0:03

Hello , my loves , and welcome to the Purposeful

0:05

Lifestyle Development Podcast , where we discuss

0:07

all things thought , work and manifestation

0:10

, but we use neuroscience and the

0:12

study of the brain to do so . I'm

0:14

your host , tessa Spizak . I'm a board-certified

0:16

practitioner , master , life and health coach

0:19

and seasoned executive speaker . If

0:21

you're ready to create your highest value lifestyle

0:23

and turn your dream life into a reality , you're

0:26

in the right place . Let's get right in to

0:28

today's episode . Hello

0:32

, hello , my loves . Thank you so much for

0:34

spending your time with me here and welcome

0:36

in to our new season of

0:38

the Purposeful Lifestyle Development Podcast

0:41

. If you're here with me every week , I

0:43

so appreciate you being here , and

0:45

if you're new , welcome in

0:47

. Don't forget to hit subscribe so

0:50

that you never miss part of our conversation

0:52

. But you know , this is actually

0:54

my second time recording this episode

0:57

. I had finished and was about to send

0:59

it off to get edited and posted and

1:01

, I don't know , it just didn't work out

1:03

. So here we are again . Maybe

1:06

a bit more concise this time

1:08

, but that is okay . I'm really

1:10

excited to talk about this and I'll take

1:12

it as an opportunity to strengthen

1:15

my commitment . Good mindset

1:17

shift there . Huh , how do we like that ? But

1:21

that actually is a bit in line

1:23

with what I'm talking about this week , maybe

1:26

even over the next few weeks , and

1:28

that is creating an unwavering

1:30

commitment to you and the promises

1:33

you make yourself , allowing yourself

1:35

to create a strong sense of what's

1:37

called identity alignment . And

1:40

this will be , in part , a how-to episode

1:42

, meaning it's a really good idea that you listen

1:45

when you can actually have a pen and paper

1:47

or you're at your computer or at

1:49

your favorite Notes app , so feel free

1:51

to give it a listen now , even if you aren't

1:53

available to do that . I know

1:55

a lot of people listen when they're driving or out

1:57

on a walk or something , but do make

2:00

sure that you save it so

2:02

that you can come back and write it out for yourself

2:04

and actually do this exercise

2:06

. Something I talk about all the

2:08

time , as you guys know , is taking

2:11

inventory on yourself , taking

2:13

inventory over where you are right now

2:15

in life , what season you're in , what season

2:18

you want to move into , and

2:20

I talk about that all the time

2:22

because it's so

2:24

helpful and such a simple

2:26

, useful tool for really

2:28

getting a bird's eye view for where you are

2:31

. And , as we all know , you

2:33

can't know how to get to your next

2:35

destination or where you're going without

2:38

knowing where you are now . Think of a map . You

2:41

couldn't even use that map . So that's what I'm

2:43

talking about by taking inventory Again . It's

2:45

like having a map Figuring

2:48

out what your priorities are , figuring

2:50

out what you want more of in your life , maybe

2:52

what you no longer want , what

2:54

is no longer serving you . Sometimes

2:57

those are things that are potentially

2:59

what you needed at one time but

3:01

now are holding you back either

3:03

from what you want to do , who you want to be

3:05

, where you want to go , but getting an

3:08

idea of our habits , an

3:10

idea of our responses and our thoughts

3:12

about things , maybe the stories that

3:14

we have in our head and deciding

3:16

how or where or in

3:19

what way we want to shift our focus or

3:21

grow , what things we want to prioritize

3:24

and reprioritize . And

3:27

I want to add a note here this

3:29

is something that I personally do regularly

3:32

, something that I'm actually in the

3:34

process of right now . This

3:36

is definitely not me speaking from

3:38

a holier than now perspective , whether

3:41

this is to me and you

3:44

here right . I did talk in my

3:46

last episode about how I am in

3:48

a transition season . For a while

3:50

there I really did need a

3:52

slower learn

3:55

rather than create season , somewhat

3:57

self introspective season , but

4:00

now for me , that

4:02

is over . I feel it . I'm

4:04

listening to my own intuitive poll

4:07

and it's really telling me that it's time

4:09

for something new . It's time for me

4:11

to move and grow and be in

4:13

that growth season and create and build

4:15

