HELP! My Friends Don’t Like My Husband

You love your husband and your friends. They are both critical parts of your life and support team. What do you do when your friends don’t like your husband?

This issue can be really painful and hard to navigate so that everyone involved can be more comfortable.

IN THIS EPISODE, YOU’LL LEARN…

• How to create boundaries
• How to balance your relationships
• How to support your spouse and your friendships

The “Dog  House” – What Not to Do When Your Friends Don’t Like Your Spouse

• Don’t be the “people-pleaser” – Some women try very hard at making everyone happy, but it ends up hurting YOU.  You can’t make everyone happy with this scenario. You can’t try to paint your husband in a different light or avoid talking about it to simply avoid irritating your friends.
• Don’t Cut Your Friends Off – Don’t simply cut off your friends if they don’t like your husband.  There needs to be space on talking about it, figuring out how you can move forward.  Can there be a middle ground?
• Don’t Avoid Bringing Him To Social Events – Some people avoid bringing their husband because they know their girlfriends don’t like him.  To avoid bringing him can put an uncomfortable feeling in the air.  Like you have to hide or pretend he isn’t in your life, where in reality he is your number one.

The FIX – How to Support Both Relationships

• Talk Openly: Talk openly to your friends.  Ask them about what they don’t like, what their biggest fear is if you stay with him?  What do they think you want in a relationship?  Get to the root of what they are concerned about.  Are their concerns accurate?  Is this one person or do all your friends have concerns.  Take this into consideration.  They critics might be right. Let them know their opinion is important and you will take it into consideration.
• They are Coming From A Good Place: Know that your friends genuinely care about you and want the best for you.  They may not like certain things your husband does, but it isn’t their marriage.  Remind yourself they are simply coming from a good place. “She deserves better”
• Ask for them to support your choice.  No matter what they think or how they get along (or not along) with your husband, they should support YOU.
• You deserve to vent: When your girlfriends have told you that your man is bad news, it tends to set a vibe that you loose the right to vent about your husband.  This is not the case.  Your friends are there to support you.  You have every right to vent, just as much as they do.
• Acceptance: You may need to accept the fact that your friends may never like your husband, but they love you and support you.
• Show You Aren’t Giving Up: Show your friends that your husband is important to you and that you aren’t going to give up on him.  Especially if he is the father of your child.

LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Couples Communication Tips – Jennifer Chappell Marsh, LMFT

Breaking Up is Hard To Do..With Friends Too – Jennine Estes, LMFT

THANKS FOR LISTENING!

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