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Bourbon Company, Crestwood, Kentucky. And

1:01

now the bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson

1:03

and Robert Kelly. That's something that Black

1:06

Lou is showing me outside. His cock? He's

1:08

got the Jim Brewer. Oh, God. The

1:11

Jim Brewer old show on... You

1:14

did the interview, the Marshmellio's interview? Marshmellio's!

1:16

He's got a bunch of comics from

1:18

our time, like a montage of it,

1:20

and some people I haven't seen in

1:22

years like John Bush. It's a great

1:24

example. John Bush. John Bush. Tim Young.

1:26

Crazy-eyed Tim Young. Tim Young, I think,

1:28

made his way to the cruise ship

1:30

circuit. Sometimes when you see a young

1:33

comic, but a comic who was around, and

1:35

then just isn't one day, sometimes

1:37

you could check cruise ships, and

1:40

they're on the cruise ships. It's a life. I

1:43

wish they did a documentary on

1:45

cruise ship comedians, because... Be boring.

1:48

I don't think so. No, it would, because

1:50

there's nothing salacious at all. You're not allowed to

1:52

hook up. A lot of them are there

1:55

for reasons that are

1:57

salacious. No problems in the

1:59

state. Salacious. Well,

2:02

I know a couple guys back

2:04

in, that was a big thing. When we were coming

2:06

up, the guys above us, the big

2:09

thing for them to get... Cruise ships.

2:11

Cruise ships. And there's cruise ships that

2:13

leave from Boston, right? They leave

2:15

from Boston, but they would have to go to Miami.

2:17

They'd fly them down to Miami most of the time.

2:20

Back in the day, they were flying, but

2:22

I remember one guy, he was an old

2:24

guy. Bob Seibel. He was like

2:27

an old comic, but he was well respected, really

2:29

funny, old dude. His whole thing was, I want

2:31

to get on the cruise ships, man. Because he

2:33

was at that age, he was like, I just

2:35

want to... I don't have any kids, I want to...

2:37

And he finally got it. And

2:40

he... He killed himself

2:42

three weeks later. Worse. He

2:44

hooked up with a girl on the cruise ship,

2:47

and it was the captain's girlfriend. Oh,

2:49

jeez. So we got a knock

2:52

at his door. And they were like, hey,

2:54

Mr. Seibel, we're going to upgrade you to a better

2:56

cabin. And they took

2:59

him onto the deck and flew him out on a

3:01

helicopter. Oh, hilarious, yeah. Flew him

3:04

back to shore and flew him back to

3:06

Boston. There was another comic, I know, that

3:08

had sex with a guest

3:11

on the cruise, and they helicoptered him off the cruise

3:13

if you get caught. It's weird, you're not

3:15

allowed. It's like... Fratnidation. It's against

3:17

contract, I guess. It's against contract,

3:19

especially with the captain's girlfriend. I

3:22

think the captain's girlfriend goes, even if there was no

3:24

contract, goes without saying, steer clear of

3:26

that. It is funny when

3:28

someone has crazy stories, because

3:31

there is a whole circuit

3:33

of C-club comedians and stuff, and

3:35

D-club comedians that run around the country, just

3:37

half living out of their car, and

3:39

they have so many stories of... I think he's bigger than that,

3:42

but that Donnie Baker guy,

3:44

remember? Someone's like, he

3:47

fucked someone's husband, or he fucked someone's wife,

3:49

and the husband came shooting at him or

3:51

something? It always comes down to somebody fucking

3:53

somebody's husband. Oh yeah, for sure. Yeah,

3:56

I remember a couple of comics of your stories like that,

3:58

like somebody coming in. I have to say but

4:01

that's my point almost when you go so wait

4:03

you went to a comedy club Fuck the comedian and

4:05

now our life is ruined and like, you know We

4:08

have to get divorced and the kids and blah blah

4:10

blah and you go what comic was

4:12

it? You're praying to God for a theo Von

4:16

Praying to God for a Mark Normans or so. You're praying to

4:18

God for a me or you you definitely

4:20

don't want to hear like Bob's I Bell. Yeah,

4:22

Bob's I Bell Ron

4:24

Johnston Who's that? He

4:26

goes he's a 50 year old has been doing it

4:28

for eight years. You fuck Chucky Mavelli

4:34

That's funny goes what happening goes. Oh,

4:36

my marriage was great until fucking chips

4:38

Cooney rolled into town Do

4:43

you know how the guy got caught Was

4:45

it just like cameras or something? Yeah, they

4:47

I don't know the details of it I

4:49

just remember he I remember him wanting it

4:52

so bad and finally getting it and then

4:54

everybody was so happy for him That

4:56

he got it because you have to this one

4:58

I think there's one woman who books

5:00

them back then I think it is that now

5:02

too. So you have to audition and When

5:06

you get accepted you just go they put you

5:08

out You just keep going cruise ship after

5:10

cruise ship as many as you want you go 3500

5:13

bucks a week You

5:15

do your show sometimes there's two shows sometimes

5:17

is show every night Some

5:19

of the show where it's all ages of dirty one

5:22

You have to have two hours you have to have

5:24

a back then you had to have a

5:26

clean hour and a dirty hour now They

5:28

let you do a little a little a little dirty,

5:30

but you have to have a clean Sometimes

5:32

you have to do them as the people are boarding. They

5:34

have comedy shows and then we kids But

5:38

for those guys back then 3500

5:40

a week Consistently

5:43

no rent no mortgage. No,

5:45

you're just on a ship over and over

5:47

you go in fucking Paris Down you're learning

5:49

scuba diving. You're not a driver moped. You

5:51

know, I mean you go and you

5:54

see all these places of the world It was like

5:56

the thing especially back then in Boston because a lot

5:58

of guys got paid intact So

6:01

they gotta catch trouble. Was.

6:03

It young comics that we're hoping to get.

6:05

that the or was the comic south. It

6:07

was the long time dinosaurs that were like

6:09

if I get this it's it's a wraps

6:11

because you have to either be for that

6:13

lifestyle work for you. You either have to

6:15

be ah young and single. Or.

6:17

Older and married or with somebody for a

6:19

long time for that though. It's

6:22

gonna be or you could be older and single

6:24

to a it works out to. but if you're

6:26

that there's just this guy's it's guys. When they

6:28

give up my second it's not going. I'm.