and just expect more on that

4:17

front from myself . So

4:21

what I'm doing is honestly

4:23

just sharing what works for the people

4:25

I work with , for myself , whatever

4:27

whether you're in a transition yourself

4:29

maybe you've been feeling stuck

4:31

and you need a transition , maybe

4:34

you have a big goal that you really need to focus

4:36

on and get yourself right for , or

4:38

even just the fact that we do have a new

4:41

year coming up and we

4:43

all want to be on top of our stuff as that

4:45

comes around . Really use that

4:47

new year energy to catapult us into

4:49

what we want . Whatever the case is

4:51

, this is the best starting

4:53

point for clarity , and

4:56

we have to start by getting a little bit

4:58

of introspect , asking

5:00

ourselves a few questions . First

5:03

, you have got to get clear on

5:05

what it is that you want , and

5:07

here's where you want to think about your own identity

5:10

alignment . But let's talk about that real

5:12

quick . What identity alignment is ? I'll

5:15

start by saying it's not something

5:17

that you figure out one time . It's

5:19

always changing and evolving

5:21

for each of us , and I say that

5:24

because it's also not something

5:26

that you just do once . Identity

5:28

alignment is a practice

5:31

, or I think we can even go as far to say is

5:33

it's a lifestyle . It really involves

5:35

living and acting in a way that

5:37

your actions , your beliefs

5:39

and the habits you create are

5:41

really in harmony with the

5:44

identity that you aspire to have

5:46

and the person that you aspire to be . It's

5:48

about living in a way that's true to your core

5:50

values and in line with

5:53

a person that you really envision yourself

5:55

becoming . So that

5:57

means you also need a clear

5:59

vision of who you want to be and

6:02

how you want to be , because

6:04

the goal of identity alignment is

6:06

creating that unwavering

6:08

sense of authenticity , of

6:10

fulfillment and purpose , because

6:13

your actions are in line

6:15

with your desired identity

6:17

, with your higher power that you

6:20

esteem , whatever you want to call it . So

6:23

how do we get that ? Well , it's

6:25

a conscious , mindful and

6:27

intentional effort to really

6:30

live authentically and to be

6:32

so grounded in your sense

6:34

of self in a way that's really

6:36

true to your core values and true

6:38

to how you want to live , true to the principles

6:41

you hold , and holding those as the most

6:43

important thing and really

6:45

being authentic to the person that you

6:47

are becoming , trusting yourself

6:50

to do so . So ask

6:52

yourself this what are some of the things that could be

6:54

getting in the way of you achieving

6:56

that identity alignment ? The

6:59

place I suggest you start , honestly

7:01

, is look at the things that are keeping

7:03

you up at night , the things that

7:05

at the end of the day , you are saying to yourself

7:07

like dang it , I didn't do

7:09

it again . Or I did it again

7:12

, and I wish I would just stop doing

7:14

this . I wish I would quit doing this to myself

7:16

, those nagging thoughts with those

7:18

constant annoying reminders that

7:21

we did not do what

7:23

we said we were going to do , or we did the

7:25

thing that we said we weren't going to , the

7:27

thing that we kind of lied to ourselves a little

7:29

bit and I don't say that to be harsh , but you guys

7:31

know , one of my biggest lessons here is

7:34

do not lie to yourself , do not lie

7:36

to your brain . It teaches your brain

7:38

not to trust you and just makes everything

7:40

we effort at or try to put our mind

7:43

to a lot harder . So start

7:45

there . The things that are weighing

7:48

down your mental load the heaviest , the

7:50

things that are kind of the daily like

7:52

I'm kicking myself for this

7:54

and your mental load . That's

7:56

like that cognitive labor you do right

7:59

, all the mental gymnastics that's always

8:01

going on behind the scenes . This is

8:03

really taking over your executive

8:05

function and that's the part of the brain

8:08

that helps you plan and decide and figure

8:10

out what to do next . So a

8:12

big part of being

8:15

stuck or in that I

8:17

know what I need to do , but I don't know how to do it right

8:19

, it's when that mental load just

8:22

gets too heavy . So let's figure

8:24

those out first . What are the things

8:26

that we can change now that are weighing

8:28

the heaviest on your mental load and

8:30

