0:03

Come with me

0:08

and you'll be in

0:14

our world of

0:16

your imagination

0:18

. Take

0:22

a look and

0:25

you'll see into

0:28

your imagination

0:31

. We'll begin

0:34

with a spin

0:37

traveling

0:39

in the world of

0:41

my creation Work

0:43

. We'll see , we'll

0:46

define explanation

0:50

. We'll

1:17

begin with a spin traveling in the world of our imagination . We'll

1:33

begin

1:36

with a spin

1:41

traveling

1:47

in the world of our imagination . He's

2:05

a father , a brother , an icon

2:08

to those that know him . He is endeavor

2:10

and fire . He's

2:49

a father , a brother , an icon

2:52

to those that know him . He's

3:12

a father , a brother , an icon to

3:14

those that know him . He's

3:25

a father , a brother , an icon

3:27

to those that know him . He's

3:51

a father , a brother , an icon

3:54

to those that know him . He's

4:07

a father , a brother , an icon

4:09

to those that know

4:12

him . He's

4:16

a father , a brother , an

4:20

icon to

4:23

those that know him

4:25

. Well

4:46

, here we go again . How's

4:55

everybody doing out there ? Yeah

4:59

, doing all right . Fun

5:01

day , it's a good day . Every day

5:03

is a great day . My

5:07

name is Derek and

5:10

I am endeavor and fire . I want to welcome you guys

5:12

to the show . I

5:14

hope everything in your life is going right

5:16

. I mean , I know my name is . I mean I ain't won a lottery yet , but

5:19

it's coming . It's coming . That's

5:23

all good . So

5:26

we're all having an enjoyous , fun

5:28

time . Appreciate you guys being

5:30

here with me on my show , listen to me and

5:34

just making me the man I am today . No

5:36

, I'm kidding

5:38

, I'm kidding , that's what I do want to say . Thank you

5:41

, thank you to my listeners , thank

5:44

you for everything

5:46

. You know I might just break out in the song Hold on now

5:49

. Hold on All

5:53

right . So today we

5:56

have some more questions

5:59

, or more maybe

6:01

, kind of a challenge

6:04

this listener is facing . Yes

6:10

, she

6:12

is kind of questioning her

6:14

work status with her work husband

6:17

and not her work husband like her real

6:19

, actual husband , and I guess it's

6:21

sort of kind of feeling leaving her drained and

6:24

kind of feeling that she has to do different things

6:26

. So

6:28

, without further ado , let's

6:31

get into

6:33

this next letter . This

6:37

comes from a listener who

6:39

is out of Eugene , oregon . Her

6:42

name is Anissa . Here

6:44

we go . Hello

6:46

, mr Derek , how are you ? I'm good , so

6:49

I hope you're doing the same . I hope everything is good

6:51

with you . My name is Anissa . I've been married for

6:53

six years to my husband , alex

6:55

. Though it has been

6:57

great , there are some challenges . I would first

7:00

like to say we've met on a dating site

7:02

, which I admit was a bit different

7:04

, but worked out great . That's good . I'm happy

7:06

for you , congratulations . A

7:09

bit about myself . I enjoy the simple life , with

7:11

some drama . Keeps a life healthy . Not

7:13

sure about that . But OK , your opinion , not mine

7:15

. I am 29

7:17

years old . My husband is also

7:19

29, . As it turns out , we're five months

7:21

apart , lol . We have

7:23

two beautiful children we

7:26

both adore and take care of . We

7:28

live in a small but cozy town

7:30

of Eugene , oregon , and

7:33

Risi come on to your podcast

7:36

as we both travel about an hour and

7:38

a half to work in Portland Not

7:42

uncommon . I know a lot of people travel way further

7:45

than that . But hey , here's what it is . Let's

7:48

bring it to someone in my dilemma or my issue

7:50

, you be the judge , I

7:52

am the judge . No , I'm just joking . Me

8:01

and my husband work at the same job and at some

8:03

point in time we thought it would be fun to

8:05

do so . At least I did . We could carpool

8:07

together , pick up the kids and all be home together

8:10

at the same time . In a

8:12

sense we save money by doing so . But

8:14

my problem is I just feel

8:16

like there's no break in between us . For

8:18

me it's getting a bit tiring

8:21

, frustrating , if

8:23

you know what I mean . We work for

8:25

an employer that I choose not to say the money

8:27

is great as well as a company . But oftentimes

8:29

I feel that we need our own independence . At times

8:31

I can see if we both own

8:33

the company then it would be a bit easier

8:36

. Maybe not Not sure that'd be different , but

8:38

hey , it is what it is . Don't

8:41

get me wrong . There's not another man

8:43

I want to be with but him . But

8:45

it's 24 seven with us from sun up to sundown

8:48

. I want to tell him that I want to pursue

8:50

another venture , job related

8:52

, but I don't want to hurt his feelings . But

8:54

I also feel that if I don't , our

8:56

marriage will suffer . When

9:00

we go to work , everyone knows that we're married and

9:03

that it's a great thing , or it can

9:05

be , and then it can be not a not so

9:07

great thing . If

9:09

you know what I mean , you know what I mean . But then again I say it's all

9:12

good all the time . So , hey , it's all good . I

9:14

always feel that there's eyes on us because it seems

9:16

there

9:19

are someone in the type of office drama . But

9:21

we're not about that , though we have been through

9:23

some times where we argue over some stupid things

9:25

most because I feel that he's a bit nicer female

9:27

co-workers than me . Hey

9:33

, you know as well as I that some of

9:35

them eat it right up as well

9:37

as they probably would . I mean , it's no different there

9:39

. I admit I'm a bit jealous

9:42

, but not crazy jealous , I hope not . But

9:45

at the end of the day we both go home to each other and

9:48

sometimes the long car ride

9:50

home can be a little bit interesting . If you know

9:52

what I mean , I do know what you mean . No

9:54

, actually I don't know what you mean because I don't travel an

9:56

hour for work , but it's all good whatever

9:58

. He is a best husband and father

10:01

and when he sees fellow

10:03

co-workers Min , she has

10:05

an infre with the sees talking to me . He just smiles and keeps

10:07

working and never says anything about it . Scary

10:10

, but maybe not . I might be just bugging Mr

10:15

Derek . Please give me an honest opinion . I know

10:17

that in your past podcast you said

10:19

you and your wife . Sorry late wife , my condolences

10:21

, thank you , by

10:23

the way . I've worked together and I wanted to know more

10:26

about if it was good or it might

10:28

just be in selfish . I've

10:54

been working together for an hour , so that does kill a lot of time , you know . You know one minute I'm talking next minute you're there Punching that clock , punching

