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0:31

Hello and welcome to Car Talk, our national

0:33

public radio, with us, Click and Clack, the

0:36

Tappert brothers. And we're broadcasting this week from

0:38

the tax preparation office here at Car Talk

0:40

Plaza. Yeah, I've been working with our staff

0:42

tax advisor, you know, Lou Pohl. Oh, I

0:44

know Lou, yeah. He had some questions, he

0:47

called them concerns, actually, about some of the stuff that

0:49

you gave him. He asked me to go over it

0:51

with you. Go ahead. You got a

0:53

minute? Shoot, man. He says on line 15, he says

0:55

you're claiming a deduction of $5,200, that's $100 a week,

1:01

for something you call weekly

1:03

employee evaluation meetings. Right on,

1:05

bucko. Well, since when do we

1:08

have weekly meetings where we evaluate

1:10

employees? Friday nights. Friday night is the

1:12

night we play poker. What does the weekly

1:14

poker game have to do with employee evaluation? When

1:16

we sit down to play poker, what's the first thing

1:18

I say to you? You

1:20

say something like, how you doing? What do

1:23

you say? I say, fine. There you go,

1:25

man, employee evaluation. We're going to be in

1:27

jail. Can

1:29

I read some mail? No. Because I don't

1:31

have any stinking mail. No, no mail, we're going to go right

1:33

to the phone. I'm sorry, I do have some stinking mail. That's

1:35

why you won't read it. But I don't want to read it.

1:37

If you'd like to call us, our number is 1-800-332-9287. Hello,

1:41

you're on Car Talk. Hello, this is

1:43

John from Center Hall, Pennsylvania. John! John!

1:46

Center Hall? I don't have a name for that.

1:48

There's a clue in there as to where it is. Yeah, is

1:50

it like in the middle of the state? That's

1:53

it. That's right. I have a problem with my wife's

1:55

car. Sure. It's

1:57

an 88 VW Golf. Yeah. much

2:00

but about every third time i do drive it the

2:02

horn blows and she wears this never happened for

2:05

her what you go to do it it

2:07

really eight pay attention with it that's

2:10

what i was trying to geographically locate

2:12

that all that pennsylvania twelve

2:14

miles from harrisburg naturally it uh... right

2:16

in the senate state it's uh... actually

2:19

when uh... penn state plays boston college

2:21

in football i can hear them cheering

2:23

the touchdown really all the

2:26

up of your window okay

2:29

so you drive your wife's

2:31

car and everyone for a while

2:34

and as you may be like taking a turn

2:36

of something along those people are not stupid it

2:38

happens all different times uh... what the the last

2:40

time it happened i sat in

2:42

it without touching the wheel because i'd wide

2:45

figure that that might have something to do with it put

2:47

the key and turn the key and there goes the horn

2:50

now it it happens uh... it'll

2:52

blow anywhere from just a quick little people

2:55

to uh... well one time we were both in the car

2:57

and i was driving and it went on for about five

2:59

minutes though

3:01

uh... she's where there's a large but indicator

3:04

uh... driver maybe

3:09

uh... that's good quick so

3:13

she knows that you're not fabricating yeah all year

3:15

she's been with the uh... she's been uh... i

3:18

want to uh... move the car in the driveway the other day

3:21

and that's when it did it when i put the

3:23

key in and she was watching the whole time those that

3:25

i didn't you know touch the wheel knows that it'll

3:27

happen i could be driving i can be turning i can

3:29

be you know sitting at a light it just doesn't

3:31

matter and according to her this

3:33

never happened when she driving ever ever happened however

3:36

we know that there's never a time when the

3:38

two of you are in the car together that

3:40

you're not driving well we know that men always

3:42

drive well when we're in the car together were

3:44

usually in my car but if you but

3:46

if you're in her car you'd be

3:48

driving uh... most uh... we have about half the

3:51

dollar but this has happened to you even when

3:53

you were driving her car and she wasn't with

3:55

you that's right so you are

3:57

the common denominator no but i'm saying is

4:00

that there's probably very little time that they're

4:02

in this golf when she's driving.

4:04

She's behind the wheel. This may be happening to

4:06

her all the time and she may be blaming

4:08

you know she may be trying to drive you

4:10

crazy. The gas light syndrome, yes. It

4:13

might be the gas light syndrome exactly. Ingrid

4:16

Bergman and Charles Boyer,

4:20

that could very well be. It could be.

4:22

I mean what's probably wrong is that the

4:25

horn button mechanism which is what

4:27

it's called in the middle of the steering wheel

4:29

is probably grounding

4:31

out and that's what makes

4:34

the horn blow. The current comes

4:36

into that thing and then when you press it you

4:38

complete the circuit to ground and that's how the horn

4:40

blows. That's a simplistic answer.

