0:00

Summer's in the air and we're all looking forward to getting together.

0:03

I know I'm thinking about my appearance and with my reemergence into the world, I want to feel new and fabulous.

0:08

Well, I discovered a fragrance that does just that, and I can't get enough of it.

0:14

It's called oh, Papa, Ghana by LSU.

0:16

Think of a delightful, exhilarating sparkling citrus with the lingering elegance and a divine splash of sunny orange blossom.

0:26

It's ever fastened.

0:27

It's refreshing, empowering, and I love it.

0:32

And if it can make you smell good, mama, it's got to be So strong stuff.

0:36

I live here. It's founder and creator.

0:39

Frank Saltz fiddle is one of the most celebrated perfume makers in the world of fashion.

0:43

His best known fragrance creations include Acqua di Gio per owned by Giorgio.

0:47

Armani. I love that one.

0:48

Do you really? Yeah, it's a good one.

0:50

And Mary, the smash had flower bond by Victor and Wolf, Victor and Wolf, Victor and Ralph is firebomb.

0:55

Gorgeous love, gorgeous spice farm as well developed with some of the greatest perfumers in the industry.

1:00

Oh, Papa. Ghana is just one of nine outstanding gender free fragrances.

1:04

I actually sprayed it on Andrew before I got here.

1:06

And he's gender free. Anyway, he is gender.

1:09

He's a super gender. Yes, he loved it.

1:11

Yeah. So for our audience, LSU is offering 20% off with the code.

1:16

Beautiful. Go to Ellis ear.com today and capture your mood.

1:19

That's E L I S I R e.com with the code.

1:23

Beautiful. E L I S I R e.com with the code.

1:27

Beautiful.

1:27

Well,

1:27

we,

1:27

the

1:27

less

1:27

interesting

1:27

American

1:27

version

1:27

of

1:27

Brenda

1:27

call

1:27

me

1:44

probably. Yeah.

1:46

Yeah. You brought something from your studio that I love non flushable turds.

1:49

Oh, starboard.

1:50

So good. Yeah. One of my favorite things about going to your studio is I know that the snacks are going to be one of the favorite things.

1:56

The only thing I like about going to your suit, you notice whenever I show up, it's always, when I've been on a run and I happen to be in front of her house and I eat warehouse down with Starbucks.

2:07

I that's one thing about it. I mean, hospitality wise, I'm not very good at anything, but I always do keep a nice gold bowl filled with pink and red and a fuchsia starboard.

2:16

It is a known fact that a lady do have a bowl of Starburst.

2:20

That is right.

2:21

I got my bangs trims during the, during between episodes.

2:25

I don't know. What do you think they'll go out.

2:28

Yeah, they'll grab it. I don't know if I should probably get guy lights.

2:31

Maybe. Did people ever call men's highlights, guy loads.

2:34

They still do what?

2:37

Yeah. Guy liner.

2:40

Yeah. Doesn't it make you want to just take the news right now?

2:42

Tired. Imagine how tired we are.

2:44

Well, you don't have to change it to God because both any gender has eyes.

2:51

In fact, most species do in fact have eyes.

2:56

Many if most species, however, let's do enough about science.

3:02

What we can talk about today.

3:04

Hi. Hi Georgia. Let's talk about what happened at the mall the other day.

3:08

Okay. So let me, oh, by the way, I started the episode where I talked about the Iowasca journey and I, you really let me tell a story.

3:16

You really let me tell the whole story.

3:19

I don't like it. I mean, I'm not saying it was like this prodigious, like prodigious, feat of selflessness.

3:24

Like you, I mean, you're just struggling through, I mean, I felt like you were engaged and it was like, no, all the comments were like, Trixie is not talking.

3:30

This is the best episode ever. So that's no, no, no, no, no, no.

3:33

Tell us what happened at the mall.

3:35

What

3:35

is

3:35

different

3:35

about

3:35

you

3:35

right

3:41

now? What is different about you? Oh, it's the headphones with the no-hassle and the glass.

3:45

Yeah. I like this. Look you do.

3:48

Yes. I just got them. I went to, I hate it.

3:50

Put it back on, back on. I love those glasses on you.

3:54

I don't know where they're from. Oliver. Peoples mama Oliver.

3:57

Peoples is yes.

4:00

Oliver. Peoples is the one. Yes it is.

4:03

Yeah. Those frames are perfect for you.

4:06

Thanks in a lovely, neutral, flattering color.

4:09

I always want to get glasses like this.

4:11

Cause I was wanting to look like the girl from ghost world Thora Birch and ghost world.

4:14

But then I look like I'm that totally guy from Rocko's modern life.

4:19

I don't know the, the, I feel like these are fabulous for your face.

4:24

Yeah. Thank you. I wish I have glasses too.

4:26

I got a bunch of new glasses because I thought I'd start wearing them again.

4:28

Cause I find that people recognize me less than glasses.

4:31

And sometimes I don't want to get recognized with the beagle posts with nose and the mustache.

4:34

Very discreet baseball cap with glasses.

4:37

And that I don't think people really clocked me.

4:39

People clocked me a lot with the mask and a hat on.

4:42

Of course the hat smell had said something in Russian.

4:46

And then I was wearing like Katia flip-flops two cigarettes.

4:49

Yeah. Two cigarettes. Yeah. Do people ever do cigarette in this and cigarette in this?

4:53

No. That two at a time.

4:56

Yeah. Do they ever, well, you can't think about it.

4:58

Oh wait. You could do this.

5:00

Oh, do an American spirit here in the club.

5:04

What do you want me to clove cigarettes?

5:07

Where thing they still are. Were you into that?

5:09

Yep. You were goth big staple of the goth community.

5:12

Cause they smell like a ham. They do not smell like ham.

5:16

They smell like clothes, America or added to him to make the hand less hammy.

5:20

Are you a farmer?

5:22

No, but I'm an eater and I've eaten my share a ham.

5:26

Timmy fair. I couldn't tell you what him tastes likes anymore.

5:29

So tastes like piggy meat.

5:31

Just like bacon, right? Exactly.

5:33

Like it. But that's it's the same animal.

5:35

Ham is gross though.

5:37

Like if I was ever going to cheat, which you'd have cheated on, I bet here it isn't before, but you're not cheating.

5:42

I wouldn't start with ham slight deviations.

5:44

Why w why?

5:46

What is this obsession with calling? Like, why can't we say what it is?

5:49

Yeah. We're going to roast them pig roast up that piggy, you know, cow.

5:52

I think people don't like being confronted with the reality of what they're eating or that is an, that is a preposterous assumption is the difference between you want to rim me, tongue my shitter.

6:03

You

6:03

know

6:03

what

6:03

I

6:06

mean? It's, it's a different vibe. I read a porn story where that word shitter was used repeatedly to ref to refer to the anus in an erotic way.

6:15

And I said, shitter, oh my shitter.

6:18

He plunged his death rod deep inside his, his tight, hairy shitter.

6:24

My shitter, Russ shitter.

6:26

I flick my shitter, Russ, my shit slit, my shit slit.

6:30

And my, my, your, your, your Dick.

6:34

No, you're on my brown were clues.

6:35

Well,

6:35

now

6:35

that's

6:35

close

6:35

to

6:35

home

6:35

because

6:35

the,

6:35

the,

6:35

what

6:35

is

6:43

it? The, your clitty your, do you want me to play with your clitty people saying this is to refer to, it would be people that just the woman say, no, this is, it was, it was said to me in reference to my penis while I was in drag in, the man was asking, and this is interesting because he was asking, what is the chronic, what is the, your preferred terminology for the situation happening right now?

7:08

Because, and I was actually impressed by that because he was like, he didn't want to say, I want to, like, you want me to touch your Dick?

7:13

Cause if, if he didn't know, maybe I don't identify as a man.

7:17

Therefore I don't think of it as a Dick or whatever.

7:19

You know what I mean? So on and so forth, it was a fascinating thing.

7:22

Although the terminology he offered was not to my liking respectful.

7:26

It

7:26

was

7:26

like,

7:26

what

7:26

are

7:26

the,

7:26

what

7:26

are

7:26

the

7:26

pronouns

7:26

of

7:26

your

7:30

genitals? Respectful trans amorous lover.

7:32

He was very respectful.

7:34

I loved that. And he was D T F mama was everything else that he wanted?

7:39

Yes. And his asshole was like the holy grail.

7:41

Did you let him have it? I let him have it all.

7:44

I mean, I would let him have it all. Let him take me to the bank and just foreclose my home.

7:47

Like it was, I think about him actually all the time, all the time, he would sit on my face and suck on my clitty for hours.

7:57

You love that? I love it.

7:59

There was this guy I used to go out with, who lived next to the California pizza kitchen on Hollywood Boulevard.

8:04

And he just, he just wanted me to sit on his face for hours.

8:10

He didn't even care if he came.

8:12

That was me.

8:14

Yeah. He was just ready to, he was just, he was, it's not about the destination.

8:16

It's all about that journey. Country. Buffet.

8:19

Yeah. In fact one, although it was interesting.

8:21

No old country bef no country buffet for old men.

8:24

What is it?

8:26

Old country buffet for no men?

8:29

No. What is it? Something, something for old country, for old men, no country buffet for old men, no country for no country buffet for bald men question.

8:41

Is there anybody from your past sexual, dead or alive that if you could have that hookup magically happen again?

8:47

Yes, absolutely.

8:49

Yes. His name is Dylan and he was in the army.

8:53

And I probably talked about him before, but this, this boy at the time he was in his early twenties and I was probably, I was 30.

9:00

It was when my sexual Renaissance or reemergence and he would come over and we would have sex all night long, no drugs, totally sober.

9:07

He would come five times.

9:09

He was in the army and you were leggy.

9:12

Go

9:17

on. He was, he was like a specimen of, he was a, a perfect male specimen, naturally hairless groomed, very large Dick, incredible ass, clean hygiene on point tight fade.

9:31

Beautiful. Like he was like, not well-educated, but very intelligent.

9:36

He was just the dream man.

9:38

The dream man, super chill, evolved, not pretentious.

9:42

And he could get that.

9:44

I would, we would fuck.

9:46

He would come. And then we would chill and smoke.

9:49

He smoked, which I loved.

9:50

And then she smoke in the bed.

9:52

No, no, no. We'd go to the couch or go to the bar.

9:54

I had a low bar in the house and then smoke and then I would just rubbish shoulders.

9:57

And then the Dick would go up again and I'd be like, it's it's part three.

10:01

This is the godfather three.

10:03

Let's do it straight identify.

10:05

He was straight identified. Yeah. He have dated women heat.

10:08

So, okay. He did not do speak, but he cleansed very well because I ate his ass, like a Turkey dinner, Thanksgiving feast, like Babette's feast.

10:17

We get a last supper, like my last meal in prison, like the only way in and out.

10:24

But he was not a bottom.

10:26

So we were kind of at an impasse because I was not yet able to receive penises in my asshole in his was quite girthy.

10:33

So, but we just did everything else.

10:35

So much kissing. I mean, this was like so romantic, so hot, so incredible all night long.

10:40

And then we would talk about things that were actually interesting.

10:42

Talk about things are actually interesting.

10:44

Can I just say that the, the, the surprise hit the sleeper hit of a good hookup is somebody you don't mind talking to afterward?

10:51

That's the sleeper hit. It's like coming again.

10:54

It's it's mind blowing.

10:57

Yeah. Like, because as you know, in as many of the listeners know, once the ejaculation has occurred, mama, the crew has gone home.

11:04

Three weeks. I wrapped into parties.

11:06

Crafty has already put that for practice gone.

11:08

Even legal's even like left the building, like it is done.

11:10

This was like, but of course I didn't come the whole night.

11:14

I wouldn't come. I sometimes I wouldn't come until after he left, which would be like four in the morning.

11:18

I was recently thinking of Joan Crawford being like the first person on set in the morning, 5:00 AM to wait, what are you talking about?

11:29

Well, you know, they, they like in Hollywood when they hear a lot of times you hear like ALA stars where they're like, oh, she's the first one on set in the morning.

11:35

He's always the first one there. He gets there.

11:38

When the light pupil gets there, really like, it's like a measure of how dedicated

11:41

Oh, will that ever be you?

11:44

No,

11:44

me

11:48

neither. No, no, no, no, no. I care about stuff.

11:49

No, I've never in there first.

11:51

No, but I'll there when it's appropriate for me to get there, I would like, I, if there's a time, I will try to be five minutes earlier than that.

11:59

Yeah. That's pretty much it. Same. Yeah.

12:01

I might not always be there on time or however that rap song goes or be there.

12:06

Yeah. You know, we might cast you like we're not there yet, but wait, why did I say that?

12:12

Why are we talking about the sex thing?

12:14

Oh, I asked you if there was a hookup.

12:16

You wish you could relive. What about you, Dr.

12:22

Demani being honest. No, let's lie.

12:24

Not

12:27

really. Oh, Just a string of shitty ones.

12:29

Well, I

12:32

don't, I don't think I've had a hookup that like blue, like, I mean, not that they been blow my mind, but like was so miles and leagues above the rest.

12:40

I guess I haven't had too many horrible ones.

12:41

Maybe that's why I was going to say, oh shit, fuck the Hookups.

12:45

I'll do it. Call your former hookups throughout the song right now.

12:49

Call them Non

12:51

memorable pieces of shit. Forgettable hookups.

12:53

I don't think so.

12:54

Did you ever, do you ever leave or have someone leave your house and you kind of sat down?

12:59

You're like, wow.

13:03

Immediately call a girlfriend and talk about it.

13:05

No, I will say I have no chill and sometimes they'll leave and I text.

13:08

No, no amazing.

13:10

No. Is that weird? It's not weird.

13:13

I mean, it's certainly honest. It's it's creepy.

13:16

I, you don't do that. You call a girlfriend and say that you call your girlfriend.

13:20

Yeah. Say we've had your Toro friends.

13:22

Do you like Robin's music?

13:23

I do me too.

13:24

Call

13:24

you

13:24

turd

13:24

friend

13:24

NFT,

13:24

non

13:24

flushable,

13:35

turds. You getting in on the ground floor with cryptocurrency.

13:36

Let's change the subject.

13:38

Understand it. I don't either.

13:40

The only people who are telling me about crypto have are white people with dreads are Niekro.

