0:00

So I

0:38

You're with refused to sit in first class you're with

0:40

a loser With a real

0:43

buster and he refused to sit in first class.

0:45

I did I was I wasn't gonna ditch him. Oh And

0:49

that relationship worked out So

0:52

they banned Lewis from first class Like

1:00

six years ago. This is very recent.

1:02

All right recent. Yeah, it was Lewis. So

1:05

you left Lewis and in coach You're

1:09

like Not

1:13

physically like Emotionally, thank

1:15

God. Can you imagine sitting on a

1:17

plane and you look over and there's

1:19

Lewis and he's playing like like

1:22

like pup rescue Crossword

1:24

puzzle on the back of the seat and

1:27

it stops working and then he starts

1:29

like losing his mind starts screaming He's

1:32

getting mad at like a like a little like what

1:35

do you call it? Like a maze like a kid's

1:37

maze and he wouldn't get mad at the game. He

1:39

would he would feel good about himself that he's Dominating

1:42

this child's game right? Yeah, but then it

1:44

would stop working shut off Yeah, and he

1:47

would and then he would have a I

1:49

can't even picture Lewis like in a middle seat. Yeah

1:55

Okay, welcome to the Adam Pletka

1:57

podcast everybody guys, it's Friday Welcome

2:00

to the Adam Fudentia podcast. Karen, say

2:02

hello. Hey everybody, thank you for having me. I

2:04

have a special to promote. What is

2:06

that? No title, no

2:08

date, no platform. Karen, you're looking

2:10

rather crispy right now. That's a badass name for

2:12

a special. Thank you. That's

2:14

really mysterious. You know,

2:17

I either saw it, you name a

2:19

special, nothing special. Oh,

2:22

yeah. That's pretty good. Norman

2:24

had the funniest name for a comedy

2:27

album. He said,

2:29

OK, comedian. Yeah, that's

2:31

good. That's bad.

2:33

Radio. That's badass. You were

2:36

insulting me. You said I look crispy. I'm just

2:38

saying it's summertime. Like Nick and I probably look

2:40

like ghosts compared to you right now. Yeah,

2:43

well, I go outside. We

2:45

don't wear a windowless kind of

2:47

studio. Yeah, you guys have sun protection on

2:49

inside right now. But you're Irish? Black

2:51

Irish. What does that mean? I

2:54

think that it means that we were

2:56

the poor Irish people who like

2:58

were like the serfs that worked down in

3:01

the fields or that's not

3:03

what it means. Black Irish. Black

3:05

Irish means that we were invaded by the Moors.

3:08

Yeah, the Spanish. There was a Spanish shipwreck.

3:11

Just one? Yeah, these naked, wet

3:13

Spanish men just showed up in Ireland.

3:16

And then took our women. And

3:18

they, well, people were like, I don't know what to do

3:20

with these guys. I guess we'll suck them off. Yeah. I

3:24

guess we'll suck them off. I guess we'll fuck these

3:26

Spanish. And now that's maybe like 25% of the population.

3:30

Really? So that's the tan part.

3:34

Because my girlfriend's half Irish, but her

3:36

complexion is

3:39

very Irish. And she's terrified of the

3:41

sun constantly. Yeah, nobody should be afraid of the

3:43

sun. It's really good for you, vitamin D. No, you'll get

3:45

cancer. No, you're going to get cancer. We're all going

3:47

to get cancer. We eat seed oils and stuff.

3:49

But I prefer melanoma than any type of gastrointestinal

3:52

cancer. It's the good one. Yeah.

3:55

I prefer it. I say fuck cancer, personally.

3:57

Yeah, babe again, dork. What do you mean?

4:00

good for you. It's good. It has

4:03

stuff. What stem cells.

4:05

Why do you think I

4:07

look so young. I

4:10

think you're just young because I'm ripping

4:12

baby candy for after

4:14

you get a bad test you rip it

4:17

after school vape flavor. My

4:19

favorite. The

4:22

baby is one like yeah.

4:24

Like mother's breast mother's breath

4:26

mother. Yeah. Titty. Yeah. Is

4:29

that a. Isn't that like

4:31

an herb. Mother's breath. There's

4:33

milk maybe breast of mothers breast

4:35

of mother. Breast

4:38

of mother if you have cancer.

4:41

Yeah. It's like we just dab a little on

4:43

you. I'm going to get

4:45

you some breast of mother. No

4:48

you don't need the medicine. I was laughing

4:50

the other day. Who's I laughing with. Oh

4:52

Stephen. The idea of

4:55

like like a homophobic

4:57

like kind of new age

4:59

parent. You know like their

5:01

son's gay and they're like trying to fix

5:03

it with like crystals and like burning incense.

5:08

We're going to get you some St. John's war.

5:13

We can fix this. You've

5:15

got to try this colloidal silver.

5:18

It tastes like semen. I

5:22

feel like parents want to say

5:24

so. That sounds good. You guys are

5:26

doing great. What don't be. You

5:29

were your parents hippies. No. No.

5:31

What did they do. My

5:34

dad was in sales. My mom's a special ed

5:37

teacher. They were just

5:39

like you know from Massachusetts. Very hardworking.

5:42

What do you sell. My dad. Yeah. People say

5:44

that to go. Oh my dad did sales. It's

5:46

like that's such a broad. I

5:49

mean anything. He was a

5:51

lie. Yeah. He sold the people a

5:53

lie. Well we can read

5:55

your politician. What regional textbooks for colleges. So

5:57

he would travel up and down to England.

6:00

Like in a day my dad would like drive

6:02

to Maine and back in a day and he

6:04

really loved us He wouldn't have any affairs. He would come

6:06

home. You could tell he didn't I

6:09

don't think he did you have no idea cheated

6:11

on you have no idea. I'd like to see

6:13

the documentation on that Fucking

6:18

that guy he's not a Spanish. Oh

6:20

my dad's like six. He was very handsome He

6:24

did either two there's two things that

6:26

are either happen either your dad's

6:28

hot and he cheated on He's

6:31

ugly and he's one of the he's like I

6:33

never Yeah, when you're

6:35

living in a Buick filled with textbooks

6:37

filled with math books, and I

6:39

always stayed loyal To

6:41

my family. Oh, you know who I'm gonna fuck

6:44

that guy sleeping in the parking lot Willie

6:49

Loman yeah broken men I

6:51

used to like I wrote a poem called like

6:53

my cystophus or like my Willie Loman or

6:55

whatever about my Called breast of the sale.

6:57

Yeah breast Breast of

6:59

my daddy when I was in college Do

7:02

you have it? Were

7:05

you a poet in college? I took a

7:07

potion so you're a regular beatnik Yes

7:11

And what do your parents think of it you were

7:13

you were you were throwing Throwing

7:16

crap at the GI's coming back from the

7:19

war human feces So this is sort of

7:21

the inspiration for your comedy special. Yeah, your

7:23

father cheating on your mother Right the trauma

7:25

you bought driving around yeah, he

7:28

had like a big van now a

7:30

big van Oh so he could fuck in the back maybe

7:32

he had a banging bus you're saying yeah your

7:34

dad You

7:38

both did a lot of cheating a Lot

7:40

of cheating For

7:44

real though, where is the special coming out? I

7:47

don't know yet, but it didn't have a Toyota Sienna

7:49

did they yeah I don't

7:52

know why how old are you I'm old How

7:55

old is the Toyota Sienna hmm is

7:57

it that I think that's what it was

7:59

called No, oh, yeah, probably is what

8:01

you're thinking. But I think the sienna was

8:04

out. No, like at least 2000. There

8:07

was a sienna. It's that long

8:09

ago. You're telling these stories. We're probably close

8:11

to the same age. I'm imagining the 1950s.

8:14

You know what I mean? It's

8:16

like, yeah, what the hell is Karen's childhood?

8:19

I'm sorry. Don't you mean a horse and

8:21

buggy? What do you mean? Toyota?

8:23

How do you know he was cheating? If you

8:25

were churning butter, you mean a Studebaker bear? Can

8:28

of course. Old Mobile Cutlass Supreme. So you used

8:30

to go to Lovers Lane, pulled up, you go,

8:32

we're going to the make out. A

8:35

nonverbal nurse. Yeah. Did you ever

8:37

get pinned by a by like

8:39

a but get a letterman

8:41

jacket from a guy? No,

8:44

by Archie. What was going on?

8:46

They were all getting finger blasted to like, like

8:49

finger popping doo wop, basically there, they're

8:51

like, and then he kissed me. And

8:53

that's a great. Yeah. And

8:56

then he pissed on my. And

8:59

then they said, they said, come on,

9:02

come on, sister, this is Nashville.

9:05

You got to clean it up. The church

9:07

is right down the street. Who the Spanish

9:10

mores were talking like that. That's exactly a

9:12

Spanish more accent. Yeah, that's right. Well, what

9:15

do you call this place? Island, you

9:18

might as well suck me off. I got no clothes

9:20

on. Blew off ship.

9:24

Well, asunder. Wow.

9:28

So what's new with you besides,

9:30

you know, special? What's going on?

9:33

The fans want to know. I just

9:35

watched a pretty good documentary. Which one? Tell

9:38

tell them you love me. Past

9:42

astronauts. It's

9:44

about a woman. I like

9:46

guessing what I do. Sometimes I just want to

9:48

guess somebody will say something. Was I don't know.

9:50

And I say, let me guess. It's one of

9:53

those often very wrong things. It's one of those

9:55

pedophile things. Kind of. That's

9:57

half documentaries now or about kids getting blessed.

10:00

It's nasty to me. It's a bummer. Do you

10:02

want me to not tell you what if it

10:04

came out that NASA had a big pedophile problem?

