0:01

We already know how the brain works . What

0:03

you focus on , you find and what

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you put your energy into comes back

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to you . Being able to spot and

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collect our glimmers is where we build

0:12

luck . Hello

0:16

, my loves , and welcome to the Purposeful Lifestyle

0:18

Development Podcast , where we discuss all

0:21

things thought , work and manifestation but

0:23

we use neuroscience and the study of the

0:25

brain to do so . I'm your host , tessa

0:28

Spisak . I'm a board-certified practitioner

0:30

, master life and health coach and seasoned

0:32

executive speaker . If you're ready to

0:34

create your highest value lifestyle

0:37

and turn your dream life into a reality , you're

0:39

in the right place . Let's get right into

0:41

today's episode . Hello

0:45

, hello , my loves , and welcome back into

0:47

the Tessa Talks Purposeful Lifestyle

0:49

Development Podcast . If you're new here

0:52

, welcome and don't forget to hit

0:54

subscribe so that you never miss part

0:56

of the conversation and if you

0:58

learn something along the way , I'd be so

1:00

grateful if you left a positive review , as

1:02

it helps others find and join the conversation

1:05

as well . But that being

1:07

said , for those of us who are finally

1:09

coming out of these cold winter months

1:11

, how good has these extra

1:14

few hours of sunlight felt ? We're

1:16

starting to see the trees , see

1:18

the flowers come back to life . We've got

1:20

more color , sunshine , warmth

1:22

. I don't know about you guys , but I needed

1:25

it . It was time . I feel like

1:27

my soul basically just rejuvenates

1:30

in the springtime . I mean , I

1:32

personally totally align with the idea

1:35

that the real new year happens

1:37

right around the spring equinox , because

1:39

that is such a time of new

1:41

life and growth , with everything

1:44

coming back to life , including

1:51

what feels like myself , but that's a story for another day . I just love the feeling