what are the stories that you tell yourself around them

8:33

? So here are some examples . Think of things

8:35

like this . These are some of the things that I've

8:37

really been hearing regularly in my coaching

8:39

and from the community . So we'll use

8:41

these as examples , but place

8:44

in what you're thinking about . Again , I want

8:46

you to be writing this list down . What

8:49

are the things that are keeping you frustrated

8:51

? For a lot of people , it could

8:53

be something like a lack of sleep discipline

8:55

, right , sleeping in too

8:57

late , maybe then staying up too late

9:00

having a cocktail or a glass

9:02

of wine when you said you wouldn't do it because

9:04

it's a weekday or maybe

9:06

it's not planning ahead and

9:08

eating the convenience food which makes

9:10

you just feel really crappy and run down

9:12

, or just kind of a general

9:14

one here , a big one for a

9:16

lot of us procrastinating , really

9:19

putting off a project that we

9:21

need to do professionally Really we're

9:23

drawn to it professionally or a personal

9:26

project that's really important to us , thinking

9:28

about it every day and doing nothing

9:31

about it . Now , before

9:33

we get too far into this list very

9:35

important all the stars and shiny know

9:37

this this is not a judgment

9:39

moment . I am not telling you to

9:41

do this as an opportunity for

9:44

self-judgment Definitely

9:46

no self-shame , because shame does nothing

9:48

, but this is only

9:51

an opportunity for self-awareness

9:54

. To be aware is to gain

9:56

our power in this situation . So

9:58

, instead of being mad at ourselves

10:00

for whatever is on this list or

10:03

using it as a place to start making

10:06

excuses or start telling yourselves

10:08

stories about what this

10:10

means , we're merely going to use

10:12

this as a tool to

10:14

find the immediate and most

10:16

impactful things that you can do right

10:19

now to get yourself into better identity

10:21

alignment . We're literally just using

10:23

this as a catalyst or a jump

10:25

off point , because what

10:28

we're going to do is take everything in

10:30

that list and find the exact

10:32

opposite . So many times

10:34

we mentally approach

10:37

things that feel so hard and

10:39

complicated with this assumption

10:41

that the solution has to be

10:43

just as hard and complicated , and

10:45

that just isn't the truth at all . Simple

10:47

start not to say easy , because

10:49

it's not easy but our simple

10:51

start here is

10:54

in this first step of clearing

10:56

out the things that weigh the heaviest on your mental

10:58

load and again make you feel really

11:01

run down . And there's a reason

11:03

that we're doing this and the reason that we're starting here

11:05

is because we're shifting your focus

11:07

. Instead of giving all that energy

11:10

to what you don't want , instead

11:12

we're shifting and giving that energy

11:15

and focus to what you

11:17

do . This is going to

11:19

help reset essentially your

11:21

mindset , your mental framing

11:24

on all of the other things that need

11:26

to fall into place . Simply

11:29

, we're giving the focus to what

11:31

you want instead of what you don't

11:33

. And to do that , like

11:35

I said , simply not easy , but

11:37

simply we're going to create an opposite for everything

11:40

that was on that list . So , to use the examples

11:42

from before , to stop

11:44

the cycle of feeling guilty

11:47

or mad at yourself every day for

11:49

the lack of sleep discipline . We

11:51

know that the most helpful thing that

11:53

we can do to get rid of that mental

11:56

thought process is to create

11:58

some kind of nighttime routine plan

12:00

for a morning routine . What can we

12:02

replace to make this action

12:04

more in line with your goals ? Instead

12:06

of wine , maybe you have to get excited about

12:08

finding your new favorite relaxing

12:10

tea , or spend a minute to

12:13

set an alarm with a nice

12:15

chime , a good song or a

12:17

spoken meditation , something that'll

12:19

give you a rejuvenating wake up time that

12:21

you can actually look forward to . You're

12:24

planning ahead . You're going to make it happen

12:26

. This alone is

12:28

significantly going to get you closer

12:31

to the big goals , to the big aspirations

12:34

that you have that are way more

12:36

grandiose than just getting your sleep in

12:38

line , and it's going to do it immediately

12:40

, because , as soon as you get this