10:07

Well like the monkey but like a movie

10:09

like spotlight, but they're like the astronauts Everybody

10:14

we need to look how many you know how

10:16

hard it is to find the guy that can

10:18

do math and jump around underwater Yeah, he's gonna

10:20

like he's gonna fuck five guys that are qualified

10:22

to go to the moon That's

10:25

you need to find a guy that's very good

10:27

at water polo and then for some reason also

10:29

Calculus and spinning in that's like part

10:31

of it. That's a big part of

10:34

being an astronaut is you know Let's

10:36

say one of the lights goes on

10:38

in the spaceship. Mm-hmm. How

10:40

you get it turn it off probably Understanding

10:42

yeah quantum physics. Yeah, probably getting

10:44

out the pencil and paper and

10:46

long and doing some long division

10:48

That's the way to solve a

10:50

problem That never understood

10:52

that why the astronauts have to be good

10:55

at man. Well, that's the whole thing about

10:59

I think we should be sending bodybuilders up there you

11:02

what Armageddon they sent drillers. I

11:05

know yeah They said

11:07

real men up there. Yeah oil rig guys. Yeah,

11:09

and then people like to point that out

11:11

like that's a logical like inconsistency No,

11:14

thanks. Why didn't they just teach the astronauts

11:16

how to use the drill what you mean

11:18

nerds? Yeah nerds You kidding

11:20

me? Yeah. Oh, oh boy I

11:24

don't know who had a hole. Have you ever seen

11:26

one of those get a rough neck sure on the

11:28

wall There's no way that they're getting it. They're drilling

11:30

a hole into a common They

11:33

put nukes inside of a comet. Yeah

11:36

They did you Yeah There's

11:39

a famous clip of Ben

11:41

Affleck on the DVD commentary being like

11:43

we need our guys up there not

11:45

the astronauts Yeah, it's very funny Right

11:52

Live Tyler do

11:54

the same same same the

11:57

same woman. Yeah, another NASA

11:59

conspiracy Yeah, yeah, NASA made

12:01

all the same type of bitches

12:06

That was one of their secret projects Yeah,

12:11

I mean I is that like a thing

12:13

anymore like who's It's funny.

12:15

They sent it one teacher up there and the

12:17

teacher sucked so bad that she died That's

12:20

how that's how much these teachers suck. I'm

12:22

sorry you're talking about the challenger disaster. Yeah

12:26

Come on. I'm sorry I thought

12:28

we were going hard right now against

12:31

these freakin teachers. What's her name Sally?

12:35

Sally rad Did

12:37

she blow up in the she blew

12:39

up because she tried to give the other guys No,

12:43

what's the other one the other cuz both

12:45

both if this has happened twice There was

12:47

the challenger and the Columbia right and it

12:49

was teachers both times. I think both times

12:53

No, they were just regular but wasn't there one where

12:55

they said Big Bird up and it exploded Any

13:00

time they do a gimmick booking

13:02

yeah, yeah anytime someone like you

13:04

they have like a nepotism booking

13:07

Yeah, that lady Sally Ride

13:09

was you know, they've seen a lot

13:11

of monkeys and dogs and stuff Well,

13:13

that's clearly they did that first Russia

13:15

sent a dog and we were like

13:17

well, and then they're like next wrong

13:19

woman Yeah monkey we're going monkey It

13:24

is funny that they went dog

13:26

monkey white man Yeah,

13:29

then broad, you know, yeah, that was kind

13:31

of woke of them. Yeah, if you think

13:33

about it, yeah We're we're low starting at

13:35

the bottom. Yeah, we're way up and you

13:38

go dog monkey white man I think

13:41

that's well that speaks a lot every

13:44

other That's kind of you

13:46

know, yes in the 60s was like there's

13:48

look if we send the monkey in the

13:51

space and then right after that I

13:55

Mean people are gonna look at it

13:57

outside the streets are burning can't

14:00

do that. They're rioting. Get Buzz,

14:02

what's his name? Buzz Lightyear.

14:05

Neil Hamburger. Neil Hamburger. Yeah.

14:09

Get them skies. We need Buzz Lightyear.

14:11

We know white men are trash. Let's

14:16

get them up there with the dogs.

14:18

Yeah. This is one small step for

14:20

a white man. One

14:22

giant leap for white

14:25

mankind. That was beautiful.

14:28

I told my dad, you remember in high school

14:30

they were like, it's fake. The moon landing, that

14:32

had a moment. There was a fox. Are

14:34

some people still say it's fake? I don't

14:37

know. It's nerd. Fox prime time, one of

14:39

their big prime time specials was the moon

14:41

landing was fake. We found aliens. They would

14:43

do conspiracy stuff. Yeah. And when I was

14:45

a kid, I loved that. I was

14:47

like, I would be getting ready for it. It would be

14:49

8 p.m. I'm like, Fox

14:52

has it. This is the world premiere. They're

14:54

letting everyone know. They found an alien back

14:57

in the 40s. And magic secrets revealed was

14:59

another one. Yeah, they did a bunch of

15:01

those. Yeah. But just snitching

15:03

shows. But yeah, I

15:05

remember I told my dad, my dad, like

15:07

just his tears welled up in his eyes

15:09

and he's like, if it didn't happen,

15:11

I wouldn't

15:14

want to know. It was such

15:16

an amazing part. It

15:19

is like a big own of the boomers that

15:22

they didn't even get to watch that. Like if I said that,

15:24

I was like, dad, it's fake. He said, shut the fuck up. No,

15:26

it's not. They still got to watch the

15:29

president get killed. That's cool. Yeah. Yeah. We

15:31

haven't had shit like that. Where were you

15:33

when JFK got shot? Yeah. They

15:35

all know. Where was your dad? The

15:37

book depository. Was it

15:39

suppository? He

15:42

was at the book suppository. That's actually what they

15:44

would call call his ass. He was actually driving

15:47

around and they go, here comes the

15:49

book deposit. A bunch of hot guys

15:52

would just go to town. Yeah. It's

15:55

time to return some periodicals. My

15:57

dad got

15:59

hit by the nuns a lot. He

16:02

grew up in South Boston like Dorchester

16:05

and the nuns were just those they were

16:07

they were around the neighborhood being everybody up

16:09

with the rulers. They did. They would hit him

16:11

on the knuckles. They locked him in a cage once on

16:15

the roof. That was a bad Catholic

16:17

school always describe it like they were

16:19

in Matilda. Yeah. They were in Vietnam.

16:21

Yeah. They were in the

16:23

shit. Well you know that mean teacher.

16:25

Yeah. You know. Yeah. No dinner

16:28

for you or something. And then you get

16:31

out and you're like Billy Joel is trying

16:33

to fuck you immediately. Billy Joel is trying

16:35

to convince you to suck his dick because

16:38

you don't want to die for the good

16:40

day. Yeah. Yeah. So suck this dick.

16:43

Imagine that Billy Joel that in that

16:45

song he's his current age.

16:48

Yeah. So he's 40 he's 80 million years old

16:52

and he's like come on Virginia. He's

16:55

talking to a 12 year old. Yeah. That's bad.

16:57

Yeah. So that song's

17:01

right. That's what it is right.

17:03

He's trying to trick a Catholic

17:05

young Catholic girl into fucking into.

17:07

Yeah. He's trying to sodomize and

17:09

the flower a young Catholic woman.

17:12

How are you inferring sodomy. That's

17:14

what I like to. OK. Listen to that song.

17:17

It's in the lyrics. Regular hymen breakage.

17:19

I don't think sodomy. I'm seeing

17:22

Unsolved Mysteries. Is

17:24

that a real thing the hymen.

17:26

By the time they realized what

17:28

the lyrics were about Billy Joel

17:31

and already raped 17 more girls.

17:34

If you have any information on

17:36

the whereabouts of Billy Joel. That's

17:38

a good impression. Why they give

17:40

the hymen Unsolved Mysteries theme song. It's

17:43

like it has such a sick like

17:45

groove reminds me of the X-Files theme song

17:47

a little. I mean they're

17:49

both they've both got a similar but you

17:51

can. I challenge you to listen. I'll be

17:53

able to differentiate. I don't remember. I can't.

17:55

I can't play the moment and not like

17:58

kind of like get into it. Yeah,

18:00

it's got this like but but but but but but I

18:02

can't do it. I don't know anything about it It's

18:05

sound. It's just it's good. It gets you

18:07

going. Yeah, I haven't listened to new music

18:09

in probably 30 years Do

18:11

you ever feel like those shows kind of left

18:14

you not satisfied though? Which they

18:16

were unsolved No, they solve

18:18

a lot of them. I think they go like

18:20

oh by the way remember that That's at the end

18:22

right bitch that was murdered weeks ago. We

18:25

found her This

18:30

dumb bitch had just one yes

18:37

Yeah It's

18:44

very Miami wise That

18:48

was like more like that one's kind of

18:50

new age you call it Music's

18:53

like kind of atmospheric or space.

