

this essentially was imagined what old

19:33

person do you imagine? What

19:35

what do you think? Yeah, and Sophie seems

19:37

to imagine What she is

19:40

going to be like as a granny and

19:42

indeed what she you know sort of family

19:44

members of her So I think yes, I

19:47

think she was just it was completely I

19:49

mean it was probably Amazon

19:51

not normal really Yeah, she's

19:53

imagining a lot of that. So yeah,

19:55

I mean it completely fits. But yeah,

19:58

it's absolutely what Sophie's got to be

20:00

like. Just wearing what she would wear

20:02

now probably and just absolutely going for

20:04

it. And we need to talk about

20:07

basically her getting up and doing a full

20:09

performance and doing slut dropping and... I

20:12

couldn't believe that she could do that. Not believe it in

20:14

that I didn't think she could

20:21

do it but like it was the speed at which

20:23

we were sort of talking about it and then she

20:25

was doing it that was really

20:27

impressive. And then I think

20:29

obviously because it was only episode four

20:31

I was like oh god is that what we meant to do? We

20:33

meant to kind of be getting up and doing like

20:36

in my head I'm like I just get to

20:38

sit down and chat for a couple of hours

20:40

or whatever. And then Sophie's up doing that. It's

20:42

really energetic. She did I mean she did it

20:44

brilliantly to be fair. Amazing. I

20:46

mean there was like the slut drop was incredible

20:49

but then also the next one where she's sort

20:52

of almost up on her haunches like shaking

20:54

herself around. It's just yeah and it was

20:56

like it was like her whole body was

20:58

vibrating. I genuinely didn't know how you get

21:00

much that much sort of back

21:03

and forth in let's let's be

21:05

fair the bum the bum area.

21:07

It was like wow yeah. To

21:10

be fair if I saw it. Never seen it

21:12

live. Never seen that live. Oh. John

21:15

have you brought something sweet in for a Grammy? Do

21:17

you know I sort of have. I moved to

21:20

a house where I live

21:22

alone and my neighbour also lives

21:24

alone and she is my dear friend

21:26

Thelma. She's my surrogate grandma and

21:29

in lockdown we became very close

21:32

and she would do my sort of mending for

21:34

me like sewing and I would do her shopping

21:36

for her and I've got

21:39

what was always her shopping order for

21:41

a treat which is a bottle

21:44

of wine a bar of chocolate and against

21:46

my better judgment 20 cigarettes.

21:51

I mean I guess that's kind of sweeter isn't

21:53

it? It is and that's how I want to

21:55

be living when I'm that

21:57

age. Slut dropping with that. She's not.

22:00

What's slip dropping? No, no, no, not slip

22:02

dropping. Um... Oh,

22:05

I would demonstrate, but I can't slip drop.

22:08

Of course I can't. Did

22:12

you know many of the other contestants before you

22:14

started the show? Did I

22:16

know that? I knew Steve a

22:18

little bit, but I'd never met Nick. I

22:21

met John a couple of times at Edinburgh Festival, but

22:23

not really. And Joanna met for

22:25

the first time, but we had a whale.

22:27

All of us had a whale. It was

22:30

lovely. It's a lovely group, actually. It

22:32

really seems like a lovely group. That

22:34

felt like a group who could go on to be

22:36

a friendship group. You all bring something different to the

22:38

friendship group, I think. Yeah, definitely. Well,

22:40

me and Joanne brought a lot of wine.

22:43

We were in the green room afterwards. It's

22:46

getting sizzled most evenings. It was fabulous. Has

22:48

the series gone on? You probably noticed we

22:50

both look a bit more knackered as the

22:52

series goes on. That's good, because when I

22:54

did the show, there was always the green

22:56

room drinks after. And I probably always just

22:58

had one too many. It did affect

23:00

my performance for the rest of the thing, I think. Yeah,

23:03

but it's fun, though, isn't it? Because you want to have a

23:05

laugh and connect with people. And we did

23:08

get a chance to do that. And Steve's

23:10

lovely. He's actually been in Alma. And

23:12

so has Nick Mohammed, actually. So

23:15

that's been nice. The Northern comedy

23:17

and Matthew are all looking after each other. I know.

