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Welcome the car, Talk on National Public

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Radio with us, click clack the tablet

0:38

brothers and we're broadcasting this week from

0:40

the Center for Political Opportunism here a

0:43

cart.plaza Now we're not here to criticize

0:45

anyone for political opportunism. We had a

0:47

participate in some gop is why not

0:49

eat or get this My brother has

0:51

decided something avoid in the field. That.

0:54

He will offer his services as the

0:56

Republican nominee for president. That's right. I

0:58

realize this is unusual because I'm not

1:00

a republican what are you on when

1:03

you return But since no one seems

1:05

to be happy with any of the

1:07

choices that they currently have a presidential

1:09

nominee and sensing as I have the

1:12

opportunity for what paying job. Right? But

1:14

I am offering. Myself as are right

1:16

in candidate for the nomination in the

1:18

remaining primary states wherever they may be,

1:20

you have a platform Right Now is

1:22

my real high. Level

1:25

positions that a platform of positions

1:28

you're running on your side. Though

1:30

my campaign is based on one

1:32

single issue let me guess that

1:34

right to not work know thirty

1:36

five mile on would off model

1:39

of not hope if elected. I.

1:43

Will mandate. Eight. Thirty

1:45

five mile an hour speed limit in

1:47

every state. Except. Montana.

1:50

Really? In Montana it's going to be twenty four. Not

1:54

only will not get this, not only

1:57

will the save lives, but it will

1:59

significantly reduced travel. You

2:01

a taste we get the Cleveland. Are you

2:03

going to golf course? Not even to say

2:05

all the time saved by this reduction in

2:08

business travel alone. Would. Increase American business

2:10

productivity by two hundred and twelve percent

2:12

according to my tell to a hot

2:14

and on that the consumer side. All.

2:17

The money saved on. Gasoline will increase

2:19

personal say the house which will

2:21

more interest grass and returned. Reduce

2:23

the national debt same sources your

2:25

him out here and reduce the

2:28

entrance fees. Yellowstone As an assistant,

2:30

it's obvious that you really thought

2:32

this through because I thought it

2:34

through. This book says that would

2:36

be less interest. They travel. Got.

2:38

Our other and M get the drift. The

2:40

Americans will be happier because it will be

2:43

fewer visits from Bomb. As

2:46

as as just another the men's

2:48

side benefits. People don't realize how

2:50

many benefits there are to the thirty by my

2:52

when I was bulimic, While there must be a

2:54

downside and I mean you're not too good to

2:56

be true, Well, I'm glad you else

2:59

that because there is one downside, but

3:01

I already have come up with the

3:03

solution to with that because it only

3:05

so much less travel. People. Are going

3:07

to be home. More. Of the time,

3:09

right? Yeah, I guess. are you So in

3:11

addition to the thirty five mile an hour

3:13

speed limit, there's one more plank as they

3:15

call it. Is that what they called plague

3:17

and my plants answers were org. What's that?

3:19

Telephone solicitations are punishable by life. And for

3:21

a sign me up and. So

3:25

if you're if you're living in a

3:27

state with as a primary just watched

3:29

him. Click/class

3:32

can't. Because.

3:34

We don't know which of us is running. Will.

3:36

Run as a. Brother. Brother T V

3:39

Golf father son see I don't want

3:41

to run with your success that go

3:43

on know you're a work on math.

3:46

What does a provision for running a

3:48

deal would and supreme of a difference.

3:52

Anyway if you want to call us when the

3:54

question about your car or anything else or at

3:57

planks the my brother's platform the i need of

3:59

our phone numbers. 800-332-9287. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi,

4:04

this is Liesl from Wheaton, Illinois. Whoa! Liesl,

4:07

Liesl D's. Liesl. Liesl, rhymes

4:10

with Diesel. You spell it

4:12

the same way? It's L-I-E-S-L.

4:15

No other E's. Now I've pronounced

4:17

that Liesl. That meant

4:19

it rhymed with Weasel. Well,

4:22

we've authorized it Diesel. Liesl is

4:24

good. So

4:26

anyway, Liesl D's, what's on your mind? I

4:29

have an 89 Honda Civic station

4:31

wagon that won't start. It's

4:33

got about 115,000 miles on it. And

4:37

my husband is the automotive person in the

4:39

family. And I'm the idiot. But

4:41

he had a lot of... At least that's what you

4:43

make him think, right? That's right. You got

4:45

it all figured out. That's right. Well, he went to the library

4:47

to look up what to do with the car. And

4:50

I called you guys. Ha ha ha.

4:52

Yeah, see? And he thinks that you're

4:54

the idiot. That's right. Well, it's turning

4:56

over, but it won't start. And

4:58

I started the car for him. And

5:00

he looked under the hood, and there's

5:02

no spark. So he says it's probably

5:04

an electrical thing. Could be something like

5:06

the distributor. And the

5:09

only precursor we have to this

5:11

is that he changed the oil the other

5:13

day and didn't change the oil filter. But then

5:16

we didn't use the car for a couple of

5:18

days. And when he went to start

5:20

it, it wouldn't start. So he checked

5:22

under the hood. The oil looked a little high. So he

5:24

drained a little bit out and got

5:26

it back down to the proper level. But now it

5:28

won't start. And we're moving on Saturday, and we really

5:30

need our car. To move. Right.