10:59

that clock . So

11:20

, as I said before and thank

11:23

you for the condolences for my

11:25

late wife , who I really loved

11:27

and I still love Working

11:32

with your spouse can have

11:34

some advantages . It

11:48

wasn't as bad , it

11:51

really wasn't bad . I

11:59

think going into it and

12:02

started off fun and

12:04

I think , as time went on , because

12:07

we didn't really spend a lot of time together

12:09

at work . As I said before

12:11

, I was a bus driver , my

12:14

wife was a monitor , so it's not like we were

12:16

randomly , randomly always together because

12:18

she wasn't a monitor on my bus

12:20

, but for the most part we were both starting

12:22

. She was starting to enter the work world

12:25

. I was already established in the

12:27

work world and she just wanted to start

12:29

working because she wanted to earn and

12:31

contribute to the relationship . Through no fault

12:33

of mine , my wife just loved her money and she's

12:35

a very independent woman and that's one

12:38

of the key factors I love about her . But this doesn't

12:40

sound like you're having this problem . I

12:43

think what you guys did in the beginning

12:45

it does seem like a fun thing to do and it seems

12:47

like a great thing to do Because , let's be

12:49

honest , working with your spouse , you

12:51

get to see them 24 seven . Now

12:54

, depending on who you are and how

12:56

your relationship is , that could be a good or bad thing

12:58

. Me

13:01

personally , it wasn't really bad for me

13:04

. And of course there's always drama

13:06

, because if you have married couples at work

13:08

, there's always females or

13:10

males . I think females are worse at it than males

13:12

. Are that kind of test the limits of

13:15

your marriage and try to in

13:17

a flirtatious sort of way ? And some don't

13:19

even do that . Some do , or some don't . You kind of

13:21

already know who they are

13:23

so and they

13:25

try to push that envelope as far as being

13:27

flirtatious with your husband , and they look at you

13:29

and give you that you know that

13:32

kind of devilish look like yeah , girl , mm-hmm

13:34

, if he want me , he can have me , or

13:37

if I want him , I can have him . You know that

13:39

kind of shit , you know , you know . I know y'all don't

13:41

talk about it because we've all seen it Mm-hmm

13:44

. So I

13:46

don't think it's bad . But then he does not return the

13:48

favor , which I think is freaking awesome , because

13:51

this was me when I was working

13:53

. I think that if you go to work and

13:55

you're at a nine to five job or you're

13:57

at any job , is there a little flirtation ? Maybe

14:00

there is . I mean , it's nothing that

14:02

I would be concerned about , because when

14:04

I work with my wife and there

14:06

you have to understand , when you're working together there

14:08

are obstacles not really obstacles

14:11

per se , but I mean , unless you're

14:13

working at an all women or

14:15

men's place , then you know there's a

14:17

good chance , a variety of people

14:20

men , women and

14:22

I'm not saying it's always gonna be drama

14:24

. It just depends on the person and how

14:26

well you handle yourself . So

14:29

you

14:31

say you are a little bit jealous , but I don't think you're that

14:33

. And you say you're not crazy jealous , but I

14:35

know it kind of gets to you , but I'm not sure why it would

14:37

get to you . Because we're at work . If

14:39

I know who I'm going home to at the end of the day I'm

14:41

completely fine with it . You know

14:43

I completely , I'm

14:46

completely good with it . So excuse

14:52

me . So

14:54

on that part I'll leave that at that . You

14:56

know you guys said you guys have been married for six years

14:58

. I'm not sure how long you guys have been working together , I

15:00

don't know if it's been that long . Six years

15:03

that's just kind of like

15:05

double the time when you're married . You know

15:07

you work together for six years and

15:09

you work together for six years and again

15:11

, in some areas it can work . You

15:15

said there's no break in between . I definitely understand

15:18

that . I definitely understand that , because working

15:20

with someone and seeing them

15:23

24 , seven , seven days a week , there

15:25

is no break . I don't know if you guys have the same off

15:27

day , or this is a

15:29

Monday through Friday thing , or your days are different

15:31

or off . Yes , I definitely get that , because I think

15:33

in a relationship

15:36

or a marriage you kind of need that independence to

15:38

work . I mean to not work

15:40

but to kind

15:42

of be by yourself some time . You know

15:44

, and that's not a bad thing , you know , because

15:46

when we're getting our day

15:49

ready and you guys have kids from sun

15:51

to sun down , it's like you guys are constantly there with

15:53

each other . It's like there is no break in between and

15:55

that to me would be kind of irritating

15:57

and frustrating . So

15:59

I get that part , I

16:02

really do . I

16:04

understand that part and that's not a problem

16:06

. So I

16:11

think what you're trying to do is

16:13

a good thing . If you know your marriage is going to suffer

16:16

through that , then

16:18

it's best that you guys sit down and talk

16:21

about it and , like I said , we'll go through some things , some

16:24

factors and some deals of

16:26

. You know the good

16:28

and kind of the bad , but you

16:32

know , it seems like you guys work together

16:34

, you travel together and I mean you do save some money

16:36

together and you have kids and

16:38

I don't think you . I don't think it's

16:40

affecting you now , but I think it is effect

16:43

affecting you . So

16:45

let's dig in

16:47

, let's see what we can

16:49

do to try to

16:52

help you . You know , maybe get

16:54

you on the path

16:56

that you need . If you guys give

16:58

me just a hot second , I need to pause for the cause

17:01

. I think something's just blowing my cup of

17:03

tea . You know I got to have my tea when

17:05

I'm out here doing this podcast . Some of that y'all grew

17:07

to some years from about maybe a minute or two . Thanks

17:15

for

17:22

watching

17:32

. See

17:34

you guys next time . Oh

18:08

, okay , I'm back . I'm sorry . I

18:14

need my tea . I'm like a crackhead . Without this

18:16

tea , things might start spying out of control . It's

18:19

probably total anarchy here . In

18:21

any event , we

18:25

are going to well

18:27

. I'm going to try to help you missing

18:30

this , or give you my honest opinion

18:32

on how oh Lord , you see

18:34

how good I sound now , like when I had that sip

18:36

of tea . You know , hold on , let me get another sip my

18:44

tea and vape my

18:47

fifth thing that I love . But

18:51

, as I was saying

18:53

, I definitely understand the no break in between

18:55

. You

18:57

guys are truly doing this

18:59

and I admire what you guys are

19:02

doing . I like what you're doing . Should

19:05

things change ? That solely depends

19:07

on you . Now , from my point of view , I

19:09

would probably change some things , because if I feel

19:11

that my relationship is being drained

19:13

because we are spending too much time together

19:15

, then it would be a problem

19:18

for me . Now I know for some of y'all out there listening like

19:20

I don't see the problem . I think working

19:22

with your spouse is the best thing . It is not Not

19:24

always , because some of y'all have a totally different

19:27

agenda . Some of y'all want to spy

19:29

on your spouses to see the

19:31

way that they're treating the female workers

19:34

versus you , like Miss Anissa has said

19:36

, and let me touch on that Just

19:39

because you see either your

19:41

husband or

19:44

boyfriend treating somebody like totally different

19:46

. They're at work , they're at work . You

19:48

can't take what they do at home and then bring

19:50

it to work . Now , if there was I

19:54

mean if there were always an asshole , and then you see

19:56

that the different side at work because of another

19:58

female , then yeah , I would maybe

20:00

maybe say something

20:02

. But you can't take what

20:05

he does at home with you and

20:07

then kind of compare that at work oh , he's being too nice

20:09

, what , what , what , what , what , what did he say it's

20:12

? Oh , he said thank you to her . Well , how

20:14

did he say it ? Did he say it in the sexual way ? Thank

