8:00

I don't think she can be a white lady, though. Did you

8:02

know that now that would be offensive. Now we should look at

8:04

it. No, no. Here she is. She's black.

8:06

Excellent. All right. Wait, hold on. I

8:08

have a question. If we have an election party this year,

8:10

will you come? We should

8:13

do it. Do it like this. We have to

8:15

do it. And it is Trump again, right? Yeah,

8:17

it's going to be Trump. Should we do this

8:19

time, though? We should all just like I think

8:21

meditate silently and take it be really somber and

8:23

serious. We should have an election party. OK.

8:26

How do you want to do it? Will you plan the

8:28

party? Yeah, I'll

8:30

plan it. I'll plan it with these guys. Oh,

8:32

with our podcast producers? Yeah, yeah. You know what

8:34

was sad about the party? There was one point

8:36

when I was one of the few

8:39

people down here. And you had like a blow

8:41

up. Flamingo.

8:45

But also, I could have sworn it was

8:47

like a blow up woman. That

8:50

could be. And she was floating face

8:52

down. That

8:54

was a flamingo. In the pool. It's

8:57

possible as a guy who had a blow up woman. But

9:00

we also had a deep symbol. We

9:02

had a playlist. We had a playlist

9:04

going. We drug a TV out to

9:06

the pool. And people

9:08

were like eating their mini burritos

9:11

and watching just the video portion

9:15

while these times they are a

9:17

changin' was like playing. Like we

9:19

had all these like kind of

9:21

like hippy. And

9:24

it just felt so unbelievable that

9:26

someone who was that

9:28

way towards women could

9:30

ever be elected president. Like that's not how

9:33

I was ever raised. And

9:35

that's why I get so mad when people are like, oh,

9:38

I don't need my president to be a nice guy. It's

9:41

like OK. Say that again. I don't

9:43

need that. Natasha, you don't

9:45

have to change your voice. You already

9:47

have the voice that you're trying to change

9:49

to. You came into the party. You're already

9:52

doing the accent. OK. I

9:54

have limited ability to speak. So let me just get it out.

9:57

That is a big one of the things that people say

9:59

when when like when I'm on the road and I bring

10:01

people up and they're like I'll vote for Trump and I

10:03

always ask him why and they're like yeah I don't need

10:05

my president to be a nice guy and

10:08

but my daughter doesn't know who Trump is. Yes she

10:11

does. Not really. She called him the corny president. She

10:13

goes because when she was born. Why

10:15

are we talking about Trump? Well

10:17

he did just get. Oh that's true.

10:19

He is relevant honey. He is relevant

10:21

today. What do you think?

10:23

Anything will anything come of that? Nothing.

10:26

It just feels so ridiculous. We're so

10:28

through the looking glasses in society. I

10:30

just think the Democrats wanted to taint

10:33

him before the election. It doesn't matter

10:35

whether he he beat the case or

10:37

not. It's just like it's

10:40

politics. Like I feel like we

10:42

have two terrible choices for president

10:44

and we deserve better as

10:46

a country and and and that's more

10:48

troubling to me than anything. Right what

10:50

is Colin Quinn had a joke he

10:53

was like every four years we elect

10:55

a president and forty nine point nine

10:57

percent of the country is like enraged

10:59

and betrayed. He's like that doesn't seem

11:02

like a system of government that works.

11:04

I just don't want my daughter hearing

11:06

things he said. I don't like

11:08

the modeling. I don't want her to know that you can't

11:10

have dojo cat honey. I

11:12

don't want her to know that you can

11:14

like talk to people like that. Call people

11:16

names whatever other unhinged unruly

11:19

things and it's gonna be way worse. Oh

11:21

my God maybe we should have an election party because

11:24

maybe you know we'll be able

11:26

to celebrate. Celebrate

11:28

Biden and then there's a

11:30

Biden party. Everybody's

11:33

like eating cottage cheese and having like it

11:35

would be fun to see who comes though.

