0:00

You can save every day by shopping

0:02

at Whole Foods Market. Seriously. Don't just

0:04

go for the big sales. Walk the

0:07

store and see the savings for yourself.

0:09

In the seafood department, look for the

0:11

yellow low price sign on Whole Foods

0:13

Market responsibly farmed salmon. This fish is

0:16

perfect for the grill. Buttery, fatty, yet

0:18

lean, nice thick fillets. I'm getting hungry

0:20

just thinking about it. And I know

0:22

I can get it at a great

0:25

price. There's so many ways to save

0:27

at Whole Foods Market. Now you know.

0:32

And now the bonfire with Big J

0:34

O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. Can

1:00

you whistle, Joe? I

1:44

can't do any other kind of whistle besides the

1:46

purse lip whistle. I can't do this whistle. I

1:48

can't do this whistle. Ready? Slap.

1:53

You

1:56

know what? One of my favorite things I taught

1:58

Max when he was on the block down the street. I

2:02

Count to ten and then he comes walking

2:04

nice. Oh Oh, that

2:06

made my fucking manhood rock Yeah,

2:09

get in here. I really wish I could do

2:11

that Doesn't

2:16

make sense So

2:22

loud the manly shit right there, you're not

2:24

a whistle jiggy. We can't whistle Nobody

2:28

else can whistle in the room What

2:30

the fuck is that? Merchant

2:36

Come on man with them Fucking

2:43

con geese Fantastic

2:46

work. Oh, yeah,

2:49

I can also switch up my whistles on my lips.

2:51

I Do

2:56

love your bird. You have a great

2:58

bird We

3:05

were playing they evil and Bobby did

3:07

birds Jeremy was one of my favorite

3:17

The Bobby swallow, oh look

3:19

at the Bobby swallow I'm

3:26

telling you right now. Let's go take all your guns

3:28

out there Bobby and just go on a fucking clock

3:31

tower Spree, you know, it's gonna be weird though about

3:33

that because that in a quad when you're a kid

3:36

Drinking beer smoking weed stealing

3:38

shit The fact that you

3:40

could get caught and go to jail was part

3:43

of the excitement of it That was the theory.

3:45

No, but that's the theory behind right that it

3:47

will but it's the legalized drugs

3:50

Available so what's the big but you're gonna

3:52

take away all the fun of being a

3:55

teenager if it's yes Hey

3:57

mom, I'm gonna go get wrecked in the woods with my friends Okay

4:00

honey, go ahead, just be back by

4:02

eight. When the street lights go on,

4:04

you come home. It's

4:07

totally cool. Don't have the cops bring them.

4:09

Cops don't care, Mom. No, the cops don't

4:11

care anymore. You're totally chillin' with it. Jay,

4:13

listen to me, Jay. The cops

4:15

care about everyone. Now you respect them

4:17

and they respect you. Don't

4:19

be fat, big. It really is gonna take away the fun. Like

4:21

I remember going to the park, we used to get a case

4:24

of beer. We used to get

4:26

whatever beer. We'd save all our money all day,

4:28

wait in front of the liquor store for some

4:30

piece of shit to come. He'd

4:32

come up and we'd

4:34

suck him off and then he'd go in and

4:38

then he'd get us all alcohol. And

4:40

then he'd try to get another blowjob and be like, dude,

4:42

you got enough. You already got us the beer. We already

4:44

got the beer. And then we'd

4:46

go back to the park in the corner, have

4:49

ice. We'd get our little cheese

4:51

cups from La Cascia's Bakery and we'd

4:53

sit there and just keep an eye out

4:56

for the cops. And then I remember when

4:58

the cops would come, we fucking just run,

5:00

grab the beer. It was just

5:02

that excitement of, we're not supposed to be doing

5:04

this. I

5:07

think with your thing though, in particular,

5:09

Bobby, I will say even with

5:11

this Chinese mayor you have here, Wu,

5:16

I think even she would think it's

5:18

a bit much for a nine year old to

5:20

be partying in the woods with his friends drinking.

5:22

You were so young. Yeah, but I know young,

5:24

but even as a teenager, 13, 14, 15, to

5:28

not get prosecuted for robbing

5:31

a place, drinking, smoking

5:33

pot, threatening people, you

5:35

take all the fun out of being a teenager, right?

5:37

Bobby, if you were me in charge at that time,

5:39

you'll be living with your mom the entire time. I'll

5:43

make your dad live back with you. You would never have

5:45

to take care of a part of people overnight. I

5:48

love those guys. I miss Barry. Yeah, dude,

5:50

you were the professional. What was that movie

5:52

Johnny Knoxville did? Bob. We're

5:55

the special ed. We just joined the special ed, Pete, kids.

5:58

I submit that whenever I come on. Bob, how about you? Bob, hey Bob,

6:00

hey Barry, how are you? Good, Bob, I'm gonna

6:02

die under there, ha, ha, ha. I'd be like,

6:04

yep, you can have dinner in a couple minutes.

6:06

Damn, man, that guy's. I speak fluent, retardation

6:09

back then. Yeah, yeah, that's fair. I love

6:12

those guys. He's saying he's hungry in a

6:14

series of moans and blanks. I miss you.