13:45

You know what I mean?

13:46

It's a lot of white, straight people being like, what is it with white, straight men?

13:54

And like the idea of like, it's this new currency.

13:57

You all get it. We're going to be rich. We're going to be right in golf carts on the moon tomorrow.

14:01

Yeah. Marie. Yeah. Fuck that.

14:03

I'm going to go back to it. Like I'm going to go back to saw backs and like de blooms gold to blooms.

14:09

Honestly, even a credit card is too much.

14:11

I'm ready for like whatever this subdermal, like nobody can steal my identity.

14:16

Nobody can steal my bloop, bloop, bloop.

14:19

Yeah. And nobody could control your remotely without either.

14:22

Give me how about an acrylic pinky nail.

14:24

It has a square meter in it.

14:26

Yeah. And if, if you really want to just, if you really want out of the system off the grid, you just go whack with a meat Cleaver.

14:31

So we're at the mall. Oh wait.

14:33

While we talk about we're going to get to the mall because I remember the train of thought that I got derailed.

14:40

Can we take a break? Absolutely.

14:41

We're taking a break Summers

14:49

in the air and we're all forward to getting together.

14:52

I know I'm thinking about my appearance and with my re-emergence into the world, I want to feel new and fabulous.

14:57

Well, I discovered a fragrance that does just that and I can't get enough of it.

15:03

It's called oh, Papa, Ghana by LSU.

15:05

Think of a delightful, exhilarating sparkling citrus with the lingering elegance and a divine splash of sunny orange blossom.

15:15

It's effervescent.

15:16

It's refreshing, empowering.

15:19

And I love it.

15:21

And if it can make you smell good, mama, it's got to be So strong stuff That

15:27

lives here as founder and creator of Frank Saltz fiddle is one of the most celebrated perfume makers in the world of fashion.

15:32

His best known fragrance creations include Acqua di Gio, PIR owned by Giorgio.

15:36

Armani. I love that one.

15:37

Do you really? Yeah, it's a good one.

15:39

And Mary, the smash had flower bond by Victor and Wolf, Victor and Wolf, Victor and Ralph Spire, firebomb gorgeous, gorgeous spice farm as well developed with some of the greatest perfumers in the industry.

15:50

Oh, Papa. Ghana is just one of nine outstanding gender free fragrances.

15:53

I actually sprayed it on Andrew before I got here.

15:55

And he's gender free. Anyway, he is gender.

15:58

He's a super gender. Yes, he loved it.

16:00

Yeah. So for our audience Ella's is offering 20% off with the code.

16:05

Beautiful. Go to Ellis ear.com today and capture your mood.

16:08

That's E L I S I R e.com with the code.

16:12

Beautiful. E L I S I R e.com with the code.

16:16

Beautiful today's episode is sponsored by, keeps with Chino.

16:19

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16:20

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16:25

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16:29

It's never even been something I considered.

16:31

I mean, I don't even know if I would ever, ever even be interested in a simple stress-free way to keep my hair.

16:38

Exactly. I mean, I have no way of knowing that two out of three men will experience some form of hair loss in their life.

16:42

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16:44

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16:45

I

16:45

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16:45

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16:45

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16:45

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16:45

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16:51

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16:53

Did you ever have hair?

16:55

I was born bald.

16:56

Oh, babies are born.

16:59

Absolutely. Oh, that's right. It's it's it's genetic in my family.

17:03

We're all born bald.

17:04

I

17:04

was

17:04

born

17:04

this

17:07

bald. I was born this way. Well, you know what else?

17:11

I was born at a very young age. So stupid.

17:13

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17:53

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17:56

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17:59

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18:03

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18:07

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18:10

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18:26

So let's go back to the train station.

18:28

We went to the mod for a meeting with our management and our, our agents, and we had to get an Uber.

18:34

So of course, as our agents and managers leaving their $75,000 cars without offering us a ride valet.

18:41

Yeah. Valet cars, we're we're at the entrance of the mall, calling an Uber.

18:45

I tried to call an Uber. It takes 45 minutes and it costs $300.

18:48

So Trixie calls one, it comes as it approaches.

18:51

She realizes that it's at the other end of the mall.

18:53

So we hustled through the mall.

18:55

I'm speed walking. And then we're like, she's like, oh, I really don't want to miss this Uber.

18:59

And now the Dwyer is sober galloping.

19:01

And then once we exit the mall, she begins to sprint like she is Florence, Joyner, or Jackie, a Florence Griffith, or Jackie Joyner Kersey, or a risk dump.

19:13

There you go. That's Forrest Gump.

19:15

And there is.

19:16

And I'm like, okay. I happen to have, I have sneakers on, although I was wearing very tight jeans and I'm a heavy smoker, probably 30 cigarettes a day.

19:24

And this she is gooning.

19:26

She is rubbernecking every like 25 feet hooning, just grinning.

19:31

Like, are you still there?

19:33

And I'm, I'm keeping earnestly trying to catch the Uber though.

19:35

I'm not trying to like show off. No, no, no, no, no, no.

19:38

I was very aware of that. We were both in the same boat, except my boat didn't have an engine.

19:42

Well,

19:42

the

19:42

thing

19:42

is

19:42

I

19:42

did

19:42

the

19:42

marathon

19:42

journey,

19:42

but

19:42

we've

19:42

never

19:42

run

19:42

side

19:42

by

19:42

side

19:42

in

19:42

our

19:52

lives. We've never exercised together.

19:53

Never, never. We don't do that. So I'm running because Uber.

19:57

Yeah. And I realized you're not with me.

19:59

And I'm looking over the shoulder and the distance is growing.

20:01

The distance is growing. You, the look on your face is changing and I'm smiling.

20:05

She is Brin

20:08

Bama. It was just like, it was like, I have never been in a situation too, but I'm laughing.

20:14

I can't breathe because I'm running. So I'm like torn.

20:16

I was like, I think this is funny, but I should really conserve my air because I don't have enough oxygen in my Body.

20:21

So it was, it was, honey is a long time coming because it was, it was my whole life.

20:28

I've had to sit next to this hundred and 10 pound person on camera who could do a back flip and the splits who can disappear to the clouds in narcotics for two years and come back with abs.

20:37

And for Once

20:40

I was good at some big left me in the, you guys could Have

20:45

seen the joy. And it was just, I hate that.

20:49

You know, we got cameras now and we've got cameras all the time and you've got the only time we're ever together is on camera.

20:53

And this is one of the two moments that I wish.

20:55

I really wish the other moment that we'll talk to you about.

20:59

So anyways, we ran, we write, we continue to run.

21:02

Now anybody can run.

21:03

You can run from a killer.

21:05

Sure. You run fast. But when you, when we're talking about distance, we're talking about endurance muscular in cardiovascular endurance distance, unless you run often.

21:15

I don't know if most people have a few minutes of sprinting in them.

21:18

No, I was not sprinting.

21:20

I was running. You worked probably jogging.

21:23

And I, my version of that is running.

21:25

I'm also taller than you. Tall, taller.

21:27

People are faster. You and you just ran a marathon, but I'm trying to keep up.

21:31

And what would you say that was about half a mile?

21:33

Are you kidding me?

21:35

A quarter of a mile, maybe a quarter of a mile.

21:38

Oh my God. That's funny because me and Courtney, what we did all of Runyon the other day, and then we walked to a restaurant.

21:43

I was like, that was at least six miles.

21:45

It was 0.8 miles.

21:47

I

21:47

was

21:47

like,

21:47

I

21:47

was

21:47

limping

21:47

the

21:47

next

21:52

day. Cause we did the full of Runyon, did the hard side, like the hard way, the whole thing.

21:55

And then we walked all the way down to Melrose.

21:58

Courtney, we'll get you together. Mama mama is a liar into this.

22:03

She had barely a dewy glow.

22:06

It was 85 degrees.

22:08

And we did all of Runyon and like card climbing.

22:12

She had a dewy like Misty glow to her beautiful golden complexion.

22:17

I was dropping buckets of perspiration the entire time into the lunch flopping flopping the whole time.

22:25

And we decided that the next she's writing a book, the title of her next book is going to be called when good things happen to perfect people.

22:33

The Courtney ax direct experience.

22:34

I just saw A video of her.

22:36

She was, had really Trixie Mattel, hand mirrors and she was in the back of a car and she pulled her mask off and she's touching up, she's using a grand illusion, lip gloss from back, which is a sheer frosty lip gloss.

22:46

And she's putting it on and touching up and look in the mirror.

22:48

And I'm like, and it's like the camera angles here.

22:51

She still looks like I know her Robert.

22:54

I know, but you know what though? I'm, that's why I'm grateful for vanity because together when she's next to vanity, Courtney looks cute, but vanities.

23:04

Yes. Courtney,

23:05

Courtney is at peace with that.

23:07

And so with vanity, vanity loves it, loves it, but it's true.

23:12

She'll

23:15

walk up to someone in a Courtney shirt and be like big Courtney fan.

23:18

Huh? Yeah. She took out vanity. Yeah.

23:20

If you looking at things in perspective, if you like Courtney, you're going to love vanity.

23:24

You know? I mean, it's, it's incredible because she is beautiful obviously, but then VNA, transcendent.

23:31

I just got a bunch of new vanity wigs.

23:34

Cause she's doing all the hard fronts now.

23:35

Oh, thank God. I got two shots to do a bang.

23:37

Dolly's two genies. Y'all can't take it.

23:39

And two bets that's Dolly's and Jeannie's well, okay.

23:44

We so, okay. The mall, the other moment I wished was caught on camera was at the meet and greet.

23:50

Oh, what we are talking about John on.

23:51

No, we didn't. We didn't.

23:53

What was it? Oh, you tweeted about it.

23:55

At least. Remember when we did the Milwaukee thing?

23:58

Oh no. You need to tell them exactly what happened.

24:01

We were going to talk about gigs in general, the gigs everybody's coming, you know, the gigs are coming, we're getting back to live entertaining.

24:08

And my first live gig back was at Trixie's and It,

24:12

it

24:12

was,

24:12

this

24:12

is

24:12

it

24:12

Milwaukee,

24:16

Wisconsin on Wells street. It was so fun.

24:18

Every topic to bottom, the only unpleasant thing about it was just being in the airplane and that wasn't even that bad.

24:25

Yeah. When I landed from the moment I landed to the moment I left, it was like the best, one of the best experiences of my entire life working.

24:31

It was so fucking fun.

24:33

I had to cancel, I had to cut up a girl's credit card because she kept throwing it on the stage three times.

24:38

I found one. When I go home to, I found a credit card and I cut it up, I just had to kind of cut it right up and shredded it.

24:43

Wow. Always trying to do the it's not, it's not a brilliant original comedy move drunk to tip a drag queen your card.

24:49

It's not my responsibility to find you later and give it to you.

24:52

No, but they're thinking I want to give you everything.

24:54

Cause I'm so wasted. Isn't that funny?

24:56

And then two hours later when they sober up, they're like, where's my Jeb unkind.

25:00

You know? So anyways, nothing to do with me, I'm at the Footlocker spending $10,000.

25:05

Hello? That part, that part.

25:06

Not part. What was it? It was a huge weekend.

25:09

Afterwards. Pride. We had you pre pride.

25:11

It was a Sunday. By the way, bar has been open since 1968.

25:13

We had the biggest sales day on human record.

25:19

Ever if people buy us drinks.

25:20

Oh my God. It was just, everybody was so excited to be out again.

25:23

And it was me and her on a stage.

25:25

It was so the place is beautiful.

25:28

Like I, it was the perfect reemergence, like into, if I had to go like four minute theater, I'd probably have nervous breakdown, you know, with, huh?

25:35

This was just to get up on stage. I was like, okay, do I remember how to do drag?

25:38

Do I remember how to point and look in the mouth and everything?

25:40

And I got to prefer my own song and it was just like, it was so it was just so fun.

25:45

I kept like screaming. I was like, this is so fun.

25:47

I just couldn't handle it. People are so generous with the tips that iron horse hotel fucking turnt me, the food of the iron horse.

25:55

I didn't get to know the waffle best waffle ever had my life.

25:58

You live had two of them.

26:00

I ate it in three 13 seconds, inhaled it like a Dyson vacuum.

26:04

And I told the, the host at the hotel, I was like, how awful, what is the best thing I've ever eaten?

26:10

She

26:10

said

26:10

she

26:10

was

26:10

like,

26:10

that's

26:10

very

26:15

sad. Okay.

26:17

Okay. Yeah. So, but it was so good.

26:19

I got a golden bowl of Starburst at my studio, so I know good food.

26:22

I want, you could call it Gorman, connoisseurs.

26:25

I mean, it was so it was so good, but the people, so during the meet and greet, which was again strange after a year and a half of not really no social interaction, it was, it was like being a sleeper agent.

26:36

I was up there taking money. Cause I also don't.

26:39

We don't really lip sync on like in bars anymore.

26:41

Haven't yeah, it's been awhile. I was like, I remember this, Oh,

26:44

I used to do this. It was the moment In

26:47

a long kiss. Goodnight. When Gina Davis realized that She's

26:50

happy vegetables, I used to do that.

26:53

So That was me taking money from teenagers.

26:57

I used to do this and I was doing Get

27:00

this party, started the Shirley Bassey version in a gown in and up to feeling like the only cross-dresser dancing DBA of Texas, 10 dancing toes, baby sister of drag, the inventor of the modern drag pageantry system system.

27:18

Yeah. So then we get to the meet and greet there in the meeting.

27:20

Only 50 people love it. 50 people are shooting in individually, which is, you know, usually you are like in some kind of crowded area that's noisy and you there's a line.

27:27

And like, I personally feel like I, that energizes me.

27:30

Cause then I'm performed. Like, I feel like I'm interacting, not only with the person, but also kind of giving a show.

27:34

So it helps when you don't you feel kind of tired.

27:37

It's like motivating. So this was a little bit different.

27:39

And people were ushered in individually.

27:40

There's a woman that comes in about halfway through and she she's dressed kind of like me, honestly.

27:47

It's like black red and kind of study you and cute.

27:50

And she goes right to Trixie and she says, oh, I love your style.

27:55

And then she like kind of cranes a neck towards me.

27:58

And she says, and I love your attitude.