20:16

you , yes , I appreciate

20:19

you . No , don't , don't , don't worry about it

20:21

, I'll take care . Did he say it like that , I

20:23

mean , or did he just say , hey , thank you , I appreciate it ? I mean

20:25

, there's a difference . Come on , y'all , let's

20:29

, let's , let's be real

20:31

about this . So when

20:33

you're working with your spouse , you

20:36

can't base what goes on at home at work

20:38

. It doesn't work that way . You know it's

20:40

work . I mean , if

20:44

that was the case , neither one of y'all would have jobs

20:47

. But in any event , because

20:51

me and do it , but me and don't do

20:53

it , but you know , you can kind of tell . I mean just kind

20:55

of depends , whatever . In any event , I

21:00

think that alone time is good . We're

21:03

going to dive into some situations

21:05

here , not situations , but some

21:07

some pros and cons of working with your spouse

21:09

according to marriagecom . Some of them

21:11

I can't agree with some of them I don't , and

21:13

then I can probably just give you my honest opinion . So

21:17

the first one we have on the list would

21:19

be you understand each other

21:21

, and this is what I just said . Maybe

21:23

, in a sense , you share

21:25

the same field as your partner . You

21:27

can unload your complaints , your queries

21:29

. Moreover , you can also be sure that your partner

21:31

will have your back . In many

21:34

cases , when partners don't know much about

21:36

each other's profession , they can come be

21:38

agitated in about

21:40

the time spent at work . They

21:43

don't know about the job's demands and

21:45

can therefore make unrealistic demands of

21:48

their partner . However , in the same profession

21:50

and especially the same workplace , couples

21:52

are likely to have a better understanding . Okay

21:55

, so I understand what they're

21:57

saying on that , but here's

21:59

the thing If

22:01

you guys are in two different professions and

22:04

you're doing what you love and he's doing what he

22:06

loves , even though he tells you what

22:08

his job is , leave it at that . I

22:11

mean , the crazy thing is is

22:13

that some of us know the

22:15

stress of a job or that

22:18

a person has when they get the job , before they

22:20

get the job , because there are factors

22:22

that go into it , and if you're discussing that with

22:24

your significant other and saying

22:26

, well , this is what the hour is going to be . You know

22:29

, the money is this , the money is that . And I think

22:31

we kind of get keyed in about the money

22:33

, because if the money is a lifestyle that

22:35

you've never had before , that you're trying to work

22:37

towards , then yeah , there's going to be some hard

22:39

work . It's going to be some hard work , but

22:43

when you're working together and

22:46

this goes back to Anissa when

22:48

you're working together , there's no room for nothing because

22:51

you already know what you're

22:53

both doing at work , unless you're on

22:55

two different floors , two different levels , I mean

22:57

even in a different department , in

22:59

an area of the place that's

23:01

somewhat the same , so to speak , kind

23:04

of like Walmart . You know , walmart

23:06

has a bunch of different departments

23:08

. So even if you're in a different department , you're still going to

23:10

see each other . It's not a big deal , it's not like

23:12

you're working , he's working on the second floor and

23:14

you're working on the fifth floor , so to

23:16

speak . So you

23:19

kind of know

23:21

what the job entails and then you kind of know

23:24

and entails what the office drama is

23:26

or what it's about . So

23:28

understanding each other

23:31

would be , in my

23:33

sense , just for me knowing that how your

23:35

job is and how your job operates

23:37

. I don't need to do your job in order

23:39

for me to understand your job , because

23:41

it may not be something that you like or

23:44

he likes . So I

23:47

mean , that's not

23:50

a nutshell about that . So then they

23:53

said about the job's demands . So you both know

23:55

, if you're working the same company , what the demands are of

23:57

a job . You know what

23:59

if it's going to be mandatory over time , if

24:01

you guys are going to , you

24:03

know , get off at the same time , which I'm sure

24:05

certainly mostly , maybe depending

24:07

on the job or the profession that

24:09

you're in , but

24:12

something like that , something like that . So

24:16

number

24:21

two we have you have each other's backs

24:23

. Sharing the

24:26

same profession comes with a

24:29

lot of perks , especially when it comes

24:31

to doubling up on your efforts , meaning

24:33

a deadline , finishing a project . One

24:35

of the best perks is being able to shift

24:37

the load when someone is

24:39

sick , without too much effort

24:41

. Your partner can jump in and know exactly what is

24:43

expect in the future . You also

24:45

know what you will be able to , um

24:48

, what you'll be able

24:50

to do to repay the favor . I could tell you what you can

24:52

do to repay the favor . Now I'm just joking , okay

24:56

. So this to me is not

24:58

really a big deal , because

25:00

unless you own your company and

25:02

it's physically the two of y'all maybe

25:04

a handful of employees then

25:06

this is kind of where this will come to

25:08

play . But if you're in like a

25:10

big conglomerate of a corporation or

25:12

a retail store or something else

25:15

, and you know there's a variety

25:17

of employees , so it's not like you

25:20

being sick , taking off for the day , I'm going to actually pick

25:22

up your slack . No , that's what there are other coworkers

25:24

and employees for to do that . So

25:26

it's not like they're putting it on all on you

25:28

. Hey , you know , derek , your wife didn't

25:30

come in today , so I'm gonna need you to double to work . It's not like

25:32

that , it's not like that . And then this

25:34

type of shit happens every day . People call off

25:37

. We had to pick up the slide . Not

25:39

a big deal , not really a big deal . So I

25:42

kind of don't really agree with that statement

25:44

. But at the same time , you guys kind of understand

25:47

what they're saying . Um , because I've

25:49

yet to see that now back in the day

25:51

. Um , before the

25:53

world was what it is today . Yes , that

25:56

was probably a factor in that , because

25:58

if a husband's wife is working together and

26:00

they both know each other's Work

26:02

habits , their job thing . Yeah , the

26:04

other can kind of get in there and fill in , maybe do

26:06

a little bit of the work . Oh

26:09

, excuse me , maybe do a little bit of the work . So

26:11

, yeah , I get that part . I get that for our depth

26:13

of understanding . So , number

26:18

three we

26:20

have more time together , lord . Ain't that the truth

26:22

? It's couples who don't share

26:24

the same occupation often complain about

26:26

the time that they spent apart due

26:29

to work . When

26:31

you share a common occupation at work for the

26:33

same company , you have the best of both worlds

26:35

. Do you , though ? A job

26:37

which you love and someone you can share with ? It

26:40

definitely makes those long nights

26:42

at the office worthwhile . If your partner

26:45

can enjoy it

26:47

, takes the sting out of overtime and gives a social

26:49

and sometimes romantic feel . Um

26:51

, a couple of these things I

26:54

agree with . Um , the long

26:56

nights at work , yes , in

26:59

the romantic feel In the office

27:02

break room . Let me tell you something . I've done some

27:04

things that I'm not proud of . That we're not

27:06

gonna get into . Let's just say they

27:08

were good . We

27:11

all have that . We've all done

27:13

crazy stuff , so I'm not even gonna get into that . You

27:16

know , I play palace in

27:18

mcdonalds now I'm just joking Ah

27:22

, at any event , I

27:25

understand what they're saying . But this

27:28

kind of goes back to that . You need to

27:30

kind of leave . Um

27:32

, you

27:34

kind of need some room for Desire

27:37

, some room for passion . You know

27:39

, when you go to work and you walk out there

27:41

front door I mean , when I

27:43

was , when I was , when I was working I

27:45

couldn't wait to get on to see my wife . Oh my god

27:47

, I couldn't wait to see her , that beautiful smile

27:50

, her face lighting up and just saying , oh my

27:52