6:16

Yeah, the ringer. They were the best. You

6:18

were the ringer, Bob. Retarded people are mentally

6:21

handicapped people, you say now,

6:23

but back then you could say mentally retarded. You

6:25

had to put mentally retarded in front of it

6:27

back then. A clinical idiot, I think also you

6:29

said that. No, that was way

6:31

before. They

6:33

were the fucking best. The slack jaw? I

6:36

live with six of them every day. And

6:39

I used to take them to the beach, that was the best. I

6:41

know. Just walked down the beach. You

6:44

ever take their money when they weren't looking and

6:46

make them have sex with each other? That's

6:48

what I would've done. I would've been pure

6:50

abusive. No, no, no. I'm like, hey, suck

6:52

her boobs. Boobies, yeah, boobies,

6:55

suck them. I'm filming this for the

6:57

dark web. I'm not

6:59

retarded, she's shy. She's just shy, she's not

7:01

retarded. She's just shy and her

7:03

eyes are fucking very far apart. I

7:05

mean, when we did have dinner together, it was like a food fight,

7:07

but. Oh, no matter what, right? They can

7:10

only eat if they flick it across at each other. Tie

7:13

balls. Get a piece of that. Those

7:15

fucking toad tongues. Rigatoni, rigatoni in your

7:17

eye. Tie balls. Tie

7:20

balls. And bah bah bah. Bob, look,

7:22

catapult with my spoon. Yeah,

7:26

well, what are you gonna do? Times have changed, Jay.

7:28

Well, yeah, but you can say whatever. You hate the

7:30

cops, I love the cops. You

7:33

know. I hate the retarded, you love them,

7:35

no. Well, two different people. No, listen, one

7:37

thing you get from that group of people,

7:39

for sure, taking care of a bunch of

7:42

retarded people is honesty, right? Unyielding

7:44

honesty. No, they lie. Really?

7:47

I thought men were like, they'll tell you, they

7:50

like you a lot and they'll go, Bobby,

7:52

your breath's terrible. No, they lie.

7:54

Really? The

7:56

lady that I work for, God forbid if she

7:58

listens to this, her mother. used to

8:00

fill in for me on a

8:02

couple days and nights, sometimes worked

8:04

on Saturdays, her breath was so

8:06

bad. Her teeth were all dead and

8:09

she would answer the phone downstairs and me

8:11

and the other lady, Cindy who worked there,

8:14

the old lesbian lady who got me the job who

8:16

I loved, we would have to

8:19

keep secret Windex and Lysol around.

8:21

So because you'd grab that phone and

8:23

be like, the phone ring, you just go, hey, hey,

8:25

and she just started throwing up because

8:28

her mouth was near it.

8:31

She had terrible breath and none of these guys did. They

8:33

talked face to face with it. It didn't affect them. But

8:36

they also might not know what bad breath is. They

8:38

might not. They might think that's

8:41

just her thing. Yeah. Yeah. Something

8:43

tells me all the handicapped kids weren't super hygienic.

8:46

Well, they were elderly. I

8:48

live with six elderly retarded guys. Okay.

8:51

They were all 50 and up. Nice. And

8:53

they all had jobs. They all woke up every day and

8:55

went to jobs. And

8:57

that's my job. My job was to wake them up

8:59

in the morning and make

9:02

sure they were dressed. They dressed themselves. They

9:04

had to be at work at what? Like at work at like 9 am? 9

9:07

am? You got to wake them up what? Four

9:09

or five? No, exactly. They had

9:11

to wake them up. You wake them up. You wake them

9:13

up at four or five in the morning, get yourself a

9:16

nice five hour head start on those crazy bad situations that

9:18

have to happen. I'm

9:20

freaking out. I'm eating my pie. No, no,

9:22

no, no, no, Nathan. No,

9:26

they would wake themselves up pretty much. By the time

9:28

I was done, like a couple months in, they all

9:30

did their own thing. The

9:33

alarms go off and you just hear a symphony

9:35

of screams. They're all

9:37

up. They're

9:41

up. They

9:43

would get up, make their own breakfast and usually see

9:45

themselves up. But every once in a while, I'd have

9:47

a problem. One night downstairs

9:51

was was Mike, Larry

9:54

and Ed. But Ed

9:57

was missing because Larry ate him. Ed

10:00

was a big guy like you, big guy, but he was

10:02

kind of violent. Mike was

10:04

a little tiny rock dude. He had rings. He was

10:07

almost like a, you look like Voss just

10:09

retarded. Retarded Voss? Oh, just Voss.

10:12

Yes, Voss. Voss. Was Voss in

10:14

a funny mirror? Yeah, but the

10:16

other guy, Lenny, he

10:18

was very repetitive. He'd go, hi Bob, hi Bob,

10:20

hi Bob, good to see you Bob, Bob, hi

10:22

Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Ed's here Bob, Ed's

10:24

here Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, okay Bob,

10:26

I'm getting ready Bob, Bob, I got ready Bob,

10:28

Bob, you're gonna come down? Bob, oh, I'm gonna

10:30

have breakfast Bob, Bob, I love you Bob, Bob,

10:32

okay Bob, okay, alright, alright Lenny, stop, okay, I'll

10:34

stop, I gotta stop Bob, I can't do, you

10:36

said stop, I'm gonna stop, nobody gonna chill out,

10:38

now get your bro, okay Bob, and by the

10:40

end, Lenny, stop! And Ed hated

10:43

Lenny. And tried to kill Lenny

10:45

one morning. And I went down there and Ed

10:47

had a knife. Really? Yeah, he

10:49

was gonna kill, Lenny was crying. And

10:52

I felt terrible because he was scared and crying and

10:54

he was like, this fucking guy, he won't stop, he

10:56

won't stop saying. He's like, Ed's gonna kill me, Ed's

10:58

gonna kill, Ed has a knife, he has a knife,

11:00

he's gonna kill me Bob, Bob, he's gonna kill me

11:03

Bob, Bob. And I came down and said,

11:05

Lenny, get out. I was like, Ed, you gotta stop, you

11:07

gotta put the knife down, you're scaring Lenny, this is ridiculous.