23:19

Well, it was quite nice. I was sat between

23:22

them. It's a bit like sitting between Wallace and

23:24

Grandma. It was just a lovely

23:26

atmosphere with two people going, oh, yes, well done.

23:28

Oh, yes, well done. They're just lovely. Nick

23:32

is such a delightful man. He's so

23:34

sweet. Were you all so happy Nick

23:36

was there because on most occasions, he

23:38

somehow seems to do worse than you?

23:40

Yeah, it was great. It was a

23:42

good camaraderie to have an idiot with you,

23:44

to have a fellow idiot. And also, when

23:47

one of you gets a point, it's like

23:49

both of you have done it. When he

23:51

won, it was like, we've done it. It

23:54

was genuinely lovely that I think that there

23:56

was there was a moment where I think

23:58

Nick got Nick did well. and you

24:00

were really happy. And Greg said,

24:02

what are you doing? You've done rubbish. And

24:04

you're like, no, but me and Nick are

24:07

sort of a bad team. So Nick does

24:09

what I do. Yeah, you feel it. Yeah.

24:11

It's like, finally, victory is ours. Did

24:14

you enjoy doing the show, Sophie? I mean, from

24:16

our perspective, it seems like you were, but yeah,

24:18

did you enjoy it? I loved it. Yeah, it's

24:20

the most fun, isn't it? Of all the things

24:22

to do, everyone says it, don't they?

24:24

It's the most fun thing to do. And it really

24:27

was, I mean, it's just basically being a kid, isn't

24:29

it? Just being a child

24:31

and getting paid for it. Yeah, I mean, it

24:33

is the most fun. You're totally right. I

24:36

mean, you say being a kid, you've done

24:38

a lot of slut dropping. Oh, yeah. Yeah,

24:42

I've done quite a bit of that. I think

24:44

I intimidated Greg and Alex, but that only fueled

24:46

me more. Yeah. You know, it's

24:48

like sexual intimidation. It just, you

24:51

know. Did

24:53

you know you were going to do so much slut dropping when

24:55

you went into the show, where you're like, I know this is

24:57

a skill and I know I can pull this out the bag.

24:59

But to be honest, I never know when I'm going to slut

25:01

drop, but it happens more than I'd like it to. How

25:04

often are we talking? Oh,

25:06

well, I end up Cardi Bing, as

25:08

I say, listening to

25:10

Cardi B in the kitchen at least

25:12

once a week, when

25:15

I basically end up sort of twerking in the kitchen

25:17

in my underwear about once a week. John goes to

25:19

bed, my partner is like, oh, I'm going to bed,

25:21

I'll see you tomorrow. Ha

25:23

ha ha. Ha ha ha. Now,

25:36

John, can we talk about this spreadsheet, please?

25:39

Because you've mentioned to me that

25:41

you have this spreadsheet. Was this, it's

25:43

a list of every task that you did, and

25:45

is it what you predicted that you might get

25:47

before the studio shows? You'd like to

25:50

think it was that simple. So

25:52

it did start because when you're doing the

25:55

tasks, you're doing multiple tasks a day. And

25:59

basically it just... must

30:00

come out of the top hole, your head may not

30:02

enter the dome, the door must remain closed, fastest wins,

30:04

your time starts now, and the

30:06

cat obviously goes by the name, Patatas. Now

30:09

Steve, your first action here was to try and open

30:11

the door, which really made me laugh. Yes,

30:14

I know. What? I

30:16

mean, it's just, I'm

30:18

quite a logical person, you know, and I'm

30:21

quite good at these

30:23

kinds of puzzley things, but it

30:26

was one of the very first tasks that I filmed.

