Podchaser Logo
Home
The Adventure Zone Versus Dracula - Episode 23

The Adventure Zone Versus Dracula - Episode 23

Released Thursday, 20th June 2024
 2 people rated this episode
The Adventure Zone Versus Dracula - Episode 23

The Adventure Zone Versus Dracula - Episode 23

The Adventure Zone Versus Dracula - Episode 23

The Adventure Zone Versus Dracula - Episode 23

Thursday, 20th June 2024
 2 people rated this episode
Rate Episode

Episode Transcript

Transcripts are displayed as originally observed. Some content, including advertisements may have changed.

Use Ctrl + F to search

4:01

Yeah man, but is it violence if it don't hit

4:03

you? An

4:06

interesting question. If a karate chop

4:08

falls in the forest. Mm,

4:11

okay. More of like if we

4:13

were to stage, like stage combat, right? Like

4:15

if he was watching a show, we did

4:17

stage combat. You wouldn't arrest the people doing

4:19

stage combat, right? Ah,

4:22

you're here to partake of

4:24

the delightful performance arts of

4:26

the stage. Allow

4:28

me to direct you to the

4:30

theater district where you could find

4:32

any number of shows that will

4:34

almost certainly tickle your fancy. I

4:38

want to look around, see

4:40

if I can find what's, is

4:42

there a projector or something like that? I

4:45

think you noticed when the

4:48

sort of dial was being switched

4:50

around that the chandelier hanging from

4:52

the ceiling appears

4:55

to be the

4:57

thing creating Robert Halloween right now.

5:00

If you want to give me an arcana check to

5:02

see. I will, I will. Yeah, yeah. Thank

5:04

you, thank you, yeah. Well,

5:07

a two plus six is eight. That's

5:12

not a good number. I got a nine.

5:15

Okay, okay. So I know a

5:17

little bit more than dad. Yeah. Two

5:20

from me. Okay.

5:22

Let's add them up. With

5:26

this arcana check, I don't think you glean quite anything

5:29

else aside from

5:31

the fact that this

5:34

Robert Halloween and the dancers that you

5:36

saw earlier and the other sort of

5:38

myriad effects you've seen in this room

5:40

do seem to be being

5:43

projected by the chandelier on

5:45

the ceiling, which is glowing

5:48

with the same sort

5:50

of amber light that you've seen in

5:52

Lumino and in the cameras surrounding

5:54

this castle. Griffin, can

5:56

I do, I would like to do

5:59

a nature check. And

20:00

this is going to be a fairly easy stealth

20:02

check for you to pass. If

20:05

you get like, if you fuck up dramatically,

20:07

like below a five, then there would be

20:10

consequences. But otherwise, you're just dumping some grease

20:12

out a window. I think you can do

20:14

that fairly, fairly chill. So give

20:16

me a stealth check, please. Philo. Okay.

20:21

Incredible. Right. Okay.

20:27

You wait for him

20:29

to pass, gently crack open the window. What

20:31

does it look like? What does grease, the spell

20:33

look like? Is it a tangible sort of component,

20:37

like the rest of your artificer

20:39

kind of stuff? Well, I have,

20:41

I get an increase if I

20:43

use one of my tools.

20:48

Okay. So I'm going

20:50

to use the pestle from

20:52

my mortar and pestle. Sure.

20:55

And gesture with it and it will

20:57

cover the slick grease will cover the

20:59

ground in a 10 foot square centered

21:01

on a point within range and turns

21:03

it into difficult terrain. Rad. I

21:06

love that. Okay. Mutt, you see

21:08

this go off without a hitch. The windows

21:10

already cracked. If you would also

21:12

like to make a stealth check here, I will say

21:14

what you're doing is a bit more

21:16

kind of dramatic, right? So for him to

21:19

not hear, you know, the sound of

21:21

a crossbow bolt

21:23

plunging into the wall beyond,

21:27

I would need a 15 or higher on this

21:29

stealth check. 15 or higher. Okay. Here

21:32

we go. That's

21:37

not going to do it, Griffin. That's an 11. Okay. With

21:40

an 11, you're able to do this. You're able to set up

21:42

this tripwire. You have caught

21:44

Renfield's attention here. You hear the

21:46

footsteps begin marching back

21:49

towards the window, sort of post haste.

21:52

But he's ready. It's time. Okay.

21:55

This is the moment. Now, Godwin, what are

21:57

you doing? I'm waiting.

24:00

Voice as he goes up in

24:03

all right flying drop kick baby. All

24:05

right, give me a that was damage

24:07

I mean sorry as a damage on

24:09

arm strike. He is heavily armored. Whoa.

24:11

Oh Just

24:15

checking here. Yeah, that's gonna do it Yeah,

24:21

his AC is 20 so not

24:23

the easiest fella to knock over okay Now

24:26

he I assume you're just gonna try and

24:28

move him right five feet off the edge

24:30

of the battlement Okay, he is going to

24:32

make another deck save here with disadvantage Because

24:36

of just how desperately you guys have fucked

24:38

him up here That is a seven and

24:40

a 17 the seven does not

24:43

do it Renfield goes plunging over the edge

24:45

of the battlements flaming

24:47

falling down to the to the

24:49

bridge below like a like

24:52

an asteroid from heaven and

24:56

He's gonna take a lot of damage Okay

25:00

He takes 41

25:04

points of damage total between the

25:06

flames and the tremendous fall you

25:09

see him crash down onto

25:12

the Onto the

25:14

bridge below. It's a heavy cement bridge. You

25:16

see sort of cracks form across it But

25:19

it maintains its structural

25:21

integrity He is

25:23

struggling to get up. He is he

25:26

is damaged but not like Horribly,

25:29

so he is still holding together It's

25:32

not like he exploded as soon as he hit the ground.

