0:01

Dear diary, Since

0:03

we find ourselves within this circle

0:06

of trust I must confess, several

0:09

times over the last century

0:11

I have considered hanging

0:13

up the cape and collar

0:15

and retiring from the Dracula

0:18

business. It's not

0:20

quite as glamorous as it would seem. Drinking

0:23

blood is pretty yucky, it's

0:25

like a warm penny flavored

0:27

milk shake. Also,

0:31

I can't stand to fly, but

0:33

I'm not that naive, I understand

0:36

that for this realm to be

0:38

what I need it to be,

0:40

it needs me to be Dracula.

0:43

And if all goes according to plan,

0:46

that's exactly what it's going to get.

0:49

Dracula, bloodless,

0:52

forevermore. I'm

2:11

gonna hate Q on that guy. I think he's

2:13

a very sympathetic character. Not me. Did you hear

2:15

the way he referred to blood? It's one of

2:17

the grossest things I've ever heard in my entire

2:19

life. I want to make it

2:21

clear I did not come up with that because

2:24

that's like, you know sometimes Stephen King writes

2:26

something so fucking freaky in his book that

2:29

you're like, I know he's making make believe,

2:31

but that's a freak came

2:33

up with that. Have you ever heard his

2:35

wife Tabitha King in a lot of interviews

2:37

that'd be like, yeah, it's not uncommon for

2:39

Steve. She calls him Steve. To come into

2:41

my bedroom like pound pound pound pound pound

2:43

like Tabitha I did it again. He

2:46

sleeps in her bedroom? He

2:48

knocks on her bedroom door and he's like Tabby I did

2:50

it again. I did it again.

2:52

I spooked myself out. I wrote it to spooky.

2:54

And he's got his petty bear and his little

2:56

blankie with him. He's like, let me sleep

2:59

with you tonight. I gotta sleep with

3:01

you tonight Tabby. I scared myself. Hey, she

3:03

made him lock up Pet Sematary, the manuscript

3:05

for Pet Secretary for years because Pet Secretary

3:07

is great. I love Pet Secretary when the

3:09

dog shows up and he's like, any notes,

3:12

sir? Maggie Gyllenhaal, you saw

3:14

that. Oh, my

3:17

God. Dad. I don't know how I feel about that.

3:19

That was really good. And I hated it at the

3:21

same time. Yeah, I hated how on point

3:23

of us. Okay, the three of

3:25

you and you're now two dogs

3:27

to send down a spiral staircase

3:29

into. We are now two dogs.

3:32

You into an

3:34

underground laboratory, a long

3:37

it's a long corridor, a

3:39

huge, huge cavernous chamber. You

3:42

are looking over it from a sort

3:44

of elevated platform that the staircase exits

3:47

out on to. And from

3:49

this platform, there are two short staircases sort of

3:51

leading down to the rest of

3:53

the lab in the half

3:56

of the room closest to you. Things

3:58

are are way. in

4:01

a state of disarray. There's crates and

4:04

just large glowing yellow rocks

4:06

piled up, sort of, all

4:09

around the room in

4:11

disorganized piles. In

4:14

the middle of the room you

4:16

can see what appears to be an

4:18

operating table where some

4:20

unfortunate soul has wasted away

4:22

to a skeleton. Its

4:25

skull is fastened to a sort

4:27

of helmet which is connected

4:29

by dozens of wires to a console

4:32

further down in the room. The smell

4:35

in here is unbearable

4:38

and it is not difficult to

4:41

ascertain why. On the opposite end

4:43

of this long chamber you

4:46

see a giant

4:48

glass tank, a sort of

4:50

containment unit, which is

4:52

host to what could only be described

4:54

as a bunch of

4:56

unassigned body parts. What

4:59

would have likely been fodder for some

5:01

of his makeshift bodies

5:03

have become something else in

5:06

Dr. Frankenstein's absence. There

5:08

is just a pile

5:11

of limbs, mostly

5:13

hands, sort of

5:15

shambling inside of this containment unit.

5:17

They have formed a sort of

5:19

cadaverous rat king. You

5:22

can see it moving not with any sort of intent

5:24

that you can figure out. It is

5:26

contained and it

5:29

likely hasn't noticed that the five of you

5:31

are here because how would it? There

5:34

are... It's in a tank, right? It's

5:36

in a big containment unit, yes. There

5:39

are... There's sort of metal

5:41

grating on the top and bottom of it so

5:44

it is not like airtight but you know it's

5:46

not like this thing can just like come out

5:48

and destroy you all.

5:51

Two large pylons flank the containment unit, each

5:54

of which is attached through long cables to

5:56

three smaller batteries each. You can see this

5:58

in the map I have. Half

6:01

of these batteries seem to be providing power

6:03

to this containment unit. The other half appear

6:05

unpowered. There is a marquee

6:08

on the containment unit that has a lightning bolt

6:10

and a number four on it. That

6:13

is what you see as you enter this

6:15

chamber. I

6:18

am going to head

6:20

up to the chamber and peer in to

6:23

see if I can recognize any body

6:26

parts of mine. I know

6:28

that I was largely exploded, but

6:30

I don't know the extent to which I was exploded,

6:32

so I'd just like to see if I see any

6:34

like hands. I feel like Pierre

6:36

explained it pretty well. But you never

6:38

know. You

6:41

never know. She's holding out hope. You

6:43

don't want her to hope? I'm

6:46

going to need a fairly high perception check on

6:48

this because this is a pretty huge room you

6:50

just wandered into and there's a lot of shit

6:52

everywhere. I'm just looking at the tank.

6:54

I'm just looking at the tank. Well because they said

6:57

to throw out the limbs order. Yes. Give me an

6:59

investigation check. Okay.

7:06

Oh my god.

7:08

That's a Nat 20. Natural

7:10

20? Fuck man. You

7:12

know everything. Take a second. It's all right.

7:14

No one expects a natural 20. The

7:18

containment unit is illuminated in the side

7:20

with the same sort of yellow light

7:22

that is coming off of the batteries

7:25

and the pylons and the yellow crystals in this

7:27

room. And in

7:30

that yellow light you

7:32

see in

7:34

the tank a flash

7:36

of blue. Just

7:39

a faint glint that

7:42

draws your eye. And

7:44

when you turn to get

7:47

a better look you see the hand

7:50

of... I

7:54

mean it's... Hold on. I'm coming up with this

7:56

shit on the fly. Hold on. I guess that's

7:58

such a drag, isn't it? Yeah.

8:02

But a 20 is weird because you got to justify

8:04

it. Right, right, right. Yeah. You

8:06

see a weathered hand,

8:10

your hand, and you

8:12

know it is your hand because

8:15

it is wearing your sapphire signet

8:17

ring. You

8:19

see it clear as day for just a

8:21

moment before it scuttles deeper

8:24

into the pile and you lose

8:26

track of it. Yeah,

8:30

okay. Did anyone else see that? Anyone?

8:34

He's got my hand. I've not

8:36

been entirely vaporized. Oh,

8:38

that's nice. That's my good tea drinking hand.

8:45

So you have a bad tea drinking hand

8:47

like that? Look at this. Look at this

8:49

mitt. Look at this. You

8:53

couldn't even properly extend your pinky the way

8:55

you're supposed to when you're drinking. That's true

8:57

because of the sinew. Yes.

9:00

Yes. Oh, too much sinew, that's how

9:03

to say. Griffin.

9:06

Yeah. I

9:10

would like to... Are

9:13

there any like hands scuttling around? Are

9:15

there any body parts moving around outside

9:18

of the containment unit? Give

9:21

me a perception check, please.

