0:01

Your actions are what creates

0:03

how you feel . So

0:06

don't wait around to feel ready . If you don't

0:08

feel ready and you just feel like that readiness isn't

0:10

coming , that's okay . Do

0:13

it instead so that

0:15

you feel ready . Action

0:17

begets , action begets momentum

0:20

. This is intentionally breaking

0:22

, intentionally breaking the link in the chain and

0:24

intentionally putting yourself into

0:26

the movement of that upward spiral

0:28

. Hello

0:32

, my loves , and welcome to the Purposeful Lifestyle

0:35

Development Podcast , where we discuss all

0:37

things thought , work and manifestation but

0:39

we use neuroscience and the study of the

0:41

brain to do so . I'm your host , tessa

0:44

Spiesak . I'm a board certified practitioner

0:46

, master life and health coach and seasoned

0:49

executive speaker . If you're ready to

0:51

create your highest value lifestyle

0:53

and turn your dream life into a reality , you're

0:55

in the right place . Let's get right in to

0:57

today's episode . Hello

1:01

, hello , my loves , and welcome back to the

1:03

Purposeful Lifestyle Development Podcast

1:06

. If you're here every week , I so

1:08

appreciate you more than you know being part

1:10

of this conversation , and if this is

1:12

the first time you've tuned in , welcome

1:15

. Don't forget to hit subscribe so

1:17

that you can stick around as we

1:19

continue this conversation to come

1:21

. And today I

1:23

want to talk about a concept that really

1:26

, really changed my life , and not to be dramatic

1:28

or anything , and I don't mean

1:31

that in a crazy clickbait

1:33

type of way , but I do genuinely

1:35

mean that it's something that

1:38

I've kept with me as a

1:40

pillar of how I conduct

1:42

my life . I don't walk you through it . I

1:45

think most of us have heard of this pattern of

1:47

your thoughts create your feelings

1:50

, your feelings create your actions

1:52

and your actions create your lifestyle

1:54

. Then your lifestyle becomes

1:57

your reality Kind of the premise of

1:59

this show . Right ? You

2:01

think your thoughts over and over again until you

2:03

assign some truth to them

2:05

, even subconsciously , and they become

2:08

your beliefs . Then your beliefs

2:10

create the lens through which

2:12

you interpret the whole world around you

2:15

, and your brain loves to prove you right

2:17

, so it will filter through all the things

2:19

that you see and perceive to help

2:21

you do so . And that's

2:23

why thought work is so important and

2:25

something that I hammer on consistently

2:28

. But today we're

2:30

talking about the actions

2:32

that we take that really helped

2:34

shift our reality , and I'm obviously

2:37

clearly jumping right in no

2:39

background story . No , hi , hello , how are

2:41

you ? Let's just go . But I

2:43

want to paint the picture for you . You

2:45

know we all have those days

2:48

, we all have them , where you're just

2:50

like not

2:53

feeling it . You aren't feeling it . That

2:55

day , this day , is not your day . Maybe

2:58

you slept crappy , so immediately

3:00

when you wake up , you're already not

3:02

off to a good start . Maybe something

3:04

happens or something doesn't happen

3:07

and , such as life , you

3:09

just don't feel like it . You

3:11

don't feel like doing the things . Maybe

3:14

you planned on doing the thing that

3:16

moves the needle for you , you planned on

3:18

working out , you planned on

3:20

checking that nagging thing off the to-do

3:22

list , you planned on honoring your body

3:25

with some movement , or you

3:27

were going to do the workout that makes you feel good . Right , make

3:29

the meal from the healthy ingredients that

3:31

you know you deserve and gives you lots of energy

3:34

. Whatever the case , but

3:37

life is life and sometimes

3:39

we just don't feel

3:41

like it . But this is

3:44

where we get a choice , and it

3:46

doesn't always feel like a choice in the moment

3:48

, but the choice is there and it's there for

3:50

us to make , and we get to choose

3:52

to one listen

3:55

to how we feel and allow that to dictate

3:57

what we do , or

4:00

we do

4:02

and allow that to dictate

4:04

how we feel . Hear

4:06

me out . We tend to do things as

4:08

humans that continue

4:10

us into more of whatever

4:13

state we are in . So

4:16

when you're feeling great , full of energy

4:18