11:09

And then he pulled the knife on me. Why

11:11

would somebody in- And then I- What would somebody after

11:13

the world of mice and men comes out and names

11:15

their retarded kid Lenny? What piece

11:18

of shit does that? Well,

11:21

the guy grabbed- So if you name your kid Chester,

11:23

you might as well say, he's going to be

11:25

a molester. You've set him up for it, he's

11:28

going to be called every day of his whole life. He

11:32

grabbed the knife on me and he came

11:34

at me and I just took a bigger

11:36

knife on the thing. Nice dude. And I

11:39

was only two years out of fucking rehab. Did you

11:41

give me that's not a knife, that's not a knife,

11:43

that's a knife. I went, I

11:46

go, let's do this. I go, you

11:48

want to fucking play, let's play. Westside story dude.

11:50

I go, I'm crazy too motherfucker. He

11:53

went, okay Bob, I'm sorry. And he put the

11:55

knife back. That's crazy. And

11:58

we never had a problem again. It was a good beat it video. Haha,

12:00

yes, both of your artists out to

12:03

give them time. Retarded people are mentally

12:05

challenged people are the sweetest People

12:08

on fucking earth until they go to murder each other

12:10

until they get a knife. No, they're pure spirits They're

12:13

just like I said, they're kind of unfiltered. I feel like

12:15

which is good, you know, it's interesting

12:17

to deal with They're fun

12:19

man. They love they love hard and when they hug

12:21

they hug too hard They

12:24

you should have molested one or two though. Why do you

12:26

talk? Why would I molest them? Why not? Dude, who's gonna

12:28

believe him? Bobby

12:30

comes in and touches my wiener. Why the fuck would

12:32

I do that? Get Lenny out of

12:34

here Bobby

12:37

Bobby molesting me last night Bobby Bobby Bobby touch

12:39

my ding ding Bobby touch my ding ding Bobby

12:41

just my thing Okay, what does that mean? And

12:43

you go? I think he thinks his remote control

12:45

is ding You

12:50

read I should have should I miss an opportunity Wake

12:53

up. You wake you wake him up by jerking him off and

12:56

then when he wakes up Bobby and you go you

12:58

go Okay, you'll

13:00

be the one who's in trouble for lying I'm

13:13

gonna do ding dong. I'm gonna do ding dong. I'm gonna do

13:19

He was like yo, dude, yeah, you

13:21

suck in normal yo, dude, what the fuck you

13:23

doing man? I think you sucked out my extra

13:25

chromosome. Yo, dude. I'm fine now. Yo, do it

13:27

fuck you doing sucking me off I

13:30

don't play that shit. Lenny don't

13:32

play that shit Lenny

13:35

the great man. What a wound to

13:37

I mean was he damaged from

13:39

birth I Think

13:42

they come out mentally. Yeah, so I'm saying like

13:44

and she's young when he's still you can't I

13:46

don't think you can become Mentally

13:48

retarded. I mean brain injury. No,

13:51

that's a brain injury. That's just somebody

13:53

who's just like ha but mentally Mentally

13:57

handicapped mentally retort whatever it is

14:00

crazy but they that's the

14:02

way you are and they know before you

14:04

now they know before they're born you can

14:06

choose to not do that

14:09

but I if I we had to make that decision I

14:11

told Don if we have a if we have a baby

14:13

that comes out with Down syndrome

14:16

we're keeping it no you eat like

14:18

now I'm gonna eat it there's so

14:20

have you ever hung out with a mentally

14:22

retarded person no

14:24

yes I mean really just

14:27

hung out with him not Christine

14:30

Christine is mentally ill oh that's a different

14:32

thing I call it retarded no you didn't

14:34

medicine for her okay yeah she's have a

14:36

big long tongue there's medicine

14:39

for regular retardation to Bobby

14:41

nighttime molestation you guys listen

14:43

my research while it's

14:46

a little controversial

14:50

watch this watch this

14:52

Oh Bobby Oh Bobby oh Bobby

14:54

oh hey thanks man what

14:57

the hell did you suck my dick but only

14:59

I could do it I saw mighty it works

15:01

I was the only one who knew how to

15:03

do it my technique Bobby's got green mile Bobby

15:05

can green mile retard out of your dick Bobby

15:07

thank you

15:09

dude how long was that

15:31

retarded for do like 36 years

15:35

it's like Awakenings we brought the nearer back to life

15:37

what and you find out if Bobby doesn't continue to

15:39

suck your dick you go back to being retarded I

15:42

need my fix man I'm here I'm starting to

15:49

get a little goofball ish again I'm enjoying I

15:51

got I cut myself with scissors the other day

15:54

you just sucked me off man is that his

15:56

job how much is that sir 75

16:00

dollars, 75 dollars. Come

16:02

to someone call Bobby, call Bobby.

16:05

We're starting awakenings.

16:09

Aww. My brother's quality of life is very low.

16:12

He's completely an invalid. He goes, not

16:14

for long, dude. Dude,

16:16

I got you, dude. I

16:21

like the release. I'm just,

16:23

nah. Your brother's fine. I'm

16:26

at a barbecue just hanging out. Hey, what's up, man?

16:29

Hey, bro, listen real quick. Big

16:32

fan of the barf out. Cracker crackle. See

16:34

my sister over there drooling into her cup? You

16:37

mind? And I had to eat pussy too. Yeah, you go.

16:39

You know what I got to be honest with you? I've

16:42

never tried this from a pussy before, but maybe I can.

16:45

No, no, no. Duh.