25:35

It's a big heavy, dude. You have however moved

25:37

him quite far away I Can't

25:40

believe how well that all worked. I

25:42

think nor can I we are

25:44

really good at assassinations Well,

25:47

he's still moving. What else we got? Oh What

25:51

if I 20 feet I'll toss I'll toss my

25:53

hand down there to start choking him ah Toy

25:57

fee yes, yes Yes,

26:00

a couple things. One, he

26:02

is on fire currently. Your hand. It's a

26:04

mage hand, so that's not a problem. Well,

26:07

it's a fleshy mage hand. So I think

26:09

it- You told me it's a mage hand

26:11

though. That's a spectral floating hand. But it

26:14

is your real ass hand. It is. I

26:16

guess you're right, Griffin. Okay, fine. Also, I will say,

26:18

your hand- So wait a minute, okay. Then if

26:21

he's continuing to burn, then

26:23

he's gonna continue to take burning damage. That's true.

26:25

So I'm just gonna wait. Yeah, he also- We

26:27

also now have time. We've made a window for

26:29

ourselves. We can win those. And

26:32

so why don't we kill Dracula now and then get the

26:34

fuck out? There's no

26:36

chance. No chance. It'll

26:39

be like everything will seem like

26:42

it's going well, right? And then he'll

26:45

come out and he'll say one thing and

26:48

then everything will just stop. Yeah, man. I

26:50

can feel it coming. I don't- He's way

26:52

down there, man. We killed Dracula. We got two rooms back to

26:55

the Dookie pipe. He's definitely going to come back. We just got

26:57

the Dookie pipe, man. We're gonna be out. Fine.

27:02

Okay, so you're

27:05

leaving Renfield to his own devices while

27:08

you go attempt to- Let

27:10

me do something first. Please. Let

27:12

me hit him with a ray of sickness. I will say this, he's

27:15

starting to get up. This dude is not going to stay on the

27:17

ground forever. I'm gonna hit him with a ray of sickness. Okay.

27:20

Yeah. Sure, take your

27:22

pot shots while- Yeah, while

27:24

he's down. While he's down, sure. You

27:28

have advantage on this attack wall because he is prone. Okay.

27:33

That's a good thing, because that was an eight. I

27:37

legit don't even remember if- That's a 19. Unfortunately,

27:40

I did just say he has a 20

27:42

AC. Yep. So

27:45

that ray of- That's a tough beat. The

27:47

ray of sickness deflects off of his armor.

27:49

Ooh, wow. You see a

27:51

squirrel in a tree as it bounces off of

27:53

his armor and the squirrel

27:56

just vanishes from how sick it gets

27:58

immediately. Well, I got the squirrel. That's

28:01

true. Okay, with that, he gets up

28:05

and starts marching somewhat slowly, somewhat

28:07

Terminator style. Well, actually the Terminator

28:10

guy moves quite fast, huh? Maybe

28:12

like a it follows style towards

28:15

the front gate of the castle. Griffin,

28:18

would you say that he is a monstrosity? Yeah.

28:22

Yeah. Okay. Perhaps an abomination if that

28:24

is a... I have advantage

28:27

on survival checks to track him.

28:29

Okay. So I'm going to

28:31

shoot him with my

28:34

arrow. Sure. I

28:36

will say this, Travis, if Mutt wants

28:38

to try to triangulate based on sound

28:41

where this thing is using that survival check,

28:43

I will allow that. Okay, great. Yeah, I'll

28:45

keep that in mind. Please don't be over

28:47

that. He effortlessly pushes open

28:49

the front gate of the castle and

28:52

marches back inside and vanishes

28:54

from view. Okay, let's

28:57

get this here. Call of

28:59

an open, slay this guy, we're out. By

29:02

the being I pull his teeth, I pull out

29:04

my set of DeWalt vampires. Shit,

29:07

that's good, Traff. Thank you. I've been

29:09

saying it many times about this and no

29:11

one's registered vampires. Have you? Yeah,

29:13

it's okay. And I'm going to give them teeth.

29:15

They're especially designed for pulling teeth from vampires. And

29:18

I'll get them teeth and then we'll

29:20

hit the road. You know what I

29:23

mean? Okay, the three

29:25

of you approach the

29:27

coffin now that you've hopped

29:29

back into the room and

29:31

gingerly avoiding pieces of broken glass,

29:34

which is like such a danger

29:36

that a lot of people do when they break up. Oh my God, yeah.

29:38

We have shoes on. Yes,

29:41

absolutely. What's your, what's

29:43

the order of operations here? I pull

29:46

scalloper. I

29:48

pull a scalloper and I'm like, okay. God,

29:52

when open scalloper and

29:54

then bless something, file

29:56

load to make it like, you

29:58

know, don't come back. You got something? go

34:00

into the red, you got

34:02

to stay in the good

34:05

color with NetSuite. By popular

34:07

demand, NetSuite is extended. It's

34:09

one of a kind flexible

34:11

financing program. For a few

34:13

more weeks, head to netsuite.com/adventure

34:15

zone, netsuite.com/adventure zone. One last

34:17

time, netsuite.com/adventure zone. And

34:19

a couple of announcements here. First, we're

34:22

on tour this weekend. So if you're listening to

34:24

this before the 21st, get

34:27

your tickets for the Kansas City, Missouri show,

34:29

the St. Louis, Missouri show, and the Tysons

34:31

Virginia show, all of those are my brother,

34:33

my brother, and me. And if you're going

34:35

to be there and you want a question,

34:38

read aloud, or you want your wish to

34:40

be read aloud, you can email nbnbam at

34:42

maximumfund.org and put which city you're going to

34:44

be at. We have

34:46

new tour dates, September 6 and

34:48

7, Portland, Oregon,

34:50

we're doing my brother, my brother, and

34:53

me, and Adventure Zone as part of

34:55

Rose City Comic Con. Tickets go on

34:57

sale this Thursday at 10 a.m. local

34:59

time. Seating is, that's local to Portland,

35:02

right? Okay, seating is general admission, ADA

35:04

seating will be available. You do not

35:06

need a convention badge to attend the

35:08

show. Also on sale

35:11

now is Detroit, Cleveland, Orlando,

35:13

Atlanta, Denver, Phoenix, Indianapolis, and

35:15

Milwaukee. Visit bit.ly slash Macroy

35:17

Tours for tickets and more

35:19

information. We've also got some

35:22

fun mystery sales going on right now.