30:29

I don't know if it's the same for everybody, but

30:31

my head wasn't quite in the game yet. And

30:33

thank God Alex stopped me. Otherwise, I

30:36

could have been disqualified straight away for

30:38

something that I ended up doing quite well in. But

30:42

yeah, I didn't, I was just trying to

30:44

compute, you've got to find the cat. I

30:47

didn't get that it was one of those

30:49

grabber games, that it was a giant version

30:51

of a grabber game. So yeah,

30:53

thankfully, Alex helped me out, I think because he

30:55

was one of the first tasks I

30:58

done. That is interesting, because yeah,

31:00

when I saw him help you

31:02

out, my first thought was

31:04

he doesn't normally do that. If someone if someone

31:06

immediately breaks the rules, he will just let them

31:08

do it because it is funny. But

31:11

it makes sense that if it's one of the first tasks, he

31:13

just wants to make sure everyone's across

31:15

how the show works. Absolutely.

31:17

And reading all of the rules. But

31:20

I'm sure you know yourself, you know, when something has

31:22

got three parts to it, when you're reading out, by

31:24

the time you got to the last one, you've already

31:27

forgotten the first one. What the

31:29

tricks that this show plays on your brain

31:32

are amazing. So yeah,

31:35

I all the people said to me in preparation,

31:37

you know, who were fans of the show, make

31:39

sure you read it, read it twice, think about

31:41

it, take a beat. And I'm so you don't

31:43

have to tell me that I'm absolutely going to

31:46

do that. What do I do first task? I'd

31:48

have been marauding in there, just coming out

31:51

with the car going, okay, now I do.

31:53

So nearly a big fail. Nearly very nearly,

31:58

but it was actually a huge fail. victory

32:00

for you very, very quick.

32:02

You go and get a big hook, big hook

32:04

for a big job, you say, and

32:07

get the cat and flick it

32:09

out the top, which is very, very impressive. John

32:13

spends too long trying to find the

32:15

workaround, which is a shame, and he

32:18

gets it, he finds the grabber, which,

32:21

so John's obviously been watching a lot of this

32:23

show. It feels like he's done his revision. If

32:25

this was one of the first tasks, he's immediately

32:28

deconstructing the boxing glove and finding the grabber.

32:31

Did that ever occur to you that there

32:33

might be little tricks like that behind some

32:35

of the tasks? Oh,

32:37

I absolutely knew there would be. And,

32:41

you know, like I say, I haven't seen a

32:44

lot of the episodes, but I'll tell you one thing

32:46

I did do, I feel a bit stupid

32:49

about this now, but because I've seen an episode

32:52

where they'd created an escape room and you

32:54

had to find a grape. Remember

32:56

that one? I think that was it. Dara

32:58

O'Brien series. I think it was, yeah, yeah,

33:01

yeah. I was in

33:03

the little dressing room in the house and there

33:05

was a bowl of fruit and I thought, do

33:07

you know what, I'm gonna have a grape in

33:09

my pocket for every single

33:11

task, just in case they

33:15

do a similar thing. I thought, well,

33:17

I'm not gonna put a banana or an apple

33:19

in there, it'll be too bulky, but just in

33:21

case there's a thing where you

33:23

have to find a grape, I'm gonna go, boom, found it.

33:26

That's so funny Steve. That's

33:28

so funny. What

33:30

are the chances that we do another

33:32

task and find a

33:34

grape? No, and I

33:36

did it on three different days as well. So

33:41

when we're watching you on Taskmaster, the

33:43

chances are you've got a grape in

33:46

your pocket. Yeah, I

33:48

don't know if there's any shots. I'll have to

33:50

have a good look and see if there's a

33:52

little bulge inside. It's

33:56

a grape, folks. I

34:00

just doubt that over the past few

34:02

minutes of watching everybody else's, I've been

34:04

having a very slow-level heart attack because

34:06

I thought, did you remember to take

34:08

it out of the top hole? You'll

34:10

be thrilled here you did probably have

34:12

the right hole. I missed, yeah, I'm

34:14

panicking. But unfortunately... What? ..I do have

34:16

to disqualify you. No! What? No,

34:19

I'm only joking. Oh, my God!

34:25

I'm actually sweating! There

34:29

is slight extra news over... No!

34:31

We did heavily edit that. You

34:34

got very suspicious, first of all, that there was no cat at all. Then

34:37

you thought the boxing glove might be a distraction. Then you opened the

34:39

grabber, then you went to the shed to look for a hook, and

34:42

then you came back. Your total time was three minutes 24, which

34:45

is actually one minute slower than Steve's. So

34:49

the actual timings, Sophie gets one point, obviously. Two to Joanne, three

34:51

to Nick, four to John, but

34:54

five in the end to Steve Pymkin. Task

34:58

one. These tasks are getting more and more involved.