5:33

Yeah. Hmm. Ha ha ha ha.

5:36

So you're moving next Saturday. You need the

5:38

car. Right. Well, and we haven't

5:40

taken it in yet, because of course it has to be towed

5:42

to get into the shop to

5:44

see what's wrong with it. Well, I mean,

5:46

there are... I can think of some awful things that

5:48

it could be. Okay. Would

5:51

you like the worst of the things that it could be? Give

5:53

it to me. We're buying a house. What can be worse than

5:55

mortgage payment? You're going to be buying a car, too. Ha ha

5:57

ha. Okay. The worst thing... miles

6:00

or this car? It's not 115,000. 115,000. Like you said that, I already wrote it down. I

6:05

wrote it down too. Okay. I would assume

6:07

that at some point in the recent past

6:09

you changed the timing belt, but maybe you

6:12

didn't. Maybe you were too busy out hooking

6:14

and hosing. Right. Now I don't know if

6:16

we did that or not. Well, if you

6:18

didn't, it's very possible that the oil change

6:20

of course had nothing to do with anything.

6:22

We know that. It's very possible that the

6:24

timing belt is broken. Okay. And that's

6:26

the reason it won't start because even though the

6:29

pistons are going up and down, the valves aren't

6:31

opening and closing. And that's why you have no

6:33

spark because the timing belt drives

6:36

the camshaft, which drives the distributor on

6:38

this car. Let's not even consider that

6:40

possibility. Let's consider it. I think we

6:42

have to give the strong consideration because

6:44

I just have an intuitive feel that

6:46

this is what it is. But wait

6:48

a minute. But, but, but, but, but,

6:50

but, but not all of this happened.

6:52

You have the moving truck, tow the

6:54

car over there. Happened sitting in the

6:56

driveway? Yes. Why not? It's in the

6:59

garage. By the garage. Yeah, better yet.

7:01

Um, of course it, of course it could happen

7:04

anytime. It could happen anytime. If the timing

7:06

belt is broken, wouldn't we see that?

7:08

No, you wouldn't. The timing belt is

7:10

inside, housed. Okay. Yeah, that's

7:13

good. The house is good. The house is good. Yeah.

7:17

So you may be done for.

7:19

Now, here's, are you and

7:21

your husband willing to experiment a little bit with

7:24

this? Certainly. Okay. You have to remove the distributor

7:26

cap, which of this car is held on by

7:28

a couple of screws, which are inaccessible because the

7:30

battery's in the way. But once you

7:32

get, once you feel out, you will take those two little

7:34

screws out and remove the distributor cap.

7:36

That's the thing to which the spark plug

7:39

wires are attached. Then you just lift it

7:41

up out of the way. Then one of

7:44

you will turn the key. And the other

7:46

will notice if the rotor, the thing that's

7:48

attached to the shaft of this distributor is

7:50

turning. If it's not, if it

7:52

isn't, you're done. You're done for. Because

7:55

when the belt breaks of this car, you

7:58

bend the valves in most cases. Okay. So

8:00

in which case you're done for. Okay.

8:03

Well when you apply for the mortgage, did you

8:05

get a few extra thousand in case something else

8:07

happens to the house? That's right. You can apply

8:09

that to the car. Pretend that the car was

8:11

in the house at the time. Yeah, I would

8:13

think so. Yeah, I would think so. Now if

8:16

that isn't the case, if you're lucky

8:18

and the rotor is turning, then it's

8:20

probably what's called the igniter. Okay.

8:24

The igniter is the little electronic black

8:26

box which controls, which actually

8:28

manufactures in conjunction with the coils.

8:31

The spark. The spark.

8:33

Okay. So it could be the igniter.

8:35

Let's shoot for that. I would shoot for the igniter. If

8:37

it's the igniter, how would we know that?

8:40

Well, you wouldn't really know it. I mean, you could guess

8:43

if this other test is positive. Or you

8:45

could just fake it and make believe that

8:47

you didn't call us. Okay. And

8:49

say to your husband, Frank? Or is his name

8:51

Frankl? Dave. Dave,

8:55

I think it's the igniter. Okay. And

8:58

he'll go down to the little auto parts

9:00

store, buy an igniter, put

9:03

it in, and lo and behold the thing starts

9:05

and then he won't think you're an idiot about cars

9:07

anymore. He'll think I'm psychic and he'll love me for

9:09

the rest of my life. Exactly. I

9:11

think you're absolutely brilliant. Okay. But, you

9:14

know, I'm thinking you should really have a diesel. No

9:17

thanks. Not at this weather. Are there any other possibilities?