11:40

Nobody should only invite back. Yeah. We should

11:42

only invite the people we invited the first

11:44

time. Yeah that's right. And see if they'll

11:46

come. See if they come. See if this

11:48

is like not a revenge

11:51

but like a but

11:53

again it's just the candidates are

11:55

sad. So it's like I'm

11:58

just like it's whatever I'm just gonna live my life. I'm

12:00

getting Italian citizenship. What are you doing? I? I'm

12:04

gonna vote for Robert F Kennedy

12:06

jr. That's what I'm gonna do. What do

12:08

you think of him? I don't know

12:10

enough about him. My voice is better than

12:12

his that's true. You do see him. Wait

12:14

a minute I think you're

12:17

on your way to be in here the VP

12:19

can well, I don't know enough about him I

12:21

don't like that. He does comedy podcasts and surfs

12:23

and talk and is like we he's a weird He

12:25

seems like a wacko. I don't we don't need more

12:28

wacko. We don't need to turn the dial up on

12:30

wacko Look him up and see if you do you

12:32

like him? I saw something where

12:35

he was like explaining Oh,

12:38

the war in the Ukraine.

12:40

Mm-hmm like in an honest way. Mm-hmm

12:42

and he looped in Black

12:45

Rock and NATO and America's

12:47

part in the war, you

12:50

know because they just make it look like

12:52

Putin just did some crazy shit sure attack

12:54

the Ukraine But right, you know, he's he

12:56

doesn't want nukes next

12:58

to Russia all the NATO countries

13:01

have nukes Mm-hmm and Ukraine

13:03

is right next to Russia So

13:05

there was an agreement that the

13:08

Ukraine could be its own independent

13:10

country but you can't join the

13:12

UN or NATO and if

13:15

you do then they're gonna get nukes or

13:18

Putin's like I you guys trying to

13:21

make Ukraine a part of NATO and

13:23

fuck it. I'm invading Well,

13:25

okay I mean, I didn't know we were gonna do

13:27

a political debate But I do know that

13:30

the UN that that NATO

13:32

didn't wasn't including Ukraine

13:35

in NATO They put them on like

13:37

a track to be in NATO. They

13:39

weren't joining right? So they Putin's

13:41

whole thing is that he likes these

13:43

former Soviet you Soviet Satellites to be

13:45

under his sway. They can be an

13:48

independent nation if they are basically controlled

13:50

by Russia. Georgia is like that What's

13:54

the Bela Russia is like that you the

13:57

Ukraine had a puppet leader that was that was

13:59

running Ukraine, and they kicked him out of office

14:02

and elected a EU friend of the current. A

14:04

stand-up comic. A stand-up comic. And that was. Because

14:09

you said you don't like RFK

14:11

doing comedy podcasts. It's

14:13

literally a stand-up comic,

14:16

a sketch, a UCB

14:18

guy. It

14:20

was a good time, though. Good times. Like

14:22

we said, it was good times running. I

14:24

just think it's a little more complicated than

14:26

just Putin was under threat of nukes. Putin

14:29

wanted Ukraine to be Russian, basically. I

14:32

don't know everything. I don't know everything either.

14:34

I do know that Ukraine is a heavily nuclear nation.

14:37

That I know for sure. OK,

14:39

Ian, I have a question. What percentage do

14:41

you believe in crystals? Zero.

14:44

It's pretty low. It's got to be zero. OK. He

14:47

believes in it. You could say zero. OK, what about

14:49

horoscope? I

14:52

never believed in horoscope. I went to this

14:54

Jamaican restaurant in England

14:56

once, and you

14:59

have to wait. They're rude,

15:01

and they make you wait. So they had all

15:03

the horoscopes on the wall. So I read Aquarius.

15:05

And I was like, oh, shit, that's me. But

15:08

that's to

15:10

the most of it. You know what I mean? You

15:12

mean you read the characteristics, and you were like, that's me, that's

15:14

me, that's me. That's me, that's me. Did you read the other

15:16

ones, though? Yeah, but I

15:19

was like, they weren't me, and

15:21

I don't remember them because they didn't apply to me. So

15:23

I was like. I have to say,

15:26

no one I've asked this question to and

15:28

I ask it a lot has ever said

15:30

anything besides zero. Ian

15:32

didn't quite say zero. He said very little. That's

15:35

zero. He's trying to be polite. All right. No,

15:37

no, no. But

15:39

again, I'm open. If there's something you want

15:41

to tell me about it or some ammunition

15:43

you could give me to attack you about

15:45

it, I'll take it. OK, let

15:48

me ask you this. Where did you learn to be

15:50

so open and to really take in all sides like

15:52

that? Is that something you learned from your family? I

15:55

think it just helps with comedy. Right,

15:57

neutrality helps. Neutrality helps in being. That

15:59

is not. in right now. Kind of

16:01

like a contrarian so you could see the other

16:03

side of things that helps with observation. I love

16:05

all of that and I feel like it's so

16:07

out of style. Honey, I think you should vote

16:09

for Robert F. Kennedy Jr. No! It's

16:12

just more about like, you know, really seeing

16:14

what all the sides are saying. Cause

16:16

there might be one little thing that's

16:19

interesting. Cause no side is completely right.

