0:00

Hello the Internet, and welcome to this

0:02

episode of three point one

0:04

four one five's I Eat

0:08

a K Pie Day

0:10

t G I P thank god

0:12

it's pie day. Um that

0:15

uh three point one four

0:17

one five to night pie Day a K A

0:20

is courtesy of who else?

0:22

Johnny Davis? I am

0:24

jack Uh? That over there,

0:27

well, that smild over there, that bawled

0:30

up mess in the corner. Well,

0:33

now you're talking about my friend mats uh

0:36

and these well, these are

0:38

some things that are trending. There's

0:40

been an ongoing conversation about

0:44

whether it's bad for him to charge

0:46

your guests after a dinner party.

0:49

This, you know, one of my favorite tweets

0:51

from last week. Yeah, Amber Nelson

0:53

uh tweeted got invited to someone's

0:55

place for dinner and they charged

0:58

me for it. This is weird, right it?

1:00

Um? And that's that developed

1:03

a little bit more. Huh. I didn't even look through

1:05

the thread to understand what the dimensions were

1:07

of this tweet, and I was just like, that's that's bad

1:09

form. You don't invite people over in the charge. The people

1:11

were like what who what?

1:14

What did they? What did you eat? Right? Like?

1:17

What was right? Exactly? Like beef?

1:20

They were they were saying that it was homemade

1:22

pasta. They ate a couple of plates of Penny

1:24

a La vodka and the

1:26

host ven mode them for twenty Yeah

1:31

for homemade Penny Alla vodka. Yeah,

1:34

you can make that ship if you went, if I went

1:36

to the grocery store right now, I could cook,

1:39

I could do like at least seven

1:41

people's worth for that amount of money. Yeah,

1:43

but if you go to the restaurant and

1:45

get two helpings of it, unless

1:49

you're talking, unless you're talking for Zoli's

1:52

or and do you know that

1:55

was that was the fast food chaining. Italian

1:57

food was like four in enough that they

2:00

like a fast food like a McDonald's. For Italian

2:02

food, you get like a styrofoam

2:04

thing a spaghetti and so the big ZiT was

2:06

good. Wait, hold on, how would they serve

2:09

it up to you like a you know, like serving

2:11

box isn't ship? Did they have their

2:14

own like what you get Chipotle food and you

2:16

know, well you get a Chipotle bowling that's what it's

2:18

drive through For Zolies, I think they

2:20

had drive through, which is like kind of like a

2:23

Samarrow kind of fast Italian type

2:25

ship. I'd say that was dangerous except

2:27

down south. They also have drive through liquor

2:29

stores, so right, right, so

2:32

who's really the snow plinking? Right? Um?

2:37

But anyways, that's it's.

2:40

Yeah, it's not a good price for

2:42

a dinner party, it's not a bad price

2:45

for a restaurant.

2:47

So it's like they shot in between.

2:50

But that what is that? But you

2:52

can understand right when a restaurant charges

2:55

you the money, like what all that,

2:58

it's not just beyond Hey, drying new adles

3:00

at the store only cost this much plus

3:02

a little sauce. I mean, we're looking at eight bucks

3:04

max here. But you get that. There's they got

3:06

to pay the staff, they got overhead

3:09

costs, they got like the prestige of it being

3:11

a restaurant that factor in to the pricing. I don't understand

3:13

was this person like a Michelin starred chef and then

3:15

therefore they felt that because that bills just wacky?

3:18

Yeah I did. I did not dig into

3:20

what what the bona

3:23

fides of the chef of the

3:25

host was. I I think

3:27

it's definitely rude.

3:30

Yeah, no, it's not. It's not. Okay,

3:33

you can't do that. On the other hand,

3:37

well, were you to start

3:39

a trend where it was like after

3:41

dinner party. Everybody gets charged based

3:44

on what they brought to the

3:46

dinner party in terms of like, well you had you

3:48

had that great anecdote about that time you

3:50

met Ted Danson and

3:52

he was he was really drunk. So i'm gonna

3:55

I'm gonna give you five dollars off.