35:24

Head to macroymerch.com and click on sale

35:26

in the navigation bar. 10%

35:29

of all proceeds this month go to

35:31

Equality Florida. So go check that out

35:33

at macroymerch.com. Don't forget to check out

35:35

bit.ly slash Macroy Tours. And now back

35:37

to the show. Hello,

35:42

sleepyheads. Sleeping with

35:44

celebrities is your podcast pillow

35:46

pal. We talked to

35:48

remarkable people about unremarkable topics,

35:51

all to help you slow down your

35:53

brain and drift off to sleep. For

35:56

instance, we have the remarkable Neil Gaiman.

35:58

I'd always had a- rumination.

42:02

You can see the wheels kind of turning

42:04

in this Count Dracula's head as you're talking.

42:07

He says, uh yes, uh

42:10

I mean that is who you are seeking

42:12

and I assure you that is that

42:15

is not me. Uh

42:18

this Dracula, the original,

42:20

the source Dracula, he

42:25

is the one you're looking for. The one I

42:27

suspect is not here. I have not seen him

42:29

in many

42:31

moons. Um does he have

42:33

a regular hangout in the

42:35

castle? Like a

42:37

rumpus room or a den or something

42:39

where he you know there

42:44

there is okay

42:46

listen I

42:49

can I can tell you what I

42:51

know on two conditions. One

42:56

don't kill me don't slay me

42:58

I don't want I don't want

43:00

that um my existence is somewhat

43:02

tedious uh as I cannot really

43:04

leave this castle but it is

43:06

I prefer it to the oblivion

43:08

of the beyond um

43:11

also I do request you

43:14

must not hurt Dr Victor

43:16

Frankenstein. Okay. He

43:19

also resides at this castle and

43:21

I suspect him and the the

43:23

source Dracula do have their fair

43:25

share of secrets that they

43:28

have not illuminated me into but

43:31

do not hold that against Victor he

43:33

is doing his he's doing his

43:35

best you know. Where

43:40

does Victor uh reside in the castle?

43:43

Uh give us directions? I mean he uh he

43:46

resides here in in the

43:48

bed chamber. Uh he shows he

43:50

pulls out a little trundle bed from underneath the

43:54

bed of the coffin sitting in. Oh isn't

43:56

that sweet? Yes it's nice uh I have

43:58

to sleep in a coffin. Well Okay,

46:02

and says, uh, uh,

46:05

uh, sweater, drag. Um, we

46:09

would like you to answer, uh, uh, their

46:13

question, uh, Godwin and much question,

46:16

um, and if you don't

46:18

answer, and I understand we have

46:20

not agreed to not slay you,

46:22

uh, I

46:26

will use the spell vortex to

46:28

transport you. Into that room

46:30

full of sunlight. Oh, I

46:32

hate that fucking room. I'm

46:34

so bad in there. And have it

46:37

right outside your bedroom. That has got to be a

46:39

pain. It's not it. I've

46:41

told him many times,

46:43

Victor, it would be chill

46:45

if my bedroom was not right next

46:47

to the sunlight room. Um, give

46:49

me an intimidation check, please. Yep. Okay.

46:56

He, he kind

46:58

of, uh, untenses up.

47:00

He says, okay. Okay. They

47:05

source Dracula, the one you hunt,

47:07

the one responsible for everything.

47:12

He, he has gone away. I

47:15

know that much off to his, his

47:18

ascension, whatever that means.

47:21

And it was, it was

47:24

my Victor who enabled him to ascend,

47:27

but he, he wouldn't just. He

47:30

wouldn't just let Dracula go off forever.

47:33

He, he would

47:35

miss him too much. And so I

47:37

was created as a sort of compromise,

47:40

a sort of peace offering. I

47:43

grew off of Dracula and then

47:45

he did some pretty wild magical

47:47

stuff to my brain and my

47:49

memories. And so here I am.

47:51

I like to think of myself

47:53

as my own man, sort of

47:56

self-styled with all the weight

47:58

and wisdom. of Count

48:00

Dracula with none of the murderous

48:02

ambition. However, I

48:08

do feel like Victor's

48:13

heart is maybe not with

48:16

me. I may

48:19

look like the Count

48:22

Dracula who he

48:24

becomes so enamored with, but I am

48:29

incomplete, I suppose. Okay,

48:32

that's a bummer. We do need to

48:34

move everybody, if we could. This has

48:36

been so nice getting to know you.

48:39

So happy this didn't have to get all ugly for

48:42

a change. Please, I beg

48:44

of you. I

48:46

do not mind if you slay the

48:48

source Dracula. If I'm being honest, I

48:50

would prefer it. Okay.

48:53

I just do not harm Victor, please.

48:56

Of course we got it. Yes. Do

48:59

our best. That's not an ironclad guarantee.

49:02

We'll do our best, man. If there's any

49:04

way you could keep Renfield, like even slow

49:06

him down a little bit, we'd love that.