16:49

Don't retarded. I don't work on girls. But

16:52

I just, but I got to eat her pussy. You got to eat

16:54

her pussy, though. And no one's mad at you. He tried everything he

16:56

could. Did he eat her pussy

16:58

for like two hours? I can only cure kids after they're

17:01

18. I can't cure. Sorry,

17:03

guys. Sorry, guys. You

17:05

have to be retarded for 18. I

17:08

guess 13 if we go to Mexico, but I'm

17:10

not going to feel good about it. In

17:12

Iceland, I can blow them at 12. Yeah. You

17:15

start making noise and you're like, come on, kid. You get a

17:18

little wean in your mouth. Come on, kid. Don't

17:20

make it weird for me. It's already weird for

17:22

me. Are people with Down syndrome allowed to make

17:24

porn? Yes. Why not?

17:27

They're adults. They can do whatever they want. At a certain age, they

17:29

can do whatever they want. Let's see some. No,

17:31

no. They're fine now. I don't want to see.

17:33

I do not want to see Down syndrome. How

17:37

do we go from

17:39

the nicest people in the world to solving Down

17:42

syndrome to them just by them? You

17:44

tell me a nicer thing to do for the nicest people in the world and have someone fuck them. I

17:47

don't think they can because maybe you eat your pussy

17:49

until they're not down syndrome anymore. Down

17:52

porn. There's no way. I'll let that

17:54

work out right now. How do you have the... One

17:56

billion percent. my

18:00

life. Yeah, absolutely. It's

18:02

leisure. Yes. They're adults. They

18:04

know the ram of the key. Some

18:08

of them are high functioning and live on their own. You

18:11

think Corky asked everybody every car he wanted to buy? You

18:13

had to ask somebody? That guy was living large. And

18:15

not for nothing. There's a couple girls that

18:17

have Down syndrome that are kind

18:20

of hot. It's the bonfire everybody.

18:22

And you're listening to the podcast version, which is

18:24

free. Half of it's free. You get half the

18:26

show. Do you really want half? No, don't you

18:28

feel like you missed the other parts? Right?

18:31

It's like being half jacked off.

18:33

Sign up right now. It's seriousxm.com/bonfire

18:35

to subscribe for the full show.

18:37

Plus you get all the music

18:39

channels. You get Howard Stern. You

18:42

get all the other comedy channels,

18:44

sports, and to get our full

18:46

show, sign up for a serious

18:48

XM subscription at seriousxm.com/ bonfire.

18:50

Support our show. Subscribe.

18:55

We know powerful gifts come from

18:57

powerful places. That's why Jefferson's

18:59

Ocean and Jefferson's Ocean Rye are

19:01

aged at sea in

19:03

unpredictable and unrelenting elements.

19:06

Boulder, richer, more

19:08

caramelized gift, a new

19:11

adventure. Jefferson's Ocean

19:13

aged at the mercy of the sea. Like

19:16

pretty. There's that model. That model? Have you seen

19:19

the Down syndrome model? The model could

19:29

get it. Dude, I've dated girls uglier than her.

19:32

Absolutely. 100% I've dated girls

19:34

with fucking weirder faces than that. I banged a chick

19:36

from Salem, Mass. That would fuck it way uglier than

19:38

that. I'm not saying I'd fuck her. Gorgeous. I'm not

19:40

trying to say I would fuck her, but I would

19:42

try to suck the Down syndrome out of her pussy

19:45

and blow it away. If that worked, then I would

19:47

fuck her. I still feel like

19:49

I was doing something mean to somebody because whenever she,

19:51

like the smile and laugh always is where you're like,

19:53

when they get like that, like, ha, ha. You're

19:56

like, oh. You know how fun

19:58

she is? Just next level. stupid.

20:00

She's not, I mean she's pretty

20:03

girl man. She's jacked also. She's

20:05

in shape, great body, her

20:07

face is you know. Jacob you

20:09

would. Come on Jacob, look, bring, go back

20:12

up to that one. Jacob totally would. Stop

20:14

it. Jacob. Jacob you, oh my

20:16

god. Jacob, you're right. Are you crazy?

20:19

Why? Why? Jacob, you bring

20:21

her home, you crate train her for a

20:23

couple months. The smile gives up

20:26

the problem. The smile doesn't give her the problem.

20:28

It always has to go up high and

20:30

a lot of bottom tooth. No Bob, Bob

20:32

you wouldn't. I don't know why they

20:35

when they smile they always have to look up to Jesus.

20:37

Yeah. So you see the bottom of their top teeth. High

20:41

functioning too? Yeah, she's high functioning. I know what

20:43

you're saying dude. Yeah. I don't get it. High

20:46

functioning dude. She's high functioning dude. You can take

20:48

her out and she'll understand a movie. She'll get

20:50

on top, she knows how the motion works. I'm

20:52

out. Why? Why? Because you have to watch retarded

20:55

movies the rest of your life. Play a clip

20:57

of her talking. Yeah dude. It's not gonna be

20:59

in English. Wait,

21:02

she's not English? No. Wait, wait,

21:04

let's listen. Let me hear her talking Spanish.

21:06

Here we go. That's

21:15

all him. Sorry. Here it is. She

21:18

just did it right when she was coming up. This

21:20

guy's yapping. What

21:27

if she starts off at first and didn't go. You're right.