1:53

that comes along with the start of springtime and I think the good thing about

1:55

it is , when we're moving from these

1:57

colder to warmer seasons

1:59

, that shift that we're in , we

2:02

find ourselves doing certain

2:04

things . We're getting outside

2:07

more , we're noticing how pretty

2:09

the new blooms around us are . Maybe

2:11

, instead of chugging our morning

2:13

coffee trying to get some warmth in our bodies

2:16

, maybe we're taking an extra second

2:18

to just savor and enjoy

2:20

it . Go find a patio , go stand

2:22

in your backyard . Maybe , instead

2:25

of running across freezing parking

2:27

lots trying to get out of the cold and the wind , maybe

2:30

we're actually slowing down

2:32

, stopping to literally smell the

2:34

roses . I feel like I personally

2:36

slow down a bit at this time of the year and

2:39

really just take an extra second

2:41

to notice all the beauty that's coming

2:43

back , to feel the warmth

2:45

on my skin , everything in between , and

2:47

I think we all do that to some extent . But

2:50

I do have a point here . I'm not just savoring

2:52

spring , but it made me think

2:55

of this concept because I

2:57

think one reason we all

2:59

tend to feel a little bit better as we're coming into this time

3:01

of year moving away from the winter sadness it's not only all the things this

3:03

time of year moving away from the winter . Sadness

3:05

it's not only all the things I was talking

3:08

about getting out in the sun , getting our vitamin D but

3:10

we also spend a little bit more

3:13

time focusing on one specific

3:15

thing , and that would be

3:17

our glimmers . Now

3:20

, you very well might already have heard of this word

3:22

and this concept . It's been around for about

3:24

half a decade now and

3:26

started getting more popular into

3:28

the discussion of how we

3:31

feel , mental health , mental wellness

3:33

, all of these things . It started getting

3:35

bigger about the last year or two , and

3:38

just so you know the history , the term

3:40

glimmers was actually coined

3:43

by a licensed clinical social worker

3:45

who specialized in complex trauma . Her

3:47

name was Deb Dana and in

3:49

her book in 2018 , she

3:52

wrote the polyvagal theory in

3:54

therapy , and here's a quote that she says

3:56

about glimmers . She

3:58

says that glimmers are micro moments

4:01

that begin to shape our system

4:03

in very gentle ways and

4:05

that glimmers are , in essence , the

4:07

opposite of triggers . It's

4:10

a tiny moment of awe , joy

4:12

or peace that we notice throughout

4:14

the day , that make us feel good . And

4:17

again , note that she said these are

4:19

tiny moments . So

4:22

think of being on a walk

4:24

and petting a happy animal . That

4:26

is one of my favorite things In the trail behind my house

4:28

. All the dogs that are out there literally think

4:30

people come just to pet them

4:33

. And seeing a happy puppy run up to me

4:35

for some pets totally a

4:37

glimmer for me . Maybe this is

4:39

just when your morning

4:41

hot beverage whatever it is , your

4:43

tea , your coffee it tastes

4:45

just right . Maybe you're

4:47

interacting with people , just strangers

4:50

on the street , and they just seem extra nice

4:52

. Maybe they smile at you . Maybe they compliment

4:54

your favorite shoes that you're wearing . Maybe

4:57

you look in the mirror and your outfit

4:59

is outfitting just the way you wanted it

5:01

to Back on the spring vibes

5:03

. Maybe you smell this

5:05

really nice bloom and you notice

5:08

how pretty the flowers are . Maybe

5:10

you hear that guy over there singing

5:12

and just having a really good morning and you feel

5:14

happy for him . Maybe you got

5:17

to see a rainbow , maybe the part

5:19

of traffic that's usually awful just

5:21

flowed really smoothly today and

5:23

as soon as you sat in your car , your favorite jam came

5:25

on . Maybe that old friend that you

5:27

were just thinking about reaches out and says

5:29

something nice to you . T-tiny

5:32

things won't even notice them if you're

5:34

not looking for them , but these are

5:36

called glimmers . They are tiny

5:39

moments , but when we actively

5:41

notice them , we feel this moment

5:43

of joy or calm or

5:45

happiness , and the cool part

5:48

about it is here's our brain talk

5:50

. Here is this literally sends

5:52

cues of safety to your

5:54

nervous system . How cool

5:57

is this ? In doing my research for this episode

5:59

, I was doing some reading and

6:01

in the Newport Institute they described

6:04

this in such a good way . They said , and

6:06

I'm going to quote here triggers activate

6:08

the fight or flight response , which triggers

6:10

the feeling of agitation , anxiety

6:13

, fear , sadness or anger

6:15

within the body . Glimmers

6:17

, on the other hand , produce sensations

6:20

that make you feel calm , joyful

6:23

or grateful , and this is

6:25

where I want you to think about it in the terms of the nervous

6:27

system . When we talk about

6:29

we've got two sides right the sympathetic

6:32

and the parasympathetic nervous

6:34

system . I want you to remember how

6:36

to differentiate these . Remember

6:38

that the sympathetic nervous system is

6:40

just that . It's a sympathetic response

6:43

to the things going on around you and

6:45

it's in a way that triggers a fight or

6:47

flight sensation and

6:49

those reactions within the body . Your

6:52

body is responding just as

6:54

it would to a threat . Now

6:56

let's take the other side . Glimmers

6:58

also stimulate the nervous system

7:01

like a trigger does , but

7:03

essentially in the opposite way . Glimmers

7:06

will stimulate the parasympathetic

7:08

nervous system , which typically just

7:10

refers to that state of homeostasis

7:14

Everything is working as it should , we're not

7:16

in fight or flight and it produces

7:18

that sense of calm and relaxation

7:20

not

7:23

in fight or flight and it produces that sense of calm and relaxation . Now

7:25

remember our girl , deb , said glimmers are micro moments that begin

7:27

to shape our system in very

7:29

gentle ways . And I want to

7:31

throw in a few more powerful quotes from her book

7:33

that really anger in this point for me . I think they'll

7:36

do the same for you . Back to a point

7:38

of the nervous system . She said in her

7:40

book the same for you . Back

7:42

to a point of the nervous system . She said in her book the job of the automatic nervous