9:26

Let's say if you're just sort of scanning the room. Yeah,

9:28

I'm just looking around for weird stuff. That's

9:31

a critical failure. It was. Yeah,

9:33

I agree. Feast

9:36

your famine with you boys today. I

9:38

know you don't see anything. It

9:41

is so the thing at the end

9:43

of this room is so grotesque and

9:45

horrifying. It is difficult for you even

9:47

a seasoned monster hunter to like pull

9:49

your attention away from it. Philo,

9:53

any checks you'd like to make any action? Yeah,

9:57

I think... I

10:00

think he'd like to take a look at

10:04

the Lightning Bolt 4 thing. Okay.

10:09

To kind of see if there's

10:12

any kind of operating mechanism for the containment

10:14

unit. Sure. We'll

10:17

say that, you know, you are a practitioner

10:20

of the medical arts

10:22

for the most part, but... And an artificer.

10:24

And an artificer, that's a very good point.

10:27

Okay, so we'll do a... we'll

10:31

call this arcana, right? That is

10:33

a sort of summary knowledge of

10:35

your magical stuff, and this is,

10:38

you know, the other side of the same coin. Okay.

10:40

So it's... Holy shit!

10:43

Well, how about a 21? No!

10:47

Alright, yeah. You get

10:50

a... you get a basic

10:52

sort of idea of this machinery just

10:54

sort of following the cables, right? It's

10:57

all one unit. There is a table

10:59

with the helmet and the skeleton that

11:01

seems to be going into this unit.

11:06

The containment unit. The batteries

11:08

are powering the whole thing. These

11:10

six batteries, three of which are

11:13

turned on, three of which are not, sort

11:15

of funneling energy through these pylons into the

11:18

tank. There

11:20

is a console on the front of the tank

11:22

that everything seems to be connected to. You

11:25

can see the console is in a, like

11:28

everything else in here, a state of disrepair. There are...

11:31

there's a portion of it that's just been smashed in. There's

11:33

buttons missing, but there are a few things sort

11:36

of illuminated that you can't quite see from here.

11:40

The creature

11:42

inside of the containment unit, it

11:45

seems like this thing is used for

11:47

something else, and this is a nest

11:51

for a bigger monster. You get the

11:53

impression that this shambling mass of limbs

11:55

that has taken up residence in here,

11:57

that's not what this machine is for.

12:00

It just happens to be maybe the warmest spot in

12:02

the room. Is it closed?

12:05

Is it sealed in there? Except

12:08

there's some gaps in like a

12:10

metal bar near the top of

12:12

the unit, but it does

12:15

seem to be otherwise sealed in there.

12:17

Okay, so my limb, does it just seem to be

12:19

in there or is it part of the... It's part

12:21

of the blob. Blob,

12:24

okay. Mound is what it's

12:27

labeled as here. Mound, I

12:29

would love to attack the glass

12:31

of the tank with a sword

12:33

of my axe. Sorry,

12:36

Jennifer Myers. Can we

12:38

do... Can we contest that? I don't want

12:40

to stop it from doing it. I

12:43

mean, you can certainly talk as you see. This

12:45

is, I will say, a

12:47

huge distance away from where you are. So you

12:49

would have some time as Lady

12:51

Godwin charged Leroy Jenkins' style into the mystery

12:54

lab to... Now wait, I'm pretty sure that

12:56

I ran up to the tank to go

12:58

look for my hand. Yeah. And

13:01

I was at the tank looking for my hand with a

13:03

20. Oh, okay. I didn't... Okay. I

13:05

don't want to stop... I don't want to stop Justin the

13:07

player. I don't want to knock Justin out

13:09

of it. I want Mutt to

13:11

try to like catch the axe or

13:14

get in the way because... Okay,

13:16

how about this? I'll give it to you. I

13:18

rear back to attack. I'll

13:21

give you a whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay. Whoa,

13:23

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Well,

13:26

listen... You see the hat. You see

13:28

my hat. No, listen. Absolutely. Absolutely I

13:31

do. Okay, then. But I

13:33

also see batteries

13:36

running into it. And what if you smash it

13:38

and release a bunch of electricity and fry your

13:40

hand? Hmm.

13:43

Okay. Well... Perhaps

13:45

there's a way to open it without destroying it. Oh...

13:50

Yeah. So, if we could go that

13:52

way. I, um... Hmm...

13:55

Would love to just sort of, you

13:57

know, give this... give it another smash.

14:00

You know I know and listen might

14:02

come to that Of

14:05

course Hmm. I

14:08

suppose we could hold off for a moment.

14:10

I would have to do if smashing does

14:12

need to be done No, it'd love to

14:14

be the party response. Oh, yeah. Yeah, of

14:17

course. Yeah for sure Yeah, and I am

14:19

not leaving without the hand. No, I I

14:21

think we definitely need to recover your hand.

14:23

Thank you Is

14:25

it possible you don't know what I'll do with it, honestly It

14:28

couldn't go with the rest of the the look

14:30

at all if you know what I mean It's

14:32

impossible you have other components in there. Do you

14:35

recognize any? Blin

14:40

I would be Absolutely

14:44

shocked if there's more appendages

14:46

in there of my my own Where

14:50

are you at sort of right now

14:52

brother phyllo's? I'm trying to sort of establish the scene

14:54

here on the map to just kind of well I

14:56

think he got close I think he's also fairly close

14:59

because he got close enough to inspect the the console

15:01

right hey I I

15:04

think Follow

15:06

would like to take a look

15:08

at the batteries Specifically

15:13

The one where there's one battery Disabled

15:17

on the north side there. Yeah,

15:19

okay Give

15:22

me an Investigation

15:25

check or arcana. Well,

15:27

we can also keep that keep that rolling.

15:30

Okay. Oh My

15:32

god, not not 20. Well, no dirty

15:35

20, but still very dirty 20 Okay.

15:38

Yeah, you look around at

15:41

the batteries you see that the the three

15:43

batteries that are shut off They

15:47

Are they're sort of in in in

15:50

different? States right now

15:53

you notice the ones on the other side of the room one

15:55

of them just appears to be turned off One

15:57

of them is sort of a bit frayed at

15:59

the bottom and is

16:02

given off a couple sparks here and there.

16:05

The one you are standing next to is just empty.

16:08

It doesn't seem to contain the same yellow

16:10

stone that the other ones appear to have

16:12

in it. So this one is

16:14

just sort of missing its powering

16:17

core, which you've noticed

16:19

in sort of piles scattered around

16:21

the room. Do

16:26

I see any of the

16:28

those yellow stones? Yeah absolutely.

16:30

Do you want to... Brother

16:33

Philo, I've missed them out of my depth. Do

16:36

you want to try to chuck one of these

16:38

in? Yes,

16:42

I believe if you look at the sign with

16:44

the four and the lightning bolt, I

16:46

believe that's probably telling us if we get

16:48

four of these batteries operational,

16:51

we may be able to operate

16:53

this console. Yeah,

16:57

I'm failing to see if that's something we

16:59

necessarily want. Well you want your hand don't

17:01

you? I do. I desperately

17:04

want my hand. I do

17:06

worry about the power igniting some

17:08

sort of... See that little grouchy

17:12

bugle in there? I'm worried that he'll... Maybe

17:15

that's to open it. Four to open. Maybe. And

17:18

then it'll all sloosh out. Maybe we could

17:20

talk to it. It's made out of parts,

17:22

right? Try to talk. You've

17:25

made quick work of that puppy outside. Maybe

17:27

try discussing the animal

17:30

life or whatever your tricks are. Talk

17:33

about... Sorry. Discuss

17:35

animal life? What's it like? Animal? Animal?

17:38

I don't know how one handles an animal. That hand

17:41

in there never touched an animal. Never?