28:00

It

28:00

was

28:00

so

28:06

funny. It was, it took me.

28:08

Well, I felt when people say that took me out, I got down on the floor.

28:12

I was actually R O F T L, whatever you call it.

28:15

That's what I was doing. Yeah. She, she was so earnest.

28:18

She goes, and I love your, your attitude, your attitude.

28:20

I, she goes, I love your style and I love your attitude.

28:25

It was the delivery.

28:27

I wish I'm like, why, why the fuck?

28:29

I, if anything, could have been filmed that it was that because it was so it's so funny.

28:34

And so like it, that is a great example of the kind of shenanigans that happened at a multi I girl, meet and greet because sometimes Mary, have you ever done a meet and greet with one or two other girls are usually just one other one.

28:46

Are you kidding? We're okay.

28:47

Let's just address the situation, mom.

28:50

Yeah. You and I are very lucky enough to have fans on a different level than most drag Queens.

28:55

Yeah. And so when I'm at a group situation, I feel awkward because they will be line past six.

29:00

Cross-dressers step on them, cry at my feet.

29:04

Yeah. Step on them and then, and then say nothing to any of them.

29:08

And then, and then the, the, the feeling of those drag Queens, their energy, to me, the glaring eyes, the de contempt, the disgust, the India indifference is to burning a hole in like a group meeting.

29:18

And then somebody will go like, well, make sure is on the end.

29:22

Yeah. Or, or like, yeah. And I offer like, in those times, like I tried to, or they'll have a Trixie shirt, they'll try to get all of them to sign it.

29:30

Or they would, the other thing is like, I dunno, what's worse.

29:32

Ignoring them all. Or then taking up all this time with me and then trying to offer some kind of patronizing commentary attitude.

29:41

Yeah. Like you guys are great too. So it's like, just go, just go, just go, just go, Lisa, just go.

29:46

Don't say that.

29:48

It's, it's really a thing.

29:51

The group mean grades are hard and you know, it's very different.

29:53

Cause I've been with some girls where they they'll they'll they'll take the picture, smiling.

29:58

They love it. And some girls where any little thing is enough front.

30:03

The fact that you said hi to me and not them.

30:05

It's it's very, have you ever been in a situation where the other girl was asked to take the picture of you and the girl?

30:12

Yeah. Have you, have you ever, do you remember when we were, when we were working on our book, then we were on a phone call.

30:26

Oh

30:28

no. Let me tell a story, honey, darling, honey, this Girl.

30:38

Okay. We're on, we're also editable. You have to specify the time period, because can you tell the story?

30:44

I let you talk.

30:46

I need to tell people how this happened to me.

30:49

We

30:49

were

30:49

being

30:49

pitched

30:49

a

30:49

book

30:49

and

30:49

we

30:49

were

30:49

talking

30:49

about

30:49

how

30:49

we

30:49

could

30:49

sell

30:56

copies. It would be great. We can sell these.

30:58

And I believe he said something along the lines of, you know, I mean, I she's like tricksy people like you, but Katia, we really can sell them.

31:09

No, that's that was the gist.

31:11

But I wish we could remember the exact verbiage.

31:13

I don't remember what he said, but the gist was basically they were saying the, the, you know, just in terms of like the risks of making the New York times best selling list or, you know, selling well, you know, our impacts in our reach, he was like, you know, the, both of you it's great.

31:31

But he said like individually, both of you really bring some of that table together.

31:36

It's great. Especially Katia.

31:38

I mean, which it is, it is, it is.

31:43

And also it was just, it may just seem like chop liver.

31:47

Yeah. And it's also fine. But to say it that way on a call was like, so that's what you say when the person's not in the room.

31:54

It was very like, it was not, it was tactless.

31:57

It was a gag. It was a gag.

31:59

And I think you, I didn't say anything.

32:01

I didn't know. I think I was like, okay.

32:05

Call is ending poop.

32:07

Did you hear what was just said?

32:10

Yes. I was at a call with Bob recently.

32:12

We were on something and somebody said, Trixie, all right, we want to talk.

32:17

And he was like, you're a musician, no offense, Bob.

32:19

But Trixie's a musician.

32:20

She's

32:20

released

32:20

music,

32:20

like

32:20

are

32:20

accessible

32:25

music. Yes.

32:25

So to imply that I understand what he's saying.

32:29

Cause I play instruments. And I write that. I understand that.

32:32

But like to insinuate that club music or rapping, or is not music or is it you're not musician?

32:39

I was like, so I called Bob the next day.

32:42

And I was like, did that bother you? Cause that was kind of, he was like, yeah, it bothered me, but it wasn't worth it to say anything.

32:47

And I was like, cause if I was you, I might've gathered that woman.

32:50

Was it live?

32:53

Yeah. Okay. I might've gathered that woman.

32:55

Yeah. Actually whore.

32:57

Yeah. Because you know me, you know me, you love to gather, I w we were on set where we were shooting Netflix here, but we were separate still.

33:07

And I would be shooting by myself and they were like, Trixie, can you up and restart hammer a and I'll be like, yeah, I'd love to like, I mean, the, it was, how do you speak of volumes without, with just saying a Few

33:20

words. You're like, sure.

33:22

I'll do that right now.

33:22

You

33:25

know? I know.

33:28

I know. And then, and then, But

33:31

I am so grateful for, and then you take it a step further, which I'm really grateful for, because I don't do this.

33:35

You just say, if we're not done soon, I'm going to kill myself.

33:40

Yeah. You just say like, we got it.

33:43

Okay. Like you let them know that you don't really ask if we got it.

33:47

You're telling them we're moving on.

33:49

Yeah. Well, we got it. Yeah. Well, let's go.

33:52

Yeah. And it's, I mean, you have, it's really nice that you do that.

33:55

I mean, I just have one of those stones.

33:57

It's the tactless declarative, but also in drag, whatever amount of me wants to hide when I'm feeling gone, when I'm in drag, there's something where I'm just like, yeah, no filter, honey.

34:12

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what it is.

34:14

And also, well, here's the thing, because we have to advocate for ourselves in so many more ways than the average talent does, you know what I mean?

34:20

As we wear many hats and some of them are wigs, some of them are wigs.

34:25

And also we're wearing just the act of being in drag is itself.

34:28

Very uncomfortable. It's work to just sit there.

34:31

Well, you went out, let's take one more break.

34:33

Okay. Let's take a break. Hi

34:38

guys. This edition of the podcast is brought to you by better help.

34:41

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36:05

Hey, all it's Trixie Mattel and Katya is I'm electric Cova.

36:07

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36:11

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36:19

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36:20

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36:30

Thanks. And we're back and fix my bangs.

36:33

Hold on. That's what sometimes I'm like, have we done a good job?

36:36

Tricking people into the more celebrities?

36:37

Because in reality, we don't have lives like anyone.

36:42

I know that's famous.

36:43

I see. I certainly don't.

36:45

I live very meager, humble little apartment, you know, in Hollywood.

36:49

I w I'm not gonna say meager I've lived like Mo more modestly before, but, and I also rent a studio, but like, I'm not, I mean, I'm balling in the sense that I don't cook any meals.

36:59

I had the all pro professionally prepared.

37:03

Yeah. Calling and then he can call an Uber.

37:04

And when it's on surge, I still call it.

37:07

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

37:09

Yeah. For me, I mean, I'm bawling in that. Like I eat every meal out almost that's bawling to me, but it's not at Spargo.

37:15

Does it ever make you think that you're wasting money now?

37:17

Of course, I started getting Instacart.

37:20

Oh. During pandemic and I never stopped because I was like the amount of money on Postmates for years.

37:25

Can't do it anymore. Oh, Tracy. I keep grub hub afloat personally.

37:29

You are. Yeah. I'm the hub in the grub.

37:32

I'm the grub in there. Oh, you're the grubs hobby.

37:35

Yeah. But so, but it doesn't matter because as I, as long as I sleep water food, as long as those are taken care of we'll work on the fine tune and banks.

37:44

Well, yeah.

37:46

How's your, how's your eyebrow journey.

37:49

The eyebrow, the journey is tough because if I'm going to do drag, I have to shave half of them off.

37:54

Okay. It's just a thing I can, we, can we be a translucent transparent?

38:02

We'll translucent means the light shines through.

38:06

Yeah. We let the light shine through on the situation.

38:07

My mom, I wish you would want to do a psychological challenges in the alignments of Windex, the windows, as you know, I'm becoming a DJ and I'm downloading a lot of EDM tracks for my library.

38:16

Cause I read on the internet that a DJ, a DJ has to have songs for every type of event.

38:22

Yeah. So I downloaded the EDM version of Jolene from the movie dumpling and I watched the music video and I saw you, oh no, I saw you in the tire swing.

38:33

I saw you on the tire swing in an outfit that I believe belongs to a different character of yours, Trish

38:41

And

38:41

I

38:41

believe

38:41

you

38:41

were

38:41

covering

38:41

your

38:41

brows

38:41

and

38:41

drawing

38:41

them

38:41

on

38:41

completely

38:41

at

38:41

the

38:41

time

38:41

Mary

38:41

Dougan

38:41

was

38:41

a

38:41

Mary

38:41

Dougan

38:52

twice. This terrible, it looked like a Snapchat filter.

38:55

It's bad.

38:56

It looks to black worms.

38:58

Oh, it was so bad.

39:01

And this is coming from someone made a lot of eyebrow mistakes in my life.

39:04

I mean, I make, I have made and I continue to, to make many mistakes in the beauty realm, but I watched it.

39:10

I went, oh, that's why she uses her real library.

39:12

Well, guess what? The gag also is the first show.

39:15

So I shaved him off completely once and then went to perform live and realized eyebrows actually serve a quite useful purpose of locking, stripping, sweat from the forehead, from entering the eye and, and disintegrating the lash glue, and also liquefying the eyeshadow on its journey down towards the chin.

39:37

Yes. So Josh is wet.

39:39

It's not believable that you can fix it.

39:42

Minutes into the show. I had black glitter tears, droopy lashes, and was completely on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

39:49

So I was like, Ooh, never again.

39:51

Oh yeah.

39:53

I don't want to talk about it any further than that.

39:56

So it was a big time lesson learned and I was like, and I've shaved them off.

40:00

I never shaved them off before. It was the first time completely.

40:02

I was like, okay, naked mole, rat cancer patient.

40:05

Here we go. I was ready to do it.

40:07

Ready to commit. And then I was like, fuck, it's not possible.

40:11

It was so bad. It was literally pouring into the inner part of my eyeballs, pooling in my eyes, glitter and eye shadow, sting, horrible hurt everything.

40:22

Yeah. And I wasn't, I came off stage for the first, after the first section and realized, oh God, there's nothing we can do in time to fix this.

40:31

You just had to go on.

40:33

It was wrong to leave them running makeup on your face.

40:35

Luckily trismus next you mean Jolene Jolene.

40:41

Jolene was next speaker.

40:43

We're going back to gigs. Things are coming back to sort of whatever, the new normal back to me, the tricks and returned to you returning to me the Trixie Mattel story.

40:50

Yeah. I want you to just, I want you to describe to me your ultimate dream gig.

40:56

We talk at theaters. We're talking bars, we're talking your ultimate theatrical presentation of your talent.

41:02

I want to talk, how, where is it?

41:04

How many people what's it like the moon to the whole thing?

41:08

To be honest, when grownup is going on, which we still have two more American dates.

41:12

My LA date only has 90 tickets left.

41:14

If you're in LA, get the ticket sold out, get the tickets paid to get the tickets, to get the tickets, get the shoes, wait, actually get the shoes, get the shoes.

41:23

Maybe you get the shoes. Rochester, New York, Rudy Spears was cloned.

41:27

Oh my God. Magic society.

41:29

T what's on the other one.

41:32

Take

41:32

Stella,

41:32

stay

41:32

queerest

41:36

book. Look with the leg muscle.

41:37

Everybody can look and also look at the Gucci track suit.

41:41

The Gucci. Oh yeah. Dirty the socks.

41:44

Oh my God.

41:45

Yeah. That's a shadow. That's the shadow.

41:51

Okay. To answer your question. My ideal gig starts UVS.

41:55

Okay. It has an air conditioned SUV and there's a driver.

41:58

Who's nice to me, but doesn't talk to me that much.

42:01

And those are those.

42:03

Usually when you book a service, a car service that is, you know, of a higher level and price point than an Uber, of course you have preferences that you're able to, to indicate like temperature, preference, cool, and warm, whatever conversation, quiet, whatever you gotta, gotta got it.

42:18

If I request conversation while they talk to me, do they have to talk to me?

42:24

I'm sure that they will. I see that they, the, in my experience, they will tailor the, they will get all the relevant information to tailor the experience to your absolute pleasure.

42:35

So when grownup is going on, there's this opening number called?

42:38

We got the look from Barbara.

42:40

It's like 15 minutes long.

42:42

There's vamps with the band playing under me.

42:44

While I tell these jokes, there's like five costume changes.

42:47

I'm ripping them off and tossing them while I'm telling jokes.

42:50

I have never felt cooler, more famous Richard.

42:53

Beautiful. When the show has been going 15 minutes and I'm on costume number five.

42:57

Yeah. That is lit. She's making money moves.

43:00

That's the ideal gig. And then I leave.

43:01

It's just one number.

43:02

The rest of the show I li I put on the movie, the country bears Blu-ray and everyone loves it.

43:08

And I leave how many people are watching and where is it taking place?

43:11

What city? It's about 1500 people are there.

43:14

And it's a small venue with tears.

43:16

So it feels big, but everyone could see me.

43:18

Good. Okay. It's probably in Los Angeles or Chicago or London.

43:29

Okay. London, people like comedy.

43:31

They, yeah, they turn, they turned out.

43:33

I always liked performing in London. The air conditioning an issue.

43:36

I don't think even I was at Sonesta the night.

43:40

Cinespia the other night with our managers.

43:43

Yeah. And my assistant had a discussion.

43:44

I said, buddy, build a room.

43:48

Yeah. This is the room. This is air conditioning.

43:51

Yeah. W when I less this, I said, now that we all, now that you guys have, let me feel this.

43:56

It can never not be like this.

43:59

Yeah. Once you taste the sweet nectar of the gods, I mean, it's true.