35:02

Flick, flip and flap a flip-flop, flan

35:04

and flapjack. You may only flick, flip

35:06

and flap once. Farthest flipped, flipped and

35:09

flapped, flip-flop, flan and flapjack finishes first.

35:11

You have 15 minutes. Your

35:13

time starts now. Very confusing.

35:15

Yeah, very confusing. It took you a

35:17

while to spot that flif-deen, Sophie. It

35:20

took me too long. It

35:22

took me way too long. I

35:24

think I've been like Forrest Gump on this show.

35:27

I've just not quite... I

35:29

just seem to be quite behind

35:31

what's happening and then occasionally winging

35:33

it, you know? I mean, you

35:36

said that I would like to see Forrest Gump

35:38

on Taskmaster. Yeah. It'd be

35:40

great that, wouldn't it? He'd do really well, actually,

35:42

wouldn't he? By accident. I think he'd do

35:44

really well. Like if it was just one of

35:46

the straightforward do this, do this tasks with no

35:48

sort of creative interpretation. I'm thinking

35:51

of the scene when he's in the army

35:53

and he strips the gun down super fast and puts it

35:55

all back together. He does what he's told very well.

35:57

So he does what he does. Oh, he's got all

35:59

the. told you, he just carried them. But

36:02

then he was a ping pong champion. Yeah. He'd

36:05

be brilliant. He'd be really good. He'd

36:07

be the best contestant we've had. So

36:11

do you want to revise your assertion that you've felt

36:13

like Forrest Gump on the show? Yeah.

36:15

Maybe I'm not as good as Forrest Gump

36:18

on this show. This

36:23

was obviously the task was written to look

36:25

more difficult than it was. Alex was

36:27

just pissing about with Flifteen minutes and flip, flip and

36:29

flop. He just has too much fun, doesn't he, in

36:31

his little bedroom on his own. He

36:35

can see him, can't he? Yeah. He's

36:37

magnically laughing as he puts Flifteen because

36:39

he knows. All excited.

36:41

Yeah. But I

36:43

would say that when you break this one down, you

36:45

look at it and you get

36:47

past the fact there's so many flus, it's

36:50

pretty straightforward. You've got to flick

36:52

one thing, flip one thing and

36:54

flap one thing. So what

36:57

happened, Sophie? I

37:00

don't know. I think I just thought,

37:02

oh, I just flick it then. I just didn't think

37:05

it through. I just

37:07

should have thought it through. When I saw

37:09

Steve jumping on the

37:11

plank and really going, I

37:13

thought, oh yeah, I fucked it here then. It

37:18

was something that's happened to you a few times

37:20

on the show where you read the task and

37:22

then you do it straight away. So even when

37:24

there's, you need to think, and if you do

37:27

have 15 or 15 minutes,

37:30

then that shows that you've got time to come

37:32

up with something. You've done tasks where

37:34

you get them in a room and then you look at them and

37:37

then you just do it straight away. I'm thinking of

37:39

standing on a chair, one leg in the air and

37:41

hissing like a snake rather than explore. I

37:43

think that was quite frightening.

37:46

It was supposed to

37:48

be, wasn't it? Was it supposed to be scary?

37:51

I can't remember that. Tense. It was tense. Tense.

37:53

It was definitely tense. If you'd have been in

37:55

that room, the cameraman didn't look comfortable. Look,

37:59

I have no idea. No doubt that the camera

38:01

didn't look comfortable, but I

38:03

guess it's what Greg considers to be

38:05

tense. Oh, you see, you

38:07

forget about Greg when you're there, don't you?

38:09

You're just thinking about awkward Alex. It's a

38:11

lot easier to make tense. I mean, he's

38:14

naturally uncomfortable. He's tense all of the time,

38:16

isn't he? So yeah. Yes, I should have

38:18

thought Greg, shouldn't I? Yeah. I

38:20

mean, what you did do with the standing on

38:22

one leg and hissing is instantly created a gif.