6:31

Going to be on the road. For. The rest

6:33

of my life. Plane Chinese restaurant. yeah

6:35

last. okay yeah so let me just

6:37

go do this isn't out of the

6:39

deal club owners out of the deal

6:42

rejection been and but these guys. I

6:44

actually did a show the P B

6:46

a big one for the cops was

6:48

down to Florida somewhere or was and

6:50

they hired me to do a show

6:52

their but the lady who booked it

6:54

was a cruise lady so she had

6:56

to have a cruise comics on before

6:58

me neither close it. And. I'm

7:00

not can you did? These. Guys get

7:02

an hour material. And. They

7:05

polish it. Oh yeah and it is

7:07

sock in. And they

7:09

go up a murder. But. It's jokes,

7:11

benign shit. All the guys had a

7:13

joke about gays in the military and

7:16

as I get it you can be

7:18

gay that you can be trans and

7:20

be an admiral now suicide sire the

7:22

rock at Ebbets people would dying I

7:24

didn't these cops think thought they were

7:26

murder and is on the most basic

7:28

sure they they don't want to be

7:30

as a does have been like listener

7:32

invest in some kind of story there's

7:35

no my yes that's why you jimmy

7:37

as right So I going to fail

7:39

elbow each other They murdered her. On

7:41

a Me I at my first five

7:43

minutes in on up there, try to

7:45

fuckin' in our via of regular comic

7:48

two hours here. It's like a messy

7:50

taking your father out for a things

7:52

I said My husband was yeah, was

7:54

he a hundred years older than you?

7:57

I'm like yeah and we're back in

7:59

a marshmallow. Smart. Go. You know

8:01

you. Yeah

8:04

those those guys me I know a couple of

8:06

on Mondays say love it I mean the classic

8:09

on the show is always give you the Stephen

8:11

Scott doing mouse. Instruments.

8:13

What? Is both a map and he has

8:16

no dates. Was it easy on a

8:18

cruise? I mean he was. It's gotta

8:20

be on cruises You can you know

8:22

sense you know promote a cruise? He

8:24

does and purple know he way I

8:26

go to the videos we'll need any

8:28

this see Are expecting your fans to

8:30

not to actually buy a cruise. Who's

8:32

hits that fucking pretty wild. I mean

8:34

this is. I expect the homology to

8:36

notice the voice terminals. Now.

8:38

I've never showed us I don't even own the

8:40

sky as yes you do Twitter got Stephen Scott

8:42

is there was a news reporter here in the

8:44

city and he would be at the comics or

8:46

who's Comics to growl The time has never did

8:48

a seller for a little bit and his whole

8:50

thing as he makes. Like.

8:52

Was not his whole thing as comedy was. Just.

8:55

Miss But. It.

8:58

Does this thing is so cruise ship

9:00

ready and it's so ridiculous with a

9:02

live band. He does. It

9:05

has explained years ago. You know there's

9:07

always some kind of thing like I

9:09

didn't have a lot of friends. Your

9:11

own answer. Their resolve a noise is

9:13

in my head round. dumb fuck him

9:15

introduction of this and he starts playing

9:17

his voice Germans and then he goes

9:19

around to real trained musicians who have

9:21

worked hard at their craft and even

9:24

day as good as they are have

9:26

ended up. Backing. Up this

9:28

fucking idiot on a on a cruise

9:30

ships and it's yeah. it's is why

9:32

I wanted take a peek. Enjoy yourself

9:34

as going a little that a gag

9:37

email tastily showing. yeah. I.

9:39

Know this guy. He was on a massive

9:42

that's how I see is that. Saxophone

9:45

he. Oh.

9:55

I add the it's Merge into

9:57

yeah we have a trump. I

10:00

am a harmonic. Assists:

10:05

equipment. At

10:08

a school hours do with. A

10:18

room with. Cancer

10:20

and I'd well, when the matter,

10:28

Is dedicated. His life is as. Far.

10:37

As evidence old are. You.

10:47

Mad His Father you imagine I

10:49

just bought a house I might

10:51

have a week at the my

10:53

we supposed to sir. Bobby's

10:57

voice to Months for Cement also.

11:01

Makes my sister Santa Cruz's with

11:03

the voices of my has an.

11:14

Odd One. Oh my God

11:16

of the Answer. As

11:20

the same it is gonna be. I

11:22

swear to god is should be a

11:24

docking series Our brokers to me through

11:26

something out of of this I'm I'm

11:28

a sore that a must for violence

11:30

on stage where someone chuck something I

11:32

because I can't with this to the

11:34

carnival Cruise mug. That's

11:37

Bobby on Jay And to get

11:39

our full show, sign up for

11:42

a Series Xm subscription as Serious

11:44

X am.com/bonfire. support our show

11:46

don't be some jerk off just

11:48

taking the free stuff let him

11:50

know you want us to be

11:52

here for ever or we root

11:54

for me we want to subscribe

11:56

to sign there.

12:01

That's some good stones right there. But they're never

12:03

gonna play that at our show though. I don't

12:06

know. I don't think they... I looked

12:08

at a bunch of the set lists all

12:10

over the place. I'm gonna have Josh out

12:12

of Myers. You know that voice. I'm back.

12:14

He's back. Josh

12:17

is gonna be at the New York Comedy Club, Stanford, Connecticut May 24th

12:19

in St. E's Nashville

12:21

June 10th. After that

12:23

Boston, Springfield, Massachusetts, St. Louis,

12:26

Los Angeles for tickets and all tour dates

12:28

go to Josh Adam Myers dot com. So

12:31

do you mind if I do something before

12:33

we get started into all of this? Because I literally

12:36

have rushed here from Los Angeles. I was

12:38

in LA Sunday and Monday

12:40

and then I took off and I've landed at

12:43

230 and I beelined here.

12:47

Here. Here. I dropped my dog

12:49

off. Where? Here. Right here. Here.

12:51

How do you make this music?

12:53

Here. Right here.

12:56

Right here. Here. There's

12:59

just some stuff going around that

13:02

I am a snack eater. Yep. Yeah,

13:05

I came in. There's no snacks. There's

13:08

snacks right there, bro. It's bad

13:10

snacks. Okay. Well, guess what? That's

13:12

a Christine complaint. Guess what

13:14

motherfucker? Cause it's about to change.

13:16

Cause I went to Canada.

13:19

20 dollars

13:22

of chocolate,

14:00

If you get garlic bread, I think I'll have

14:02

some of your garlic bread. You ever did

14:04

with the marinara? Real good. Come

14:06

on, girl. That body don't need all that

14:08

flan. Can I take a sip of your

14:10

root beer? You

14:15

gonna have the filet mignon and the border house side.

14:17

Come on, break me off a little piece of it.

14:19

Give me a little flack of that steak. You know,

14:21

I see you're not eating all the rest of your

14:23

shrimp. Let me get the tails. Tuck

14:26

on your shrimp tails. No, I went out,

14:28

she came to the show, she brought a friend.

14:31

We go, I did Shimi last night, it was

14:33

great. Tim

14:36

Dillon showed up, fucking, it was a lot of fun, man. The

14:39

store was really great the last couple days. And the

14:41

week that we were there for the, it feels like

14:43

it's kind of back. Do you know what I mean?