3:57

I'm gonna charge you dollars

4:00

you brought just yourself. So

4:02

you you're twenty and you were

4:04

an energy vampire, so we're

4:07

going to charge you forty dollars because everybody

4:10

left just fucking exhausted from

4:13

you giving them like five different

4:16

Wikipedia pages, uh

4:19

and dry background information

4:21

on random topics that crop up. Yeah,

4:23

and right after Larry talked about his good news

4:25

at his job, you just started exasperatingly

4:28

like exhaling, trying to get everyone's attention,

4:30

just like uh uh,

4:36

and no one no one was biting because they know

4:38

you're just gonna do something self serving. And

4:40

then finally when they bit, you

4:43

then just brought the whole energy down. Well,

4:45

if you got to know nobody,

4:47

but nobody bit you just said, well,

4:50

if you got to know nobody even asked

4:52

you, that's that's actually you know what hit me with

4:54

fifty for that I'm gonna be distributing

4:56

that. I'm actually gonna offset the cost of

4:58

the other people with that energy.

5:00

Vampire movie pulled back there. But I

5:03

mean, the only time you can do it right is like you

5:06

either have a pot luck where like yo, let's

5:08

have a thing, but like you know this

5:10

is I used to do this all the time when I have money, you say, oh,

5:12

let's let's do something. But like I can make one

5:14

thing, and like if everybody brings something that we have like a

5:16

little thing, I don't. I'm not kicked up enough

5:18

to go buy all the food for like all these people

5:20

here, or people bring

5:23

alcohol or other dessert or whatever

5:26

you have to you have to be up front. The only

5:28

time I've done it was like, hey, should we all go in

5:30

on like a big piece

5:32

of meat or something to roast? And also

5:34

like I don't have the money to buy it up front, hit me with

5:36

it so I can go to the store and get it ahead

5:39

of time. Sure, yeah, ahead of time. Or

5:41

the other thing that I've done where I split

5:44

is if like you're at

5:46

someone's house and then you're like,

5:48

you guys want to stay for dinner, Like maybe we could order

5:50

from this place and then everybody like

5:53

is making the decision together, and then it's

5:55

like a group decision and then exactly

5:57

and then even in those moments, you'll have the friends say hey, you

5:59

know what, like I'm not really eating out right now, I'm just trying

6:01

to save some money, and you go, Okay, that's cool, that's cool. It's cool.

6:03

There's like look, I got you, I got you, I got you, unless

6:06

you're trying to pull a scamp. I mean, yeah, you know, oh

6:08

man, I just make that leave my

6:13

sight. Anyways,

6:16

let us know, uh, if you if you

6:18

haven't already you know way in

6:21

yeah, I mean if I want more stories, I

6:23

want more stories of people getting charged. I

6:25

know, like petty yo, I'm not uh, I

6:28

don't know if I should say this. I don't think they listen

6:30

anyway. I know somebody who

6:33

like they're so on top

6:35

of like little charges. They'll venmouth

6:37

ship that's like really specific amounts.

6:40

They're like it's two thirty eight two

6:42

dollars and thirty eight cents because

6:44

I split this one thing and I noticed

6:47

you had that. I've been hit with some very

6:50

specific Venmo charge before, but

6:52

like ones where it was like so it

6:55

was such a small amount that. It was just more

6:57

confusing. It didn't feel like, oh, so now I'm

6:59

paying for your ship. It was more like, oh

7:01

okay, I figured we were

7:03

all kind of splitting this thing. But

7:07

hey, the specificity,

7:09

it's how stories get away with doing that, you know,

7:13

not ten dollars. We figured out it was just because

7:17

we know exactly how much this costs.

7:20

Um, yeah, it sounds like a scamp from

7:22

eight dollars. Well here's some good news.

7:24

Tom Brady is not really retiring.