38:25

Oh, God. And you're creating gifts every

38:27

day of this show and it's fantastic to

38:29

see. I know, I don't know what happened

38:31

really, but I did have a lovely break

38:33

because I finished it in a couple of

38:35

minutes. Yeah. And I went back to the

38:38

costume room and chatted with the makeup woman,

38:40

Chrissie, for hours. Yeah. We

38:42

had a lovely time. An extra 15 minutes and

38:44

I had a siggy. So it was quite a

38:47

nice break actually. Well,

38:50

while I would recommend anyone have a long

38:52

chat with Chrissie, she's a fantastic lady. I

38:54

would say that you can probably spare 15 minutes

38:57

to do the task. Yeah, I agree actually. Yeah.

39:00

Yeah. Task

39:09

two, take the most dramatic photo of

39:11

yourself in mid-air. You have 15 minutes and

39:14

may take five photos. Your time starts

39:16

now. This was a great

39:19

task, I thought. This really lets people get

39:21

into creativity. I think you're incredibly creative in this.

39:23

I don't think you were thinking inside the box

39:25

for this one at all. Really?

39:28

This was the bride who'd been jilted at the audience

39:30

and was trying to throw herself off the top of

39:32

a building. Yeah, that to me, Joanne,

39:34

I don't know why you think that's inside the box.

39:36

I don't think anyone else would have thought of a

39:39

bride with a knife through her head jumping off the top of a

39:41

building. Who'd had laser eye

39:43

surgery that morning. Yeah.

39:47

Like, this is a busy woman, do you know what I mean?

39:49

Well, what they took, I'm sure what they asked me

39:51

not to include was she was pregnant. This

39:58

is why we do the podcast. for these

40:00

exclusives. Yeah, so it was basically

40:02

there was two of us going off that building

40:05

and they said, we're not comfortable with that one.

40:08

And I think that would have done a little bit

40:10

better, you know, because it's more shocking.

40:12

Yeah, yeah. It's definitely more shocking. Yeah,

40:14

for sure. It's a jump. It's a

40:16

jump. It's a suicide and a murder. See,

40:20

this is the love of true crime coming in,

40:23

isn't it? Exactly. Yeah. If there's

40:25

two, actually, no, I can't say that. I can't say that. I

40:27

was going to say if there's two involved, it's worse. But

40:30

they were like, we're not Joanna. They hung

40:32

and heard about it. They really did give it some

40:35

deep consideration. And they said, we just think

40:37

it's... We just think that. Too

40:39

dark, actually. Too dark. Too dark. Too dark. She's

40:43

been jilted. She's like, I'm not doing this alone. Yeah,

40:46

no, I mean, fair enough. And what a story. It

40:49

sort of had some kill bill vibes to it

40:51

as well with a sort of bride. The

40:54

sort of bride is they've

40:56

tried to kill her, that sort of thing. It

40:58

was good. It had a sort of Tarantino-esque edge

41:00

to it. I liked it. I thought it was

41:02

great. And also, there is some

41:04

romance in it. In

41:06

a way. In a way. It's like

41:08

bringing some love into it and stuff. I was happy

41:10

with that. I really was, actually, until I saw everyone

41:13

else. Sophie's was the

41:15

best now on that one, for sure. Well,

41:17

Sophie got the five points. But I mean, you got four

41:19

points. You did very, very well in this task. Yeah,

41:22

Sophie's, I still... I was surprised

41:25

and a bit disappointed that no one

41:28

asked Sophie why she did that. There seemed

41:30

to be no suggestion of anything. Any

41:35

thought process as to why she put Alex in

41:37

a pigeon. Or she said she always wanted to

41:39

put Alex in a pigeon mask. And then she

41:41

was bouncing on a trampoline, pouring milk from a

41:43

teapot onto Alex's head. There was

41:45

no... Was there any logic explained in the studio?

41:47

Was that maybe cut out the edit? I

41:50

mean, there was... Did she say...

