2:00

Yes, on the

2:02

Right to Contraception Act. This

2:04

Friday, June 7th, will be

2:06

49 years since

2:11

there was a decision made in

2:14

the, in the, in the, in

2:18

the Roe versus Wade question. Oh!

2:22

Bruh, why is this sentence taking you

2:24

49 years to say? Yeah.

2:28

How about try this instead? These

2:30

religious, nut-ass Republicans wanna force you to have

2:32

a baby. Period, the end,

2:34

that's it. But I know,

2:36

I know, politicians aren't supposed to talk that

2:39

way, but they should. In fact, before Democrats

2:41

even worry about explaining their side of an

2:43

issue, they need to learn something more basic,

2:45

how to talk like real people. Yeah,

2:48

and I'm sure that's possible.

2:50

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And

2:54

I'm sure that's possible because you know who's good at it?

2:57

Those nut-ass Republicans. The

3:00

Biden administration sucks. Sick

3:02

communists, they're marxists, they're

3:04

radical left Democrats. They're

3:06

sick people. There were riots burning down

3:09

the fucking country over George Floyd, and

3:11

I'm really sick and tired of the

3:13

bullshit annex I have to deal with

3:15

constantly. You see that?

3:17

You see that? Congress could pay off the

3:19

whole deficit by giving Marjorie Taylor Greene a swag

3:21

jar. Yeah. And

3:24

yes, I know Marjorie Taylor Greene

3:26

is a whole fool's market, but

3:28

that's authentic. That's real America.

3:30

That's what a Waffle House sounds like at 3

3:33

AM. OK? Yes,

3:36

yes, yes, yes, yes,

3:39

yes. That's making

3:41

a scene at Ann Taylor Loft because

3:43

you can't make a return without the

3:45

receipt. Same

3:47

with Donald Trump. He is a guy who

3:50

knows what he wants and knows how to

3:52

get it. The message is terrible, but it's

3:54

clear. When he says, build the wall, lock

3:56

her up, I hate sharks, no one goes,

3:58

I wonder what he means. Okay? Folks

4:02

appreciate when someone sounds authentic, even

4:04

if their ideas are terrible. But with Democrats,

4:06

even when they talk about the good things

4:08

they've done, it sounds fake. And I know

4:10

that they're capable of sounding real. I

4:13

talk to a lot of these politicians behind the scenes. I

4:16

hear how they speak when the mic's not on, and

4:18

it's two totally different people. Take Hillary

4:20

Clinton. During the 2016 campaign,

4:22

she sounded like this. Now, there

4:25

may be some new voices

4:28

in the presidential Republican

4:30

choir, but they're

4:33

all singing the same old

4:35

song, a

4:37

song called Yesterday. You

4:41

know the one. All

4:43

our troubles look as though they're

4:45

here to stay. And

4:48

we need a place to hide

4:50

away. They

4:52

believed in yesterday. Yeah.

4:58

Paul McCartney heard that and was like, John

5:00

got the easy way out. Here's

5:07

the thing, though. I've talked to Hillary

5:09

behind the scenes, and trust me, she's a

5:11

real human. I know you won't believe this,

5:13

but she can even say a great motherf***er.

5:16

Yes, I've heard it. The

5:18

way she says motherf***er rivals Samuel L.

5:21

Jackson. I'm telling

5:23

you, she should have

5:25

used it in public, like, I'm sick and

5:27

tired of my motherf***ing husband on Jeffrey Epstein's

5:29

motherf***ing plane. Yes, yes,

5:32

yes, yes, yes. Now,

5:36

that Hillary, that Hillary would be at the end of

5:38

her second term right now. But

5:41

Democrats only talk authentically when it slips

5:43

out. In fact, Dems had a viral

5:45

moment in the House recently. It started

5:47

with Marjorie Taylor Greene doing what she

5:50

does best, but it ended with a

5:52

Democrat. Representative Jasmine Crockett finally clapping back.

8:00

if we ought to have a vice president named Dick

8:02

for eight years? I

8:05

mean, this was Trump last week in a church with kids

8:07

in the audience. I don't like

8:09

using the word bullshit in front of these beautiful

8:11

children. So

8:13

I won't say it. My

8:19

God, Donald, do you kiss your mistress with that mouth? Look,

8:24

I know this is, you know, all a

8:26

little off-brand for liberals. They love to say

8:28

stuff like, hate has no home here. But

8:30

you could at least give hate a guest

8:32

room or something. All right? Let

8:35

hate keep a toothbrush in your bathroom. And

8:38

no, you should never hate someone for who

8:41

they are. But it's OK to hate them

8:43

for what they do, especially if what they

8:45

do is hateful. OK? Like it

8:47

or not, this is the age of hate. Kendrick

8:49

said he hates Drake. OK? Yeah.

8:53

Kendrick said he hates the way Drake walks,

8:55

the way he talks, the way he dresses.

8:57

And Kendrick won that beef. And if Democrats were

9:00

to win, they need to turn on the Kendrick.

9:02

All right? Yes. Yes. Yes.

9:06

Turn on the Kendrick. Trump

9:09

got a weird case. Why is he around? Wop,

9:11

wop, wop, wop, wop. Them's

9:13

fucked up. OK? And

9:15

good news for Democrats. They have someone

9:17

who can help them with their messaging.

9:19

When I heard Republican Congressman Byron Donald

9:21

say some wild shit about black families

9:23

in Jim Crow, I knew just who

9:25

to call. Congresswoman Jasmine Crockett,

9:27

how are you? I'm doing

9:30

well. It's good to see you. Good

9:32

to see you too. Now, a colleague

9:34

from across the aisle, Byron Donald, recently

9:36

said that black families were better under

9:38

Jim Crow, which was a period of

9:41

forced racial segregation. What would you say

9:43

to that? Yes, I'd

9:45

say, is it OK for Uncle

9:47

Tom, Uncle Ruckus, or maybe under

9:49

this scenario, an Uncle Clarence to

9:51

try to tell us what it is to

9:53

be black in America, considering the fact that

9:56

he is married to a white woman kind

9:58

of like his Uncle Clarence. He

16:00

finally made space travel seem

16:02

uncool. I also want to

16:05

thank every Amazon

16:07

employee and every Amazon customer

16:09

because you guys paid for

16:11

all this. And now

16:13

the world knows the real Jeff

16:15

Bezos, as well as Jeff

16:17

Bezos knows himself. I always

16:19

worked really hard. I was nerdy. You

16:22

were nerdy. I was nerdy. That

16:25

hasn't changed by the way. Explore

16:30

more shows from the Daily Show Podcast

16:32

universe by searching The Daily Show, wherever

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you, get your podcasts. Watch

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the daily show weeknights at 11, 10

16:39

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16:53

I'm John Lovett, host of Love It or Leave

16:55

It. Every week I'm joined live on stage by

16:57

incredible guests to break down the biggest and dumbest

16:59

stories in politics and pop culture. And now because

17:01

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17:07

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