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0:31

Hey, it's Michael. Today we

0:33

have something really special for you, a

0:35

blissful break from the news. It's

0:38

a new series from NYT Audio called

0:42

Animal. My colleague Sam

0:44

Anderson from the Times Magazine traveled

0:47

the world to have encounters with

0:49

animals, not to claim them or

0:51

to tame them, but just

0:53

to appreciate them. Each

0:55

episode is a journey to get

0:57

closer to a creature that Sam

1:00

loves. For the next six

1:02

weeks, we'll be running this limited series every

1:04

Sunday here on the Daily Feed. But

1:06

if you want to hear all the episodes

1:09

right now, you can search for it wherever

1:11

you get your podcasts. Today,

1:14

episode four. Hope

1:16

you like it. Where are we? Is

1:20

this actually where... Yeah, I think we're here. This

1:23

looks pretty sketchy. Turn right into the parking lot,

1:25

then arrive at your destination.

1:27

What? What do you see? The

1:29

license plate. The license plate says ferret. What, what,

1:32

what? What are you pointing at? You're

1:34

getting... Oh my God, that license plate

1:37

says I love my ferrets. Ahh! That's

1:39

a ferret. That's a ferret. That's a

1:41

ferret. That's a ferret. That's a

1:43

ferret. That's a ferret. That's a ferret.

1:45

That's a ferret. That's a ferret. Ahh!

1:48

It's happening. My people. Okay, let's go

1:50

check in. I'm going to

1:54

be honest with you, I'm a middle aged man. My

2:00

life is dull and soft.

2:02

I'm basically a human butter

2:04

knife. But there's one

2:06

thing that instantly fills me with joy.

2:10

Giddy, squeaky, childlike joy. We found

2:12

my people. They're loading up a

2:14

cart full of like ferret products.

2:16

From the New York Times, I'm

2:19

Sam Anderson. This is

2:21

Animal, episode four,

2:24

ferrets. How

2:31

many ferrets were in that van? I saw... Oh, we're not

2:33

done yet. It's August,

2:35

and I've just arrived with

2:37

my colleague, Crystal Duhamme, in

2:40

Columbus, Ohio, which at

2:42

this moment happens to be the

2:44

most ferrety place in America. People

2:46

come from all around. I came

2:48

from Minnesota. Because ferret enthusiasts from

2:51

all over the country are pouring

2:53

in for one of the major

2:55

stops on the National Ferret Circuit,

2:58

a competition called the Ferret

3:01

Buckeye Bash. Basically,

3:03

imagine the prestige of the

3:05

Westminster Dog Show. But instead

3:07

of Beagles and Pomeranians, it's

3:10

just hundreds of ferrets. I'm sorry.

3:12

This is a rolling tower of

3:14

ferrets. As we're standing in the

3:16

lobby of the official competition hotel,

3:18

a woman walks

3:20

in, rolling a luggage cart

3:23

stacked with cages. There's four

3:25

in here, two in here, three in there.

3:28

There's brown ferrets, albino

3:30

ferrets, ferrets lounging around

3:32

in miniature hammocks, and

3:35

snuggled up in comfy little beds. This

3:38

is Phineas Weasleton. He's really long.

3:40

Did you say Phineas Weasleton? Yeah.