17:44

Not a fan. Okay. Look

17:47

at these hands. These hands are made

17:49

for petting beasts. You can see

17:51

me scooping up some sort of bear hide

17:53

with a... Do you want to pet Sloppy?

17:56

I'd rather not. Okay. Sloppy!

18:00

He's kind of a new character this

18:02

way. Okay. Sloppy

18:05

seems right at home in here. Sloppy is just

18:07

sort of strutting around, sniffing around.

18:10

There's like a

18:12

little pile of rags that he

18:14

sort of nestles down into. I'm

18:19

gonna... Okay. So, your

18:21

dog, your chicken shit dog is by the door. She's

18:24

not chicken shit, she's worth it. I'm

18:27

going to check out the... So

18:30

there's a helmet on the skeleton that's connected

18:32

to the thing, right? Yes, yes. Griffin,

18:35

in any other game, were we not

18:37

playing an RPG based on Dungeons

18:39

and or Dragons? I would

18:41

not ask this. But is the skeleton

18:43

moving? No,

18:48

the skeleton is not moving. I'm not even

18:51

gonna make you roll for that. Okay, great. It

18:53

ain't moving. Hey,

18:55

sorry to bother you big mass of stuff

18:58

in there. You got a name? There

19:03

is... Where are

19:05

you at as you are doing this? I

19:07

am standing a safe

19:09

distance away. Okay. I

19:13

am standing so at the foot

19:15

of the skeleton table looking at

19:17

the big containment unit. Okay, it

19:19

does not respond. Lady

19:22

Godwin, are you still up against the glass? Sort of? I

19:25

am, yeah. Okay. No,

19:27

there is... I'm not looking at this point. I'm

19:29

just kind of watching it. For

19:31

sure. There's no

19:33

response, Mutt, because there's no

19:35

ears as far as you can tell in

19:38

there. I'll tell you what. I will

19:40

go ahead and grab one of the yellow stones and bring

19:42

it over to Philo. I don't know what

19:44

he wants to do with it or not, but I'm gonna try to bring

19:47

one of them over. They seem big,

19:49

but it's hard to tell scale on a map. They

19:52

are quite large. When you get up to them, they

19:55

are about... I mean, they're

19:58

about the size of your torso. quite

20:00

heavy. You get the impression that with a

20:02

smaller frame, these would not be moveable without

20:05

some sort of special machinery. But

20:08

with you, it seems doable. Okay,

20:12

I'll haul one over. Okay. I

20:15

need you to give me

20:17

first a strength check. Okay. See

20:21

if you can haul one of these things deadlifted out of

20:23

the crate that it's sitting in. Yes, on

20:28

a 17, you heft it up

20:30

from the crate. And

20:32

now I'm going to need you to give me

20:34

a constitution saving throw, please. Wow.

20:41

Okay. On a 20, you

20:44

feel an electrical current charge

20:46

through this thing. And

20:49

it is weird

20:51

because you can tell your body is

20:54

not enjoying the feeling of holding this

20:56

thing. But perhaps through your

20:58

sort of frank and sinion build, those

21:00

signals aren't exactly reaching

21:03

your brain. And so it is not

21:05

an issue for you to hold this. Brother

21:07

Philo, I'm sorry. I don't

21:09

wish to alarm you, but

21:11

this is a little unpleasant. If

21:13

you could let me know if you'd like me to chuck

21:15

in it or not, it's a bit above my station to

21:18

make these decisions. But please, let

21:20

me know immediately. I would

21:23

say that from the earlier 20 that

21:27

Philo would know how to insert it.

21:30

Yeah, there is a hatch on the top

21:32

that you can crack open. Right

21:35

here, my lady. And he opens the hatch. Okay.

21:39

You put the crystal right in here. She chucks it

21:42

in. All right. You put it in the hoop like

21:44

sleigh on. And after she puts the kyber crystal in,

21:46

Griffin, what happens? It turns into a lifesaver. So

21:52

when that happens, there is a

21:55

flicker of light. The

21:57

room grows somewhat bigger. writer,

22:00

as do the pylons on

22:02

the opposite end and the

22:04

containment unit. The marquee, which

22:06

had four, now updates,

22:08

and says eight. And

22:12

when that happens... Wait, it

22:14

says eight? It says eight. That,

22:17

okay. When that happens... Interesting. The

22:21

shambling mound does

22:23

seem to take notice. You

22:27

see a large

22:31

group of hands, sort

22:33

of on the outskirts of the

22:35

pile, extend their fingers suddenly as

22:37

if in a state of shock.

22:39

When that happens, the shambling mound

22:41

shakes like a dog trying to

22:43

dry itself off. And

22:46

all of those hands come

22:48

flying out of the bars

22:50

at the top of the

22:53

containment unit. I'm

22:55

going to need everyone to roll for

22:57

initiative. Hmmm.

23:06

12 for me. 14 for me. All

23:16

right. You count

23:19

ten hands that

23:21

have flown out of the top of

23:23

the tank and landed in sort of

23:25

Fehlenk's formation in

23:27

front of the containment unit. Lady Godwin, give me

23:29

a just straight up luck check. D20. We'll see

23:31

if your hand is one of the ten that

23:34

came out. We'll

23:36

say if it's... Do you think it's good luck

23:38

or bad luck? If my

23:40

hand goes out. I'm

23:42

not sure. We'll say ten or above your hand comes out. Nope.

23:47

Three. Nope. You do not see your signet

23:49

ring amongst these ten hands. It makes

23:52

this easier. They are

23:54

now, like I said, in

23:57

the Fehlenk's formation and they appear to be crawling

23:59

out. outwards in a

24:01

wave. You have activated now

24:03

four of the batteries and

24:06

like I said the number at the

24:08

top has nub increased to eight. And

24:13

first in the order is Lady Gump. Griffin

24:15

can you remind me what was wrong with the other

24:17

two batteries? One was just off?

24:20

One was just turned off and one was

24:22

frayed at the bottom. Great.

24:25

While they're still clumped I'm

24:27

gonna try to grab

24:29

another crystal and chuck it at them.

24:33

Okay yes

24:35

this is going to be a

24:38

bit of a hike I think for

24:40

you to get to one of these

24:42

crystals and chuck it. But

24:47

you can get to the crystals no problem I think it's

24:49

just your your attack roll is going to have to be

24:51

quite high to just even make it to the other room.

24:54

So why don't we do that we'll do an athletics check just to

24:56

see if you can huck one of these things to the other side

24:58

of the room and then I'll make them do deck saves to see

25:00

if this works. Okay. So

25:03

give me an athletics

25:05

check to see how far you can kind

25:07

of cape or toss this thing. Oh

25:11

my god that isn't dirty 20.

25:13

Yep no problem baby. We

25:17

are gonna roll we're

25:19

gonna roll some deck saves. Are you

25:21

throwing it at the sort of northern

25:23

clump of hands or the upper clump

25:26

that's closer to my my my side

25:28

of the map? Yeah we have bad

25:30

news for you we ran all the

25:33

tests it's your upper clump. Your upper

25:35

clump is infected we're not gonna I

25:37

don't know.

25:39

Okay wait can I do another one? I

25:42

think we're gonna have time to do five

25:44

saves. Unless it's better than that one. I

25:48

think I really liked Naughty Briff Hester and

25:50

then Naughty Briff Hester meet the clumps but

25:52

I like the upper clumps the best. Okay

25:55

that one wasn't as good. I don't care. So

25:58

that's two more checks to make if you think. You got one

26:00

more in the... nope. Alright,

26:03

so, five hands, five dexterity

26:05

saving throws. There is an...

26:07

Jesus Christ. There is an

26:10

explosion, a flash of yellow

26:12

light that rips

26:14

through the northern half of the room. It...