49:08

Fight him. Yeah, we're no, oh yeah, we're

49:10

gonna go. Give me that survival check again.

49:13

Uh-huh. It's

49:18

a 23 on that one. Holy shit. And an

49:20

18 on that one. You

49:23

know what you hear? You hear that

49:25

stomping getting louder and higher, and

49:28

you hear the sound of a door smashing

49:31

open, and then you hear it muffled in

49:33

the distance. It's our

49:35

food. You know, Renfield

49:38

has made it back into

49:41

the kitchen. Dracula says, okay, listen,

49:45

there is something up with the music room. I

49:48

think that wherever the source

49:50

Dracula and the doctor Frankenstein, they

49:52

do their, you know,

49:54

shadowy business. I think

49:56

whatever it is, it is through there.

49:58

I will hold them off in here. long as I

50:00

can but you'd... No, no, no.

50:03

There's no need. Quickly, the

50:05

two of you, follow me to the kitchen.

50:08

Yes. Alright.

50:11

Okay. You all, uh,

50:14

Dracula's like, are you sure he's super big?

50:17

No, it's a good point. Okay. I'm absolutely

50:19

positive. Okay. Alright, let's go.

50:21

We know where he is due to the spell, so

50:23

we get to jump on him, right? Uh,

50:26

you... Yes, I think that... We get

50:28

advantage. I mean, what's the point of

50:31

the spell, right? Absolutely. I'm fully willing

50:33

to reward the, like, incredible tracking skills

50:35

of Crawford Muttner up to this point.

50:40

Uh, okay. You all make it to

50:42

the door into the kitchen. You are

50:44

still in the ballroom, which has been

50:47

turned idle. You see Renfield, uh, sort

50:49

of just smashing through the dining room

50:51

table as he makes his way, uh,

50:54

towards the door that you're just, like,

50:56

kind of immediately posted up behind. Okay.

50:58

I charge into the room and I

51:00

raise Jennifer Myers above my head, and

51:02

as I'm about to strike, I yell,

51:05

Dishes, he's weakened! It's your moment

51:08

to strike! And then

51:10

I bring my axe down on Renfield. Uh,

51:12

okay. Go ahead and I will give you,

51:14

uh, I will give you advantage

51:17

on this. We'll call this a surprise, uh, attack. Uh...

51:20

I'd say 22. 22, okay. And you

51:22

have an advantage. Yeah. And a 19.

51:25

No, 20. It's good you got the advantage, because 22 hits.

51:28

Uh, go ahead and roll damage against

51:30

Renfield, please. Okay,

51:35

alright. 15 damage. Holy shit! That's a big

51:38

hit. Yep, that is a big hit. Uh,

51:41

you bring your axe down into

51:43

the meaty frame of Renfield. You

51:45

see your blade slip, uh, between

51:47

his, his pauldrons to chop down

51:49

into the, uh, into the meat within.

51:52

Uh, you hear a whale

51:54

of discomfort, uh, come

51:56

from inside of this, uh, this

51:58

enormous bulky armor. When

52:01

you retrieve your blade, he stands

52:03

up and looks at you menacingly.

52:06

He does not appear to be like

52:09

heavily, heavily damaged at this point. Perfect.

52:12

Let's see how he feels about the

52:14

next one. I swing in. This is

52:16

seriously any time now. Okay,

52:18

go ahead and take your second attack. That's

52:21

a natural 20. Fuck. Yeah. Hit. So

52:26

that's double damage. Right? It is

52:28

double damage. That is 20. Jesus

52:32

Christ. These rolls are nasty.

52:35

Okay. You swing

52:37

down and this time you don't get in

52:39

between the cracks of the pauldrons. You just

52:41

shear off a piece of one of the

52:43

pauldrons entirely. It clangs to the floor. He

52:47

wails as you chop

52:49

into him again. Can

52:53

I point something out? Please. That due

52:56

to the infusion. Lady

53:01

Jessica Myers has

53:04

a plus one bonus to attack and damage

53:07

rolls made with it. Okay.

53:09

We will add two damage to

53:13

the total damage. I mean every little bit helps. Right? Yeah,

53:16

absolutely. Okay. You

53:19

pull back your blade. Renfield,

53:22

it seems for a second like he is, he

53:25

has been sort of grievously wounded by

53:27

this attack. But then you

53:29

see him just kind of like pop his shoulder

53:31

backwards and then stand up. Seriously,

53:34

anytime and I go in for another. Well,

53:36

no, that is the end of this surprise.

53:39

Quite great weapon master attack. When I score a

53:41

critical hit with a melee weapon, you can take

53:43

one melee weapon attack as a bonus. Fuck. Yeah.

53:45

Okay, go for it. I'm gonna go ahead and

53:47

take one more. Thank you. That

53:53

will not get it there. That's a 14 even

53:55

with the plus one. No, that is not hit

53:57

your third attack. deadly

56:00

assaults that Godwin just laid down and then

56:02

like one little tiny baby slap from his

56:04

bachelor He is he is

56:07

not near near death at all. Can

56:09

I reach Godwin? Like

56:13

am I like if I took a step forward

56:15

to grab Godwin could I do it without like

56:17

going all the way in the room? or to

56:19

have I mean you

56:21

can't do it without revealing yourself to

56:23

to Rain field if

56:25

that's what your your goal is here But

56:28

you could you could get to Godwin and grab her

56:30

if you needed to Who

56:33

goes next who would I know? I wouldn't know them.