41:52

She told us she thought it looked like the front

41:54

of an album cover, which I agreed with. Or did

41:56

Greg say it. Someone said it was wrong. I

41:59

was actually... I was like, where the fuck, can

42:01

I swear on this? Yeah, yeah, go for

42:03

it. I was like, where the fuck did she find

42:05

those pigeon masks? I would have loved them. I

42:08

was like, Sophie, are you hiding them from me? Where are

42:10

they? She was the net. After

42:13

Sophie had used it, they probably thought, we don't

42:16

want everyone using the pigeon head. It's gonna be

42:18

so iconic. Yeah, it's been done. Sophie's like, yeah,

42:20

it's been done. It's her calling card.

42:22

Yeah. It's her calling card. It's just her plastic pigeon

42:25

head. But her as well, it turned out to be,

42:27

see, I think the lads overthought this one a bit

42:29

much to be honest, no. So

42:31

it was four points for Steve, four points for

42:33

John, four points for you, five points for Sophie,

42:36

and very harshly, one point for Nick. But

42:39

his rolling down in tires

42:41

to hit a load of

42:43

baked bean cans, at

42:45

what point did he think that that was him in

42:47

mid-air? Greg says it.

42:49

He couldn't have been less in mid-air. Because

42:56

you're not just not in mid-air. You're on

42:58

the ground. You're on the ground, which

43:00

is the opposite of the air. And

43:03

he was trapped in those tires. And he

43:06

put a plank in there to make himself even

43:08

snugger. So he wasn't moving at all. He could

43:10

never have been in mid-air. We

43:12

were all out to impress at that stage. We were like,

43:14

what am I missing here? There's

43:17

something they want that I don't understand. Yeah,

43:19

I know. I mean, we've spoken to Nick

43:21

on the podcast last week. And he admitted

43:23

to us that he thought he'd done much

43:25

better than he actually did. So with

43:28

this, and you can sort of see it

43:30

in his eyes with this task as well.

43:32

I think he thought he'd done brilliantly while

43:34

it was happening, that he was in mid-air.

43:36

But did he misread the task? Did he

43:38

have just the wrong idea completely? It's incredible.

43:40

Yeah, well, like Nick, there's one coming up

43:43

later in the series where I really don't

43:45

understand the task and go in a very

43:47

different direction, we'll say. And

43:50

thought I'd absolutely nailed it. But

43:53

that is the joy of Taskmaster, that everyone will always have

43:55

at least one of those. Nick

43:58

seems to be having more than average. Can

44:03

you justify to me that you were in mid-air,

44:05

Nick? You know when you put just a few

44:07

things in a washing machine and it's going to

44:09

run quite slow, there is a moment where they

44:11

sort of suspend as it's kind of... Yes, of

44:13

course, they are technically in mid-air, so that's what

44:15

you were hoping for. The way I interpreted it

44:18

was I was watching a father of three

44:20

rammed into some tyres, being

44:22

pushed into some baked bean cans. That was

44:24

very tired. What

44:28

a task. Catch the most monsters in your

44:30

boxes. The monsters must propel themselves from the

44:32

table. Most monsters in boxes after two minutes

44:34

wins. What

44:37

a task. I love

44:39

to do that task. I could see you really

44:41

enjoying this one, Lou. Oh,

44:43

yeah, I would have. Oh, that was

44:45

such a lovely task. Oh,

44:47

God. I suppose there's nothing

44:50

to stop me strapping a couple of boxes to my

44:52

limbs and buying some of the monsters.

44:55

I guess I imagine that

44:58

you would do that in real life.

