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0:38

They never. conversation.

2:01

Eric's got dates, he's playing all over

2:04

the place and so you can just

2:06

go to his website ericgriffin.com and

2:09

also Griffin with Griffin and

2:11

the Golden Hour as the

2:13

podcast. Good to see you my friend. Hello

2:15

good to see you buddy as always. Alright

2:17

we'll get in some heavy stuff coming up

2:20

because I know we got subject matter

2:22

that's you know could be considered heavy but

2:24

first on a lighter note

2:27

I spent a significant amount of

2:30

time over last weekend in an

2:32

IKEA and when you

2:34

open with that yeah

2:37

here we go.

2:41

Who wronged you at the

2:44

IKEA? No nobody nobody

2:46

I was impressed I've never

2:48

sat down and ate a

2:50

meal at an IKEA and

2:52

I realized there's professional IKEA

2:55

eaters like I saw

2:57

couples and they weren't shopping for

2:59

furniture they were shopping for meatballs

3:02

and strategy there's a strategy there's

3:04

there's an emotional component to it

3:06

there's a physical side to it

3:08

they have these triple-decker rolling tray

3:10

carts and I saw

3:12

like an old Asian couple who

3:15

clearly just came there to eat

3:17

there's all sorts of you know

3:19

kids eat free on Wednesday when

3:21

adult orders of entree there's a

3:23

ginormous couple again they

3:26

weren't there looking for furniture

3:28

or cabinetry they were there

3:30

to eat and eat

3:32

they did and the system is good

3:35

it's cheap they don't get over their

3:37

skis you know they have meatballs and

3:39

basically chicken fingers there's no taco

3:41

salad or any other bullshit. It's

3:44

streamline. It's streamline. This is a

3:46

step above strip club

3:48

you know what I'm saying? But

3:50

it's cheap it's hot and the

3:52

fucking line moves and the whole

3:54

place moves right because there's arrows

3:56

projected on the floor. We know

3:58

where to go. Literally going go this

4:01

way. Oh, this is the menu. We're looking

4:03

at the we're looking at the menu and

4:06

They move it along but here here's

4:08

my whole point all I want to

4:10

do after spending an hour and a

4:12

half in IKEA in That the cafeteria

4:15

it's run like if there's such a

4:17

thing as Japanese ants That's

4:19

how fucking efficient this cafeteria is

4:21

I don't know if there I

4:23

would imagine that the Japanese ants

4:25

are more efficient Like

4:28

they drink and they fight they hang out

4:32

They're not Japanese at now for Japanese ant comes

4:34

to a Mexican ant maybe we can whip them

4:36

in the shape But they got the car on

4:38

blocks and they're looking at it There's

4:42

gotta be differences, right Well,

4:45

there's Africanized killer bees. We just

4:47

got lazy ass honeybees here They

4:49

got fucking kill a farmer over

4:51

there All right, there must be

4:53

Jeff if they move with the

4:55

efficiency of a Japanese ant That's

4:58

what I'm saying And it's a ballet and everyone's

5:00

doing their job and they have the kiosk for

5:03

the drinks over here And then the hot drinks

5:05

over there and the salt and pepper are

5:07

on all the tables You know like they and

5:10

then you get into place and there's just arrows

5:12

projected everywhere like you move go this way and

5:14

everyone flows It's it's like it's like it's like

5:16

a human aquarium Are you saying you're becoming one

5:18

of those people who's gonna go there just to

5:20

eat now? Listen when

5:22

you first the the Swedish meatballs are delightful,

5:25

of course number one number two You start

5:27

looking at what they got for the eat

5:29

free Wednesday and before five o'clock Tuesday and

5:31

all stuff and you go I'm

5:34

gonna save a fucking bundle. I've been

5:36

going to Lucky's in Malibu getting raped You

5:38

know what I mean? I get it out

5:40

of there for under 300 bucks Though that

5:42

if you went to like say your favorite

5:44

restaurant and they had that

5:47

menu You would be outraged

5:49

I would and I think that the

5:51

only reason why you even considering eating

5:53

there or or the delightful meatballs is

5:55

Because of the efficiency of what was

5:58

going on. I think it appealed to

6:00

who? You are the person. They don't

6:02

have a bar. If they opened a

6:04

bar, I would frequent that place quite

6:06

a bit. That would be it, right?

6:09

Yeah, they probably have 15 different types

6:11

of vodka, you know? Yeah, it's vodka.

