0:00

Hello, Amelia listeners, just one more

0:02

week to go until we're back.

0:04

That's right, we're releasing The Prologue

0:06

to Season 5 Part 3 on

0:08

Friday the 14th of June. But

0:12

in the meantime, we would like to

0:14

introduce you to another show, a show

0:17

that Aisnein discovered quite a while ago

0:19

and sent me lots of excited text

0:21

messages about until I finally caved and

0:23

listened to it too. I also loved

0:25

it and so now I'm telling you

0:27

about it and hope that you follow

0:29

suit. The show is called

0:32

Desert Skies and it's a quirky,

0:34

comedic and heartfelt sci-fi podcast about

0:37

the life between this world and

0:39

the next. The story takes

0:41

place along the road of a

0:43

lonely petrol station in the afterlife

0:46

and the staff there help new

0:48

arrivals get ready to embark on

0:50

their journey through the celestial spheres.

0:53

You'll meet Tendi, the attendant, Mac

0:56

the mechanic and a sentinel cash

0:58

register. Much like Amelia, it begins

1:00

softly but what starts as a

1:03

slice of life story following new

1:05

arrivals quickly grows into an epic

1:07

tale where the stakes are life

1:10

or in this case afterlife and

1:12

death. If you

1:14

like Midnight Burger, Futurama, Adventure Time

1:17

or Rick and Morty, we think

1:19

you'll enjoy this show too. For

1:21

me, it hits that perfect sweet

1:24

spot, a mix of humour, humanity

1:26

and surreal whimsy. The

1:28

full first season of Desert Skies is available

1:31

to binge and the second one is releasing

1:33

now, making this the perfect time to listen

1:35

to the show. You can find and listen

1:37

to Desert Skies anywhere you listen to podcasts

1:39

or by clicking the link in the episode

1:41

notes below and we're playing you their first

1:44

episode right now. Our thanks

1:46

to Desert Skies for their support. Oh

1:49

and instead of Coco, you

1:51

might want a burrito for this one. Happy

1:54

listening. For

1:57

the best listening experience headphones

1:59

are recommended. commended. Hello

2:29

there! If

2:52

you don't mind waiting just a moment

2:54

while we get ready, we're

2:58

actually trying something new. I...

3:01

we're formalizing our process.