16:21

Like they all, like both sides mess

16:23

up. And I feel like when

16:26

you listen to NPR, like I used to

16:28

listen to NPR all the time, but I'm

16:30

like, listen to NPR is like somebody just

16:32

listening to Fox all the time. So sometimes

16:34

I would hurtfully listen to, when

16:36

he was alive, Rush Limbaugh. Sure. A

16:39

little bit. It was tough. He was a headliner.

16:41

Yeah, he was a headliner. But how do you

16:43

not, cause you know, I know people who listen to

16:45

that, who aren't as educated as you and they'll

16:47

be like, believing anything that's kind of

16:50

trying to sway people, sway the

16:52

masses with some false information. That's

16:55

the thing, like how do we know? You

16:57

can't know, right? Right. I

17:00

mean, like there's so many confusing facts

17:02

just on the internet. Like

17:05

you can find something that will tell you, drinking

17:08

out of this cup is the 100% best thing for

17:10

you to do for your life. And then you'll

17:12

see the facts that say, this is never

17:15

drink out of this cup. And

17:17

it'll have like, so you just

17:19

have to go inside. No, 100%. I

17:22

was meditating, like try to answer for yourself.

17:24

Well, also you keep looking. Yeah, keep looking.

17:26

I saw this clip online the other day.

17:28

I love this kind of clip. It

17:31

was a pro-life activist

17:33

woman on a college campus. And

17:35

then these two young, like

17:38

progressive women saying something about their

17:40

pro-choice and you know, it's a fetus and the girl,

17:43

I'm so glad you said fetus. So

17:45

glad you said that. You could see, you know, when somebody

17:48

is like, gets horny for the point they're

17:50

about to make, you could see her like,

17:52

I'm so glad you said fetus. Cause do

17:54

you know what the Latin word for fetus,

17:56

the word fetus is a Latin word. Do

17:58

you know what it means in Latin? And

18:01

they of course did. because they don't do

18:03

90 lectures about abortion a year on college

18:05

campuses. She's like, it means little person, tiny

18:07

person. And that's

18:09

what you're getting rid of. Okay, leaving

18:11

aside whether that's a good point or

18:13

not. I'm like, that

18:16

doesn't sound correct. I

18:18

don't know Latin, it just doesn't feel, so I

18:20

look it up. What does

18:22

fetus mean in Latin? It

18:25

fucking doesn't mean little person. It doesn't mean

18:27

little person. Oh, so I was

18:30

okay to have that abortion then. So I didn't know. No,

18:33

I'm saying leaving aside the fact that

18:37

the definition of a Latin definition of a

18:39

word has no bearing on whether something's an

18:41

immoral decision or not. People on the internet,

18:43

it's like the fertile

18:45

ground for making a fully

18:48

false statement, but with I saw another one.

