Sigh. Well, you wanted this. Since iRobot when online he's been the new hotness in the CHS offices. He's all anybody can talk about, thanks in no small part to the constant interrogations by the Collinsport sheriff. Hello deputies, if you're listening to this and you almost certainly are, I still have nothing to say. 

Since that idiot intern got himself run over last week, we've lost four more. They're not dead or anything ... probably. We just can't find them. Which is fine by me, because that means four fewer people running their mouths about how awesome iBobby is. He's not even a real robot, you know. Real robots don't need quite so much human tissue to support their higher reasoning centers.

Anyhoo, some of you out there asked for a live reading of his Dark Shadows whatsit, Sad Monster House. I'm looking at you Richard Harland Smith, Justin Partridge and Kittie with a K. This is on you. Whatever metaphysical crisis you might suffer while listening to this is the fault of whatever absent deities your worship. Side effects may include: Hallucinations; memory loss; priapism; Eric Lang Disease; birth defects; night terrors; and day terrors.

Enjoy!