26:18

these five hands vanish inside of

26:20

it, and when the

26:22

light clears, only one hand remains.

26:25

There's saves for 10, 9, 6, 16, and 8.

26:28

This is lucky number 16 here. That

26:31

is your turn. Next in the order is Mutt. I

26:35

want to make it to the battery that

26:37

is turned off. Okay,

26:40

that is the sort of furthest

26:42

battery down here. You

26:45

reach it, and pretty

26:47

simply there is just a lever on the

26:49

front of it that is switched into the

26:51

down position. I switch

26:53

it. Fantastic, fantastic.

26:56

You do that, and once again,

26:58

there is a flash

27:00

of light in this room. When

27:06

that happens, I need you to make a dexterity

27:09

saving throw. Please, Crawford Mottner. Dexterity

27:12

saving throw. That's a 15. The

27:17

wires, the

27:19

cables at your feet, attempt

27:22

to ensnare you. They

27:24

attempt to wrap around you. With

27:26

a 15, you are able to

27:28

hop back, realizing what is happening.

27:31

However, that was

27:33

not the only threat here.

27:35

The cables continue

27:38

to sort of grow and

27:41

wrap around themselves until

27:43

they form a

27:46

creature made of cables.

27:49

And that is this vine blight, which is

27:52

now going to join the initiative order. That

27:55

is your turn, Mutt.

27:58

We are going to actually do the vine blight. like

28:00

to turn right now. Can I, I

28:03

want to speak as well if I may. Sure.

28:06

Hey, hey Philo. You're

28:10

like a sciency kind of techy

28:12

person right? Oh

28:14

yes, absolutely. Where

28:17

us turning this on is what we're supposed to do

28:19

right? Because like I saw you guys turn that one

28:21

on so I turned this one on and in retrospect

28:23

like should I ask you first is are we doing

28:25

the right thing turning it on should we turn it

28:27

off what are we looking at here? Um

28:30

I, I don't know

28:33

for sure. What a time to have this conversation.

28:36

I know. I know. You've

28:38

chosen to have this exchange. The

28:42

indicator is up to 16 so I

28:44

would say we're doing something correctly. Yes,

28:46

when you turned on this last battery

28:48

the number doubled once again to 16. How

28:51

does it look inside the tank? Very bright,

28:54

quite bright now. In

28:56

fact I will say with the light as bright as

28:58

it is with the pile thinned out a little bit

29:00

from the ten hands that hopped off of it you

29:02

can see your ring pan again on the sort of

29:05

top of the pile. Let's

29:08

not, let's not turn any more

29:10

on please until I retrieve my hand. I

29:12

don't want to turn it to ash. The

29:18

vine blight is

29:20

a brand new baby is

29:24

going to take its turn now. It

29:28

is going to whip some

29:30

of its vines towards you,

29:33

Crawford Muttner, and

29:36

try to constrict you. That

29:39

is a nine versus AC. That does

29:42

not hit. Tragic.

29:45

Okay. Then that is

29:47

its turn. Next

29:50

in the order we are going to move on

29:52

to Brother Philo. Philo

29:55

runs over to the skeleton on the

29:58

bed. the

30:01

and says I

30:05

have an idea and he

30:08

puts the helmet on his head oh fuck

30:11

okay okay you can

30:13

do this for sure you

30:18

you know yank the skeleton

30:20

down from the table pop the

30:22

helmet on your head from your

30:24

position right here you see

30:28

the console you're

30:31

right next to it where

30:33

you are and there are a

30:35

couple of buttons that are illuminated

30:38

there's a large red

30:41

one that seems to have the same

30:43

lightning bolt symbol on it and

30:46

there is a green one

30:50

with no lighting bolt with

30:53

no lightning bolt

30:55

on it could

30:57

I make an

31:00

arcana check sure you

31:02

may hmm

31:04

10 I

31:07

mean none

31:09

of them are labeled other than this other

31:11

than the lightning bolt on the red button

31:13

so this is not like a you know

31:15

machinery thing this is like a this

31:18

is a poor user interface designed by

31:20

someone who didn't think anyone else was

31:22

going to be using this panel but

31:24

him you

31:28

yeah you can tell that the

31:30

wires at least running into the helmet do go

31:32

into the console and then further into the containment

31:35

unit they are running along the

31:37

ground and so the shambling mound is sitting on

31:39

top of whatever this stuff

31:41

is hooked up into but that

31:45

is that

31:47

is what

31:50

you see

31:53

I think each one to try to communicate with the

31:58

shambling mound Hmm?

32:02

Psychically? What

32:04

do you mean, community? Using the helmet! Okay,

32:07

it's not a... you don't... you don't put

32:09

it on... it's not cerebral. So you

32:11

don't put it on and immediately you're like, hmm, pretty cool to be

32:13

a hamp. This is

32:16

a connecting... I'm trying

32:18

to... I did not think... Yours...

32:21

you've stupefied me with this decision and I'm very

32:23

excited about it. There is no

32:25

voice, there is no psychic connection that seems to open

32:27

up whenever you put on the helmet. What you can

32:29

hear through the helmet, I will say, is just a

32:32

faint buzz of electrical

32:35

energy. Okay,

32:38

alright. Did the two buttons light

32:41

up when he put the helmet

32:43

on? No, they have been on. Okay.

32:52

I think he... I'm

32:56

gonna have Brother Philo drop to one knee and

32:58

pray for guidance. Okay. Is

33:01

this a... do you have the

33:03

spell guidance? Oh,

33:05

I don't know. I have the spell. This

33:09

is all structured. This is all built into it.

33:11

We have mechanisms for talking to God. You can't

33:14

just talk to him. No, I

33:16

mean if you... hey, I... listen.

33:19

The power of prayer... I'm

33:22

always saying this stuff. Very cool. Yeah. So

33:25

if you want to... This goes about nothing else.

33:27

Yeah, yeah. If you want to make a very

33:30

good religion check to

33:33

see if you feel the Lord

33:35

moving in this underground laboratory tonight,

33:37

I will absolutely always allow that.

33:41

Then that is what I shall

33:43

do. Here it goes. A

33:47

15 religion check. Okay.

33:52

What is the name of your... what's your order

33:54

called? Tancred? Tancred. St.

33:56

Tancred. You... drop

33:58

to one knee and you pray. for guidance from

34:01

St. Tingren. And... It

34:04

doesn't work like a lot of people assume it

34:07

does. There is no heavenly

34:09

body that appears before you. It tells

34:11

you what it is you should or

34:13

shouldn't do. It's

34:15

more like a subtle nudging of your own

34:18

common sense. That tells

34:20

you that you are in an underground lab with

34:22

a big weird machine with a bunch of dead

34:24

body parts in it. And there's a helmet connected to

34:26

this machine, and you've put it on your head, and

34:29

you've stood in front of a console with two buttons on it.

34:32

And that is some of the

34:34

wildest shit that you

34:37

or anyone could ever do. As a scientist,

34:40

you know that you are well

34:42

outside of your oaths,

34:46

your Hippocratic oaths, all

34:49

of that jazz, because you've stumbled

34:51

into a strange place. It's like if

34:53

you went into an operating

34:55

room and just started connecting yourself

34:57

to shit. We're all

34:59

willy-dilly without any sort of idea

35:03

of what you're doing. That

35:05

is on a 15. That's what you get. I'm

35:09

not trying to dissuade you either way, but I think with that, you take

35:11

a beat to pray and go, I

35:14

have a machine on my head that I don't

35:16

know what it does. He

35:22

pushes the green button. Okay,

35:26

man. Sure,

35:28

man. Yeah, dude. Yeah,

35:30

bud. For sure. No

35:34

problem. Definitely planned on that.