4:42

That's the answer. That is

4:44

the answer. That's a simplistic

4:46

answer but the real question

4:48

is why does it only

4:50

happen to John? That's right.

4:52

That's the real question. Boy I

4:55

mean are you working on that

4:57

aspect? I am working on it

4:59

feverishly. What was that theory of

5:01

your wife's about the loud butt?

5:03

This car does not have tilt

5:06

wheel. No. Of course. And there'd be

5:08

no reason to assume that you would do

5:10

anything differently except from adjusting the seat. Because

5:13

you're probably taller than your wife. Right.

5:15

And adjusting the seat should have absolutely

5:17

nothing to do with the wiring and

5:20

the steering column. Yeah. This

5:22

has happened. Wait. Oh this has happened. It's eight

5:24

years old and it's happened almost from the beginning

5:27

for me. Are you a loud butt? I

5:31

don't quite weight twice what she does. Do

5:34

you weigh more than 200 pounds? Yes. You

5:36

weigh more than 200 pounds? Yes. The only

5:38

clue we have and it's not

5:42

getting us any place. I

5:46

mean it would be interesting if we could come up with a theory

5:48

that says when you have 200 pounds in

5:50

the car it deforms something in such

5:53

a way that a certain wire which

5:55

we know exactly the position of would

5:57

just be... but

6:00

i actually got you said you got it to blow you

6:02

just turn the key and didn't do anything else that you

6:04

were getting in the car i was sitting in the car

6:06

but i turn the key without touching any of the steering

6:08

wheel or any of the other instruments and how did you

6:11

get to stop then uh... that

6:13

time it just one of you are just not be

6:15

played quick one yeah but have there been any times

6:17

where it's gone on for a long time you get

6:19

to do something you need to stop odd no just

6:22

wait and luckily it's one of those cars that

6:24

when you turn the ignition key off the horn stop

6:26

yeah and uh... so what you

6:28

do is you sit there and check it everyone

6:30

no problem to look done the radio doesn't go

6:32

off but the horn stop right that right well

6:35

the one good thing about it though is it is

6:37

a golf and it's the rattle in the in the

6:39

interior the cars getting to such a pitch that it's

6:41

hard to hear the whole record the point is a

6:43

welcome in the uh... boy

6:47

i wish we could give you a brilliant theory

6:49

but we have failed you no boy

6:51

uh... well i don't know i'd like to know

6:53

about it when we need more hint of you're

6:55

going to give it more information tony waste twenty

6:57

pounds what what do you know maybe i could

6:59

get her to gain a hundred and uh... see

7:01

if it does it for her i

7:04

got it next time she it would be

7:06

interesting next time she drives the car alone

7:09

she weighs a hundred and ten pounds get a hundred

7:11

and ten pound weight and put it on her lap

7:13

or sit in her lap arsad uh...

7:17

and see if the horn blows because that

7:20

will be a big big clue i'll

7:22

do it i i mean i don't know

7:24

what the possible that some wire some

7:27

wire is shaping against

7:29

the uh... so the horn wire would have to

7:31

be is being somehow

7:33

you are changing that the the uh...

7:36

geometry yeah by putting your

7:38

large but it's a little

7:40

bit but

7:42

that really is a lot of but it is a lot

7:45

of you should always pay attention to

7:48

what i don't know everything dot

7:51

me my my best guess would have to be

7:54

that it would clearly has to do with your

7:56

weight and that somehow you are you will you

7:58

are causing the wire for the whole to short

8:00

out inside the steering column. But

8:03

if someone pulls that apart, they will

8:05

see probably immediately what's wrong and they'll

8:07

fix it in no time. Okay. You're

8:10

a good sport, John. Okay,

8:12

well thanks. Thanks for calling.

8:14

Bye-bye. We'll be right back

8:16

with the answer to the puzzler right after these messages.

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So savings can sit in your cash

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is not a bank. Okay.

9:53

Here's the moment America has been waiting

9:56

weeks for. Yeah. This stupid

9:58

synonym puzzler is. going to

10:00

be overall. Well,

10:04

we received many, many responses and today we

10:06

have the winners. But here's the puzzler. What

10:08

is the puzzler? I forgot it now. Of

10:11

the thousands of automotive terms in existence. And

10:14

we left it very general so people would have artistic

10:17

license, or licentia

10:19

poetica. Yeah,

10:21

right. Is this what it's called, isn't

10:23

it? I don't know. Yeah, yeah, I think poetic licenses.