9:19

You don't want to know. Okay. They're

9:22

dead. They're dead. You didn't even want to

9:24

know about the timing belt one as a matter of

9:26

fact. I'll just remember igniter. Okay.

9:29

I'll pretend I only know about the igniter. Yeah. Go

9:31

for that. Yeah. Okay.

9:34

Go for that. That's cheaper. Good luck,

9:36

Liesl. Thank you very much. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

9:40

Thanks. We'll be right back

9:42

with the answer to the puzzler after these messages.

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11:16

right here we go. Come on your pets edge and now

11:18

I'm or I will. Do. Less which

11:20

puzzler know. We've. Been

11:22

milk. I've been using this one for outlet. I

11:24

don't have a sister that's. What

11:27

we've been using this for a few we or less

11:30

was would have a chance to really think about it

11:32

and come up with some really creative the answers. I

11:35

liked it said. We award pride to stay or

11:37

should we let it ride for another week or

11:39

com I'm sick of us are I will let

11:41

it ride. That's a success Here it is. Issue

11:43

is the pills, the puzzler and it's in it's

11:45

that is. It's of beauty and simplicity. of the

11:47

thousands of automotive terms in existence, We.

11:49

Ask you for pairs of words. Of.

11:52

Parts are systems have a car. Who's.

11:55

Secondary that has known automotive meetings

11:57

happened to be. synonyms

12:00

And the example we gave was tire

12:04

and exhaust. Got it? Yeah.

12:07

There are two parts of a car and their non-automotive meanings are synonymous.

12:10

We wanted to know how many good ones our listeners would

12:12

come up with and here's what

12:14

we've got so far. I'll just

12:16

read a couple and maybe later on we'll

12:18

read a couple of more. For example, bearing

12:22

and carriage. Oh.

12:24

Oh. I was

12:27

looking for a synonym for

12:29

bearing. Carriages. Carriages good. Excellent.

12:33

Cover and housing. Oh. They're

12:35

great. Who are these

12:37

from? These are from Ted

12:39

Blank from Portland, Oregon.

12:42

Yeah. You want

12:44

more? Yeah, sure. Shoe and boot.

12:48

Shoe and boot, yeah. That's good. Belt

12:50

and slap. That's good. Piston

12:52

slap. Shoe and clap.

12:54

Vent and exhaust.

12:58

Of course. And et cetera, et cetera.

13:01

There are more but that's all I have

13:03

for now. I like them. Very

13:06

good. That's good. Anyway.

13:09

Anyway what? We're going to let this go for

13:11

another week. So if you're lying awake at night this week and come

13:13

up with a few good ones, go ahead and

13:15

send them in. And of course you can lengthen

13:17

your list by using the ones

13:19

that we've already mentioned on the show today.

13:22

Pretend they were yours and so if you have a

13:24

few in addition to that, you can win the prize

13:26

because you can claim that those are yours and add

13:29

your new ones to that list and you'll have what?

13:31

The longest and best list and that will qualify as

13:33

the winner. Now going back a few weeks. Is the

13:35

winner going to be chosen on the basis of quantity

13:37

or quality? Yes. That's what

13:39

I thought. Yes, both. Thanks for clearing that

13:42

up. Now going back a few weeks, we had a puzzler

13:44

about three guys who were sharing a hotel room that cost

13:46

30 bucks. It was actually 25 and they got back three

13:48

so that was 27. We get through the bellhop that's 29.

13:50

We wanted to know where the extra dollar had gone, right?

13:53

Remember that? I remember that one. Sure I

13:55

did. And of course like many of our puzzles,

13:57

it was a trick question but we also invited our white brain to the

13:59

show. listeners to give us

14:02

non-linear creative solutions to

14:04

this little puzzle. And

14:07

we've had a chance to read through some of those and

14:09

give us the winners, Tommy. Okay, here's

14:11

one. This is a good one. The

14:14

clever porter walked eerily back to the

14:16

lobby, pleased with himself that

14:18

everyone had gained. But now

14:21

this is a right brain answer. The three men in

14:23

the room were happy to get money back. He had

14:25

two extra bucks. And the manager's

14:27

guilt at overcharging was assuaged. However,

14:30

as he entered the lobby, his glee gave way

14:32

to instant panic as he saw the manager waving

14:34

him over. Almost sure there was no

14:36

way the manager could know how he

14:39

had dispensed the money. He feigned his

14:41

most innocent face as he approached. Can

14:43

you believe that I overcharged the couple who

14:45

came in earlier as well, the manager groaned?

14:49

Take this five bucks to them. They're

14:51

in a $25 room too. Calmly

14:55

palming the $5, the porter turned on

14:57

his heel quickly to mask his relief.