14:45

It was awesome. It really, really has a good vibe

14:48

again. Yeah, good vibe. And

14:50

so this girl comes who I've been hooking up with

14:53

on and off, and I wanted

14:55

to come back to the hotel, which we've had sex

14:57

already before. But she's like, not like

15:00

a guest, she's like, I'm just tired. But then she's like, hey,

15:02

let's go out to eat. And I take her out, her and her friend. But

15:04

you thought you were tired, you're tired of fuck. But

15:07

you wanted, I just need some fuck fuel. I

15:11

need some dantama. Well,

15:14

we didn't. Some carbon arm, I get my

15:16

mouth juiced in for your hog pig. You're

15:18

gonna hear. So I take her, so

15:21

they go to Jones, which is like this Italian restaurant. It's

15:23

not the intense quality at all, but I take them there.

15:26

We got burrata, we get fucking

15:28

pizza, and we get a salad. And

15:30

we're hanging. And then out of nowhere, she just

15:32

goes, hey, I'm just really tired, so I'm going

15:34

home. She already called the Uber, right? And

15:37

I was like, oh, okay, cool, you're leaving from here?

15:39

And she's like, yeah. And then we walk outside, and then her friend's

15:41

like, well, I'm gonna call an Uber. And I go, where do you

15:43

live? Are you gonna

15:45

blow me a chicken palms word? No. She

15:49

then... I'm gonna go because I'm still hungry because you

15:51

ate everything. All right,

15:53

I'm gonna have the chicken piccata,

15:55

and honey, what do we have?

15:57

I did. I

16:00

did gotta eat everything. Of course. Have

16:02

you guys heard of the chicken catatonic?

16:05

I had some of it a couple weeks ago. You

16:08

said I paid for it? Did you say after her when

16:10

you were reaching over to her plate, she goes, excuse me,

16:12

I paid for it, bitch. I see

16:14

you keep itching to get that Uber coming. I

16:17

go booger to beppo style. It's family. Family.

16:22

No, but then I booger to

16:24

beppo style. Then

16:26

I tried to be like, so she's jumping in

16:28

her Uber and I go, okay, and I look

16:30

at her friend and I go, where do

16:32

you live? She's like, oh, I live on Beachwood Drive or

16:34

whatever, which is close enough to the

16:37

hotel that I stay at that it's not a pain in the ass.

16:39

So I'm like, I'll just give you a ride. She's like, what? You're

16:41

not gonna give me a ride, but you give her a ride? I

16:44

was like, you called the Uber. It's already here before the time I

16:46

found out. Wait, so were you giving

16:48

her a ride too? Her friend. I tried to be

16:50

nice because I'm trying to fuck the one girl. I

16:52

was like, oh, well, I'll help her friend out because she already has an Uber

16:54

going home. Does that make sense?

16:57

No. You took them both out to eat. No.

16:59

No, I wanted to hang out with one girl, but she brought her friend. You

17:02

paid for both? I paid for both of them. Yeah.

17:05

Really? Yeah. It

17:07

was like three things. But how did you not see that she

17:09

brought the friend that's to not hook up? That's like the move.

17:12

No, because she's brought a friend, yes,

17:14

maybe, but also that we've already hooked up before. If

17:17

a girl said, but if same, if it was a hookup and

17:19

she goes, can I bring my friend to go

17:21

to dinner with you? That's saying like, I don't want

17:23

to hook up. So I would take that. I completely

17:25

would. Sure. And I know it's

17:27

definitely cock blockable. But you were like, I could bust through

17:29

it. I'm

17:32

going to drive your friend home. Did you try

17:34

to fuck the friend? No,

17:38

not at all. Especially because

17:40

what happened was then- Did you talk

17:42

to my friend and you go, booka

17:44

de pepper, baby. It's all family style.

17:47

I got a little bit of everything, scampi, your

17:49

friend, Michelle. I got a couple extra arugula in

17:51

my pocket last week that I hid from Jane

17:54

Christine. Check this out. Inside pocket,

17:56

rice balls. Oh,

18:00

I got some pocket, some pocket gadget or

18:03

left on a pocket, chicken dumpling. That's why I

18:05

wear these pants with all these pockets. I

18:07

got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got,

18:10

I got, I got, I got, I got five pompean pretzels

18:14

left. Oh, that's so funny. I'm

18:18

bringing my friend, so just so you know, he's like,

18:20

I love that. That's another dish I get to pick

18:22

from. If she goes, I'll have

18:25

the same things. Here you go. Hang

18:27

on, sweetheart. I know you're

18:29

new here, but you can't get the same

18:31

thing as her because I'm going to get

18:35

a little crazy. We all got a diverse.

18:37

It can be a parmesan, but it can't

18:39

be a chicken parmesan because we've already got

18:41

that represented. You can get the veal parmesan.

18:43

You can get the veal parmesan. But

18:46

if I was you, I'd get a piccata. Lemon

18:48

butter. You know what? Just let me pick for

18:50

everybody. I'll order for the table. I did. I

18:54

did order for the table. I'll

18:56

have spaghetti in front of this one. Slap

18:59

the rigatoni meat sauce over here. I'll

19:01

have the sundae gravy. Hey, we

19:04

got to get dessert. Even

19:06

if you don't want it, we got to get it.

19:08

I tried to get a dessert that we already had

19:10

to share. She's like, my Uber's coming. Yeah. And I

19:12

was like, how are we going to get it? Come

19:14

on. Oh, a tiramisu is gravy.

19:17

Then we'll have a napkin back in my

19:19

hello. Where you at? Hey, is he already?

19:21

I'm dropping your friend home. I'm dropping your

19:23

friend home. I'm taking a talk tofobal in

19:25

my pocket after I fuck you there. Bitch,

19:28

I'm going to eat Spamoni off your burger.

19:31

It's Neapolitan. Jog

19:34

it, strawberry, and meat. You

19:36

travel with fucking cookies. Those

19:39

came from L.A. Those came, those only just come from L.A.

19:41

I think it's illegal what you've done. The

19:45

whole really? No. I went through,

19:47

dude, I went through. It's not. I know

19:49

it's not. Because I went through TSA and they didn't even

19:51

stop me at all. You can take

19:53

cookies from L.A. I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure.

19:55

What's funny, but this is actually God's honest truth.

19:57

I wanted to make sure that these were at

20:00

as fresh as fresh could be, so I woke

20:02

up at 3.45 a.m. Because

20:05

my flight was at six, and then I

20:07

drove to fucking Canters, bought

20:09

these. I'm so happy for you,

20:11

of all people, that it was serving.

20:15

Canters has become a bitchy, angry place. Oh,

20:17

it's dude. No one enjoys it. I've gone

20:19

there, and they go, yeah, we're not giving

20:21

the cookies right now, you know. Why

20:23

not? And I go, it's just, they

20:25

go, it's busy. I don't feel like walking over

20:27

there. Yeah. to

20:30

tell me the real reason it hurts. I

20:33

don't want to. I had that, I'll

20:35

always remember that from Montreal.

20:38

I don't like your face. Your

20:41

face bugs me. A place called Duns

20:43

that I love, smoked meat from in

20:45

Montreal. But another one,

20:47

just Montreal in general, though, the

20:50

service up there is garbage. They fucking are

20:52

shit. And I'm gonna go on the

20:54

Duns, and I go, I'll have the smoked meat

20:56

sandwich and the fries, and I'm

20:59

gonna get a strawberry milkshake, actually.

