0:00

What does your paradise look like? I bet it

0:02

looks a lot like your hell. Absurd

0:04

Ventures presents the original audio fiction

0:06

series, A Better Paradise. Enter the

0:09

new world created and written by

0:11

the storytellers behind the Red Dead

0:13

Redemption and Grand Theft Auto series.

0:16

We unlocked hell from our tie bird. We're

0:18

gonna do something incredible here. My

0:20

father. My father and the awful thing he made.

0:23

It was demented. It was amazing. The

0:25

whole thing terrifies them. I

0:27

haven't seen whatever is watching me. I swear

0:29

I sense it. It's watching me. No

0:32

matter how far I run, I will

0:34

see it again. It's everywhere. I

0:39

have acquired enlightenment.

0:42

Nah, I'm not. I have seen everything

0:44

and I have realized I like vanity.

0:46

For a digital illusion, I'm actually petty

0:48

and proud and pompous and riddled with

0:50

a myriad of...insecurities. Hi,

0:53

this is Andrew Lincoln. Follow a

0:55

better paradise on Apple Podcasts, Spotify

0:57

or wherever you get your podcasts.

0:59

What does your paradise look like?

1:02

I bet it looks a lot like your hell. Absurd

1:04

Ventures presents the original audio fiction

1:06

series, A Better Paradise. Enter the

1:08

new world created and written by

1:10

the storytellers behind the Red Dead

1:12

Redemption and Grand Theft Auto series.

1:15

We unlocked hell from Mark Tyburn.

1:17

We're gonna do something incredible here.

1:20

My father. My father and the awful thing

1:22

he made. It was demented. It

1:24

was amazing. The whole thing terrifies

1:26

them. I haven't seen whatever is

1:28

watching me. I swear I sense it. And

1:30

it's not a data miner or a pattern

1:32

hunter either. It's watching me. No matter

1:35

how far I run, I will see

1:37

it again. It's everywhere. I know you're

1:39

trying to run away from me. They

1:41

are bait and the bait gets eaten.

1:45

I like to remember how I used to

1:47

think. I was two days old and I

1:49

like to play games. But something

1:51

is playing a game with

1:53

me. Follow a

1:55

better paradise on Apple Podcasts, Spotify

1:57

or wherever you get your podcasts.

2:00

Hey everybody, welcome to the dungeon cast. I'm

2:02

Brian and I'm William. This is the podcast

2:04

where we talk about everything tabletop role-playing games

2:06

And today we are talking about two monsters

2:08

the magmin and the lava children Hey,

2:20

hey Brian, hey, well, how

2:22

you doing? I'm good. How are my how

2:24

are my hot babies? They they're Living

2:27

in hot boiling magma boiling hot

2:29

magma Why

2:33

is gold member Well

2:37

the recently not even like that's true

2:39

it's the year of the elemental it's

2:41

very powerful. Yeah liquid hot magma So

2:44

we have not done an episode on the

2:46

parallel mental plane of magma yet But

2:49

today is a sneak peek into what sort of

2:51

creatures we may find roaming the fountains of creation

2:54

So we are covering two monsters

2:57

today the childlike magmin or mag

2:59

men as they are sometimes

3:01

called and the oddly quite manly lava

3:03

children That's right.