god , hey , how was your day ? And she would always

27:54

ask me how my day was . And

27:56

then , in return , I would always ask how her day

27:58

was , because that's what I loved about it . You

28:01

know you want to leave some kind of romance

28:03

or mystery or whatever . Um

28:06

, when you're

28:08

working , when you're working apart , because

28:10

it's I don't know , it's just , it's

28:12

to me it's exciting . I don't know about everybody

28:14

else , but if you have a good

28:16

relationship and you love the one you're

28:18

with , then you know , getting home of that person

28:20

is everything , everything . From

28:22

the minute you wake up and you leave , you miss

28:24

that person . When you walk out the front damn door

28:26

and then you're thinking about it . During the day

28:28

you guys talk , but talking to phone

28:31

is just not that the same as when you Come

28:33

into that front door and she's there and greeting

28:35

you with open arms , or he's there greeting you

28:37

with open arms , whatever . But

28:39

you kind of know what I'm saying . All right

28:42

, yeah , okay , I get it . All right . Yeah

28:44

, yeah , yeah . But and

28:48

again this goes back to knowing that

28:50

if we sign up for a job , we talk

28:52

to our spouse about it . We know what this job is going to

28:54

entail . So again

28:56

, that can be a good thing . Because

28:59

the good thing is is that While

29:01

he's at work making money or you're

29:03

at work making money , you know there's

29:05

room . So when you guys get home and see each other , yeah , you're

29:08

gonna be tired , but you're not gonna be too tired

29:10

to hold each other in each other's arm , kiss

29:12

each other , tell each other how your day

29:14

was oh , baby , it was a beautiful day

29:16

. Yeah , we had this deal go down

29:18

and it was good . You know things

29:20

like that she could be proud of . So I definitely

29:22

understand that . So Now

29:27

number four is better communication . The

29:30

best part about working in the same office as your

29:32

spouse is that you commute to work . That's a good

29:34

. That's a bonus . What

29:36

otherwise would be a long ride now becomes

29:38

a ride full of conversations . You will be able to

29:40

discuss everything as couples as

29:42

you need . After

29:45

the work hours you can discuss how the day went and

29:47

the challenges that you face . You can vent

29:49

all frustrations that might Be

29:52

accumulating in due to work pressure

29:54

. Just the insurance that you have

29:56

someone who listens to you and they show your

29:58

problems is a great consolidation of

30:01

the face of adversities . After

30:03

you let out your frustration in the car , you can go

30:05

home . Some more relaxed state of mind , play

30:07

with your kids . Dogs casting each other Well , I

30:09

don't know about that shit . Okay , this

30:11

is one of the ones I'm kind of on the fence about , and I'm gonna

30:13

tell you why . Because

30:15

even though you work at the same job with your spouse

30:18

and

30:20

, as I said before , if

30:22

your spouse does something that you don't like , it work

30:24

Two or four another coworker

30:27

you're damn sure gonna have to hit on the way home . And

30:29

if it's a long hour and a half ride home , you're gonna

30:31

hear every damn minute of it . I

30:33

mean , unless you can magically fly or teleport

30:35

to home , you're gonna hear every damn thing

30:38

, and this goes both ways . Okay

30:40

. So while you're thinking

30:42

that , you're asking , well , how'd your day

30:44

go , you know how my day went . You was right there with me . That's

30:46

the whole argument in itself . Okay . Now

30:49

the other argument is well , I seen when you was talking

30:52

to so-and-so and then she told me that's just that

30:54

and the other Not um , but knowing

30:56

that you were telling something bad or intentional

30:58

, but it's just the way you say things

31:00

. Women , y'all have this bad . When

31:03

a message is relate to you guys , you guys

31:05

put the sexy voice on , like a

31:07

man can talk to another female coworker

31:09

and just say hi . Y'all will take that and turn that

31:11

into 101 ways of

31:13

being romantic , but just by saying the word hi

31:15

, y'all know what I'm talking about . Stop

31:17

playing . Y'all know what it is . He could

31:19

say hi , girl , what's wrong with you ? Did you hear the way he said

31:21

hi to her ? Hi , well

31:24

, what do you say , girl ? Hi , did

31:26

you say hi ? Do you say hi ? No , he said hi

31:29

, okay , I mean yeah , I do shit

31:31

like that . I don't know why . I don't know why . I

31:33

mean Listen , we

31:35

don't have to be rude . And

31:37

if we love you , if we go home

31:39

with you and we respect you and

31:41

our days are nothing but filled with love

31:44

for you . Leave it at that . It

31:47

doesn't matter the way a person says hi or whatever

31:49

, or this one . Oh

31:52

, I couldn't get that off the top shelf , so I asked if we can do it

31:54

from . Must be nice . Yeah , you

31:57

wouldn't do that shit for me at the house . First off

31:59

, we don't have high-ass shelves at the house , okay

32:01

, so let's bring it down a notch , okay

32:04

. So this is what I'm talking about . So better

32:07

communication and

32:12

you can vent the frustration . The frustration is

32:14

For maybe 10

32:16

seconds . The frustration will be about something bad

32:18

that either happened with a , let's just say

32:20

, a customer , a customer or an issue

32:23

at work . The printer ran out of ink

32:25

or email went down for a hot minute

32:27

and Though email went down

32:29

for the better part of the whole damn day

32:31

, that's not your primary concern

32:33

. Your primary concern is what he was doing

32:35

for someone or somebody else Doesn't

32:38

matter who , or where was he at

32:40

when the power was off or the phone were down

32:42

? What was he doing or what was she doing ? So

32:45

that's what I'm talking about . So

32:47

, because that's the frustration , it's

32:50

frustrating to work with someone that you love and

32:53

your mind is not totally focused on

32:55

the job itself . It's focused on

32:57

what they're doing and how they're doing it , or

32:59

who they're helping or who they're with , you

33:02

know . So Communication

33:06

can be better and , like I said again , everybody

33:10

is not like this , but

33:12

I'm just trying to Put

33:14

this in perspective for some . Oh

33:21

, I love tea , I got a lot of tea . Excuse

33:24

me , but frustrations

33:27

can come from a riot things , a rate of things

33:29

, and , as we know , frustration

33:32

can just be dealing with the workload itself

33:34

, the frustration of somebody eating your

33:36

lunch , and those are sometimes the things

33:38

we don't really discuss . If we're working with A

33:41

spouse or a girlfriend or boyfriend

33:44

or you know , trying to say those things

33:46

do not come up , even though those things

33:48

should be the key issue at work , but they're not

33:50

. It's always about somebody

33:52

else instead of about what's

33:55

actually happening in the workplace . So

33:58

, yeah

34:04

, lord , y'all know I love my baby Number

34:08

five . Well , hold

34:10

on . After your frustrations , let out

34:12

in the car which I totally disagree with

34:14

you have a relaxed state of mind

34:16

and go home and play with the kids , dogs and cats . That

34:18

is total bullshit , because you

34:20

know as well as I know if this shit's been

34:23

lingering out through the whole day , it's gonna be a whole

34:25

day and night , all the way home till

34:27

dinner's cooked , till we in the bed , until

34:29

we make it some good love making . Yeah

34:33

, maybe that , maybe , maybe that right now

34:35

. Well , this is what you would do if he was with her . Not

34:37

just joking , come

34:41

on , yeah , yeah , not just having fun . But Listen

34:44

, when I worked with my wife , I

34:47

didn't really find Anything

34:50

wrong , um , because , again

34:52

, we weren't always together . Now

34:54

, there was always , there's always , somebody

34:57

at the workplace . That is just

34:59

spiteful and hurtful . And they're just trying

35:01

to push your buttons , you know , trying

35:03

to see what kind of woman you are , what kind of man that

35:05

you are . If they can flirt with you

35:07

in a furture's way , you can see it , but they can't

35:10

see it . And just because you see it