35:36

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35:54

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Got a few quick announcements for you. Got a

39:00

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it for our announcements. If you don't mind telling a friend

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if you're enjoying Taz vs. Dracula, gosh I

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excited to be doing this season. It's been a

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39:39

a really great response from y'all on it, and

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that is super duper exciting. So

39:43

yeah, we appreciate you. Enjoy

39:45

the rest of the episode. The

39:51

Eurovision Song Contest. Hundreds of millions of people

39:53

watch it every year. It played a part

39:55

in the Democratic Revolution in Portugal, it introduced

39:57

the world to Riverdance, and it launched... Celine

40:00

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40:02

it. It's got so much history and so

40:04

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40:06

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40:08

season, but everyone's a better singer. Well, sometimes.

40:10

But that's where we come in. I'm Dimitri

40:12

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40:14

and we're the hosts of Eurovangelist. If you're

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40:25

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40:27

to sing for them. You're evangelist. And new

40:29

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40:31

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40:38

Chilling Crociola, host of Ceiling

40:40

Scene, where we start by

40:42

asking our guests just one question.

40:44

What movie character made you Ceil

40:46

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41:15

check us out. Oof, this is

41:17

real. New episodes of Ceiling Scene drop

41:19

every week on maximumfun.org. And

41:51

that's a theory trap on Brother Philo.

41:53

Dad, you got back of the Caricervator?

41:56

Guys, Philo falls

41:58

to the ground. and

42:01

is disquietingly

42:04

still. Okay,

42:06

from pushing a button. From

42:08

pushing a green button. I would say there

42:10

are a lot of actions that led out

42:12

to pushing the button, Justin. That's a good

42:14

point, Travis, yes. Okay, quick update

42:16

to the initiative and we're

42:18

off. Unfucking,

42:22

unbelievable. Great turn, great round. Great

42:24

round, everybody, great turn and great

42:26

round. Classic. It's

42:29

me, James Lipton. Dad, Isfila with us.

42:32

Could we maybe speak to him about

42:34

that decision? Yes,

42:36

I am here. Yeah,

42:38

so why'd you do that? I

42:41

thought it would maybe control the

42:44

things within the device, within

42:46

the containment. Awesome, I

42:48

love that for all of us. I love that

42:51

for the season. Okay, so dad died. What

42:53

else, what was next? What? I

42:55

said the order. Next

42:59

to the order are the crawlers.

43:01

And I'd like to point out that if this were Doctor

43:04

Who, and I had

43:06

done that, it would have reversed the

43:08

polarity. Yeah, for sure. And then all

43:10

of a sudden everyone would be saying,

43:13

he's a god, he's a god. Now,

43:15

hold on dad, that assumes that you

43:17

are the doctor and that this isn't

43:20

a regeneration episode because you might just

43:22

be fodder for the cannons. I

43:25

also love that your extreme confidence

43:27

that your character didn't die when

43:30

you have absolutely no idea

43:32

what that helmet does. But you're like, you

43:34

didn't die. It's all

43:36

about faith, Travis. Yeah, I'm

43:39

wild about what just happened. Okay,

43:43

we're gonna just keep on trucking.

43:45

Like that didn't just happen. Yeah,

43:47

okay. So, Brother

43:50

Phylo's on the ground, he is not moving. The

43:52

marquee has updated. Apparently whatever just

43:55

happened drained some of the power

43:58

from these batteries. The indicator

44:00

now reads 12. The

44:04

claws, the hands, are up next.

44:08

You are going to be surrounded here,

44:12

Crawford Muttner, because you're the closest

44:14

target to these claws. They

44:17

are all going to attack

44:19

you, and

44:21

because they have divine blight there on

44:23

the other side, looks like three of

44:26

these five will be with advantage. Okay.

44:29

So, that's

44:31

a 10 versus AC?

44:34

Incorrect. No. Seven

44:37

versus AC? No. Another

44:39

10 versus AC. Wow, you are getting

44:42

some lucky breaks here. I'm very desperate.

44:44

These are looseball hands. Okay, that

44:46

is a crit. Yes, that

44:48

does. Of course it does. I'll

44:50

give you that one. That

44:53

claw just seems to hop

44:55

up in the air and uppercut you. It

44:59

does seven

45:01

points of bludgeoning damage with its

45:04

crit. The last

45:06

claw is going to get a 22 versus AC. That

45:10

one hits you for five bludgeoning damage as

45:12

it sort of leaps up in the air

45:15

and conks down on your head like

45:17

a coconut falling from a tree. Of course. The

45:20

other sort of surviving crawling claw

45:23

here, the other surviving hand, is

45:25

going to make

45:28

its way towards you. It just

45:30

absolutely desecrated Phylo's body. You

45:33

can see it looked at Phylo's body,

45:37

sort of like dinosaur with its hands, sort

45:39

of its middle finger being its long brontosaurus

45:42

neck. You guys know what I'm saying? Yeah,

45:44

absolutely. It checked out Phylo's body and then

45:46

was like, that's not an issue anymore. And

45:50

started to climb its way towards

45:52

you, Lady Godwin. But you chucked

45:54

that rock from a very long distance and I don't

45:56

think a little hand is able to make

45:58

it all the way there in one turn. Next

46:01

in the order is the Shambling

46:03

Mound. Oh,

46:05

I was hoping he wouldn't get to take a shot. I'm

46:09

going to roll a d6 here. Three

46:14

more Crawling Claws pop

46:18

out of the Shambling Mound. And hops

46:20

right back into formation here. That's

46:26

only two. One

46:30

of them Lady Gaga's hand. Make

46:34

a luck check for me, Lady Goblin. Thank you, Mac. That's

46:36

a great point. No.

46:40

Four, four. No, this

46:43

is not...there is still a lot

46:45

of body inside of the containment

46:47

unit. So these are

46:49

just three other hands that have spawned

46:51

in. But that is the Shambling... The

46:56

indicator says 12 now. Do I know when that happened? Yes,

47:00

I explained that. It trained for power when Brother

47:02

Philo used the David Jesus. That button is no

47:04

longer Illuminate, the green button that

47:06

he just hit. Oh, so we don't get turns

47:08

to put on the helmet and push

47:10

the button? Next in the order is

47:12

Lady Godwin. Lady

47:16

Godwin, you are up. Um...

47:25

Okay, see this...huh.

47:28

Normally in this situation I'd want to focus fire on

47:30

the lump because it's just going to keep generating hands,

47:32

presumably. My

47:37

hand is in that lump. I

47:40

do need this to keep going a bit

47:42

longer until I can get that puppy out.

47:44

So I'm going to go ahead and swing

47:46

Jennifer Meyer at the hand

47:49

that's coming for me. I

47:52

know it's a little gauche, but

47:54

as a barbarian you know,

47:56

not what you have as a hammer, etc. You

48:00

are higher on this small staircase that

48:02

you guys are on, so I will

48:04

give you advantage on this attack roll.

48:06

So you're stabbing the hand that feeds you. Very,

48:09

very good. No, I'm looking for the hand that feeds

48:11

you. It looks like a 12. A

48:14

12? No, 8. A

48:16

12 just hits. No, yeah. 12 does hit. Great.

48:20

12 just hits. Roll damage. Pretty

48:23

sure you statistically

48:26

can't not hit it. You're

48:29

not in rage right now, are you? No.

48:32

Would you like to be? Because that's a bonus action

48:34

for you. I know you're new to the Barbarian Arts.

48:36

Oh, thank you. So I need to say that before.

48:38

Yeah, I will go ahead and get into rage. I

48:41

had rage selected, but I'll use the bonus action to

48:43

get into rage. Thank you. Okay. What

48:46

does rage look like for Lady Godwin?