18:50

This guy goes, you know how they

18:53

started school? You know how schooling began? They

18:56

realized after World War I that

19:00

people weren't patriotic enough to join

19:03

the military. They weren't patriotic

19:06

enough to join the military, so what

19:08

they wanted to do was start these little

19:10

indoctrination centers. So they started schools to

19:12

send kids to schools to teach them

19:14

to be blindly jingoistic and patriotic to

19:16

the country of their origins so that

19:18

they could recruit more people in the

19:20

military. I go, and it sounded really

19:22

compelling. And I'm like, but that

19:24

timeline seems wrong. They started school in 1902, so

19:26

I looked it up. Just

19:30

a lie, it's just not even true. None

19:33

of it is true. That's what the

19:35

internet is. It's just a very confident

19:37

person making a completely false statement and

19:39

convincing you that it's true. Yeah,

19:42

I mean, it's tough, man, to

19:44

know what's right or wrong. You just really

19:46

have to center

19:49

yourself and figure it out. You think the

19:51

answers do lie within, actually? Yeah, you get

19:53

all the information. All

19:56

my answers are simple. What

19:58

means peace? If

22:00

it was all that it was all that but

22:02

do you feel like there's more and more of

22:04

those ideologues like things are getting More extreme and

22:06

and I think the extremes are getting bigger I

22:09

think that's a mean people are just loud You

22:11

don't think I think like that his

22:14

history is like in a cycle

22:16

and you can you know We were raised in

22:18

this like post-world war two era thinking like this

22:20

can never happen again And we

22:22

didn't sort of realize that it's it

22:25

was always gonna happen again And we're like

22:27

back in that in in the phase before

22:29

World War one World War two Brought

22:37

me down this rabbit hole Here's

22:42

the thing we should have our second party we

22:44

should have another election party here because you already

22:46

found out He was elected once at the house,

22:48

right? Why not? Why not? Come back to a

22:50

safe space? All right, we're gonna do it We're

22:52

gonna have a party. You know what we'll do

22:54

is we'll invite all of our listeners to this

22:56

party so What

22:59

about we do a zoom election nobody wants

23:01

to come No, real people

23:03

are gonna want to come when we have a

23:05

zoom running to see who's at our clueless Like

23:08

fucking white liberal bubble party part 2.0

23:13

All right, well listen in you have great wisdom.

23:16

Thank you. Would you be ready to give some

23:18

advice some terrible advice? Yes

23:20

Let's do it Okay,

23:28

our first call is are we gonna

23:30

see her on the TV Kristen calling

23:32

from Portland, Oregon Yeah,

23:35

it's also Portland, Maine, Laura Is

23:38

Oregon I got a ride And

23:40

is this is she's zooming in she's zooming in

23:43

election party style So

23:46

this is a taste. Whoa, you look otherworldly

23:49

lady Kristen you look like

23:51

a Floating like a Victorian. I

23:53

mean you look you have a lot of color

23:55

in your face I'm not saying you don't but

23:58

it's a very dramatic look that you've got going

24:00

on. There's a very actor studio. Yeah. Okay. We

24:02

got Ian Edwards here. One of the five

24:10

wisest and funniest men in America.

24:12

Also a campaigner for the Robert

24:14

F. Kennedy Jr. campaign. Me baby.

24:17

How can we help? Hey, thanks

24:19

for taking my call. I'm excited. We're

24:21

excited to have you. So

24:24

I am married to a man. We've

24:28

been together for about six

24:30

years. And basically for

24:32

the entire time, he has had this very

24:34

strong dream of being in

24:36

a trouble. Uh huh. Women. Strong

24:40

dream. I have a strong dream. Strong

24:44

dream. This is gonna blow your mind because

24:47

it's a little unusual for a man to

24:49

have a dream like this. Now I

24:51

am a man in Portland, Oregon and

24:53

I was thinking polyamory

24:59

is the dream. Okay,

25:02

go on. The

25:04

thing is, so he doesn't want to

25:07

have like, like a broadly polyamorous relationship

25:09

or like separate relationships or anything. He

25:11

like specifically wants to have another woman

25:14

in our relationship with us. Wait,

25:16

I'm sorry. In a sex situation

25:18

or a relationship? Relation,

25:21

right? Yeah, all of it. You

25:24

know, some people still have sex deep into

25:26

their relationship, Natasha. Oh, I mean,

25:28

like that happens sometimes. Come

25:31

on. No, we fuck constantly, Kristen. We were

25:33

just doing that comedic effect. But but but

25:35

opening up to a three way

25:37

seems way more innocent now

25:40

compared to a throuple. That's Oh,

25:42

you're saying one night Yeah,

25:44

like Moshe when we got married, he was always

25:46

talking about three way. Yeah,

25:48

like that's true. Did you

25:51

give up? I

25:55

gave up. Yeah, you know what? She used to

25:57

say she did. What

26:01

would you say tell her I said let's

26:03

just wait till I have the baby Let's

26:05

wait till we have kids and I for

26:07

some reason Me

26:09

to say that he did not really that

26:11

is funny I for some reason

26:13

as a man was so excited at

26:15

the at the non-no Right

26:18

that I go. Okay, that makes sense. Yeah.

26:20

Yeah. We'll wait until there's a baby here.

26:22

That's perfect time She delays the baby By

26:25

the time baby, I can't have a threesome.