6:13

Get in there. But as I watch

6:15

everyone move with efficiency through this place,

6:18

it's like when you go to one of those

6:21

big aquariums and see all the fish are going

6:23

the same direction. You know what I mean? They

6:25

just everything is flowing. And then at some point

6:27

you go, I bought a cabinetry.

6:30

I bought cabinets. And

6:33

I bought the whole thing and the chick

6:35

checked me out, looked at him on the

6:37

computer, did the whole thing. And then I'm

6:40

like, so where is the countertops and the

6:42

handles? I'm like, where is it? Oh, it's

6:44

downstairs. It'll be waiting for you when you

6:46

go downstairs. You give the guy your ticket,

6:48

you back your car up. He'll bring it

6:50

out. Like, it's everything's flowing. And

6:52

all I wanted to do is

6:55

go, look, who runs this place?

6:57

Like Jeff IKEA or Gary

6:59

IKEA or whoever. And

7:02

then I go, can you just

7:04

run this city? As soon as

7:06

I step out of this, I knew it.

7:08

I trip over a homeless guy. There's graffiti

7:11

everywhere. Nothing. You know, there's

7:13

sofas dragged out to the curb that

7:15

have been there for nine months. The

7:18

roads are fucking crumbling. You guys have

7:20

created an efficient utopia here where everything

7:22

is sparkling and new. The bathrooms, everything

7:25

is perfect. And can we

7:27

just take whoever's doing this and

7:29

bring it outside of this place

7:32

and say, let's now move over

7:34

Mayor Garcetti or Karen Bass or

7:37

whatever. There's a Swedish guy. He's

7:39

dressing like blue. He's got an idea.

7:41

And we're just going to step back.

7:44

We'll give him one year. Just whatever

7:46

he thinks is a good idea. Homelessness,

7:48

trash, graffiti, the school system, traffic.

7:50

Oh, my God, traffic. These guys,

7:53

all they do is move humanity

7:55

through that place in a super

7:57

orderly fashion. Everyone is going the

7:59

same direction. Griffin's

54:00

the pod and it's available wherever

54:02

you listen to finer podcasts. I

54:04

had that. Uh, we'll find that

54:07

RFK thing clip with the CNN and yeah, it's

54:11

weird. It's a weird thing to be

54:13

a journalist and then to doctor some

54:15

audio and video and then do a

54:17

hit on a guy. And by the way, they

54:19

invite him in like, Hey, how about you come

54:21

by for a chat? We'll talk vaccinations.

54:24

We'll talk politics. We'll talk, whatever you want to

54:26

talk about. Thank you so much for joining. And

54:28

I guarantee when he shows up, they're like, Oh,

54:30

thanks so much for doing the show. I'm a

54:32

big fan of listening all the time. You said

54:34

this. And then they just go, what

54:37

the, yeah. Mark Summers and with that Nickelodeon doc,

54:39

like they invited him over. Okay. So I'm talking

54:41

about old memories of Nickelodeon. And then it's like,

54:43

so tell us about all the shit they did

54:45

to the kids. Yeah. Oh, the great thing they

54:48

showed of him was like, he's looking at the,

54:50

he's looking at this stuff and he just says,

54:52

did they air this? Like

54:54

he, you know what I mean? He, the look on his face was

54:56

like, Oh, I, I gotta get out

54:58

of here. Like, I don't want to be, whatever you're

55:00

doing, I don't want to be a part of this.

55:02

Yeah. It's a trap. Yeah. Yeah, man. But, you know,

55:05

the thing, man, about like when, you know,

55:08

we, people need to be more

55:10

aware and leery

55:12

of what you're hearing, you

55:15

know, the fact that a place like

55:17

CNN was supposed to

55:19

be this, you know, objective news

55:21

organization. And

55:23

you, when you see the

55:26

full clip of what this guy's saying and

55:28

then what they showed, that's gotta be scary

55:30

to you. On all,

55:32

and they all do it, man. Fox, CNN,

55:35

they all do it. And

55:37

you just go, Oh man, well, where do we get

55:40

our information? Where? Well, you gotta

55:42

go to like sub stack and places like

55:44

that and listen to people that you, uh,

55:47

yeah, you, you have to find guys

55:50

who have been like good voices, consistent

55:52

voices, steady voices. And, and

55:55

also people that admit when they get it

55:57

wrong, people that have been when

55:59

I look. What for is agnostic,

56:01

people going, I

56:03

don't know about hydroxychloroquine, I'm not a

56:05

scientist, I'm not an expert, you should

56:07

talk to your doctor and see

56:10

if he thinks it's a good idea if you

56:12

get on it. I don't have strong opinions about

56:14

shit I've never heard of. If

56:16

you hear that, it's all the, this is

56:18

horse-paced and I know what's going on. It's

56:20

like, you don't know anything. You've never heard

56:23

about it. You've never heard of this stuff.