44:03

It's like, once you've slept on it, Casper or whatever, you know, you can't go back to the nail bed.

44:08

It's like, I don't know.

44:12

And I think I was talking about it.

44:14

I think I finally talked about it to our management company.

44:17

I was like, since we've been doing this for 84 years, it's been 84 years of pain and suffering and it has to change.

44:26

The temperature has got to change.

44:29

We were on the other day and there was no air conditioning all day, all day.

44:34

And I had just come from our, I think two days before that I had filmed with Tammy brown at PG the studios there.

44:43

90 degrees in Burbank, no air conditioning unit at all, not one air conditioning unit at all.

44:52

There's no, not, you know, when people say there's no AC they mean there's like not powerful.

44:56

AC I'm talking. There was none in between takes.

45:00

They had to blast three fans at me in order to keep me from taking all of the knives from the kitchen and shoving them into my neck or taking the front off the fan unit, the window unit and use and using as a weapon and chopping someone to pieces.

45:12

Yeah. Product crowbar at a prop crowbar that I just wished that was real.

45:17

So I could just beat myself to death with it.

45:19

My ideal gig is a two and a half minute number in the freezer.

45:26

Yes. Guides. Let me tell you and tell you what I'm doing.

45:28

I'm doing just the rest at the beginning of MacArthur park.

45:32

Yeah. And when she gets to I leave and the music starts duty and I'm gone, this is my, let me, I'm going to walk you through my like ideal gig.

45:43

So it is on a Sunday.

45:46

It's a 5:00 PM tea dance.

45:49

T's okay. And I get ready.

45:51

I get ready of my own and my own house, whatever.

45:53

Then I am picked up literally by a couple of men who are wearing these suits that are like, literally have like gel frozen gel on them.

46:04

So their bodies are absolutely freezing to the tights.

46:07

Mr. Mr.

46:10

Freeze, Mr. And Mrs. Freeze.

46:12

He wanted to see your hotel room and he goes with this come only this year.

46:15

No, it's John Snow from game of Thrones.

46:18

Sean Snow.

46:21

The white walkers, Mr. Freeze.

46:23

And who else has a frosty?

46:26

The snowman. The bear from the Klondike bar.

46:29

Yeah. Okay. And I am brought to the stage where it is.

46:33

The first thing I see are, are those Inuits?

46:37

Oh, no. People are just like, they're dressed.

46:40

Like it's the dead of winter.

46:41

And I know I'm home.

46:43

I go, that's a sickening blue lip.

46:45

And I realize, yes, hypothermia, which being front row is Jack from Titanic.

46:51

He's on the front of the stage. Like this rose is the stage manager, singable, Molly, bronze doing lights mama and see no, man, the DJ's is the DJ is Brendan Frazier and it's CDOT, man.

47:05

And then the security is Austin Powers frozen.

47:09

And then prior to the gig, but it's or runway.

47:17

So it's a fierce runway walk with fans at every angle blowing my hair and fringe fan.

47:23

It's just a runway walk. I do one minute of a lip sync in with like, you know, those have those, like there's the shooting air thing, frozen air, frozen air with a little bit of like citrus vinegarette, sand or something, ode OOD, a little bit of

47:40

And then I'm out.

47:43

I slide right into the water, like a water country, the lady of the lake.

47:48

Yeah. Back into LA Llorona territory.

47:49

You walk into lady of the lake and it's basically almost frozen except one runway through the ice.

47:57

And it's just an ice lose.

47:58

My whole performance is just an ice Lucius a winter, but it's not just frozen.

48:03

It's mixed with Dawn.

48:04

And so when you come out, you're out of town and as you come out of the water, someone hands you a lit cigarette bag and a bag of those crunchy cookies back to those crunchy cookies.

48:19

Oh my God, we cracked the code.

48:22

We cracked the code, hanging out, PG Mary, You

48:26

have to call them.

48:27

You have to call them to call them.

48:31

Hold on.

48:33

If you have any other frozen characters that are, they can also be invited to the gig, please, Elsa, Elsa.

48:39

Oh, but she's not doing much though, because she's kind of annoying.

48:42

Also as a shock girl, Alice is a shock girl with the ticket girl at the counter.

48:46

I just want, you know what it makes me think of.

48:51

I fantasize about doing numbers and bars and then in Wisconsin, winter stepping outside and getting cooled down in four seconds.

48:59

Oh, it is.

49:01

Well, I'm telling you, my dream gig was Aspen's gay ski week.

49:04

I did twice, two years in a row.

49:06

The first stop they just stopped.

49:09

VH1 just stopped doing it. It was logo. Actually it was logo.

49:11

So I think the transition to VH1 does Aspen still have a gay ski week?

49:15

We should go. Nope, because you don't want to go a, I hate skiing B I don't like rich people.

49:20

The, the, the, the it's very, you know, but the, the scenery picture is so beautiful.

49:27

It's so beautiful.

49:29

The gig mama P, but they're not really rich.

49:32

Are they? Cause it doesn't, isn't it real money.

49:34

What does it real money goes to Vail or real money.

49:37

What is it, Brandon?

49:40

What is it? Wealth screams.

49:41

Money

49:44

screamed. But wealth whispers. Is that what it is?

49:46

Well, it's it's whereas like people who, people who are like new rich or a little bit rich or obnoxious as I'm sitting here in this alphabet, I know as with a picture, with a picture of herself hanging above her, I'm going to get the picture of the bookstore, my pride, my pride money and spent it on this outfit.

50:04

No one it'd be good for the tour bus.

50:05

I think you should buy whatever you want to do. It's yellow.

50:07

I'm not gelling. How many tattoos were those donations and also mama at $9,000 Gucci suit.

50:12

I bought that. I very deep as I'm sitting here with my $26,000 teeth, you think this outfit, the issue?

50:22

Well, teeth, you lost me a long time ago.

50:25

Mama. These are Oliver peoples.

50:25

Let me get a vampire facial to go with my, all the people all over her peep holes all over her people.

50:32

Yeah. What's your idea. I guess that's, that's my ideal gig.

50:35

You just literally just rang my bell.

50:37

You rang my bell. That was, I, I mean, I can't imagine a scenario.

50:40

That's more pleasurable than that. An ice luge into a Dawn pool.

50:44

from ice age.

50:47

Yeah. Yeah. From ice age. Oh, woolly. Mammoth.

50:49

Oh yeah. And then what's the one it's a wooly mammoth.

50:53

It's a lot of hair. There's Tufts Narnia.

50:55

The queen from Narnia.

50:56

Oh the ice lady from yeah.

51:00

Isn't there like ice and Narnia. Turn it.

51:02

Charlise Theron.

51:04

No Tilda. Swinton, Tilda, Swinton.

51:07

Tilda. Swinton. Yeah.

51:07

Ice princess.

51:10

Yes. She's like, you know, also invited ever since her hands, he's doing ice sculptures.

51:14

I sculptures on my way to my private jet, which is also made out of cold hops.

51:19

You

51:19

know

51:19

what

51:19

else

51:19

too,

51:19

while

51:19

you're

51:19

doing

51:19

your

51:19

number

51:19

versus

51:19

her

51:19

hand

51:19

is

51:19

doing

51:19

the

51:19

sculpture

51:19

and

51:19

snow

51:19

is

51:19

raining

51:19

down

51:19

on

51:27

him. Oh no. I don't like that because it's going to get me all wet.

51:29

What's the number?

51:30

It's oh, it's breath on me by Brittany Spears.

51:38

Oh, I'm doing, I'm an, I'm an ear muffs, high ponytail ski goggles in the hair.

51:45

I'm doing that. Don ever tell Donna don't ever tell her Saatchi don't ever tell her my house, my rules, my pressure.

51:52

You know that song.

51:52

Mary play.

51:55

Yeah. Mary, my house, my rules, my pressure, my house style.

52:00

Senior

52:00

73

52:04

questions. This is a funny, well, there's this, this guy does seven questions and it's those ones.

52:09

Hers is so funny. They're all so funny.

52:11

I watched it. I watched the, what does it say?

52:13

23 questions. 70, 73. I watched the 73 questions.

52:16

Anna Wintour. And she said that the biggest fashion full pot is all black head to toe.

52:20

Oh yeah. Head-to-toe black.

52:21

Yeah, but I thought that's what like chic people did.

52:24

Nope. She's all about color.

52:26

She would never wear a head to toe black.

52:29

And she also hates the word journey in reference to fashion that I can, I've watched that I've watched her 73 questions like 25 times.

52:39

So 73 times 20.

52:41

It's just like when you watched the old guard, like it was a series.

52:44

I know I wanted it to be a series.

52:48

So I made it into one.

52:49

You know, it's weird, but I've started to think this is your hair from looking at you this long.

52:54

Well, plugs, Andrew keeps saying plugs using keeps it works.

53:01

No Anderson. I should get plugs. And I'm like Mary, there, ain't no hero there.

53:04

Get a grip. What? From what?

53:06

That

53:06

bald

53:06

head

53:06

white

53:10

here. Are you going to pull the plug. What? Thank you.

53:12

You can do the aggressive patch on my lower back and add it on top of my head.

53:16

Meanwhile, Andrew Yang literally has not, not the presidential mayoral candidate, but he has, he just got highlights.

53:22

A cut. Literally he looks at Countess Luann.

53:24

It is, it is confrontational.

53:27

Somebody literally said to him, they saw him over the weekend and then texted him later on.

53:31

It was so great to see you. This, it was so great to see you in your hair this weekend.

53:35

He's

53:35

like

53:35

somebody

53:35

who's

53:35

like,

53:35

why

53:35

don't

53:35

you

53:35

go

53:35

fuck

53:35

yourself,

53:35

go

53:35

fucking

53:35

Orville

53:35

Peck

53:35

drove

53:35

by

53:35

my

53:35

house

53:35

and

53:44

screamed. Hi, balled out the window.

53:46

I

53:46

don't

53:46

like

53:50

that. Our fans. Yeah.

53:51

I'm like, bye tweet. Good morning.

53:53

Morning, fat, old faggy, bald fucker.

53:55

I hear you. Aging, cracky, fuck.

53:58

Face high old fat faggy balled piece of shit.

54:01

Can you sing happy birthday to Sarah?

54:03

Can

54:03

I

54:03

find

54:03

so

54:03

you

54:03

and

54:03

I

54:03

have

54:03

a

54:03

lot

54:03

on

54:03

our

54:09

plate. We're we're about to, I have to film the motel show in a second here.

54:12

Let's see. There's a lot on the plate in your plate is considerably larger than mine.

54:17

Thank God. But yeah, you got it.

54:19

Oh, we're about to film 64 shoot days.

54:21

Actually let me, let me tell you what we're embroiled.

54:23

And currently we're doing this also.

54:26

We are, we are doing a, a writing venture together separate than the new book, which we are also doing.

54:33

And then you're filming a motel, a renovation series by yourself, and then we're gearing up for a dating show with the right.

54:40

We're both doing. And then you're completing tour dates that were postponed from last year.

54:45

And then we're embarking on a world tour that was postponed from last year.

54:49

And then I'm going to kill myself.

54:53

Yeah. It's going to be too long.

54:54

I miss no album.

54:56

Your workouts. Oh yeah. I have another record coming out work.

54:59

What's it called 10 songs. And it's called the pink album.

55:02

The pink album. I think I've told anyone.

55:03

I might as well find out here. Yeah. Tricks me to tell the pink album.

55:06

Are you, are you being into like, do like, you know, reveals and teasers and stuff?

55:11

Do you like it? That stuff like it's like I should I, instead of telling it on this podcast, it should have been like a 25, 25 day rollout.

55:17

That's what I'm talking about. Like, and then your secret project or pixels on your Instagram that each day, like after three months reveal to a picture, that's like, shit, it's one track and it's, but It's

55:29

just an announcement coming soon.

55:32

Well, that's just nice. Supposed being independent musical artists because don't sell yourself short number one, electronic album.

55:37

And I love it. I love the album.

55:39

I still love it. I'm so proud of it.

55:42

I mean, remixes lit.

55:44

Fuck. I put in my DJ mixes.

55:46

It's fucking lit market. Hollick turned my pussy out.

55:49

I love her. She is an icon Michael Hall.

55:52

Like if you guys don't a music producer did kitty girl.

55:54

She's the mother, mother mother Mary.

55:57

He also did the AAA girls. A a a N.

56:00

She's such a sweet, nice lovely guy with a great little apartment.

56:04

I'd fuck. He's so gorgeous to fuck him.

56:07

Suck his Dick when people are hot and nice on one hand, I'm like hot, nice and talented on the, on one hand, I'm like a Hawkeyes and they're never that nice.

56:15

I wish why don't they just treat me like an old person.

56:17

And then when they're hot and they talk to me, I'm like, don't talk to me unless you're gonna fuck me.

56:21

I just have like, no middle, no chill, chill.

56:25

I'm a big fan of Trixie.

56:28

Really? How big, how big, how big show me an inches in my ass.

56:31

I

56:31

need

56:31

you

56:31

to

56:31

shove

56:31

a

56:31

pool

56:31

thermometer

56:31

at

56:31

my

56:35

ass. So that little duck is poking out.

56:36

You know that little duck duck right in this shitter, that duck right in this little pool.

56:46

Fuck my ass.

56:48

Oh my God. Well, we're about to embark on the, let's get people a little teaser.

56:51

What are you looking for in love?

56:53

Oh my God. I'm looking for romantic satisfaction on every level I have closed the door and the spiritual realm.

57:00

So I am, I am imploring note, a divination.

57:05

People who practice divination taro card.

57:07

No. Do you know what I'm talking about? I can't believe that.

57:10

It's so crazy. It's so insane.

57:12

I feel like all of my things I'm different.

57:15

I feel like it's, I can't even go down that road.

57:19

She is nuts. This hair with your, your body and age is giving me aging trinket pride.

57:26

Oh, it is like, I should be wearing an ed Hardy shirt.

57:29

Oh yeah.

57:32

Maybe an eyebrow ring late in life.

57:34

Eyebrow ring. It is actually the hair, the color.

57:37

What do you remember? The tire king sagging Arbor ring.

57:40

That's it was, yeah.

57:42

And I have some faded prison tattoos and yeah, I said doom.

57:45

When you watched a straight porn dude, the guy went to make one under the, with minimal one.