. The sun is on your face , you got plenty

4:21

of sleep , breakfast was perfect . You know

4:23

your vitamins are doing what

4:25

you want them to do . That's when

4:27

we feel our best and we start to

4:29

do things that continue

4:31

that high flying feeling . We

4:34

use that energy to knock out our to-do

4:36

list , which makes us feel more on top

4:39

of life . We hit the workout

4:41

that gives even more endorphins

4:43

and feel good hormones . You

4:45

eat the healthy meal , because why would you eat something

4:47

crappy that weighs you down when you're already flying

4:50

so high . You know you work on your passion

4:52

project because you feel that fire

4:54

in your belly and then it continues

4:56

to ignite that fire . It's

4:59

a beautiful upward spiral of momentum

5:01

that really feels like

5:03

the best flow state of your life

5:06

and we love it when it works

5:08

out that way . But

5:10

if we allow our feelings to

5:12

dictate how we move about

5:14

, you realize the same thing can

5:16

happen in the other direction , right

5:19

? Something happens . So

5:21

we don't feel good , we don't feel

5:23

our best , so maybe we sleep

5:25

in that day , keep snoozing , so we don't have

5:27

to deal with it , don't have to think about it . And

5:30

now we have a stressful , busy morning , or

5:33

maybe we feel down and tired , so

5:35

we skip the movement , which

5:37

then makes you feel more down and

5:39

tired because you're just sitting there or

5:42

you ignore the phone call from the friend that

5:44

usually makes you feel good when you talk to them

5:46

because you're just not feeling so

5:48

hot right now . And all of these

5:50

things they make us feel

5:53

worse . We have a tendency to

5:55

lean into whatever we

5:57

are feeling and whatever feeling we have

5:59

in that moment . So

6:02

it can be great when we're feeling like we're

6:04

flying high , just not

6:06

a problem in the world , but not

6:08

so much otherwise , and

6:10

it can start a really vicious

6:12

cycle that feels awful

6:15

. So I want to introduce

6:17

you to something that , like I said , really

6:19

changed my life for the better when

6:21

I learned what words to use for it and

6:23

how to really put it into action . Behavioral

6:26

action therapy and

6:29

behavioral action therapy . It's just

6:31

a title , it's a subset of cognitive

6:33

behavioral therapy , but it's

6:35

actually super , super

6:37

successful for people in either

6:39

treating or helping to treat situational

6:42

or even clinical depression

6:44

. It's not just depression , but anxiety

6:47

disorders and a host of different disorders

6:49

. It's a real therapy

6:51

that has seen so much success

6:54

and it's not hard . I

6:56

mean , it's a simple concept , right

6:58

? We've talked about the difference between simple and

7:00

easy and , like I said , honestly

7:02

, for me , this helps me

7:05

feel like I am in

7:07

control of my brain and my life

7:09

and just more together

7:12

with myself and my life

7:14

. And

7:16

it is an approach to mental health and

7:19

basically the premise is it focuses

7:21

on behaviors that activate

7:24

pleasant emotions , rather

7:26

than following on what actions

7:28

our feelings tell us to take in

7:31

that moment . So , like I said , maybe

7:33

a longer title , but really simple concept

7:36

of do the things that ignite

7:38

the pleasure , do the things that make

7:40

you feel better , even when you

7:42

really don't feel like it , and

7:45

I do need , need , need . This is very important . So

7:47

please listen here , pay attention here . I need to make

7:49

this super clear . This

7:51

is not about not feeling your

7:53

feelings . This is not about ignoring your

7:55

feelings . This is not some kind of spiritual

7:58

bypass . It's nothing like that . I

8:00

still want you to and you still need to

8:02

feel your feelings , but

8:04

it's about recognizing

8:06

when those feelings are keeping

8:09

you stuck , they're making you feel

8:12

an act in a way that makes you feel more

8:14

unmotivated and lethargic

8:16

, and when you are feeling low

8:18

and you no longer want to feel

8:20

that way , when you know you want

8:22

this change and you want to feel better . This

8:25

is how it starts , with

8:27

the cycle and recognizing the cycle

8:30

that we don't want to continue . So

8:32

when we feel low , we aren't

8:35

so motivated to do things or we

