0:00

Say goodbye to your credit card

0:02

rewards. Greedy corporate megastores, led by

0:04

Walmart and Target, are pushing for

0:06

law in Congress to take away

0:08

your hard-earned cash back and travel

0:10

points to line their pockets. The

0:12

Durbin Marshall Credit Card Bill would

0:14

enact harmful credit card routing mandates

0:17

that would end credit card rewards

0:19

as we know it. If you

0:21

love your credit card rewards, tell

0:23

your lawmakers, hands off, my rewards.

0:25

Tell them to oppose the Durbin

0:27

Marshall Credit Card Bill. Hill

0:31

makes a mistake in his

0:33

critical biology exam. Should

0:35

he fess up and take the consequences or

0:38

keep his secret forever? H.G.

0:41

Wells, today on the Classic

0:43

Tales Podcast. Welcome

0:56

to this vintage episode of the

0:58

Classic Tales Podcast. Thank you for

1:00

listening. A vintage episode

1:02

is released every Tuesday. If

1:05

the show has helped you find comfort,

1:07

peace, or a quiet place to

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mentally rest, please help us to

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going to classictalesaudiobooks.com and

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becoming a supporter. New stories

1:18

are coming your way on Friday. Keep

1:21

an ear open for our Kickstarter for

1:23

The Golden Triangle, the seventh novel

1:25

in the Arzen Lu Pan series. We'll

1:28

let you know when we're ready to kick off. And

1:31

now, A Slip Under

1:33

the Microscope by H.G.

1:35

Wells. Outside

1:45

the laboratory windows was a watery

1:47

grey fog and within, a close

1:50

warmth in the yellow light

1:53

of the green-shaded gas lamps that

1:55

stood two to each table down

1:57

its narrow length. This

2:00

table stood a couple of glass

2:02

jars containing the mangled vestiges of

2:04

the crayfish, mussels, frogs,

2:06

and guinea pigs upon which the students had been

2:08

working, and down the side of

2:10

the room, facing the windows, were

2:13

shelves, bearing bleached dissections of

2:15

spirits surmounted by a

2:17

row of beautifully executed anatomical drawings

2:19

in white wood frames and

2:22

overhanging a row of cubicle lockers. All

2:25

the doors of the laboratory were paneled

2:28

with blackboard, and

2:30

on these were the half-erased diagrams

2:32

of the previous day's work. The

2:35

laboratory was empty, say for the demonstrator

2:37

who sat near the preparation room door

2:40

and silent, say for

2:42

a low continuous murmur and

2:44

the clicking of the rocker microtome at which

2:46

he was working. What

2:49

scattered about the room were traces

2:51

of numerous students, handbags, polished boxes

2:53

of instruments, in one place

2:55

a large drawing covered by newspaper, and

2:58

in another a prettily bound copy

3:00

of News from Nowhere, a book

3:03

oddly at variance with its surroundings. These

3:06

things had been put down hastily as

3:08

the students had arrived and hurried at once

3:11

to secure their seats in the adjacent lecture

3:13

theater. Deadened by

3:15

the closed door, the measured

3:17

accents of the professor sounded as a

3:19

featureless muttering. Presently,

3:22

faint through the closed windows came

3:24

the sound of the oratory clock

3:26

striking the hour of eleven. The

3:29

clicking of the microtome ceased and the

3:31

demonstrator looked at his watch, rose, thrust

3:33

his hands into his pockets, and

3:36

walked slowly down the laboratory towards

3:38

the lecture theater door. He

3:41

stood listening for a moment, and

3:43

then his eye fell on the little volume

3:45

by William Morris. He picked

3:47

it up, glanced at the title,

3:49

smiled, opened it, looked

3:51

at the name on the flyleaf, ran

3:53

the leaves through with his hand, and

3:55

put it down. Almost immediately

3:57

the even murmur of the lecturer

4:01

There was a sudden burst of pencils rattling on

4:03

the desks in the lecture theater, stirring,

4:05

a scraping of feet, and a number

4:08

of voices speaking together. Then

4:10

a firm footfall approached the door

4:12

which began to open and stood

4:14

ajar as some indistinctly heard question

4:16

arrested the newcomer. The

4:19

demonstrator turned, walked slowly back

4:21

past the microtome, and

4:23

left the laboratory by the preparation room door.

4:26

As he did so, first one and

4:29

then several students carrying notebooks entered the

4:31

laboratory from the lecture theater and

4:33

distributed themselves among the little tables or

4:35

stood in a group about the doorway.

4:38

They were an exceptionally heterogeneous

4:41

assembly, for while Oxford and

4:43

Cambridge still recoil from the blushing

4:45

prospect of mixed classes, the

4:47

College of Science anticipated America in

4:50

the matter years ago, mixed

4:52

socially too for the prestige of the

4:54

college's high, and its scholarships,

4:56

free of any age limit, dredged

4:58

deeper even than to those of

5:00

the Scotch universities. The

5:03

class numbered one and twenty, but

5:06

some remained in the theater questioning the

5:08

professor, copying the blackboard diagrams before they

5:10

were washed off or examining

5:12

the special specimens he had produced to

5:14

illustrate the day's teaching. Of

5:17

the nine who had come into the

5:19

laboratory, three were girls, one of whom

5:21

a little fair woman wearing spectacles and

5:23

dressed in grayish green was

5:25

peering out of the window at the fog, while

5:27

the other two, both wholesome-looking,

5:30

plain-faced schoolgirls, unrolled

5:32

and put on the brown Holland

5:34

apron they wore while dissecting. Of

5:37

the men, two went down the

5:39

laboratory to their places, one

5:41

a pallid, dark-bearded man who had once been

5:43

a tailor, the other

5:45

a pleasant-featured, ruddy young man of twenty,

5:48

dressed in a well-fitting brown suit, young

5:51

Wedderburn, the son of Wedderburn the

5:53

eye specialist. The others

5:55

formed a little knot near the theater door. One

5:59

of these a dwarf A soft, spectacled figure with

6:01

a hunchback sat on a bent wood

6:03

stool. Two others, one

6:05

a short, dark youngster, and the

6:07

other a flaxen-haired, reddish-complexioned man stood

6:10

leaning side by side against the

6:12

slate sink, while the fourth

6:14

stood facing them and maintained the

6:16

largest share of the conversation. This

6:19

last person was named Hill. He

6:22

was a sturdily built young fellow of

6:24

the same age as Wetherburn. He

6:26

had a white face, dark gray

6:29

eyes, hair of an indeterminate color

6:31

and prominent, irregular features.