18:55

There's music terms pure moods There's

18:58

music terms for it. Are we at? Are

19:02

we at 12 minutes? Okay,

19:05

Adam watch are we not supposed to swear? No

19:10

Adam stop this cuz we're gonna you're gonna

19:12

get a copyright No,

19:15

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from all the bars in town so I

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it's great thanks Lucy for

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Lucy Lucy you love

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nicotine it's such a

23:25

funny way to say Lucy

23:27

Lucy I remember that porn

23:29

pornographic actor Gary pussy I

23:33

love those Gary pussy oh

23:36

my god 40 hours when you

23:39

see Gary pussy that's Nick

23:42

naughty yeah I

23:44

thought it was

23:46

Gary pussy I

23:51

cannot live with myself I found out

23:54

my favorite Gary pussy movie 48 hours

23:57

it's a very different guy My

24:01

childhood ruin. Childhood ruin. I'm

24:05

gonna waste my money getting those guys

24:08

into the most expensive therapist in New

24:10

York City. The Home Depot guys? Just

24:12

sending day laborers to the most. Yeah,

24:14

to like a thousand

24:16

dollars an hour. Yes, Jessica

24:19

Jewish. For Rubinstein. Yeah,

24:21

you know. Gonna break down the one

24:23

thing. Yeah, it's just Barbra Streisand. She's

24:25

doing talk therapy now, no one knows

24:27

about this. Geez, she has

24:29

her own talk therapy

24:31

practice. Just having to talk to Juan Carlos

24:33

and Miguel. Yeah, can we get to the

24:36

bottom of their shit? Why do you

24:38

think you like Looney Tunes so much? Yes.

24:42

You're a grown man. Head to toe,

24:44

Looney Tunes. I understand that Tigger is

24:46

cool, but there's probably something else going

24:49

on there. Are you an animaniac? Yeah.

24:51

What is it about a denim

24:54

Winnie the Pooh jacket that excites you?

24:56

You can't not buy it. You

25:00

have to have. Shopkins. That you just have

25:02

to have. Stab your friend for Winnie the

25:04

Pooh jacket. Carlos, I think you were molested.

25:07

Carlos, Carlos, there's

25:09

a 100% chance that you've

25:12

been molested multiple times. But the

25:14

big question is. No more molesting.

25:16

What is inside the Spiderman backpack

25:18

that's the size of half your

25:20

body? What's inside? Abigail. I know,

25:22

tools. I know, there's tools in

25:24

there, but tools don't take up

25:26

that much room. There's gotta be something else in that

25:28

backpack. And a backpack is

25:30

kind of a metaphor for the things

25:33

we carry from our childhood. Where did

25:35

you even find a Kmart in New

25:37

York City to buy the Spiderman doing

25:39

a kickflip through flames? Yeah,

25:46

kickflip Spiderman. T-shirt, where did

25:48

you go to get that? Because

25:50

you must have sought it out. You know

25:52

what Freud would say about that? I-carumba. I-carumba.

25:55

You would say something along the

25:57

way. Caliente. Mm-hmm. Let

26:00

me stop you right there. I know this is

26:02

inappropriate, but I feel like I'm in love with you. And

26:05

I think we have to stop right here because

26:08

it's time for me to ride your face with

26:10

my Jewish pussy. Jessica

26:14

Jewish. I don't know

26:16

where I am. I would say they should

26:18

remake Prince of Tides, where the romance starts

26:20

between Barbra Streisand and Nick Noltey. Right.

26:23

Like in the beginning of the therapy

26:25

session. So he's already dating her and like, you

26:27

know, being a father figure or son. He's like,

26:30

I was raped by a couple of guys

26:32

who broke out of a prison. And

26:34

then she's like, never mind. I

26:38

think, you know, this thing is run

26:40

its course. We can work with this. Maybe

26:43

we take a step back from the

26:45

relationship perhaps. And you stay away from

26:47

my son. But

26:50

I told him I'd throw football. God

26:53

damn it. Why can't I? I

26:56

was lying. I was

26:58

just trying to spend more time with you.

27:00

That's right. I thought you were Gary Pussy.

27:02

I had no idea it was Nick Noltey.

27:06

I feel lied to. You

27:08

guys do good Streisand. Oh,

27:12

I live it, baby. Yeah, my

27:14

mother, my every one of

27:16

the J's moms like that's

27:19

their hero. Yeah. Yeah. Why, though?

27:21

Does she what does she do?

27:23

Really? I don't know. Does she

27:25

do anything? It's so crazy. Hasn't

27:28

she like won every award? Isn't she like

27:30

an egot? Yeah. Yeah.

27:32

Well, I didn't mention my mother is

27:35

a gay man. Oh, yeah. She's she's

27:37

a 75 year old gay man. So

27:39

she she loves Streisand. She loves Babs.

27:42

It's kind of great. Like they are

27:44

the most loyal consumer base. Like when gay

27:46

guys decide you're iconic, they'll be with

27:48

you the rest of your life. I feel

27:50

like that kind of gay is dying

27:52

out, right? The

27:55

Barbara one. Yes. Well, they're dying with

27:57

her lame. I

28:00

mean well that you like that type of

28:02

gay has been so co-opted by like

28:05

straight people in general Well,

28:07

no, there's a shift Gay

28:10

superfan of things. Well those guys like

28:12

survive. Those are the heroes they survived

28:14

the plague and stuff I mean they

28:16

watch all their friends die. Yeah, I

28:18

the real cultural shift in gay This

28:20

is a working theory. I have is

28:23

it shifted from Talking

28:25

like a Jewish woman to talking like valley

28:27

girl Right. Okay. Yeah,

28:29

that's the kind of the and

28:31

I don't know when that exactly

28:33

happened but after clueless It

28:36

might have been after clueless Do

28:38

you have a gay guy in your life? Yeah,

28:40

my favorite fitness instructor and he's like don't eat

28:43

He's like tough though. He's like don't

28:46

eat. He's like from North Carolina. He's

28:48

like oh, yeah, they're all John Cena

28:50

now Yeah, yeah, he's like jacked farmer

28:52

gay. Yeah, sorry. My brain just shut

28:54

off Okay Sexual

28:58

we're like people are talking and they're like,

29:00

you know You understand all the words and

29:02

then for like just a two-second psych It's

29:06

Charlie Brown teacher Glendale, California.

29:08

Yeah Armenians

29:10

Glendale got the Galleria

29:12

great mall No,

29:15

I was thinking about you said the Valley

29:17

girl thing and it's like it's crazy that

29:19

California shopping like I mean That's like a

29:21

it's like a like culturally a bombshell goes

29:24

off in the fucking 1980s in that mall

29:29

The AIDS crisis Linguistic

29:32

implications. Yeah of Like

29:35

just people like girls in that mall

29:37

saying like every 30 seconds. Yeah,

29:40

I'm riding the crimson wave and

29:42

then it explodes Was

29:44

there? That's the kind of

29:46

shit that is a million years of cause cause wars. Yeah.

29:48

Yeah, for sure I

29:51

think it was probably fast times to yeah

29:54

that that probably but the Accident

29:56

pre-dates fast times. Yeah, it's Southern,

29:58

California No, but it's Glendale

30:01

Galleria. That's where they stay invented it. They

30:03

had a ground zero Ground

30:05

zero. Yeah. Yeah, I do that. I'm gonna

30:07

start despair I'm gonna create a protocols of

30:09

elders of Zion for for the

30:11

for the girl hang out at Glendale Galleria

30:13

or did 30 years Uh-huh Yeah,

30:17

those women are now like 65 years old

30:19

too, which is crazy to think

30:21

those like girls that were like Get

30:24

going. I don't know if there are 65

30:26

years old like 80s mall culture girls in

30:28

1985 Because

30:30

she 50s.

30:33

Yeah, that's old though Yeah, but

30:35

they said that's not you see 50 year old women

30:38

all the time being like oh my god stop I

30:40

love it, you know, and they they they're just

30:42

weathered and they have lots of bangles. That's the

30:44

difference Yeah, they're just they there's

30:46

always like shh Just like

30:48

they fucking sound like somebody trying to steal

30:50

from a vending machine. Yeah, they move loud.

30:53

Yeah It's like it's a dog walking behind

30:55

me. Yeah That Was

30:58

I gonna say nothing? No, I

31:00

had something You

31:04

were like, what are you guys saying? No,

31:07

I want to talk about them Was

31:10

a worthwhile departure I don't disagree I

31:12

made my I made that genius point Wow,

31:16

dude, isn't that crazy? We all talk

31:18

like this now because of fucking just

31:20

because of some dumb bitch in

31:23

1982 I totally paused

31:25

I grew up with a lot of those

31:27

guys like Orange County Maybe

31:32

maybe no Hezbollah. No

31:35

no war at all. Yeah. Yeah, no Israel

31:40

Wiped off the map. Yeah had it not been

31:42

for that goddamn wall that might happen the big

31:44

war is coming dude. Oh my

31:46

god. I I

31:50

Can't wait to figure out what side I'm

31:52

gonna support. Yeah, I'm on the fence. Well,

31:54

that's my Whoever's

31:57

paying more war we're 80 trillion dollars

32:00

in debt that well they're drafting all the walks

32:02

so they say that like 70% of the men

32:04

in this country not fit for the draft but

32:06

they're drafting them anyway right what do you not

32:08

it's just an age thing physically well no I

32:11

know but like they wouldn't be able to like

32:13

do the thing have you seen the people that

32:15

are they're conscripting in Ukraine they're

32:17

probably better than I mean it's like they have

32:19

like radio fucking like like with

32:21

a slingshot up against yeah but they're

32:23

probably better shape they're probably not obese

32:26

I think that's a unfair crude

32:29

stereotype about Americans it's not

32:31

unfair it's we have any

32:33

butterfingers in the refrigerator in

32:36

the mini fridge you'll have a

32:38

little bit of bud just a

32:40

little we got we had a

32:42

we had a there was like a group we

32:45

had a catered

32:48

lunch recently I

32:50

went to go sit at the table with our friends

32:53

and Adam C was the only one available I sit

32:55

down at Adam's seat and he's

32:57

like taking he says just one falafel and

32:59

he's taking he's eating it with a fork

33:01

and just taking small bites like it's tiramisu

33:04

yeah I like to savor you've

33:06

been eating disorder no you

33:08

do no sorry I deflected you

33:11

project it no you're drunk you're drunk

33:13

you're drunk I don't care you're wasted

33:16

a lot I order butcher box you're

33:18

tearing this family apart your false accusation

33:21

I'm sick of this I'm sick of this crap

33:23

how many it's called projection grams of protein do

33:25

you think you get a day I

33:28

like a healthy amount actually I eat

33:31

really healthy okay that's died has been

33:33

dogshit the last two weeks they'd sell

33:36

the goldfish boxes that you can pour it's

33:38

like a giant milk carton and so I

33:40

was pouring so you pour into your cereal

33:43

and now I'm ripping the entire time

33:45

just getting your whole arm gets stuck

33:47

in the mouth part and

33:50

then I have to shake the box of

33:52

goldfish off my hand like

33:54

it's a catfish itself yeah

33:57

just destroying his apartment Yeah,

34:01

trashing everything. I've been bringing

34:03

lamb to the pool. Lamb? Yeah,

34:05

I've been eating what? Just

34:07

in the Tupperware? Like, I'll get a rack of

34:09

lamb. Oh, I make a great rack

34:11

of lamb. I do. See, yeah, you're

34:13

in. Phenomenal. He doesn't make anything. He

34:16

says he makes stuff and then he goes to his apartment and

34:18

his girlfriend's doing everything. She's a

34:20

better person. Where's the spice? Where's the spice?