3:06

That's right. D&D can be a weird game

3:08

and today we're talking about some weird guys

3:10

So it's a heavily masculine up episode. I

3:12

guess it really is Despite

3:14

their names though magma and lava children are in

3:17

no way related except for the fact that they

3:19

are both related to magma And well on the

3:21

plane of magma Are there any

3:23

questions before we simply dive in I would like

3:25

to dive into the lava Let's dive right into

3:27

the this is one of the times I can

3:29

actually do it and not fucking die So

3:32

yeah, let's do it. So let us

3:34

begin with the magmin Standing

3:37

between three to four feet 0.9

3:40

to 1.2 meters tall and

3:42

the grinning and mischievous magmin

3:44

resembles a stumpy Humanoid sculpted

3:46

from a black shell of

3:48

magma underneath their shell They

3:50

seem composed of flowing lava and seething

3:53

flame Even when not fully

3:55

ablaze and radiate a heat like a bonfire

3:57

small jets of flame erupt from their porous

3:59

skin that

1:02:00

we think are worthy and well-onized

1:02:02

eyes. So if you guys can,

1:02:05

there's a link below where you can donate to the

1:02:07

PCRF. That's the Palestine Children's

1:02:10

Relief Fund. They

1:02:12

provide free medical care to thousands of injured

1:02:14

and ill children yearly who

1:02:16

lack local access to care within the local

1:02:19

healthcare system. We'd really appreciate it if you

1:02:21

could consider going to donate to that. And

1:02:25

then other than that, I think we have

1:02:27

nothing else to give. We're done.

1:02:29

I think that's it. I think we'll call it a game. Let's

1:02:31

call it a game. We'll talk to you guys later. Bye. ["The

1:02:34

Dungeon Cast." plays in the background.]

1:02:48

Did you know that Billy Crystal didn't want to

1:02:50

do the, like, dub, like, overspeak?

1:02:53

So he just fucking says whatever. He doesn't try

1:02:55

to, like, match his voice to the lips of

1:02:57

Calcifer. Oh, he did? Really? He just is making

1:02:59

it up? Yeah, I was talking to Marcos about

1:03:01

it. That's what he said, yeah. That's

1:03:04

funny, too, because I do love Calcifer, but

1:03:06

that makes me wonder, makes me

1:03:08

want to go rewatch it sub to see what,

1:03:10

like, the actual written personality of Calcifer is supposed

1:03:12

to be. Yeah, oh, no, no, no, like, I

1:03:16

think it's just the sync up. You know

1:03:18

how they have to, like, change the... Yeah,

1:03:20

the lip flaps. Yeah, so maybe, like, yeah,

1:03:22

it would be interesting to go look at

1:03:24

it side by side. Well,

1:03:27

you know, it kind of works. Sorry that

1:03:29

we're still on this, but it works better

1:03:31

for Calcifer because he's so inhuman. Yeah, it

1:03:33

doesn't care. I

1:03:35

never even noticed. Honestly. Yeah. And

1:03:56

we must be ready. So let's give it

1:03:58

a go. For a great evil is coming.

1:04:00

It's hard, but it's gallantly and death follows

1:04:03

with it. Listen

1:04:06

and subscribe to the latest season of

1:04:08

Undertow, The Harrowing, a story glass production

1:04:10

presented by Realm, available wherever you get

1:04:12

your podcasts. Greetings,

1:04:15

adventurers. Today we're excited to introduce

1:04:17

you to a new story, Dark Dice,

1:04:19

a horror podcast that blares

1:04:21

the line between actual play and audio drama,

1:04:23

where the story is determined by the role

1:04:25

of the dice. Six

1:04:27

adventurers embark on a journey into the ruinous domain

1:04:29

of the Nameless God. They will

1:04:32

never be the same again. One of

1:04:34

the players is now what they seem after a

1:04:36

doppelganger, a creature that can assume the form and

1:04:38

voice of whatever it kills infiltrates the team. As

1:04:41

the players are picked off and replaced one at a time, can

1:04:43

they figure out who the monster is before it's too late? Can

1:04:46

you? Here's a quick example

1:04:48

of what our show sounds like. The shambler

1:04:50

with the jar of liquid inside of him.

1:04:52

Sorn Arcwright let loose an arrow that cracked

1:04:55

the glass, passing through the spine of the

1:04:57

creature. The shambler still managed to maintain its

1:04:59

forward momentum, but stumbled as it eagerly tried

1:05:01

to bite and swipe its sword and land

1:05:03

in near his feet. As

1:05:05

Jeff Goldblum has now joined our cast, Dark

1:05:08

Dice is available however you listen to podcasts.