10:26

Yeah, centia poetica. If I

10:28

remember, all those Latin scholars are right to

10:30

us anyway. That's a license to drive a

10:33

poet crazy. We asked

10:35

for pairs of words whose secondary,

10:37

that is, non-automotive meanings happen to

10:39

be synonymous. And the classic

10:41

example we gave was tire, which

10:43

is clearly an automotive term, and

10:46

exhaust, which is clearly another automotive term. And they mean

10:48

the same thing. And they mean the same thing. What

10:50

you do to me every day, you wear me in

10:53

their non-automotive usages. Yeah, that's

10:55

good. Okay, I

10:57

got it. So there are two parts of

10:59

the car and then non-automotive meanings mean the

11:01

same thing to tire and to exhaust. And

11:03

we asked our listeners to come up with

11:06

their best pairs of automotive terms whose non-automotive

11:08

meanings are synonymous. So read

11:10

us the winners, Tommy. Well, we'll

11:12

read the winners, but I should

11:14

explain that we must have gotten

11:16

15,000 entries. All right, maybe

11:18

a couple of hundred. We got a lot of

11:21

entries to this. This is one of the most

11:23

popular puzzlers that we've had in ages. But

11:26

it was, it was. I will read a few.

11:28

How about this? This person?

11:30

You're reading excerpts? No, I'm reading

11:33

just excerpts. We got too many

11:35

to read. I mean, there are

11:37

some here that are thousands of

11:39

pages long. Rick Newton from Kent,

11:41

Ohio broke things up into categories

11:43

like clothing and body words.

11:46

He's got pump and

11:48

shoe. Good. Hood

11:50

and muffler. This one,

11:52

I don't know where you got this. Strip and

11:56

flash, as in flasher. That's great.

12:00

good right and a more traditional

12:02

note yeah from K K

12:04

period McNulty from Canton Ohio we

12:07

have fuse and

12:09

weld or

12:11

and hub good seat

12:13

and rear end shoes

12:18

and boots good

12:20

his one from Jake

12:23

sconey pronounced like Ronnie and

12:26

chat we

12:29

send them anything oh

12:32

we got a phone number but they had a

12:34

whole page or two of stuff here here's one

12:36

that I would actually take issue with I thought

12:38

it was clever they are

12:40

manual as in manual

12:42

transmission and primer

12:45

as in paint both

12:50

are types of books but I believe it's

12:52

primer it can be pronounced either way it

12:54

can in which case it's okay then it's

12:56

okay with me I would believe the Brits

12:58

would pronounce it a primer I

13:00

think the whole country would no I don't

13:02

think so whatever I don't think so how

13:05

about holes and shaft from

13:09

Gregory shade and Linda Simon he got

13:11

whole exactly right I love it now

13:14

we have

13:16

a head and dome yeah that's

13:18

good and a whole

13:20

list of Wow okay the only

13:23

plug-in seal heater radiator a cord

13:26

and compact I like that one cord

13:28

and those came

13:33

from another winner Charlie

13:35

Jordan from my boons mill Virginia I

13:37

thought these guys ought to win who

13:40

is this dick brass from price Utah

13:42

who he wins only on the basis of quantity I have

13:44

no idea what all these things certainly put a little

13:49

star on we have how many winners we had

13:51

I got one more five winners we got we're

13:53

gonna have six or seven winners this one Cynthia

13:55

Stokes for Minneapolis and the only

13:57

one on here that really got me was

14:00

Juice, as in battery

14:02

juice. Now can you think

14:04

of any automotive expression that goes with juice?

14:08

Not offhand. V8. Good

14:13

for you Cynthia. All of these

14:15

people whose synonyms we

14:18

just read are going to get a copy

14:20

of the best of Car Talk, which is

14:22

available on CD and on cassette. And

14:24

as we've explained before, which one you order should

14:26

depend on how much your kitchen table wobbles. If

14:29

it wobbles just a little bit, I would recommend

14:31

the CD because it's quite thin. You

14:33

can use the CD itself or you can use

14:35

the packaging for the CD. You just slide it.

14:38

If the table moves 3 eighths of an inch

14:40

or more, you may need the best of

14:42

cassette. And by the

14:44

way, if you don't have your very own copy of

14:46

the best of Car Talk, you can always get one

14:48

through Car Talk's shameless commerce division whose number is 303-823-8000.

14:54

And more importantly, we have a brand new puzzler coming

14:56

up during the second half of today's show, so stay

14:58

tuned for that. In the meantime, you can call us

15:00

at 1-800-332-9287. Hello, you're on Car Talk. My

15:05

name is Deanna. Deanna? Is

15:07

that with two N's? Yes. See,

15:10

I wrote Dean and I

15:13

left a space and I wrote

15:15

an A so I could put an extra

15:17

N. Fill it in. Fill it in.

15:20

It's in. Where are you from, Deanna? New

15:22

York City. Like Manhattan, New

15:24

York City? Like Manhattan, yes. Really?