34:22

Nick came over for Hanukkah. That was so

34:24

nice. It's one of those disgusting... That was

34:26

so nice. I've said this story on the

34:28

podcast a million fucking times, but... It's not

34:30

as... He goes to make

34:32

latkes. Yeah. And then he

34:34

gets to say, you know, you shred the potatoes and you fry

34:36

them. He drops it. He's

34:39

trying to strain it. Drops the potatoes into

34:41

this fucking trap in the sink where all

34:43

the dish water goes. Oh, come on. And

34:46

then he scoops it out. No, I know. No,

34:49

it dropped into a bowl. He scoops it out.

34:51

I've said that to you? He tried to. He

34:53

hates you. No, it dropped into a bowl. Okay.

34:55

But what was in the bowl? I was right

34:57

over his bowl. Here's the point, okay? You're vulnerable?

35:00

I invited Nick to the potato Jewish holiday.

35:02

I thought we could share. There's no balloon

35:04

together. I thought we could share it. I'm

35:06

like, you're Irishman. This is the

35:08

potato one that went over there. I only

35:11

went over there to try out the nice

35:13

Fort Green parking spaces that are free on

35:15

Hanukkah. Fort Green. They are nice.

35:18

Yeah. Adam Spoole. Excuse me. A lot

35:20

of money on rent. Sounds like it.

35:22

It's not that much. I want

35:25

people to think I'm a millionaire. I

35:27

don't spend that much. Come time is making

35:29

like $3,000 a month split between three people. And

35:33

he was like, time to make time to get a $17,000 apartment. I

35:39

like that about you. I have

35:41

a better factor. Dasha did the

35:43

same thing. We were talking about money one time.

35:45

And she's always had like, after you guys broke

35:47

up, she's a nice apartment. She's ridiculous with money.

35:49

I know. I was like, I'm not like

35:52

that. I know. I was like having

35:54

just what I thought was a casual conversation about finances. And

35:57

I was like, oh, you just spend

35:59

everything. Yeah. Yeah, what

36:01

about the future? What's

36:03

gonna happen in the future? Yeah, keep making more No,

36:06

she if she's listening you got to start thinking about

36:08

the future Girl

36:12

you got to think about the future by your dad

36:14

and Omega watch Do

36:17

you buy your dad things yeah, I

36:19

got my dad a personal trainer. I

36:21

built a little home gym Uh-huh. I pay my

36:24

parents phone bill. Oh Right,

36:26

I tried to get my dad to take care

36:28

of himself. It's hard doesn't work Yeah, it

36:31

eventually works cuz I guilted him because I started paying

36:33

for it My I

36:35

tried to do that. I took my dad to a gym.

36:37

I'm like, yeah I was like,

36:39

let me buy you a membership. I'll buy you

36:41

a membership. So he won't do it It's funny

36:43

to like he'll talk about exercise I think I've

36:46

told this story too, but he's like, you know,

36:48

I mean I said I remember taking a whole

36:50

like explain his history Of exercise is just going

36:52

to like one like ab workout

36:54

class once in 1983 He's

36:58

never like he's never your

37:01

transverse abdominals And

37:03

he was trying to like He's like and

37:05

I went and like everybody in there seemed like

37:07

they were already like in shape anyways I'm like,

37:10

oh, this is all a scam He's

37:13

like in his mind people are just in

37:15

shape and then they do

37:17

they go exercise to lie to everybody

37:20

Yeah, as a brag. Yeah to make it seem

37:22

like to make it seem like oh, well, that's

37:25

how that's how I have this He

37:27

was probably trying to Like

37:29

spit game at some let's get

37:31

physical Olivia Newton John South girls

37:33

over the tights. Yeah, Suzanne powder.

37:35

Yeah, exactly And

37:37

summers too with the time master. I

37:40

don't even really know what Suzanne powder is

37:42

I just remember cuz my my grandpa was like

37:44

way fat when I was a kid that didn't

37:46

she have like a flat top Huh

37:49

my grandpa no Suzanne powder. Oh,

37:51

yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She had she had like yes

37:54

She had like a flat top because I remember

37:56

the VHS like my aunt or something got him

37:58

a VHS of like thinking my

38:00

like conservative fat grandfather was going

38:03

to like work

38:05

your hips. Right. And then turn it off

38:07

and say the N word like just

38:11

say it out here. Yeah. But

38:13

I remember that. I

38:15

would look at the box and laugh. I'd be like,

38:17

haha, this lady looks like Bart Simpson. Yeah. She

38:20

was Jack too. She had

38:22

like big arms. Tony Gazelle was the other.

38:24

That was the ponytail. His infomercial.

38:27

He's made me laugh. Yes. He's

38:29

amazing. That guy and his life story

38:31

is awesome, too. Have you ever read?

38:33

No. Again, another thing I think I've

38:35

talked about on the years ago. Who

38:37

cares? But yeah, he he's

38:40

like had all this fucked up shit happen to him.

38:42

He got like hit by a school bus. And

38:44

then while he was like while he was like

38:47

recovering, while he was recovering,

38:49

he went to visit a friend and

38:51

accidentally sat into a bucket of acid.

38:53

Stop it. Who has a bucket? What type of friend

38:55

has a bucket of acid? Who has a bucket? Is

38:58

this Roger Rabbit? He had like a bucket of

39:00

acid and like got severe chemical burns all over

39:02

his like ass and scrotum. How did he build

39:04

his glutes back up? Well, then because of

39:06

the burns, he ended up getting like an

39:08

infection and got spinal meningitis. No, he didn't.

39:10

And went blind. No, he didn't.

39:13

You know what? He got spinal meningitis,

39:15

went blind and then accidentally sat in

39:17

a bucket of acid. Oh, that's how

39:19

obvious that makes way more sense. Yeah.

39:21

Now he was temporarily blind. Temporarily blind.

39:23

Tony Gazelle. Peter, are we at

39:25

the like? Okay,

39:27

let's do it now. All

39:29

right, guys. Bluechoo. Um,

39:33

here's the deal, guys. Let's

39:35

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39:38

Gazelle. Like, you

39:40

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no, she's her clitaurus was engorged because

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a, should we put like a brick, like

42:31

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42:33

that'd be great. Yeah. We'll be

42:35

ready by the end of the pod. Maybe. Yeah. We do

42:37

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what's that? Thank you. But it's also kind

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uh, uh, it's annoying in the same way

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43:13

hear being Ian, it's like somebody's like, like

43:15

gagging the name. Well, it's also

43:18

like if you have a certain

43:20

person throwing only Fiends, you could

43:22

be saying only fans, right? So

43:25

he's like, only fans. Like if

43:27

you're from California, if you're a

43:29

British, you're like, I listened to

43:32

being Ian. Yeah. That's what you

43:34

say. Picard. Yeah. It's Picard's favorite.

43:37

Yeah. One of my favorite podcasts. The

43:41

being Ian. Being Ian. Um, the way

43:43

he's, uh, the way

43:49

he just so open about

43:51

his bisexuality. It's deliberate. Ian

43:54

is, uh, he's just a monstrosity.

43:56

Watching a man destroy himself was

43:59

scar me. and cock. Disgusting

44:01

monstrosity. Revolting every tattoo worse than

44:04

the last. The way he just

44:06

sort of smiled, the more he

44:08

smiled, you would think that seeing

44:10

that, understanding that

44:12

emotion, would make me

44:14

feel happy as well, but it's grating. No.

44:16

It makes me want to kill every time

44:19

I see it. Every

44:21

time I see Ian smile, I want

44:23

to break his neck. He

44:27

looks exactly like Chuck E.

44:29

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44:32

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44:34

your life, so with Blue Chew men everywhere, are excited

44:36

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44:42

delivery. Special delivery. I

44:45

don't understand that reference. You're

44:47

excited to see the postman because he has your pills

44:49

for your email. Oh, you met a minute Mr. Postman.

44:51

I thought you meant the Kevin Costner movie. Yeah. I

44:54

thought it was like that. That movie was so funny.

44:56

I thought that was supposed to be some joke that

44:58

I didn't understand. No, every man is excited to see

45:00

the postman because when your package has arrived, your

45:05

package has arrived. What happened to Justin

45:07

Flanagan? That guy was so funny. He

45:09

works for FedEx, I think. Yeah, well

45:11

he was having a joke about working

45:13

at UPS. He's like, yeah, my official

45:15

title is package handler. I'm like, come

45:17

on guys, can't at least be box

45:19

toucher. Guys,

45:23

they always say first impressions are important.