21:32

That's never not gonna be funny. You could do that

21:34

tomorrow out of the blue. Dude,

21:45

come on with this. She

21:55

could get it dude. Sounds like regular Spanish to

21:57

me. Oh

22:02

Puppy no likey puppy

22:05

no cool. Oh paino

22:10

Bingo, baby, dude look at her

22:12

walk. She's got a little fucking goofball

22:14

midsection. So what? Was

22:23

able to find a A

22:27

video of a down syndrome person

22:29

that's actually having a enjoyable sex

22:32

Okay, that's an ad Christine Those

22:35

are Don's old tits. Oh There

22:39

we go. Oh god, those weren't are they

22:41

both? Oh the one guy's norms. Oh,

22:43

they're on a hospital Let's

22:46

hear if the sound sound like fucking the

22:48

fat girl. I don't know Which

22:51

is a big yeah, maybe she's just No,

22:54

I think what I say down. So it doesn't

22:56

say down. So now it says fucking the fat

22:58

girl You think it would stop the kid has

23:00

down syndrome Heavy doesn't

23:03

yes. Look at his yeah, he has it.

23:05

He's banging with sweatpants on I thought she

23:07

did from her face No, he did. He

23:09

has he has oh, this girl has my

23:11

old tits I Wait

23:16

a second, what if it was Jay? That

23:19

could be me I could be I could be the guy or

23:21

the girl in this video Here's

23:24

your guy in the girl boat built like me that

23:26

is flat asses the guy has your lower half and

23:28

she has your upper Get

23:32

no answer Come

23:38

on don't be a cock. Do you get back to those geniuses? It

23:42

wasn't too much Christine because nobody was retarded there Yeah

23:44

But you find me some fucking retarded porn and

23:46

don't wake us up until you do I

23:48

did mentally handicapped porn Maybe there woke up.

23:50

Did you write retard? Can't

23:55

write retard sex Bing

24:00

might give you retails. Is that her boyfriend? No way.

24:02

That's Tony Robbins. No, it's not

24:05

motivational speaker Oh, no, it's not.

24:07

That's not Tony Robbins. That's her brother. Her

24:09

brother got all the good genes, huh? To

24:12

Dia. No says happy birthday my

24:14

brother Dia Where's

24:17

that right here? You can translate You're

24:20

crazy. Happy birthday my brother. She got us

24:22

compliment. Oh muchos mias I'm sure she's calling

24:24

him my brother and it's not actually her

24:27

brother She's trying to friendzone because she's that

24:29

hot Jacob you would fuck this chick. You're

24:31

so full of shit Skank

24:33

fest late night. She

24:36

comes back to your room. She follows you cuz she

24:38

she's like the back of your head Oh, yeah, dude,

24:40

you come in there. She's just fidget spinning in the

24:42

dark. Where have you been? I Thought

24:46

you were done. Yeah, this is

24:48

the only thing stopping me from

24:50

biting your fucking cheeks off right now I thought

24:53

you got cook me salmon I Know

24:58

you're not I hear 100% in no I'm

25:00

not if we didn't if we didn't tell you

25:02

she had I just said this girl likes you

25:05

and I didn't show you her Smiling ever you

25:07

wouldn't know that no you would why body's too

25:09

great. What about in shape? What about the picture

25:11

down the left where she's covering her mouth with

25:13

her hand? Come

25:16

on. Oh, no, that's the hand really showed a lot of

25:18

it. She has retarded handsome. How oh Oh

25:22

Naked she's taking a shower dude a

25:24

hydrating shit. Oh, she's brown does

25:27

she she has to wear Oh, she has to or

25:29

else she gets confused by her own tits and thinks

25:31

other people looking at her and she works My

25:37

chest eyes my chest eyes He's

25:44

pretty J. I think you would you're a piece of shit

25:46

there Jacob. What do you do first? 100%

25:49

would not you're pretty do first The

25:51

other video of the fact row was built

25:53

like me go with my body or do

25:55

you fuck this lady? Yeah, exactly you the

25:58

other one or the other better And

26:00

let's be honest with you, they're

26:03

both not going to be set to your diet afterwards

26:06

for food. I'll tell you this. I'll tell

26:08

you this. One's

26:10

going to smell better than the other one. Yeah. One

26:13

eats all foods, the other one can eat soft foods.

26:15

And the other one sweats out her foods. That's true.

26:17

You're going to smell it. It's going to be like

26:20

boiled ham. Yeah. It's going to

26:22

smell like Irish dinner. The

26:24

Down syndrome girl is going to smell

26:27

awesome. Awesome. Awesome. She

26:29

takes care of her. Yes. Yeah.

26:32

If you're putting, like force me, I have to pick one

26:34

or the other. Yes, we are. Then I'm

26:36

picking her. Bing. So you would do

26:38

it. Yes. If

26:41

I had no choice. You have no choice except the

26:43

other one. He'll take Down syndrome over

26:45

fat. No. I mean,

26:47

you got to be in shape if you want

26:49

to be with this guy. You're such a sweet

26:52

guy. You got to keep it tight. That's sweet.

26:54

So you'll fuck any in-shape retarded person over any

26:56

fat person. Yes. No. What

27:00

do you mean no? You just said it. A

27:02

proportional fat one. Was that for me? Are you saying you

27:04

fucked me over some of these retarded people? Jacob, would you

27:07

rather fuck me or that Down syndrome girl? No.

27:10

I can't, like she's

27:13

like, whoa, what did you dodge that question for?

27:15

Wow. What's happening? Oh,

27:17

yeah. I'm going to pick you. Oh, thank God. I'll

27:20

make you feel fantastic, dude. You're asking me exactly. Here's

27:23

my picture, Jacob. This part of my arms,

27:25

my under forearms are holding your thighs back.

27:27

You're under your thighs and I'm really working

27:30

your butt. Oh, you're getting fucked. You're not

27:32

the guy. No, no, no, no. I'm on

27:34

my knee. I don't know. I'm

27:36

going to try to suck. I'm going to do

27:38

my green mile move, but there's nothing coming out. Yeah.