7:27

H he's back. We're

7:29

all so happy,

7:32

Um that we spent our time and

7:34

attention talking about how he was great

7:36

and the greatest and um,

7:39

yeah, it's funny, man. You like

7:42

it that they experience

7:44

that that life of you

7:47

know, people looking at them

7:49

with a little less interest than before,

7:52

still a level of interest

7:54

that uh, I have never

7:56

experienced and couldn't couldn't imagine

7:59

where people are just like, holy sh it, he's

8:01

not even retired fucking six months.

8:03

That was he wasn't retired like three

8:05

months. I think. I know. I'm trying to give him some

8:08

sound, make it sounds something decent, but look,

8:10

it happens to everybody. J Michael

8:12

Jordan's you know, you think just when

8:14

you think you got out, Yeah, Ego

8:17

pulls here right back. Um,

8:20

so here we go. He's

8:22

back. The people of Tampa Bay are psyched.

8:25

Um, and I'll see where we go.

8:27

England fans, who he somehow erased

8:29

from his career, Yeah, what

8:32

they do for him. I don't know why. I like, that's like the

8:34

one thing I remember because I don't even give a funk about the NFL

8:36

like that. But I was like, damn, he didn't say anything about the bags.

8:39

Fu Okay, salt Elen

8:42

is trending the

8:44

musque man. He's got a he's got a solution

8:48

to everything, and he inserted

8:50

himself into the middle. Yeah, may

8:53

make himself the star of any

8:56

um global important storyline

8:58

that he possibly can. Uh. And

9:00

this is his stupidest attempt

9:02

yet. This is coming off a week he

9:04

tweeted something of it, like jokingly about how like Netflix

9:07

is making some like woke movie about like a black

9:09

Ukrainian soldier who falls in love with

9:12

like a trans Russian soldier.

9:14

It was like like, oh, he's

9:16

on his ship posting nonsense again and

9:18

then even posted like another just

9:21

he's he's just posting, just ship posting.

9:23

You know. I don't know what. Maybe he heard that Grimes

9:27

is now with Chelsea Manning and that kind of set some ship

9:29

off for him this weekend. I don't know, um,

9:31

but he tweeted in Russians

9:34

saying, I hear by challenge of Vladimir Putin

9:36

to single combat. Uh.

9:39

And then he added with the

9:41

stakes being Ukraine, and

9:43

then he said do you agree to this fight? Hmm?

9:47

I wonder if Ukraine agrees with this fight. I

9:49

think they would not agree. Yeah, they

9:51

were like, no, man, have you seen his judo skills?

9:55

You don't want it, you don't want anything to do with him. But

9:57

yeah, I don't know, it's

9:59

just more it posting. And then like some person

10:02

from like the Russian Space Agency

10:04

you like, replied with some like maxim

10:07

about like you are too still too small,

10:09

in a waste of my time, defeat

10:12

my brother and then I will consider it type ship.

10:14

And then m Ellen,

10:17

just really, if you needed more proof

10:19

like that this guy sucks and

10:22

doesn't know shit about anything, I

10:24

don't know. I don't know what else to say. Yeah,

10:26

I'm just trying to get to the headspace where

10:29

this seemed like a good idea other than like if

10:31

it's a bit is the joke

10:33

that he's a rich asshole

10:35

who's completely out of touch with the world, or

10:38

I don't know, it's it's very tony stark ish,

10:41

you know. It's like, hey, thing causing

10:44

the world strife. Why don't you fight me?

10:50

Has a history of fighting things and

10:52

defeating them. Oh, I

10:54

can break the will of child laborers who worked

10:56

in my parents di emerald minds. So

11:00

how does he think we view him?

11:02

Is kind of the question that this is

11:05

the first guy I would pick out to

11:07

be to do like a fight to make me look good.

11:10

Right, Yeah, he's I'm

11:12

guessing he has some like

11:15

living boxing trainer who lives

11:17

like in his guesthouse and has

11:21

been telling him that he has like a killer left hook.

11:23

Something calls him champ all the time when they're like he's

11:25

like on speedbags or he's hitting the pads

11:28

like oh ship, look at that combo now okay,

11:31

and that's where that's where you knocked me out right there?