21:01

And he goes, yeah,

21:03

I think it's too busy for that. And

21:05

I went, what? He goes, it's too

21:07

busy. He goes, I don't have time to make

21:09

the milkshake. And I was like, no,

21:11

I think, is the machine broken? And

21:13

he goes, no. And

21:16

I go, you should tell people the machine's broken. And I

21:18

just like, I won't do that for you. I know it

21:21

says it on the menu, but I don't have time to

21:23

cross that out. So it's better just to tell you, I

21:25

don't feel like making it. I didn't feel like you didn't

21:27

want to do it. That's crazy. You gotta kinda respect it.

21:31

I respect it to gangster. That's like

21:33

a bartender hating the girls that

21:37

order the espresso martinis, because they're like a pain

21:39

in the ass. You're the

21:41

male version of the espresso martini bitch. Well,

21:43

I'm not, because he didn't make it for

21:45

me, reluctantly. I'm

21:48

a fat man who he went, I'm not.

21:50

And not quite frankly, I'm saving your life.

21:54

Not only am I being lazy the way

21:56

I wanna be, I'm also being a fucking

21:58

hero. He actually did it.

22:00

I go, maybe that guy's right. Maybe that was the day

22:02

I turned around and go, that guy's right. I

22:05

actually shouldn't be able to milkshake with smoked meat

22:07

and fries. He actually did that because of that.

22:10

What's that, Christine? Just the girl being pissed about you. Like,

22:12

was she just pissed that you were offering her friend a

22:14

ride like she thought you were going to hook up with

22:17

your good sister? She's like, I'm going to try something with

22:19

her friend because she did already order. Then she accused, because

22:21

the Uber, she literally let me know that the Uber was

22:23

there. The moment she was like, yeah, I'm leaving. Oh, and

22:25

the Uber's here. And so I was like, oh, I guess

22:27

we're walking out. And

22:30

then she gets in the Uber and I say to her friend, I was

22:32

like, do you, or I don't know if she was getting in, she's getting

22:34

in as I look at her friend and I'm like, do you need a

22:36

ride? And she's like, yeah. And then she like, she's like,

22:38

you'll give her a ride but not me. And then gets in the car. I

22:40

opened the door. I'm like, dude, what? Was this a large,

22:43

boisterous black woman? I asked you for a ride. And

22:46

I wish a motherfucker would. I wish a motherfucker would. Yeah,

22:49

I should have got a tiramisu to go. I

22:51

should have ordered more shit on this

22:53

motherfucker. Yeah, would you, dud, dad? I

22:56

should have got a tiramisu to go.

23:00

I'm one of

23:02

them canollis. He slapped it up with

23:04

the cheese and the chips. I should

23:06

have got canokies, motherfucker. It's a goofy-ass

23:08

white motherfucker. More Parmigian on it, more

23:10

Parmigian. You going to drive home

23:12

some skinny bitch instead of taking me

23:15

home. What? Did she take the

23:17

food home, too? We ate the food. Did she

23:19

take it all? Sorry, that was a

23:21

dumb question. The

23:24

pizza, the girls ate a lot of the

23:26

salad. Everybody kind of just ate. And then

23:28

the burrata, they didn't really fuck with the

23:30

burrata. So I did most of the burrata.

23:32

Good for you. Yeah. But it's

23:35

good because they had really good flatbread garlic naan,

23:37

kind of like Italian garlic naan. Yeah,

23:39

it was good. Garlic naan. Yes. But

23:42

the thing was, she gets in the car and then I'm

23:44

just like, what the fuck, dude? And her friend's like, she's

23:46

like, let me give you a ride home. I'll give you

23:48

the intel on her. And I'm like, I don't really care.

23:50

Like, this is annoying. This is

23:52

more- The friend that you drove home, so she's going to be

23:54

inteling her. I go, this is so different. I say to her,

23:56

I go, listen, I'm 44 years old. I

24:00

was like I don't fucking need the headache.

24:02

I don't really give your age. I'm 44

24:05

I'm half next year me 45 last

24:07

year was 42. I got 30 summers

24:10

left That's Bob Kelly's joke aka somebody

24:12

else's joke aka somebody else's Stone

24:17

joke I saw it She

24:21

calls while while we're in the car. I

24:23

use to try are you talking to titties? I

24:26

pick up and it just it goes it just

24:28

it just goes blank then happens again It goes

24:30

blank and then she calls her friend and then

24:32

she's like she's like yeah You guys won't call

24:34

you won't pick up the phone and she was

24:37

like I know I impression is

24:39

very black I mean your pressure is I

24:41

called you answer that how it worked I

24:44

Call her phone and you don't bring out now. She's with

24:46

you. Hey, let me ask you questions I've been known the

24:48

bitch was a slut from day one Since

24:51

I met her we were both working at path mark

24:54

together I'm a hoe.

24:56

I know a hoe We

24:58

stole the rotary at right a together I

25:03

know this bitch Hey

25:06

was the other girl, let me ask you question It

25:08

was very very Point your question was the

25:10

other girl that you're gonna give it a ride home

25:13

was she as hot as the girl you wanted to

25:15

bang No, they but she but she was hot though

25:17

a hot enough, but not hot enough to even not

25:19

like to ruin the other You

25:22

know, she looked like she looks like Genevieve

25:24

Jolie The porn star.

25:26

Oh, I thought you would know I mean Jenna

25:28

beef Joey you have

25:30

fun trying to spell that when you Google it G

25:33

on you I

25:35

think it's with a J. J. Oh I At

25:39

any point when she says she's bringing a friend were you

25:41

like threesome? She'll be this girl. She's

25:43

girl I'm here close together. I look like her. Yeah.

25:45

Oh It looks like

25:48

her eyes are too close together. I just Google her name. I don't

25:50

remember Remember names

25:53

very well. Well, she's really hot. She's

25:55

all right. She's really hot. I've She

25:58

got that grip you spunko Lotta Genevieve Jolie.

26:01

Say what? You spunked a lot to

26:03

Genevieve Jolie. I have, yeah. Say what? Our

26:05

right, her left pussy lip is a real dangler.

26:08

Yeah. It looks like a

26:10

Muppet Mountain. Dangly Spangly.