7:44

system is to ensure we survive in the moments of danger

7:46

yet thrive in

7:48

the times of safety , survival

7:50

requires threat detection

7:52

and the activation of a survival

7:55

response . Thriving

7:57

demands the opposite

7:59

the inhibition of

8:01

a survival response so that social

8:03

engagement can happen . Without

8:07

the capacity for activation , inhibition

8:09

and flexibility of those responses

8:12

, we suffer . Holy

8:14

crap . That's so good . And just

8:16

to add to that , hopefulness

8:19

lies in knowing that while

8:21

our early experiences shape

8:24

our nervous system , our ongoing

8:26

experiences reshape

8:29

it . So think about it this way If

8:31

the way you were raised , you were

8:33

brought up in society the way you've always been

8:35

, that is going to shape how your nervous system

8:38

responses or , excuse me , responds

8:40

, and what its response is . But

8:43

that doesn't mean it's fixed . We

8:46

can change it and we can reshape it

8:48

, and noticing glimmers is

8:50

a way to do it , but the key

8:52

to that is that it's ongoing . Being

8:55

someone who intentionally picks

8:57

up on glimmers is a practice

8:59

. It's the practice of

9:01

noticing and appreciating glimmers that can

9:03

cue your nervous system to relax

9:06

, which is a legitimate

9:08

way to help promote better mental health

9:10

for yourself as well as us , getting

9:12

into a better vibrational flow

9:14

. And just noticing them more

9:16

and more . Noticing the good , the calm

9:19

, the peaceful , the relaxing them more and more . Noticing

9:21

the good , the calm , the peaceful , the relaxing

9:23

, noticing it more . Where

9:27

can we see something that makes us feel good ? And I think that's the key is noticing

9:29

this as a practice . This isn't one and done . It's

9:32

not where we notice all the good things one

9:34

time and it's life changing , which

9:36

it can be day changing but it's getting

9:39

in the habit of asking yourself

9:41

what are all the good things that

9:43

I can notice about my right now

9:45

, about where I am , what

9:48

I see , what about my right now

9:50

? Deb Dana says setting

9:53

an intention is a way to support my

9:55

new practice . My glimmer

9:57

intention is to look for the glimmers that

9:59

are on my path , just waiting for me

10:01

to find them . I love that . The

10:03

glimmers that are waiting for you to

10:05

find them . So I like

10:07

to ask myself what are all

10:09

the things that make me feel lucky that

10:12

I get to be experiencing right

10:14

now ? What are my blessings over

10:17

all the big ones and the little ones that I can

10:19

see right in front of my face ? Blessings over

10:21

all the big ones and the little ones that I can see right in front of my face . One

10:23

of the best things that I've done for myself is getting in the habit of

10:25

, as soon as I wake up before

10:28

my mind starts going to my to-do list and all

10:30

the other needs to do's throughout the day , I

10:38

interrupt it and think of as many good things as I can , and now this only takes seconds and I really

10:40

do it before I get out of bed half the time before I even open my eyes , but

10:42

I list out as many good things as I can think of . Maybe

10:45

it's my bed is so comfy right now

10:47

. I am so blessed and lucky

10:50

to have this bed and , ah

10:52

, my man , my husband . He's in this

10:54

bed with me . I'm so lucky to have

10:56

someone who's so madly in love with me and

10:58

protects me and cares for me , and

11:01

the man that I love is so peaceful right now . I

11:04

can see the light coming in through the window . Look

11:06

how beautiful the sky is , and I'm

11:08

so lucky to have this view . I

11:11

tried to reminisce a little bit on the day before

11:13

. Maybe our dinner was really

11:15

good . I put a lot of love

11:17

into preparing it . Maybe just

11:19

that I love to do that for my family and

11:21

I'm glad we could have a good conversation and

11:24

a moment to chill on the couch and cuddle , then

11:27

maybe move into the day that I'm about to have

11:29

. I remember , okay , I have the

11:31

meeting with these clients . I love that

11:33

they trust me with their stuff and they

11:35

trust me to be on their journey with them , and

11:37

I bet they have some big wins to tell me about and

11:40

I cannot wait to hear it . Maybe

11:42

I'm meeting a new person , hell yeah

11:44

, this is such an honor and I'm thrilled

11:46

to get to meet them . You

11:48

get the picture . It's

11:52

everything that I can think of in my sleepy little state that I can be grateful

11:54

for that . I could possibly say , hey , I'm really lucky

11:57

for this . I usually call this

11:59

romanticizing your life

12:01

, where you're looking out for

12:03

every possible thing there

12:05

is to be happy about and

12:08

, like I said , I love to do this first thing in the morning

12:10

or as you're falling asleep , because we're utilizing

12:12

the theta brainwave state , which is basically

12:15

classified as slow brain

12:17

activity . This is where creativity

12:19

, intuition , daydreaming and fantasizing

12:22

happens really , really effectively , and

12:25

it's also where we tend to anchor our memories

12:27

, our emotions and the sensations

12:30

we get through the day . So remember

12:32

this theta waves

12:34

are known to be the strongest

12:36

during , of course , right when we're

12:38

waking up and right as we're falling asleep , but

12:41

during intentional focus , during

12:43

meditation , prayer and

12:45

spiritual awareness . So

12:48

sorry for the brainwave tangent , but I really

12:50

wanted to add that in there . I

12:57

just love this habit . It's one of the best things I've ever done for myself . As soon as I wake up , when