6:34

He talked rather louder than was needful

6:36

and thrust his hands deeply into his

6:39

pockets. His collar was frayed

6:41

and blue with a starch of a careless

6:43

laundress. His clothes were

6:46

evidently ready-made, and there was a patch

6:48

on the side of his boot near the toe. As

6:51

he talked, or listened to the others, he

6:53

glanced now and again towards the lecture theater door.

6:56

They were discussing the depressing peroration of

6:58

the lecture they had just heard,

7:00

the last lecture it was in the

7:02

introductory course in zoology. "'From

7:05

ovum to ovum is the

7:07

goal of the higher vertebraeter,'

7:10

the lecturer had said in his melancholy

7:13

tones, and so had neatly

7:15

rounded off the sketch of comparative anatomy he

7:17

had been developing. The

7:19

spectacled hunchback had repeated it

7:21

with noisy appreciation and tossed it

7:24

towards the fair-haired student with

7:26

an evident provocation, and

7:28

it started one of those vague,

7:31

rambling discussions on generalities so unaccountably

7:33

dear to the student mind all

7:35

the world over. And

7:38

that is our goal, perhaps. I admit

7:40

it as far as science goes," said

7:42

the fair-haired student, rising to the challenge. "'But

7:45

there are things above science.' "'Science,'

7:49

said Hill confidently, "'is systematic

7:51

knowledge, ideas that

7:53

don't come into the system must

7:57

anyhow be loose ideas.'"

8:00

He was not quite sure whether this was a

8:02

clever saying or a fatuity until his hearers

8:04

took it seriously. "'The thing I

8:07

cannot understand,' said the hunchback

8:09

at large, "'is whether Hill is

8:11

a materialist or not.' "'There

8:14

is one thing above matter,' said

8:16

Hill promptly, feeling he made

8:18

a better point this time, aware too of

8:20

someone in the doorway behind him, and raising

8:23

his voice a trifle for her benefit. "'And

8:25

that is the delusion that

8:28

there is something above

8:30

matter.'" "'So we have your gospel

8:32

at last,' said the fair student. "'It's

8:35

all a delusion, is it? All

8:37

our aspirations to lead something more

8:39

than dogs' lives, all our work

8:42

for anything beyond ourselves.' "'Let's

8:44

see how inconsistent you are. Your

8:46

socialism, for instance. Why

8:49

do you trouble about the interests of the race? Why

8:52

do you concern yourself about the beggar in the

8:54

gutter? Why are you bothering

8:56

yourself to lend that book,' he

8:58

indicated William Morris by a movement of

9:00

his head, "'to everyone in the lab.'"

9:03

"'Girl,' said the

9:05

hunchback indistinctly and glanced guiltily over

9:07

his shoulder. The

9:09

girl in brown, with the brown eyes, had

9:12

come into the laboratory and stood on the

9:14

other side of the table behind him, with

9:17

her rolled-up apron in one hand looking over

9:19

her shoulder, listening to the discussion.

9:22

She did not notice the hunchback because she

9:24

was glancing from Hill to his interlocutor. Hill's

9:27

consciousness of her presence betrayed itself to

9:29

her only in his studious

9:32

ignoring of the fact, but

9:34

she understood that, and it pleased her.

9:37

"'I see no reason,' said

9:39

he. "'Why a man should

9:42

live like a brute because he knows

9:44

of nothing beyond matter and does not

9:46

expect to exist a hundred years hence.'

9:49

"'Why shouldn't he?' said

9:51

the fair-haired student. "'Why should he?' said

9:54

Hill. "'What inducement has he?'

9:57

"'That's the way with all you religious

9:59

people. all a business of

10:01

inducements. Cannot a man

10:03

seek after righteousness for righteousness' sake?"

10:07

There was a pause. The fair

10:09

man answered with a kind of vocal padding.

10:13

But you see, inducement. When

10:18

I say inducement, to gain time.

10:21

And then the hunchback came to his rescue

10:23

and inserted a question. He was

10:25

a terrible person in the debating society

10:27

with his questions, and they invariably took

10:29

one form, a demand for

10:32

a definition. "'What's your

10:34

definition of righteousness?" said

10:37

the hunchback at this stage. Hill

10:40

experienced a sudden loss of complacency at

10:42

this question, but even as it

10:44

was asked, release came in

10:47

the person of Brooks, the laboratory

10:49

assistant, who entered by the preparation

10:51

room door carrying a number of

10:53

freshly killed guinea pigs by their

10:55

hind legs. "'This is the

10:57

last batch of material this season,' said

10:59

the youngster, who had not previously spoken. Brooks

11:03

advanced up the laboratory, smacking down the couple

11:05

of guinea pigs at each table. The

11:07

rest of the class, scenting the prey

11:09

from afar, came crowding in by the

11:11

lecture-theater door, and the discussion perished

11:13

abruptly as the students, who

11:16

were not already in their places, hurried to

11:18

them to secure the choice of a specimen.

11:21

There was a noise of keys

11:23

rattling on split rings as lockers

11:25

were opened and dissecting instruments taken

11:27

out. Hill was already

11:29

standing by his table, and his

11:32

box of scalpels was sticking out of his pocket.

11:35

The girl in brown came a step towards him,

11:37

and leaning over his table, said

11:39

softly, "'Did you see

11:41

that I returned your book, Mr. Hill?'" During

11:45

the whole scene, she and the book

11:47

had been vividly present in his consciousness,

11:50

and he made a clumsy pretense of looking

11:52

at the book and seeing it for the

11:54

first time. "'Oh, yes,' he

11:56

said, taking it up. "'I see.