56:35

You would not know I'm

56:41

going to Run

56:46

over and turn back on the ghosts

56:50

Um, okay That is

56:52

going to be your move action and your action to

56:54

interact with this dial You're

56:56

switching it just to the dancing ghost setting. Yeah,

56:58

I want it back to the ghost because I'm betting

57:00

that Ranfield is

57:02

very strong and very

57:05

stupid and will be afraid

57:07

of ghosts I mean anybody

57:09

would be afraid of ghosts Travis. It's crazy that there's

57:11

ghosts, right? live

57:13

here That

57:16

doesn't mean he likes that room, but I

57:18

put up haunted mansion decorations for Halloween if

57:20

I walked into my living room And I

57:22

was like what the fuck? I'm

57:25

gonna tell you but you've never worked in a haunted house

57:27

then with an overactive imagination I've worked to man out of

57:30

that's I get freaked out in there all the time I

57:32

thought these grim grinning ghosts were just

57:35

here to socialize And

57:37

I'm rising Nate Renfield as my

57:40

slayers pray Okay,

57:42

it's action. Yeah, you got it Next

57:45

in the order is Renfield Pretty

57:48

easy Renfield is

57:50

going to take his giant

57:52

hand and just sort of

57:56

Try and grab you around the throat and

57:58

slam you against the wall. You are right

58:00

next to Lady Godwin. That

58:02

is a 17 versus

58:07

AC. That hits, yes.

58:11

Okay. He hits you for...

58:16

10 plus 7. 17 bludgeoning damage.

58:19

As he smashes you backwards into the wall,

58:21

you hear something pop

58:24

within your body. It is

58:26

extremely painful. And

58:31

he is going to make a second

58:33

attack against you, this

58:35

time drawing a... It

58:38

looks like a short sword the

58:41

way he's holding it, but if you

58:43

tried to hold it, it's actually quite

58:45

a large sword. That is a 31

58:47

versus AC is going to hit. Just

58:49

got him. Just got me.

58:51

He brings it down and slashes

58:55

you across the torso,

58:58

and you take 15 points of slashing

59:00

damage. Next

59:05

in the order is...

59:07

Oh, he is also going to... Okay, you

59:12

see Godwin. Actually, give me a perception

59:14

check. I will say Godwin. And Philo,

59:16

you're sort of at the door. I

59:19

think you're close enough. Big eight from

59:21

me, dog. Okay. Big eight. Philo.

59:25

Oh, big two from Philo. Okay. Guys,

59:27

what's with the roles? I feel like

59:29

this whole campaign, I would love to

59:31

see a statistical analysis. I

59:33

feel like the roles have been really...

59:35

A real sine wave of... Peace and

59:37

famine, baby. It's really weird. Okay.

59:40

You can't quite... He does something

59:42

weird. He kind of stands up

59:44

and shudders a little bit. And

59:47

then he looks back at you with

59:50

sort of just these pained, malicious

59:53

eyes behind his rusted iron visor.

59:56

Next in the order is...

1:00:00

Lady Godwin. Fantastic.

1:00:02

I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I

1:00:04

got a new thing. I'm

1:00:07

going to, first of all,

1:00:09

activate my rage. Cool. Because

1:00:11

I used that bonus last turn on

1:00:14

my fun, pointless attack. And

1:00:16

then with that rage, activated.

1:00:21

I'm gonna take us another swing with

1:00:23

Jennifer Myers at Redfield. Okay. Going

1:00:26

for the hole in the pauldron that I

1:00:28

made earlier. Kick ass. And

1:00:30

I got a one. Does that hit? Critical

1:00:32

failure. Does that hit? It does not know

1:00:34

your axe. Will Grimman take a second

1:00:36

to check? Oh wait, yeah,

1:00:39

let me look at the math tables. No,

1:00:41

it doesn't, it doesn't hit. It might be

1:00:43

Gary's will. It bounces right off of his

1:00:45

chest plate. He kind of knows how to

1:00:47

step out of the way of these strikes

1:00:50

now. You do

1:00:52

have another attack on the section. Yeah, here it

1:00:54

comes. Here it comes. Um,

1:00:59

that's more like it. Five

1:01:02

plus six, 11. It's more

1:01:04

like it. You can't deny

1:01:06

me that. No, he, it

1:01:09

is more like it. Yeah, it's, you're getting more like

1:01:11

it. Still nine points away from what

1:01:13

would be considered traditionally a success.

1:01:17

No, here's what I will give you. You swing

1:01:19

your axe down again at that gap in the

1:01:21

pauldron. Uh, and you

1:01:24

miss it. However, in targeting it, you

1:01:26

realize like, Hey, I thought I chopped

1:01:28

him there. And

1:01:32

the ax mark that traditionally Jennifer

1:01:34

Myers leaves behind a pretty

1:01:36

grisly, uh, evidence of

1:01:39

her, her grim work. Uh,

1:01:41

it seems like it's not there anymore. Ah,

1:01:44

fuck. I admit to do this on my turn

1:01:46

and it's a free action anyways.

1:01:48

So you just hear from the other room, might

1:01:50

yell. Run. We

1:01:54

should run. Yeah. Yeah.

1:01:56

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

1:01:58

I'm running. Okay, you're going

1:02:01

to take an opportunity

1:02:03

attack as you move away from

1:02:05

Renfield. That

1:02:07

is going to be a 24 versus

1:02:10

AC. Yep.

1:02:16

For 11 points

1:02:18

of bludgeoning damage. He

1:02:21

manages to just sort of crack you in

1:02:23

the back as you run towards the door.