3:43

And before I know it... You should see what I've got in

3:45

my car. I want to see what

3:47

you guys are doing. I'm helping her and her

3:49

ferret friends unload. A

3:53

ferret, for anyone who doesn't know, is

3:56

basically a weasel. It's

3:59

long and tight. tubular, sort of like

4:01

a badger crossed with a snake, but

4:03

also crossed with a teddy bear. What

4:06

am I seeing in the cage that these ferrets are

4:08

eating? Every raw meat. Well, this

4:10

is salad and chewy over here, but... Some

4:12

of the cages we're unloading are littered with

4:14

bones and carcasses of

4:16

like whole dead birds. Why is

4:18

this bear a bald? They

4:21

have adrenal disease, which is common, especially

4:23

in marshal ferrets. This might be

4:25

the place to mention that ferrets

4:27

can be pretty polarizing pets. People

4:30

who love them like me really

4:32

love them, and people who don't

4:34

love them, which is probably most of

4:36

humanity, really do not

4:39

love them. Wait, what happens if I put my

4:41

fingers in that bottom cage? He will probably bite

4:43

you. Yeah, to the bone. To

4:45

the bone. What? The

4:47

word ferret comes from the Latin for

4:50

little thief. They were

4:52

domesticated basically yesterday, historically speaking,

4:54

around 2,500 years ago. Just

4:58

for reference, dogs were domesticated more like

5:00

20,000 years ago. And

5:03

ferrets were mainly used to hunt rodents

5:05

and rabbits. They have

5:08

sharp claws and oily fur

5:10

and glands that make them smell weird, and

5:14

also extremely strong jaws, which

5:17

they are not at all afraid to use. In

5:20

fact, this is part of why ferrets

5:23

are actually illegal to keep as pets

5:25

in a couple of states. But

5:28

in spite of all that, I

5:30

have loved ferrets my whole life. As

5:35

a kid growing up in Oregon, I

5:37

desperately wanted one. They were at all

5:40

the pet stores I went to, and

5:42

I'd go running past the gerbils

5:44

and hamsters and parakeets and just

5:46

stand there with the ferrets communing

5:48

for as long as I could,

5:50

letting them bite my fingers through

5:52

the cage. But

5:54

I was never allowed to take one home. And

5:58

here's the thing, unfulfilled child. dreams.

6:00

They don't just die. They follow you around

6:02

and scratch at you and burrow a

6:04

hole deep

6:11

into your heart. Which is why I've come

6:15

all the way here to the official hotel

6:18

of the

6:24

ferret Buckeye

6:26

bash. Because

6:28

this hotel is filling up

6:30

fast with chaotic ferrets and

6:33

ferret people. One

6:36

of whom has agreed to help

6:38

fulfill my childhood dream by

6:40

initiating me to

6:43

the ferret lifestyle. Hello.

6:48

Hey. Hi.

6:52

This is Millie Mildred. Hi.

6:54

Look at this lady. But the first

6:56

ferret we meet is actually a large

6:59

dog. I'm sorry. Yeah, I just adopted

7:01

her on Tuesday so we're still kind

7:03

of getting to know each other. Whoa.

7:05

Hey, I'm Sam. Hi, I'm Erin. Erin

7:09

Ermin just drove here from upstate New

7:11

York. Many hours in her

7:13

tiny car with not only Millie,

7:15

her newly adopted dog, but also

7:17

her friend Karen and

7:20

of course her ferrets whose cages

7:22

are now wedged around the room.

7:24

There's one by the microwave, one

7:26

by the coffee maker. Well, should

7:28

we meet some buddies? Yeah, you

7:31

can. This is Erin's first

7:33

time competing in the Buckeye bash. Yes,

7:35

this is Genesis. Genesis

7:38

looks exactly like the ferret

7:40

of my childhood dreams. But

7:42

she's gorgeous, right? Yeah.

7:44

Um. What a beauty.

7:47

Actually, you want to hold her? Uh-huh. Hey,

7:52

sweetie. Hey, sweet

7:54

ferret. She's so

7:57

slithery. You know

7:59

that classic thing of they do in movies

8:01

when they want to show something is beautiful,

8:03

the shaft of heavenly

8:05

light pouring down, angel

8:08

choir singing, well, a

8:10

majestic heavenly light is not

8:12

worthy of Genesis. If

8:15

you really wanted to signify

8:17

the spectacular, otherworldly beauty

8:19

of Genesis, you'd have to make

8:21

a shaft of little Genesises pouring

8:23

down from the sky. Genesis

8:27

is really checking me out. I'm really

8:29

being stared at. She

8:32

is probably my favorite. Don't tell the others.

8:35

Genesis is also the key

8:37

to Aaron's ferret future because

8:40

Aaron wants to breed ferrets. So

8:42

if I could have like just a

8:44

whole line of ferrets that have her

8:46

temperament and her structure, I'd

8:49

be very happy with that.

8:54

She is such a sweet face. I

8:57

know. So is she your

8:59

big hope for the competition, Genesis? For

9:04

him, he's just going to

9:06

show because he's going to show. This is when we

9:08

turn our attention to the other competitor in

9:10

the room. So this is Mr. Barry. The

9:15

yin to Genesis is Yang. Mr.