26:27

I got a baby I mean, it's just

26:29

such a funny logic that you would have

26:31

a threesome that threesome time is now the

26:33

infants here. Okay Yeah, it's time for a

26:35

threesome. Okay, but but I'm old school.

26:38

Anyway, I mean Thrupple sounds

26:40

very intense a threesome is like come on it's

26:42

over with and then you don't have to think

26:44

about it again for eight months Yeah,

26:47

it's true. It's true. That's a really good first step What

26:49

is the threesome and we have like dabbled in the threesome?

26:54

And it was really fun but

26:57

like They were all

26:59

one-night stands. So we both have

27:01

kind of been like, you know, that was good It would

27:03

be really fun to actually like have this

27:05

social Relationship

27:08

going on where like we're cooking dinner

27:10

together and we're like Cooking

27:13

dinner together with

27:16

the Annoying woman with the

27:18

hot body that you guys are in a

27:20

really In theory they

27:22

both like the girl I mean that they would

27:25

be engaging in a relationship with them, right? I'm

27:27

sorry I cannot Yeah, exactly.

27:29

Yeah, that's the whole thing is like my

27:32

husband is you know He has this

27:34

history of being extremely promiscuous before he

27:36

met me. He was like wild

27:39

fuck boy and You

27:42

know he He

27:44

want and he loves that and so he wants

27:46

to kind of share that with me your

27:49

husband loves Kind of you know,

27:51

he loves getting laid beautiful phrasing.

27:54

It's all about phrasing. He wants to share

27:56

that with me This

27:59

is gay you got games. That's funny.

28:01

Is he a blood? So interesting. Your

28:07

husband liked getting laid a lot. And

28:10

that was something he enjoyed. That's interesting.

28:12

That's kind of unusual. So okay, so

28:14

he wants to and you don't seem

28:16

opposed to it. No, no,

28:18

no. Yeah, I'm totally into it. So

28:21

the question that I have though,

28:23

is like, I'm a total I

28:25

am like a nerd. I have

28:27

like literally no idea how

28:30

to pick up women. I've never had to

28:32

pick up anybody before in my life. Oh

28:34

my god, he wants you to pick her

28:36

up too. You got she's got

28:38

to check the pasta. And then she also

28:41

is like, you got

28:43

Oh my god, is he giving you the the

28:45

the up the option of

28:47

picking the woman? Is that is that? Yeah,

28:50

well, so far, the way it's gone

28:52

is like he's phenomenal at picking them

28:54

up. And he'll like bring them over

28:56

to me is like, here's a present,

28:58

you know, but then once the woman

29:00

sees like this cute guy who she's

29:02

interested in has a wife, it's like

29:04

99% of the time. She's like, no,

29:06

thanks. Here's what you need. You know, whatever.

29:08

And then the other 1% of the time

29:11

where the woman seems open. It's

29:13

like, I, yeah, I

29:15

can't like seal the deal. Girl, girl,

29:18

I have to tell you

29:20

something. You're in

29:22

an alternative community. You

29:25

need community. You need to find

29:28

where there are like minded people

29:30

you live, you know, in

29:32

a city, I don't want to say where you live, or

29:35

we already did you live in Portland. You

29:37

should be able to figure this out. They got apps

29:39

for this. Yeah, they do have apps for this. Yeah.

29:42

And I think that like, I also phone with

29:45

you have a phone and putting

29:47

yourself on the line like that, like, having

29:50

to go like talk to people and then they

29:52

have boyfriends like that is so like, you

29:54

need to just everyone needs to be on the table. It needs

29:56

to be like, oh, this is an understanding.

29:58

This is what we do this Yeah, that

30:01

I'm with you. Any thoughts? Yeah,

30:03

I just I just did

30:06

you actually say what the issue is

30:08

yet? She can't seal

30:10

the deal Yeah, I like

30:13

I don't know how to pick someone up So

30:15

we've decided that it isn't really it does not

30:17

working and like Natasha said it's not really that

30:19

fair to Bring a woman into

30:21

a situation where she like doesn't know

30:23

what's happening. So if I am

30:25

the one who's like, hi, you know I Just

30:31

get on the apps. Yeah, I mean yeah,

30:34

it's for this let's say No,

30:37

no, no, Kristen, let's say I was in the

30:39

scat play. Okay, that's what I'm into

30:42

I want a lady to shit on me. That's the

30:44

only way I can get off. That's what I'm into

30:47

Suppose I went to a bar and

30:50

was like you're pretty Hey,

30:52

what I come sit down what I mean to

30:54

is people shitting on me What's

30:56

the percentage of people that'd be like me too?