26:12

It really, actually, it looks like, if you look at

26:14

her pussy sideways, it looks like a mouth with a

26:16

tongue sticking like this. Yeah, it does. It

26:18

looks like a little kid. Yeah, like it's

26:21

going... The

26:23

Nirvana. That girl looked like? That girl looked

26:25

like... Mmm. Yeah. Dives

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I got Babbel. Babbel. It's right

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say, see. And then it tells you if you're

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that's French. But you can learn French. It has a

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apply. So,

29:58

so did you drive the girl by? back to the house

30:00

and I drove her back to her place. What was the

30:02

intel? What was the skinny? She's like she's like saying like

30:05

she thinks like she got a dick she doesn't want to

30:07

tell me to tell you she doesn't want to think you're

30:09

like a fuck boy or

30:11

she I don't remember to be honest with

30:13

you it was it was very like I

30:18

saw her mouth going like this but all I heard

30:20

was skiddededap skiddedab skiddedoo predictability

30:28

I was just thinking about the

30:30

taro masseu I didn't get it man I

30:32

really wouldn't believe this bitch look at it

30:34

look like Genevieve Jolie in a belly full

30:36

of no dessert and was that panna cotta

30:38

over there? I hate it. Let me get

30:40

a panna cotta. You having your snacks in

30:42

your house? I did divert about five minutes

30:44

to come back y'all.

30:48

If you wouldn't mind. Also

30:51

y'all your third of the

30:53

tip was eight dollars. FYI.

30:58

Also you get venom on me later if you

31:00

ain't got the cash on him because I gotta

31:02

be honest I got change. I got jail. I

31:04

got jail too. I'm

31:07

big on cash. Yeah I

31:10

pay Metro PCS. I'm really

31:12

wrong. That's nice that

31:14

you got the the cookies man.

31:17

Did you have, did you eat any? No

31:19

I didn't need any of them. You didn't have one? Completely unsealed

31:22

bags. No because I bought my own. I

31:24

bought my own to bring. Yeah I didn't

31:26

want to like I wanted these to be

31:28

thick and robust. What? Me and

31:31

Christine last night at Morton Williams

31:33

purchased those kind of cookies

31:35

they had them there. Not nearly as good. Not

31:38

nearly as good. They weren't bad. They weren't bad. They

31:40

weren't bad. I just said when I when I when

31:42

I bit it I was like they're

31:45

good but they're not the ones from Cancers. Yeah well now

31:47

you got them. Now you got about twenty dollars worth of

31:49

them which I think is about four cookies. Well

31:52

just so you know. Did you bring me my turkey

31:54

chili that you ate? No

31:57

you could you offer you off. I like you thought about

31:59

it though. Did I bring home turkey sauce?

32:01

I brought the dog. At

32:04

what point did I eat turkey salad? Was

32:07

that after I ate his Greek salad?

32:10

Bobby, I didn't. Bobby, I'm sorry. I

32:12

couldn't do it, but I did bring

32:14

you this four-melt salad. I was in

32:16

between the quesadilla of Justin and the

32:18

turkey club of J. Big J. Ochsom.

32:25

He's looking like his fingers pointed at the meal. Okay,

32:28

a little bit of that. A little bit

32:30

of that quesadilla. A little

32:32

bit of quesadilla in my life.

32:35

A little bit of Thing

32:38

Makes Josh Eat Full. Whoa!

32:42

That's fucking stupid. Ah,

32:45

shit. Everything's stupid. It's

32:47

very sweet of you to bring me some coffee. I

32:49

love you guys. I love you. Just

32:51

tell me where to send the carbonara. I'm so

32:53

excited for it. Should we itemize it? I

32:57

will bring, like, I can do that. Let me come on,

32:59

let me find a good carbonara spot in New York,

33:01

and then I'll just come on one day and I'll

33:03

just bring a big fucking... You

33:06

can't bring a carbonara at dinner. Jacob will

33:08

never touch it. Black

33:11

was going to family, so he'll probably get in trouble for eating

33:13

dinner at work and not eating at home. It's going to get

33:16

hard. It's going to be like a brick bus. Have a jet

33:18

here. DJ Lou's going to bring it home and put tuna fish

33:20

and peas in it. He's

33:22

going to eat it like a cookie. He

33:26

ate his carbonara and eats

33:29

a little something. Peas, canned

33:31

tuna fish, bread crumbs, homemade.

33:33

Have you had his fucking

33:35

food yet? Yeah. I mean,

33:37

I grew up on it. My mom used to

33:39

make chicken, what was it, no,

33:42

tuna, cream of tuna over white rice. Oh,

33:44

God. So it was tuna fish, mushroom soup,

33:46

peas, white rice. You only dealt with DJ

33:48

Lou's for a little bit, though, because it

33:50

came right back out of you. Because

33:54

it was cold, it wasn't hot, it wasn't

33:56

fresh. No, it was hot. He

33:58

melted it. the Kraft slice on

34:00

top of that. Yeah, it was bad. You

34:03

think that Kraft slice just melts itself?

34:05

How about on that? Yeah, it just...

34:07

It just... It just cries

34:09

over it. It's a chemical... No,

34:12

it wasn't that bad, Lou. I mean, it wasn't

34:14

the best. For gas station ingredients, I thought it

34:16

was pretty good. It's pretty good for gas station

34:18

ingredients, without a doubt. In a pinch, tell

34:20

you what, if you were starving and your stomach was hurting,

34:23

if you were in prison... You eat the shit

34:25

out of that. Prison? It's better than

34:27

prison loaf. It's better than prison loaf. If you were in

34:29

Rikers Island, it'd be fucking awesome. Yeah, we were on the

34:31

Jelly Roll Tour, one of the guys on

34:33

our bus who had been in prison

34:35

made, I guess it was prison chili,

34:38

and it was fucking romaine... Not romaine,

34:40

the noodles, the ramen noodles, the ramen

34:42

noodles, a Hormel bean bag. Put

34:49

it in a fucking bag. He called it swelling,

34:51

the noodles. You got to swell those noodles. It

34:53

was this huge bag of noodles, and then he

34:56

cut up pieces of Slim

34:58

Jims as the sausage. And

35:02

then he took Doritos, crushed them up, and mixed them

35:04

up. Dude, it was great. No, it's

35:06

not. It's a prison... I've seen this

35:08

on prison shows. But it wasn't bad. It wasn't hard. I

35:11

mean, you're high. It was great. It wasn't as

35:13

good as Dantana's. No. God, no.

35:15

It wasn't as good as Josie.

35:18

Even Joan and I. I'm gonna

35:20

drive your friend home, you Uberin'

35:22

bitch. I should've gave

35:24

you a bag of chili. I took

35:26

you to a nice place. You

35:29

know, you missing out. I learned how to make bag chili. My man's

35:31

pretty much chili. And now you're never gonna get it. Yeah, this is

35:34

gross. Oh, here's prison chili with hot dogs. I

35:36

mean, it's kind of what we had that that

35:38

band made, Christine, right? They

35:41

just made ramen with little hot dogs

35:43

cut up in it. Yeah. That's

35:45

not... No chili. No chili.

35:48

Yeah, that's disgusting. Yeah, it's

35:50

not great. But when

35:52

you're high... We're not in prison anymore. Yeah. We

35:54

don't have to do this. He's like,

35:56

stop sleeping in my bunk. Well

36:00

those noodles let me tell you we're actually not

36:02

in jail anymore goes right so stop sneaking my

36:05

bunk You better you better sit down when you

36:07

pee. I don't want no splash prison

36:10

chili Nope, nope,

36:12

although it doesn't look the other thing Bobby that

36:14

I do kind of want to try What do

36:16

you call American chop suey? American chop suey is

36:18

awesome, but it's just it but

36:20

it's comfort food flavor awesome It's not like a

36:22

you can't nobody can make like a stellar one.