9:18

Martin and March. Yeah, Mr. Goose. This

9:20

ferret is light brown and

9:22

weirdly small. But he's

9:24

still in juvenile. And

9:28

where Genesis is calm and thoughtful

9:30

and seems to be reciting poetry

9:32

in her mind, Gooseberry

9:35

is an absolute freak. Trying.

9:37

He's trying his darnedest to get out.

9:40

He won't stop moving, thrashing around in

9:42

circles, biting the bars of his cage.

9:44

What are you doing, crazy? What

9:46

are you doing with your claws? Gooseberry

9:49

is of Hungarian descent.

9:52

And at six months old, he's

9:54

technically an adolescent hob or

9:56

in human terms, a teenaged male.

14:00

moment for the first time in my

14:02

whole life. All right, we

14:04

should let everyone get to bed. Thank you

14:06

so much for letting us hang in the

14:08

hotel room. And who knows what could

14:10

happen then. I

14:12

might have to figure out how to get

14:15

eight ferrets sleeping in hammocks onto the airplane

14:17

home and a bunch of

14:19

dead birds for them to snack on. What

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15:03

What's my subscription to the New York Times have me

15:05

doing this week? Preparing a strawberry

15:07

pretzel pie. Solving spelling

15:09

bee with no hints. Planning

15:12

a trip to one of the 52 best places to

15:14

go. Getting to

15:16

the bottom of the big pants trend. And

15:19

I'm finally replacing my vacuum with a recommendation

15:21

I can trust. What

15:23

will your subscription to the Times have you do? Why

15:25

not find out? With our

15:27

best offer. Go to

15:29

nytimes.com/subscribe. These

15:37

rings for coffee. Here's

15:40

your breakfast sandwich too. Oh,

15:42

thank you. Erin, how do you not have a ferret

15:44

vanity license plate? I

15:47

really, if I get a SUV or a

15:50

wagon, I want to call it the woozle

15:52

wagon. And like have that

15:54

on the back of it as a decal and

15:56

then like woozle one as the

15:59

license plate. The next morning

16:01

we meet Erin in a parking lot

16:03

at the Ohio State Fairgrounds. Oh I

16:05

just noticed your earrings. Those

16:08

are great. Erin is

16:10

all decked out in ferret

16:12

gear. Earrings, t-shirt, purple

16:14

ferret boots. Hey Genesis, today's

16:17

your big day. It's the day where you

16:19

win. Genesis is

16:21

looking glorious. Yeah she looks even prettier

16:23

this morning than she did last week.

16:26

So you can see her in the full light?

16:28

Yeah really. Look how clean and perfect

16:31

she is. Gooseberry is also

16:33

there. I

16:35

can't even talk to you. He loves

16:37

you. Look at him. Aw. He's not even

16:39

biting. I know. He's very calm this

16:41

morning. He's in game shape. Oh

16:44

no there he goes. Oh yeah that's gonna

16:46

happen. There he goes. All right let's get him checked

16:48

in. We are a real parade

16:51

of animals heading toward the hall.

16:53

Erin carries Gooseberry, I carry

16:55

Genesis, and Erin's friend Karen

16:57

is walking Millie the dog.

17:00

How are you? Are we going in

17:02

that way? That way. But it turns

17:04

out we're actually too many

17:06

animals. You know no animals

17:09

are allowed in here. Dogs are allowed in.

17:11

No dogs are allowed in. Oh

17:13

that's pretty obvious. You can't have a dog in

17:16

this ferret show hall. Sorry.

17:19

What are you gonna do with him then? The woman

17:21

in charge of the ferret show, Scarlett,

17:23

is saying that Millie has to go. That

17:27

will set all the ferrets off. Okay.

17:29

We don't want them biting the jump. And

17:31

as we're standing there clutching our animals, the

17:36

line behind us starts to back up.