57:50

And he said the big one.

57:53

And I said, okay, I can work with that.

57:55

Where's

57:55

the

57:59

Emmy. Where's the Oscar.

58:00

Well, we heard my, my hurt, my Madonna.

58:03

It's incredible. I was like, whoa, is the artist Madonna here now in the studio.

58:06

It makes sense that dialects come so natural to me.

58:10

It does because I'm so well-traveled water.

58:16

You'd been in boarder. You ever had a glass of water and going home.

58:19

It

58:19

depends

58:19

at

58:19

Delaware

58:22

county. I had to go home.

58:25

We got, we got to go home. I get it. I need a glass of water.

58:27

I got to wash my clothes. Oh yes.

58:29

It's Baltimore. Yeah. Baltimore Connie and Ryman marbles.

58:33

Yeah.

58:33

Mayor

58:33

of

58:33

his

58:35

town. Kate Winslet. Incredible.

58:37

The mayor, the mayor of east town in downtown Abbey downtown that it was the downtown Abby mayor of this town crossover.

58:46

We didn't know we needed to go home.

58:48

It was the mayor, the mayor of east downtown Abbey.

58:52

As,

58:52

as

58:52

a

58:52

sex

58:52

in

58:52

the

58:52

city

58:52

sex

58:52

with

58:52

sex

58:52

sex

58:52

with

58:52

the

59:01

city. I've had sex with the city sex in this shit.

59:05

Oh my God. Oh, well Here,

59:11

because we have subscribed to the pod.

59:13

We have new episodes every week and next week, you'll never believe who we have on the pod because we haven't booked them yet.

59:19

Switching

59:45

to Geico is a good idea. Especially when you consider everything first off, Geico makes it easy to switch.

59:50

They have licensed agents available twenty four seven online or over the phone.

59:54

But if it's so easy, you might start thinking everything is easy, even big wave surfing.

59:59

And it's not, it's actually quite difficult.

1:00:01

Well, if you switch to Geico, you could save hundreds on car insurance and you could keep saving by bundling your motorcycle, boat and RV plus your home or renter's insurance.

1:00:10

But saving money might lead you to make some questionable purchases like a 20 foot feather boa.

1:00:15

And do you know how hard it is to clean a 20 foot feather boa?

1:00:18

Well, they do have an industry leading mobile app.

1:00:20

You can use to pay your bill file or manage a claim or add a new driver.

1:00:23

But when life gets a little easier, it makes it you confident and you start calling everyone ACE you're better.

1:00:30

Well, Geico has a 97% customer satisfaction rating and has been saving people money for 85 years.

1:00:37

It's hard to beat that, but switched to Geico.

1:00:40

It's obviously a good idea.

1:00:42

Switching

1:00:42

to

1:00:42

Geico

1:00:42

is

1:00:42

a

1:00:42

good

1:00:46

idea. Especially when you consider everything first off, Geico makes it easy to switch.

1:00:50

They have licensed agents available twenty four seven online or over the phone.

1:00:54

But if it's so easy, you might start thinking everything is easy, even big wave surfing.

1:00:59

And it's not, it's actually quite difficult.

1:01:01

Well, if you switch to Geico, you could save hundreds on car insurance and you could keep saving by bundling your motorcycle, boat and RV plus your home or renter's insurance.

1:01:10

But saving money might lead you to make some questionable purchases like a 20 foot feather boa.

1:01:16

And do you know how hard it is to clean a 20 foot feather boa?

1:01:18

Well, they do have an industry leading mobile app.

1:01:21

You can use to pay your bill file or manage a claim or add a new driver.

1:01:24

But when life gets a little easier, it makes it you confident and you start calling everyone ACE you're better.

1:01:30

Well, Geico has a 97% customer satisfaction rating and has been saving people money for 85 years.

1:01:37

It's hard to beat that, but switch to Geico.

1:01:40

It's obviously a good idea.