15:00

But he was beginning to think the manager was not

15:02

very good at his numbers. How

15:04

did he expect him to split five $1 bills

15:08

between two people? I need two people in this

15:10

room. Yet, buoyed

15:12

by his last success, he thought to himself,

15:15

I'll give each of them $1 as well and

15:17

keep the other $3 for myself, which

15:20

he did. Now you

15:23

see, each of these two people paid $14 for

15:25

the room for a total of $28. The

15:29

$3 the porter put in his pocket makes

15:32

a total of $31, which is the

15:34

missing dollar from the other one. Perfect.

15:37

What could be better? And who's

15:39

that? Who's that? Oh, I didn't

15:41

mention that either. I

15:51

Didn't mention that either. Copy

16:00

the Lot Price: They would receive copies of

16:02

the Best of Car Talk which is available

16:04

on C D and cassettes. And. Know when

16:06

you order should depend on how much your kitchen

16:08

table wobbles. You know we've mentioned this before but

16:11

more importantly we have more calls coming up in

16:13

the same all puzzler. Yeah. But that's

16:15

all right because we have some great calls

16:17

coming up, I'm sure. in the meantime, if

16:19

you like, you can call us at one

16:21

eight hundred, Three, three to nine to eight

16:23

seven Hello, You're on Carter some know as

16:25

this. Is so weak, least in

16:27

Lansdale, Pennsylvania weekly one that's do

16:29

weekly. I should have been a

16:31

lawyer for the name like that.

16:33

Who wage slaves I get

16:36

is. Very

16:38

good. Abuse

16:40

the system that allows it

16:42

makes later. You're

16:45

right, that is a great name for a lawyer is.

16:47

That a great name I do to get

16:49

back to school which is a you are

16:51

from on Lansdale Pennsylvania so. What's up? So.

16:53

Well. My husband and

16:56

I have And Nineteen Eighty

16:58

Nine. Plymouth. Voyager, the

17:01

ubiquitous Chrysler Minivan, Yes,

17:03

we. Have about less than

17:05

eighty two thousand miles on

17:07

it and need a third.

17:09

What? We bought: a stick

17:12

shift. Was a mistake. Don't.

17:14

Know if they do or what I

17:16

told us, we never would have done

17:18

that. My husband and I are not

17:20

serial clutch killers. You.

17:22

Have driven cars with manual transmission

17:25

Would. You like house the list?

17:27

Yeah, I learned to drive in

17:29

late. Whatever. I was sixteen. My

17:32

father always had obscure cars on

17:34

a nineteen fifty three Studebaker champion.

17:39

Zito yards also

17:41

hum aha. Then I

17:43

had a Sixty Five Chevy. Which.

17:45

Was all because this is like in

17:47

the sixties. I had a Volkswagen Beetle.

17:50

Then. I moved into Austin Healey. Three.

17:52

Thousand The Big One Hundred Opal

17:55

G T for Ten years. What?