27:41

You actually make him retarded. Yeah. I'm

27:43

going to make you retarded and then I'm going to cure your retardation.

27:45

No, I come in and I come in and I come in and

27:47

I'm going to. I don't think

27:49

Jay wants to suck a dick, but I think he wants

27:51

to prove how good he'd be at it. We

27:54

all do. We all do. What

27:56

are you, crazy? Welcome to the world. I'm a

27:58

man. How many women have said. over

28:00

the past five years I hear like public stuff

28:02

or other podcasts or some women go guys

28:05

are far more obsessed with our guys dick sizes

28:07

and seeing big dicks and everything I go yeah

28:09

I bet that's very true absolutely I just I don't think

28:11

girls really overly give a shit too much of a guy

28:14

pulling his cock out in a room most of them be

28:16

like oh get out of here I if a guy if

28:18

someone goes a guy puts cock out in

28:20

the room next to us and you can just walk in and

28:22

see I'd be like all right Bobby vamp for a second I'm

28:24

gonna go look at this guy's dick yeah I'll go take a

28:26

peek I'd be like Jacob you vamp I'm going with him yeah

28:29

Jacob vamp me and Zima

28:31

go see we can cure this guy's retardation damn Bobby

28:36

with a green mile tour that's the way our tour

28:38

should be called Bobby Bobby jig

28:41

on right down sucking off your retard your

28:43

retard that's our meet-and-greet if you

28:46

have anyone smelling challenging your family and Bobby could

28:48

green mile them through their genitals doesn't

28:50

work for chicks keep your fucking a hot ass

28:52

down soon girls home but only lasts for six

28:54

months I can't

28:56

find this is from way early in the show

28:58

I can't find her labia other pictures of it

29:00

this picture I'm looking for it but says she did

29:03

a gangbang with 620 men yeah it wasn't though

29:06

who cares it's the Houston 500

29:10

she did that gang that's a Houston 620 it

29:12

says the world's oh she did another

29:14

one after that she's banging guys like

29:16

zip codes yes they they bring guys

29:20

repeat what a pig okay

29:22

Jacob she's a woman trying to make her way in

29:24

the world I

29:26

mean she is a pig okay what do

29:28

you say how

29:31

long is the six and a half hours

29:33

like doing the original thing David Lynch's

29:38

original Boone why do you know what do you think

29:40

Chappell and Dane on stage do you have to go

29:42

over a hundred guys no by

29:44

the way absolutely not it's an hour and

29:46

a half I promise you it's it's edited

29:49

this I didn't do it live that room

29:51

just must smell like fucking bleach and feet

29:53

oh my god bleachy sure dude

29:55

and how do you how do you do they have

29:58

I mean there has to be a technique turn They're

30:00

not getting hurt. No, they get hurt. Really?

30:04

Yeah, yeah. Why? Well,

30:06

one, I think they pick not like enormous dick. They kind

30:08

of get like these gang things they tend to do like

30:10

the record breakers. They get schlubs. They open

30:12

it up to fans because you want a bunch of guys

30:15

like me to walk in with their big bellies

30:17

and little dorks and just not do too much

30:19

damage. They don't have like, like,

30:21

C-20 like porn dicks coming in. But do you

30:23

have a certain time? Does everybody get to come?

30:26

I think that's the whole idea is the lower

30:28

thing. It's penetrations. They come multiple times because they

30:30

don't have 620 guys. There's like

30:32

70 guys. So you go a bunch. So

30:34

you go, do you go

30:36

until you come or you just pump like five times

30:38

and then you get a back out? Kristy, bring up

30:41

some World's Biggest Gang Band footage. I know. Are

30:43

there rules? Like a hotdog eating dog? No,

30:45

they call. Tons of them

30:48

come, yes. But do you have to, do

30:50

they have to come before you move on or can

30:52

you just pump? Oh, no, you pump a little, get

30:55

out of there. Oh, so you pump a little. Okay,

30:57

so. Then she's jerking you

30:59

off and you rotate around her. She's just

31:01

a machine, dude, a machine of pump and

31:03

come. Oh, God, this is. There's

31:05

this big lady they had cut the cut off. Oh,

31:07

this guy's got a little tiny one. Yeah,

31:10

there's some good fucking way. But they just, my point

31:12

is they don't do a bunch of porn dudes because.

31:14

Right. Those are pretty big. Those are

31:16

fucking actually really big. That's a big one. Oh,

31:18

God. Okay, so she's. Oh,

31:21

Ron Jeremy. Rest in peace. I mean,

31:23

I did he die? No, he's a piece of shit. He's

31:25

a jail brother. He's pretty much dead right now.

31:28

Oh, God. Yeah, dude, what?

31:30

Little load. I don't. I

31:32

came. I know. Oh, God.

31:34

Oh, there's someone in her butt. This is.

31:37

Oh, she's getting. They're having girls also do

31:39

it with strap on. Does that count? That's

31:41

counting for sure. She's not just going to

31:43

waste the fucking pole pounding. So, so they

31:46

just all day long. What do you get

31:48

a t-shirt? Like, you know, t-shirt. No,

31:52

it's like playoff basketball. They put it in there. So

31:54

the whole audience is wearing the same shit. This

31:57

is stupid. Who eats her pussy? Oh!