1:01:42

Summer's in the air and we're all looking forward to getting in the air, and we're all looking forward to getting together. I know I'm thinking about my appearance and with my reemergence into the world, I want to feel new and fabulous. Well, I discovered a fragrance that does just that, and I can't get enough of Well. I discovered a fragrance that does just that and I can't get enough of it. It's called by LSU. Think of a delightful, exhilarating sparkling citrus with the lingering elegance and a divine splash of sunny orange of a delightful exhilarating sparkling citrus with a lingering elegance and a divine splash of sunny orange blossom. It's ever It's fastened. It's refreshing, empowering, and I love It's refreshing, empowering, and I love it. And if it can make you smell good, mama. It's got it. This is drama stuff. Yeah. I live here's here. It's founder and founder and creator. Frank Saltz fiddle is one of the most celebrated perfume makers in the world of Frank Seltz Fiddle. He's one of the most celebrated perfume makers in the world of fashion. His best known fragrance creations include Acqua di Gio per owned by His best known fragrance creations include Aqua DiGiopera by Giorgio. Armani. I love that I love that one. Do you really? Yeah, it's a good It's a good one. And Mary, the smash had flower bond by Victor and Wolf, Victor and Wolf, Victor and Ralph is And Mary, the smashes flowerbomb by Victor and wolf Victor and wolf. Victor and Roth, firebomb. Gorgeous love, gorgeous spice farm as well developed with some of the greatest perfumers in the love, gorgeous, spice bomb as well. Developed with some of the greatest performers in industry. Oh, Papa. Ghana is just one of nine outstanding gender free is just one of nine outstanding gender free fragrances. I actually sprayed it on Andrew before I got here. And he's gender free. Anyway, he is he is gender. He's a super He's super gender. Yeah. He loved it. Yeah. So for our audience, Elizir is offering twenty percent off with code Beautiful. Go to Ellis ear.com today and capture your Go to elizere dot com today and capture your mood. That's E L I S I R e.com with the That's ELISIRE dot com with the code Beautiful. E L I S I R e.com with the ELISIRE dot com with the code Beautiful. Well, we, the less interesting American version of Brenda call me we the less interesting American version of Brenda Call Me, probably. Yeah. Yeah. You brought something from your studio that I love non flushable brought something from your studio that I NonFlushable Turds. starboard. So So good. Yeah. Yeah. One of my favorite things about going to your studio is I know that the snacks are going to be one of the favorite One of my favorite things about going to your studio is I know that the snacks are gonna be one of the favorite things. The only thing I like about going to your suit, you notice whenever I show up, it's always, when I've been on a run and I happen to be in front of her house and I eat warehouse down with The only thing I like about going here. You notice whenever I show up, it's always when I've been on a run and I happen to be a foreigner house Yeah. -- and I eat with a house down with the star ball. Yeah. I that's one thing about That's one thing about I mean, hospitality wise, I'm not very good at anything, but I always do keep a nice gold goal filled with pink and red and fuchsia starbursts. It is a known fact that a lady do have Ebola starburst. That's right. I got my bangs during the during between episodes. I don't know. What do you think? Well, like, they'll go out. Yeah. They'll go out. I it. I don't know if I should probably get guy know if I should probably get skylights maybe. Did people ever call men's highlights? Guilots? They still do. What? Yeah. Guiliner? Yeah. Doesn't make you wanna just take the noose. Right? I'm so tired. Imagine how tired we are. Well, you don't have to change it to god. Because both any gender has eyes. Yeah. In fact, most species do in fact have eyes. Many, if not most species. However, let's enough about science. What we can talk about today. Hi. Hi, George. Let's talk about what happened them all the other day. Okay. So I'm let me take Oh, by the way, I I watched the episode where I talked about the Ayahuasca journey and I you really let me tell a story. You really let me tell the whole story. I don't like it. I mean, I'm not saying it was, like, this prodigious, like, prodigious feet of selflessness. Like, you I mean, you're just struggling to I mean, I felt like you're engaged. And it was like, you know, all the comments were like, not talking. This is the best episode ever. So No. No. No. No. No. Tell us what happened at mall. What is different about you right now? What is different about you? Oh, it's the headphones with the no glasses? In the glass. Yeah. I like this look. You do? Yes. I just got them. I went to Oh, I hate it. Put it back on. Put it back on. I love those glasses on you. I don't know with oh, they're from Oliver Peoples. Oliver Peoples is the one. Yes. Oliver Peoples is the one. Yes. It is. Yeah. Those frames are Perfect. Oh for you. Thanks. In a lovely neutral flattering color. I always wanna get glasses like this because I just wanted to look like the girl from ghost world. Or a Birch and Ghost World, but then they look like that Does that guy from Rockwell's Modern Life? I don't know. I feel like these are fabulous for your face. Yeah. Thank you. I'm gonna I have glasses too. I don't have much new glasses because I thought I'd start wearing again because I find that people recognize me less than glasses. And sometimes I don't wanna get recognized. Do the beagle purse? The that was in the mustache. Very discreet. I'll just baseball cap with glasses. Mhmm. And then I don't think people really clocked me. People clocked me a lot with the mask and a hat on. Of course, the hat said no. The hat said to write something in Russian. And then I was wearing like Katia flip-flops two then I was wearing, like, cut you flip flops. Two cigarettes. Yeah. Two cigarettes. Yeah. Did people ever do cigarette in this and cigarette in this? No. That Two at a time. Yeah. Do they ever well, you can't. Think about it. Oh, wait. You could do this. Oh, Would American Spirit here and then a club men at all? Yeah. What am men? Do you remember club cigarettes were thing? They still are. Were you into that? Yep. You were yeah. Goth, big staple of the Goth community. Because they smell like ham. They do not smell like ham. They smell like clothes. America. Cloves are added to ham to make him less hand me. Are you a farmer? No, but I'm an eater. And I've eaten my share of him. To be fair, I couldn't tell you what him. Tastes likes anymore. So taste like piggy meat. It tastes like bacon. Right? Well, not like it, it. But that's it's the same that's it's the same animal. Ham is gross though. Like, if this if I was ever gonna cheat would cheat off cheat on? I've been cheated this before. Like, you're not cheating. wouldn't start with ham. Slide deviations. Why w Why well, why what is this obsession with calling? Like, why can't we say what it Like, why can't we say what it is? Yeah. We're going to roast them pig roast up that piggy, you know, We're gonna roast some pig. Roast up that piggy. You know, cow think people don't like being confronted with the reality of what they're eating, or that is an that is a preposterous assumption. It's a difference between you wanna rim me, tongue my shitter. You know what I mean? It's it's a different vibe. I read a porn story where that word shitter was used repeatedly to to refer to the anus in an erotic way. And I said My shitter. Yeah. Oh, my shitter. He plunged his death draw deep inside his his tight, hairy, shitter. My shittaross. shitter. I flick my shitter, Russ, my shit slit, my shit flipped my shittaross. My shit slid. My my shit slid and my my your your your your DiCaprio. Your my brown were loose. Well, now that's close to home because the the no. What is that you're clearly You Do you want me to play with your Klitty? People saying Klitty? This is to refer to. It would be People say Klitty. Say Klitty. No. This is it was it was said to me in reference to my penis while I was in drag. And the man was asking and this is interesting because he was asking, what is the what is the your preferred terminology for the situation happening right now. Because and I was actually impressed by that because he was like, he didn't wanna say, I wanna like, you want me to touch a dick because if if he didn't know maybe I don't identify as a man, would therefore, I don't think of it as a dick or whatever. You know what I mean? So on and so forth, It was a fascinating thing, although the terminology he offered was not to my liking. A respectful was like, what are the what are the pronouns of your genitals? A respectful, transamorous lover. He was very respectful. I love that. Yeah. And he was DTF mommy. Everything out. Did he want it? Yes. And his asshole was, like, the holy grail. Did you let him have it? I let him have it. All I mean, I would let him have it all. Let him take me to the bank and just foreclose my him take me to the bank and just foreclose my home. Like, it was I think about him actually all the time. All the time. He would sit on my face and suck on my clitty. Uh-huh. For hours. You love that. I love it. There was this guy I used to go out with who lived next to the California Pizza Kitchen on Hollywood Boulevard. And he he just wanted me to sit on his space for hours. Yeah. And said that he didn't even care if he came. That was me. Yeah. He was just ready to he was just he was it's not about the destination. It's all about that journey. Country with a. Yeah. In fact, one, although it was interesting, No old country be no country buffet for Old Men. What is it? Old country buffet for no men. No. What is it something something No country for old men. No country buffet for old men. No country for no country buffet for bald men. Question, is there anybody from your past, sexual dead or alive than if you could have that hookup magically happen again. Yes. Absolutely. Yes. His name is Dylan. And he was in the army. And I I probably talked about him before, but this this boy at at the time he was in his early twenties and I was probably I was thirty. It was my sexual renaissance or reemergence. And he would come over and we would have sex all night long. No drugs, totally sober. He would come five times. He was in the army and he were leggy. Go on. He was he was, like, a specimen of he was a a perfect male specimen. Naturally hairless groomed, very large dick, incredible ass, clean, hygiene on point, tight fade, beautiful like, he was, like, not well educated, but very intelligent. He was just the dream man. The dream man. Super chill. Evolved, not pretentious, and he could get that. I would we would fuck, he would come. And then we would chill and smoke. He smoked, which I loved. And then just smoke in the bed. No. No. No. We'd go to the couch or go to the bar, I had a little bar in the house, and then smoke, and then I would just rub his shoulders and then the dick would go up again. And I'd be like, it's It's part three. This is the godfather three. Let's do it. He's straight identifying. He was straight identified. Yeah. He most of Katya He so okay. He did not do speak, but he cleansed very well because I ate his ass, like a Turkey dinner, Thanksgiving feast, like Babette's He did not do speak but he cleansed very well because I ate his ass, like, a turkey dinner. Thanksgiving feast like Babette's feast. No. We get the last supper. Yeah. Like, my last meal in prison, like, the only in and out. But he was not a bottom. So we were kind of at an impasse because I was not yet able to receive penises in my asshole -- Uh-huh. -- and his was quite girthy. So but we just did everything else so much kissing. I mean, this was like so romantic, so hot, so incredible all night mean, this was like so romantic, so hot, so incredible all night long. And then we would talk about things that were actually interesting. Talk about things that are actually interesting. Can I just say that the the the surprise hit, the sleeper hit of a good hookup, is somebody you don't mind talking to afterward? That's the sleeper hit. It's like coming again. It's it's mind blowing. Yeah. Like, because as you know, in as many of the listeners know, once the ejaculation has occurred, mama, the crew has gone Like, because as you know and as many of the listeners know, once the the ejaculation has occurred, mama, the crew has gone home three weeks wrapped I mean, wrapped in the party's office. Yeah. For wrap, he's gone legal's even, like, left the building. Like, it is done. This was, like, but of course, I didn't come. The whole night. I wouldn't I wouldn't come. I sometimes, I wouldn't come until after he left. Would be like four in the morning. I was recently thinking of Joan Crawford being like the first person on set in the morning, five AM. Uh-huh. To wait. What are you talking about? Well, you know, they they like in in Hollywood when they hear a lot of Turds, you heard like A List Stars where they're like, oh, she's the first one on set in morning. He's always the first one there. He gets there. When the light pupil gets there, really like, it's like a measure of how dedicated the light people gets there. Really? Like, it's like a measure of how dedicated you are. Sure. Sure. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Will that ever be you? On set. No. Me neither. No. No. No. No. I care about stuff. No. I've never gotten there first. No. But I'll get there when it's appropriate for me to get there. was like, I if there's a time, I will try to be five minutes earlier than that. Yeah. That's pretty much That's pretty much it. Same. Yeah. I might not always be there. On time or however that rap song goes. Or be there. Yeah. You know, we might -- Mhmm. -- cast you, like, we're still there. Yeah. But wait. Why did I say that? Why were you talking about the sex thing? Oh, I asked you if there was a hookup you issue could relive. What about you? Doctor demanded. Being honest? No. Let's lie. Not really. Oh, just a string of shitty ones. Well, I don't, I don't think I've had a hookup that like blue, like, I mean, not that they been blow my mind, but like was so miles and leagues above the don't I don't think I've had a hookup that, like, blew like, I mean, not that they even blow my mind, but, like, was so miles of leagues above the rest. I guess, I haven't had too many horrible ones. Maybe why. It's gonna say, oh, shit. But we'll fuck all these hookups. I literally don't do it. Fuck all your former hookups. We're just like right now. Fuck all that. You want non memorable piece of shit, forgettable low cuffs. I don't think so. No. Did you ever did you ever leave or have someone leave your house and and you kinda sat down and you're like, whoa. What the Wow. And then immediately call a girlfriend to talk about No. I will say have no chill and sometimes they'll leave a text. No. No. It's amazing. No. Is that weird? It's not weird. Obviously, it's certainly honest. It's it's creepy. You don't do that. You call girlfriend and say that. You call your girlfriend. Yeah. Say we've had your girlfriend. Yeah. Do you like Robin's music? I do. Me too. Call you turd friend NFT, non flushable, Call you a friend. NFT non flushable turds. You're getting in on the ground floor with cryptocurrency? Let's change this. I don't really understand it. No. I don't either. The only people who are telling me about crypto have a or white people with dreads are macro. You know what I mean? It's a lot of white straight people being like, what is it with white straight men? And, like, the idea of, like, It's this new currency you all get to. We're gonna be rich. We're gonna be riding golf carts in the moon tomorrow. Yeah. Marie. yeah. Fuck that. I'm gonna go back to, like, I'm gonna go back to sawbacks and, like, to blooms. Gold to blooms. Yeah. Yeah. Honestly, even credit card is too much. I'm ready for, like, whatever the subdermal, like, Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Nobody can steal my identity. Nobody can steal my thing. Bloop. Bloop. Bloop. Yeah. And nobody could control you remotely with that either. Give me, how about an acrylic pinky nail? Mhmm. It has a square it. Yeah. And if if you really wanna just if you really want out of the system off the grid, you just go whack with a meat cleaver. We're at the mall. Oh, wait. Well, we we didn't we didn't even talk about We're getting into the mall because I remember the trainer thought that I got derailed on. Okay. We take a break. Absolutely. We're taking a break. Summers in the air, and we're all looking forward to getting together. I know I'm thinking about my appearance and with my reemergence into the world, I want to feel new and fabulous. Well, I discovered a fragrance that does just that and I can't get enough of it. It's called o papagana by Elizia. Think of a delightful exhilarating sparkling citrus with a lingering elegance and a divine splash of sunny orange blossom. It's effervescent. It's refreshing, empowering, and I love it. And if it can make you smell good, mama. It's got it. It's a strong start. Yeah. That lives here as founder and creator of Frank Saltz fiddle is one of the most celebrated perfume makers in the world of founder and creator Frank Salzfidl is one of most celebrated perfume makers in the world of fashion. His best known fragrance creations include Acqua di Gio, PIR owned by His best known fragrance creations include Aquadigio Parham by Giorgio. Armani. I love that I love that one. Do you really really? Yeah, it's a good It's a good one. And Mary, the smash had flower bond by Victor and Wolf, Victor and Wolf, Victor and Ralph Spire, firebomb gorgeous, gorgeous spice farm as well developed with some of the greatest perfumers in the Mary, the smashes flower bomb by Victor and wolf Victor and wolf. Victor and wolf, flower bomb, gorgeous, love, gorgeous, spice bomb as well. Developed with some of the greatest perfumers in industry. Oh, Papa. Ghana is just one of nine outstanding gender free is just one of nine outstanding gender free fragrances. I actually sprayed it on Andrew before I got here. And he's gender free. Anyway, he is he is gender. He's a super He's super gender. Yeah. He loved it. it. Yeah. So for our audience Ella's is offering 20% off with the So for our audience, Elizir is offering twenty percent off with code Beautiful. Go to Ellis ear.com today and capture your Go to elizere dot com today and capture your mood. That's E L I S I R e.com with the that's ELISIRE dot com with the code Beautiful. E L I S I R e.com with the ELISIRE dot com with the code beautiful. Today's episode is sponsored by Keeps, which, you know, it's product about hair loss. Mhmm. We don't have any hair loss. We don't, we don't, but you know We don't. We don't. But you know what? I can't I can't relate. No, I haven't met glossy, had a No. I haven't had a whole time. Like, velocity had hair. 