1:02:25

However, you are able to get away. Uh,

1:02:29

your movement is 30 feet

1:02:31

with that. You could sort of get back to,

1:02:34

you could actually get back to

1:02:36

the, uh, the, the bed chamber if, if,

1:02:39

uh, so was your wish. I'm

1:02:42

running back towards the sound of

1:02:44

Mutt's voice. Uh, okay. If you

1:02:46

do that, you're going to run across the dance floor and you're

1:02:48

going to need to make a deck save to not get burned

1:02:50

up by the ghosts. Uh,

1:02:53

okay. That's fine. Okay. Give me a, I'm

1:02:56

hoping Mutt has a plan. Okay. So I'm

1:02:58

going to roll a deck save. Uh, 19

1:03:04

plus two 21. Uh,

1:03:06

okay. Yeah. With a 21, you know, these

1:03:08

steps, you are able to sort of

1:03:10

solo dance your way, uh, through

1:03:13

the, the, the field of dancing

1:03:15

specters, uh, and make your way

1:03:17

over by Crawford, uh, next in

1:03:20

the order is, uh,

1:03:22

Philo. Philo, you are still standing at

1:03:24

the door, uh, into the kitchen. You see

1:03:26

Renfield there. Uh, he is looking

1:03:28

basically right at you now that you are sort of

1:03:31

the closest enemy to him. I

1:03:34

am going to, uh, cast enhance

1:03:36

ability on lady Godwin. Okay.

1:03:40

Uh, that, uh, gives lady Godwin

1:03:42

advantage on constitution checks. Okay.

1:03:45

It also grants two D six hit

1:03:48

points. Temporary

1:03:50

healing temporary. Yeah. Okay.

1:03:53

Cool. Uh, so two. Two D

1:03:55

six hit points. That's an eight.

1:03:58

So that gives you back. Gate points, but

1:04:01

he got one. Eight temporary points. It's the

1:04:03

dancing, but different. It's a different, yeah, I

1:04:06

think. Yeah. Cool. And gives

1:04:08

you an advantage on Constitution, saving

1:04:11

throws. And

1:04:14

then as his action,

1:04:17

his follow-up is, he

1:04:19

just turns and looks at Renfield

1:04:22

and says, I

1:04:25

forgive you, my son. And

1:04:29

Mutt yells, and now get out of the way.

1:04:32

Don't stay by the door. You

1:04:37

see him break

1:04:40

down in tears. No, he- Hey,

1:04:43

I really thought that might work. No, he

1:04:45

is- Wait, did

1:04:47

you mean, all right, you meant it

1:04:49

in a biblical sense, didn't you, dad?

1:04:52

Sorry, first- Oh, not like my son. I

1:04:54

thought we were having another classic Taz. Like

1:04:58

I'm your dad situation. The classic I'm your dad,

1:05:00

Gambit. Oh, no, no, that was strictly a spiritual.

1:05:04

People. Trying to, I was trying

1:05:06

to convict him. Give me an

1:05:10

insight check, Philo. There's

1:05:14

nothing else I could do, a negative

1:05:16

one. No, here we go. Here

1:05:21

we go. You

1:05:23

have had similar interactions

1:05:25

to this one in the past with

1:05:28

other less sort of

1:05:30

monstrous entities. I

1:05:34

think it strikes you as unusual

1:05:36

that there is absolutely no

1:05:39

recognition that anyone is even

1:05:41

talking to him at this

1:05:43

point. Renfield, I think from

1:05:45

this interaction, you sort of

1:05:47

detect that Renfield, the

1:05:49

human being, that was sort of

1:05:51

a famed supplicant to

1:05:54

Dracula. There

1:05:56

is no shred of that

1:05:58

guy left here. anymore.

1:06:00

I think

1:06:03

from what you gleaned from Spatchey

1:06:06

where he was talking about Renfield being a

1:06:08

sort of test subject for some

1:06:10

of the dabblings

1:06:12

with the dark immortal science

1:06:14

and magical arts, Renfield

1:06:17

has become something truly

1:06:21

capital M dictionary definition

1:06:23

monstrous. Okay. And

1:06:25

you still have a move action, Father? That is

1:06:28

true. Yeah, I'm going to

1:06:30

run towards the sound of Mutt's voice. Okay,

1:06:33

I will need a dex save from you also

1:06:35

to not get burnt up by these spectres. I

1:06:38

will say since you know their true nature now,

1:06:40

you are no longer frightened by these things. 19,

1:06:47

excellent. Your tiny agile

1:06:49

puppet frame is able to bob and

1:06:51

weave between these spectres. Excuse

1:06:54

me, coming through. You make your way

1:06:56

to the back wall next to Mutt

1:06:58

and Godwin. Next

1:07:02

in the order is Mutt. Renfield

1:07:08

is still in the other room. He moves after you. Correct.

1:07:12

Okay, so I

1:07:16

need y'all right as soon as you can to

1:07:19

we're going to draw them in, right? And then you

1:07:21

guys run for the door. You're going to get out,

1:07:23

right? Yeah.

1:07:26

Okay. You

1:07:28

can do that. Absolutely.

1:07:31

Okay, great. Yes. So

1:07:33

when he comes in, just start a taunton. You

1:07:35

know what I mean? A

1:07:38

taunton. Just taunt him. I've hit

1:07:40

him with an accident of times. I

1:07:42

think he feels thoroughly taunted by me.

1:07:45

Perfect, perfect, perfect man. And I'm going to ready an

1:07:47

action. I taunted his asshole. Okay. I

1:07:49

need to be more tautish, I think. Is

1:07:52

the trigger for this action Renfield coming into the

1:07:54

room? Renfield's hitting about the

1:07:56

center of the room. Okay, cool. More

1:07:59

like being all the way. It's not just coming in, right?