11:58

Did you like it?'" I want

12:00

to ask you some questions about it,

12:03

some time." "'Certainly,' said

12:05

Hill. I shall be glad." He

12:08

stopped awkwardly. "'You liked

12:11

it?' he said. "'It's

12:13

a wonderful book, only some

12:15

things I don't understand.'" Then

12:17

suddenly the laboratory was hushed by a

12:20

curious braying noise. It was the demonstrator.

12:23

He was at the blackboard ready to begin

12:25

the day's instruction, and it

12:27

was his custom to demand silence by

12:29

a sound midway between an er of

12:31

common intercourse and the blast of a trumpet. The

12:35

girl in brown slipped back to her

12:37

place. It was immediately in front of

12:39

Hill's, and Hill, forgetting her forthwith, took

12:42

a notebook out of the drawer of

12:44

his table, turned over its leaves hastily,

12:46

drew a stumpy pencil from his pocket, and

12:49

prepared to make a copious note

12:51

of the coming demonstration. For

12:53

demonstrations and lectures are the sacred

12:55

text of the college students' books,

12:58

saving only the professor's own you

13:00

may, it is even expedient to,

13:03

ignore. Hill

13:05

was the son of a land-port

13:07

cobbler, and had been hooked

13:10

by a chance-blue paper the authorities had

13:12

thrown out to the land-port technical college.

13:15

He kept himself in London on his allowance of

13:17

a guinea week, and found

13:19

that, with proper care, this also

13:21

covered his clothing allowance, an occasional

13:23

waterproof collar, that is, and

13:26

ink and needles and cotton and such-like

13:28

necessities for a man about town. This

13:32

was his first year and his first

13:34

session, but the brown old

13:36

man in land-port had already got

13:38

himself detested in many public houses

13:40

by boasting of his son, the

13:43

Professor. Hill was

13:45

a vigorous youngster, with a serene

13:47

contempt for the clergy of all denominations,

13:50

and a fine ambition to reconstruct

13:52

the world. He regarded

13:54

his scholarship as a brilliant opportunity. He

13:57

had begun to read at seven and had

14:00

read steadily whatever came in his way, good

14:02

or bad, since then. His

14:05

worldly experience had been limited to the

14:07

island of Portsea and acquired

14:09

chiefly in the wholesale boot factory in

14:11

which he had worked by day after

14:13

passing the seventh standard of the board

14:15

school. He had a

14:17

considerable gift of speech as the

14:20

college debating society, which met amidst

14:22

the crushing machines and mind models

14:24

of the metallurgical theatre downstairs, already

14:27

recognized, recognized by a

14:29

violent battering of desks whenever he

14:32

rose, and he was just at

14:34

that fine emotional age when life

14:36

opens at the end of a

14:38

narrow pass like a broad

14:40

valley at one's feet, full

14:42

of the promise of wonderful

14:44

discoveries and tremendous achievements, and

14:47

his own limitations save that

14:49

he knew that he knew neither Latin

14:51

nor French were all unknown

14:54

to him. At

14:56

first his interest had been divided

14:58

pretty equally between his biological work

15:00

at the college and social and

15:03

theological theorizing and employment which he

15:05

took in deadly earnest. Of

15:07

a night, when the big museum library

15:09

was not open, he would sit on the

15:11

bed of his room in Chelsea with

15:13

his coat and a muffler on and

15:16

write out the lecture notes and

15:18

revise his dissection memoranda until

15:20

Thorpe called him out by a whistle. The

15:23

landlady objected to open the door

15:25

to attic visitors, and

15:27

then the two would go prowling about

15:29

the shadowy, shiny, gaslit streets, talking

15:32

very much in the fashion of the sample

15:34

just given of the god

15:36

idea and righteousness and Carlyle and

15:38

the reorganization of society, and in

15:40

the midst of it all, Hill,

15:43

arguing not only for Thorpe but

15:46

for the casual passerby, would lose

15:48

the thread of his argument glancing

15:50

at some pretty painted face that

15:53

looked meaningly at him as he passed,

15:56

science and righteousness, but

15:59

once or twice lately there had been signs

16:01

that a third interest was creeping into

16:03

his life, and he had

16:05

found his attention wandering from the fate

16:08

of the Mesoblastic somites or the probable

16:10

meaning of the blastosphere to the

16:13

thought of the girl with the

16:15

brown eyes who sat at the table before

16:17

him. She was

16:19

a paying student. She descended

16:22

inconceivable social altitudes to speak to

16:24

him. Despite the thought

16:26

of the education she must have had and the

16:28

accomplishments she must possess, the soul

16:30

of Hill became abject within him.

16:34

She had spoken to him first over

16:36

a difficulty about the allicinoid of a

16:38

rabbit skull, and he had found

16:40

that, in biology at least, he had

16:42

no reason for self-abasement. And

16:45

from that, after the manner of

16:47

young people starting from any starting point, they

16:49

got to generalities and while Hill

16:51

attacked her upon the question of

16:53

socialism, some instinct told him

16:55

to spare her a direct assault upon

16:58

her religion. She was

17:00

gathering resolution to undertake what she

17:02

told herself was an aesthetic education.

17:05

She was a year or two older than he, though

17:07

the thought never occurred to him. The

17:10

loan of news from nowhere was the

17:12

beginning of a series of cross-loans. Upon

17:15

some absurd principle of his,

17:17

Hill had never wasted time

17:20

upon poetry, and it seemed

17:22

an appalling deficiency to her. One

17:25

day in the lunch hour, when she

17:27

chanced upon him alone in the little

17:30

museum where the skeletons were arranged, shamefully

17:33

eating the bun that constituted

17:35

his midday meal, she retreated

17:37

and returned to lend him, with a slightly

17:40

furtive air, a volume

17:42

of browning. He

17:44

stood sideways towards her and

17:46

took the book rather clumsily because he was holding

17:48

the bun in the other hand, and

17:51

in the retrospect his voice lacked

17:53

the cheerful clearness he could have

17:55

wished. That occurred

17:57

after the examination in comparative analysis.