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Treatment could take four to six months to see the results and it's easier to keep the hair you have. Didn't grow it back. Yeah. I've seen a friend of mine uses keeps and I'm I it is incredible. I've known him for over five years and there is not one hair he has not lost one hair in his head. If anything, that thing is thick, juicy, glossy, and full, or then If anything, that thing is thick, juicy, glossy, and full or ever. Is it Is it Gabby? It's gucky It's gaggy work? Yeah. If you're ready to take action and prevent hair loss, go to keeps dot com KEEPS dot com slash bald. To receive your first month of treatment for free. That's KEEPS dot com slash ball to get your first month free. Keeps dot com slash ball. And we're back. So let's go back to the train train station. We went to the mall for a meeting with our manager. We did and our agents, and we had to get Uber. So, of course, as our agents and and managers leaving their seventy five thousand dollar cars without offering us a ride. Valet? Yeah. Valet cars. We're we're at the engines of the mall calling Uber. I try to call Uber. It takes forty five minutes and it costs three hundred dollars, so Trixie calls one. It comes. As it approaches, she realizes that it's at the other end of the mall. So we hustled through the mall. I'm speed walking, and then we're like, She's like, oh, I really don't wanna miss Uber and neither do I. So we're galloping. And then once we exit the mall, she begins to sprint. Like, she is Florence Joiner or Jackie Florence Griffith or Jackie Joiner Kersey or forced, more accurate. Dumb. There you go. That's forced dumb. And there is and I'm like, okay. I happen to have sneakers on, although I was wearing very tight jeans. And I'm a heavy smoker, probably thirty cigarettes a day. And this she is gooning. She is rubber necking every like, twenty five beuning and baby. Booning just grinning. Like, are you still there? And I'm I'm I'm keeping earnestly trying to kissed Uber which I'm not trying to, like, show off. No. No. No. No. No. No. I was very aware of that. We were both in the same boat except my boat didn't have an engine. And what? Well, the thing is I did the marathon journey, but we've never run side by side by side. We've and our We've never exercised together. Never, Never. Never. We don't do that. So I'm running because to Uber -- Yeah. -- and I realized you're not with me. Yeah. And I'm looking over the shoulder -- Yeah. -- and the distance is growing. The distance is growing. Yeah. People look on your face is changing. Yeah. Yeah. I'm smiling. She is the grand mama, it was just like, It was like Yes. I have never been in a situation. Thing too, but I'm laughing and I can't breathe because I'm running, so I'm like, torn. I was like, I think this is funny, but I should really conserve my air because I don't have enough oxygen in my body. It was it was honey. It's a long time coming. Because it was it was my whole life had to sit next to this hundred and ten pound person on camera who can do a backflip and the splits, who can disappeared the clouds in narcotics for two years and come back with abs. And for once, I was good at somatic flu. Left me in the you guys could have seen the the the joy. And it was just I hate that you know what? We got cameras now. We got cameras all the time. We got only time we're ever together is on camera, and this is one of the two moments that I of. I really wish the the other moment that I'll talk to you about. So, well, anyways, We ran. We ran. We continue to run. Now, anybody can run. You can run from a killer. Sure. You run fast. But when you when you were talking about distance, we're talking about endurance, muscular, and cardiovascular endurance, distance Unless you run often, don't know if most people have a few minutes of sprinting in them. You know? I was not sprinting. I was I was running. You were probably jogging. And I my version of that is running. Most of taller than you. Taller people are faster than you do. And you just ran a marathon. But I'm trying to keep up. And would you say that was about half a mile? Are you kidding me a quarter of a mile? Maybe a quarter of a mile? Oh my god. That's funny because me and Courtney, what we did all of Ryan the other day, and then we walked to a restaurant. I was like, that was at least six miles. It was point eight miles. I was like, I was limping the next day. Because we did the whole of Runyon did the hard side, like the hard way, the whole thing. And then we walked all the way down to Melrose. Corey will get you together. Mama. Mama. Of course, you're a liar. Listen to this. She had barely a dooie glow. Was eighty five degrees. And we did all of Runyon and, like, card climbing. She had a dooie, like, misty glow to her beautiful glow older complexion, I was dropping buckets of perspiration the entire time into the lunch, flopping, flopping the whole time. And we decided that the next she's writing a book, the title of her next book is gonna be called when good things happen to perfect people. The Courtney ax direct cardiac experience. You just saw a video of her. She just had one of the hand mirrors, and she was in the back of a Katya, and she pulled her mask off, and she's touching up She's using a grand illusion lip gloss or Mac, which is a sheer frosty lip gloss. Mhmm. And she's putting it on and touching up and look at mirror. And I'm like, and it's like the camera angles mirror. I'm like, And it's like the camera angle's here. She still looks like -- Yeah. -- I know her Robert. I know. But you know what though? I'm that's why I'm grateful for vanity because together, When she's next to vanity, Courtney looks cute. But vanities are gorgeous. And Courtney and Courtney is at peace with that. And so is Vanda oh, bitch. Vanda loves it. She loves it. But it's true. Banda Nancy is almost like a house. She walk up to someone in a new shirt and be like, big Courtney fan. Yeah. Just check out Vanity. Yeah. If you look at things in perspective, if you like Courtney, you're gonna love Vanda, you know. Yeah. I mean, it's it's incredible because she is beautiful obviously, but then Vanda transcendent. I just got a bunch of new vanity wigs because she's doing all the hard fronts now, I think. I got two shots. She's two dollies, two genies, y'all can't take it, and two Bets. Bets Dollies and Genie as well. Okay. So okay. The mall, the other moment I wish was caught on camera was at the meeting greet. What we are talking about on on? No, we didn't. We didn't. What was it? Oh, you tweeted about it at least. Remember when we did the Milwaukee thing. Oh. So No. You need to tell them exactly what So we're gonna today with the we were gonna talk about gigs in general of the gigs. Every is coming, you know, the gigs are coming. Gigs. We're getting back to live entertaining, and my first live gig back was at Trixie bar. And it It was This is it in the world. Wisconsin on Wall Street. It was so fun. At top to bottom, the only unpleasant thing about it was just being an airplane. And that wasn't even that bad. Yeah. When I landed from the moment I landed to the moment I left, it was like the best, one of the best experiences of my entire life When I landed from the moment I landed to the moment I left, it was like the one of the best experiences of my entire life working. It was so fucking fun. I had to cancel I had to cut up a girl's credit card because she kept throwing it on the stage three times. I found one when I got home to. I found a credit card and I cut it up. I just had to cut I cut it right up and shredded it. Wow. People always trying to do the it's not it's not a brilliant original comedy move, drunk, to tip a drag queen your card. Drunk. It's not my responsibility to find you later and give it to you. No. But they're thinking, I wanna give you everything because I'm so wasted. It is not funny. And then two hours later, when they sober up, they're like, where's my job at kind? You know. So anyways, nothing to do with me. I'm at the Foot Locker, spending thousand dollars. Hello. That part. That part. Not That part. That was a it was a huge weekend be after wearing pride. We had you pre pride as a Sunday. By the way, Bar been opened since nineteen sixty eight. We had the biggest sales day on human record ever. He was buying drinks. Oh my god. It was just Everybody was so excited to be out again. Yeah. It was me and her honesty. It was so And the the place is beautiful. Like, I I it was the perfect reemergence, like, into if I had to go, like, perform in a theater, I'd probably have nervous breakdown. You know, with Uh-huh. -- this was just get up on stage. It's like, okay, do I remember how to do drag? Do I remember how to point and look in mouth and everything? And I got to pro my own song. And it was just Luges, was so it was just so fun I kept, like, screaming. I was like, this is so fun. I just couldn't handle it. People are so generous with the tips that Iron Horse hotel fucking turned the food of the iron horse? I didn't get another waffle. Best waffle ever had my life. You live, had two of them. I I ate it in three thirteen seconds -- Mhmm. -- and held it like a Dyson vacuum. And I I told the the host at the hotel was like, that waffle. Was the best thing I've ever in my whole life. She said, it's like, that's very sad. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Yeah. So it was so good. I got a got a golden bowl of starbursts at my studio, so I know good for you. Yeah. I wish you could call it or man to connoisseur. I mean, it was so it was so good, but the people so during the meeting great, which was again strange after a year and half if not, really knows social interaction with strangers. It was it was, like, being a sleeper agent. I was up there taking because I also don't. We don't really lip sync on like in bars don't we don't really lip synch on, like, in bars anymore. I haven't. Yeah. It's been I was, like, I remember this. Yeah. Oh, I used to do Yes. It was the moment in a long kiss goodnight when Gina Davis realized her she's chasing vegetables. She's like, I used to do this. That was me, but taking taking money from teenagers. I used to do this and I was doing used to do this. And I was doing get this party started Shirley Bassi version. In a gown and an up to feel like the only -- Yeah. -- cross dresser, dancing diva of Texas -- Yeah. -- ten dancing toes, baby sister, of drag. Yeah. The inventor of the modern drag pageantry system. Yeah. System. I I bet you stuff. Yeah. Then we get to meet and greet. There are the meet and Only fifty people love it. Fifty both ushered in individually, which is, you know, usually you are, like, in in some kind of crowded area that's noisy and you there's a line and, like, I've personally feel like I that energizes me because then I'm performed like I feel like I'm interacting not only with the person but also kind of giving a show. So it's Yes. -- it helps when you don't you feel kind of tired. It's like motivating. So this was a little bit different if people were ushered in individually. There's a woman that comes in about halfway through and she she's dressed kinda like me honestly, like black red and kinda slutty even cute. And she goes right to and she says, I love your style. And then she, like, kinda cranes her neck towards me. She says, and I love your attitude. It was so fucking funny. It was It took me out. It took people say that took me out. I got to help me out on the floor. I was actually R0FTL, whatever you call it. That's what I was doing. Yeah. And she she was so earnest. She goes, and I love your, your attitude, your She goes, and I love your your attitude, your attitude. I love she goes, I love your style. Yeah. And I love your attitude. It was the delivery. I wish I'm like, why? Why the fuck? I, if anything, could have been filmed that it was that because it was so it's so if anything could have been filmed that it was that because it was so it's so funny and so, like, it that is a great example of the kind of shenanigans that happened at multi girl meeting greet? Because sometimes, Mary, have you ever done a meeting greet with one or two other rude girls? Are you interested in one other one? Are you kidding? We're okay. Let's just address the situation, Let's just address the situation, mom. Yeah. You and I are very lucky enough to have fans on a different level than most drag queens. Yeah. And so when I'm in group situation, I feel awkward because they will beeline past six cross dressers. Step on them. Cry at my feet. Yeah. Step on them. And then and then say nothing to any of them. And then and then the the the feeling of those dry queens, their energy to me, the glaring eyes, the the contempt, the disgust, the indifference, is to burning a hole in this group. And then somebody we'll go, like, we'll make sure trix is on end. Yeah. Or or, like yeah. And I I offer, like, in those things, like, I tried to or they have a Trixie shirt, they'll try to get all them to sign it. Or they the other thing is, like, I don't know what's worse ignoring them all or then taking up all this time with me, and then trying to offer some kind of patronizing commentary attitude. Like, yeah, like, you guys are great too. So, well, mean, yeah, it's like, just go. Just go. Just go, Lisa. Just go. Uh-uh. Don't say that. It's it's really nothing. The group mean greeting are hard. And you know, it's very different because I've been with some girls where they they'll they'll take the picture, smiling. They love it. And some girls where any little thing is enough front to the fact that you said hide me and not them. It's it's very Have you ever been in situation where the other girl was asked to take the picture of you and the girl? Yeah. you have you ever do you remember? What? What? What? When we were when we were when we were working on our book, when we were on a phone call. Oh my god. Now let me tell a story, honey darling. Honey Well, this What about See the girls. See the girls. the girls. Okay. We're also added to you have to specify the time period. Because we're this to have this number. Can you tell the story? I'll let you talk. I need to tell people how this happened to me. We were being pitched a book, and we were talking about how we could sell copies. It'd be great. We can sell these. And I believe you said something along the lines of You know, I mean, she's like, Trixie people like you but caught you. really can sell books. No. That's it. That was the gist. But I wish we could remember the exact but I wish we could remember the exact verbiage. I don't remember what you said. Okay. But but the gist was basically, they were saying the the, you know, just in terms of, like, the risks of of making the New York Times best selling list or, you know, selling well you know, our impacts in our reach. He was like, you know, the both of you, it's great, but He said, like, individually, both of you really bring some of the table together. It's great, especially Katya. I mean, your fan base is just Luges. Which it is. It is. It is in is. And also, it was just I mean, it made you seem like a CHOPLIVA. Yeah. And it it's also fine, but to say it the way on a call was like It was so not that's what you say when the person's not in the room. It was very, like, it was not was tactless. It was a gag. It was a gag. And I think you You're not the type of person that you I didn't say anything. No. I think I was like, uh-huh. Uh-huh. Okay. Call is ending. poop. Did you hear what was just you hear what was just Yes. I was at call with Bob recently. We were on something and somebody said, Trixie, all right, we want to We were on something and somebody said, Trixie. Alright. We wanna talk about music. You're a musician. No offense, Bob, but Trixie is a musician. She's released music. Like, our accessible music. Yes. So to imply that I understand what you're saying, because I understand the instruments and I read it. Yeah. But, like, to insinuate that club music or wrapping or is not music? Yeah. Or is it Katya musician? Yeah. I was, like, call Bob the next thing. I was, like, did not bother you because that was kinda he was like, yeah. It bothered me, but it wasn't worth it to say anything. And I was like, because if I was you, I might have gathered that woman. Was it live? Yeah. Oh, okay. I might have gathered that woman. Yeah. Actually, horror. Yeah. Did you know me? You know me? I I you love to gather. I we were on remember, we were shooting Netflix here, but we were separate still. I would be shooting by myself in the electricity queue up and restart him or A, and I'd be like, yeah, I'd love to. Like, I mean, the the it was how do you speak of volumes without which is saying a few You're like, sure. I'll do that right now. I know. I know. I I know. mean, and then and then But I am so grateful for, and then you take it a step further, which I'm really grateful for, because I don't do I am so grateful for what and then you take it a step further, which I'm really grateful for because I I don't do this. You just say, if we're not done soon, I'm gonna kill myself. Yeah. Yeah. You just say, like, if we got it, okay. Like, you let them know that you're not really asking if we got it. You're telling them, we're moving on. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we got it. Yeah. Well, let's go. Yeah. And it's I mean, you have it. It's it's really nice that you do that. I mean, I just have one of those tones. It's a tactless declarative, but also in dragon. Whatever amount of me wants to hide when I'm feeling, is gone. When I'm in drag, there's something where I'm just like, yeah, it's it's no filter honey. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what it is. And also, Well, here's the thing, because we have to advocate for ourselves in so many more ways than the average talent does. You know what I mean? As we wear many hats, and some of them are wigs. Some of them are wigs and also we're wearing just the the act of being in drag is itself very uncomfortable. It's work to just sit there. Well, you and I let's take one more break. Okay. Let's take break. Hi, guys. This This edition of the podcast is brought to you by better of the podcast is brought to you by better help. If you are looking for an online therapy service that can change your life, better help is here to If you are looking for an online therapy service that can change your life, better help is here to do. Just that I know from my experience, the less I talk about something and the more I try to ignore it, the more it becomes a thing it's just that. I know from my experience, the less I talk about something, the more I try to ignore it, the more it becomes a thing. It's ironic. It's like, I don't want to make it a It's like, I don't wanna make it a thing and the more you just put it off, it becomes a thing. Betterhelp will help you assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist. Connect in a safe and private online environment. It is a very convenient, better It is very convenient. help. 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Just go to the bald and the beautiful dot supercast dot tech, and you can get a one week preview of the ad free version for free. You'll get ad free listening to show, you can listen on almost any podcasting app and you'll be supporting our show too. Just go to the bald and the beautiful dot supercast dot tech or click the link in the episode description. Thanks. And we're back. my bangs. Hold on. That's what sometimes I'm like, have we done a good job tricking people into thinking we're celebrities? Because in reality, We don't have lives like anyone I know that's famous. I certainly don't. I live a very meager, humble, little apartment. In Hollywood. I would I'm not gonna say meager. I've lived, like, more modestly before, but and I also rent a studio. But, like, I'm not I mean, I'm balling in the sense that I don't cook any meals. I have all pro professionally prepared by Yeah. I'm balling in that I can call an Uber. And when it's on Serge, I still call it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If that's balling? Yeah. For me I mean, I'm balling in that, like, I eat every meal out almost. That's balling to me. But it's not Does ever make you think that you're wasting money, though? Of course, I am. started getting Instacart Oh. During pandemic and I never stopped because I was like the amount of money on Postmates for during pandemic, and I never stopped because I was like, the amount of money on Postmates for years. Can't do it anymore. Oh, Trixie, I keep Grubhub afloat personally. You You are the grub. Yeah. I'm the hub in the grub. I'm the grub. We're hub. Yeah. You're the hub hobby. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But so but it doesn't matter because it's As long as I sleep, water, food, as long as those are taken care of, we'll work on the fine tuning later. And bangs. Yeah. Well, Yeah. How's your How's your eyebrow journey? The eyebrow journey is tough because if I'm gonna do drag, I have to shave half of them off. That's just a thing. I can we can we be a translucent? Transparent? Well, translucent means the light shines through. Yeah. We let the light shine through on this situation, mama. I wish you would. The psychological shield is in the line. Let's index the windows. As you know, I'm becoming a DJ. And I've been downloading a lot of EDM tracks for my library because I read on the Internet that a DJ a DJ has to have songs for every type of event. Yeah. So I downloaded the EDM version of Jolene from the movie Dumplin. Okay. And I watched the music video, and I saw you. Oh, no. I saw you in the tire swing. I saw you in the tire swing in an outfit that I believe belongs to a different character of yours. Trish? Trish. I believe you're in different And and I believe you were covering your brows and drawing them on completely at the time. It was a Mary Dugan. It was a Mary Dugan. It was a tarbles. It looked like a Snapchat filter. It's bad. It looks like there's two black worms. Oh, it was so bad. And this is coming through. There's no demand made lot eyebrow mistakes in my life. I I make I have made and I continue to make many mistakes in the beauty realm. But I watched and went that's why she uses her real eyebrows. Well, guess what? The gag also is the first show, so I shaved him off completely once and then went to perform live and realized. Ebrows actually serve a quite useful purpose of blocking, stripping sweat from the forehead from entering the eyeball. And and disintegrating the lash Luges. also liquefying the eye shadow on its journey down towards the chin. Yes. So when I was that lash is wet. It's NonFlushable. That you can that. Fifteen minutes into the show, I had black glitter tears droopy lashes and was completely on the verge of a nervous breakdown. So I was like, oh, never be that night. Okay. Yeah. I don't wanna talk about any further than that. So it was a big time lesson learned. And I was like and I've shaved them off. III never shaved them off before. It was the first time completely. was like, okay, naked mole rat cancer patient. Here we go. was ready to do it. Ready to Ready to commit. And then was like, fuck. It's NonFlushable. was so bad. It was literally pouring into the inner part of my eyeballs, pulling in my eyes, glitter and eye shadowing, sting, horrible, hurts, everything. Yeah. Got it. And I wasn't I came off stage for the fur after the first section and realized, Oh god. There's nothing we can do in time to fix this. You just had to go on. It was rock. She's gonna leave the running makeup on face. Yep. Luckily, Trish was next. You mean Joey. Joey. Joey. Joey was next. So with your speaking, we're going back to gigs things are coming back to sort of whatever the new normal. Back to me. Yeah. The Trixon returned to you. Returning to me. The Trixon Mattel story. I want you to just I want you to describe to me your ultimate dream gig. We're talking theaters. We're talking bars, we're talking your ultimate theatrical presentation of your Dunkin' bars. We're talking your ultimate theatrical presentation of your talent I wanna talk how where is it? How many people? What's it like? Just put them under the whole thing. To be honest, when grown up is going on, which we still have two more American dates, LA date only has ninety tickets left. If you're in LA, get the ticket sold out. Get the tickets paid to get the tickets. Get the tickets. Get the tickets. Get the shoes. Wait. Actually, get the shoes. Yeah. Get the shoes, maybe get the shoes. Rochester, New York. Rudy Spears was cloned. Oh my god. Magic Society. T. What's on the other one? Teguestela, stay clear as fuck. Look at the leg muscle. Everybody can and also look at the Gucci track suit. The Gucci. Oh, yeah. Dirty the socks. Oh my god. Yeah. That's a shadow. That's a shadow. Okay. To answer your To answer your question, my ideal gig starts Okay. It is an air conditioned SUV. Yeah. And as a driver -- Yeah. -- who's nice to me? It doesn't talk to me that much. Well, actually, you know, and those are though, usually when you book a service, a car service that is, you know, of a higher level in price point than in Uber, of course. You have preferences that you're able to to indicate, like, temperature preference, cool, warm, whatever. Yeah. Conversation, quiet, whatever. yada. If I request conversation, will they talk to me? Do they have to talk to me? I'm sure that they will see that they in my experience, they will tailor the they will get all the relevant information to tailor the experience to your absolute pleasure. So when grown up is going on, there's this opening number called we got the look -- Mhmm. -- from Barbara. It's like 15 minutes It's, like, fifteen minutes long. There's vamps with the band playing under me while I tell these jokes. There's, like, five costume pieces. I'm ripping them off and tossing us while I'm telling jokes. I have never felt cooler, more famous, which are beautiful. Yeah. When the show's been going fifteen minutes, and I'm on costume number five. Yeah. That is lit. She's making money moves. That's the ideal gig, and then I leave. It's just one number. The rest of the show, I put on the movie the country bears, the blu ray, and everyone loves it, Nolly. How many people are watching? And where is it taking place with Citi? It's about fifteen hundred people are there. Okay. And it's small venue with Turds, so it feels big, but everyone could see me good. Okay. It's probably in Los Angeles or Chicago or Klondike. Okay. London people like reality? They yeah. They Turds they turned Yeah. I was, like, performing in London, the air conditioning, an issue. I don't think even I was at Senespia the night. Senespia the other night with our managers. Yeah. And my assistant have a discussion? I said Was there Build the room. Yeah. Build the room. Build the room. This is some air conditioning. Yeah. Yeah. We we're not less -- Yeah. -- this. I said now that we now that you guys have to let me feel this, it can never not happy like this. Yeah. Once you taste the sweet nectar of the gods, it didn't go back. I mean, it's true. It's like once you slept on a Casper or whatever, you know, you can't go back to the nail bed. It's like, I don't know. And I think I was talking about it. I think I finally talked about it to our manager company. was like, since we've been doing this for eighty four years. It's been eighty four years of pain and suffering. Yeah. And It has to change. The temperature has gotten to change. We were on set the other day and there was no air conditioning all day. Yeah. All day. And I had just come from our I I think two days before that, I had filmed with Tammy Brown at PG, the studio's there? Ninety degrees in Burbank. No air conditioning unit at all. Not one air conditioning unit at all. There's no. Not I'm I'm you know when people say there's no AC, they mean there's, like, not powerful AC, I'm talking. There was none in between there was none. In between takes, they had to blast three fans at me in order to keep me from taking all of the knives from kitchen and shoving them into my neck or taking the front off the fan unit, the window unit, and use and using as weapon and chopping someone to pieces. Yeah. I had a prop crowbar and a prop crowbar that I just wished that was real, so I could just beat myself to death with it. My ideal gig is a two and a half minute number in the freezer at all in theory. Yes. Guides. Let me tell you and tell you what I'm me let me tell you what? I'm doing just the rest at the beginning of McArthur Park. Yeah. And when she gets to I leave. When the music starts, and I'm gone. This is my levituck. I'm gonna walk you through my my like, ideal gig. So it is on a Sunday. It's at five PM -- Mhmm. -- t dance, t's. Okay? And I get ready I get ready in my own in my own house, whatever. Then I am picked up literally by a couple of men. Who are wearing these suits that are, like, literally have, like, gel, frozen gel in them. So their bodies are absolutely freezing. To the top. It's just a it's mister Freese. It's a It's a real smart nigga. And mister mister Freese. Mister and Mrs. Freese, he runs to your hotel. Everybody goes, with us come early this year. You know, it's John Snow from Game of Thrones. You know what I'm saying? Oh, a Sean Snow, the White Walkers, mister Freeze. Yeah. And who else is a a frosty the snowman? The bear from the Klondike bar. Perfect. Yeah. Okay. And I am let you know, brought to the stage where it is I all the first thing I see are are those inuits oh, no. People are just Like, they're dressed. Like, it's the dead of winter, and I I know -- Yeah. -- I'm home. I go, that's a sickening blue lip. I realize. Hypothermia. Yeah. Hypothermiastricken front row is Jack from Titanic. He's on the front of the stage like this. Right. Rose is the stage manager. You had to think about Molly Drive doing lights, mama. And Sino Man. The DJ is is the DJ's brand refrigerator and then the security is Austin Powers. Frozen. then Jabber Lisa was cryo. Yeah. Jabber Lisa is cryo. Cryo to the gig. But it's a runway. So it's a fierce runway walk with fans at every angle blowing my hair in fringe. Fans is just a runway walk. I do it one minute of a lip sync in with those, like, you know, those have those, like, the the shooting air thing. Yeah. It's like a certain party. Yeah. It's frozen air. Frozen air with a little bit of, like, citrus vinaigrette scent or something. Oud. Oud. A little bit of Oud. Yeah. Oud Bergemont. And then I'm out. I slide right into the water like, a water country. Lady of the lake. Yeah. Back into LA Llorona Back into La Verona territory. You you walk into the lady of the lake and it's basically almost frozen except one runway. Through the ice. And it's just an ice luge. My home performance is just an ice luge. It's a winter but it's not just frozen. It's with dawn. And so when you come out, you're out of Trixie. And as you come out of the water, someone hands you a lip cigarette. Bag of those in a bag of those crunchy cookies. Oh my god. Bag of those crunchy cookies. Oh my god. We crack code. We crack the code. We're hanging out. P g, Mary. We have to call him. Yeah. We have to call him. We have to call him wish my friend to call them. Hold on. If you have any other frozen characters that are, they can also be invited to the gig, please, Elsa, you have any other Frozen characters that are they can also be invited to the gig, please Elsa. Elsa. Oh, Elsa. But she's not doing much though because I and she's kind of annoying. Elsa is a shot girl. Elsa is a shot girl. With the ticket girl, the counter. I just want you know what? It makes me think of I fantasize about doing numbers and bars, and then in Wisconsin winter, stepping outside and getting cooled down in four seconds. Oh, it is well, I'm telling you, my dream gig was Aspen's Ghesky Week. I did twice two years in a row. The first stop. They just stopped VH1 just stopped doing it. It was logo, actually. It was logo. So I think the transition each one. But does Aspen still have a gay skiing? Yeah. We should go. No. Because you don't wanna go. A, I hate skiing, b, I don't like rich people. The the the the it's very, you know, but the it's the scenery picture is so beautiful. It's so beautiful. The gig Uh-huh. Pete, but they're not really rich, are they? Because doesn't isn't it real money what is it? Real money goes to veil or No. Real money What is it? Brandon? What is what is it? Wealth screams? Money screamed, but wealth whispers. Is that what it is? Well, it's it's Whereas, like, people people who are, like, new rich or a little bit rich or obnoxious as I'm sitting here in the sofa, but I know as with a picture with a picture of herself paying above her. I'm a get the picture picture. My pride my pride money and spent on this outfit. No. It'd be good for the tour bus. I think you should buy whatever you want do. It's It's yours. I'm not gelling. How many tattoos were those donations and also mama at $9,000 Gucci tattoos. What are those donations? And also, mama, nine thousand dollar Gucci suit I bought, synthetic hair. And how very Yeah. As I'm sitting here with my twenty six thousand dollar teeth, if you think does it up at the issue? Well, teeth You lost me a long time ago. Mom, these are Oliver Peoples. Let me get a vampire facial to go with my Oliver Peoples. Oliver her Peoples. All over her people. Yeah. What's your idea I guess that's your idea. That's my ideal gig. You just literally just rang my bell. You rang my bell. That was I I mean, I can't imagine a scenario that's more pleasurable than that. An ice Luges into a dawn pool. Oh, so it's like it's been an episode from ice age. Yeah. Yeah. It's it from ice age, a willy mammoth. Oh, yeah. And then what's the one It's a willy mammoth. It's a lot of hair. There's Turds. Narnia. The queen from Narnia. Oh. The ice lady from yeah. Isn't there, like, ice and arnie? I'll turn it. Charlize Darren? No. Tilda. Swinton, Tilda, Swinton? Tilda Swinton. And Tilda. just went in -- Yeah. -- as an ice princess. Yeah. Yes. She's like, you know, also invited ever since her Turds. He's been in ice sculptures. sculptures on my way to my private jet, which is also made out of cold pops. You know what else too? While you're doing your number, Cesarhead is doing the sculpture, and snow is raining down on it. Oh, no. But I don't like that because it's gonna get me all wet. What's the number? It's oh, it's breathe on me by Brittany Spears. Oh. I'm doing I'm in I'm in earmuffs -- Yeah. -- high ponytail, ski goggles in the hair. Uh-huh. I'm doing that Donna Vertell Donna donna my house. My rules. My pleasure. You know that's on? No. Mary. You play it? Yeah. Mary, my house, my rules, my pressure. My pressure. Oh, my house Dial out Luges. But a lot of her time has seen her seventy three questions. So funny. Well, there's this guy that does seven questions that edits those ones. Hers is so funny. They're all so funny. I watched What is it? Twenty three questions? Seventy, seventy three. I watched the seventy three questions that Anna Wentworth, and she said that the biggest fashion faux pas is all black head toe. Oh to toe. Yeah. Head to toe back. Yeah. But I thought that's what like chic people did. Nope. She's all about color. She would never wear head to toe black, and she also hates the word journey. In reference to fashion. That I can I've watched that I've watched her seventy three questions, like twenty five times. So seventy three times twenty five. Is this like when you watch the old guard? Like, it was series? I know. I I wanted it to be a series so I made it into one. You know it's weird? What? I've started to think this is your hair from looking at you this long. Well, Luges. Andrew keeps saying I should get plugs. Keep using keys. It works. No. Andrew says I should get Luges. And I'm like, Mary, there ain't no hero up there. Get plugged what from what? Thank you. Plug both wires. That ball head, girl, plug what year are you gonna pull plug what? Thank you. You can just watch the aggressive patch on my lower back and add it on top of my head. Meanwhile, Andrew Yang literally has not not the presidential word, male candidate. But he has he just got highlights a cut, literally. He looks like countess Luanne. It is a it is confrontational. Somebody literally said to him They saw him over the weekend and then texted him later on. It was so great to see you this it was so great to see you in your hair this weekend. He's like, somebody's like, my hair more than like, why don't you go fuck yourself? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Orville Pac drove by my house and screamed, I balled out the window. I don't like that. Our fans. Yeah. I don't like I tweet. Good morning. Faggy balls. Fat old, Faggy balls fucker. I know you aging cracky, fuck face. Hi, old fat, faggy, bald piece of shit. Can you just happy worth it to Sarah. Can I find dominoes? So you and I have a lot on our plate. We're we're about to I have to film the motel show in a second here. No. Let's see. There's a lot on the plate, and your plate is considerably larger than mine. Thank God. Yeah. Yeah. You got it. Oh, we're about to film 64 shoot We're about to film sixty four shoot days. But Actually, let me let me tell you what we're embroiled in currently. We're doing this. Also, we are we are doing a a writing venture together separate then the new book which we're also doing -- Uh-huh. -- and then you're filming a motel renovation series by yourself, and then we're gearing up for a dating show with the right we're both doing. And then, you're completing tour dates that were postponed from last year and then we're embarking on a world tour that was postponed from last year and then I'm going to kill myself. Yeah. It's gonna be anything I miss? No. Album, your workouts. Oh, yeah. I have another record coming out work. It's called ten songs in. It's called the pink album. The pink album. I don't think I've told anyone. I might as well find here. Yeah. to tell the pink album. Are you are you pinging to, like, do you like, you know, reveals and teasers and stuff? Do you like you, like, get that stuff? Like like, I should I instead of telling it on this podcast, it should have been, like, a twenty fifth twenty five day rollout. That's what I'm talking about. Like, And then secret project or pixels on your Instagram that each day, like, after three months reveal to a picture that's, like, And it's on track. And it's no. But it's just announcement coming soon. Well, that's just nice of us being independent musical artists because don't sell yourself short. Number one electronic album. Oh, I and I love it. I love the album. I still love it. I I'm so proud of it. I mean -- Three mixes lived. Fuck. I put in my DJ I put Long in my DJ mixes. It's fucking lit. Markaholic turned my pussy out. I love her. She is An icon. Mark Hall, like if you guys are on a music producer, did Kitty Girl. She's the main mother. Yeah. Dave Long remains the only mother, Mary. He also did the triple a Turds, AAAN So He's such a sweet, nice, lovely guy with a great little apartment. I'd fucking He's so gorgeous. Suck him. Okay. He suck his dick. When people are hot and nice, On one hand, I'm like, hot and nice and talented. On on one hand, I'm like, oh, hot guys, they're never that nice. I wish them, why don't they just treat me like an old person? And then when they're hot, they talk to him, like, Don't talk to me unless you're gonna fuck me. You know what I mean? I just have like no middle. There's no chill. There's no chill. I'm big fan of trixie, really? How big. How big? How big? Show me an inch is in my ass. Yeah. Hard. I need to just shove a pool thermometer at my ass so that little duck is poking out. You know, that little duck right in this shitter. I wanted to pop that duck right in this little pool. Fuck my ass. Oh my god. Well, we're about to embark on that. Let's get people little teaser. What are you looking for in love? Oh my god. I'm looking for romantic satisfaction on every level. I have closed the door in the spiritual realm, so I'm I'm imploring note, divination, people who practice divination, terror card. No. Do you know what I'm talking you know what I'm talking about? I can't believe that. It's so crazy. It's so insane. I feel like, oh my dang, sir. I'm never I feel like it's I can't even get on that road. She is nuts. This hair with your your body and and age is giving me aging twinket pride. Oh, it is like I should be wearing an Ed Hardy shirt entirely. Yeah. Maybe an eyebrow ring? Late in life. Eyebrow eyebrow ring? It is actually the hair. The color. What what do you remember the tiger king sagging eyebrow ring? That's it. That's the one that was. Yeah. And I have some faded prison tattoos. And I should doom. When you watched a straight porn dude, the guy went to make one under the, with minimal When you watched the Straightforward, do you like the guy with the big one or the guy with the middle one? And he said, the big one. And I said, okay. I can work with Matt. Where's the Emmy? Where's the Oscar? We heard my I heard my madonna. It's incredible. I was like, whoa. Is the artist madonna here now in the studio? It makes sense that dialects come so natural to me. It does. Because he's so well traveled. Order. You've been in order you've ever had a glass of water and gone home? Depends at Delaware County Herm. I I had to go home. We gotta gotta go home. I gotta it. I need a glass of I need a of water. I gotta wash my clothes. Oh, yes. It's Baltimore. Yeah. Baltimore. Connie and Raimie Norbals -- Yeah. -- the Philadelphia's PayPal a lot. Merrivi's town. Kate Katya Incredible. The mayor? No. The mayor of East Town and Downtown Appy. Downtown that it was the downtown Abby mayor of East Town crossover. We didn't know we needed to go home. It was the Yes. The mayor of East Town downtown Abby Yeah. As as a sex in the city? Sex with sex in the city. Sex with the city. I've had sex with the city. Sex in the shit. Oh my god. Oh, wow. Well Fuck. I mean, I subscribe here because we have subscribed to pod. We have new episodes every week and next week, you'll never believe who we have on the pod because we haven't booked them We have new episodes every week. Yeah. And next week, you'll never believe who we have on the pod because we haven't booked them yet. Bye. Switching to GEICO is a good idea, a when you consider everything. First off, GEICO makes it easy to switch. They have licensed agents available twenty four seven online or over the phone. But if it's so easy. You might start thinking everything is easy. Even big wave surfing, and it's not. It's actually quite difficult. Well, if you switch to GEICO, you could save hundreds on car insurance. And you could keep saving by bundling your motorcycle, boat, and RV plus your home or renters insurance. But saving money might lead you to make some questionable purchases, like a twenty foot feather boa. And do you know how hard it is to clean twenty foot feather boa? 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