17:38

Do you know how many ferrets in there don't even know what a dog

17:41

is? And you know how good

17:43

their smelling is? And I am

17:45

finding this extremely stressful. So it

17:47

sets them off. You

17:49

need me to do it? I'll do it. This

17:52

is your gig. This is what you do. That's

17:54

when Erin's friend Karen very

17:56

stoically announces that she is

17:58

going to walk. Millie

18:01

back to the hotel, nine

18:03

miles, halfway

18:06

across Columbus, Ohio, with this

18:08

dog she just met and

18:11

she takes the leash and just heads

18:14

off. Okay, where are we? Where

18:17

did you say we were? Jamie's leg.

18:19

I'm over somewhere. So with

18:21

the dog gone and feeling

18:23

slightly shell-shocked, we

18:26

are finally allowed to enter the hall

18:28

where we meet up with some of

18:30

Aaron's ferret friends. This

18:32

is Roy. Hello. Nice to meet you

18:34

guys. Hi, Crystal. Do

18:37

you feel bad at all about getting yelled at by

18:39

Scarlett on your way in the door? No, because

18:42

I have no idea what's going on. Everybody

18:46

will be yelled at by Scarlett. Everybody, yeah. It's like

18:49

a, it's just a thing. Just wait

18:51

your turn. So she's famous for this. Yeah,

18:53

she's really nice. She's

18:55

just very aggressive. Yeah,

18:58

you just kind of have

19:00

to take it and like keep going. That's

19:03

kind of perfect because like ferret owners are the people

19:06

who could do that the best, right? Yeah,

19:08

they actually all take it very well.

19:10

Yeah. I just nod and

19:12

smile because like I really don't know what the hell

19:15

is going on. So yeah. You

19:17

seem, I have to say

19:19

you seem comfortable existing like

19:21

in a level of sort of chaos. I

19:24

do? Yeah. Oh.

19:26

You seem chill and stuff's going on all around

19:29

you. You don't quite know what's going on. Probably

19:31

because I took my anxiety meds today, so

19:33

that's good. Okay. I

19:36

take Lexa Pro, so I was like,

19:38

yeah, yes. I had to get mine

19:40

increased recently actually. So I'm,

19:42

I'm good now. I'm good now. How many

19:44

milligrams are we talking? A 20 milligram.

19:47

Okay. I'm on 10. Good. Yeah. At times.

19:49

Yeah. You do seem very chill though. Like

19:52

getting yelled at about your dog. You're fine.

19:55

It is what it is. She's yelling at us about

19:57

the line. Nobody's going ahead of us. It's fine.

20:00

And I think that as

20:02

I get older, I just care less. So that has

20:04

something to do with it. There

20:06

is that about getting older that I like. I

20:09

felt that in my thirties for sure. Yeah,

20:11

just kinda, eh, okay. Now

20:13

I'm in my forties, I'm like hardly even present

20:16

on this earth. It's like

20:18

a floating consciousness, unaffected

20:21

by everything around me. So,

20:26

okay, what's the plan now? I don't know. I

20:30

think they start judging at 10, so. Oh

20:32

really? I think so. Probably

20:35

waiting. Oh, a schedule. Okay.

20:38

There are so many ferret

20:40

categories, just blizzards of categories

20:43

and subcategories. But

20:45

there's really only one that matters to us.

20:48

The big one that Genesis will compete

20:50

in. Breeder. Breeder. That's

20:53

her. Three to six. Three to six. Whoop.

20:56

It's gonna be a long day. I know. That

20:58

means I have approximately seven

21:00

hours to marinate in ferrets

21:03

and try out the whole ferret

21:06

lifestyle. So we're just walking

21:08

around, kinda getting the scene and interviewing people.

21:10

Hey, how's it going? Good, how are you doing? Hey,

21:12

how you doing? And as I start

21:14

talking to ferret owners. Was it like

21:16

about a ferret? Was there something that

21:18

appealed to you? What becomes clear is

21:20

that. Feel like, oh, these are kinda my

21:23

people. Ferret people are their

21:25

own special breed. It's always good to

21:27

get together with a group of ferret people.

21:29

And everybody's so kind. Anyone can own a

21:31

cat or a dog. She has ferrets on

21:33

her shoes. She's got so many ferret pins

21:35

on her hat. But ferret owners take things

21:38

to a whole different level. I've had

21:40

ferrets since 97. That

21:42

was my first ferret in 1982. And

21:45

then after that I got more, of course, because there's

21:47

ferret math, as you can ask any of these guys.