12:42

down , you're already more aligned

12:45

to who you want to be already

12:47

producing more dopamine and

12:49

good feeling hormones , because your brain is

12:51

happy that you did what you promised

12:53

it to do , and we're taking away a

12:55

lot of the things that steal our

12:57

energy , because we're not clouded

12:59

and bogged down by the thoughts

13:01

and the frustrations of just not

13:04

doing it again . So

13:06

now all that excess energy , all

13:08

that excess thought power can go to

13:10

focusing on what the heck is actually important

13:12

to you and if

13:15

excuses and the stories that

13:17

we've built up in our subconscious start

13:19

to get in the way like a roadblock , instead

13:23

of seeing this as another assurance

13:25

that we can't do it , here's

13:28

where you get to promise yourself that you will

13:30

get creative and you will get

13:32

curious and you'll figure out a way to

13:34

make it happen , or you'll

13:36

choose that

13:38

you're going to take your power back from

13:40

this and choose to deprioritize

13:42

it for whatever reason . Now , I

13:45

hope we're not doing this about sleep , not

13:47

this example , but this

13:49

does give you the opportunity to say

13:51

, okay , I

13:53

choose not to prioritize this , so

13:56

that still will clear the mental load

13:58

of I wish I did this thing because

14:00

you've already actively chosen not to

14:02

or to put it off temporarily . So

14:05

just a touch on the other examples really briefly

14:07

here . Instead of feeling

14:10

really bad every day that

14:12

we are not giving our body food that gives

14:14

it energy that it deserves , and maybe

14:16

we ate the thing that makes us feel really run down

14:19

and crappy , instead

14:21

of spending time doing that , go

14:23

ahead ahead of time , we're making

14:26

an action plan . What are things that

14:28

you can actually do right now

14:30

that will take off the mental load

14:32

? What's in that plan ? Does

14:34

that mean ordering the healthy things ahead of time

14:36

? Does that mean making something

14:39

the night before ? Does that mean going and getting

14:41

educated about it ? You know , doing

14:43

some googling , taking a class , talking to

14:45

a coach right , don't

14:47

give in to the negative thoughts that come up . You

14:50

know it could be anything from like . You know

14:52

. I just I don't know how to cook

14:54

and I can't afford healthy food

14:56

because I think healthy food is too expensive

14:59

. You guys , we live in

15:01

a day and age where , if you don't want these

15:03

stories to be true , they don't

15:05

have to be for the majority of people

15:07

. We've got Google , we've got YouTube

15:10

hell , we've even got chat GPT Type

15:12

in one of those how to make easy

15:15

, healthy meals for $10

15:17

, or whatever that budget was for the fast

15:19

food that makes you feel bad

15:22

. Get curious , or at

15:24

least promise yourself that you'll get curious

15:26

and start to find a solution that

15:28

works for you , whatever

15:30

makes sense for you and your situation

15:33

. But we're going to start to plan

15:35

out how to match your identity , how

15:37

to get aligned with that identity , how to

15:39

get much closer to that you you want

15:41

to be . By doing that , you're going to

15:43

feel so much better and

15:46

the fact that we are taking off this

15:48

mental load of something that has been weighing

15:50

on you every day double

15:52

the energy , double the impact , twice

15:54

the speed to the big things and the big

15:57

dreams that you have . Lastly

15:59

, our example right , about the passion

16:01

project , about the work project , whatever

16:04

that is . Promise yourself

16:06

five minutes at least

16:09

. Just look it over , take

16:11

it out of the drawer , spend some time

16:13

thinking about it , googling about it . Do

16:16

something that gives your project

16:18

attention . We can even just

16:20

search for inspiration

16:22

from others that are doing the same thing , right ? Maybe

16:25

record that first , take just

16:27

as a first draft , or write out the first

16:29

line . Do anything

16:31

that is taking one step , and

16:34

tomorrow take another step , and maybe

16:36

the next day we can take two or three

16:38

, but it's that first step that is the hardest

16:40

one . So all you need to do is

16:43

commit to that . It's like

16:45

rolling a great big boulder . The

16:48