11:33

Right? That was it? Cinder

11:36

block job. I'm going down if I take that one. It

11:38

doesn't matter, it doesn't matter who you hit. Could

11:41

be gladmore really say

11:43

that last party again, Hey brother, I'm not gonna lie to you.

11:46

I've never seen some ship like this. And then that guy goes,

11:48

he goes, you should see this ship. Man, I just get

11:50

I get real black with him, tell him how he's a championship.

11:53

He starts paying me more. It's fucked up.

11:55

But look, all my

11:57

kids college is paid for and they're only five years old.

12:00

So yeah, what's alright? Alright? Tip?

12:02

Alright, Tip? I

12:04

feel like that's what he's been fucking by

12:08

his boxing coach. Somebody,

12:10

somebody in his life needs to like

12:13

have a talk with him, and they're not going to.

12:15

But like that is that that is a

12:18

piece of advice that is

12:20

probably ten years old. Or

12:22

this could be another weird fucking moment.

12:25

Like I said, Kanye couldn't stand

12:27

the side of Pete Davidson with his the

12:29

mother of his children, and maybe this

12:31

Chelsea Manning news from the weekend really

12:33

completely blew his mind. Right, Yeah

12:36

you heard about that, right, did you? Did you keep

12:39

up with that part of the internet. I did not, but I

12:41

didn't hear about it because I saw that it was on

12:44

trending. Yeah yeah, yeah,

12:46

And so that's that's why we were just trying

12:48

to figure out what who what

12:51

do they what is it? I'm

12:55

I'm more curious about like who's gonna

12:57

pull who in which direction? Like this Chelsea Manning

12:59

pull Grhymes is certain way because Grimes pulled Chelsea

13:01

man in a certain way anyway. But

13:03

if you want to save Ukraine with his fists,

13:09

that it's very funny.

13:11

What does he do? Right? If vlad R Putin says

13:13

okay, bet uh meet

13:16

me and Minsk and then like yeah,

13:19

like you people from Ukraine

13:21

would have to like like block

13:23

him with their body, like

13:26

like we don't want that ship man, You're not what?

13:29

Yeah? Putin's like tagging at Zelensky you

13:31

ay on Twitter, being like you've seen this? Are

13:34

you good with this? Because

13:36

I will. I will dope like a madman

13:39

before he

13:41

did. Put is so doped up

13:43

and just like he's like yo, his

13:46

he I think he cut like forty pounds

13:48

of like water weight's all. You've seen all

13:50

his veins. He's like you can see

13:52

his heart beating in his fucking thighs.

13:55

I don't know. He comes through looking like that general

13:57

with the scar on his face from Avatar and that

14:00

like Giant mix. That

14:02

was, by the way, the first Avatar

14:04

reference in the history of pop culture. Nobody

14:07

remembers that movie, but uh yeah,

14:10

I think we was the moment there we go all

14:12

right, let's take a quick break, we'll be right back,

14:24

and we're back, and

14:27

uh Jenny Thomas, Clarence Thomas's

14:29

wife is in the news.

14:32

So she was doing a like this

14:35

like puff piece with this conservative paper

14:37

that forgets, like the Washington Observer or one of those

14:39

like belt wave papers, and it was like

14:41

this like very you know, meant to be

14:44

like sympathetic and be like she's a really stand

14:46

up lady. And then in part with you the interview, she

14:48

admits that she was at the stop the Steel rally

14:50

on January six, like before everyone's

14:52

like, you know, Jenny Thomas, Clarence

14:55

Thomas's wife has her hands over a lot of

14:57

the planning of the January six rally,

14:59

and people are like, this is fucking ridiculous.