18:00

anatomy, on the day before

18:02

the college turned out its students and was

18:04

carefully locked up by the officials for the

18:06

Christmas holidays. The excitement of

18:08

cramming for the first trial of

18:10

strength had, for a little

18:12

while, dominated Hill to the exclusion of his

18:15

other interests. In the forecasts

18:17

of the result in which everyone indulged,

18:20

he was surprised to find that

18:22

no one regarded him as a

18:24

possible competitor for the Harvey Commemoration

18:26

Medal, of which

18:29

this and two subsequent examinations

18:31

disposed. It was about

18:33

this time that Wetherburn, who so

18:36

far had lived inconspicuously on the

18:38

uttermost margin of Hill's perceptions, began

18:41

to take on the appearance of

18:43

an obstacle. By a

18:45

mutual agreement, the nocturnal prowlings with

18:47

Thorpe ceased for the three weeks

18:50

before the examination, and his

18:52

landlady pointed out that she really could not

18:54

supply so much lamp oil at the price.

18:57

He walked to and fro from the college

19:00

with little slips of pneumonics in his hand,

19:02

lists of crayfish appendages, rabbits,

19:05

skull bones, and vertebrae nerves,

19:07

for example, and became

19:09

a positive nuisance to foot-passengers in the

19:11

opposite direction. But

19:14

by a natural reaction, poetry

19:17

and the girl with the brown

19:19

eyes ruled the Christmas holiday. The

19:22

pending results of the examination

19:24

became such a secondary consideration

19:27

that Hill marveled at his father's excitement.

19:30

Even had he wished it, there was

19:32

no comparative anatomy to read in Lanport, and

19:35

he was too poor to buy books. But

19:37

the stock of poets in the library was

19:39

extensive, and Hill's attack

19:42

was magnificently sustained. He

19:44

saturated himself with the fluent

19:46

numbers of Longfellow and Tennyson,

19:49

and fortified himself with Shakespeare,

19:51

found a kindred soul in Pope and

19:54

a master in Shelley, and

19:56

heard and fled the siren voices of

19:58

Eliza Cook and Mrs. Heumann's. But

20:01

he read no more Browning, because

20:03

he hoped for the loan of other

20:05

volumes from Miss Hazeman when he returned

20:07

to London. He walked

20:09

from the lodgings to the collage with that

20:11

volume of Browning in his shiny black bag

20:14

and his mind teeming with the

20:16

finest general propositions about poetry. Indeed,

20:19

he framed first this little speech

20:22

and then that with which to grace the return.

20:25

The morning was an exceptionally pleasant one for

20:27

London. There was a

20:30

clear, hard frost and undeniable blue in

20:32

the sky. A thin

20:34

haze softened every outline, and

20:37

warm shafts of sunlight struck between the

20:39

house blocks and turned the sunny side

20:42

of the street to amber

20:44

and gold. In the

20:46

hall of the collage he pulled off his

20:49

glove and signed his name with fingers so

20:51

stiff with gold that the characteristic

20:53

dash under the signature he cultivated

20:55

became a quivering line. He

20:58

imagined Miss Hazeman about him

21:00

everywhere. He turned

21:02

at the staircase and there below he

21:04

saw a crowd struggling at the foot

21:06

of the notice board. This

21:08

possibly was the biology list. He

21:11

forgot Browning and Miss Hazeman for the moment and

21:13

joined the scrimmage. At last,

21:16

with his cheek flattened against the sleeve of the

21:18

man on the step above him, he read the

21:20

list. Class 1.

21:24

H.J. Summers Wetterburn

21:27

William Hill And

21:31

thereafter followed a second class that is

21:33

outside our present sympathies. It

21:36

was characteristic that he did not trouble to look

21:38

for Thorpe on the physics list but

21:40

backed out of the struggle at once and

21:43

in a curious emotional state

21:45

between pride over common second-class

21:47

humanity and acute disappointment at

21:49

Wetterburn's success went on

21:51

his way upstairs. At the

21:53

top, as he was hanging up his

21:55

coat in the passage, the zoological

21:58

demonstrator, a young man from Oxford,

22:00

expert who secretly regarded him as a

22:02

blatant mugger of the very worst type,

22:05

offered his heartiest congratulations. At

22:08

the laboratory door, he'll stop for a second

22:10

to get his breath and

22:12

then entered. He looked

22:15

straight up the laboratory and saw all

22:17

five girl students grouped in their places

22:20

and Wedderburn, the once-retiring

22:22

Wedderburn, leading rather

22:24

gracefully against the window, staying

22:27

with the blind tassel and talking apparently

22:29

to the five of them. Now,

22:32

Hill could talk bravely enough and

22:34

even overbearingly to one girl, and

22:37

he could have made a speech to a roomful of

22:39

girls, but this business of standing

22:41

at ease and appreciating, fencing,

22:43

and returning quick remarks round

22:45

a group was, he knew, altogether

22:48

beyond him. Coming up

22:50

the staircase, his feelings for Wedderburn had been

22:52

generous, a certain admiration, perhaps,

22:54

a willingness to shake his

22:56

hand conspicuously and heartily as

22:59

one who had fought but the first round. But

23:02

before Christmas, Wedderburn had never gone up to

23:04

the end of the room to talk. In

23:07

a flash, Hill's mist of

23:10

vague excitement condensed abruptly to

23:12

a vivid dislike of Wedderburn.

23:15

Possibly his expression changed. As

23:17

he came up to his place, Wedderburn nodded carelessly

23:19

to him, and the others glanced round.

23:22

Miss Hazeman looked at him and away

23:25

again the faintest touch of her eyes.

23:28

"'I can't agree with you, Mr. Wedderburn,'

23:30

she said. "'I must congratulate

23:33

you on your first class, Mr. Hill,' said

23:35

the spectacled girl in green, turning round

23:38

and beaming at him. "'It's

23:40

nothing,' said Hill, staring

23:42

at Wedderburn and Miss Hazeman talking

23:44

together, and eager to hear what

23:46

they were talking about. "'We

23:48

poor folks in the second class don't think so,'

23:51

said the girl in spectacles. What

23:54

was it Wedderburn was saying? Something

23:56

about William Morris?'