35:12

doesn't mean they need to respond to it and

35:14

listen . I'm not saying everybody's like that , but some

35:17

people are just genuinely nice , you

35:19

know , and that's just their work ethic . Like me

35:21

, I'm always nice , you

35:23

know . There's been times when me and my wife would go

35:25

to work and she would

35:27

come home and she would say this about

35:29

somebody else and , oh well , you treated her , um

35:32

Way better than you treated me . No

35:34

, that's not true , I married you

35:36

, I love you , so it doesn't

35:38

matter how , one of the way I treat you , but you are

35:40

my number one . They are not , they're just people

35:42

I work with and that should

35:44

be it . So Better

35:48

communication , I don't know . Better communication

35:51

can consist of Me us

35:53

coming together on a project and collaborating on a project

35:55

to make sure we get this project done . So

35:58

that's my communication . Um

36:00

, number five your

36:04

spouse can relate to all your problems . Well , that

36:06

kind of goes back to number four . So

36:08

number four , number five , should really be somewhat together

36:12

. Somewhat . Now

36:14

you can understand each other's problems in better light

36:16

. You will know the kind of

36:18

person uh , professional problems

36:21

that your spouse is facing , and

36:23

they'll know about you similarity . You can

36:25

give them more information and professional

36:27

and personal advice in which you couldn't

36:29

have , which you couldn't have if

36:31

you weren't working together . Well , that

36:34

may be true , that

36:36

may be true , and I'll give you that , but

36:39

we're not

36:41

there to watch each other work . That's why we

36:43

have manager or bosses , and

36:46

we want to be careful on that

36:48

one , because your

36:51

spouse can relate to all your problems and though

36:54

I'm

36:56

okay , though , that they see what you're

36:58

doing and then somebody else Maybe

37:01

comes behind and critiques what you're doing

37:03

and then they add their two

37:05

cents in it , then you might take that as the wrong

37:07

way . You know well how

37:09

come you're not telling him that but you're telling me this . Well

37:11

, I see you doing it and it's not even a bad

37:14

thing . It could just be just the smallest things . But

37:16

we can

37:18

look at it as if your spouse gets to you

37:20

first and says , hey , you know , I just want to give you a

37:22

heads up . This is what they're

37:24

gonna probably ask you not to do , or or do

37:26

it this way that far . But

37:29

I don't think if they're doing it , if

37:31

they're agreeing with somebody , they're putting you on blast

37:33

, because that raises a whole another

37:35

argument . So that's why set number four should

37:39

be in with number five , because it's

37:42

not the fact you can relate to their problem . They're gonna see this

37:44

as you thinking

37:46

that you are the problem and they're

37:48

trying to correct that problem , or they want you

37:51

to be putting your place because you guys are married

37:53

. Yeah , and that's

37:55

kind of the sense , it's kind of the feel

37:58

that I get with that

38:00

. So I

38:02

know some of you guys can relate out there , like working

38:04

with your spouse and yeah , when he said this about

38:06

me and we was in a meeting and

38:08

I felt like I was just being jumped on . And

38:11

it's not even the case like that . It's business

38:13

From the time you go to work

38:15

, from the time you punch in , from the time you punch

38:17

out , it is strictly business . Your

38:20

worth ethnic has nothing to do with the

38:22

home life . Now

38:25

some of you might say , well , yes , it does . I don't think

38:27

it does , because what you do at home and what you

38:29

do at work are two different things . Now , can you

38:31

apply Excuse me , can

38:33

you apply some of those things you can

38:35

? You can . If it's making

38:37

you a better person in terms of

38:39

working , then yes . But

38:42

we gotta kind of remember , when we're

38:44

working together , not everything

38:46

is gonna work that you do at home

38:48

. You're not gonna take that to work and be like , okay , well

38:50

, I tried this at home , let me see if I can try this here

38:52

. And if it doesn't work , just

38:54

be prepared for the outcome , and the outcome cannot

38:57

always be a negative thing . It's like I tell

38:59

you guys before , any and everything

39:01

somebody says to me , I take as a positive

39:04

, I don't take it as a negative . I

39:06

enjoy criticism , especially constructive

39:08

criticism , because I wanna be

39:10

a better person . I don't wanna

39:12

be this person that you know . You tell me something

39:14

and I'm going ham , or I'm going post

39:16

, or I'm in the bathroom shaving my damn head trying

39:19

to figure out where it went wrong . So

39:22

that's just me

39:24

. So , number four , number five

39:26

, somewhat the same

39:28

. You know , we'll leave it at that

39:31

. We'll leave it at that . All

39:35

you do . This is number six . All you

39:37

do , excuse

39:40

me , is talk about work . Although

39:43

there are upsides to sharing the

39:47

same field of work , there are also some

39:49

significant drawbacks , and

39:53

when you share a particular field of work

39:55

, your conversation tends to become more centered around

39:58

it . After a while , the only thing you can talk

40:00

about is your job and it becomes less

40:02

meaningful . Even if

40:04

you try to refrain from it , work

40:06

always creates you to the conversation . It

40:09

can become difficult to keep it

40:11

work and focus on other things at

40:13

home . Well , in

40:16

a sense it's kind of true , because

40:18

when I came home from work and

40:20

I would tell my wife it would only be probably about maybe

40:23

30 , 30

40:25

or 40 minutes of this is what happened . Maybe

40:27

less than that . It just kind of depends on the day

40:29

I went . But things

40:32

that are centered around work should kind of stay at work

40:34

and it's like I said before when you guys

40:36

punch in and you

40:39

punch out now when you're driving home

40:42

, that's the unwind time . Depending

40:44

on if you have an hour of time to kill , that

40:46

whole hour should be your whole time to

40:48

unwind , you know , and

40:50

then once you get to the kids

40:52

or you get home , that should be it

40:54

. We shouldn't discuss this , no more . We

40:56

should be discussing what's for dinner , what

40:59

are we gonna watch , what should we

41:01

do tonight , and things like that . Once

41:03

it's at work , leave it at work . I

41:05

would let it go straight from there . I wouldn't kind

41:07

of keep . You know

41:09

, I understand that things make us

41:11

mad at work and we wanna keep trying to talk

41:14

it out and get out of our system

41:16

. But I feel that we've already done that . So why

41:18

do we need to keep bringing it back over

41:20

and over again ? We don't need it . Don't need it . Just

41:23

let it go . Is it gonna change the outcome

41:25

of anything ? No , you're just venting your frustrations

41:27

, you're letting things out . So

41:32

not a whole lot I can say about that . That

41:35

already hasn't been said . So we'll leave

41:37

it at that . The next

41:39

one oh , excuse me

41:41

, financial

41:44

, troubled water Sharing the same field

41:46

of work can be financially beneficial when

41:49

the job is right . However , when things

41:51

start to go south , you can find yourself in a financial

41:53

predicament . If your industry is

41:56

badly affected , there

41:58

would be nothing else to fall back on One

42:00

or both . You could lose your job in a great

42:02

pay cut and get a pay cut sorry

42:04

, and there will also be no way out of that other

42:06

than trying to try different avenues

42:09

and occupations . So , anissa , this

42:12

is where this

42:14

comes in as being a positive

42:16

, because

42:21

when I worked with my wife , we

42:24

had the same off days and

42:26

then , on the same off days , we

42:29

would have days that we were still

42:31

off to get like holidays that you wouldn't get paid

42:33

for , or that you would or you wouldn't get paid

42:35

for . So

42:37

I think that

42:40

, while

42:45

you having a different job and

42:47

him having a different job is good Because

42:50

, like they say , you never know what's gonna happen and