48:49

Like a huff. She's

48:52

in a real tizzy. She's got

48:55

her knickers in a twist. Okay,

48:57

fine. You know what's weird?

48:59

She seems nicer than

49:02

that. That's

49:05

how you know there's trouble. Maybe the

49:07

words are nicer, but the pitch is a little

49:09

higher. The intent is

49:11

not. What about your body? Is there a

49:13

disconnect from what your body is doing and what your

49:15

head is doing? Yeah, I

49:18

think that you got a little bit

49:20

more that the

49:24

body is acting almost

49:26

without her thinking

49:29

about it, right? Like the

49:32

rage is like she's more

49:34

appropriately dignified, mad, and you can

49:36

see the body like almost

49:39

using its muscle memory too, because

49:41

it's a little bit less, you

49:44

know, the ego's a little bit less in the way.

49:47

Okay. All right.

49:49

You absolutely squish this hand.

49:51

Like it is not the

49:54

most sturdy of

49:56

NPCs. It

49:59

barely takes a breath. to destroy these

50:01

things and so a

50:03

horrible cleave from a gigantic axe

50:05

just like it disintegrates. I'm

50:07

gonna use the rest of my movement action to

50:10

close the gap on me

50:12

and Philo as much as I can. Yeah

50:14

you get about halfway there, with

50:16

the rest of your movement. That also sort

50:18

of brings you squarely in range of the other

50:20

three hands that have just

50:22

spawned in. Do you

50:25

have something else? No, I was just thinking

50:27

to myself that I think that might be the first time

50:29

in Adventures in History that one of us has ever accounted

50:32

for movement action. Yes, yes, it's a new

50:34

day. I want to thank Baldur's Gate 3

50:36

and this great map that Gervin has made.

50:38

Yes. It helped me to understand how this

50:40

is in Dragon 4. Next

50:44

in the order is the vine blight

50:46

that you spawned in when you interacted

50:48

with this battery. Mutt,

50:50

it is going

50:53

to try and constrict you

50:55

once again, this time with

50:57

unfortunately advantage because it

51:00

does have you pretty well flanked in

51:02

here. Let's see how that goes. Oh

51:04

my god! You are

51:06

in the Matrix right now. Just that's an 8 and

51:08

a 10 with the advantage.

51:10

Yeah, can't do it. I'm wiry man. Oh

51:13

that would have fucking hurt too. Yeah,

51:15

you guys have you been marking your

51:17

damage trail? I have. Yes, okay cool.

51:20

Yeah that would have almost killed you

51:22

but fortunately for you you are able

51:24

to, I'm not sure how, dodge

51:28

these cables that it is

51:30

whipping in your direction. I'm

51:33

gonna have a little surprise. Roll

51:37

a... roll

51:41

a... a

51:44

luck check for me. No,

51:46

roll an animal handling check for

51:48

me. Mutt, me? Okay,

51:50

hold on.

51:54

Animal handling. 13.

51:56

Okay. There

52:01

is a loud

52:04

bark that echoes

52:06

through this underground laboratory,

52:10

and like a greyhound,

52:14

it is not a greyhound, it is much bigger and sloppier

52:16

than a greyhound, sloppy

52:18

dashes in and

52:21

just devours one of the hands.

52:24

Good boy! That is next to you. It

52:28

is a fearsome,

52:31

fearsome beast, the

52:33

likes of which you are completely unfamiliar

52:36

with because you can see as you

52:38

watch Thoppie devour one

52:43

of these hands that was attacking you, you can

52:45

see by the door into the lab, still sort

52:47

of cowed with her tail between her legs, Lady

52:50

Agatha disalloyed. I think we should drop the lady

52:52

from the name because that will get you... You

52:54

can just call her Aggie. Just call her Aggie.

52:57

That's fine. You see Aggie watch

52:59

this sort of still terrified in the

53:01

doorway. Yeah, you're doing great Aggie. You

53:05

say say... Sloppy. Proud

53:07

to eat through, bud. We all got a role to play. Sloppy.

53:11

Next in the order is you, Mutt. I

53:15

am going to, especially since they're

53:17

so close to me, brandish my

53:19

sickle. Okay. No,

53:23

my dagger. Okay. I got

53:25

me a karamba. It's a curved dagger.

53:27

Cool, cool. And I'm

53:31

going to attempt to slice

53:34

the cables of the cable

53:37

beast in front of me. Oh,

53:39

divine blike. Very, very smart. So,

53:43

I will say there is one thick cable

53:45

that appears to be going towards the pylon.

53:48

There is one cable that is coming from

53:51

sort of daisy chains to the other two batteries on

53:53

this side. Which

53:56

one do you attack? There's one going to the pylon. Yes.

54:00

And then, so it's, okay, so

54:02

I'm understanding it. They're each connected to each

54:04

other. Yes. And then going

54:06

to the pylon. Right. But

54:11

if I slice the cable, it's gonna disconnect the power.

54:14

It sure is. Interesting.

54:23

Hmm. I'm

54:28

gonna disconnect. I'm

54:30

going for the one... I

54:32

will lay it out like this. You have three

54:34

choices. One is the cable that is leading to

54:37

the gigantic pylon on the south side of the

54:39

room connected directly to the unit. Then

54:41

you are also connected to the one

54:44

battery that is still shut down and frayed

54:46

and sparking, and then the one battery that

54:48

is turned on. Those

54:50

are your three options, if

54:52

you want to do this. Action. I'm

54:54

gonna cut the one connected to the sparking one.

54:57

Okay. Give

55:00

me... Here's

55:03

what I will say. This works. You

55:05

slash through... It's a cable on the ground.

55:07

You have no problem hacking through

55:09

that with this dagger. As

55:12

you do that, sure enough, the vine

55:14

blight unspools, unfurls, and drops to the

55:16

ground and is gone. However,

55:20

I'm going to need a dexterity

55:22

saving throw from both you and

55:24

Sloppy here. I

55:26

got a 14. That

55:29

is insufficient. Aw, damn. Uh,

55:33

Sloppy gets a... That

55:37

is a six. No! But

55:40

I will also say three of these claws

55:42

are also going to make next saves. Um...

55:50

Be good. And

55:52

save. Griffin,

55:55

can I make an additional deck save to push

55:57

Sloppy out of the way and take his damage?

56:00

made to advise succeed? Yes,

56:02

let me establish this first. As you

56:05

do that, that battery explodes, it shoots

56:08

electricity out in all directions.

56:11

And you see an arc of

56:13

it hit one of the hands and it

56:16

just disintegrates. The other two

56:18

hands that were in range, they leap

56:20

back away from you, disengaging,

56:24

and they avoid the electricity. You

56:27

are hit by one of these bolts

56:29

of electricity and you are going to

56:31

take six

56:36

points of lightning

56:39

damage. I

56:42

will give you a chance to make

56:44

a deck save with disadvantage if

56:46

you want to try and knock sloppy out of the way. Oh,

56:51

but you are able to

56:53

knock sloppy away and

56:58

you are going to take more damage

57:00

as another bolt of lightning strikes

57:03

you, you take just one point. Sloppy

57:05

is okay. Okay,

57:08

sloppy is a bit confused at first

57:10

as it slides to the ground. And

57:13

remember, you basically have sloppy charmed right

57:15

now with your with

57:17

your magic. So it looks up at

57:20

you and growls for a second, but then it realizes

57:22

sort of what you just did and chills

57:24

out thick. Philo.

57:30

You are there and then you

57:32

are not. You are looking

57:35

into the tank and

57:38

you press a button and

57:41

then you are in you don't feel

57:43

anything. You are just in darkness.

57:47

You and it's not a sort

57:50

of unconscious dreaming darkness.

57:53

You feel like you are just in a

57:55

dark room and you

57:57

are weightless. And space

58:01

and you

58:05

make a...