45:00

I'm looking forward to getting a group

45:02

WhatsApp saying, oh, I've organised catching

45:04

monsters in boxes. This

45:07

is why I think I want to adopt children, because

45:09

it'd be so fun to play those sort of games

45:12

with them, you know? Yes. Yeah, I

45:14

think you'd be a very fun mum

45:16

if you adopted some children and started playing games

45:19

like this. At the same time, I can't be

45:21

bothered. You know what I mean? You

45:24

should definitely listen to that voice. I don't think

45:26

you ignore that. Yeah,

45:30

it feels a bit like moving house. Why

45:32

would you bother? Well, this game

45:35

would make moving house easier if you put all

45:37

the boxes on your limbs and throw all your

45:39

stuff in the air. Also, I noticed that you

45:42

have two cats who discussed it already

45:44

and you put the word out for

45:46

a pet psychic, recently, Lou. Yes, I

45:48

did. Okay, so I was

45:50

on the phone to my accountant. Well, I tried

45:52

to call my accountant. They were busy. So I

45:55

got the receptionist. We had a lovely chat and

45:57

she said, have you watched Pet Psychics on Channel

45:59

5? I said, my lover haven't, she said, well

46:01

I really would recommend. And

46:03

I phoned the accountant saying, should I buy

46:06

a small patch of land in Glasgow for

46:08

£6? She said, the receptionist said, do

46:13

you live near Glasgow? I said, no, I live in London.

46:15

She went, I wouldn't recommend it. And she

46:17

said, well, you got to travel all the way to Glasgow. I said,

46:20

no, I was just going to leave it there, you know, accumulation.

46:22

And she was like, no, I wouldn't recommend. Anyway,

46:24

then she got onto pet psychics. I said, I

46:27

haven't watched it. She said, yeah, yeah, they understand

46:29

everything. Then I spoke to Lucy Pearman, who told

46:31

me about her cousin and a very life affirming

46:33

story about a dog who

46:36

the woman did get a pet psychic round, the

46:38

dog and her never been close. So it really

46:40

did get rid of any resentment that she might

46:43

have had towards the dog when the husband left

46:45

anyway. And then I

46:47

thought, God, well, Bob, I've made some terrible

46:49

jokes to Bob. Like, you know, let's let

46:51

him outside and whatever happens happens after he

46:53

pissed on the bed and stuff. And like,

46:55

he's not my favorite one. So

46:57

I felt so terrible. So I sat him down for a

46:59

chat. Well, he was having his dinner.

47:01

And I said, Bob, we need to have a

47:03

heart to heart. And I

47:05

spoke to him so from the heart and just said,

47:07

Look, I don't have any favorites. I love you both

47:09

exactly the same so much. Told him

47:12

how dear he was to me. He looked up from his

47:14

bowl for the

47:16

entire two minutes of my chat. And

47:18

then he seemed to nod at me the end. And then it was

47:21

back to his dinner after. Yeah. And then it

47:24

was back to his dinner after the chat. And

47:26

let me tell you, me and Bob have been

47:28

inseparable. Well, I'm out now, but I'm not in

47:30

the house. But when I'm in the house, we're

47:33

inseparable. Yeah. And he hasn't pissed anywhere. Well, that's

47:35

good. That's good. Yeah, that's fantastic. That's just what

47:37

I wanted when when I brought that up. That's

47:39

exactly what I wanted from you, Lou. Just, you

47:42

know, mind how you go. Thank you. Joanne does

47:44

not do well at this. It's one point. Nick

47:47

cheats, which is very I couldn't believe Nick

47:49

cheated. How do we feel about that, though?

47:51

You want something from me that. No,

47:57

because he's cheeky. He's not squeaky.

48:00

He's got enough cheek to make him the

48:02

charismatic magician that we know him to be.

48:04

Oh, magicians cheat all the goddamn time. They

48:06

all like that career. That's true. Sophie,

48:09

of course, true to style, knocks over her in high

48:11

podium, so they all go on the floor. Steve

48:15

also is Dr. Point because he doesn't get one

48:17

in the last second. And John, of course, gets

48:20

the most five points. I

48:23

mean, John works out now. He's more

48:25

flexible. The

48:29

golf might have come in handy.

48:31

No, no, maybe. He's probably got a good eye

48:33

for these things. So

48:35

it's five points for John, four points for Steve, three points

48:37

for Sophie, two points for Nick and one point for John.

48:39

Well, John's a sportsman at

48:42

his core. He's a sportsman. Thanks

48:49

for listening to The Best Of. Don't forget,

48:51

Tars Master New Zealand podcasts are coming very

48:54

soon. We'll be back next week with another

48:56

Best Of series 17 episode. But for now,

48:58

I've been Ed Gamble. Bye bye.