24:00

not answer the girl in spectacles, and a

24:02

smile died out of his face, he

24:04

could hear and fail to see

24:06

how he could cut in. Consound,

24:09

went a burn! He

24:11

sat down, opened his bag, hesitated whether

24:13

to return the volume of browning forthwith

24:15

in the sight of all, and

24:18

instantly drew out his new notebooks

24:20

for the short course in elementary

24:22

botany that was now beginning,

24:25

and which would terminate in February. As

24:28

he did so, a fat, heavy man

24:30

with a white face and pale gray

24:32

eyes, Bindon, the

24:34

professor of botany, who came

24:36

up from Kew for January and

24:39

February, came in by the

24:41

lecture theatre door and passed, rubbing his

24:43

hands together and smiling, in

24:45

silent affability down the laboratory.

24:48

In the subsequent six weeks he'll

24:51

experience some very rapid and curiously

24:53

complex emotional developments. For

24:55

the most part, he had Wedderburn in

24:57

focus, a fact that Miss Hazeman

25:00

never suspected. She told Hill,

25:02

for in the comparative privacy of the museum,

25:05

she talked a good deal to him

25:07

of socialism and browning and general propositions,

25:10

that she had met Wedderburn at the house of

25:13

some people she knew, and

25:15

he's inherited his cleverness, for his father,

25:17

you know, is the great eye specialist.

25:21

My father is a cobbler, said

25:24

Hill quite irrelevantly, and perceived

25:27

the want of dignity even as he said it.

25:30

But the gleam of jealousy did not offend her. She

25:34

conceived herself the fundamental source of it.

25:36

He suffered bitterly from a sense

25:39

of Wedderburn's unfairness and a

25:41

realization of his own handicap. Here

25:43

was this Wedderburn, who had

25:46

picked up a prominent man for a

25:48

father, and instead of losing so many

25:50

marks on the score of that advantage,

25:52

it was counted to him for righteousness. And

25:56

while Hill had managed to introduce himself

25:58

and talked to Mrs. Hazeman clumsily

26:00

over mangled guinea pigs in

26:02

the laboratory, this Wetterburn,

26:05

in some back-stairs way, had

26:07

access to her social altitudes,

26:10

and could converse in a polished

26:12

argo that Hill understood perhaps, but

26:15

felt incapable of speaking, not

26:17

of course that he wanted to. Then

26:20

it seemed to Hill that for Wetterburn

26:22

to come there day after day, with

26:25

cuffs unfraid, quietly tailored,

26:28

precisely barbered, quietly perfect,

26:31

was in itself an

26:33

ill-bred, sneering sort of

26:35

proceeding. Moreover, it was

26:38

a stealthy thing for Wetterburn to

26:40

behave insignificantly for a space, to

26:42

mock modesty, and lead

26:44

Hill to fancy that he himself was beyond

26:47

dispute the man of the year, and then

26:49

suddenly to dart in front of him,

26:52

and incontinently to swell up in

26:54

this fashion. In

26:56

addition to these things, Wetterburn

26:58

displayed an increasing disposition to

27:00

join in any conversational grouping

27:02

that included Miss Aisman, and

27:05

would venture, and indeed seek occasion,

27:08

to pass opinions derogatory

27:10

to socialism and atheism.

27:12

He goaded Hill to

27:15

incivilities by neat, shallow,

27:17

and exceedingly effective personalities

27:19

about the socialist leaders,

27:22

until Hill hated Bernard

27:24

Shaw's graceful ecotisms, William

27:26

Morris's limited editions and

27:29

luxurious wallpapers, and Walter

27:31

Crane's charmingly absurd ideal-working

27:34

men, about as much as he

27:36

hated Wetterburn. The dissertations

27:38

in the laboratory that had been his

27:40

glory in the previous term became a

27:42

danger, degenerated into

27:45

inglorious tussles with Wetterburn,

27:47

and Hill kept to them only

27:49

out of an obscure perception that his

27:51

honor was involved. In

27:54

the debating society, Hill knew quite

27:56

clearly that, to a thunderous accompaniment

27:58

of banged desks, he could have

28:00

pulverized Wedderburn. Only

28:02

Wedderburn never attended the

28:05

debating society to be pulverized

28:08

because of nauseous affectation.

28:10

He dined late.

28:14

He must not imagine that these things

28:16

presented themselves in quite such a crude

28:18

form to Hill's perception. Hill

28:21

was a born generalizer. Wedderburn,

28:23

to him, was not so

28:25

much an individual obstacle as a type,

28:28

a salient angle of a

28:30

class. The economic

28:32

theories that, after infinite ferment,

28:34

had shaped themselves in Hill's

28:36

mind, became abruptly

28:38

concrete at the contract.

28:41

The world became full of easily

28:44

mannered, graceful, gracefully

28:46

dressed, conversationally dexterous,

28:48

finally shallow Wedderburns,

28:51

bishops Wedderburn, Wedderburn MPs,

28:53

professor Wedderburns, Wedderburn landlords,

28:55

all with finger-bowl shibboleths,

28:58

and epigramic cities of refuge from

29:00

a sturdy debater. And

29:03

every one ill-clothed or ill-dressed from

29:05

the cobbler to the cab-runner was,

29:07

to Hill's imagination, a man

29:10

and a brother, a fellow-sufferer,

29:13

so that he became, as it were, a

29:15

champion of the fallen and oppressed, albeit

29:18

outward seeming only a self-assertive,

29:20

ill-mannered young man and an

29:22

unsuccessful champion at that. Again

29:25

and again, a skirmish

29:27

over the afternoon tea that the

29:30

girl students had inaugurated, left

29:32

Hill with slushed cheeks and a

29:34

tattered temper, and the debating

29:36

society noticed a new quality of

29:38

sarcastic bitterness in his speeches. You

29:42

will understand now how it was necessary,

29:44

if only in the interests of humanity,

29:47

that Hill should demolish Wedderburn in

29:49

the forthcoming examination and outshine him

29:52

in the eyes of Miss Hazeman.