1:08:01

I got you, I got you. Next

1:08:04

in the order is Renfield, who

1:08:07

sure enough smashes the door out

1:08:09

of the way, swings

1:08:12

open on his hinges and bashes against

1:08:14

the back wall as

1:08:16

he marches into the room. He

1:08:19

is going to walk

1:08:22

directly through these specters towards you and

1:08:24

he is going to just sort of

1:08:27

voluntarily take some damage here. What

1:08:32

told you? He takes 21 points

1:08:34

of radiant damage as

1:08:38

he is singed by

1:08:41

these specters marching towards you. With

1:08:43

that, he reaches the center of the room on

1:08:45

his approach to the three of them. Just so

1:08:47

I know, Ditto, do we see those kind of

1:08:50

re-healing the singed ones? Give

1:08:54

me a perception or investigation

1:08:56

check. That's

1:09:01

a 23. Yes,

1:09:03

that damage also, as

1:09:05

quickly as it kind of appears and

1:09:08

spreads across his skin, it immediately starts

1:09:10

to retract. I

1:09:12

think you have probably hunted some monsters in the

1:09:15

past that have had some

1:09:17

kind of supernatural healing factor, but

1:09:20

nothing is nothing like this. Well,

1:09:22

here goes nothing. And

1:09:24

I turn the dial to the

1:09:27

full blast heating up the room light

1:09:30

filling the room and I pull

1:09:33

off the knob. Oh

1:09:35

boy. Okay.

1:09:44

And then I'm ready to run and we should

1:09:46

run. I

1:09:50

need all three of you to make a constitution saving

1:09:52

throw. 12

1:10:01

I have a I got

1:10:03

13, but what did dad dad get advantage?

1:10:08

Well dad that was a worst role so you didn't help me

1:10:10

at all yeah, okay, um

1:10:14

You turn the dial to this full brightness

1:10:16

setting and rip off the knob as you

1:10:19

do so The

1:10:21

the light in this room Grows

1:10:23

so bright that it is it is

1:10:26

difficult to keep your eyes open Philo

1:10:29

I don't know if this would affect you quite as

1:10:31

much because you don't have meat eyes You

1:10:33

don't have jelly eyes. You've got little

1:10:36

puppet eyes However, all

1:10:38

of you are going to take

1:10:43

11 points of radiant damage As

1:10:45

this light burns you all

1:10:48

you are however able to stay on

1:10:50

your feet And if you did

1:10:52

want to try to make a run for it

1:10:55

You you could you are able to do so

1:10:59

The same cannot be said

1:11:01

for Renfield Renfield immediately is

1:11:03

blasted He is immediately underneath

1:11:05

this chandelier and the light

1:11:07

that is blasting out of

1:11:09

it is pushing him down

1:11:11

oppressively you hear

1:11:13

sizzling and Shrieking

1:11:16

coming from him as

1:11:18

he appears to be pinned to the floor You

1:11:22

you see him begin to catch

1:11:24

flame and then the flame

1:11:26

disappears and then catch flame Again,

1:11:29

he is burning and healing

1:11:33

Almost in step with one another

1:11:37

But you appear to have at the very

1:11:39

least stunned him as he is just sort

1:11:41

of Recursively taking this

1:11:43

damage over and over again How

1:11:47

big is the how big is the chandelier? Is

1:11:51

huge. I mean it's about Maybe

1:11:54

eight feet in

1:11:56

diameter with just hundreds and hundreds

1:11:58

of crystals and bulbs sort of

1:12:00

arranged all around it. And how's

1:12:03

it attached to the ceiling? Chain.

1:12:09

Could Phylo do an Arcana check to

1:12:11

see if it's magically powered or technologically

1:12:13

powered? I

1:12:17

will say because of your sort of artifice or

1:12:19

ability, this is like second nature

1:12:21

to you. I'm not gonna make you roll for this. At

1:12:25

very, very high levels of work in

1:12:28

both of those fields, the

1:12:30

distinction between them becomes almost

1:12:32

irrelevant. This thing

1:12:35

is a machine, it is

1:12:37

an invention. It

1:12:39

does have a power source of some sort.

1:12:43

Whether it is arcane or like

1:12:45

scientific in nature, like it's both.

1:12:48

That is sort of the nature of extremely

1:12:51

powerful devices

1:12:54

in this world. But

1:12:56

I would assume that, I see you

1:12:58

looking at that chain. If you detach

1:13:00

that, if you cut the chain and

1:13:02

it falls, then the power that

1:13:04

is pinning him to the floor may

1:13:06

cease working. Yeah, but I'm also

1:13:08

about to drop an eight foot

1:13:11

wide thing of gems on

1:13:13

him, right? Yes,

1:13:16

but we know he's tough. Okay, let's

1:13:18

run. We've got him pinned,

1:13:20

right? Yeah,

1:13:23

let's run. Let's go, let's run, get out. Let's

1:13:26

run for the door. You

1:13:29

all make your

1:13:32

way back to the kitchen or the bed chamber? The

1:13:35

bed chamber, we gotta get in the music room. Okay.

1:13:39

You guys run into the bed

1:13:41

chamber. You see Count Dracula was

1:13:43

like kind of peeking in

1:13:46

the door to see what was going on as you throw the door

1:13:48

open and the light shoots into the room,

1:13:50

it grazes him and he jumps backwards.

1:13:53

Oh fuck, why did you do that?