58:08

this is

58:10

still pretty fucking magical and stuff so I

58:12

want another arcana check out of you. No,

58:16

you know what? No, we'll say this. Perception check. What?

58:19

A perception check? Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, perception check.

58:24

18. Whoo! You

58:27

have the general feeling that you are

58:30

not alone in this

58:32

place. There is some sort of presence that

58:35

is in here with you.

58:38

And just

58:40

as you sort of recognize that,

58:43

you become conscious and

58:46

present and aware of

58:48

yourself in a

58:51

different space. You are... strapped

58:56

to a table,

59:00

a small table, almost

59:03

a sort of

59:05

workshop station. And

59:09

you are absolutely surrounded

59:11

on all sides by

59:15

body parts that are moving

59:17

around sort of on top

59:19

of you. You

59:22

feel completely different.

59:25

You feel very little. You

59:29

are present. Your senses are sort

59:31

of here. But your

59:33

sense of touch is

59:35

not, as far as you can tell. You

59:39

are not sure where you are, what's going

59:41

on, what has happened to you. But

59:45

sure enough, you get the impression that

59:47

you are now inside of this containment

59:50

unit and the shambling mound is on

59:53

top of you. Yikes.

59:56

What do you do? Well,

1:00:02

I'm strapped down, right? You

1:00:06

are, yes. It appears to

1:00:08

just be one strap sort of wrapped around your arms and

1:00:11

your torso. Again,

1:00:14

like, it is confusing because you can't

1:00:17

get a great look at what's happened

1:00:19

to you, but you

1:00:21

get the impression that that's what's going on. Can I

1:00:23

make this body operate? Can I make it work? Yeah,

1:00:27

I mean, you can feel—you can move

1:00:30

yourself around a little bit, but you

1:00:32

are restrained. Could

1:00:35

I free myself with sleight of hand? Yes.

1:00:40

Give me a sleight of hand check. I

1:00:42

will give you advantage on this. For

1:00:44

whatever reason, it is—you find it actually

1:00:46

kind of easy to try

1:00:48

and loose yourself from this strap.

1:00:54

Did I say easy?

1:00:56

You rolled two tens there. You

1:01:00

do manage to wriggle free. As

1:01:03

you do so, one

1:01:05

of the hands here takes notice

1:01:07

of you and

1:01:11

is going to attack you. You

1:01:14

notice on this hand a blue signet ring.

1:01:20

That is an 11 versus

1:01:22

AC? It

1:01:25

does not hit. Okay. It

1:01:27

tries to punch you, but

1:01:30

you, for whatever reason,

1:01:33

it does not connect. You are, again, having

1:01:35

a hard time telling what

1:01:37

has happened to you because you're surrounded by body

1:01:39

parts. It's hard to kind of look around and

1:01:42

see your own body in this body

1:01:45

salad. Gross. Next in

1:01:47

the order. Unless—did

1:01:51

you have anything else? That's probably your action,

1:01:54

Philo, just freeing yourself from this thing. Any

1:01:57

whittle? Unless you had

1:01:59

some sort of— I

1:02:01

was going to try to hold hands

1:02:03

with the sapphire

1:02:06

ring hand. Just like, you

1:02:08

know, intertwined fingers in between. I will allow that. I

1:02:10

will allow that. I will say if you don't succeed

1:02:12

on this, it is going to get another attack on

1:02:14

you. Okay. But

1:02:17

this is going to be, we'll call it just another sleight of hand. And

1:02:19

this is just you trying to grab the

1:02:21

correct hand out of a big, big pile.

1:02:24

This is not with advantage. This is... Okay.

1:02:27

Sixteen. With a sixteen, you reach

1:02:29

out, you grab Lady Godwin's ring's

1:02:31

hand, and you are now holding

1:02:34

it in your own. Your

1:02:37

hand, I will say, you can kind

1:02:39

of see now, it appears to be

1:02:41

impossibly small. Very small. But

1:02:44

you have managed to grab on to this

1:02:46

thing. Next

1:02:48

in the order are the

1:02:51

crawling claws. These

1:02:54

three are going to move and

1:02:56

attack you, Lady

1:02:59

Godwin. Actually, that one would not be

1:03:01

able to get around you without taking an attack of opportunity. This

1:03:04

one is going to just do a normal attack. Come get

1:03:06

it. The normal attack, that's fifteen versus AC?

1:03:11

For Lady Godwin, that is a

1:03:13

hit. That

1:03:16

is a hit. Okay. That hits you for

1:03:18

three bludgeoning damage. Because you are raging, you

1:03:20

have that. Because you have

1:03:22

resistance. Round up. Round up. So yes,

1:03:25

you take two damage. The

1:03:28

first one is going to attack you with

1:03:31

advantage. Thirteen versus AC. That's

1:03:34

a hit. That's two bludgeoning, so

1:03:36

one for that hit. And

1:03:43

the other one is going to attack with advantage. Another

1:03:45

hit, another two, so one from that. One

1:03:48

bludgeoning damage. So they all get hits on you, but

1:03:50

you are fucking really

1:03:52

steamed right now. You are

1:03:54

really steamed. Did

1:03:57

you short rest before you came in?

1:03:59

here because you did you were missing

1:04:01

HP from your horse bite which

1:04:04

is well I mean I don't think we said

1:04:06

it okay that's fine you still

1:04:08

have you're still gonna have still rocking your horse

1:04:10

bite and

1:04:12

now three punches okay

1:04:15

next oh we have three more claws

1:04:17

here I mean yeah I

1:04:20

mean one two of them are gonna move up on you one

1:04:22

is gonna move on sloppy none

1:04:25

of them are going to be with advantage they

1:04:27

are not in Frank oof

1:04:30

21 versus AC yeah

1:04:32

but yeah it's two bludgeoning

1:04:34

damage there the

1:04:36

other one 14 versus AC

1:04:40

just hit I mean hi

1:04:43

yes that's a head so

1:04:45

that's five bludgeoning damage total

1:04:49

no no from the second one oh boy so the

1:04:52

first one reaches up and

1:04:54

just sort of punches you in the

1:04:57

stomach second one right in the right

1:04:59

in your face right in your penis

1:05:01

that hurts bad this

1:05:04

one is going to try

1:05:06

to karate chop the dog

1:05:09

it does not the shambling

1:05:11

mound is up next and

1:05:14

it is going to spawn

1:05:17

some more hands it

1:05:20

spawns four hands

1:05:23

you guys are doing an

1:05:25

okay job keeping the crawling claw population

1:05:27

down in this room but this thing

1:05:30

is wilding

1:05:32

out and spawning a

1:05:34

lot more I'm deleting

1:05:36

that battery it is no longer functional it

1:05:41

says on here that my unarmored

1:05:44

defense should be 10 plus

1:05:47

my dexterity modifier plus my Constitution

1:05:50

modifier do I need to do

1:05:52

something on this sheet cuz right now it's shut automatically

1:05:54

run that run those numbers for you should be 14

1:05:58

so I don't know My dexterity

1:06:00

modifier is 2 and my... Yeah,

1:06:06

my constitution modifier is 2. So there should be 14. It's

1:06:09

saying 10. Wow, okay. Well, yeah, we'll...