12:59

my thoughts start to come in , I've done it enough that it feels

13:01

good and my body likes it , and that's , I

13:04

swear , the only way that I can remember

13:06

to do it , that it's become a habit , that

13:12

it's something I do before I even open my eyes . It's because it's good for me , my body likes it . We're

13:14

tapping into that reward system that we already talked about . But

13:17

running through my gratitude list , man , perfect

13:20

way to start the day , perfect way to end the day , and

13:22

it sets the tone for your day

13:24

. We're starting the day with intentional

13:27

gratitude early , all

13:29

the little glimmers that I can see from my bed , and

13:31

it's just like when the morning starts off wrong

13:33

, like starts off on the wrong foot , so

13:35

to speak . If your morning starts bad

13:37

, maybe you sleep through the alarm , then

13:40

you're in a rush till you stub your toe , then you

13:42

spill your coffee . So you have to change your outfit

13:44

and you don't like this outfit . It's not comfy and

13:46

you're also late and you're annoyed and

13:50

you get it right . I basically

13:52

think of it like the opposite of

13:54

that Starting the practice

13:56

of noticing your glimmers wakes you

13:59

up on the right side of the bed period . That's

14:01

it . And , honestly , I would

14:03

advise even if you're just like how the heck

14:05

am I supposed to think about that ? I'm way too groggy

14:07

. Here's what I would do , then is just

14:09

, honestly , do it anytime

14:11

you think of it , anytime you're outside

14:14

, anytime you want to move

14:16

your thoughts away from something

14:18

that you don't like , instead of getting in that bad

14:20

thought spiral . Just go

14:22

collect some glimmers . Think of it like a game

14:25

, think of some you've seen before . I'd

14:27

also say have a glimmer collecting place

14:30

, have a place that you can go , that

14:32

you know you can find them For

14:34

me . I know where my glimmer collecting place is

14:36

. It's the trail behind my neighborhood

14:38

. It's the one I just mentioned with all the cute

14:40

dogs , but it is full

14:43

of all the glimmers that work

14:45

for me . It's literally in the woods

14:47

, and you have to cross this little bridge over

14:49

the water . It's I sometimes

14:51

call it a river , but it's more like a stream , but

14:54

in any case , every time I go to this park

14:56

, it's over the river and through

14:58

the woods , which I

15:00

just find that delightful . That's so cute to me and

15:03

it's a really beautiful spot . The stream

15:05

has a lot of little rock waterfalls

15:08

that are gorgeous and it really gives

15:10

this zen waterscape soundtrack

15:13

. I swear I could record it and sell it to

15:15

spas . It's amazing . It sounds so good

15:17

and I said , there's always dogs to pet

15:20

. The neighbors are friendly

15:22

and they're happy to meet you . Their dogs are really

15:24

happy to get their head scratched and this park

15:26

isn't a full-on conservatory area

15:28

, but we do have quite a few around

15:30

so it really looks like

15:33

it is . There's lots of plants

15:35

that intentionally attract the wildlife

15:38

. The butterflies , the honeybees and

15:40

come on , butterflies on a flower are

15:42

a treasure and they're everywhere and that feels

15:44

so good to me . But

15:47

, like I said before , these aren't grandiose

15:49

things . They're just the little , small

15:52

things that make our life better and

15:54

the better you get at noticing them , the

15:56

more you'll find them around you . So

15:58

I would give you some homework for this week . Go

16:01

through the next bit of your day or even

16:03

your whole day , make it a few days , if

16:05

you can the whole week and notice

16:07

every single glimmer that you can . Like

16:10

I said , try to hit a few days , try to hit

16:12

a whole week , figure out what your glimmer

16:14

collecting place is and make it a practice

16:16

. We know how the brain works

16:18

. What you focus on , you find

16:20

. What you put your energy into

16:22

comes back to you . So

16:25

the more you look , the more there will be All

16:28

of my love to each and every one of you and happy

16:30

glimmer hunting . But

16:33

all right , my loves . That's where I'll leave us today . I want to thank you so

16:36

much for joining in on this conversation with

16:38

me , and each week , every monday , we're going to

16:40

be posting a new episode , going

16:42

a little bit deeper into the conversation

16:44

, of what you can do to train

16:47

your brain on purpose to really allow

16:49

for the lifestyle that you want

16:51

to live . Until next time , my loves . In

16:53

the meantime , here's to your health and your

16:55

happiness .