3:04

So this is an exciting time to be

3:07

here. I've actually written something

3:09

up, so I think it's... I'm pretty proud

3:11

of it. It's cool. Where

3:13

am I? Please hold all

3:15

of your questions until the presentation

3:18

is complete. Everything will be

3:20

answered in time. Okay,

3:23

I think I'm ready. You

3:25

may approach the counter. Welcome

3:35

to Desert Skies, Traveler. Your

3:38

journey through the physical plane has come

3:41

to an end. But

3:44

we are so glad you're

3:46

here. And I

3:48

know what you're thinking. Where is

3:51

here exactly? I'll

3:54

do my best to explain. exist

4:00

on the lowest sphere of

4:02

existence between life and

4:05

death or as

4:07

we like to say around here

4:09

between life and the next life

4:12

yeah you have no more

4:15

reason to be afraid no

4:18

more reason to fret nor worry

4:21

whatever your needs we are

4:23

here to help my

4:26

colleague here is the mechanic or

4:28

Mac for short yo it

4:32

is his job to service your vehicle

4:34

in preparation for the journey

4:37

across the celestial spheres I

4:41

am the attendant or tendie for sure

4:43

I told you not to call me

4:45

that in front of the travelers will

4:47

I think it puts them at ease

4:49

I'm trying to create an error of

4:52

mystique yeah well that's stupid yeah well

4:54

nobody asked you um what what's going

4:57

on like like I

4:59

said I am the attendant it

5:01

is my job to ensure you

5:03

have adequate provisions and are well

5:06

instructed in navigating the journey through

5:08

the celestial spheres now

5:13

let me tell you about a selection of

5:15

products available and

5:17

any associated promotions one

5:20

second here we

5:29

have all of your road trip favorites

5:32

chips sodas sunflower seeds

5:35

pickled pigs feet that induce devastating

5:38

degrees of sadness it's

5:40

a trip that's

5:43

that's max favorite actually it's

5:45

just nice to feel something before

5:47

hitting the road how about one last

5:50

trip south of the border we

5:52

have an impressive selection of over 34 varieties of

5:56

microwavable burritos everything

5:58

from breakfast brunch, lunch,

6:01

dinner, dessert, and various

6:04

other flavors. Right

6:07

now, if you grab three, you'll

6:10

receive a portable microwave to take with

6:12

you on your journey. It

6:15

has a little cigarette lighter

6:17

adapter. Hell of a deal if you

6:19

ask me. Are

6:21

you dealing with the regret

6:24

of never having accomplished

6:26

anything significant in your life?

6:29

Punish yourself appropriately with some Flamin'

6:31

Hot Cheetos. Enough, enough, turn off

6:33

the music. What's wrong? Was

6:37

I reading too fast? That's

6:39

fine, I can start over. Where's

6:42

the rewind? No, no, don't do it

6:44

again. Look,

6:47

I need some answers. Five

6:50

minutes ago, I'm sitting at home eating a

6:52

plate of toast to waffles. Next thing I

6:54

know, I'm driving down a deserted highway

6:56

then pulling into a gas station in

6:58

the middle of God knows where and

7:00

you start reading off some brain melting

7:03

specials of the day with Gimli here.

7:05

I just wanna know what's really going on. Give

7:08

it to me straight. Am I

7:11

high right now? Possibly, but that's

7:13

irrelevant. You're here because

7:15

you're dead. This

7:18

is your last stop on your way to

7:20

the great beyond. It's

7:22

our job to make sure you're prepared for

7:24

the ride. Uh-huh, and what if

7:27

I don't believe you? What

7:29

if this is all just some kind of sick dream,

7:31

huh? Some elaborate prank. Look,

7:34

I understand this experience can

7:36

be jarring, especially

7:40

if your death was sudden

7:43

or unexpected. I

7:45

can't remember, but I probably went through the

7:48

same emotions you're experiencing right now. For the

7:50

sake of argument, let's say you're telling

7:52

me the truth. What's to

7:54

keep me from driving back the direction I

7:56

came from, huh? High-tailing it back

7:59

to my living room. no

8:01

pun intended there's

8:03

nothing keeping you from that I mean

8:06

we we can't stop you but I

8:09

don't recommend it yeah and why is that microwavable

8:12

burritos what what

8:15

is that supposed to mean I'll show you

8:17

come on follow me our

8:23

microwavable burrito selection currently

8:25

there are 34 varieties

8:28

if you drive back the way you came there's

8:30

gonna be 35 here

8:33

take a look at this package what

8:35

do you see says gutbuster

8:37

brand microwavable burritos and

8:40

there's a face lady with red

8:42

hair Alice's chicken

8:45

all a king style read

8:47

the back okay

8:52

this delicious microwavable snack

8:54

is dedicated to Alice McDougall

8:57

who attempted to return to the physical

8:59

realm and retrieve her beloved cat Wallace

9:03

we honor her brave effort what

9:06

the hell is this just keep

9:08

reading in accordance with

9:10

the governing rules of the Astral Plane

9:12

the full essence of this individual's existence

9:15

desires purpose and romantic

9:17

history has been meticulously crafted

9:20

into this artisan style burrito tastes

9:23

the flavor of life so

9:27

there's ground-up lady in here no god

9:31

no that's that's disgusting

9:35

this isn't her physically it's the

9:37

flavor and texture of her existence

9:41

which apparently tastes like diced chicken

9:43

in a cream sauce it's it's

9:45

actually pretty good congratulations

9:48

friend I've heard some crazy

9:50

shit in my life but I've never heard anything

9:52

like that but

9:56

you know I

9:58

bet I'd be chicken Some kind

10:01

of chicken burrito. Why

10:03

do you say that? Sawed on one

10:05

of those placemats at a Chinese restaurant. I was born

10:07

in the year of the chicken. I

10:10

think you mean rooster. Really? I

10:13

always thought it was chicken. I

10:16

think I'd rather be a chicken than a cock. You

10:18

know? Oh,

10:21

God. I need a cigarette. You

10:23

got those? Huh? A brand

10:25

that doesn't taste like devastating sadness or

10:28

contain the essence of someone's great-grandma? You're

10:30

have one of mine. Thank

10:33

God. Something I can actually use.