29:54

And you will perceive, too, how Miss

29:57

Hazeman fell into some common feminine

29:59

mis-cannibal. conceptions. The

30:02

Hill-Wetterburn quarrel, for in

30:04

his unostentatious way, Wetterburn

30:07

reciprocated Hill's ill-veiled rivalry,

30:10

became a tribute to her

30:12

indefinable charm. She was

30:14

the queen of beauty in a tournament

30:16

of scalpels and stumpy pencils. To

30:19

her confidential friends' secret annoyance,

30:21

it even troubled her conscience, for

30:24

she was a good girl

30:26

and painfully aware, through Ruskin

30:28

and contemporary fiction, how entirely

30:30

men's activities are determined by

30:32

women's attitudes. And

30:35

if Hill never by any chance mentioned the

30:37

topic of love to her, she

30:39

only credited him with the finer

30:41

modesty for that omission. So

30:44

the time came on for the second

30:46

examination, and Hill's increasing

30:49

pallor confirmed the general rumor

30:52

that he was working hard. In

30:55

the aerated bread shop near South Kensington

30:57

Station, you would see him, breaking

31:00

his bun and sipping his milk

31:02

with his eyes in tint upon

31:04

a paper of closely written notes.

31:07

In his bedroom, there were propositions

31:09

about buds and stems around his

31:11

looking-glass, a diagram to catch

31:13

his eye if soap should chance to

31:15

spare it above his washing-basin. He

31:18

missed several meetings of the Debating

31:20

Society. He found the chance

31:23

encounters with Miss Hazeman in the spacious ways

31:25

of the Adjacent Art Museum or in

31:27

the Little Museum at the top of the college

31:29

or in the college corridors more

31:31

frequently and very restful. In

31:35

particular, they used to meet in

31:37

a little gallery full of wrought

31:39

iron chests and gates near the

31:41

art library, and there Hill used

31:43

to talk, under the

31:46

gentle stimulus of her fluttering attention of

31:48

Browning and his personal

31:50

ambitions. A characteristic she

31:53

found remarkable in him was

31:55

his freedom from avarice. He

31:58

contemplated quite calmly the prospect of of

32:00

living all his life on an income

32:02

below a hundred pounds a year. But

32:06

he was determined to be famous, to

32:08

make recognizably his own proper person, the

32:10

world a better place to live in. He

32:13

took Brad Law and John Burns

32:16

for his leaders and models, poor,

32:18

even impetunious great men. But

32:21

Miss Hazeman thought that such lies were

32:23

deficient on the aesthetic side, by

32:25

which, though she did not know

32:28

it, she meant good wallpaper and

32:30

upholstery, pretty books, tasteful clothes, concerts,

32:32

and meals nicely cooked

32:34

and respectfully served. At

32:38

last came the day of the second

32:40

examination, and the professor

32:42

of botany, a fussy conscientious man,

32:45

rearranged all the tables in

32:47

a long, narrow laboratory to

32:50

prevent copying and put his

32:52

demonstrator on a chair on a table,

32:54

where he felt, he said, like a Hindu

32:56

god to see all the cheating. And

32:59

stuck a notice outside the door, door

33:01

closed, for no earthly reason that any

33:04

human being could discover. And

33:06

all the morning, from ten till one, the

33:09

quill of Wedderburn shrieked defiance

33:11

at hills, and the quills of

33:13

the others chased their leaders in a tireless

33:16

pack. And so

33:18

also it was in the afternoon.

33:20

Wedderburn was a little quieter than usual,

33:23

and Hill's face was hot all day, and

33:25

his overcoat bulged with textbooks

33:27

and notebooks against the last

33:30

moment's revision, and the next

33:32

day, in the morning and in the

33:34

afternoon, was the practical examination, when sections

33:36

had to be cut and the slides

33:39

identified. In the morning,

33:41

Hill was depressed, because he

33:43

knew he had cut a thick section,

33:46

and in the afternoon came the

33:48

mysterious slip. It

33:50

was just the kind of thing that the botanical

33:53

professor was always doing. Like the

33:55

income tax, it offered a premium

33:57

to the cheat. It was

33:59

a preparation Then under the microscope a

34:01

little glass slip held in

34:03

its place on the stage of the instrument

34:05

by light steel clips, and

34:08

the inscription said forth that the slip

34:10

was not to be moved. Each

34:13

student was to go and turn to

34:15

it, sketch it, write in his book

34:17

of answers what he considered to be,

34:19

and return to his place. Now

34:22

to move such a slip is a thing one

34:25

can do by a chance movement of the finger,

34:27

in a fraction of a second. The

34:30

professor's reason for decreeing that the slip

34:32

should not be moved depended on the

34:34

fact that the object he wanted

34:36

identified was characteristic of a certain

34:38

three stem. In the position

34:40

in which it was placed it was a difficult thing

34:43

to recognize, but once the slip was

34:45

moved so as to bring other parts of the

34:47

preparation into view, its nature

34:49

was obvious enough. Hill

34:52

came to this, flushed from a

34:54

contest with staining reagents, sat

34:56

down on the little stool before the microscope, turned

34:59

the mirror to get the best light, and

35:01

then out of sheer habit shifted

35:04

the slip, that once he

35:06

remembered the prohibition, and with an

35:08

almost continuous motion of his hands, moved it

35:10

back, and sat

35:12

paralyzed with astonishment at his action. Then

35:16

slowly he turned his

35:18

head. The professor was

35:21

out of the room. The

35:23

demonstrators had a loft on his impromptu

35:25

rostrum reading the Quijour, My Sigh. The

35:28

rest of the examinees were busy and

35:31

with their backs to him. Should

35:33

he own up to the accident now? He

35:37

knew quite clearly what the thing was. It

35:40

was a lenticel, a characteristic preparation from

35:42

the elder tree. His

35:44

eyes roved over the intent fellow

35:47

students, and Wedderburn suddenly

35:49

glanced over his shoulder at him with a clear

35:51

expression in his eyes. The

35:53

mental excitement that had kept Hill at an

35:56

abnormal pitch of vigor these two days gave

35:58

way to a curious, nervous tendency. intention. His

36:01

book of answers was beside him. He

36:04

did not write down what the thing was, but

36:07

with one eye at the microscope he began making

36:09

a hasty sketch of it. His

36:11

mind was full of this grotesque puzzle

36:14

in ethics that had suddenly

36:16

been sprung upon him. Should he identify

36:18

it, or should he leave

36:20

this question unanswered? In that

36:22

case, Wedderburn would probably come out first in

36:24

the second result. How

36:26

could he tell now whether he

36:28

might not have identified the thing without

36:30

shifting it? It was

36:32

possible that Wedderburn had failed to recognize it,

36:34

of course. Suppose Wedderburn,

36:37

too, had shifted the slide? He

36:40

looked up at the clock. There were fifteen minutes

36:42

in which to make up his mind. He

36:45

gathered up his book of answers and the

36:47

colored pencils he used in illustrating his

36:49

replies, and walked back to his seat.