42:52

there's no point of both of you being out of work , because

42:55

if both of you are out of work , then you're both trying to

42:57

hustle and trying to struggle to find

42:59

the next job . So

43:01

this is where I say you

43:03

finding a different job away

43:07

from him is a good thing , because

43:09

you're in two different employers

43:11

. You know , if something happens to

43:13

him or something happens to you God forbid either

43:17

one of y'all could fall back on each other , and that's what me

43:19

and my wife had . So when we

43:21

worked together and when

43:23

we stopped working together , she

43:25

had her own thing , she had mine . Well , there was money

43:28

still coming in , but in the same sense

43:30

, even though she's doing what she loved and I'm doing what

43:32

I love , there was no issue there . Money

43:35

wasn't a factor . So

43:37

you definitely want to have something to fall back on and

43:39

I think , as COVID taught us , if

43:42

we're both in the same field , well , we're both

43:44

suffering . You know , because we both

43:46

have the same job , we both don't know where

43:49

the next paycheck is coming from or how are we gonna survive

43:51

or how are we gonna live . So

43:53

I understand that during COVID , that

43:55

there were some that were essential

43:57

workers and there were some that were non-essential workers . Were the

43:59

essential workers , still had jobs , had

44:02

to get money , and I was an essential worker . So

44:05

, though my wife couldn't go to work , I

44:07

could , because I was an essential worker . I

44:09

needed to transport medical

44:12

supplies to local hospitals and

44:15

wherever they needed to go . So

44:18

that is a good thing . So

44:20

I think , in

44:22

that sense , when you talk

44:24

about finding another job , that is one

44:27

of the key factors in my opinion that

44:29

should be looked at and kind of

44:31

studied upon . Because

44:34

, like I said before , if

44:37

something goes wrong with his job , if something goes wrong if

44:39

you're both to get the same job , then you're both like , oh

44:41

my God , how did this happen ? And we all see that

44:43

sometimes this does happen . We've seen couples that

44:46

have worked together and

44:48

they both will be laid off on the same job and

44:51

it's sad . There's nothing you can do about

44:53

it . What can you do ? Nothing

44:56

. I mean , you're both gonna be upset , you're

44:58

both gonna cry because you both lost income at

45:00

the same damn time . Is

45:03

it fair ? Not really . Does it happen

45:05

all the time , all

45:08

the time ? So

45:10

number eight number eight

45:13

is not really a

45:15

big thing to me , but I'll read

45:17

it anyways and

45:22

we'll kind of get through it . But it's not really

45:25

. I know it's meant

45:27

for somebody , but we're gonna read it anyway . So it comes with

45:29

. Number eight is that it becomes a competition

45:31

. If you and your partner are

45:33

both goal-driven individuals working

45:36

in the same field can turn it to some serious , unhealthy

45:38

competition . You start to compete

45:40

against each other and it's inevitable that one of you

45:42

will succeed faster than the other . When

45:45

you work for the same company , you can become

45:47

more envious of each other . Just think

45:49

about the opportunities that you both can have as advancements

45:52

within your company . If

45:54

one of you gets it , the other can leave

45:56

to resentment and bad vibes . Okay

45:58

, so a little bit about that

46:00

. I believe that . I believe

46:02

that to be true . My

46:06

wife wasn't jealous of me even

46:09

when I became her boss , because at the end of the day , she's

46:11

still the boss , let's keep it real . But she respected

46:14

my position . You know , when

46:16

we were working together at the bus company and

46:18

I advanced into management , I

46:20

became a lead dispatcher

46:22

and she respected that she

46:25

did . There was no favoritism

46:28

, there was no competition or there was

46:30

no he's doing a bad job or

46:32

any of that . And I know some of us have that

46:34

drive vendors to compete

46:37

against each other , and you don't really need

46:39

to , because you've already won

46:41

. What's the prize ? The

46:43

prize is that you won each other . So

46:46

if you know you're working at

46:48

things at home and then you both

46:50

bring to the job in a positive way

46:52

, then eventually somebody's gonna get promoted

46:55

and eventually somebody's gonna be

46:57

happy for you . Now , why you

46:59

wouldn't be happy with that person , I don't know . Do you

47:01

think they would probably give a big hand or something like that

47:03

? Maybe show favoritism to another coworker

47:05

, maybe . But that wasn't

47:07

my thing . My thing was I was always

47:09

driven to just

47:12

to do better . You know

47:14

my wife she's made management , she's done

47:17

management , and I couldn't be more happy about

47:19

her because there's a lot of things that she's taught

47:21

me in vice versa . So

47:23

I don't think that . And

47:26

because I know that there's a lot of couples that are

47:28

just in competition with each

47:30

other , you know they wanna make themselves

47:32

look good instead of working together as a team

47:34

to make the team look better . And

47:36

I get that , I do . At the same

47:38

time , I kinda don't , because how

47:40

many people are you stepping on , including

47:42

the one that you love ? Even though I did say when you

47:44

go to work , it is just business

47:47

. Just because it's business doesn't

47:49

mean you have to dog the one that you love or

47:52

disrespect the one that you love . You

47:54

don't have to do that . So you

47:56

don't say anything in your letter that this is an issue . This

47:59

part here is an issue . I get that . So

48:02

I definitely understand

48:04

that . I do . I definitely

48:06

get it . I understand it . Now

48:09

, I don't

48:11

even think that there's a time I can recall that me and

48:13

my wife were in such competition

48:16

with each other which we really weren't . I

48:19

mean , did she do a lot of things

48:21

better than I did ? Yes , even

48:23

though I'm the one that taught her . But

48:25

I was always proud of her and nothing

48:27

made me feel a lot more better and more happy that knowing

48:30

that I helped her out along the

48:32

way and that she is succeeding at what she

48:34

is doing . And it's not thanks because

48:36

of me , it's thanks because of us , because

48:38

we are a team together . And

48:41

when you're a team together and you're

48:43

helping the other succeed and

48:46

it's nothing but a great feeling

48:48

. That's like when either

48:51

husband and wife start or

48:53

back in each other on starting a business . They are there

48:55

, they can see and start that business . That business

48:57

grows into a success and

48:59

you guys are looking like well , we've came a long way . That's

49:03

what I'm talking about . So if you wanna be

49:05

in competition with each other , be

49:08

in competition to make each other

49:10

succeed , be in competition to

49:12

back each other up . 24 seven . Now

49:15

you're always gonna have that workplace drama where

49:17

somebody's gonna say something crucial about

49:19

the one that you love , don't take it personal

49:22

, because I didn't . I

49:24

didn't take it down to personal . Now , if I

49:26

felt that my significant other

49:28

was being attacked , I might step in and say and

49:30

try a different approach , but not go

49:32

in all ham and go

49:34

crazy on everybody and say , well , this is my wife

49:36

y'all gonna respect . No , because that's when we're

49:39

bringing the home life into the work

49:41

life and this is just business

49:43

. It's nothing personal , just business

49:45

. So , lord

49:52

, after this I'll get some more tea . Oh

49:55

, I love this tea . Hope

49:58

you have red diamond where y'all at and Eugene

50:00

, oregon . There's no red diamond

50:02

here . It's off the chain . Okay

50:05

, so Moving

50:12

on no personal

50:14

space . Now , this

50:17

is what Anissa's talking about . Well

50:21

, it's one of the first cons that come with the territory

50:24

. You just won't have any personal

50:26

space . It is self-explanatory

50:28

as it gets . If

50:31

you're one of those who need their warm

50:33

personal space working with your partners not