10:37

I know these things are awful for you. I'm

10:39

not sure you gotta worry about that anymore. Come

10:43

on, buddy. Let's take a look at that car of

10:45

yours. That's the other thing. I don't even

10:47

own a car. Then boom! I'm

10:49

suddenly cruising down the highway in a

10:51

Buick Skylark. That's one hell of a

10:53

car. Sure, I'm not complaining. But

10:56

that's not my automobile. And this

10:58

isn't my beard's natural color. Yet

11:00

here we are. Come on. Let's

11:03

get you road ready. Hey, Nintendo.

11:06

Or whatever your name is. You

11:09

really telling me I'm dead? It's attendant.

11:12

And... yeah. You

11:14

are. Sorry, friend. Well,

11:17

ain't that just a kick in the pants? One

11:20

more question. This

11:22

place. At the end of the road.

11:26

What's it like? Is

11:28

it nice? Yeah. It's

11:31

real nice. Huh.

11:33

That's good to know, I guess. Look,

11:37

come back and see me before taking off. Okay?

11:40

Whatever you want, Lord of the Underworld. Hey,

11:49

Cast Register. Hello,

11:52

attendant. How can I be of service?

11:55

I always tell people that what lies at the end

11:57

of the road is a... Nice

12:00

place. You excel at putting

12:02

our travelers at ease, attendant. Um,

12:05

yeah, sure, but what

12:08

if it's a lie? I don't know

12:10

if it's nice or not. For

12:12

all I know, it could be a

12:14

plane of non-existence. I

12:16

would assume that even a state

12:19

of non-existence is better than having

12:21

your essence converted into a microwavable

12:23

burrito. Yeah, maybe, I don't

12:25

know. A lot of people

12:28

like burritos. Attendant, as you

12:30

know, I'm incapable

12:32

of lying. So you've told

12:35

me. But you're not. I

12:38

can't say for certain, but I believe

12:40

that if given the ability to provide

12:42

comfort to frightened travelers, able

12:44

to travel but one direction, I

12:47

would allow myself to express confidence

12:49

that they are headed towards a

12:51

nice place, regardless of

12:53

my uncertainty. You really think that's

12:55

okay? Attendant. I

12:58

am just a computational assistant and service

13:00

help register. But logic leads me to

13:02

believe that the existence of desert skies,

13:05

an astral plane, fuel and service center,

13:07

dedicated to the comfort and safety of

13:09

travelers embarking on their final journey. Well,

13:12

it seems to me that level of

13:14

intentional care would denote a certain amount

13:16

of goodwill on the part of our

13:19

superiors. Our superiors?

13:21

I don't even know who they are. Do you,

13:24

Cash? I'm sorry, Attendant, but as

13:26

I've told you 473 times,

13:29

I'm unable to speak to that subject.

13:31

Unable or not allowed? Is

13:34

there anything else I can assist you with,

13:36

Attendant? Um, play some music? You

13:38

got it. Mm-hmm. Let's

13:42

do... contemplative. Thanks

13:55

for watching. APIs

14:30

Well, he's all set. Where is

14:32

he at? Dude's just sitting in his car with

14:34

his head resting on the steering wheel. I'd

14:37

ask what gives, but it ain't like

14:39

I never seen it before. I told him to come

14:41

back in here. What's his story anyway? Jeez,

14:44

I haven't even ran the report. Cash

14:47

register. How can

14:49

I help you attend it? Request a traveler

14:51

bio for... Oh

14:54

god, I didn't even ask his name. I got

14:56

that from him at least. Name's

14:59

Lawrence Cobb. Requesting

15:01

traveler biography for Lawrence Cobb.

15:07

Alright, let's take a look here. Lawrence Cobb.