36:53

He read through his manuscript, and

36:55

then sat, thinking and gnawing

36:57

his knuckle. It

37:00

would look queer now if he owned up. He

37:02

must beat Wedderburn. He forgot the

37:04

examples of those starry gentlemen John

37:06

Burns and Bradlaugh. Besides,

37:09

he reflected, the glimpse of

37:11

the rest of the slip he had had was,

37:13

after all, quite accidental, forced upon

37:16

him by a chance, a kind of

37:18

providential revelation rather than an unfair advantage.

37:21

It was not nearly so dishonest to

37:23

avail himself of that, as

37:25

it was of Broom, who believed in

37:27

the efficacy of prayer, to pray daily

37:29

for a first class. Try

37:32

a minute more, said the

37:34

demonstrator, folding up his paper and becoming

37:36

observant. He'll watch the clock

37:38

hands until two minutes remained. Then

37:41

he opened the book of answers, and

37:43

with hot ears and an affectation of

37:45

ease, gave his drawing of the lenticel

37:48

its name. When the

37:50

second past list appeared, the

37:52

previous positions of Wedderburn and Hill were

37:54

reversed, and the spectacled girl in

37:56

green who knew the demonstrator in private life,

37:59

where he was practically human, said

38:01

that in the result of the two examinations

38:04

taken together, Hill had the

38:06

advantage of a mark. 167

38:08

to 166 out of a possible 200, everyone admired Hill

38:10

in a way, though the suspicion of

38:17

mugging clung to him. But

38:20

Hill was to find congratulations and Miss

38:22

Hazeman's enhanced opinion of him, and

38:25

even the decided decline in the crest

38:28

of Wedderburn tainted by an unhappy memory.

38:31

He felt a remarkable access of

38:33

energy at first, and the note

38:35

of a democracy marching to triumph

38:37

returned to his debating society's speeches.

38:40

He worked at his comparative anatomy with

38:42

tremendous zeal and effect, and

38:45

he went on with his aesthetic education. But

38:47

through it all, a vivid little picture

38:50

was continually coming before his

38:52

mind's eye, of

38:55

a sneakish person manipulating

38:57

a slide. No

39:00

human being had witnessed the act, and

39:03

he was cocksure that no higher power existed

39:05

to see it. But

39:07

for all that, it worried

39:09

him. Memories

39:12

are not dead things, but alive.

39:15

They dwindle in disuse, but

39:18

they harden and develop in all

39:20

sorts of queer ways if they

39:22

are being continually fretted. Curiously

39:25

enough, though at the time he

39:27

perceived clearly that the shifting was accidental, as

39:30

the days wore on, his memory became

39:32

confused about it, until at

39:34

last he was not sure. Although

39:37

he assured himself that he was sure whether

39:39

the movement had been absolutely involuntary,

39:42

then it was possible that Hill's

39:45

dietary was conducive to morbid conscientiousness.

39:48

A breakfast frequently eaten in a hurry, a

39:50

midday bun, and at such hours

39:53

after five as chance to be

39:55

convenient, such meat as his means

39:57

determined, usually in a chop house

39:59

in a bathtub. factory off the Brompton Road.

40:02

Occasionally he treated himself to three-penny and

40:05

nine-penny classics, and they usually

40:07

represented a suppression of potatoes or chops.

40:10

It is indisputable that outbreaks

40:12

of self-abasement and emotional revival

40:14

have a distinct relation to periods

40:17

of scarcity. But

40:19

apart from this influence on the feelings, there

40:22

was in Hill a distinct aversion to

40:24

falsity that the blasphemous land-port

40:26

cobbler had incalculated by strap

40:28

and tongue from his earliest

40:30

years. Of

40:32

one fact about professed atheists, I

40:35

am convinced, they may be,

40:37

they usually are, fools, void

40:40

of subtlety, revilers of holy

40:42

institutions, brutal speakers and mischievous

40:44

knaves, but they

40:46

lie with difficulty. If

40:49

it were not so, if they

40:51

had the faintest grasp of the

40:53

idea of compromise, they would simply

40:56

be liberal churchmen, and

40:58

moreover this memory poisoned

41:00

his regard for Miss Hazeman, for

41:03

she now so evidently preferred him to Wedderburn that

41:05

he felt sure he cared for her and

41:08

began reciprocating her attentions by timid

41:10

marks of personal regard. At

41:13

one time he even bought a bunch of violence,

41:15

carried it about in his pocket, and produced it

41:18

with a stumbling explanation withered and dead

41:20

in the gallery of Old Iron. It

41:24

poisoned, too, the denunciation

41:26

of capitalist dishonesty that

41:28

had been one of his life's pleasures,

41:30

and lastly, it poisoned his

41:32

triumph in Wedderburn. Previously

41:36

he had been Wedderburn's superior in his own

41:38

eyes and had raged simply at a want

41:41

of recognition. Now

41:43

he began to fret at the

41:46

darker suspicion of positive inferiority.