56:25

I don't know if you watched when RFK

56:28

was on Rogan, he was

56:30

so like just wanting to just,

56:32

he said, thank you for letting me talk. He

56:35

said that so many times where he was just

56:37

like, I just want to get this out. Like

56:39

I'm not, he was very much like, I'm not

56:41

anti-vaccine. I know. Like the guy's

56:44

done so much work. I

56:46

know him well. You know what

56:48

I mean? He's done so much work where he's just like,

56:50

where did this narrative go? Oh, here's another one that

56:52

I love. Like I was talking to somebody and a guy,

56:55

he was like, yeah, that guy's nuts. Especially what

56:57

he was saying about wifi. Cut

57:00

to now, all you

57:02

hear about is these brain wave,

57:05

the waves from like our phones

57:07

and stuff like that. Like the

57:09

guy's not crazy. Well, look, do

57:11

you know on your iPhone, they

57:13

give you a warning? Most people

57:15

don't know about it. Everybody, everybody

57:18

who had a dangerous fringe

57:22

crackpot theory about COVID three

57:24

years ago was right. Every

57:27

single one of them. So whatever you think

57:29

moving forward when they call someone a crackpot

57:31

fringe theory, under

57:33

stop and pause and understand, they

57:36

just got done doing that. Everybody did

57:39

that. Hunter Biden's laptop, there was 51

57:41

X FBI and CIA agents and

57:46

leaders that signed a document that

57:48

said, this is Russian collusion. Every

57:50

newspaper, CNN all ran with it.

57:52

Now the laptops in court,

57:54

that's just a matter of fact, that

57:56

the laptop is real. So just take

57:59

pump the brakes. a little bit

58:01

and look for the people that they're

58:03

trying to ostracize and hear what they

58:05

have to say. Right. The people they're

58:07

trying to run off of Twitter and

58:09

run out of town and get deplatformed

58:11

and they call crazy. Listen

58:14

for those people. Yeah, I went

58:16

into NPR New York,

58:18

did an interview with Brian Loehr, he's

58:20

like a steam journalist or something. He

58:22

had a whole hit piece. Just come

58:24

on, talk about your book. Lined up

58:26

for me, tried to do a hit

58:29

thing on me, fucked up royally. He

58:32

thought I was doing an Asian accent, but

58:34

it was Joe Coy doing an Asian accent

58:36

on my podcast and he thought it was

58:39

me. In the world of

58:41

NPR, a white comedian doing

58:44

an Asian accent, that's somehow

58:46

going to destroy me, which

58:49

I don't give a fuck about, but I just

58:51

said that's not me, that's Joe Coy. And

58:55

I said to him, I understand what you're trying to do. You're

58:57

trying to do a hit piece on me,

59:00

but you screwed up because that's not me.

59:02

And he goes, all right. And we go on

59:04

with the interview and they

59:07

never air it. They

59:09

never air it. And I sat

59:11

there for an hour downtown and

59:13

I had my assistant call him and go, when

59:15

are you going to air this thing? And they're like,

59:18

well, we're doing a pledge drive right now, so we're

59:20

not doing whatever. And then, of

59:22

course not. Then perfectly, I

59:25

said, John Waters, who

59:28

they do like over there, came in and

59:31

plugged his book two weeks after

59:33

I did my interview and his aired. So

59:35

then we called him and he said, you got other

59:37

guys coming in after me and that shit aired. How

59:40

come my shit didn't air? And they go, it

59:42

didn't come out the way we wanted it to.

59:44

So if you want to come in, you

59:47

guys are, by the way, you're public radio.

59:49

We're paying for this. You guys just get

59:51

the fucking pull a shell game and do

59:53

whatever you want. And yeah, why

59:56

don't you air it? And then people know who you are.

59:58

And then the. That'll

1:00:00

be enlightening to your listeners. Never

1:00:02

aired it and then said I could come back in and

1:00:05

do another one in New York. And I was

1:00:07

like, fuck you. You almost gotta wear your

1:00:09

own lav. I know people

1:00:11

don't, the average person has

1:00:13

no fucking idea what is going

1:00:15

on. They sit down, they open

1:00:17

the newspaper, they sit down, they

1:00:19

turn on CNN, they listen

1:00:22

to NPR, they open Rolling Stone and they

1:00:24

go, oh, this is what's going on. No,

1:00:26

it is not. Do we

1:00:28

have the RFK thing

1:00:31

in there? Well, you know. Can

1:00:33

you recall who was interviewing him? Was it Cuomo

1:00:35

interviewing him? No, no, no, no. I

1:00:38

went through the whole girl video and he didn't

1:00:40

once say that they used something out of context.