hardest thing is getting it moving , but

16:50

once it's moving , momentum begets

16:52

momentum and it gets

16:54

easier and easier and easier . So

16:56

promise that you'll give it that first

16:59

big push , and

17:01

I know this might sound like the simple stuff , right

17:03

, the things like ah , I'm

17:06

trying to build something great and crazy , I'm

17:08

not so worried about my sleep or

17:11

my food or what have you , but these are the

17:13

things we tend to neglect the most . And

17:15

the point of this exercise is again really

17:18

designed to shift your energy and attention

17:20

away from what you don't

17:22

want , right Like , I

17:24

don't want a bad sleep schedule , I don't

17:27

want to eat the food that makes me feel bad , I

17:29

don't want to go another day avoiding my projects

17:31

, all the things that are going on

17:33

in your brain , hugging up your mental and physical energy

17:36

. Switch that and

17:38

focus on what you do want . Maybe

17:41

you do want , with those examples

17:43

, quality sleep and a clear mind . You

17:46

do want to feed your body nourishing foods

17:48

. That makes you feel energetic and great . You

17:51

do want to feel motivated and passionate about

17:53

your projects and your goals . Move

17:55

your focus onto things that

17:57

you do want , the things that create better

18:00

identity alignment for you , and

18:03

by framing it in this way the things that

18:05

you do want you are literally engaging your

18:08

subconscious mind in a way

18:10

that is more constructive for you , in a way that

18:12

will make you feel better internally

18:14

, feel more confident in going after the things

18:16

that you want and again

18:19

it gets your brain on your side

18:21

of working toward doing it

18:23

again and building up

18:25

that familiarity instead of

18:27

working against it . This

18:29

is an actual retraining process

18:31

that helps create a subconscious

18:34

mindset shift that's actively

18:36

focusing on and working toward positive

18:39

changes and things you desire in

18:41

your life . Remember where

18:43

your energy goes is where your energy

18:46

flows , and redirecting your thoughts and

18:48

actions towards what you want to bring

18:51

in your life rather

18:53

than what you don't is what

18:55

leads to that huge transformation . Your

18:58

brain really can't quantify

19:00

more or less yes or no , so

19:04

let's just put the focus on health

19:06

, wellness , feeling

19:08

good , feeling creative , passionate

19:11

, on fire . That's

19:13

where you want your energy to flow . This

19:15

allows you to really have power over your situation

19:18

, rather than being

19:20

subject to the things in

19:22

your situation . You get to decide

19:24

what you like , what you don't . Try

19:26

different ways , try new things

19:29

, which that in itself

19:31

helps improve our neuroplasticity

19:33

, essentially making us better

19:35

at new and different things . And

19:38

remember , we can still be kind

19:40

to ourselves here . You don't have to get it right the first

19:42

time , but anything that you're doing

19:45

that's actively working and taking

19:47

steps toward your personal

19:50

identity alignment is

19:52

exactly what we need to be doing . And

19:55

here's the whole part . Seriously , I love this

19:57

. This

19:59

is the part that just makes me like , ooh , yes

20:01

, when you are actively working

20:03

towards your goals we know I

20:06

talk about this it literally kicks

20:08

on your brain's reward system . Every

20:10

single time you take a step towards what

20:13

you've committed to , what you've promised yourself

20:15

, your brain releases those neurotransmitters

20:17

like dopamine , the feel good

20:20

, do more chemical . It reinforces

20:22

this behavior as familiar in the brain

20:24

, making it more familiar to you

20:26

. Aka you are much

20:28

more likely to continue

20:30

taking that positive action because

20:32

it's starting to be like an impulse . It's

20:35

subconscious , or at least

20:37

we have a lot less resistance

20:39

on the brain because it's on

20:41

our side . We're literally building

20:44

out that neural pathway because

20:46

, as you're consistent in the actions that

20:48

you take towards those goals and the

20:50

things that you want , you're literally shaping

20:52

those neural pathways . They're strengthening

20:55

and the connection between those

20:57

thoughts and your actions and those

20:59

goals . That's all strengthening