45:25

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sponsoring this podcast. We love you

45:53

Blue Chew. We love you. I

45:56

love you. Are

45:58

those, those are. liner sunglasses

46:01

can I wear them please your head is probably

46:04

too big it's gonna stretch them out so I'm gonna have

46:06

to say no it's my show I

46:08

know it's your show but my

46:10

sunglasses all right I don't

46:12

know do you think his head is wider than mine

46:14

I'm like being serious a tiny head we measured

46:17

our heads one no until yeah I'm a

46:19

bird brain well you

46:21

don't put them on over your but how

46:23

am I gonna see that's rude dude she

46:27

just said I'm worried your head will stretch my

46:29

glasses actually they look pretty cool on you do

46:32

I look like Kurt Cobain I believe you know

46:34

you look like you look

46:36

like a like an Italian man from the

46:38

from the 60s you know

46:40

you look like is in dr.

46:42

no Dirk Dirk suck lighter Dirk

46:45

suck light mm-hmm nailed it what

46:48

am I saying Pete I don't

46:50

know but Dirk suck light no

46:53

not bad guy the CIA guy

46:55

Felix like oh yeah he looks

46:57

like he's she Teshu it's Hyman

47:09

Teshu it's Felix like

47:11

Kiker Mossad

47:14

I mean SCIA

47:16

what cuz your head's bigger than mine

47:18

it's not that big no they're looser no they

47:21

didn't loose I've never loosened

47:25

anything of a girl I have an

47:27

exceptionally tiny head yeah so

47:34

how is everyone's Juneteenth do you guys Wall

47:39

Street not trading on Juneteenth thank God

47:41

that seems wrong you know what I

47:46

mean like

47:48

if somehow like we had Juneteenth and like let's

47:50

say that there would be reached a ceasefire with

47:52

the south right and they still

47:54

had slavery in the south and then

47:56

the north Juneteenth was a holiday because that's when we got

47:58

rid of in the north like

48:01

this is this Wall Street taking off

48:04

Juneteenth is as close as you get

48:06

to this current modern day slave owners

48:08

in the South Bend like well I'm

48:10

not working today is Juneteenth enjoy

48:13

my lemonade. It

48:16

would be disrespectful. Listen these

48:18

people have been through a

48:20

lot. There was a lot of

48:23

hypocrisy going on. Let's hear about this. But

48:25

like even like the lifeguards at

48:31

my pool are black. Everybody

48:33

in the building had off but they

48:35

still had to work. Yeah. A lot

48:37

of hypocrisy. That's what I mean. I

48:39

know Wall Street shouldn't be taking the day

48:42

off if there are any black people still

48:44

working. Right. You know what I mean. Yeah.

48:46

All of that. I don't know. There's plenty

48:48

of black people that work on Wall Street.

48:50

But come on. They have other jobs too

48:52

that they still had to work that day. Yeah.

48:54

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's

48:56

true. It's got time and a half or something.

48:59

Juneteenth bonus. Yeah. Yeah. I don't

49:02

know. I don't know. When

49:04

did it start like two years ago or

49:06

did it. Right. There's no there's no people

49:08

that were like yeah. You know like I

49:11

was a Juneteenth guy for for a long like

49:13

welcome. But like there's no one like a hipster

49:15

about it. No. No. No.

49:18

They who made it a thing. Trump

49:20

two years ago. I think Obama was

49:22

into it right after

49:25

George Floyd. Oh they were

49:28

like this one doesn't work. So Trump

49:30

was like after what happened to George.

49:32

We had honest I'll be honest with

49:34

you. We had an amazing run with

49:37

alternate side street suspensions during covid. We

49:39

can know in the last couple of

49:41

weeks. Oh we had a lot. There

49:44

was aid. Then it was June. Teens.

49:49

What's aid aid. The

49:51

end of Ramadan. I thought it was

49:54

Eid. It's a. No

49:57

he's he's doing an Egyptian

49:59

pronunciation. You're doing a Syrian. Yeah

50:02

classic classic mistake hell is going

50:04

on I Don't

50:06

know what is going on how's Assad still

50:08

there? and we're not like But

50:11

and then but also he's like still wearing suits

50:13

and just walking around and we've been trying to

50:15

kill him for like He

50:18

is the goat ten years now. Yeah,

50:20

the lion of Damascus. He is the

50:22

absolute goat. The man has survived. I

50:24

mean For like

50:26

30 years. We've been trying to kill this

50:28

guy Do you

50:31

remember they that his iTunes like top played

50:33

songs leaked and it LMFAO. I'm sexy and

50:35

I know it was number one That

50:38

has to be fake. I'm choosing

50:40

to believe it's real I

50:42

mean the funny thing is is that like

50:44

people in the middle like that could be

50:46

the thing that makes peace between the air

50:49

like The Palestinians and the Jews because they're

50:51

both LMFAO style. That's done. It's not gonna

50:53

happen I'm just saying if the next five

50:55

years one of them is dead and

50:58

we get it's just I'm just saying

51:00

If they if LMFAO went to Gaza

51:02

and did the biggest concert

51:04

ever did shots shots shots shots Both

51:06

sides Hamas

51:08

loves that and so do Israelis

51:11

if Imagine Dragons win You

51:14

like imagine drag that now Europe speak

51:16

in my language Really?

51:24

It has to be that has to be the gayest

51:26

name for a band ever imagine Frack

51:30

yeah, it's pretty bad But

51:33

that guy's hot really

51:35

Mumford and songs is a pretty

51:37

stupid name. Yeah You

51:40

know, he makes all the other guys call him dad You've

51:43

made that joke so many times

51:47

Like I mean the fourth wall crumbling it's it's

51:49

about four times I've done it the last two

51:52

times It's been like stop

51:54

it. Just say it to her. Don't say it to

51:56

me. Like I'm supposed to you know Mumford You

51:59

know You know everything

52:01

you say seriously. Thank you. Thank you.

52:04

I appreciate that. Yeah, you know that

52:06

he makes everyone Yeah,

52:09

it's it's it's an abusive

52:14

No, they're like daddy You

52:19

think there's an adult man who still calls

52:21

his dad daddy yeah Who inside it? No?

52:28

Where like who cares yeah care No,

52:33

but I know there are well like

52:35

a guy that's like yeah Karen and

52:37

I took the kids up to the

52:39

lake to stay my dad made Andy.

52:41

Yeah, I mean they need this Yeah,

52:43

every Mormon man probably they say daddy.

52:45

I think so. Yeah, cuz daddy girl.

52:47

They're adult daddy women They're like daddy

52:49

like did you say gay men? I

52:51

said Mormons. Oh I Think

52:54

gay men might call their dad daddy

52:56

mid-rung says daddy still yeah, they

52:58

do every man in the south

53:01

my daddy yeah, yeah, my dad did

53:03

I guess no country for old black

53:06

guys I Yeah

53:11

No, that's daddy. Oh, I believe no they

53:13

say that kind of thing in New York

53:16

Father and then they they it's it's

53:18

like they have like a very specific

53:22

With a black community black New York accent

53:24

when they say father so my father We

53:29

say it like that right I don't know although

53:31

I've never I've never picked up on it. Yeah,

53:33

it's like an old It's like one of those

53:35

words where it's like the pronunciation Seems

53:38

like it's from like way. Yeah, it's

53:40

like Boston. Yeah, it's like old

53:42

school Pilgrims like here.

53:44

I feel like in New York

53:46

by people say one word. It's like what is that

53:48

from the 1600s? Oh the

53:50

way they say it. I think they just mush words

53:53

together sometime. All right. Let's not go there, okay It's

53:57

not it's not that kind of podcast. I think

53:59

it's more which is like a lack of subject

54:01

verb agreement sometimes. I

54:04

don't even know what that means. Personally, we be

54:06

in here. But

54:09

that's a habitual be of a

54:12

name for that. Or

54:15

like ritual be like, you ever see, yeah, is

54:18

what they call that. It's good use of the

54:20

word be habitual

54:22

be. That's what they call that.

54:24

The black version of B is called

54:27

a habitual B. It sounds like a

54:29

conscious style, like lyrical rapper, habitual

54:31

be. Yeah. Yeah. It's when you use

54:34

the word be to describe a persistent

54:36

state of something or like a pattern.

54:38

Like women be shopping. Women be shopping.

54:40

That is true. They

54:43

really have a tendency to shop. Yeah.

54:46

It's too many words. It's too precise. Stupid. Yeah. I

54:48

don't care. B, that

54:50

should, we should be able to take that. I

54:53

think, I think that's on the table. Yeah.

54:55

We be podcast. We just, everyone

54:58

just took Juneteenth seriously for two

55:00

years. B should be on

55:02

the table. We're not going to go to the,

55:05

we're not going to get asked for too much. You know,

55:07

but B is fine. You

55:11

know, y'all, I guess, I

55:13

guess Southern. Southerners have had y'all

55:16

Florida has y'all. Everybody

55:18

in Florida says y'all. How about

55:21

Juneteenth? I

55:23

hear that. I

55:26

think about big teeth, just a guy with huge

55:28

teeth. Finally a holiday

55:31

for me. They're

55:34

like, Gary Pussy. It's about, it's about slavery

55:36

ending. And he's like, ah, I guess I'll

55:38

just fucking kill my show. Brown

55:41

white. Did you do

55:43

anything to celebrate? We're doing June. I

55:46

went to the pool in my building, but I watched that documentary that

55:48

I wanted to tell you. Oh yeah. Tell us, please. It's called

55:51

tell them you love me. It's about the astronauts.

55:54

No, no, it's about the pedophile. No.