1:00:43

This is weird because it was a

1:00:45

super famous video that made all the

1:00:47

rounds like six months ago. We're still

1:00:49

looking through. We played it on this

1:00:51

show. We're probably, we're looking for the

1:00:53

wrong thing. Yeah,

1:00:56

you have to find the video. the

1:00:59

person made in it to help him.

1:01:02

CNN probably is like, take all that down. Take

1:01:04

it all down. All right, let me ask you

1:01:06

a cultural question. Oh, here we go. Yeah, P

1:01:08

Diddy. Okay. Okay,

1:01:11

Howard University has

1:01:14

given back the million dollars he

1:01:17

gave them and they also took

1:01:20

the degree back, the honorary

1:01:22

degree and then also Eric

1:01:25

Adams, mayor of New York wants his

1:01:27

key back to the city

1:01:29

too. So they're taking back a

1:01:32

lot of the symbolic stuff. I

1:01:34

don't know where you stand. First off, I

1:01:37

don't feel like they should hand him his money

1:01:39

back. You know, if

1:01:41

you're a bad guy, good, I got a million bucks.

1:01:43

What if he takes that million bucks and he hires

1:01:46

the dream team and he gets off? Yeah,

1:01:49

I'm sure he's got his own money. Well, there's a

1:01:51

million more he can put toward the fund.

1:01:53

Well, I mean- And then tell me if

1:01:56

this is a very

1:01:58

poorly. I mean, you can't

1:02:00

word a joke that has bad taste. I

1:02:03

said that Howard should say,

1:02:05

we're not giving you the million back, we

1:02:07

spent it on rims and carvassier. Yeah,

1:02:10

that's terrible. That's terrible? Okay, can't say that? Don't

1:02:13

say that. It's a place of higher learning. Okay,

1:02:15

all right. But it's a black college, you know, I just

1:02:17

thought it'd be funny. You know,

1:02:20

idea of the college buying rims. Yeah, I

1:02:22

know, but. Sounds funny. Yeah, but then it's

1:02:24

like, you know what? The message gets lost

1:02:26

in the delivery. You

1:02:28

know what I mean? I should sell that joke

1:02:30

to you. Yeah. Let's

1:02:33

see what that would sound like coming from you. No, because

1:02:36

they'll be like, he's on Corolla all the time. Yeah,

1:02:40

I, you know. Should

1:02:42

people, like when Bill Cosby

1:02:44

got busted, did all

1:02:46

the colleges that gave him honorary doctorate degrees

1:02:48

need to take them back? And then how

1:02:51

do you take them back? I think it's

1:02:53

the kind of thing where you just go,

1:02:55

you disassociate yourself. And like, why even, why

1:02:58

even bring attention to yourself that you did

1:03:00

that? That's some clout right there. That's them,

1:03:02

you know, trying to be like, hey, look

1:03:04

how good we are. We're not, listen, if

1:03:07

you, like, so every, every

1:03:09

person in jail that has done

1:03:11

like white collar crimes or even

1:03:13

major, like, you know, criminal crimes,

1:03:17

so every college that they've gone to, if

1:03:19

they went, if they did go to college,

1:03:21

should that college now come out and speak

1:03:23

out against them? Yeah. It's

1:03:25

like, what do we, you know, it's like, sometimes you

1:03:27

just go, look, people make choices, it has nothing to

1:03:30

do with you. At the time

1:03:32

Howard gave him this thing, they didn't know all

1:03:34

this kind of stuff. And so you just kind

1:03:36

of go, it's unfortunate that this happened, you move

1:03:38

on. Honorary degrees, like, who cares? Well,

1:03:41

we know what that is. How do

1:03:43

they even take back a fake thing

1:03:45

that's invisible? Yeah, dude. It's like me

1:03:47

taking back a compliment. Yeah, yeah. Four years later,

1:03:49

like, Eric, remember how I said you were funny?