15:01

This is this. This is a sitting Supreme Court

15:03

justices wife partner who

15:06

was on the other side of it, like invested

15:08

in like diet insurrections,

15:11

um and in it saying like, yeah, I

15:13

was there, but I left before got violent,

15:15

left before got I got cold. That's what

15:17

she said. She said she got cold, She got cold, and

15:19

then she left. She got cold feet, I

15:22

think when she didn't realize

15:24

she wasn't built to assault police officer

15:26

something right, But she can't admit that she

15:28

left because it was getting violent and she got

15:30

scared, because admit that what

15:33

was happening was actually bad. Um,

15:35

so she has to say she left

15:38

before because she got

15:40

cold. Yeah,

15:42

yeah, I mean it's just is

15:45

there a version of the

15:47

future where people try and impeach Clarence

15:50

Thomas over I think a lot of

15:52

people are like asking, how

15:54

do you how do you sit with

15:56

this? Like this person isn't, like, you

15:58

know, a far right activist,

16:02

and then they talk about like you

16:04

know, there are interviews like they're very similar to the

16:06

two of them, and you're

16:08

like, hold on, well, if this person is out here

16:10

putting their time and energy into this

16:12

ship, going against you know, the Constitution

16:15

or whatever sacred thing you want to

16:17

say it is, how is this person meant

16:19

to uphold the laws or interpret them

16:21

in a way that isn't different from that? And I think to that she

16:24

was like, we're in different lanes. Well,

16:27

yeah, because you're not a Supreme Court justice,

16:29

but you can be in different lanes and still be having

16:32

similar goals that you're moving towards. So

16:36

jenn A, Uh, that

16:38

was a forest reference

16:41

with Avatar and a Forrest

16:44

Gump preference. Let's go, let's

16:46

go it with a cutthroat

16:48

island one and we hit it. Let's

16:53

go a phrase that I've never heard before

16:56

because I'm from the year two

16:58

thousand and when did Avatar about two thousand

17:00

nine? Uh? Whopper Mount is

17:03

trending. Uh yeah,

17:05

so Burger King. They're

17:08

honing the focus

17:10

of the of their marketing department to just

17:12

the Whopper, the one thing that like people are like,

17:14

yeah, I guess that's the thing we know you for. They're

17:17

they're no longer trying to introduce all this new

17:19

ship and they've released something

17:22

called the Whopper Mount, which is

17:25

to Whopper junior patties stacked

17:28

on what amounts to

17:30

what the reviewer whose

17:32

review I read uh described

17:34

as Texas toast, you know white.

17:37

A lot of people think amount

17:39

comes on rye I

17:41

think is the normal bread of choice.

17:44

But yeah, yeah,

17:46

but that's a little too non

17:49

sort of mid mid

17:52

it's not Western, Yeah, it's

17:54

not. People are gonna be like what the funds

17:57

tastes like seeds, and

17:59

I get it. I was like that with Vibert too. I hated

18:02

the fucking fennel season until like my palate

18:04

evolved. I'm like, oh no, it all, it all works

18:06

together. The sandwich also features

18:08

melted American cheese, caramelized onions,

18:11

uh Stacker sauce, which

18:13

is just you know, Thousand Island

18:15

dressed. Hey man, he doesn't catchup mixed up. We

18:17

get um, but they

18:21

are the takeout is giving

18:23

this a flat a straight

18:26

up they said,

18:28

they said it's very good. Um

18:31

yeah, Like I

18:34

don't know, man, it sounds

18:36

good to me, first of all, because it reduces

18:40

like the one thing that was good about the whopper

18:42

is generally the patty, right, like the

18:44

kind of charboiled taste of the patty

18:47

that they concoct via a

18:50

galaxy of chemicals. I'm sure. But

18:52

and then you know, just

18:54

give me any burger patty with American cheese. I'm

18:57

I'm generally pretty pretty happy on

18:59

a on a nice piece of stone

19:02

at the takeout. Okay, I pick your

19:04

brain, lilian Um.

19:07

So anyways, just putting it

19:09

on your radar in case you're trying to find

19:12

the next fast food concoction

19:14

to slowly kill yourself with trying

19:16

to know your coworkers with NonStop parting. Uh.

19:20

And finally Rand Paul is trending.

19:23

Um, well, I

19:25

don't know, man, was so petty

19:27

this guy. First of all, Rand Paul is a doctor,

19:29

but he's like, I think an eye doctor who's like I

19:32

think he's been like sued anyway,

19:34

Rand Paul thinks fancies himself a doctor.