36:24

Yes, you can how? um

36:28

Baby carrots no no carrots you can't

36:30

put carrots in it. It's it's onions

36:32

mushrooms Peppers

36:35

Sauté those and then you

36:38

get the hamburger I'll say that and then

36:40

you get the elbow noodles I do it

36:42

with rigatoni because it goes inside the rigatoni

36:45

Like the meat goes inside like a little to

36:47

you almost made DJ Lou hard over And

36:49

you gotta eat it with a spoon you

36:52

can't eat it with a fork You'd be a

36:54

fool to you gotta eat with a spoon. It's

36:56

like what hamburger helper is based on right? Yeah,

36:58

well Absolutely, it's it's what it

37:00

was what it came hamburger helper came from

37:02

that. It's high level. It's my level My

37:05

mom never let it know we never ate

37:07

that I'm gonna make a few hamburger helper.

37:09

We never eat that I had a having

37:11

full times my life never did stovetop We

37:14

never did any of the real Trash

37:17

he didn't stovetop we did still we did

37:19

all the white trash over there. We did

37:21

stovetop minute rice You

37:24

said our only highfalutin thing was that our

37:27

our frozen pizza was French bread pizza Nice,

37:30

that's right. Stofers. Oh for his was good. Yeah,

37:32

he leos he leos. I thought people who got

37:34

he leos was trash But

37:36

no, we get a leo sometimes and we'd rock it

37:38

down, but you knew things were going alright

37:41

Mom had a good week at the big and tall clothing

37:43

store if we were fucking eating Breads

37:46

but stovers you had to wait so long to take

37:49

a bite It takes a cuz you would burn the

37:51

roof of you it would just also also if you

37:53

make it good It's a two-step process on for you

37:55

have to microwave a little bit then you got

37:57

to oven like you got a toaster oven it I

38:00

did it without, we didn't have microwaves, that's how old

38:02

I am. You had to put it in

38:04

the oven for fucking 45 minutes and then

38:06

let it cool because when you

38:08

bit into a stove for us, it

38:11

vacuums, it fit your mouth like a

38:13

dental and it would just... It

38:15

paints the top? Yeah, the hard crust would

38:18

stick to the teeth and

38:20

then the hot lava,

38:23

lava cheese and sauce would stick to the roof of

38:25

your mouth and you had to peel it off if

38:28

you didn't eat it right. You had to go look,

38:30

if you looked at your

38:32

gums underneath, you're a... Oh

38:34

yeah. It's like fucking a haunted house

38:36

curtain. Holes and

38:39

shredded, like pieces hanging off. You had to

38:41

go from a side. You could never go

38:43

straight on with the stove. You

38:45

had to go from the side so it didn't

38:47

fit your mouth perfectly. Yeah, you have to do

38:49

little small bites throughout. I

38:52

think that's what happens when people pour tar on you,

38:54

when people tar you to burn you with hot tar.

38:57

That's what I feel like it does because it gets on you and

38:59

you can't escape it. You could feel there's a

39:01

pepperoni wedged up in there that's just destroying

39:04

everything. I think the guy who poured the

39:06

gold in Game of Thrones and the guy...

39:08

Yeah, exactly. A king for a crowd or

39:10

some shit. Oh, yeah,

39:13

absolutely. Dovah's was great. The stokers would fuck your roof up. I

39:15

used to feel it all the time when I was a kid.

39:17

When I was out on the streets, we'd go in and steal

39:19

sofas, pizzas and the fried chicken, the

39:24

TV dinner fried chicken. Oh, God. Oh,

39:26

so good, dude. It would

39:28

take five hours to cook though for some

39:30

reason. It was just frozen, solid. We made

39:33

a pigeon. I'll tell you, a fat kid

39:35

thing for sure. Those kids' meals,

39:37

those popped up in my life when my brother and

39:39

sisters were born. And so whatever

39:41

that brand is where it's the kids' TV dinners.

39:44

Snackable? No, the kids' TV dinners.

39:47

But they had pretty good

39:49

desserts. And I would just... Like

39:51

you said what you're doing with the girls last

39:53

night. I would stare at your kids' cuisine. I

39:56

would stare. I would stare at

39:58

my siblings while the either kids... because we hoping to God

40:00

they didn't eat their desserts so I can go in for

40:03

them I

40:05

do remember the kid cuisine brownies were

40:07

great brownie I but

40:09

that was like molten lava to that was

40:11

like molten lava that's

40:13

why all these kids get fucking

40:16

dying from peanuts yeah we burners

40:18

that stupid shit I was

40:20

all cancer little brownie bites kids cuisine tic-tac-toe

40:24

cookies yeah

40:26

I mean it's just all cancer oh

40:28

I'm certain of it man kids

40:30

cuisine left over the whatever

40:33

they would leave over I did a

40:35

spaghetti ills for sure though there's a good

40:37

thing you kept in the house wasn't anything's

40:40

good when you put a pile like a

40:42

nuclear holocaust get my spaghetti as well as

40:44

putting cheese on spaghetti ills it looked like

40:46

it was a different color it went from

40:48

red to pink every cold spaghetti ills no

40:51

I'm not that there's

40:53

no reason to it wasn't that bad it was

40:55

kind of sweet you crack your

40:57

way can't fucking ate it crack over the can

41:00

and just spoon it in your are you we

41:03

were fucking trolley hobo mercenaries and sometimes

41:09

they had a fight for a living you

41:12

never think she's just shaving

41:15

with no I can't tell a

41:17

dizziness oh doo-dah doo-dah doo-dah they

41:19

both chocolate brownie

41:24

burning my mouth

41:27

and I have in my life I've

41:29

had I was just like

41:31

just go we could let him go as

41:33

far as he can with that and

41:35

that time is almost done I've

41:42

had we ever once Christie did we try one time

41:44

to do TV dinners like let's just do it one

41:47

time I think we went to key food years ago

41:49

and we're like let's just do TV there's

41:51

that but we always but it's almost a novelty of like oh let's

41:53

go pick out like two TV dinners and get him but

41:55

I remember times in life a

41:58

handful maybe five TV dinner I've ever

42:00

had in my life. It's a sad thing. You

42:02

can't make that not sad Well, you had to

42:04

get the tables back in the foldable TV dinner

42:06

tables in the living room So it was it

42:08

when you used to eat you see it at

42:10

the dinner table No TV

42:13

dinners we you would eat in front

42:15

of TV his family watch People

42:20

almost nobody was home like I was lying

42:22

on the carpet. Yes watching TV from his

42:25

bedroom down the hall Yeah, a hundred percent

42:27

laying on my stomach eating a cheese stick

42:29

on the floor. What the fuck man? We

42:33

had carpeting we carpeting The

42:40

night looks like Rowan Marley We

42:47

had puppy carpet and Philly and

42:49

then we and then we moved South

42:52

Jersey was carpeting. I was a new house. So

42:54

it was a new carpet. It's great. Yeah Now

42:57

it's not carpeting actually. I think now they got rid of the

42:59

carpet, but I was younger Yeah, my spot

43:01

was laying on the floor on my

43:03

tummy eating my food on the floor I'm so sad

43:05

and cute at the same time felt great. I want

43:07

to see it and I loved it Oh my god

43:10

a big by the way when you know when they

43:12

wrap cheese steak like no Economy

43:14

of that paper at all the paper was just huge

43:18

You'd unwrap the cheese steak and your big fucking

43:20

french fries over here. Oh, it was so great.