1:03:54

But you know what? Here's the thing too,

1:03:56

though. And if the thought process is that

1:03:59

you say that. Wow

1:52:12

This is a craziest scene wait, all right,

1:52:14

he pulls out a pilot it pulls out

1:52:16

a dust buster Pocket

1:52:18

pussy. Yeah glued to the top of it. Yeah,

1:52:20

this is a this is a pilot for a

1:52:23

bad show that didn't get picked up Tonight

1:52:26

was until midnight the movie. How

1:52:28

do you find it so fast?

1:52:30

He fat I just I

1:52:32

just googled. I mean I went into Twitter

1:52:34

and searched Twitter Things

1:52:36

faster on Twitter than Google. Okay, how'd you

1:52:39

find it by me help?

1:52:41

It's a teamwork What's you

1:52:43

googling? I

1:52:49

don't know how the internet works because I want

1:52:51

to know what Emmy googled because I want to

1:52:53

know how the internet works Cuz I can't figure

1:52:55

it out cuz this is an insane thing.

1:52:58

This should be everywhere. He said the rewatchables

1:53:00

Twitter Oh, okay. Well, that's why

1:53:02

I don't need that You know what? I

1:53:04

actually use I like to use AI for

1:53:06

searching now like Gemini the Google AI Is

1:53:08

this a prop they made? Yeah, dude, you

1:53:10

don't think it existed in 1978? Dude,

1:53:13

this is like this is what this is

1:53:15

the that was the worst acting I've ever

1:53:18

seen I can't believe that

1:53:20

that made it a feature that can't

1:53:22

ever be a theater I can't even

1:53:24

believe it and what is this is

1:53:26

so terrible and you know what save

1:53:28

this speech because your next feature When

1:53:31

they go we're bringing it straight To

1:53:34

pay we're not now. It's not gonna

1:53:37

be in theaters. You're gonna go my

1:53:39

this isn't in theaters Have you seen

1:53:41

tend to midnight with Charles for real?

1:53:43

I would say let me be mediocre

1:53:45

on Netflix You

1:53:48

know me. I gotta watch it one. We gotta watch it

1:53:50

one more time We should you know what we should do

1:53:52

this what we should do. So this is what I'm calling

1:53:54

for right now I'm saying Adam and I we

1:53:56

come in here and we do a

1:53:59

watch party of this movie that's good but

1:54:02

I think they already did it I

1:54:04

will play it again when's

1:54:07

the last time you made it with a girl

1:54:10

that's not a week last month

1:54:12

last year never

1:54:16

you never made it with a girl because girls won't

1:54:18

have anything to do with you but you get back

1:54:20

at them don't you Betty and

1:54:22

Karen and God knows how many more

1:54:24

Veronica I won't listen to your fill

1:54:29

Warren do you recognize this what's

1:54:31

not to see one of these before what's it use

1:54:34

for what's the matter

1:54:36

cut your tongue it's for jacking off these

1:54:41

pictures you recognize the girls on the pictures

1:54:43

Warren look at them Warren

1:54:46

look at them stop they're

1:54:48

holding it all

1:54:50

right now here's here's my this is

1:54:52

how you know how this is old school this

1:54:55

you know this is old school because they think

1:54:58

that handsome young man can't get girls I

1:55:00

know they shouldn't have hired a guy with

1:55:02

Matt and they should have been you or

1:55:04

me you know what I mean I

1:55:07

mean what get

1:55:10

Truman Capote's brother all

1:55:13

right now that we found that I can

1:55:15

rest okay Eric Griffin is his name yes

1:55:17

guys comedies I don't know when this comes

1:55:19

out tomorrow I'll be in Greensboro North Carolina

1:55:21

this weekend so guys come check me at

1:55:23

the Greensboro comedy zone I got other stuff

1:55:25

going on but you know I've been doing

1:55:28

a lot of acting and directing and stuff

1:55:30

like that so I'm not doing as much

1:55:32

stand-up but when you do want to see

1:55:34

it it's at Eric griffin.com that's what

1:55:36

I was about to say for me Vegas

1:55:39

I'll be there tonight over Kimmel's Club oh

1:55:41

wow Joshua and Michael you'll be on stage

1:55:43

we will do a live pod there at

1:55:45

730 and then we'll do it I'll do

1:55:47

a stand-up show at 930 after that you

1:55:51

skedamcroller.com Levittown New York governor's gonna

1:55:53

be there doing stand-up June 28

1:55:55

29 just go to amcro.com for

1:55:57

all live shows until next time,

1:55:59

I'm Carl for Eric Griffin, Chris

1:56:02

Max Padis, say, Peace! It's

1:56:31

summertime and with Pluto TV Summer of

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never.