30:58

I mean, it's like zero But if I were

31:00

to find a shit community if I were to

31:03

go to Germany Then I could

31:05

find my people like I think Natasha's

31:07

right on and Ian's right on you

31:09

need to either It's obvious your success

31:11

rate at going to a bar with

31:13

your husband and then your husband coming

31:15

over and Randomly the girl he

31:17

thought was hot being like yeah, I want to

31:19

be in a relationship with both of you this

31:21

married couple It's zero you're gonna keep What

31:24

do you can't seal the deal because they're just

31:26

like what what what is this? But if you

31:28

were to go laughing at you It's just a I

31:31

get it If you were to go online and find

31:33

poly communities or throupe lee communities or that that

31:36

what is the app? Is it scruff? No, that's

31:38

a gay one. It's there's there's a specific app

31:40

for three Sims I can't remember what it is

31:42

because I killed my account. Yeah They

31:46

threw you off. I thought yeah But

31:48

kick me out you got to find your people

31:50

if this is what you Natasha 100% right you're

31:53

you're dealing in a Sliver

31:55

of humanity. Let's say 2%

31:59

of people are down to to be in a relationship with a

32:01

married couple? No, not that much. It's 0.5. Half

32:05

of a percent. And you're just going to

32:07

the random bar in Portland, going, what about

32:09

you, what about you, what about you? It's

32:11

no wonder. And go to Sandals in Jamaica.

32:13

Yes. And there's places. There's

32:15

cruises. There's all kinds of stuff with that.

32:18

Go to the Black Dragon Clubhouse. They

32:20

love poly stuff there. But also, maybe I'm wrong.

32:22

I don't know. Maybe more people are into that. But

32:25

being in a throuple just randomly, I mean,

32:27

I don't know. Is that what

32:29

young people want? Well, I think there are a lot

32:32

more people are into that kind of alternative relationship now

32:34

than when we were growing up, for sure. But

32:36

I still don't know anyone who's in one. Who's

32:38

in a successful throuple? Yes, or one. I

32:41

don't know anyone who's not in one. Really?

32:43

Everybody you know is in a throuple? Maybe

32:46

they talk about poly and throuples so

32:48

much. It just feels like everybody's

32:50

in one. Do they have kids? No,

32:53

kids throws everything into a big tizzy.

32:55

Some people still do. You

32:57

know people who are in a throuple with children? No,

33:00

most of them are single. But

33:02

I'm sure that some of the, like

33:05

when you watch some of those exposés on

33:07

TV, and you're like. You see the kids

33:09

there. Mommy one and mommy two. You

33:11

see the mom and the dad bods. These people got

33:13

kids. Yeah. OK, I got a question

33:15

for you, Kristen. Are

33:18

you trying to find a girlfriend for you and

33:20

your husband? That's where the

33:22

throuple is, right? She's your girlfriend. She's like,

33:24

you go on dates. Does she live

33:26

with you? You wanted to move in? No,

33:28

we have kids. OK, oh, she

33:31

has kids. But

33:33

yeah, we have kids. And

33:36

our house is on the small side

33:38

for how many kids we have. Right. Although

33:41

to be fair, to the room you're in, it looks a

33:43

lot like a place you would have group sex in. Like

33:45

it really does have that energy. How are you guys going

33:47

to be in a relationship with another woman? Is that something

33:49

you tell the children? Good question. Well,

33:52

yeah. I mean, we haven't

33:54

gotten to that part yet, because. How

33:57

do you keep your kids out of that?

34:00

sex dungeon that you're in right now.

34:02

Yeah. It's a special lock that they

34:04

don't have. Yeah. OK,

34:07

so you want the fear of

34:09

God. Oh, you guys are a godly house. I

34:11

didn't realize that until just now. Now, wait. OK,

34:13

so you want a girlfriend, basically. And

34:15

I mean, I

34:18

wouldn't necessarily say in a

34:21

traditional relationship, the way

34:23

to find a girlfriend is just go chat

34:25

someone up at a bar. What about going

34:27

to like a poly community, go into like

34:29

a Burning Man party, or finding people that

34:31

are kind of into this lifestyle. Have you

34:34

done that? I mean, that's pretty much

34:36

exclusively what we do, is go out

34:38

to Burning Man events and parties, electronic

34:40

music dance parties, and stuff like that.