21:02

as well . The more aligned

21:04

these pathways are , the more it is inevitable

21:07

that you're going to manifest the changes that

21:09

you want in your life . In

21:11

essence , you're not only creating new

21:14

habits , but you're really also

21:16

rewiring your brain to

21:18

support these new thought processes

21:20

to support these mindset

21:22

shifts and it helps move you in the

21:24

direction of manifesting

21:27

these goals Because

21:30

you experience all the rewards and all

21:32

the good things of aligning your actions

21:34

with the things you desire . You

21:37

feel good , you feel confident , you're proud

21:39

of yourself . This process becomes

21:42

self-reinforcing on a neurological

21:44

level , which is just the coolest thing

21:46

I know about this . The brain takes

21:48

over and it wants more of that

21:50

. It likes it that dopamine

21:53

is the hormone of more , so

21:56

the new , better habit that

21:58

is more aligned will start to

22:00

become the default literally

22:02

in your brain . So

22:05

, overall , this is the

22:07

very first step in taking your inventory . Outline

22:10

the specific things that are taking

22:12

up your headspace that you really just

22:14

need to cut the bullshit on . That you need to

22:16

change . Plus , get

22:18

super clear on what you're replacing

22:20

it with and how you're

22:22

going to try replacing it . We

22:24

can't focus on what you want less of

22:26

or none of . Remember it doesn't work that

22:28

way . So shift your focus intentionally

22:31

onto what you do want . Get

22:34

clear on the steps that you'll take to bring

22:36

these shifts into your current reality . Outline

22:38

it . Make a schedule , if that'll help

22:40

you . That's what I do , literally down

22:43

to the minute when I need it , but

22:46

be detailed and be realistic . Again

22:48

, we're not changing everything overnight

22:51

. We don't want to lie to the brain . These are real

22:53

, realistic things that we can do and

22:55

try . These are the small , foundational

22:57

things for a reason Again , we aren't

23:00

set out with a goal of becoming a whole new person

23:02

overnight , but we do have a goal of

23:04

clearing out our mental load

23:06

, clearing out the mentally draining

23:08

things that we seem to

23:11

be doing or not doing on autopilot

23:13

, that don't serve us because

23:15

they take up too much of our headspace , too

23:17

much of our thoughts , and we'd rather allow those

23:20

thoughts to go to the things we actually

23:22

want . Right , we're getting

23:24

rid of those things and replacing them with

23:26

the things that align us with

23:29

our identity and who we deserve

23:31

to be . Remember , it's

23:33

the small , consistent changes that

23:35

really lead to the most lasting

23:38

, transformative moments

23:40

in the biggest transformation . Identity

23:43

alignment is such a foundational element

23:46

to personal development and it's what gives

23:48

us our roadmap . It shows us where

23:51

we need to tap in for growth , where

23:53

we need to tap in for more

23:55

authenticity and to our purpose

23:57

and how we spend our time and

23:59

where our thoughts go . That's what

24:01

shapes our mindset , that's what influences

24:03

our energy and it's

24:05

what attracts aligned experiences . I

24:08

don't know about you , but I definitely only

24:11

want to attract and be aligned

24:13

to things that are for my highest good

24:15

and my highest goals . Let's

24:18

start here Clear the baseline

24:20

of what's taking up space for you

24:22

, and once you get started , that's

24:25

where the good stuff and all

24:27

the wonderful , serendipitous

24:29

little things really start to

24:31

fall in line and it feels

24:33

like it starts to fall into your lap . But

24:36

I'll save the rest for next week . Happy

24:38

journaling and inventory taking . I

24:40

cannot wait to hear what you

24:43

learn about you along the way . But

24:46

all right , my loves , that's where I'll leave us today

24:48

. I want to thank you so much for joining in

24:50

on this conversation with me , and each

24:52

week , every Monday , we're going to be posting a new

24:54

episode , going a little bit deeper into

24:57

the conversation , of what you

24:59

can do to train your brain on purpose

25:01

to really allow for the lifestyle

25:03

that you want to live . Until

25:05

next time , my loves . In the meantime , here's

25:08

to your health and your happiness .