43:22

Those days are gone No, they're not you can

43:24

do them tonight We got

43:26

a cheese steak on Sunday Christine's been sick from

43:29

it ever since It

43:31

was a bad cheese steak. It wasn't very good. It

43:33

turned. That's what I'm gonna do tonight I'm gonna

43:36

drive to Philadelphia and get a cheese steak. I

43:38

got odd dude. I would love a fucking roast

43:40

pork sandwich from Tony Luke's That's the fucking what's

43:42

the one in Brooklyn? What's the one they got

43:45

in this in the market? What's that place? Is

43:48

she a bibbles? No, I'm silly. Yeah, that's

43:50

what the D right? Yeah the Fuck

43:53

someone's screaming at their compared their Radio

43:56

right now Del Del

43:59

fresco. No Keep going with it.

44:02

Dell computer. Dell Harris. I'm

44:05

just using what the place is called.

44:07

Dell Tones. Look at Redding Terminal. Cheesesteak.

44:10

Delaware. Sandwich Shop. Del

44:12

Monte. You fucking said

44:14

it. What should we call it? Del computers.

44:16

I said Del computers. Oh, you did. Del-icious.

44:19

Adele. Adele. The

44:21

next. The next. That's

44:23

what it is. The next. That was probably

44:25

one of the best sandwiches I've ever had.

44:27

The next. Here's what's crazy about Philly

44:30

sandwiches and how great they are is that

44:32

everybody sucks the dick of the cheesesteak but

44:34

I'm telling you the roast pork with broccoli,

44:36

rob, and provolone. I've said that. Might be.

44:39

I go, you guys really fucking jerk yourselves off

44:41

with the cheesesteak. It's better than anything else

44:44

though. The roast pork sandwich.

44:47

Never seen it any other city

44:50

and I've never had a sandwich that- You never

44:52

saw the cheesesteak in a city until Boston stole

44:54

it and flipped the words. It's steak and cheese

44:56

and we had it before I even knew if

44:58

fucking Philly existed. Steak and cheese should have the

45:00

word egg in the middle. There's no egg in

45:02

it. I know, there should be. There should be

45:04

no egg. It's a hunk of shit. It is

45:06

not. I don't think go to Philadelphia and get

45:08

the fucking chowder. Because you can't

45:10

get good chowder. But you can't get a good roast pork

45:12

sandwich. They don't have it. They don't have

45:14

good roast beef sandwiches. Boston

45:16

has insane steak

45:19

and cheese. It's all right. It's great.

45:22

It's all right. It's great. And there's

45:24

a few great places. And every place is great

45:26

for cheesesteak. Not true. Did they

45:28

just submit and start pulling out a cheesesteak?

45:31

Because Boston Magazine is saying cheese steak and

45:33

Boston. Ooh, pussies. No, they didn't. They bailed.

45:36

No, they didn't. Look, Boston Magazine, these are

45:38

the best places to get a cheesesteak in

45:40

Boston. Nah, that's just some shitty asshole that's

45:42

moving across the- Ew, that's also a really

45:44

ugly cheesesteak right there. That looks terrible. Breads

45:46

looks good. Nah, that sucks. That's an exotic

45:48

place to go. That looks all right. That's

45:50

all right. That looks like- what is that called? Al's.

45:53

Is that a steak and cheese? Submit

46:00

it you bet you took the knee. I

46:02

didn't know that that was a thing that

46:04

it was like that Boston had the steak

46:06

and cheese Yes, that's just a ripoff Maryland

46:09

in Maryland in Maryland there was a place

46:11

PQ subs my buddy me and Greg used

46:13

to go there for lunch You subs you

46:15

know it from now But

46:18

it was all Greek owned and it was

46:20

very like Jacob Jacob I can't talk like

46:22

he was like he's like number 45 stock

46:24

and chess and that would be like the

46:27

order so that was where Cheesesteak

46:29

what was it called in color? He

46:31

was a cheat you call it steak steak

46:34

and cheese What we say I was talking

46:36

chest I can't just I like that number

46:38

45 stock and chest I like that better.

46:41

I got your house. Hoshua. Hoshua. Thanks Josh,

46:44

right? Hoshua

46:48

I I

46:51

that pork sandwich though you guys should promote

46:53

that more than just dumb cheese steak steak

46:55

and cheese have you ever been? Have

46:58

you done dead crow and Wilmington? Yeah, so

47:00

there is a place like

47:02

they put you with the Balas Hotel

47:04

And and I asked every I I

47:06

haven't answered yet Have

47:08

you been no, okay? Well you should that's a great room.

47:10

It's a great room. I'll set you up with a people

47:16

You better hope this sandwich she's talking about is

47:18

good because it's a hundred seats no it's

47:21

Yeah, it's 150. I think So

47:26

It's bigger. Oh, it's not downstairs one

47:29

anymore. No, it's bigger. It's a bigger venue

47:32

That being said though I the hotel

47:34

manager They said they said Guy Fieri

47:36

came for Diners Drive-ins and dives And

47:38

there's a restaurant called the copper penny And

47:41

it's owned by this guy from Philly and

47:43

he does that this is what he did

47:45

on on Triple D was the roast pork

47:47

broccoli Rob sandwich and provolon. It's So

47:50

fuck I did I went there for the two days.