1:13:55

I told you to just go in the music room. Now

1:13:58

we're doing that now. And solve the puzzle. Yeah,

1:14:00

you're gonna solve the puzzle now, but now you've

1:14:03

also got a big armored monster

1:14:05

chasing you. How is this better? We

1:14:08

did anyways, man. We have big armored guy coming

1:14:10

anyway It

1:14:12

was all a massive waste of time. Okay, and we're

1:14:14

trying to not get bummed out about that Okay,

1:14:17

you're just gonna have less time for the

1:14:19

puzzle. I know we all know we know

1:14:21

it's gonna be wasted Everyone's

1:14:24

time. It's gonna be a kick-ass puzzle, but

1:14:26

now you're gonna be so rushed. You might

1:14:28

not appreciate sort of the final We'll

1:14:31

take them Well, we'll

1:14:33

take a breather right here and we'll circle

1:14:35

back. Okay that way we can really enjoy

1:14:37

it But you

1:14:39

should go into the puzzle. Yeah, I'm

1:14:41

trying to this whole time must been

1:14:43

walking towards the okay. Okay. Okay. Okay

1:14:45

you all step

1:14:48

foot into What

1:14:50

has been referred to as the music room all

1:14:54

around you as you enter

1:14:56

this room are shelves

1:15:00

These low shelves just stuffed

1:15:03

with sheets of paper There's

1:15:05

there's paper sort of scattered all around the

1:15:07

floor of this room and

1:15:11

as you approach now you can kind of clearly

1:15:13

see what you couldn't make out through the crack

1:15:15

in the door earlier that it's It's just sheet

1:15:17

music just laying around Furiously and

1:15:19

sloppily sort of just tossed about And

1:15:23

and nearly all of this sheet music is

1:15:26

incomplete just abandoned After

1:15:28

a few bars in the center of the room.

1:15:30

There are a few chaise lungs surrounding

1:15:33

a small empty table

1:15:36

and Then you also

1:15:38

see this upright piano that is Sitting

1:15:41

in front of this this fireplace that

1:15:43

you clocked earlier In

1:15:46

which a fire is is roaring healthily

1:15:50

this this piano is Yeah,

1:15:54

that's that's what I will I will give you

1:15:56

just from coming into this room you hear shrieking and

1:15:58

stomping coming from the

1:16:02

ballroom just a couple of rooms away. What

1:16:04

do you do? Is

1:16:09

it all different sheet music? I

1:16:13

look for titles. For titles, there

1:16:15

are no titles on any of the sheet music.

1:16:17

If you all want to make a perception

1:16:20

check to see if you see anything else in here or

1:16:23

if you want to investigate one specific thing, go

1:16:25

ahead and do that. I got 21 perception. Just

1:16:30

looking around the room. Hold on, plus a D4. Okay.

1:16:34

Plus a one, 22. Okay, the DC

1:16:36

was 22 on this roll. Fuck

1:16:38

yeah. You noticed that in

1:16:41

a lot of the rooms you've been in, there have been

1:16:43

sort of, have been in

1:16:46

a state of different levels of kind

1:16:48

of decay and disuse. That

1:16:50

is not true of some

1:16:53

of this room. You see that

1:16:55

the piano in particular seems to

1:16:57

be in perfect working order. The

1:17:00

room may be a mess. There's some, it doesn't look

1:17:02

like the chaise longs have gotten a lot of action

1:17:04

lately, but the piano

1:17:07

has, the cover is open for the

1:17:09

piano. The keys are clean

1:17:11

enough. There is some, there's

1:17:14

like sort of a stack of sheet music on

1:17:16

a little stand sort of

1:17:19

sitting in front of the piano.

1:17:23

That is what you get with a

1:17:26

high enough perception check, yeah, I

1:17:28

think that's what you get. Anybody

1:17:31

else want to look around or investigate something? Yes.

1:17:37

Could I specifically

1:17:39

investigate the music that

1:17:43

is on the piano? Yes,

1:17:46

absolutely. Give me an investigation check, please. How

1:17:49

about 22 for that? That is

1:17:51

very good. Do

1:17:55

you have proficiency with any instruments, Philo? I

1:17:57

figure there's an outside chance that that might

1:17:59

be true. because I know artificers get some

1:18:01

stuff. Let's

1:18:04

say yes. No, let's say let's look at

1:18:06

your character sheet and find out. I'm looking

1:18:08

at my character sheet. On the side, dad,

1:18:11

it says proficiency in language.

1:18:13

Let's see. Armor, weapons, tools,

1:18:15

tools. Alchemist, carpenters tools, jewelers

1:18:17

tools, thieves tools, tinkerers tools,

1:18:19

wood carvers tools. I have

1:18:21

proficiency in loot. And

1:18:24

loot. Okay, I think with

1:18:26

that, your perception check earlier, you notice

1:18:28

that there's some similarities between

1:18:32

the different pieces of sheet music scattered all

1:18:34

around. With your investigation check, Philo, I don't

1:18:36

know that you glean any sort

1:18:40

of musical learnings. However,

1:18:42

you do begin rifling through this

1:18:45

stack of sheet music on the

1:18:47

piano. And you

1:18:50

just start tearing

1:18:52

through the pages, seeing if you

1:18:54

see anything strange. And you do. At the

1:18:56

back of this stack of sheet music, there

1:18:59

is a crumpled up piece

1:19:02

of paper, unlike the others in this

1:19:04

stack. It has clearly been

1:19:06

torn from a notebook of some kind. And

1:19:12

on it, scrawled in handwritten

1:19:15

ink, you begin reading it

1:19:17

over, it says,

1:19:21

one bunch bananas, apple

1:19:23

cider vinegar, spaghetti sauce,

1:19:25

kidney beans for chili night, tostito scoops

1:19:28

for chili night, garlic, just kidding, tums

1:19:30

for chili night, peanut butter

1:19:32

smooth, cabbage, cabbage, cabbage,

1:19:37

cabbage, cabbage?

1:19:40

Cabbage? ["The

1:19:42

Star-Spangled Banner"] ["The

1:19:57

Star-Spangled Banner"] Maximum

1:21:01

Fun, a worker-owned

1:21:04

network of artist-owned shows

1:21:06

supported directly by you.

Unlock more with Podchaser Pro

  • Audience Insights
  • Contact Information
  • Demographics
  • Charts
  • Sponsor History
  • and More!
Pro Features