15:26

I'm kidding. Yeah. You

15:29

don't own a car. Well, yeah, actually I do. You

15:31

do? That's my problem. You're a banker

15:33

then. No. It's actually my

15:35

mother's car, but she has a broken foot so

15:37

now all her car problems are my car problems.

15:40

In addition to having to drive her around every place. Yeah,

15:42

well, yeah. Yeah. There's that.

15:44

See, what a nightmare. I

15:47

know. We're going diaper for diaper, but that's

15:49

beside the point. That's beside the point.

15:52

Want to hear about the car? Sure.

15:55

Okay. It's the 87 Plymouth Reliance, the

15:57

car designed and built for life in the city. uh...

16:00

course rather on a thing you know uh...

16:02

never get stolen who would ever want it

16:05

right and you would think when you get the park would

16:07

not be in high demand uh...

16:09

you know there are quite a

16:12

few of these around well the battery is in

16:14

very high demand all while that battery

16:16

have to fit a julian other cars universal how

16:19

many times has it been stolen your first city uh...

16:21

well my city is not a fair time

16:23

i guess it's been stolen about four times

16:26

no kidding wait in the last month so

16:28

it that with our pollution i

16:31

have a lot i have the solution of the

16:33

give me your list will explain the will explain

16:35

to you the twice in a month theory in

16:37

a moment but go ahead okay well you know

16:39

how and if they have to move your car every day

16:41

to the other side of the street yeah the

16:45

whole solution it's horrible i have to

16:48

carry the battery down to the car in

16:50

fact i can't install it close

16:52

it up drive the car on the block repark it

16:55

take out the battery and schlep it all the way

16:57

back up to my apartment and

16:59

it's not a pretty site i don't like what you could you

17:01

could just put it in the trunk uh...

17:04

but they could open the truck just as easily

17:06

and plus yeah but they will be looking for a battery in

17:08

the what they might open your hood and

17:10

pop no battery they'll give up there that they're not going

17:12

to let the c put in the trunk of course right

17:15

have you have you know because here at the

17:17

thing in i'd park in the same neighborhood every

17:19

day yeah and that's that that's my my

17:21

uh... theory about the twice in a month thing yeah

17:24

that they know the car because down there all the

17:26

time that was the net they know that once they steal

17:28

your battery i'm gonna bring a new one in the air they

17:30

want to feel a crummy old one they

17:33

feel batteries that they don't really want to

17:36

steal old batteries right now they say say

17:38

how can we identify the cars that will

17:40

have new batteries in the man is a

17:42

star temple the cars from which we stole

17:44

the batteries yesterday will have brand new batteries

17:46

in them today and if you look carefully

17:48

on the left front fender you will see

17:50

a nearly invisible mark i think

17:52

everything is put there so they can identify

17:55

your car is having had its battery stolen

17:57

having knowledge of this theory i mean when i

17:59

first moved to a

18:01

certain section of this city here

18:03

in Boston, the north end. The

18:06

first night I parked my 56 Chevy

18:09

there. Known for its thieves and

18:11

criminal elements, I might add. They

18:14

watch it. Well, yeah, you're crazy. The

18:18

first night I left the car there, I

18:20

came the next day and the battery was missing. Knowing

18:23

of course that the only reason they stole my

18:25

battery was because they wanted to get a brand

18:27

new one the next day, I purposely went to

18:29

the junkyard and paid $2 for a battery that

18:32

was on its last legs. But

18:35

it was sufficient to start the car,

18:37

so I put it in the car, drove it

18:39

back and put a note on top of it

18:42

saying, ha ha ha. They broke

18:44

his windshield. They broke

18:46

my windshield. See that? I believe

18:48

that. Yeah. That's what

18:50

I'm afraid of. No, you can't

18:52

mess with these. If they want to steal your battery,

18:56

it's like having an argument with someone that's

18:58

preparing your food. You never know what

19:00

they're going to do to it behind closed doors. Don't

19:04

ever fight with the guy that's making your food. So

19:06

you should just lie down and let them take your

19:08

battery every day. No. No,

19:10

cool. You know what? This happened a couple of

19:12

years ago. Oh, a sprite, Mr. Funny Man. We

19:18

figured out how to stop him for a while

19:21

because we saw somebody stealing a battery out of

19:23

another car. Yeah. And what they

19:25

were doing was going up underneath the hood and popping it

19:27

open with a stick. Right. So we put

19:29

a little piece of metal in there so that

19:31

they couldn't get a stick up there to pop it

19:33

open. But now I don't know how they're doing it.