21:49

You start out with one, you end up with

21:51

many. I came home with 27 ferrets.

21:55

When I was only gonna come home with three? Yeah.

21:59

That's. of

24:00

Sally and Vicki today, including

24:03

Erin's ferrets, Genesis and

24:05

Gooseberry. What's

24:07

the rules on biting? DQ'd. Disqualified.

24:13

If they punctured raw blood, they're

24:16

out of here for all

24:18

three judges, regardless if the other judges have

24:20

seen them or not. This

24:23

is a long day for you. Long, long,

24:25

focused day. Is that exhausting? Yes, it is.

24:27

I don't know what the hotel closes at nine. I want to

24:29

be back there. Get back in

24:32

the hot tub. I wonder who's calling me. Yes.

24:38

Alright, well have fun. Edges

24:44

to the stage. We

24:50

do have some line showing if you've never been

24:52

here before, so therefore the judges do not know

24:54

who is the one who's going

24:56

to be here. And

25:00

then Genesis was up. I

25:04

have no idea. Yeah, because

25:06

they're running behind, so I don't even

25:08

know anymore. I am

25:10

a little concerned because I have an appointment to

25:12

get to at 7.30 today, so

25:15

I don't know what I'm going to do. At what time?

25:17

7.30? In

25:19

the middle of all this, Aaron

25:23

tells me that she has decided to buy

25:26

a car today. I acquired another ferret

25:28

while I was here, so... Uh-huh. And

25:31

then I was thinking to myself, where is it

25:33

going to go? I hadn't thought that far, to

25:35

be honest with you, and that's

25:38

a little embarrassing, but I figured

25:41

it out. And you had not

25:43

planned this when you left New York. No.

25:46

It was, I mean, it was in the, it was on

25:48

the back of my mind. My car is

25:51

almost old enough to vote, and

25:53

has a giant rust hole in the side, and

25:56

I still cannot bring myself to buy a new

25:58

one. What

26:01

kind of car are you getting? It's a

26:03

Hyundai Santa Fe Sport 2013. This

26:06

has already been by far the most ferrety

26:08

day of my life. And

26:11

yet, as the hours crawl

26:13

by... One, go! ...it

26:18

keeps getting exponentially more

26:20

ferrety. We

26:22

watch a tube race... It's going

26:25

backwards. ...and then an Elvis

26:27

contest... Oh, they're weighing. ...to see

26:29

who has the fattest ferret. You're

26:31

being 22! Look who

26:33

did big... And then

26:35

we peruse the infinite merch tables. Hmm.

26:39

You gonna buy any merch? So

26:41

many t-shirts to choose from. I'm

26:44

definitely gonna buy a shirt. I think I'm gonna

26:46

buy the introverted but willing to discuss ferrets. There's

26:51

a black shirt that says, ferret

26:53

hair, don't care. It's

26:55

covered with little white lines that looks

26:57

like actual ferret hair. There's

27:00

another shirt that says, unless you're a

27:03

ferret, please get away from me. That's

27:06

the one you should get. Revenge of the

27:08

ferret. By

27:10

late afternoon... We're already missing

27:12

them. We're looking for breeder cops. Things

27:16

are so far behind schedule that the

27:19

schedule might as well not have existed.

27:23

And I've reached a point I didn't think was possible.

27:27

I feel like I'm going ferret

27:29

blind. Like

27:31

I can't see ferrets anymore. I've seen so

27:34

many ferrets. That's a lot.

27:37

I've maybe had my fill of

27:39

ferrets. But that

27:41

doesn't stop Erin from trying to sell me

27:43

one of her future ferret babies. So

27:47

you're ready now? Maybe. Maybe.

27:50

Maybe. Maybe next season. Yeah,

27:53

I'm scared to get a ferret. Why? Maybe

27:56

I'm not up to it. All the

27:58

energy it takes and all the love. like, cause

28:02

I get like, you know, anxious and

28:04

like overwhelmed and like depressed. And then

28:06

what if, and then this ferret needs

28:08

me. And then like, okay, so I get

28:10

anxious and overwhelmed and depressed too. And they help.