55:56

Wouldn't be crazy if NASA had a

55:58

big problem. Can

56:01

you imagine that? That would be funny.

56:03

Wait, tell us about it. Have you

56:06

guys heard of facilitating communication for nonverbal

56:08

people? No. Of course. What

56:10

the fuck is that?

56:14

Sounds like some girl stuff, dude. No,

56:16

you probably... Communication. Say

56:18

somebody has cerebral palsy or something,

56:20

they're nonverbal, and their facilitator will

56:22

help them push the buttons on

56:25

a keyboard. Oh, like Annie Sullivan.

56:27

Yeah. So

56:29

this one... That's pretty much what she did

56:31

for... I almost called... Who's

56:33

the blind deaf girl? Helen Keller. I

56:36

almost called her Harrison Ford. Your

56:40

brain is mush. You're done. You

56:43

know that dumb girl, Harrison Ford. You

56:45

know that lady. Has anyone seen my car cage?

56:48

You know that lady from Star Wars? I

56:50

couldn't talk. So this

56:52

woman was convicted of... Melesting. You know what said?

56:54

You know the irony of that? I knew it

56:56

was a molest. It's always a molest. You know

56:58

what sounds like Helen Keller? Yeah. Chewbacca.

57:05

And that's why he's the king, folks. That's why he's

57:07

the fucking king of this guy. See,

57:09

you guys think you say, oh, that's your

57:11

brain breaking down. No, that's me. There's

57:14

a joke there somewhere, and

57:16

your mind's working on it.

57:19

And it's like, here's a regret. And

57:21

now it creates these bridges to other worlds,

57:23

right? There you go. I'm

57:26

not entering early stage dimension. There

57:29

are no plaques in my brain. The only plaque

57:31

in here is the one on the wall that

57:33

says, never stop dreaming. Yeah, and

57:35

we have a JD power. Never stop

57:38

dreaming, and also no eons allowed.

57:40

No eons. We have no

57:42

eons. The black eons, the white eons. So

57:44

this lady was molested. She raped this guy.

57:48

Why do girls like this stuff? Girls

57:51

are always... I found this fascinating because...

57:53

Why is it fascinating? It's horrible. Don't

57:56

you like it when things are nice? Shut up, bitch. She

57:58

was being nice. She watched that shit

58:00

also. watch that everybody likes it no

58:02

I watch sports really what

58:05

sports I don't like watching you watch

58:07

pickleball did you watch the jinx no

58:10

yeah I didn't watch it

58:12

I listened to the cereal when I

58:14

was moving like ten

58:16

years ago okay that's

58:19

the most true crime I've done

58:21

oh I did America murder the

58:23

Steven Knox

58:26

God I have to turn away can you

58:28

smell my crotch well

58:30

when you can smell it is that

58:32

what it is I feel I'm so embarrassed yeah

58:35

I'm mostly it's chafing and I'm like I think

58:37

the skin is rotting because

58:39

I got I got gained like 20 pounds

58:41

and aqua for down there maybe it's like

58:43

lubin up well I didn't know I was

58:46

huh no goldbarn is bad no

58:48

I got yeah I put lotion

58:50

on it Pete sounds well versed

58:52

in chafing yeah yeah

58:55

I'm chafo all the time she

58:57

rate okay the thing with the facilitator communicators

58:59

they did these experiments they would show the

59:02

facilitator a picture and then they would show

59:04

the nonverbal person a picture and

59:06

then the nonverbal person would type the picture

59:08

that the facilitator saw which is

59:10

like mind meld no

59:13

like empty mind and my facilitator is

59:15

just like guessing what

59:17

they're thinking like they're just right

59:19

like there's no thought going on

59:21

but this specific shot up Nick

59:23

this specific guy no

59:26

I want to hear

59:28

college course and he

59:30

read a book that the facilitator did not read and

59:33

he wrote an essay on it hmm

59:35

so that makes me think like he did have a brain

59:37

and the lady said he seduced her with his words but

59:40

he also had sores on his back

59:43

wait wait the the disabled guy molested

59:46

the facilitator now the facilitator rape

59:48

went to jail okay so

59:51

what's the surprise twist no she wasn't handicapped

1:00:00

And then it gets to the last

1:00:02

episode of the documentary series and they're

1:00:04

like and that was awesome Yeah, that's

1:00:06

awesome that that happened his mom is

1:00:08

the nonverbal guys mom was really mad

1:00:11

That he was like I was changing his diaper and

1:00:14

I could tell that he got raped. It was a

1:00:16

little kid Oh, no, it was a guy with a

1:00:18

diaper You

1:00:21

felt good after how could she tell because

1:00:23

it was replaced with a song This

1:00:27

is in the diaper What

1:00:31

the hell happened to my nonverbal

1:00:34

adult son because the lady was

1:00:36

so like yeah And

1:00:39

you're like are you fucking was she hot she's

1:00:42

like a six she was like Not

1:00:45

guilty now. I'm listening. Why don't you start

1:00:47

with that case on the day that a

1:00:49

six did that yeah, all right? That's

1:00:52

in play all right I think

1:00:54

so Someone a little bit

1:00:57

above me That

1:00:59

is my dream to be a nonverbal

1:01:01

Diaper And

1:01:04

just you really told that story the wrong way

1:01:08

It should be called the man's

1:01:10

dream Should

1:01:12

be like the coolest the coolest guy

1:01:14

ever the name of the documentary He's

1:01:18

like typing out I want I

1:01:21

bet she yeah, but is she yeah, or

1:01:23

is she thinking that oh, it's like a

1:01:25

Ouija board kind of thing right Mm-hmm

1:01:30

Gee would I we are we G would

1:01:32

I would I we your mother fucker would

1:01:38

Ouija would she peeled and got out thank

1:01:41

God She

1:01:45

oh she left her family for the guy

1:01:47

she not on my bird she left she

1:01:49

left her husband with kids That

1:01:52

guy that guy the husband Why

1:01:55

the husband he's got to be that's

1:01:58

got to hurt right yeah Then

1:02:00

the husband does it to get revenge and

1:02:02

he does four million years in prison. He's

1:02:06

like, oh, so if you're going to do it,

1:02:08

then I'll do it too. I'll find the nonverbal

1:02:10

girl and being

1:02:12

executed by, by knives. Stone

1:02:16

to death. Giant

1:02:18

blend. Yeah. That's

1:02:22

a two tier justice system for you

1:02:24

folks. Yeah. Suicide by car out here.

1:02:27

That's why we're marching. Mm-hmm. Okay. Because

1:02:30

a woman is allowed to rape

1:02:33

a mentally disabled person. But suddenly

1:02:35

when a man does it now,

1:02:38

it's a big no one saying this.

1:02:40

No one saying this now. It's a

1:02:43

big problem. Yeah. Why? What's the difference?

1:02:45

Because this goddamn me to situation can't

1:02:47

say and explain the difference to me.

1:02:49

I can't this lady is

1:02:52

a puppeteer for people that can't move.

1:02:54

It's me. Can't see a difference. Maybe

1:02:56

I'm dumb. Maybe I'm an idiot. Weren't

1:02:59

you ladies or maybe there's a

1:03:01

double standard in America. No

1:03:05

marches for that. There's no marches for the man

1:03:07

that rapes a man after

1:03:10

his wife. That guy after his wife

1:03:12

started it. Yeah, she

1:03:14

totally started. Just talker wearing

1:03:16

denim jeans denim shirt denim

1:03:18

tie. This

1:03:21

is Tucker on a love. I love

1:03:23

his podcasting. Look, it's insane because

1:03:25

he has a regular show. And then yeah,

1:03:27

he has a western style show. Now. I'm

1:03:29

just chilling out at home in my sauna.

1:03:31

That's also a podcast. It

1:03:33

has been your mind. Yes, dressed like

1:03:36

a drunk person trying to remember tool

1:03:38

time. He

1:03:41

looks like he's always on Nantucket. I

1:03:44

got to get on that show. You'll do it with

1:03:46

him. Manifest it. What

1:03:49

is manifest? I'm sick of this man. We'll

1:03:51

manifest. I feel like I would be disappointed

1:03:53

if I went to Nantucket because I'd be

1:03:55

thinking about the Pepperidge farm cookies. Yeah. Any

1:03:57

one of those places are really good Tahoe.