19:37

Yeah, they have their ways. So is there any prevention for this? Well,

19:40

you can put a padlock. A

19:42

chain, the kind you would use to chain a

19:44

bicycle. Right. Which, of course, they

19:46

can cut with bolt cutters. But the more

19:48

equipment that you require for them to carry

19:51

around, the more difficult it becomes for them.

19:53

That's true. So what chances are these are

19:55

guys on bicycles? Good luck, Deanna. Well,

19:57

you're not going to tell me what to do. No,

20:00

buy the chain. Buy a chain with a padlock

20:02

so that you can open the hood with the

20:04

hood release from inside and then in order to

20:06

open it more than three more inches, you need

20:08

to undo this chain and padlock. Okay,

20:11

but there's not anything that's specifically made. Maybe you

20:13

could invent it. Well, I mean you

20:15

could invent it. For a while, I

20:17

actually put a chain around my battery

20:20

when I lived in the north end. I

20:22

just took a chain and a padlock and wrapped

20:24

it around the battery and I don't know if

20:26

they ever came looking to take the battery after

20:28

that, but it never got stolen after that. No,

20:33

I mean, I know that that, I

20:35

don't know if that prevented them from ever stealing the

20:38

battery again, but I had that chain and padlock around

20:40

the battery for as long as I had the car.

20:42

Then he forgot the combination and he had to sell

20:44

the car because he couldn't change the battery. So,

20:47

I mean, I think the idea of

20:49

forcing them to carry bolt cutters with

20:51

them. That's a good idea. Although,

20:53

maybe they probably have bolt cutters already.

20:56

And they stole your battery with the

20:58

battery cables still intact? One time they

21:00

were and one time they were not. Yeah,

21:02

so they have the bolt cutters already have them,

21:04

yeah, to cut the chains. So it won't matter.

21:06

That really irks me. I mean, I don't want

21:08

to badmouth New York, but it is the rottenest

21:11

place in the world to be. Yeah,

21:13

it's not as bad. I'm sorry. It's

21:15

disgusting, horrible, crime-ridden, filthy. And, you

21:20

want me to tell you what I really feel about

21:22

the door? Yeah, don't hold back. There's a bunch of

21:24

good blood pressure. Let it out slowly, okay? Good

21:26

luck Deanna. Okay, thanks. Bye

21:28

two chains. See ya. I

21:31

will, bye. We'll be right back with more

21:33

Cults and the new puzzler right after these

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23:51

we're back. You're listening to Car Talk on National Public

23:53

Radio with us, Click and Click, the Tappert Brothers. We're

23:56

here to discuss cars somewhat, car

23:58

repair and Freudian theory

24:00

at work. Alan

24:05

Barrett from San Antonio, Texas

24:08

says, I had the

24:10

craziest dream of my life last night. While

24:13

at first I wrote it off to the

24:15

fruity demade and four glasses of the champion

24:17

I had at a life supper, I realized

24:19

later that even great Italian food and wine

24:22

can't make you this crazy or stupid in

24:24

your sleep. It had to be something else,

24:26

something I'd experienced earlier in the day. Say

24:28

it hit me. Car talk.

24:30

Specifically the car talk puzzler dialogue

24:32

that was playing that day while

24:34

I was trying to work out

24:36

why the New York Times can't

24:39

find crossword writers who know any

24:41

American words. The

24:43

only possible explanation for my dream

24:46

is that your request for puzzlers

24:48

with subjective answers got all tangled

24:50

up with my continental crossword frustrations

24:52

in kind of a left-right brain

24:55

late night linguine short circuit. I

24:58

mean I heard that a left-right brain

25:01

late night linguine short circuit. I

25:03

know the dream is meant to

25:05

be a puzzle because everyone I

25:07

tell it to gets this very

25:09

puzzled look. The same puzzle

25:11

look my old dog Finster used to get when

25:13

I tried to teach him to bring me the

25:15

paper. Okay, here's the dream. I'm

25:17

on my way to check out an NPR

25:19

news report, this isn't his dream now,

25:22

that a pack of Cub Scouts

25:24

were doing a good deed for

25:26

their neighborhood by demolishing a long

25:28

abandoned pizza restaurant. You can see

25:30

why the Italian food explanation made

25:32

sense. Yes. It seemed everybody

25:34

wanted to be rid of the old building but no

25:36

one in the community was willing to pay a real

25:38

demolition company to raise it. What

25:40

made the story worth a special trip was

25:42

the Scouts demolition method. The report

25:45

said this is his dream. The

25:48

Scouts had collected 40,000 fly swatters

25:52

for recycling. They were

25:54

going to toss all the fly swatters

25:56

on top of the flat roofed old

25:58

pizzeria. everyone figured

26:00

would come crashing down under the combined

26:02

load. When I got to the

26:05

demolition site, they were the pub scouts.