19:37

Sure. Uh. And he's also you

19:40

know, he's one of these conservatives who has made

19:42

like hating doctor Faucci like

19:44

his whole fucking personality and identity

19:46

and brand because it makes sense, like

19:48

for a while it was easy points to be like and

19:51

Faucci wants to blah blah blah,

19:53

like, no, it's not the whatever. We can

19:55

we can argue why they're wrong all day. But

19:57

he has introduced an amendment that

20:00

essentially he's trying to reorganize the National

20:02

Institute of Allergy, Infectious and Infectious

20:05

Diseases so to essentially

20:07

like eliminate Dr Fauci's

20:09

position as the director of it. So

20:13

petty Bill straight for his neck and being

20:15

like and with this bill that won't pass, you

20:17

won't even be a thing anymore. M M.

20:21

Because that's that will stop all belief

20:23

in science. It's just Fauci

20:26

is no longer at the nationalist whatever I

20:28

mean, the Faucci hate has grown.

20:31

You know, he put his body in front of

20:34

in a position that was going to

20:37

get a lot of hate. And I hear it from a

20:39

lot of people now that I

20:41

would not have expected to hear from, like people

20:43

who are an anti actress, who are like this guy. His

20:45

messaging was all fucked up, and it's like, well,

20:48

you know, are you like three sentences

20:51

away from using a racialistler or something?

20:56

Right? Oh? Easy, easy, easy. But

20:58

it's uh, this this just

21:00

feels like the laziest possible political

21:04

position to take. Again,

21:06

it underscores the fact

21:09

that conservatives have no real

21:11

political agenda aside from turning

21:13

the clock back to like eighteen sixty

21:16

three white supremacy authoritarianism

21:19

and what and when white supremacy

21:22

was King Man? Why can't we bring back King Cotton?

21:25

Like that's what they're like. I would like

21:27

to actually rest reorganize our government

21:29

to a monarchy where we all lay

21:32

at the feet of King Cotton like our ancestors

21:34

did. But it's just there's

21:37

no there's no worldview aside from

21:39

just tear down whatever like progress

21:41

has been made. So in this case, he's

21:43

just being like, what if there was no doctor Fauci?

21:46

Okay, what yeah?

21:48

Not what if we were able to have better

21:50

pandemic response or research?

21:53

But again, that's too progressive, and that requires

21:55

like putting things into like knowledge or

21:58

having like sympathy for

22:00

people who can't work and getting behind like

22:02

stimulus checks to keep people financially

22:04

afloat when we're asking people to not

22:07

work when there's a pandemic like that. Those

22:09

are solutions, but I don't think there's a way for them to

22:12

do that without them like self

22:14

owning, like their whole platform, which is to absolutely

22:16

not help anybody. And

22:19

even then it's like I know you're struggling, and

22:21

I know, and when you know they're at these

22:23

rallies, they could be saying, I know you're struggling, I know

22:25

times are hard, and it's never that's

22:27

why I'm trying to get you all some more money to make it easier.

22:30

It's just pivot too, and that's why we gotta get

22:32

fucking Foucy out right here. There.

22:35

It is Boom can't do.

22:37

You can't actually solve someone you couldn't just look

22:39

at a group of people even that they I bet

22:41

you even if you said, hey, man, would some more money

22:44

be good, they'd be like fuck, yeah yeah.

22:46

If it was a binary between probably

22:49

more checks or FOUCHI out.

22:51

I think people would ask for the financial support.

22:53

But it depends on if there's a camera

22:55

on them. There's a camera on them, they'd be like, I don't need

22:57

want to be burned this check, just that

23:00

m Dr Fauci's yeah, yeah,

23:02

all right. Well those are six

23:04

things that are trending on this Monday,

23:08

Pye Day of March. Um.

23:10

We are back tomorrow with the whole last episode

23:13

of the show. Until then, be kind to each

23:15

other, be kind to yourselves, get the vaccine,

23:18

don't do nothing about white supremacy, and

23:20

we will talk to you all tomorrow. Bye bye,