1:03:59

I don't think I. could ever go to

1:04:01

Milano I definitely couldn't go to my god

1:04:03

too many Milano's on a Christmas one time

1:04:05

and I vomited and I haven't been back

1:04:07

yeah that's what did it the Milano cookies

1:04:09

yeah what do you think it was the

1:04:11

buckets of cum I had before no I

1:04:13

was thinking yes you saw about you

1:04:17

had come with your family there yeah I

1:04:19

was dunking him in come your grandfather he's

1:04:21

a veteran in front of him he survived

1:04:24

Omaha Beach but he couldn't survive that the

1:04:26

man is a god damn

1:04:34

here finished toilet paper roll

1:04:37

is a straw he liberated

1:04:39

your noise my

1:04:41

god is the sump empty oh

1:04:45

no Karen's drinking a bucket of

1:04:47

her nightly come remember

1:04:53

that is the most rod Stewart yeah

1:04:55

it's the best yeah you remember that

1:04:58

so there's a whole like he OD had his rib

1:05:00

removed to suck his own dick yeah

1:05:03

it's depends on I think it like

1:05:05

how old you are yeah cuz Gen

1:05:07

X for Gen X it's a print

1:05:10

Prince Virginia for us it's is

1:05:12

Marilyn Manson then there's the other

1:05:14

one then Richard Girod puts mice

1:05:17

in his asshole yeah and then

1:05:20

rod Stewart was a party

1:05:22

and drank two liters of

1:05:25

cum well they said the two

1:05:27

liters of semen were rods

1:05:34

which is like too much yeah did

1:05:36

the math on it at one time

1:05:38

and I like double dare challenge like

1:05:41

something like 7,000 men yeah it's way

1:05:43

more than you think like

1:05:48

can you imagine I mean he would it would have to be

1:05:50

like an event was he trying to cure his throat huh

1:05:53

was he trying to like I think

1:05:55

he was trying to be forever young

1:05:57

like that guy who keeps

1:05:59

injecting his kids blood who keeps drinking

1:06:01

his own son's blood I think that's

1:06:04

like yeah that is like there's something

1:06:06

look that good I don't understand things

1:06:08

are right

1:06:11

if you're poor and you

1:06:13

like harvest your kids blood and you

1:06:15

cut your son you are

1:06:17

you go to prison for jail you go

1:06:19

to prison for child abuse if you're a

1:06:22

rich man and you extract it with needles

1:06:24

to inject into yourself and make him talk

1:06:26

about it pose nude with you in the

1:06:28

news totally the people are like

1:06:30

is this guy good or bad right but

1:06:33

if you just want to suck on your

1:06:35

kids arm get some fresh DNA yeah you're

1:06:37

abusive if you talk about it on a

1:06:40

podcast then it's not it's

1:06:42

not cutting your kid out but

1:06:44

I watched Amadeus again yesterday so

1:06:46

man that movie is so good

1:06:48

it's such a good it's just

1:06:50

about a guy that's just a

1:06:52

bitch dude Sally area just he's

1:06:54

just a piece

1:06:57

of shit yeah it has nothing

1:06:59

movie has nothing to do with

1:07:01

Mozart no it's about a guy

1:07:03

yeah just a pussy yeah and

1:07:05

then they use a guy who

1:07:07

like it's it's also just completely

1:07:09

fictional it's sort of like

1:07:11

a libel against the actual Sally area

1:07:13

mm-hmm but they just imagine this world

1:07:16

they pick the composer and said what

1:07:18

if this guy just fucking was just

1:07:20

a just a player hater yeah yeah

1:07:24

just didn't

1:07:27

like him cuz he he's like wow this guy's

1:07:29

goofy I'm gonna hate I'm gonna kill him yeah

1:07:32

cuz he was goofy he was

1:07:34

acting too goofy like Harvey Milk yeah

1:07:37

that's what a lot of gay guys actually be

1:07:40

acting kind of goofy they do be no I

1:07:44

there's a scene right where he's going through

1:07:46

the sheet music and the no mistakes part

1:07:49

and I kind of

1:07:51

sometimes identify with that yeah I was

1:07:53

like yeah you see some no I

1:07:56

wish I'd ever done anything that's

1:07:59

perfect I feel

1:08:01

like a freaking eraser white-out

1:08:03

guy. Yeah, it's fun You

1:08:06

know a lot of us bring a backpack with

1:08:08

us I did spider-man Skateboarding

1:08:11

backpack that's filled with all the

1:08:13

molest Asian wouldn't really be comparable

1:08:15

to soliary What

1:08:18

oh cuz he at least made yeah, he

1:08:20

at least made something It's

1:08:23

more like yeah, it's the the spirit

1:08:26

It's the f. Murray Abraham whose work

1:08:28

you're reading is soliaries and you're like

1:08:31

one of the the mentally disabled people

1:08:33

in the insane asylum At

1:08:35

the end no I'm more of like a unique

1:08:37

that kind of Vienna boys choir the guy that's

1:08:40

in a straight jacket in the end Yeah

1:08:42

saying I absolve you that's you yeah,

1:08:45

I'll take it as long as I'm in the movie

1:08:49

The ending of that movie is amazing It is

1:08:51

a incredible just the priest speechless, and he's like

1:08:54

you don't have to say anything I Love

1:08:58

them. They just take them to line who made that movie Milos

1:09:02

form it yeah, that's right the

1:09:04

man on the moon guy Man

1:09:08

on the moon yeah, Jim Carrey mm-hmm. It's

1:09:10

good. It's not as good as Ace Ventura.

1:09:13

I love Ace Ventura I also love liar liar Such

1:09:16

a good movie That

1:09:19

would suck if I couldn't lie anymore It's

1:09:22

one of my favorite pastimes Yeah,

1:09:25

I lie a lot. I've been lying on stage about how much I

1:09:27

can bench press Have you yep?

1:09:29

What do you say? What is a real number

1:09:31

versus what you're going? I can probably bench press

1:09:33

around like like

1:09:35

with a barbell Probably like

1:09:37

70 75 strong like 85 So

1:09:42

your lie is 10 your lies

1:09:44

10 pounds. Yeah, I see it more as

1:09:47

like I will eventually bench press that much

1:09:49

Are they having you doing bench pressing in

1:09:51

the alpha class? Oh, that's surprising. I thought

1:09:53

it was all like do Olympic lifts I'm

1:09:55

working on my split. That's not Olympic lift.

1:09:57

No that one isn't but I'm working on

1:09:59

my split jerk and my hand clean and

1:10:03

the other ones my deadlifts. Is it good? I can

1:10:05

deadlift like 155 160. Oh,

1:10:08

this is how we should have started. Right. Yeah.

1:10:12

Talking numbers. Nick Nick's

1:10:14

one of the strongest people I know. Yeah.

1:10:18

In more ways than one. Yeah. That's really sweet.

1:10:20

That's nice that you guys look up to each

1:10:22

other. And show five seventy five. Shut

1:10:24

the fuck up. Raw. Yeah. Five seventy

1:10:26

five. Raw. Shut up. So no spot

1:10:29

six eighty five with a slingshot and

1:10:31

a bench shirt. If

1:10:35

you have your right shirt. Thirteen hundred.

1:10:37

Thirteen hundred. With

1:10:39

your special shirt. Yeah. Special bench. And

1:10:41

a bench shirt. Yeah. Yeah. I

1:10:43

would need to buy those like add wrist

1:10:45

wraps. Right. We're talking 1375. Oh,

1:10:50

smelling salts. Now we're 1580. We're

1:10:53

a different level. We're up in the 1500s. Right. I

1:10:56

put a weightlifting belt on. Yeah. Now,

1:10:58

yeah, we're at 17 about 1730. Mm hmm. Kilos.

1:11:03

Yeah. That's what I was going to ask. Are we pounds?

1:11:05

Are we doing? And keep in mind, too, the

1:11:08

numbers I've quoted so far are completely nude from

1:11:10

the waist down. Excellent. I put pants on. And

1:11:13

now a little bit more distance from the bench.

1:11:16

Right. What are you thrusting? What's that? What are

1:11:18

you thrusting? Oh, hip thrust. Yeah. I

1:11:20

don't do those. No, it's gay. It's gay.

1:11:22

It's gay. It's like, what are you doing,

1:11:24

brother? What are you boring? Women.

1:11:28

You're supposed to be hip thrust. Well, that's that's

1:11:30

all the exercise I do. I basically I

1:11:32

do a different type of box squats where

1:11:34

instead of a box, I use one

1:11:37

of those dildos. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:11:39

That attaches. And I don't sit down on

1:11:41

it. I go all the way. I go

1:11:44

to depth so that the tip of the

1:11:46

penis just barely touches my. Yeah. OK, OK.

1:11:48

And then I and then I on the

1:11:50

way up. Yeah. I'm just and then it's

1:11:52

just it triggers something just primal. Yeah.

1:11:56

Something survival comes out and I'm

1:11:58

back up. Back up.

1:12:00

I broke my hand doing a box jump because

1:12:02

I punched it and I have a screw here

1:12:04

right now That happened to

1:12:06

you in your alpha classes.

1:12:09

Yeah, I should be able to

1:12:11

sue them, right? Yeah 100%

1:12:13

that happened so long ago. It happened like last

1:12:15

April especially because it's not like it's Like

1:12:18

one of these things were they'll just be

1:12:20

like hey come take a class It's not like something

1:12:22

you saw it out. You went to the gym to

1:12:24

just like walk around Put

1:12:27

on the expensive clothes you bought the instructor I

1:12:29

was really and then you found out I was

1:12:31

a gay guy John Cena

1:12:35

But I was trying to be cute when I did the box

1:12:37

up I like shut my eyes. I was doing like a really

1:12:39

cute little stance and that's when I fucking broke my hand. I

1:12:42

Like going a lifetime. I love chatting folks up

1:12:44

in the sauna I bet you do I got

1:12:47

yelled at in the sauna for being naked by

1:12:49

this black woman I talked about

1:12:51

this on my podcast she came in well you

1:12:53

have the n-word tattooed on your ass for sure

1:12:55

Who doesn't? We I

1:12:57

don't know I Would never

1:12:59

get a tattoo got the staff involved came in this

1:13:02

other woman brought me an extra towel now mind you

1:13:04

have a very small Magina and thick thighs so when

1:13:06

I'm lying flat like this you can't see my vagina

1:13:09

She had to like come up look and

1:13:11

like become disgusted. She's like this is so

1:13:13

weird You're so weird a lady peeped on

1:13:15

your pussy like my pussy and then told

1:13:17

on me told the head of the spa

1:13:20

to come And give me another towel. There's

1:13:22

a gladden quagmire And

1:13:26

it's like it's sort of turned me

1:13:28

into a misogynist It's

1:13:34

red-pilling me more than anything yeah, why

1:13:36

what are they the men sauna is?