26:07

They weren't wearing traditional uniforms, but they

26:09

were indeed tossing fly swatters on top

26:12

of the boarded up old building. I've

26:15

had dreams like this. Yeah, well, yeah. The

26:17

only problem was that the

26:19

news report had been wrong. Instead

26:22

of 40,000 fly swatters,

26:24

the scouts had only collected 40 fly

26:27

swatters. Ah. It was

26:30

a Tom's theory that multiple repetitions

26:32

of any inane argument will

26:34

wear the subject down. I don't

26:36

recall that. It had worked itself into

26:38

my dream logic. The scouts

26:40

had figured that if 40,000 fly swatters

26:42

would collapse the building, throwing

26:45

40 fly swatters on the roof a

26:47

thousand times would have the same effect.

26:49

Makes perfect sense to me. You

26:52

can see this is a dream because it could

26:54

be this stupid in real life. To

26:58

accomplish this, there were brief periods of

27:00

fly swatters flying and flopping onto the

27:02

roof. Then the scouts would

27:04

scramble up on parked cars to get

27:06

up on the roof, retrieve their bespect

27:09

meshed sledges, jump down and launch yet

27:11

another assault against the hapless pizza palace.

27:14

When the process got to about 80 or 90

27:16

salvos, I woke up. It

27:20

was Sunday morning and my cat was licking

27:22

my eyelids. Not

27:25

being trained in dream interpretation, which of course

27:27

we are. And being unable

27:29

to pick up the dream where I'd left off,

27:31

I don't have a clue what this was all

27:33

about or if the Cub Scouts would have succeeded

27:36

in crushing the crusty old pizza pile across the

27:38

York City. Since you guys

27:40

are obviously partially to blame for making my

27:42

subconscious have this stupid dream, I'm

27:45

asking your other innocent listeners who've

27:47

probably spent a few sleepless puzzler

27:49

nights of their own to offer

27:51

their explanations of this dream puzzler

27:54

and slash or provide a short

27:56

treatise on the merits of using

27:58

periodic cycles of flying. recycled fly

28:01

swatters to rid our inner cities

28:03

of pesky pizza powers Alan

28:06

Barrett San Antonio, Texas. Well, I mean we must

28:08

have some psychoanalysts out there. Well listening audience It's

28:10

clear that he's trying to find a way to

28:12

get us off the air. Oh That's

28:15

we are the pizza power. We

28:18

are the P. You and I yeah, he's trying

28:20

to Destroy he's trying to

28:22

create a grassroots movement to

28:24

dump us dump us How

28:27

do you think it up somehow he feels

28:29

that we're responsible for whatever psychosis? He's

28:32

suffering. Yeah, that's very good. Yeah, I think so.