17:57

An interesting collection. i

18:00

have the nicest course had it then or

18:02

would you say that i think i think

18:04

i do you have it for nine months

18:07

yet if they had wiring i was afraid it was going to

18:09

go in the driveway when you get a right

18:11

so suffice it to say that you are

18:13

you when you presume your husband also has

18:15

a long history of driving manual shift well

18:17

we know that you do like you drive

18:19

aha now it could be the husband's fault

18:21

i act you know it's get to accept

18:23

he's always driven and g and

18:26

he's uh... had a head of

18:28

dot and will pick up truck that he bought you

18:31

at a hundred thousand miles and drove for

18:33

about another thirty and

18:35

then we told it somebody called so

18:38

i mean like we have between the

18:40

two of us never but a clutch

18:42

and any vehicle and

18:44

we think we're suffering from

18:46

petite clutch syndrome yeah

18:50

now what do we do nothing by

18:53

a ball well what each one of these clutches

18:55

is worn out to the point where it begins to slip

18:57

you will you cannot engage

18:59

reverse without a

19:01

grinding all terrible and it is

19:04

the point where you just say forget everyone's

19:06

bearing in utus ram it in the reverse

19:09

already you try you

19:11

try you run it through the to the gear clutch

19:13

it ends up failing because

19:15

it doesn't disengage right all

19:20

i suspect that different problem yeah

19:23

don't we yeah i suspect a

19:25

different problem well i suspect that

19:27

the clutch isn't disengaging because the

19:29

cable that disengages the clutch

19:31

is a cable that runs between the pedal

19:34

and the clutch fork may have

19:37

in fact stretched uh... when

19:39

the clutch is brand new it

19:41

may work alright but as it wears out you may not

19:44

you may not be able to get enough it

19:47

doesn't adjust correctly i'm but i'm not

19:49

mistaken it has a self-adjusting mechanism in

19:51

there right when this first happened at like

19:53

twenty five thousand miles we put it in

19:55

we were so naive and perky we go

19:57

in and we get we have our clutch

20:00

adjusted and they go you

20:02

can adjust that clutch right

20:04

you can't but it can adjust itself and

20:07

I I'm going to suggest

20:10

yes as wacko as it

20:12

may seem that you do not need a clutch

20:14

now but you may not

20:16

have needed the other two clutches either I

20:19

mean I can't believe break my

20:21

heart did

20:23

you go back to that I presume you went back to the

20:25

dealer for these clutches well we okay the first

20:28

clutch was the original clutch okay yeah

20:30

we had that replaced once

20:32

40,000 miles right now

20:34

we have nurse that

20:36

puppy for another year

20:38

because it's not like you said

20:41

it's not slipping nothing it's

20:43

only when you try to engage reverse so

20:47

we that we you know it's not doing

20:49

anything that a clutch would do when it

20:51

was really going bad except you can't get

20:53

it into gear yeah and

20:55

and when you bring it into

20:58

these mechanics they they replace the

21:00

clutch that's their solution to this

21:02

yes and I even

21:05

called the D the what do you

21:07

call it your area zone office yes

21:09

that's it yes well the zone I

21:11

may sound like a very nice person

21:13

but I can whip people around with

21:16

the best of them oh I could believe that

21:18

and so he would I asked him I

21:21

said he told us that it was a

21:23

wear part that you know that no one

21:25

else had this problem but I have found

21:27

others with the same problem there is no

21:29

fix yet he need a

21:31

new clutch and I said and who

21:33

do you report to he said he

21:35

was the ultimate authority is on

21:40

I want to do something about my hair

21:42

as long as I have you on the

21:44

phone it was better hair ultimate authority who

21:46

the army there was no one I could

21:48

go to over this person is always

21:50

somebody bigger yeah yeah

21:53

I wasn't he wasn't about to tell you who

21:55

it was that's right because then he'd

21:57

probably get in trouble for nothing here's what you do

22:00

Go to your local gas station. Yes. Have

22:03

them replace the cable and the

22:05

self-adjusting mechanism. Okay. Okay.

22:07

So go to the local gas

22:09

station or wherever you choose. Mm-hmm. Have

22:12

them replace the cable and the adjusting mechanism.

22:14

And then you'll find out, I believe, that

22:16

it's going to shift correctly. Aha.

22:18

When it does, you should go back with

22:20

the two slips for the previous two clutches

22:23

they replaced. Yes. And get your $1,400 back.

22:26

Yeah. Oh, that would be so

22:28

nice. And if you don't, you can say,

22:30

if I don't have this money, I

22:33

will sue weekly. Ha

22:35

ha ha ha. Very good.

22:39

Sew their butts off, Sue. Okay.

22:42

See you later. Thanks. Good luck. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

22:44

Be sure to stick around for more calls

22:46

and the new puzzler coming right up. This

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mintmobile.com/Switch. Hi,

24:57

we're back. It's

25:02

the Car Talk on National Public Radio

25:04

with us, the Conclaxa Tappert Brothers. And

25:07

we're here to discuss cars, car

25:09

repair, and a few notices from your

25:11

place of worship. Unfortunately,

25:13

the person who sent this

25:15

letter somehow got separated from

25:17

it. Here it is.

25:20

Bullet and bloopers. Believe it or

25:22

not, the following announcements actually appeared in various church

25:24

buildings. I'll just read you a few of Mike's

25:26

favorites here. Remember

25:28

in prayer the many who

25:31

are sick of our church and community. For

25:34

those of you who have children and don't know it,

25:36

we have a nursery downstairs. This

25:40

afternoon there will be a meeting in the south

25:43

and north ends of the church. Children

25:45

will be baptized at both ends. This

25:49

being Easter Sunday, which it almost is,

25:52

yes, this being Easter Sunday, we will

25:54

ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg

25:56

on the altar. And

25:58

the last two of us. favorite a bean

26:01

supper will be held on Tuesday evening in

26:03

the church hall music will

26:05

fall at

26:07

the evening service tonight the sermon topic will

26:10

be what is hell come

26:12

early and listen to our choir practice

26:14

okay okay is a deal we're gonna

26:21

give the puzzler one more time and I'm gonna

26:23

give some examples and we're gonna give people a

26:25

chance to participate in this we've gotten

26:27

some pretty good ones so far what's

26:30

the point let me restate in in as

26:32

brief a manner as possible I

26:35

won't take credit for this puzzler in fact

26:37

this was no I'm sure you wouldn't mouth

26:39

no no in fact when he suggested it

26:41

rather insisted that we use it yeah I

26:44

said jeez you think

26:46

it's kind of loud no no it would be great

26:48

yeah and I said well

26:53

okay if you insist you are the producer

26:55

and we are we've

26:57

never done anything you asked us to do before

26:59

so we'll do this we are contractually obligated to

27:01

at least humor you once in a while right

27:05

so I mean I would never everyone

27:07

knows that I would never have used a puzzler like

27:09

this no you know why there is

27:11

no chance for obfuscation in this puzzler no

27:14

this is much too direct for your

27:16

style it is I mean you say it you tell it you

27:18

then here's the rules is what you want to do there's

27:20

no little dark nights and trees

27:23

blowing in the wind and

27:25

shadows cast guys

27:28

wearing iguana boots you

27:31

know little details that obfuscate

27:33

and confuse yeah problem we

27:35

state this puzzler see they're gonna

27:38

work in as

27:40

we all know there are thousands

27:42

of automotive terms we're you know

27:44

words associated with automobiles car parts

27:46

car names car lingo all

27:49

such things what we're looking for

27:51

our pairs of car related words

27:53

whose secondary meanings happen to

27:55

be synonymous and the one we

27:57

gave one of the ones we gave was tire Exhaust

28:00

which I thought was perfect and here's some other ones.