15:11

Age 42. Looks

15:14

like it was the toaster waffles that didn't

15:16

mean. Choked to death

15:18

watching television. When I die, that's

15:21

how I wanna go. Yeah, well, you

15:24

are dead, so there's

15:26

that and what?

15:28

You wanna die choking

15:31

on frozen breakfast foods watching

15:33

TV? You're judgy, you know

15:36

that. Anyway,

15:38

born and raised in New York.

15:41

Managed the electronics counter at a

15:43

department store. Fascinating stuff,

15:45

but you know what I want. Yeah,

15:48

I know. There you go, you sick

15:51

little man. Embarrassing childhood

15:53

memories, god, I love these.

15:56

Look, in fourth grade, choked on an ice cube

15:58

at lunch and threw a... up all over

16:00

the table. How

16:03

do you even do that? Hmm.

16:08

Says his wife died. Her

16:10

name sounds so familiar. Deborah

16:13

Cobb. Deborah

16:16

Cobb. Deborah

16:19

Cobb. Cash,

16:22

do you have a record of a Deborah Cobb who was

16:24

married to a Lawrence Cobb? Indeed.

16:27

Deborah Cobb. Age

16:29

36. Sudden

16:31

death. Brain aneurysm. Jesus,

16:34

that's so young. We have so many

16:36

people come through here, Tendi. What

16:39

makes you think you'd remember some random woman? We

16:43

must have had 20,000 Deborahs at Desert

16:45

Skies in my time and at least a handful

16:47

of Deborah Cobs. I

16:49

don't know. Some people just

16:51

stick with you, Mac. Yeah, I

16:53

guess that's true. There was that one

16:56

guy who crapped his pants dancing to you. You're the

16:58

one that I want during a school play. I

17:01

still got the report pinned up in my shack. You

17:04

can't make this stuff up. No, you

17:06

can't. I

17:08

think I'm gonna check on our traveler. Mr.

17:21

Cobb? Go away, Nintendo.

17:26

I just want to talk real quick. Give

17:29

me 30 seconds. Please,

17:32

Mr. Cobb. Stop calling me

17:37

Mr. Cobb. My name is Lawrence. Hey,

17:40

Lawrence. Buddy, you've been out here

17:42

a while and we're getting kind

17:44

of worried about you. Worried

17:48

about me? What's there to worry about?

17:50

I'm already dead. Dead

17:53

is such a

17:55

weighty word. You

17:57

left a physical plane. So what? It's

18:00

just one plane of existence. This

18:03

is another. And

18:05

down that road is another. And

18:09

that's your destination. That's

18:11

the next life. Yeah well if it's so great

18:13

why haven't you driven down that road huh? If

18:16

it's so wonderful what are you doing out

18:18

here in the plane of god knows what

18:20

hawking burritos with people in them? I

18:23

don't know. What do you mean you don't know?

18:26

You're dead too right? You must

18:28

have pulled in here just like me. But

18:31

you stayed. You're right I mean

18:33

I assume that's

18:35

what happened but I

18:38

don't remember a time when I wasn't working here. When

18:41

I wasn't the attendant. I

18:44

don't remember my life on the physical plane

18:47

or my real name. I

18:50

have no idea who I am or

18:53

even how I died. Jesus that's

18:55

messed up guy. So

18:59

what's to keep you from going now? Get

19:01

in the car. Come on we'll go together. I

19:04

know I'd feel better if someone was with me you know. I'm

19:07

sorry Lawrence I can't. Why

19:09

not? Because I like what I do.

19:13

It may not seem like much to you but

19:16

to me it's everything.

19:20

It's all I've ever known. Do

19:22

you know how many Lawrence Cobbs I've had come through

19:25

here? People like you who

19:27

get behind that wheel and can't seem to turn the

19:29

key? And

19:32

99.9% of the time I

19:35

get them down that road. I

19:37

save them from the burrito plane of

19:39

existence. I

19:41

help them move on. It might

19:43

not be so bad being a burrito you know. A

19:47

lot of people like burritos. This

19:49

is true. You

19:52

know I had a wife who died three

19:54

years ago. I

19:57

couldn't do anything without her.