8:37

stop doing the things that matter and

8:39

make us feel better . So the

8:41

next step of the cycle is we get a little

8:43

less out of life , or at least we feel

8:46

like we're getting less out of life . That

8:48

leads to us feeling low , which leads

8:50

to further ingraining , not having the energy

8:52

to do what matters to us . So

8:54

then we feel like we're getting less out of life and

8:56

feel lower . And then it happens again

8:59

and again and again , and we move further

9:01

from the goal post . So now sprinkle

9:03

in some dread and some anxiety

9:05

, because maybe this is going on for a

9:07

while . The to-do list is getting longer

9:10

, the timespan has been longer . You

9:12

get the picture . What we need

9:14

to do is find where

9:16

to break the link right

9:18

. So there's only three plots here we

9:21

feel low , then we

9:23

stop feeling motivated to do the things that make us

9:25

feel better , so we stop doing the thing . We

9:27

feel like we have less out of life , so we feel

9:29

low , we do less . We

9:32

have to find where to break the link

9:34

, and that is by doing

9:36

the things that matter to you , not

9:38

listening to the voice in your head that says you can't

9:41

, or it won't feel good or whatever

9:43

, and just do the things that matter , the

9:45

little things . This can be the small things

9:47

. This doesn't even have to be getting out of your house

9:50

. It can take two minutes

9:52

. This is putting away what you

9:54

use today so that you have a clean space tomorrow . It's

9:56

doing the dishes , throwing your clothes in the laundry

9:59

. These can be the most simple

10:01

base pieces of self

10:03

care here . But you do the things

10:05

that matter . And when you do the things that matter

10:08

, you feel like you get more out of life . So

10:10

then you feel better and you're more

10:12

likely to do again the things

10:14

that matter . So you'll feel better , so

10:17

you'll get more out of life , and then you'll want

10:19

to do the things that add to your life , and

10:21

then you feel better and the cycle

10:23

continues . And now it's continuing

10:25

upwards . And again

10:27

, this doesn't mean changing your life all

10:30

at once . We're having a whole new life tomorrow

10:32

. It's much simpler than

10:34

that . It's recognizing

10:37

that pattern . If it's there for you , notice

10:40

what is causing low feelings , and

10:42

then what do you do , inadvertently

10:44

even , that keeps you stuck

10:46

in that feeling . Next

10:49

, get curious with you

10:51

. With you in that moment . What

10:53

would you prefer to feel ? What's

10:55

the value set that you're reaching for ? What

10:58

are the things that do make you feel better

11:00

? Get a list going how

11:03

do you feel when you feel good ? Or what do

11:05

you do when you feel good ? Write that

11:07

list and then , in the

11:09

moment where you recognize it , when

11:11

you're like , ooh , I feel

11:14

crappy , so I'm really tempted to

11:17

not go out with my friend that I had

11:19

plans with and just canceled dinner , or

11:21

I just wanna sit and doom scroll

11:23

on the couch . Instead of doing

11:25

all the good things that I planned that are

11:27

good for me and helpful for me , I just wanna do

11:30

nothing and isolate myself . Whatever

11:33

response it is that you take , that doesn't

11:35

serve . You find the

11:37

thing that brings you more pleasure

11:39

Maybe it's even the opposite emotion

11:41

, the opposite response and

11:44

actually do it . Do the thing that

11:46

you would do if you felt better in this

11:48

moment , and I promise you will feel better in

11:50

the moment . And here's the big

11:52

one . This is the one thing I really , really

11:54

want you to take away from today is

11:57

that remember that your emotions

11:59

come from your actions , and it's not

12:01

the other way around . Let me

12:03

say this again your actions

12:06

are what creates how you

12:08

feel . So don't wait around

12:10

to feel ready . If you don't feel ready and you just

12:12

feel like that readiness isn't coming

12:14

, that's okay . Do

12:17

it instead so that

12:19

you feel ready . Action

12:21

begets , action begets momentum

12:24

. This is intentionally

12:26

breaking , intentionally breaking the link

12:28

in the chain and intentionally putting

12:30

yourself into the movement of that