28:02

I don't know if I gave these earlier I gave

28:04

I gave some earlier, but I don't remember which ones

28:07

I gave block

28:09

plug Dash

28:11

and Dart oh That's

28:15

good. Yeah, that's not bad. Not bad. I

28:18

got one bed bolt and dash

28:22

Bolt dash bolt it across the

28:24

street or yeah, so give me

28:26

a put a dad put a bolt of sugar on that Anyway,

28:30

you can send in your your your entries And

28:32

if we choose you was one of our winners

28:34

and you catch us We'll send you a copy

28:36

of the best of car talk on cassette or

28:38

CD which is now listed on the consumer reports

28:41

1996 list of audio products to avoid like She'd

28:45

like to call us the numbers one eight hundred three three

28:47

two nine two eight seven. Hello. You're on car talk This

28:50

is maximilian. Oh, of course million

28:54

We'll call you max for short. Where you

28:56

from max max. I'm from Valencia, California Yes

29:00

Well, I've been in the car business all

29:02

my life. That's why I like your talk

29:05

show and last Friday

29:07

the 13 I had a problem and

29:10

I can't get out of this

29:12

problem You know the

29:15

councilman they're standing in the driveway

29:17

waiting for customers. Uh-huh. They work

29:19

on the app system and I

29:22

saw one of my sales what system, you

29:25

know, they call it app system Oh

29:27

the next guy I have way the first

29:30

one that was one up right his customer.

29:32

Yeah, right, right They work on

29:34

Commission, of course, and

29:36

I see one of my salesmen at 5 o'clock

29:39

Go to his bike across the street ten

29:41

times and come back to the showroom change

29:43

his mind. I Say George,

29:45

what's the matter with you? say

29:48

max, it's 5 o'clock I Didn't

29:50

eat all day and

29:53

every time I go to the bike to go

29:55

to eat My mind tells

29:57

me I think a customer will

29:59

come and I I changed my mind. I

30:03

said, judge, I can't believe it. You

30:06

can't live this way. Why won't

30:08

you call me out to take

30:10

your turn and you won't lose anything? He said,

30:12

Max, can I go now? He

30:16

jumps into his bike. He

30:18

takes off like crazy. And

30:21

an old woman just bought a brand new

30:23

Camry driving by. Bang! He

30:25

hits a phone pump. My

30:29

God, what a lucky day.

30:31

I ran down to the

30:33

woman. I want to help my

30:35

salesman. The woman comes out of the

30:37

car. She looks at

30:39

the front bumper. She says, my

30:42

God, I just bought this car.

30:45

I said, well, ma'am, you could

30:47

have killed my salesman. She said, I

30:49

know, I know, I wasn't watching. She

30:51

was so honest. She said the salesman

30:53

didn't show me how to turn on

30:55

the air condition. I

30:57

was 100 degrees in Valencia. I'm

30:59

trying to find this air conditioner.

31:01

And bang! Now

31:04

she thought she hit him. I

31:07

know that he hit her.

31:10

So I relaxed. I relaxed.