32:01

there's the champ dude that guy's the

32:03

champ he's the last guy 497 I

32:05

mean come she

32:09

was the girl Jacob you're a stern fan too she

32:12

was there high-pitch Eric was one of them

32:14

no no no no he

32:16

did again he did again but that was just that

32:18

that was a that was a whack-pack gangbang that's pretty

32:21

fun to watch too music behind it

32:23

was just but yeah no she's the one do you

32:25

remember she went on a date with a high school

32:27

kid to his prom she went to his prom with

32:29

them and then they sort of have like

32:31

a semi relationship almost like they were seeing each other a

32:33

little bit but she was on Howard

32:35

Stern with a she went to its kids prom with

32:37

them fucked them

32:40

I've never been in a gangbanging like this I

32:43

don't understand it it takes it's

32:46

just so whack to me just all

32:48

these guys hang around keeping their

32:50

cocks hard oh I love watching

32:52

gangbang pornography I don't

32:54

really have much thing

32:57

of being like like the 13th guy

32:59

in that line like you go in

33:01

now and do it like she

33:05

had to have had a bacterial infection

33:07

well we had we're worried about we

33:09

had a vagina Christine you have a

33:11

vagina look what what would it

33:14

I mean you're a whole new hypothetically what is 620

33:16

dicks gonna do to

33:20

your vagina I only had one I can't imagine

33:22

you but how much how many dicks I can't

33:24

that's not six hundred twenty dicks but

33:27

you know what the it's six it's

33:29

something even if it's a repeat yes it's a bunch

33:31

of repeat even if it's 360 different

33:33

times another person's coming in and piling your cut

33:35

it's ridiculous Christine how many dicks would it take

33:38

to get to the center of your tootsie pop

33:41

one three how

33:43

many penises have you had Christine I have no

33:45

idea that's a lie and

33:48

it's not a lie you've had four four

33:51

penises only at once I don't know I

33:57

have no idea oh you don't know the answer to that

33:59

question You know what, I'm blindfolded half the

34:01

time. Christine, don't answer that. But I

34:03

would love to know, what's the most, what's

34:05

the most, what's the most

34:08

you would ever do fantasy wise? I

34:10

don't know. Well, have

34:12

you ever fanned- I feel like anything over

34:14

five would be obscene. I

34:17

thought two. I thought two, but God bless you. God

34:20

bless you, you hoe. Wow. Well, I kind of

34:22

knew her answer. I knew her answer at five.

34:24

More than double what I thought before. Wow. I

34:26

knew I thought two too, man. I know her

34:28

answer at five just from like fucking discussions we've

34:30

had about stuff, you know, jokey discussions about stuff

34:32

like that before. So I knew five

34:34

was the answer, but it is funny to say I

34:36

think anything over five is obscene. It's pretty funny. He

34:39

goes, most people probably think going over two

34:42

is batshit crazy. Yeah. I

34:44

mean, one is ridiculous to most people.

34:47

Now, the only thing in the world I want

34:49

to see though is Christine fucking six guys at

34:51

one time because this has become obscene. You

34:54

should get those guys from Philly. Are

34:56

you garbage guys? Yeah, I guess I'm all you. Yeah, are you

34:58

garbage? How many guys have been with it once? And when does

35:01

it become obscene? Yeah, when does

35:03

it become garbage? When does it become totally obscene?

35:05

I think it becomes garbage at two. We

35:09

had Jasmine Sinclair in here years ago who did the 300

35:12

person gangbang world record before Houston

35:14

and she was like, they talked

35:16

about like packing her with ice

35:18

at points. There's no sense to it though.

35:20

It doesn't like, it's not like you're, what

35:22

are you getting? I

35:25

don't know what there is for the her and the breaking the

35:27

record and how it's going to hold up when you're older and

35:29

be like, I broke the world's gangbang record three times. Who

35:32

cares? But

35:34

it's definitely, what

35:36

I like about the porn of that. You can't

35:38

get five out of my head. I thought you

35:40

were just going to say two. It was a

35:42

crazy answer for sure. Maybe three, five. I like

35:45

this. That's wild. You know that I've slept

35:47

with many men. I do. I

35:49

know now and I know you want more and you're

35:51

fucking with anything. Wow. I guess

35:53

six starts getting dicey. Six

35:57

is starting to get a count. It's just nuts.

36:00

That was just crazy shit I'm not

36:02

gonna had sex the side and then

36:04

at once I'm just saying i think

36:06

oversized an oil rig them just you're

36:08

portraying as a jury to say me

36:10

at with his he said in fantasy

36:12

be you were like over five years

36:14

have seen my five down bank famously

36:16

is not have seen as essential harm

36:18

us know below I like about that

36:20

kind of them were no with the

36:22

gang bang record breaks. Are.

36:25

I'm a big fan of

36:27

the D. P. Know

36:30

the de. Los.

36:33

Mags faking. it looks like the the d

36:35

hollywood of like porn site that would I

36:37

like about that is this girl's soldiers in

36:39

the porn and is just so loose and

36:42

and ready to go. There is just she's

36:44

talking about catch to get a water real

36:46

quick like while a guys just like fucking

36:48

pounding her but she's like are you need

36:50

to get you harlow been sick sucking cock

36:52

objects if anyone get me war that I

36:54

be great just gonna I For some reason

36:56

I like the reckless abandon of Just like

36:59

is exactly why I need it. Yeah I

37:01

like the build army, I like the romance.

37:03

I like kissing. Allied. Kissing

37:05

and porn I like. I don't like when

37:07

they caught right to I I hate when

37:09

they births there in character and then they

37:12

just break it and I normally just suck

37:14

it the second. Know. Stay in

37:16

it. I guess I that's

37:18

why it's having a like this. because

37:20

it's so behind the scenes bullshit. There's.

37:23

Nothing in it for me to

37:25

fantasy because I have or that

37:27

Irish Catholic guilt I need something

37:29

to in my brain to make

37:31

it not bad. You remains the

37:33

same type in slough or into

37:35

Reddit slough, her porn. Just.