28:34

I think we are the pizza parlor Yeah

28:40

And the fly swatters I don't understand the

28:42

fly swatters, but we are we are so

28:44

insignificant as to be There's always

28:47

so insignificant that even a fly swatter could do

28:49

us in right and 40 fly

28:51

swatters would be more than more than That's why the

28:53

40,000 were unnecessary 40,000. So what

28:55

he tried it was what he's trying to

28:57

impress upon people listening to this Yeah,

28:59

is that it wouldn't take much to get rid of us Well,

29:06

maybe 38 So

29:11

mail all your letters right there Alan

29:14

Alan Barrett care of car talk

29:16

Plaza the usual address the usual

29:18

suspects send your fly swatter Whatever

29:21

else and when he gets

29:24

40 he's all set. All right, not fooling

29:26

around. It's time for the new puzzler. Yes

29:29

It's interesting that I mean I have a whole

29:31

bunch of automotive puzzlers that I could

29:33

choose from do you but you'll be You'll

29:36

be disappointed when you find out which He

29:38

was I'm sure An old

29:41

guy came into the shop the other day and

29:43

he reminded me by telling me this little story

29:45

He was giving me a puzzler. He said now

29:47

your puzzle have been kind of crummy lately, you

29:49

know Maybe you can use this one and I

29:51

think we received a letter but with the same

29:53

with the same puzzler embedded in

29:55

it Oh said one day he

29:57

was driving but since you've forgotten who that letter was

29:59

from We don't have to send that person a

30:01

hat or anything. He or she can remind us

30:03

and we will send a hat Sure, if we

30:05

manage if the if your letter doesn't get lost

30:08

the post office loses mail all the time We

30:10

had it and then you know what happens we

30:12

send the hat out tech. It's lost. We're responsible

30:14

for that Yeah, he

30:16

said he was driving his car was an old old

30:18

Chevrolet of some kind in 60s or 70s He's

30:21

a seven. It didn't really make that much

30:23

difference. Yeah, he's driving along He's out and

30:25

he's out on the highway and he hears

30:28

a noise like something that he's driven over something in

30:30

the road of lump He

30:32

said oh my god. What was that? Immediately,

30:34

it's followed by an incredible vibration

30:36

from the engine He

30:41

slows down to five or ten miles

30:43

an hour and the vibration is still there but obviously

30:45

it's reduced because he slowed down he

30:47

tries to speed up and Thing

30:50

is shaking like crazy But

30:53

when he stops the thing and puts it in park

30:55

he opens the hood the engines running everything looks alright

30:57

He looks underneath the car. He can see nothing Hmm,

31:02

so he makes his way to a gas station He

31:04

tells me and while he's at the

31:06

gas station on his way to the gas station still The

31:12

gas station attendant looks at it and scratches his

31:15

head and says jeez, I don't know He

31:17

says shut it off for a second and

31:20

he says aha now meanwhile the old guys in the

31:22

car, right? I think it out do you kick it

31:24

out of the car? It's against insurance regulation course. He

31:27

says, okay I see what's going on here

31:30

and he spends about 30 seconds Doing

31:33

something under the hood under

31:36

the hood at which point he

31:38

takes something and Throws

31:40

it in the trash and he

31:43

says start her up your vibrations all gone

31:46

Yeah Say in the end the all-fellow

31:48

says well, am I gonna make it home? All right? He

31:50

says yeah I think so if

31:52

you're not stuck in traffic for too long Get

31:57

it for the question is get it fixed when you get

31:59

a change What color is the car? How

32:02

many doors does it have? Ha!

32:05

Well, you said 60s or

32:07

70s and it doesn't make any difference. I'm gonna

32:09

guess. Could be 50s. Are

32:11

you sure of that? Could be 40s. No

32:14

kidding! Could have been the 30s. Ooh!

32:17

Okay, that's all I wanted to know. But the hint

32:19

is, it's unlikely to be the 90s. Oh!

32:24

Unlikely to be the 90s. If

32:28

you think you know the answer or you have time at work

32:30

to spend figuring it out, which I know everyone has, write

32:32

that answer on the back of a postcard and send

32:34

it to us here at Puzzler Tower, Car

32:37

Talk Plaza, Box 3500, Harvard Square,

32:39

Cambridge- Our fair city.

32:42

Matt, 02238. And if we

32:44

choose you as one of our winners, and

32:46

your catch-us, we'll send you a copy of the

32:48

best of Car Talk on cassette or CD, which

32:51

is now on top of the New

32:53

York Times list of most offensive audio

32:55

products ever. Ever! Ever! Ever! Ever! Ever!

32:57

Of all time! Whoo!

32:59

That's good. Put a distinction, eh? Most

33:02

offensive audio products. Now, if

33:04

you'd like to call us, the number is 1-800-332-9287. Hello,

33:07

you're on Car Talk. This is

33:09

Valerie Hubbard. I'm calling from Bloomington, Indiana.

33:12

Hi, Valerie. No last names, please, Valerie. Sorry.

33:15

How is everything in Bloomington, Indiana?

33:18

Bloomington's a wonderful town. Is it really?

33:20

It really is. Indiana University, you know, a bad

33:22

night basketball. Yeah. No,

33:24

I don't know about basketball, but I do know about

33:26

Indiana. Oh, is that with a- that guy, he's the

33:28

coach? Yeah. He's a butt-head.

33:31

I'm not saying anything. He is!

33:34

Why? What did he do? What did he do

33:36

to you? Oh, he has a tendency to throw chairs

33:38

and stuff like that. Oh, he does. He

33:40

gets results. He gets results. Anyways, I have to ask you

33:42

a question- He can write us a letter, but I can tend

33:44

these a jerk. Yeah,

33:47

so Valerie- So I have 10 minutes because I'm

33:49

a teacher, and I gotta be in class in 10 minutes. Okay,

33:51

good. We'll let you know when it's five. Okay.

33:53

Here's my problem. I need you to settle an

33:56

argument for me between me and my boyfriend. Yeah.