50:35

the best idea for you . And Anissa

50:37

, I feel that through this letter that you have written me , I don't

50:39

think this is for you and I don't think

50:41

it's a bad thing . I think

50:43

you just want the independence as well , as a lot of

50:45

us do . Sometimes working

50:48

with your spouse can be a good

50:50

thing because there's

50:52

a lot of factors involved , a

50:54

lot of factors , and whatever the factor may be , it

50:57

could be a good thing for the time being . But

50:59

going forward and seeing

51:02

each other all the time and , you know , from

51:04

sun to sundown I mean I got to be honest with you in

51:06

this . I don't honestly see how you

51:09

made it this far . I don't know if you have been in the same

51:11

job together for

51:13

six years , but that to me is kind of it's

51:16

kind of stressful

51:18

to me , because there is no

51:20

alone time , you know

51:22

, and if

51:25

you see him regularly , like you , like

51:27

I think you do in this letter , because

51:30

you see him talking to other

51:32

coworkers , then I

51:34

think it's kind of a regular thing . So I think it's

51:37

not a bad thing to want this . It really

51:40

isn't . I think it is a good thing because

51:42

, again , like I said before , there's

51:44

room for romance , there's room

51:46

for , in my mind , mystery and

51:49

what I'm excuse me , lord , I keep burping

51:51

his teeth . What I mean by mystery is

51:54

that me and my wife we

51:57

would play a game that we didn't know , think we were playing , and

52:01

it's called the waiting game , couldn't wait

52:03

to get home , couldn't wait to see you , couldn't wait

52:05

to be with you . That was our waiting game

52:07

and I loved it . Oh my God , I loved

52:09

it . I freaking loved it . So

52:12

the waiting game

52:14

to me every day was fun

52:16

because when I would leave , the

52:18

minute I set foot out the

52:20

bed or leave the house to go to work , I just could not wait

52:22

to get home to her . I cannot wait to

52:25

see her smiling face , I

52:27

cannot wait just to just to hold

52:29

her . I mean , I know I keep saying

52:31

it , but that's what it is . You know , when

52:33

your relationship is strong and it's built on love

52:35

, trust and honesty , none of that other

52:38

shit matters . It kind of goes out the window , and

52:40

knowing that you're

52:43

at home waiting for me or I'm at home waiting

52:45

for you , oh my gosh . Talk

52:47

about a feeling of butterflies

52:49

and rush . I love it . Oh my

52:51

God , I love it . It is freaking

52:53

ridiculous , but

52:56

having

53:00

your own personal space is

53:03

a good thing . We all need it , we

53:05

all should have it . And again

53:08

, this podcast may not be

53:10

for some of y'all . Some of y'all might have the best working

53:12

relationship with your spouse , and hats

53:14

off to you . I am grateful that you do

53:16

. But not everybody's built the

53:18

same way Not

53:21

everybody's . Would I do this

53:23

again with my wife ? I probably would . Would

53:25

it last long ? Maybe not , but

53:28

then again , me and my wife would work long

53:31

enough so hard together with our kids

53:33

and building our life together . Been married

53:35

for 26 years , I

53:37

mean I wouldn't trade

53:39

anything for none of that . I

53:42

would give any day anything

53:44

just to see her smile again and

53:46

just to hear her say my name , just

53:49

for me to hold her in my arms . And

53:52

that's the kind of feeling we should have when

53:54

we're working or free . Have somebody at home

53:57

, you know . But if you're working with

53:59

each other , the

54:01

benefits of working with each other is that other people

54:03

can see you as a power couple . They

54:05

can see that you know . No matter

54:07

what comes your guys's way , you

54:09

can deal with it right then and there , whether

54:11

it's negative , positive or vice

54:13

versa , or anything , anything bad , anything

54:16

that arises or somebody's trying to cheer you apart

54:18

. You don't let that happen . So

54:20

when you're working together , people

54:23

can see that you are a united front

54:25

. People can see that , oh , they mean business

54:28

. No , they don't . They don't play around , no

54:30

, or that office coworker

54:32

that can try to be flirtatious with either

54:34

you or your husband or whoever

54:37

, and they know that their advances

54:39

are not welcome and they quickly

54:41

get shut down . I

54:43

had that same notion . My wife had that same

54:45

notion . Do sometimes we

54:47

kind of fall and slip up ? Yeah

54:50

, we do , but I

54:52

think when we fall we pick ourselves up and

54:54

we don't let nobody else help us up . To

54:57

me I like that because if

54:59

somebody else

55:01

is helping us up , then they're born , those

55:03

young and what they're only thinking to

55:05

help themselves . I

55:07

said that backwards . When

55:10

you fall and you pick yourself up , that

55:14

means you can do better by keeping

55:16

yourself in control . But

55:19

and take this metaphorically speaking

55:21

, if you're letting somebody else help you up

55:23

, then

55:25

in their mind it's

55:27

kind of a game . You may not think it's a game , they

55:30

may think it's the game , and the game is that

55:33

this is what the angle I'm working . So

55:39

do we sometimes want to play the victim

55:41

in our own kind of falling ? I don't

55:43

know . Yeah , I'm just trying to make

55:45

sense of this the best way I can . So I know I'm kind of flip flamin'

55:47

for whatever , but this tea got me going

55:49

crazy . That's just talking about that

55:51

tea . But

55:55

you know you guys aren't trying to say so

55:57

. I want to be at all

55:59

fair . I want to be at all

56:01

you know , partial

56:04

about this . You

56:06

know you have people at work that will want

56:09

to see you fail , and when you have people that work that want

56:11

to see you fail , they win , even though when

56:13

they win they want nothing to do with you because what they've

56:16

already done they succeeded

56:18

at , and

56:21

I don't know why that is . But you have people like that in this

56:24

world . But , anissa , it sounds like you

56:26

have a great husband who doesn't

56:29

welcome those kind of advances . But people will push your buttons

56:31

. My advice is just don't let

56:34

them . Number 10 , we've already covered , but we'll go over a little

56:36

bit again . Not too much . You

56:38

will take your work home . Suppose

56:41

you have an argument regarding work . If you're co-workers , the argument

56:43

would cease to exist outside the office , but

56:46

since you are a couple , you most likely take

56:49

the argument home . This

56:51

can disrupt the positive energy in your home , since

56:54

the lines between work and home become

56:56

so blurred . Separating the two is

56:58

always a good idea . We just talked about that

57:00

. We just talked about that because , as a couple

57:02

, people want to see you guys fail . Some

57:06

do , some don't . Most of the time

57:09

. Some put it to you this way . I've worked with a lot of husbands and

57:11

wives and I would

57:13

never like to see them fail . Now I've seen some arguments

57:16

that have ensued

57:18

on the job and I would politely take

57:20

both of them into my office and say , hey , I'm going to

57:22

be a good guy . I've seen some arguments that have ensued

57:24

on the job and I would politely take both of

57:26

them into my office and say , hey , we can't

57:29

do this . I'm going to leave you guys in my office

57:31

for about five minutes to see if we can work this out , but

57:34

after that we need to get back on the grind . Because this is what

57:36

I tell people If you're married

57:38

, don't bring home to

57:40

work . I don't want to

57:42

see it , even though co-workers want to see it

57:44

, I don't want to see it . That makes for

57:47

a lousy workplace and that's not what we're about

57:49

here . I mean , I've

57:51

seen this at Walmart Renaissance Center , a nursing

57:53

home I was working at . I

57:56

mean , for what ? For what ? What you do is at home . Leave

57:58

at home . I tell anybody and I

58:00

know I'm pretty sure everybody you guys heard this when you're

58:02

on my clock leave your problems at home . Don't bring your

58:04

problems here . I

58:07

don't want to hear you on your cell phone talking about this and the other or what . This person