28:12

Remember we take the same

28:15

pills, just different dosage. Um,

28:17

and the way that

28:19

you handle and you look at Genesis, I think

28:21

you'd be a good ferret dad if you want.

28:25

But now if you get one, you know, you got to

28:27

get three, three's the magic number. I think two

28:29

was kind of the magic number. No, because two

28:31

is harder because then they'll bond together maybe.

28:33

And then if one of them dies, the

28:36

other one gets really sad and it dies

28:38

shortly thereafter. So if you

28:40

have three, it's just a better life.

28:43

Yeah, I would say three. Three is like

28:45

having one, but better. Looks

28:48

like we're ready for the breeder jills. It's

28:51

time. Is it time? Finally,

28:54

it's time for Genesis to

28:56

be crowned the greatest ferret

28:58

ever to live on planet

29:00

earth. We head

29:03

to the stage where Sally and

29:05

Vicki are working their way down the line.

29:08

Number 613. And

29:12

then they get to Genesis. Here

29:15

goes our girl. She's

29:20

a little squirmy. She's

29:23

got a giggle. I don't know if that's good or bad. Easy,

29:27

easy, easy. Don't get all excited.

29:29

It's all fine and good. There's

29:34

like a maraca portion of the judging and

29:38

a rubber duck portion. Don't

29:40

get them squeaky. Like

29:46

she responded well to the duck. Just

29:49

like silk. I know her

29:52

fur is gorgeous. As

29:56

we wait for the scores to be tallied, for

29:58

the finalists to be called up. Looks like

30:00

Erin is over there getting all packed

30:02

up. I see Erin leaving the hall.

30:04

Yeah, there she goes She's

30:07

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30:09

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standing clenching my sweaty fists as

31:18

the announcer calls back all the

31:20

ferrets that have placed in Genesis's

31:22

category Genesis's number

31:25

is 613 But

31:31

they never call it. Genesis

31:34

wins nothing Yeah,

31:38

I feel too blasted to talk to anybody

31:44

And I actually feel crushed I

31:46

got all swept up in the rush

31:48

of competition and now my nervous system

31:51

Feels like a dirty old wrung-out

31:53

sponge By

31:56

this point we've been here almost 12 hours

32:00

Things are running so late that the guy

32:02

who rented out the hall is standing in

32:04

the doorway looking furious with his keys in

32:06

his hand. The

32:13

vendors and breeders are all scrambling,

32:15

packing their merch and breaking down

32:17

tables. One

32:19

of the winning ferrets gets her foot stuck in

32:21

the trophy. And

32:24

the whole thing is ending in

32:26

a crescendo of ferret chaos. Alright,

32:29

we gotta lose ferret! Did

32:31

somebody fit it up? Yes. But

32:33

someone needs to identify. And

32:35

yet, somehow, there is still one last category

32:38

left to judge. It's

32:43

called passport. For ferrets

32:46

with foreign ancestry. Which

32:49

means, gooseberry, our

32:51

Hungarian ferret, will be the last

32:53

chance to win anything. But

32:56

Aaron is still gone. It's just

32:58

me and goose. And I

33:00

really want the two of us to get

33:03

a win. So I

33:05

open his carrier. I

33:07

look at him. And he looks at

33:09

me. Then he

33:12

pops right out and nestles into my hands

33:14

like he belongs there. He's

33:16

been custom shaped to fit my grip.

33:19

How's it going? Good. He's

33:21

pretty chill. He's interested in my

33:23

beard. He's

33:25

definitely gonna shoot out of my hands in

33:27

a second here. Ow!

33:30

Okay. Bit my arm. Vicki

33:34

beckons us up to her table. She

33:38

twists and turns gooseberry in her hands.

33:40

She looks in his mouth and his

33:42

ears. And he doesn't bite

33:44

her or claw her. For once,

33:46

he's actually a good boy. And

33:49

then very matter of factly, she hands

33:51

him back to me. Like he's my ferret.