33:58

Who thinks he is like Mr. Carson? car buff

34:00

and actually if you could be a mechanic if you want to

34:03

do that and here's a story but

34:05

if i choose to i think that i think

34:07

that you can get an out of

34:09

it and really got a card in

34:12

october and in september i bought a nineteen

34:14

ninety five paniac company gt and

34:17

and then in october i got really

34:19

thick and i ended up in the hospital and stuff

34:21

and while i was in the hospital i let him

34:23

drive my car because he doesn't drive a car that

34:25

that made it my anyone had to drive when that

34:27

he liked that area now anyway

34:30

about two months later i have been to carry

34:32

out the i think you know he got a

34:34

quick you think that car would go and he

34:36

could what you want the truth and i think

34:38

that that he could like a hundred

34:40

twelve miles an hour and

34:43

i think and how would you know that not

34:45

he said well remember when you were taken the hospital and

34:48

you let me your car and i think that and he

34:50

said well i decided that you know i needed to be

34:52

half that that went and i think that well okay well

34:54

i think that i thought that kind of people could be

34:56

correct the car he would have been in big trouble but

34:58

uh... anyway he'd rather now for that and

35:00

that is we have to help me out here if you

35:02

if that.com i'm dying to hear what i'm going to

35:04

have a lot of and

35:07

that's enough for that is that in order

35:09

to properly break in the engine of a

35:11

new car right you have to take it

35:13

to a maximum speed and here

35:16

and what i have if this is the

35:18

case then aren't most people in the world driving

35:20

around with improperly broken in cars yes

35:23

and that's why the rest of us only get like

35:25

a hundred fifty thousand miles you'll

35:27

get about thirty three thousand will be dead

35:32

how many miles you bought this car was brand

35:34

new i presume yeah i bought it with twelve miles on it what

35:36

would happen on when that when you went into

35:39

the hospital and gave the car to him how

35:41

many miles did it have on it oh

35:43

but i don't know probably about couple hundred now

35:46

maybe a thousand maybe a thousand

35:49

and that it is the in that period for

35:51

the thousand miles to a

35:53

few miles after that right he drove it out of

35:55

it and twelve miles an hour that's what

35:57

he said just what i don't know whether to

35:59

believe you want to get the legal uh...

36:02

can't believe but my question is did

36:04

you read did you happen to read the owner's manual

36:07

i'm yet very fairly actually yeah and you happen

36:09

to notice that it precisely tells you not

36:11

to do this it does yes

36:13

it does wonderful people in agreement with you on

36:15

this one but you are and you know he

36:17

didn't have a political trouble in the moron i

36:21

would bump him immediately came back to class

36:24

uh... what

36:26

grade you teach i think i can tell from your

36:28

voice valerie that you are that you teach little kids

36:31

no actually i think that i think that i think that

36:33

i can eleven twelve while

36:35

in one room by the music teacher so i do

36:37

a whole bunch of the whole your music in

36:39

this in this boyfriend of your next boyfriend

36:41

and i think i thought to be x

36:43

ball to be export is a musician right

36:46

now right he doesn't get

36:48

me because he has all jalopy any other

36:50

desire to drive fast he had a nineteen eighty

36:52

five dot charger that they replace the original and and with

36:55

them put a bad caravan and and and that's it i

36:57

think that uh...

37:02

that's good well well he's wrong absolutely you're on my side and i

37:14

would not only are we on your side but even i

37:17

don't know what the three should have been driving a

37:19

hundred twelve number one and let me know

37:21

what you do want to have the montana where he

37:23

belongs but can you

37:25

like to meet their intake really loudly that done

37:28

you're wrong sure we can

37:30

do that don't you're a meatball and

37:33

more on i

37:35

don't know how to get the message that that

37:37

wonderful thank you so much regarding valerie

37:39

don't get sick anymore healthy

37:42

they held in right and keep your

37:44

eyes open for when i don't believe

37:46

we don't have enough sleep you

37:49

get sick that's why you got sick in the first place well

37:51

i worked at twelve hours a day so there's not a whole lot of

37:53

chance to you go but you go no good

37:55

no get plenty of sleep now my brother has

37:57

a bit sick for forty years all

38:00

the time they wake me up

38:02

just to do the show sometimes

38:05

see you Valerie bye bye thank you

38:08

bye bye bye hundred and twelve first of

38:10

all in a sunfire I mean talk

38:12

about taking your life in your hands while you

38:15

squand another perfectly good hour listening to Car Talk

38:17

our steam producer is Doug not a slave

38:20

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38:23

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38:25

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38:29

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38:33

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38:35

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38:38

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38:40

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38:42

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38:44

very unusual hair day yes he is what

38:49

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38:53

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38:55

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39:04

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39:06

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39:08

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39:11

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offices furnished by Rick Kleiner and of course

40:00

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40:02

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40:04

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40:06

for listening. We're clicking clap for Capit Brothers.

40:08

Don't drive like my brother. Don't drive like

40:10

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40:14

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41:46

issues, the people, and your vote at the

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NPR Elections Hub. Visit

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npr.org/elections.