1:06:11

I'm gonna need to update it. Yeah,

1:06:13

go ahead and manually update it. And

1:06:16

I might have to feel myself 3 points back because none of this

1:06:18

hits would hit. Yeah,

1:06:21

that is fine. Okay. Alright,

1:06:24

thank you for catching that. Okay,

1:06:27

we are going back to the top

1:06:29

of the order to

1:06:32

you, Lady Godwin. When

1:06:37

I look at... When

1:06:40

I look at... Philo,

1:06:44

what's his scenario looking like over there? What

1:06:46

am I seeing? I

1:06:49

mean, either give me an investigation

1:06:51

check... Thank you. You can tell me

1:06:53

what I see. His still-ass body lying on

1:06:55

the ground. Okay. With

1:06:58

the helmet on his head. I don't have

1:07:00

to roll the C. Yeah,

1:07:05

it's rough all around. Yeah,

1:07:09

and I got 3... Pals

1:07:15

that I guess would get a tax of opportunity

1:07:17

on me. Shit, you know

1:07:19

what? I gotta...

1:07:22

I gotta try to get to Philo, I think. I

1:07:26

know they're gonna get their hits, but...

1:07:28

I just found out my armor class is unbelievable. Yeah,

1:07:32

sure. A 14, unassailable. Yeah. Dude,

1:07:36

there aren't even numbers higher than that on the fucking dice, man. Not

1:07:39

that I know of, yeah. Okay, so you're gonna run up to Philo?

1:07:42

Okay, you can make that, but you are gonna

1:07:44

take 3 attacks of opportunity here. 14.

1:07:50

Ties, hits... Makes

1:07:52

sense. It's an extremely high roll, though, Griff. Good

1:07:54

job. Yeah, unbelievable. That is

1:07:56

5, so 3. damage

1:08:01

from the first attack of opportunity. Second,

1:08:04

we're looking at a five, not

1:08:06

going to hit. And third, 19,

1:08:09

that is going to hit for another three

1:08:11

bludgeoning damage. So that's six bludgeoning

1:08:13

damage total. You are able to get over

1:08:15

to Phylo. What do you

1:08:17

do? Are

1:08:20

any of the hands close enough that

1:08:22

they're going to be able to get to us? Like

1:08:25

are they going to get immediate threat to

1:08:27

him? I mean, you are in range

1:08:29

of every claw right now. So yeah. Right. Yeah.

1:08:33

I think I'm going to have to... Do

1:08:37

I know if he needs help or not? Like

1:08:40

I know he needs help. But like I would definitely

1:08:42

say help. I

1:08:46

mean, I don't know. All that you know is

1:08:48

that he is motionless on the ground. You are

1:08:51

close enough that you can

1:08:53

see he is not breathing. He

1:08:55

is... Yeah. This is a body

1:08:57

just like everything else in

1:08:59

this room attached to a helmet.

1:09:02

After pressing the green button, it's

1:09:04

no longer illuminated. The red button

1:09:06

is still illuminated on the console.

1:09:10

And you don't see your hand inside. It

1:09:12

seems to be pretty deep in the pile

1:09:14

right now. I mean,

1:09:16

that is all that you would know.

1:09:20

Okay. I'm

1:09:23

going to... Man, I don't... If

1:09:27

I said right now I want to hit that big

1:09:30

mess with my axe as hard as I can.

1:09:33

You cannot do that. It

1:09:35

is protecting you all from it as much

1:09:39

as it is protecting it from you all. So

1:09:41

there is no way for you to sort of

1:09:43

get inside of the unit as it is closed

1:09:45

down now. But the batteries

1:09:47

right now are saying 12. Yes. Yes.

1:09:50

And all of them are lit up. Yes. If

1:09:52

I may point something out, would the new hand

1:09:54

spawn Justin did not roll a luck check this

1:09:57

time? Oh, that's a fair

1:09:59

point. Roll a luck check. I thought it was in there with...

1:10:04

Yeah, it's in there with Philo. Yeah, that was... That

1:10:07

was before more hands spawned out.

1:10:10

And so this time with Philo holding on

1:10:13

to it, if it came out... No,

1:10:15

no, no, no. This is a fair point. I

1:10:18

think the luck check is gone now because

1:10:20

Brother Philo has... It

1:10:22

wouldn't matter to me like that's a three. So no,

1:10:24

you do not see your hands. Really terrible. Okay. Wow,

1:10:27

I feel so out of my depth here because he

1:10:30

touched the button and did

1:10:32

all that nonsense. There's a red button on

1:10:34

the console. Yeah,

1:10:37

I think in her

1:10:39

infinite wisdom, I think slapping

1:10:42

the red button is probably just about as good as she

1:10:44

could be able to do. Okay.

1:10:47

You slap the red

1:10:49

button. As

1:10:53

that happens, you see the batteries

1:10:56

one at a time glow bright,

1:10:59

hot, yellow, and explode. And...

1:11:10

Then the two pylons glow in

1:11:12

the same way. Even

1:11:15

brighter now, casting long shadows

1:11:17

against all of the people and

1:11:19

dogs and hands in

1:11:21

this room. And

1:11:24

the containment unit glows in

1:11:27

the same way. And then

1:11:29

they similarly explode. I need you to

1:11:31

roll 12 D10 lightning

1:11:34

damage. For

1:11:38

Lady Godwin? For me? Um,

1:11:43

we'll see. Do you need to do that? You,

1:11:45

Lady Godwin, if you go to the dice button

1:11:47

and click advanced roller, you can

1:11:49

select. Wow,

1:11:53

that's quite good on a 12 D10. That

1:11:55

is a 70. As

1:11:59

it explodes, it looks

1:12:02

like a plasma ball inside of

1:12:04

the chamber. The shambling

1:12:07

mound is lit up by more

1:12:12

arcs of lightning than your eyes can possibly

1:12:15

sort of perceive.

1:12:19

As it does so, it

1:12:21

gurgles and undulates and

1:12:24

it begins

1:12:26

to just sort of crumble and

1:12:31

some emergency lights inside of the lab kick

1:12:33

on. It's much darker in here now. And

1:12:39

you all see that where

1:12:41

there once was a shambling mound. There now

1:12:43

is just a

1:12:45

handful of these hands. There

1:12:49

are five

1:12:53

hands. There's a lot of

1:12:55

other sort of unidentifiable

1:12:58

detritus now inside of this containment

1:13:01

unit, but five hands remain

1:13:04

as sort of combatants inside of the tank. You've

1:13:06

got another 10 on the outside, so 15 hands

1:13:10

quite a bit, but the shambling mound is

1:13:12

no more. It was electrocuted for an

1:13:14

outrageous amount of damage and disintegrates.

1:13:18

You see these five hands. You also

1:13:20

see a small

1:13:22

table in the center of

1:13:25

the containment unit. You

1:13:28

see your ring on

1:13:32

a hand weathered. No way. How does Lady

1:13:34

Godwin see that she is dead? No,

1:13:37

you didn't take that damage. That

1:13:41

wasn't a shambling mound did. Okay,

1:13:44

got it. That makes so much more sense. I was

1:13:46

sitting here thinking about rolling a new character. No,

1:13:48

you are not obliterated by

1:13:51

them. Yeah, no, that purged the

1:13:53

power in the batteries through the

1:13:55

containment unit. It could

1:13:57

go up higher than that, but that was a

1:14:00

a very high roll, so it

1:14:02

was more than enough to… And then we

1:14:04

juiced all the batteries before we activated it.

1:14:06

That's right. So you

1:14:09

see these five hands. You see your

1:14:11

signet ring, Lady Godwin, on a

1:14:14

hand that is suspended

1:14:16

in midair by a small

1:14:19

figure inside of

1:14:22

the chamber. And

1:14:25

as the body parts continue to

1:14:27

sloth away to the floor, you

1:14:30

see this figure revealed. It

1:14:34

is the

1:14:36

strangest thing you've seen today, which

1:14:38

is saying something. Because

1:14:41

holding your disembodied hand in

1:14:44

the air is

1:14:47

Pinocchio the wooden puppet boy. a

1:16:13

work-around network of artist-owned

1:16:15

shows supported directly by

1:16:17

you.