33:54

He's an addict. We were always meant to

33:56

do something. It's pretty big. And what if

33:58

he was? It would

34:00

be a really good place for a ferret, for

34:03

two or three ferrets. They

34:06

could really run around and

34:08

have their own space. They

34:10

wouldn't smell up the rest of

34:12

the house. In

34:15

eighth place, it's 905. Vicki

34:18

starts calling out the winners, countdown

34:20

style. This is 405. Sixth

34:24

place is 904. Third

34:26

place is 101. What's

34:30

happening? Fourth place is 901. That

34:33

will be crap. Third

34:37

place is 909. Is

34:40

that you? A little thick? Can

34:42

I see 108 and 109? Sam

34:47

has to show Gooseberry again to

34:50

break a tie. Two little ducklets.

34:53

Second place gives the 109. And

34:58

first place is the 108. Second

35:01

place. In the final

35:03

competition of the Buckeye Bash, Gooseberry,

35:08

the world's most ferrety ferret,

35:11

has won second place. Okay, okay,

35:13

okay, okay. I

35:15

gotta get the picture. I

35:19

pick up my triumphant green ribbon. Would

35:22

you get second to second? Awesome. And

35:24

Gooseberry and I get our official Buckeye

35:26

Bash photo. Congratulations, guys.

35:31

Alright. Thank you. Cool.

35:34

Congratulations. Thank you. We

35:38

did it, buddy. I told you we'd do

35:40

it. I told you coming into today, you

35:42

were a star and a

35:44

champion. Is

35:47

Erin coming back? Just

35:49

then, Erin texts us a photo of

35:52

her new car, a brown Hyundai with

35:54

a giant yellow bow on it. It's

35:57

big enough to fit her dog, her friend Karen.

36:00

and all of her ferrets, at

36:02

least for now. This guy got second place.

36:06

And we text her back a photo

36:08

of me with my ribbon holding goose,

36:11

looking almost terrifyingly happy. Have a great

36:13

evening. Bye, you too. She

36:15

says she'll be wrapped up with paperwork for a while

36:18

and asks if I will take the ferrets back

36:20

to the hotel. Which

36:24

of course, I'd love nothing

36:26

more. Second place? Yeah, we did

36:28

it. Holy crap, look

36:30

at you. When we meet Erin,

36:33

I tell her everything. So I tell

36:35

your ribbons, I have my ribbons. Yeah,

36:38

I was gonna say, you're gonna get that one up. And

36:41

then I reluctantly surrender

36:43

my ribbon, which

36:46

I was hoping she would let me keep. Thank

36:49

you, thank you for doing

36:51

that for me, for being there. My

36:54

pleasure. What is that? He's tired and

36:56

hungry. We all say goodbye. And

37:00

when I leave, my

37:02

ferrets stay behind. Okay.

37:06

Okay. Okay. This

37:25

episode was produced by Crystal Duhamme

37:28

and Larissa Anderson, with help from

37:30

Caitlin Roberts. It was

37:32

reported by me, Sam Anderson, and

37:35

edited by Wendy Doar and Larissa

37:37

Anderson. It was engineered

37:39

by Marion Lozano. Our

37:41

executive producer is Paula Schumann. Original

37:44

music by Marion Lozano, Dan

37:47

Powell, and Alicia Beitoupe. Fact-checking

37:50

by Caitlin Love. Special

37:52

thanks to Jake Silverstein, Sasha

37:54

Weiss, and Sam Dulnick. Also

37:57

to all the ferret people who showed me their

37:59

ways. Scarlet Grace Saling, Sally

38:02

Heber, Vicki McKimmy, and

38:04

all the many others I met at the bash

38:06

and at the hotel bar who told

38:08

me that ferrets don't actually smell that bad

38:10

and I should just get one. Aaron

38:14

Ehrman now runs Sugar and

38:16

Spice Ferretry and I

38:18

am happy to report that last summer Genesis

38:21

gave birth to a litter

38:23

of ten gorgeous kits. The

38:25

father was Gooseberry. You

38:30

can listen to all of our episodes

38:32

wherever you get podcasts or visit our

38:34

website at nytimes.com slash

38:36

animal. I'm

38:39

Sam Anderson. Thanks

38:41

for listening. Can

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of the natural world? Google

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