37:38

check zone just in silver comes up and

37:40

just go to post now says well like

37:42

these to some of these big videos they

37:44

showed the girls off to the side like

37:46

getting soft as in in street clothes just

37:48

because their job is like a keep these

37:50

two guys hard to go back in and

37:52

is just some girls like on her phone

37:54

and g your like oh yes sir pounds

37:56

my smash i don't know i find that

37:59

so hot lights That they're just like, no, I'm

38:01

here to suck cock and get fucked a little bit

38:03

for the thing. That's just terrible. I would

38:05

judge it in life. How do you write that on a,

38:07

like a resume? Fluffer? Yeah.

38:09

Hmm, I think this speaks for itself. Oh

38:12

yeah, yeah. Well, really funny, because the girl

38:15

just looks like another day at the office.

38:17

Ugh. She's... That

38:19

her job is like a PA on a

38:22

movie set. Like... Better one,

38:24

but it's the same idea though, yeah. Get me

38:26

a coffee and there's this girl in a plastic

38:28

chair just keeping dicks hard. Yeah. That's

38:30

so fucking wack. I know and they show the video of

38:32

that is the best video because that girl's just like, oh

38:34

yeah, yeah, yeah, you need me to get you hard real

38:36

quick, I'll suck your coffee. That's the girl, that's the massage

38:38

girl at the strip club. Dude, I thought it was our

38:40

friend, our friend Matt, he used to be

38:43

a bartender at Stamp New York years ago. All

38:45

the guys in Stamp New York had a... Such

38:48

a... It's a bit weird. Yeah,

38:50

they're grabbing her boobs tactically. It's

38:53

all technical, it's like I need you. Yeah. It's

38:55

like, this is... Go

38:57

to the other one. Oh, let me feel your up a

38:59

little. She has a fluffer outfit on, that's like a... You

39:01

threw it on Reddit, I said. I looked

39:03

on Reddit, it didn't come up, but oh, I'll try

39:05

it again. I didn't even watch it. I have a

39:08

lot of fluffer posts. Listen, dude. This is fucking crazy.

39:11

Yeah, I like the point that's like very... Yeah.

39:13

Like, I don't know. That's why I said, I even watched like those... I

39:17

go on this thing called Thunder Thoughts is the

39:19

thing, it's just girl fights. Yeah. But most girl

39:21

fights at some point, titty pops out. Yeah. Christine

39:24

goes on five is good, six is gross.

39:28

Spill the wine. We gotta take a break.

39:30

I know we do. We have to take

39:32

a break. I'm sorry to bust out of

39:35

a fluffer porn jade. Bobby Kelly, I know.

39:37

We're almost getting good. We're getting good, but

39:39

we know... Bobby Kelly's gonna be in Port

39:41

Charlotte, Florida. That's this Friday and Saturday, everybody.

39:43

After that, St. Louis, Timonia,

39:46

Maryland, Portsmouth, New Hampshire. Bring the kids

39:48

down if they need, you know, if

39:50

they're above age and they're mentally... Oh,

39:53

yes. Handicapped. Bring them down, I'll help them. If

39:55

you have any Down Syndrome people in Your family that

39:57

you would like, it's gotta be you guys. What's

40:00

the guy's I can't promise we girl

40:02

game I could change yeah system right

40:04

arm was shame leave seeing up one

40:07

time here after a huge on what

40:09

do to episode body goes looks as

40:11

if you one thing and so you're

40:13

going to skyrocket snus box. And

40:17

then as a nation access to the moon.

40:21

Ah makes you has Bobby every Tuesday

40:23

nights seven pm. The Fabric Pussycat Lounge

40:26

The Comedy Cellar for tickets info gonna

40:28

punch up.lives less Robert Go. Interesting. Move

40:30

your head and then ah, Then.

40:32

Again, except for June eleventh

40:34

American Juniors and July thirtieth.

40:37

Yeah, Loser. Below

40:39

the news or bill with a two tickets ever going to

40:41

give way to sans than to figure out how to do

40:43

it? And ah Michigan Bee

40:45

Jay's have a the Irvine a

40:47

private crowther June seventh and eighth

40:49

at his didn't have any fully

40:51

loaded tour. With everybody

40:53

except populists. Ah for the

40:55

month of June and then

40:58

Bogata by of South Kill

41:00

and it at the theater

41:02

in Atlantic City July. Twenty

41:04

seven. Get so sick it's

41:06

get him now. Although the

41:08

tour dates Big J comedy.com

41:10

someday punch up.live/big J something

41:12

when he gets insist again

41:14

and you may have a

41:16

my fantasy had any as

41:18

sad as that injectors. This.

41:20

Baja he cured

41:23

ah Saddam was.

41:33

We know powerful gifts. Jefferson's

41:38

oh sry or age. On

41:41

for on Roman I'm

41:44

movie rich. Com

41:47

os gift a new

41:49

adventure, Jefferson's ocean seeds

41:51

and the most. Of

41:53

the. coverage

42:01

Welcome to Naughty Gadda Island.

42:04

This season on Naughty Gadda Island. When

42:07

we were new, they spoiled me. They even

42:09

gave me a phone. But then,

42:12

it's like I didn't exist. Don't

42:15

take Gadda Gadda from your wireless carrier. Now

42:17

it's Metro, get that new customer feeling again

42:19

and again. Introducing Metro Flats. Free 5G phones

42:21

when you join. Same deals with new customers

42:23

when you stay. Only at Metro by

42:26

T-Mobile. Just bring your number and ID and sign

42:28

up for an eligible plan. After 12 months, trade in and get our best

42:30

deals on select devices.