In this episode, I’m joined by Jessica Kazaniwskyj, who had two narcissistic parents (one of which was also an alcoholic). She used her determination to escape their grasp and divorced them when she was sixteen. However, like many raised in that environment, she then found herself under the grasp of a man with similar qualities. She was with him for over fifteen years, even marrying him despite the red flags. Through years of healing and endless curiosity about why she felt the way she felt and wanting to break these patterns desperately, she finally found the courage to walk away from her marriage. Shortly after, she met her current husband, who was everything she had requested. Jessica's journey led her to become an empowerment life coach who specializes in childhood trauma, as so often we repeat those patterns into adulthood. She's an avid reader in her spare time, loves movies and documentaries, and is a die-hard Notre Dame football and Chicago Cubs fan.

Today, Jessica shares her compelling story of overcoming a tumultuous childhood, enduring toxic relationships, and breaking free from narcissistic abuse. Jessica's journey involves resilience, self-discovery, and embracing vulnerability. She talks about her journey of healing and empowerment after leaving a toxic relationship. Jessica shares insights on recognizing red flags, understanding trauma bonds, and healing loudly to help others suffering in silence.

Tune in to hear Jessica’s views on healing, accountability, and the path to emotional freedom.

Timestamps

[02:45] How Jessica decided to become a life coach

[05:15] Jessica's childhood and her emancipation

[12:00] Jessica's college and financial aid challenges as an emancipated minor

[14:25] Strained relationship with her father after emancipation

[17:03] Jessica's feelings about her abusive mother's cancer diagnosis

[19:54] Red flags in Jessica’s first marriage and being isolated

[31:24] Challenges of keeping a clean home with an indifferent partner

[34:00] The trauma of the pandemic and personal loss

[35:02] Emotional neglect and the end of Jessica’s marriage

[36:34] Why Jessica remained with her husband for 15 years

[41:41] How emotional toll led to Jessica's divorce

[45:05] How Jessica met her new husband

[58:28] Faking it till you make it and positive self-talk

[01:06:49] Feeling happier and glowing after healing

Notable Quotes

• The thing that's gonna set you free is being vulnerable. Telling you narcissists don't have that ability because of the vulnerability. You have to be emotionally intelligent to be vulnerable.
• If something's not working, dive in deeper. 
• I'm gonna heal loudly because there's too many people dying quietly
• when you're actually fed up is when you'll actually say, you know what, this is the work I need to do, and do it.
• You're not crazy. They want you to think you're crazy, but you're not crazy. And you can get better, but there is an element of personal responsibility. You are pulling these people to you, so you have to fix that part of yourself. 

RESOURCES:

MARRIED TO A “NICE” GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: https://www.amazon.com/author/laurarichards

FOLLOW THE PODCAST: http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com

BOOKS & JOURNALS: https://www.amazon.com/author/laurarichards

RESOURCES FOR YOUR HEALING: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/resources

FOLLOW JESSICA:  https://linktr.ee/kazaniwskyjcoaching