47:52

I was there. I had three out of the four

47:54

meals Diners Drive-ins and dives copper penny if the people

47:56

out there that fuck with it, and they know what

47:59

I'm talking about fucking Me with the triple

48:01

D connect over it let me connect over he said

48:03

triple D And I went tits what and I stopped

48:05

listening to you and I kept thinking of triple D

48:09

Recall what do you know? What

48:12

about the other charges and dies? I tell you

48:14

what the road this that was the roast sandwich

48:16

in in Chicago stinks

48:19

Italian beef it Blows I

48:21

like good one. I don't want to dip don't dip

48:23

my sandwich and make the bread wet. I don't mind

48:25

that Yeah, it's gross. I don't want a wet piece

48:27

of bread who the fuck wants that Dip

48:30

it yourself you dip it. I

48:33

like when you dip it well I'm a

48:35

saunty. We all different sandwiches When you guys

48:37

I did we did when you know I

48:39

did we should all dip everyone dips I

48:42

think when you have the option of living

48:44

I'm fine with that Bobby you

48:46

put your hand up on my hip and then if

48:48

I dip you dip we'll dip will dip

48:51

Yeah dipping it on your own for them

48:53

dipping it and they don't get Christine

48:56

your thoughts you're a dip I

49:01

thought you was a dingbat. They're all

49:03

big Yep,

49:06

yep, I'm so hungry right now All

49:10

this dip talk. I know dude. I'm fucking all this

49:12

talk about triple D. I what is triple D So

49:14

we should do in New York. I slept through the

49:16

fucking flight meal. What was your meal? It would have

49:18

been it would have been like it was eggs and

49:21

avocado toast. No no no it's like eggs and

49:24

You know like fucking a solid good ham

49:26

Delta It was I'll tell

49:28

you exactly what it was it was French toast It

49:31

was Greek yogurt with fruit or

49:33

it was the frittata. It was the

49:35

frittata Yeah, but I still ate

49:37

it. I fucking I live for that. I Go

49:40

to Greek yogurt. I get excited

49:42

about playing food something about getting free food

49:45

cuz I'm so I was growing up Sure

49:50

yeah, I just want other people on

49:52

the plane behind me to see me

49:54

eating yeah, it feels great Feels great

49:56

because I remember watching people in first

49:58

class them get the meal and

50:01

they would come over and drink the drink and

50:03

then the napkin and then the play and I

50:05

would smell it and I'd be like fuck and

50:07

I'd be sitting eating like sun chips or a

50:09

biscuit. Oh yeah. I was so jealous. So I

50:11

had one of those moments today so I go

50:13

to drop my car off at the Hertz and

50:15

then you get on the bus and the bus

50:17

takes you to LAX and it stops first at

50:20

Southwest and it's a packed bus too because it

50:22

was 6am. We're the

50:24

first flight out basically and

50:26

so they drop a bunch of people off at Southwest and

50:28

then they get to the Delta terminal and me

50:30

and then these two girls and this

50:32

family get off and I'm Delta 1

50:35

so they have a special entrance on

50:37

the bottom floor. There's literally like a door guy

50:40

there that checks your name and he goes okay

50:42

you comment and it's like dude there's no way

50:44

then you go through the TSA there's nobody bothering

50:46

you and then they take an elevator up to

50:48

the Delta Sky Lounge. It's

50:50

the most baller shit. The way it should

50:52

be. The way it should be for the amount of

50:55

money that we're spending to fucking fly and

50:57

they all the other people followed

50:59

me to the gate and then I got through

51:01

and then they were like yeah so this is

51:03

for Delta and he goes are you on Delta

51:05

1? They're like no and he's like yeah you

51:07

can't come in. I just look back and I

51:09

was like sorry. You know what

51:12

I get that is when they're boarding the

51:14

plane and people they don't understand the zone

51:16

or what they just go up and

51:18

they're just about to call first class and they

51:20

go up and they give it and I know

51:22

then I just see that blue thing on their

51:24

phone and I just let them go and they

51:27

get up and they go first class and then

51:29

they have to walk by all of us and

51:31

they go oh shit no we're not boarding you

51:33

yet. Beat it. Oh

51:35

I do that when people start doing the early

51:37

lineup and I'm first class I love

51:39

stepping in front of that whole thing. It looks like it's gonna

51:42

be odd but I'm just look I go if they ever said

51:44

anything I'd be like yeah I'm looking over your shoulder you're

51:46

not going in first before me so I'm just gonna I

51:48

know you've been standing here 15 minutes but this is how

51:50

it works. Unfortunately dick face. Here's

51:52

what happens though. Sorry soldier. But also but

51:54

also what else is when when they have

51:56

the line and you've missed your initial. first-class

51:58

zone and so they have like the lines

52:00

for like two or three that's like line

52:03

out the door but then they have that

52:05

other like priority the priority line and you

52:07

just go how about I get sufas I

52:09

get sufas I disappear in a jet way

52:17

I got have you got caught though when you get were

52:19

you boarding and he and all

52:22

of a sudden some wheelchair lady comes up you like oh

52:24

sorry oh yeah yeah back up oh I've

52:26

been stuck I'll tell you what I do always and

52:28

it does backfire sometimes

52:33

is I tell whoever's with me if they're not in

52:36

first class I go yeah but when I

52:38

go up just go with me

52:40

to get on the plane yeah they always

52:42

let that happen always always I say that

52:45

but at least two or

52:47

three times they go you're not first class and

52:49

I'll be like oh they're with me and they

52:52

go okay but they're our first class I go sorry

52:54

and then they have to stand out there and eat

52:56

all that shit stand out the kind of try to

52:58

sneak on first I'm already on

53:00

the plane that doesn't matter to me I'm like well I wasn't

53:02

first can you believe that asshole told me he'd be able to

53:04

go on right behind me what a jag what a total jack

53:09

should we take our final break let's take

53:12

it man let's take a front of break

53:14

Josh Adam Myers is here

53:16

he's gonna be a New York comedy club

53:18

in Stanford awesome club you're gonna love it

53:20

go out there and check it out

53:23

they got a bunch of restaurants

53:25

around Connecticut May 24th Zany's Nashville

53:27

June 10th after that he's gonna

53:29

be in Boston Springfield Massachusetts st.

53:31

Louis Los Angeles for tickets and

53:34

all of the tour dates go

53:36

to Josh Adam Myers comm check

53:38

them out yeah Robert

53:41

Kelly's gonna be in Port Charlotte Florida June 7th and

53:43

8th after that st.

53:45

Louis Timonia Maryland Portsmouth New Hampshire and you

53:47

can see Bobby every Tuesday night at 7

53:49

p.m. at the fat black pussycat lounge the

53:51

comedy seller for tickets and all tour dates

53:53

go to punch up dot live slash Robert

53:56

and I do you Ellie big jay ochre's

53:58

in will be at the Irv improv

54:00

June 7th and 8th. After that

54:02

he'll be on the fully loaded

54:05

festival tour with Burt Kreischer all

54:07

over the country through June. For

54:09

tickets and all other tour dates

54:12

visit bigjaycomedy.com. When

54:17

you go see Josh bring him arugula. Dive

54:21

into the start of summer at

54:23

Whole Foods Market. Check out their

54:25

summer splash event with sales on

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on grill friendly meats like organic

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air chilled chicken breast, beef and

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and cool off with refreshing drinks.

54:45

Kick off your summer and shop

54:47

in store or online at Whole

54:49

Foods Market today. Streaming

54:53

May 23rd only on

54:55

BET+. Miss Tax is

54:57

here and it's time for some grown-ass family

55:00

time. I am a man. Oh you a

55:02

man? That's right. You didn't take my clothes

55:04

off. You didn't take none of it on

55:06

your back. You

55:08

can't ignore your mother forever. I tried. Would you

55:10

like me to backhand you a head? The

55:13

Miss Tax Show. Streaming May 23rd on

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BET+. To sign up and

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learn more visit BET.plus. you