58:09

I kid you not , I was at a transfer station last week . This

58:14

lady was waiting to dump her truck . When

58:17

she pulled up to dump , she was on the phone for a better part

58:19

of 15 minutes arguing with somebody . I don't

58:21

know who it was , but it was loud . All

58:24

I can hear is I know

58:26

you with her while I'm at work . So clearly

58:28

something's going on there

58:31

. Now

58:34

, while she's arguing with her , due to whoever on

58:36

the phone , the people at the transfer station are trying to tell her you

58:38

need to dump your truck and go . We got to get these other trucks in here

58:41

so we can dump . Oh , lord , lord , lord . She

58:44

was not listening to a damn thing . It

58:46

got so bad . They had to brought , they brought out

58:49

management , and

58:52

when she seen management coming , then she started to

58:54

pick up the pace and then manager brought over and said I don't know

58:56

what they said , they

58:59

just told her . I seen one guy told to get out the truck and another manager came in

59:01

and got the truck and then parked the truck . So

59:03

after that I don't know what happened , but that

59:05

kind of shit doesn't need to happen

59:07

at work . Leave work at work . When I'm at work

59:10

, it's hands on Grind time

59:12

, I'm punched in , I'm locked

59:14

and loaded . It's

59:17

time to get this paper . It's

59:19

time to get it . So people want to

59:23

see that at work . And

59:26

again , going back to what I just said , you have those people

59:28

that want to see you fail . You have those people that want

59:30

to see your demise . You

59:32

have those people that want to test your relationship . You

59:35

have those females or those males that

59:37

want to talk a certain way to you . But

59:40

when they know that you have somebody and they know

59:42

that that person looks damn good , they

59:45

want to try in everything to pull that . But

59:47

when they get that , this is a done deal

59:49

. Now

59:51

, is it wrong for

59:54

your spouse to partake ? Yes , but

59:58

if your spouse is the person

1:00:00

that they are and who you married

1:00:02

or who you love , the nation have no

1:00:04

problems with rejecting any advancements . That's

1:00:06

the one thing I love about my wife she's appetite

1:00:08

. She could smell bullshit

1:00:11

from a mile away . She

1:00:13

really good . She wouldn't let nobody get

1:00:16

up under her skin . Well , sometimes she would

1:00:18

, but she would not even feed into

1:00:20

it . And that's the thing about me . People

1:00:23

who knew me knew my wife would not even mess

1:00:25

with me , and what I mean mess

1:00:27

with me . They wouldn't make advance because my wife though

1:00:29

Lord , I love that woman , god

1:00:32

rest her soul . Though she was so small

1:00:34

and petite , she was a

1:00:36

ball of fire . Cross

1:00:39

her the wrong way and see what happens . But

1:00:42

she didn't do it like viciously . I

1:00:44

mean she might let you get away with it once , but

1:00:48

then the next time she'll come around and she'll politely

1:00:50

explain to you . She'll explain

1:00:52

it to you , but then maybe fire timbers

1:00:54

in the conversation . It's going to go left . And

1:00:56

no , she wasn't a violent woman , but

1:00:58

she could probably see , like women , women

1:01:00

can always sniff out the bullshit between other women because

1:01:03

they know that . I know what you're trying to do , mm . Hmm

1:01:05

. No , I didn't come work , mm . Hmm , it's gonna

1:01:07

work . So

1:01:09

Leave

1:01:12

work at work . Your

1:01:16

home life is your home life . Don't

1:01:18

take what happened in the morning . You

1:01:20

bring it to work . Y'all both have bad blood

1:01:22

because it can go bad for either one of you

1:01:24

either way . So

1:01:29

as you get ready to close this out , bottom

1:01:32

line , everyone is different than some people Would

1:01:34

love to work with their partners , others

1:01:36

not so much inclined to share

1:01:38

in the work field . Either

1:01:40

way , you'll be able to weigh up

1:01:43

the pros and the cons of working with your spouse

1:01:45

, while following up for couples

1:01:47

working together , and to figure out what

1:01:49

will work in the end . So

1:01:51

if this is something that you want to pursue in

1:01:54

I know some of us know we have

1:01:56

that wait and see attitude Well , let's

1:01:58

wait and see what happens . I wouldn't recommend it . Wouldn't

1:02:00

recommend it , I

1:02:03

mean because we all hear the tales of the work husband

1:02:06

or the work wife . I personally

1:02:08

don't believe in that shit because that does nothing

1:02:10

for me . There's only one wife that

1:02:12

I knew . There's only one wife that I love

1:02:14

. I don't have a work wife . At work

1:02:17

, I may have an assistant or

1:02:19

a coworker , and that's just what it

1:02:21

is . There's nothing more than that . We're

1:02:24

not friends or coworker . At the end of the

1:02:26

day , you come in to get a paycheck , just like I

1:02:29

do . Nothing more , nothing less . If

1:02:32

there's a friendship to be had at the

1:02:34

work , maybe let's see what happened . But then again , you

1:02:36

all know me as well as I know I

1:02:38

don't have friends . I

1:02:40

still don't have friends . Am I mad about

1:02:42

that ? Hell , no , for anything

1:02:44

. I give anything to have my wife here with me God

1:02:47

rest her soul who I love , but

1:02:49

it's all good . So

1:02:52

, as you get ready to close the doubt

1:02:54

, I want to say thank you , anissa . I

1:02:57

hope that you and Alex are

1:02:59

on a better path . I hope

1:03:01

that you find something that you are

1:03:04

leaning towards

1:03:06

, something that you can do

1:03:09

, and when you talk to Alex , let him know

1:03:11

. I'm pretty sure it sounds

1:03:13

like your husband is a stand up guy . I

1:03:15

don't think there's . I think the more pressure is on you

1:03:17

than him , and it shouldn't even be

1:03:19

that way . Just talk to him , tell

1:03:22

him what you're looking to do . Don't

1:03:24

give him the negative . Give him the positive side

1:03:26

of it . And if you want to say

1:03:29

you think your marriage is going to suffer , I wouldn't worry like that . I

1:03:31

would just say well , listen , I want the time to come home

1:03:33

to you just to say I

1:03:36

love you . So

1:03:39

I love you , I'm not tired of you . But

1:03:41

I feel like I should do something different , because what

1:03:43

if these things happen ? What if this happens

1:03:46

? Don't go too far negative , just

1:03:48

stay positive . My

1:03:51

friends , I want

1:03:53

to say thank you for listening to the show . My

1:03:56

name is Derek . I am Endeavor Empire . If

1:04:00

you have any letters , complaints

1:04:02

, comments or comments ? Just want to talk about anything

1:04:04

. My email

1:04:06

address is D6Empire357

1:04:10

at gmailcom . My

1:04:13

links are changing . I'm navigating away

1:04:15

from Facebook . Most of y'all , my posts

1:04:18

should be on social media and

1:04:20

I'm working on threads . My

1:04:23

friends , till next time , take care of yourself and each

1:04:25

other . God

1:04:27

bless you all . Y'all . Have a good one , thank

1:06:03

you .