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You're listening to Comedy Central. Ah,

1:28

summer. When my balls glue

1:30

themselves to my thigh and don't

1:32

let go until Labor Day. And

1:36

if you're a kid, it means going to

1:38

camp. Summer camp used

1:40

to be about playing sports, making friends

1:43

and if you're lucky, finding

1:45

a dead body. But

1:47

for parents who think it's time for their

1:49

five-year-old to start focusing on a career, there

1:51

are a few camps just

1:54

for them, like this one. Louisiana

2:00

at the end of July. Kids will learn skills

2:02

such as taking guest orders and bagging food. The

2:04

franchises that are doing it only charge about $35,

2:07

ages 5 to 12, and kids learn the

2:11

chicken sandwich business. Wow!

2:16

Did you hear that? Chick-fil-A

2:18

as a summer camp! Kill

2:21

me now! Kids

2:24

are finally getting to learn

2:26

the chicken sandwich business. You

2:28

know, nothing says summer fun

2:30

like third degree grease burns.

2:34

And the best part about Chick-fil-A camp

2:36

is it only costs $35. What a

2:38

bargain! I mean, for $35 you can't

2:40

even find a babysitter on

2:45

the terror watch list. Even

2:48

Khalid Sheikh Mohammed was $40

2:50

an hour and he

2:53

didn't even change diapers. But

2:56

if that's still too steep a

2:58

price tag, you can always bring

3:00

them for free to the company

3:02

who's basically raising them anyway, Apple.

3:06

For over 20 years now, Apple

3:08

stores have hosted Apple Camp. This

3:10

is where kids and their parents

3:12

can get creative on the latest

3:14

Apple devices. This year's session focuses

3:16

on using the iPad to create

3:18

an interactive storybook. They're creating animations,

3:20

they're adding AR shapes, 3D shapes,

3:22

taking AR photos where they place

3:24

the 3D shapes in the world

3:26

around them. Oh, thank

3:29

God! Just what our

3:31

children need. More screen time!

3:34

I hope they'll use these

3:36

iPads on planes at full

3:39

volume while I contemplate getting

3:41

a second vasectomy. Better

3:44

safe than sorry. I

3:47

will say these Apple Camps seem

3:50

way nicer than the ones in

3:52

China. I mean, for starters, the

3:54

kids get to leave. Oh

3:57

stop it! Seriously,

4:01

wake up! How

4:03

do you moan over that? Unbelievable.

4:06

But maybe I'm judging too

4:09

quickly. Who knows, these cams

4:11

could be fostering the storytellers

4:13

of tomorrow. It's basically a

4:15

donut that plays baseball, but the ball always

4:17

goes through his hole. So this

4:19

friend helps him put like a net in

4:22

his, uh, in the hole part, so

4:24

the ball doesn't go through. This

4:28

girl could write the next

4:30

great animated film, but

4:32

if you dare touch the opening

4:34

weekend of Inside Out 3, I'll

4:37

sue the shit out of you. Follow

4:41

your dreams, but stay away

4:43

from Daddy's gravy train. But

4:46

if the Fri-O-Lator and ADHD

4:48

don't do it for your

4:51

child, there are some cams

4:53

that teach actual skills. The

4:55

Wichita Fire Department gave young people the opportunity

4:57

to experience what it's like to be a

5:00

firefighter. It's hosting a kids' summer

5:02

camp, and the fun kicked off yesterday. This

5:05

year's summer camp introduces them to the

5:07

roles and responsibilities of the fire department

5:09

with up close and hands-on experience. Campers

5:12

ages 8 to 13 will get

5:15

a view of firefighting tasks like

5:17

pulling hose, spraying water, forcible entry,

5:19

and rescue. First

5:22

of all, I don't think you

5:25

need a camp to teach teen boys how

5:27

to pull hose. I

5:29

mean, they tend to figure it out on their

5:31

own. By

5:36

the way, firefighter

5:38

camp is just like police camp, but

5:41

with more cardio and less framing people

5:43

for murder. I

5:45

admire these kids, but they better

5:47

not show up when I burn

5:49

down my Panama City condo for

5:51

the insurance money. Stay

5:54

away from Daddy's other gravy

5:56

train, you little life-saving shits.

15:34

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15:37

Podcast universe by searching The Daily Show,

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