41:49

He fancied he found justifications for his

41:51

positions in Browning, but

41:53

they vanished on analysis. At

41:56

last, moved curiously enough

41:58

by exactly the same emotive forces

42:01

that had resulted in his dishonesty,

42:04

he went to Professor Bindon and

42:06

made a clean breast of the whole affair. As

42:09

Hill was a paid student, Professor Bindon did not

42:12

ask him to sit down, and

42:14

he stood before the professor's desk as he made

42:16

his confession. It's

42:19

a curious story, said Professor

42:21

Bindon, slowly realizing how the thing reflected

42:24

on himself and then letting his

42:26

anger rise. A

42:28

most remarkable story. I

42:31

can understand your doing it, and I

42:33

can't understand this avowal. You're a type

42:35

of student. Cambridge

42:37

men would never dream. I suppose

42:40

I ought to have thought. Why

42:42

did you cheat? I

42:45

didn't cheat, said Hill, but you

42:47

have just been telling me you did. I

42:50

thought I explained. Either you cheated or you

42:52

did not cheat. I said my

42:55

motion was involuntary. I am

42:57

not a metaphysician. I

42:59

am a servant of science, of fact. You

43:01

were told not to move the slip. You

43:04

did move the slip. If that is not

43:06

cheating, if I was a cheat, said

43:09

Hill, with a note of hysterics in his voice, should

43:11

I come here and tell you? Your

43:14

appendix, of course, does you credit, said

43:16

Professor Bindon, but it does not

43:18

alter the original facts. No, sir, said

43:21

Hill, giving in an utter

43:23

self-abasement. Even now you

43:25

cause an enormous amount of trouble. The

43:28

examination list will have to be revised.

43:30

I suppose so, sir. Suppose

43:33

so? Of course it must be revised.

43:35

And I don't see how I can

43:37

conscientiously pass you. Not

43:40

pass me, said Hill. Fail

43:43

me? What is the

43:45

rule of all examinations, or where should we be? What

43:48

else did you expect? You don't want to

43:50

shirk the consequences of your own acts. I

43:53

thought perhaps, said Hill, and then

43:57

failed me. told

44:00

you, you would simply deduct the

44:02

marks given for that slip." "'Impossible!'

44:04

said Bindon. "'Besides, it

44:06

would still leave you above Wedderburn, deduct

44:09

only the marks, but posturous. The

44:11

Department of Regulations distinctly say, but

44:14

it's my own admission, sir, the

44:16

Regulations say nothing whatever of the manner

44:18

in which the matter comes to light.

44:20

They simply provide it will ruin me.

44:24

If I fail this examination, they won't

44:26

renew my scholarship.' "'You

44:29

should have thought of that before.'

44:31

"'But, sir, consider all my circumstances.'

44:33

"'I cannot consider anything. The

44:35

professors in this college are machines.

44:38

The Regulations will not even let us

44:40

recommend our students for appointments. I am

44:43

a machine. And you

44:45

have worked me. I have to do.'

44:47

"'It's very hard, sir.' "'Possibly

44:49

it is.' "'If I

44:52

am to be failed this examination, I

44:56

might as well go home at once.' "'That

44:59

is as you think proper,' Bindon's

45:01

voice softened a little. He

45:04

perceived he had been unjust, and provided

45:06

he did not contradict himself, he was

45:08

disposed to amelioration. "'As

45:11

a private person,' he said,

45:14

"'I think this confession of yours

45:16

goes far to mitigate your offense. But

45:19

you have set the machinery in motion, and now

45:21

it must take its course. I —' "'I

45:24

really am sorry you gave way.' A

45:28

wave of emotion prevented Hill from answering.

45:32

Suddenly, very vividly, he

45:35

saw the heavily lined face of

45:37

the old Lanport cobbler, his father.

45:40

"'Good God! What a fool I

45:42

have been!' he said hotly and

45:44

abruptly. "'I hope,' said

45:47

Bindon, that it will be a lesson

45:49

to you.' But

45:51

curiously enough, they were

45:53

not thinking of quite the same indiscretion.

45:57

There was a pause. "'I

45:59

would like a date,' said Bindon. to think, sir, and then

46:01

I will let you know. About going home,

46:03

I mean," said Hill, moving

46:05

towards the door. The

46:09

next day Hill's place was

46:11

vacant. The spectacled

46:14

girl in green was, as usual, first with

46:16

the news. Wedderburn and Miss

46:18

Hazeman were talking of a performance

46:20

of the Meistersingers when she came

46:22

up to tell them, and she

46:25

said, she said, "'Hurt

46:27

what? There was cheating in

46:29

the examination." "'Cheating,'

46:32

said Wedderburn, with his face suddenly hot. "'How?

46:35

That slide moved? Never.

46:38

It was. That slide that we

46:40

worked to move. Nonsense,' said

46:43

Wedderburn. "'Why? How could they find

46:45

out? Who do they say? It was

46:48

Mr. Hill.'" "'Mr.

46:52

Hill?' "'Surely

46:54

not the Immaculate Hill,' said

46:57

Wedderburn, recovering. "'I don't believe

46:59

it,' said Miss Hazeman. "'How

47:01

do you know?' "'I didn't,'

47:04

said the girl in spectacles. "'But I

47:07

know it for a fact. Mr.

47:09

Hill went in and confessed to

47:11

Professor Bindon himself.' "'By Jove,' said

47:14

Wedderburn. "'Hill. All

47:16

people.' "'But I

47:19

am always inclined to distrust these

47:21

philanthropists on principle.' "'Are

47:24

you quite sure?' said Miss

47:26

Hazeman, with a catch in her breath. "'Quite.

47:29

It's dreadful, isn't it? But, you know, what

47:31

can you expect? His father is a cobbler.'

47:35

Then Miss Hazeman astonished the girl

47:37

in spectacles. "'I don't care. I

47:40

will not believe it,' she

47:42

said, flushing darkly under her warm, tinted

47:44

skin. "'I will not believe it until

47:46

he has told me so himself face to face.

47:50

"'I would scarcely believe it then.' And abruptly

47:52

she turned her back on

47:54

the girl in spectacles and

47:56

walked to her own place.

47:58

"'It's true, all this.' the same," said

48:01

the girl in spectacles, peering and smiling at

48:03

Wedderburn. But Wedderburn

48:05

did not answer her. She

48:07

was one of those people who

48:09

seemed destined to make unanswered remarks.

48:24

This is B.J. Harrison. If you've

48:26

enjoyed this unabridged production of

48:29

A Slip Under the Microscope by H.G.

48:31

Wells, if you've enjoyed this book, please

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48:38

thanks for pitching in. Thank

48:40

you for joining me today and allowing

48:42

classic literature to awaken your better self.

48:45

Please join me next time and we'll

48:48

rediscover the greatest stories ever put to

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48:56

you.