31:13

I said, oh, thanks God. I said,

31:15

ma'am, you're so honest. I'll take

31:17

care of you. She said, you will? Yeah. I

31:20

said, I have a big body shop. I'll

31:22

put a new bumper and we'll forget about

31:24

the. I like your honesty that you said

31:26

that you weren't watching. So

31:29

I take her to the body shop and

31:32

I call Rick. I said, Rick, call Toyota. They'll

31:34

send you the same color bumper. Put four screws,

31:36

put the new bumper, and that's the end of

31:38

the story. So he calls Toyota

31:41

and they send him a bumper. And

31:43

the woman tells me, Max, can I

31:45

go across the street? There's Target. There's

31:47

Melvin Shopping Center. While he'll

31:49

fix my bumper, I said, great idea. Like

31:52

the bicycle, right? So

31:55

she goes across the street. The poor woman didn't

31:57

know that the body shop closes at 6. all

32:00

thirty she comes with twenty back

32:03

uh... she's

32:06

looking around no car the

32:08

body shop is close there's nobody i

32:10

got it i got it she buys a

32:12

new car from george you know i know

32:14

that they've been to the state of the story

32:17

i have a problem with the problem at

32:19

the end of the story they call me

32:21

from down the street you said max doesn't

32:23

all nice woman screaming at the york i have

32:25

dog i shall what dog i

32:27

didn't know she had a dog in the car i

32:30

think my keys i want to the body

32:32

shop i open this huge metal door you

32:34

know three doors at a time with the

32:37

chains and what do i

32:39

see they pushed thirty five cars behind

32:41

her car everything went in i go

32:43

to the back seat of the car

32:46

i see a cage with the

32:48

little snouts are he's

32:50

dead is

32:53

with his legs up started

32:56

sweating my house start

32:58

beating this stupid body man put the

33:00

car next to the paint booth everything

33:03

locked concrete roof in the body

33:05

shop hundred and ten degrees i

33:07

start sweating my house that beating a said that's

33:10

all i need now i

33:12

went to it i'm lucky i'm

33:14

working twenty years in valenci i know

33:16

everybody right away go to the phone

33:18

and i call a customer of mine

33:20

that has a pet store and i

33:22

think you know i have a big

33:24

problem i think that's what happened i

33:26

think that you just kiddish not to

33:28

invite body i said

33:30

that how did they kill it i think

33:33

that it might have been a bit about that that's

33:35

why i don't you know i like you

33:37

for a distance i'll give you a i

33:39

said joe you have to help me cell

33:41

help you he goes to his computer the

33:43

stock located is a max you

33:46

lucky to the snow when he

33:48

must in twenty months from here

33:50

in acton does a german breeder

33:53

name hans shows twelve snouts i

33:55

said really that i think the

33:57

car three hundred miles an hour i can this

34:00

breeder I put the Schnauzer on

34:02

his table and I say Hans,

34:04

you met my niece and miniature

34:06

Schnauzer like this one. He

34:10

looks at me he said

34:12

Max you're in the wrong place. I said what do

34:14

you mean they told me you have 12. He said

34:17

Max I do have 12 but those

34:19

12 that I have, they're champions, they're

34:22

pure bread. I bring

34:25

them from Germany. I have all

34:27

the certificate this miniature Schnauzer will cost

34:29

you from 15 to $2,000 apiece. I

34:32

said what?

34:34

1200 to 2000 I counted every pocket I had $375.

34:36

I say Hans I don't need a I don't need

34:47

a champion I don't need a pure

34:49

bread I want to replace this dead

34:51

one all I have his 375 please

34:54

help me. He said Max you don't

34:56

want to breed them. I said no

34:58

I want to replace this dead

35:00

one. He said wait a minute I have

35:02

something for you. He goes to his backyard

35:05

he comes with a miniature Schnauzer he

35:07

said Max you're lucky he's

35:10

a year old he's home trained

35:12

I love him I don't

35:14

have any certificate I'll give it to you as

35:16

is for 275. I said great.

35:19

No warranty? No no as

35:21

is. As is right. I give

35:24

him right away the 275 it was a salt and

35:27

pepper gray Schnauzer

35:30

he takes the dead one he puts him in a

35:32

box he takes the live one he

35:34

puts him in a cage I give

35:37

him the 275 and I drive

35:39

down to the dealership and the

35:41

woman is walking in the showroom

35:43

nervous I come I said thanks

35:45

God I couldn't believe what I found

35:47

the same dog I say honey here's

35:49

your keys here's your car outside let

35:51

me help you with all the stuff

35:53

you bought she said Max don't help

35:55

me I had it today she takes

35:57

the stuff she goes to the car

36:00

She looks from the front window,

36:03

she looks in again, she

36:05

turns right away to the other side of

36:07

the car, she looks and says inside the

36:09

car, she threw all the

36:11

stuff she has holding in her hand,

36:14

she comes to the showroom screaming, Max,

36:16

in German she screamed, this

36:18

is Nichtmein Hunt, that's not my

36:20

dog. I said what dog? I

36:23

said Max don't play games with me,

36:25

if you want get me my dog

36:27

right away, I'll call the police, you'll

36:30

have a big problem. I said Ma'am

36:32

I swear to God I don't know,

36:34

is this your car? He said Max,

36:37

when I drove by here I had

36:39

a dead dog in the car.

36:41

I said what dead dog? I said

36:44

Max where is my dog? I said I

36:46

have it. I said where? I said

36:49

Hans, how did you get to Hans? I

36:51

said well I thought they killed him

36:53

in my body shop. So

36:55

we went back to Hans, she

36:57

saw him sitting in a box, she said

37:00

Max you're lucky you have my dog. I

37:02

thought I'm dying, I didn't know if to laugh

37:04

or to cry. She

37:07

takes her dead dog and she wants to

37:09

take off. I said Ma'am I really apologize,

37:12

what happened? I said Max you're something

37:14

else, let me tell you, I

37:16

never had any children. This

37:18

dog is 17 years and 3

37:20

months old and this morning

37:22

I had to pick up my new Toyota. She

37:25

went to the bedroom to take the dog, he was

37:27

dead. So she went crazy, she

37:29

calls her sister and she tells him

37:31

I don't know what to do, Snoopy

37:33

died and I have to pick up

37:35

a new car. He's all my life.