12:32

upward spiral . And the

12:34

small , tiny details count the

12:37

little things that you do for you count the

12:39

changes in thought pattern that nobody

12:41

else even knows about . They count the

12:43

times you say no to the

12:45

thing that gives you temporary comfort

12:48

or distraction in favor of a yes

12:50

to the thing that you actually want

12:52

, even when you don't feel like

12:54

it , before you start . This

12:57

is what matters and this is what

12:59

counts . It's true

13:01

that your thoughts create your feelings and your

13:03

feelings create your actions . Your actions

13:05

create your lifestyle and your lifestyle becomes

13:07

your reality . But if you don't watch it

13:10

and you're not careful when

13:12

those thoughts create our feelings

13:14

and those feelings are creating our

13:16

actions , if we get

13:18

stuck in the wrong direction , if we

13:20

start getting stuck in that negative

13:23

spiral , that's where we're not gonna like

13:25

the actions we take , the

13:27

lifestyle that we have created , that reality

13:29

that we're in . So when we talk about creating

13:32

your own reality , this is it

13:34

. This is becoming the person that you want

13:36

to Get clear with you . This isn't

13:38

something that I can directly tell you what

13:41

it is . I can definitely help you figure it

13:43

out and work through it , and you know I will , but

13:45

this is all very personal and very

13:48

personalized to you

13:50

. What makes you

13:52

feel really , within your soul

13:54

, feel better ? How do

13:56

you move and how do you act on your best

13:58

days ? And how can we turn those

14:00

days that aren't so great and aren't so hot

14:03

More like the

14:05

days that you love the most , more like your flow

14:07

state , high , vibrational , just high

14:09

flying states ? And

14:12

this is definitely one way to do it . If you

14:14

get curious , look into it a little more behavioral

14:16

activation theory , of course

14:18

, if you want to work with me on it , you know

14:20

where to find you . I would be honored to be on

14:22

that journey with you . So

14:25

take a look . This week , a next session

14:27

or next episode , I will

14:29

be back talking about my favorite

14:31

ways to actually create

14:34

lasting change . This is my number one way that

14:36

I do it with my patients that do work one-on-one

14:39

with me , and this is the way that I

14:41

do it for myself the easiest

14:43

, most successful ways , and , as

14:45

you guys know , I'm always all about

14:47

. If you ever want to make a change , there's two big

14:49

things you need for it . You got to

14:52

understand it . It has to make sense

14:54

that's why we explain it all here and

14:56

so has to be fun . It has to feel

14:59

really , really good . That's a point of everything

15:01

we're doing here , too , is making you feel

15:03

better within your own life , and

15:05

again , I'm honored to be on that journey with you

15:07

. So , until next time

15:09

, take a look at what's going on

15:12

in your life , take a look at how you're feeling and

15:14

where can we create some sort of

15:16

upward spiral . I can't wait

15:18

to hear about it . Please let me know what's

15:20

going on with you . If this episode

15:23

or this podcast in general has helped you

15:25

out and you haven't given us your five

15:27

star rating and review yet , I would absolutely

15:30

love it . It helps boost our conversation

15:32

in the algorithm so that more people can

15:34

join in . I'd be honored

15:36

and thrilled to see what you like about it and how

15:38

it's helped . So , however , you're listening

15:40

, giving us a review there would

15:42

be great . But to each

15:45

and every one of you listening today , however , and

15:47

wherever you are listening in , you've

15:49

got all my love in the world . But

15:51

all right , my loves , that's where I'll leave us today

15:53

. I wanna thank you so much for joining in on

15:56

this conversation with me , and each

15:58

week , every Monday , we're gonna be posting a new

16:00

episode , going a little bit deeper into

16:02

the conversation , of what you

16:05

can do to train your brain on purpose

16:07

to really allow for the lifestyle

16:09

that you want to live . Until

16:11

next time , my loves . In the meantime , here's

16:13

to your health and your happiness , ière

16:17

geh .