1:13:40

It is like we're in ancient Rome. Yeah,

1:13:42

you have to understand a bacchanalian sex fest

1:13:44

no well No, it's not but it's like

1:13:47

it's just it's the court of the Emperor

1:13:49

Nero. It's the great. It's the great equalizer

1:13:51

We're at the bad people you talk about

1:13:53

business you talk about current events. You know

1:13:57

Talk about working out never witnessed

1:13:59

anything remotely close to any type

1:14:01

of contention in the men's sauna.

1:14:04

Every time I hear about the women's sauna,

1:14:06

it's just, it's like about

1:14:08

to go reach critical mass. You

1:14:11

know why it is? In the 80s. With

1:14:13

the exception of Luis Gomez, by the way. He'll

1:14:16

be happy. Luis, Luis

1:14:19

is banned from Equinox because he- I thought

1:14:21

he quit Equinox. Well, he tells you, he

1:14:23

goes in the steam room, he's like, yeah,

1:14:25

dude, it was fucked up. Like guys were

1:14:27

talking and stuff. And I'm like, that's what

1:14:29

the fucking thing is for. I think there's

1:14:31

two different schools of thought. I think, I

1:14:33

think a steam room, I don't know. I

1:14:36

think it depends. It depends. Sometimes

1:14:38

I do believe the sauna is a place of like quiet

1:14:40

meditation. And if you want to chat, it's not. That's

1:14:43

what the fucking the Zendo is for. The

1:14:46

sauna, you go in there and

1:14:48

you can't, it's hot. You don't need to meditate.

1:14:50

You're already fucking hot. I'll tell you why these,

1:14:52

these girls are acting up because after 80, the

1:14:56

80s, they banned people's for

1:14:58

guys' locker rooms. And so

1:15:00

once they, they were like, they're not. Now

1:15:02

they're now they're now they can't act right

1:15:05

now. They acting different because we're not open

1:15:07

to play. We're not cracking towels and keeping

1:15:09

gym. And then you're

1:15:11

just spying. You're just recording women in the

1:15:13

locker room. And then when you

1:15:15

get sued for it, you're like, I mean, there's a

1:15:17

reasonable assumption to be made that that's what's happening. Have

1:15:20

you seen the movie? We play it in the lobby.

1:15:23

The movie is playing in the lobby. They

1:15:26

should know. Yeah. I remember

1:15:28

as a kid, I would see the cover of that movie. I'd

1:15:30

be like, damn, I can't wait to do that. I'm

1:15:33

like five. I'm like,

1:15:36

when I'm older, it's going

1:15:38

to be awesome. I'm going

1:15:40

to have a secret hole in the women's locker

1:15:42

room. I'm going to look through a hole. Jack

1:15:45

off in like a broom cloth.

1:15:47

There's nothing the girls could do

1:15:50

about it. I'm covered in cleaning

1:15:52

fluid from the all of the

1:15:54

janitor supplies masturbating. And I'm

1:15:56

going to be just like the movie. And

1:15:58

then you watch the movie and you're like this. Yeah,

1:16:01

it's not good. It's not good. No,

1:16:03

it's it's it's bizarre. In fact, yeah,

1:16:05

I think it's gonna be like Animal House And it's

1:16:07

not no it's not like that at all. No, it's

1:16:09

just uh yeah, you're just peeping.

1:16:11

Yeah 1980s peepers a lot

1:16:13

of 80s peepers it really went out

1:16:16

of vogue after that yeah But you

1:16:18

know what society's like a pendulum peeping

1:16:20

is gonna come back. I hope so

1:16:22

I think so Yeah,

1:16:26

really Come Come

1:16:29

on, that's disgusting You

1:16:31

don't know who's you don't know who's on the other side It

1:16:35

could be a five-year-old. It could be five-year-old Nick

1:16:37

Who do you think is the person at fault

1:16:39

because I got enough to a disagreement with someone

1:16:41

about this He was like I

1:16:43

saw a girl getting naked in the apartment

1:16:45

across from like me like he could like

1:16:47

see through her window That's cool, and I'm

1:16:49

like you're you're the problem like you're looking

1:16:51

at her like she's allowed to be no

1:16:54

No, what are you talking? It's her fault.

1:16:56

It's her fault. She knows that he's there

1:16:59

No, I don't she probably she probably wants to get

1:17:01

married to him No

1:17:04

people do that people do the thing where they're like

1:17:06

they probably can't see me they can see you Oh,

1:17:08

yeah, everyone they can see if you're in your apartment,

1:17:10

and you look out the window, and you can see

1:17:12

things All that shit

1:17:14

can see you yeah Yeah,

1:17:17

yeah Someone

1:17:20

doesn't have like a telescope Felix

1:17:23

and amber lived together remember there's that couple across

1:17:25

the street They were doing the podcast and they

1:17:27

would just be like fucking in front of the

1:17:29

windows awesome a window is so cool Because

1:17:33

I think I was the man Yeah,

1:17:36

no, I remember the stop would be at

1:17:38

the window like like like a fire truck

1:17:40

Yeah, but it's their fault. It's

1:17:42

not my fault right. They're not in the

1:17:44

privacy of their own It's in the fucking

1:17:46

it's in the public. Yeah, okay. What the

1:17:48

hell right? And he used to do a

1:17:50

doggy thing where she would be they both

1:17:52

be facing the way they were Details

1:17:57

at all Adam's She

1:18:03

reached climax four minutes into inner still

1:18:05

it's just cool. I'm here for 12 minutes after

1:18:07

like 15 feet away from a Malcolm Malcolm

1:18:09

X mural It's

1:18:15

the spread love is the Brooklyn that mural

1:18:17

cuz it's like it's clearly Denzel on

1:18:19

the cover. Yeah, it's not I

1:18:24

think so. Yeah, I think it's the cover of the There's

1:18:28

a couple other funny ones on there anyway

1:18:31

any plugs Karen I'm

1:18:34

gonna be in Akron, Ohio on July 6 nice

1:18:37

for what the dirigible festival. Yep,

1:18:39

you do. I will see you there No,

1:18:43

there's LeBron James owns a club with a guy

1:18:45

called the 30 something what

1:18:51

The 30 30 Club maybe well,

1:18:54

they used to have the 40 40 Club in New York Yeah

1:18:57

ESPN on the screen. So yeah,

1:18:59

I'm there July 6 July 12th I'm headlining Rodney's

1:19:01

Comedy Club in New York City if you want

1:19:03

to come to that Okay, probably not

1:19:05

gonna sell out tickets go check it

1:19:07

out folks Nick anything you're gonna be

1:19:09

on the road No

1:19:16

I want to figure out some way to just

1:19:18

tackle on a show either before or after in

1:19:20

Austin and then maybe like but like One-nighters or

1:19:22

something. Yeah, cuz I really don't like anytime I

1:19:25

go down there. It's just I'd book it for

1:19:27

the shows I'm like I'll do this stuff during

1:19:29

the day, but I kind of want to just

1:19:31

chill and yeah Just have a nice trip for

1:19:33

a little see the crew It

1:19:36

will be hot Just go to

1:19:38

Barton Springs. I don't really fuck with Barton

1:19:40

Springs. I like going to Krause Springs. What's

1:19:42

what's Southwest? But

1:19:44

it's the same thing. Okay, so natural less

1:19:47

populated Martin was no it

1:19:49

gets pretty busy now. It used to be

1:19:51

less populated but but Austin's You

1:19:54

know what? Maybe I'll just cancel the show not go to Texas

1:20:00

Yeah, it's going to be hot. I will be I will

1:20:02

be a hundred and eight hyenas in Fort Worth. And that's

1:20:04

a fun club. They

1:20:06

never booked me. That's fun. It's like

1:20:08

it's like the setup of the club

1:20:10

is the actual space

1:20:12

is enormous. And then the

1:20:14

showroom is like the smallest room in this. And

1:20:18

they it's like it's like one of the birthday

1:20:20

rooms, a Chuck E. Cheese. Well, that's awesome. Yeah.

1:20:23

And the chairs are the same kind of chairs.

1:20:25

But that's like the best environment because it's like

1:20:27

it's we're just here for we're just

1:20:29

here to laugh, folks. All

1:20:31

right, folks, you're to have some good Christian

1:20:33

laughter here tonight. Awesome. Yeah. All

1:20:35

right, folks, thanks for listening. Yeah, I'll be

1:20:38

asked if I was Mormon. I said, yeah,

1:20:40

I would love some more more

1:20:42

men in my life. Yeah. More

1:20:45

mon. Yeah. Because I'm actually

1:20:47

I'm gay, folks. And

1:20:51

it took Christ to teach me that.

1:20:58

And it's OK, because if you read the Bible, the only

1:21:00

thing that's actually a sin is

1:21:02

fucking the other guys. You can suck them

1:21:05

off. You can fucking jack

1:21:07

off together. All of that

1:21:09

is fine. Yeah,

1:21:11

I grew up with a lot of them, and

1:21:13

I guess the dads were all 16. Like

1:21:16

they were gay. There is no better feeling.

1:21:18

Soak your dick in their ass than to

1:21:20

make turning you just making a cinnabon with

1:21:22

another guy. You guys

1:21:24

curl up and it's just shit. And

1:21:26

I call it a yin yang. Yeah,

1:21:28

it's a cinnabon. Yeah, that's

1:21:31

kind of the so romantic. He bought it's kind

1:21:33

of like when it's three guys, it's the recycling

1:21:35

symbol. And we check the Bible and we say,

1:21:37

yep. Yep. We

1:21:39

didn't lay down together. We fucked completely. We

1:21:42

were standing up. It's in the tablets. We

1:21:44

didn't. I did not lay with another man. I

1:21:48

fucked him on a sex. There

1:21:50

is a difference. All

1:21:54

right, folks, thanks for listening. We'll be back next

1:21:56

week. Take care. Bye. So

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