37:37

So her sister says what do you

37:39

want? He's almost 18 years old, he's

37:41

blind. Tom came, thanks God you got

37:43

rid of him. He says it's easy

37:45

for you but that's all my life.

37:47

So he says well what do I

37:49

do? He says I'll tell you what

37:51

you do. If you come to 1000

37:53

North to pet hospital in 48 hours,

37:55

they'll freeze him and they'll stuff him

37:58

and it looks like a lie. and

38:00

you'll have him forever in your bedroom.

38:03

That's some dormitory, something like this.

38:06

So she took the talk and she

38:08

ran to pick up her car and

38:10

that's what happened. And she takes off

38:12

with the dead dog and

38:14

I'm sitting there with my live dog

38:16

trying to give him back to the

38:18

hands, the breeder. He had to

38:21

sign no refunds. And he said,

38:23

Max, I'm running a business,

38:25

you own this dog. I said, I don't need

38:27

this dog. Didn't you

38:29

see what happened? He said, Max, I don't

38:31

care, dead dog, no dead dog. I'm running a

38:33

business, it's your dog. I said,

38:35

okay, can I leave it in consignment?

38:38

He said, sure. I said, give me

38:40

half the money. I just want

38:42

him to go home. He said, Max, we'll see

38:44

what holidays are coming, see what I'll do. Guess

38:47

what? This Friday I get a

38:49

note from him that he wants $75 a week to

38:51

feed him. Now

38:54

I have a payment. All

38:56

because you were trying. Now I

38:58

have a payment. So what I

39:00

need help from you, if your

39:02

audience can find a real good

39:04

home for

39:07

this miniature Salton pepper Schnauzer,

39:12

I really appreciate it. He's

39:15

a good dog, he's a Yee-Maw, but no paperwork.

39:17

No paperwork, but house trained. House

39:20

trained. He's a good dog. He's not house

39:22

trained. He's house trained.

39:24

He's house trained. Okay,

39:27

I mean, this is a business we haven't

39:29

started yet. I mean, we've been matching up

39:31

people, but we've never matched up pets with

39:34

people. So we will do

39:36

that, absolutely. What I really wanted is to

39:38

give it to the old woman that

39:40

her dog passed away. And

39:42

I felt bad for her. Well, this is a good play with

39:45

the other one. It wouldn't be. Well,

39:48

it's not a joke if it was done. No, I

39:50

know it's a joke. You couldn't have made up a

39:52

story like this. It had to be true. I know

39:54

the story was true from the beginning, because you couldn't

39:56

have made it up. I

40:00

really want this dog to have a

40:03

good home because you know the whole

40:05

story is Is

40:07

sad in a way sure do we have a

40:10

name for this little schnauzer? I

40:12

have no problem giving him my name Yeah,

40:14

I was gonna say his name should be max max

40:17

is a name should be max. Okay, we'll

40:19

do it Yeah, I think so max is

40:21

it we're looking for a home for little

40:23

max. Okay, sir. Okay good talking to

40:25

you We're

40:32

gonna we're gonna find a home for Mac

40:34

anybody who first of all lives in California

40:36

would be nice So more than driving this

40:38

he ships he'll ship he'll ship. I'm afraid

40:40

of shipping the little schnauzer on a plane

40:42

You know what will happen in the luggage

40:44

compartment? Right feet up feet

40:46

up that that it Let

40:50

us know and we'll make a match up here.

40:53

Yes, we will Well, you've squandered

40:55

another perfectly good hour listening to car talk

40:57

our esteemed producer is Doug the subway fugitive

41:00

Not a slave to fashion punk and lips

41:02

Berman our associate producer indeed of

41:04

the college of auto music college is

41:06

Ken ed grimly Rogers our engineer and

41:08

assistant producer is Jennifer conifer ganafor lobe

41:11

and our technical advisor is John Bugsy

41:13

Sebastian Mr. Heights sweet cheeks free lunch

41:15

twinkle toes who live stoneth breath gigabyte

41:18

two gigabytes two gigabytes make that three

41:20

triple cheeseburgers Lawler our automotive

41:22

medical researcher is dr. Denton Fender. We're gonna talk

41:24

about Fender He isn't a squat Our

41:28

literary critics are earnest and Julio Hemingway our

41:30

jazz music coordinator is birth of the blues

41:32

I would director of new product repair is

41:34

Warren T my foot our

41:36

regional director in Atlanta is

41:39

frankly scarlet Our

41:41

director of gender studies is a man

41:43

to be reckoned with our director of

41:45

country music is Stan Byerman The chairman

41:47

of our underemployment study group is our

41:49

majors the car talk opera critic is

41:51

Barbara Seville Our sleep managers also de

41:53

la rental our director of Cadillac steering

41:55

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