34:42

OK, so you're not at just like a sports bar.

34:45

That's good. That's good. You're in a good zone.

34:47

OK. Not a sports bar. There

34:49

is like a burner-owned sex club

34:52

in Portland. There we go. That's

34:54

like not a lot of sex happens, but

34:57

it's very good socially. Oh, I know that place.

34:59

It's called On Brand. Yeah,

35:02

good joke. Good joke. Everybody liked

35:04

it. So hold on. I have a question.

35:07

You have not

35:10

wanted to have a throuple. She does want it. No,

35:12

no, no. I'm just saying for the past 20 years,

35:14

and now you've just decided what made

35:17

you decide. What? I'm curious. What

35:19

made you decide you wanted it? It's

35:21

a good question. I mean, it's like I

35:23

just hadn't really ever thought of it. But

35:27

he constantly pitched it. And

35:30

he every single day, pretty much every

35:32

day. Wait, every day? It's a

35:35

basic idea. He wore

35:37

her down. He

35:39

just wore her down. I

35:42

got an idea. Now, it's

35:44

the same idea, but

35:46

this is a new angle on it. So

35:50

tell me what, maybe if you knew stronger,

35:52

what appeals to you about it? You have

35:54

a better success rate at the bar. Yeah,

35:56

what are you excited about in this? Is it just sexual?

35:59

Is it what is it? What do you want out of

36:01

this? I think for

36:03

me, it's the social scene. Since

36:06

the pandemic, we've been so isolated, and

36:08

it's been hard for us to break

36:10

out of that. And I feel like

36:12

the more you can meet new people

36:15

and become closer to new people, then

36:17

they introduce you to their friends.

36:20

And it's like you get to

36:22

talk to more adults all day.

36:25

You get to have people to go out with. You

36:27

get to

36:29

have a fun, happening party

36:31

vibe. I bet you

36:34

that's what your husband's excited about too. Well,

36:38

he kind of is. Well,

36:40

one, it'll be fun. Two,

36:43

it'll be good for a relationship. Three, he thinks it'll

36:45

make him a better person. So

36:48

he's very excited about that. He's really

36:50

developed his pitch. I

36:53

got to give him credit for being honest from the

36:55

jump. Yeah, this is who I

36:57

am. There's a lot of

36:59

men, they don't have the balls to tell

37:02

their woman that. And so they've been living

37:04

with this. He's open about it. And

37:08

whether they do it or not, she knows.

37:11

And he knows she knows. They've

37:13

dabbled here and there. So just

37:16

don't do anything you don't want to do. So

37:19

what is the,

37:21

I know that you wanted a specific answer

37:25

on sealing the deal. I don't quite know what

37:27

that means. Do you mean like hooking up with

37:29

them or like asking them out? Yeah,

37:32

getting them to be interested in like giving us a

37:34

chance, you know, like

37:36

whether it be just like, I'm

37:40

not sure I'm into dating a married couple, but I'd

37:42

hang out with you and see what it's like. No,

37:44

you need to go to people who are only look,

37:47

you need to go on a reality show called Thrupple Island.

37:49

Is that a show? It's not a show, honey.

37:51

But you need something like that. You

37:54

need, you need to only because,

37:56

because, I mean, what are the chances? It's so

37:58

hard to get someone who's interested in it. in

38:00

one person and then both of you, like a

38:02

package deal. I'm curious about a few things. And

38:05

I would feel a little like, I would feel

38:07

like for me, that's so aggressive. There

38:10

can't be, like the average person at the bar must,

38:12

it's just like, it just feels like it's not, it's

38:14

like my dad playing the lottery. Right. He died. And

38:16

my dad looked at me and he was like, one

38:18

day I will win. And

38:21

then he died and he didn't win. What

38:24

about, okay, I'm curious about a few things. How

38:26

is it gonna make your husband a better person? What's

38:29

his line there? He

38:33

thinks that it will be, it will hold

38:36

him more accountable to certain things.

38:39

Like he's gotten a little lazy in our

38:41

relationship, like cleaning up the kitchen or like

38:43

cleaning up the house. And he's like thinking

38:46

back to his like promiscuous days. And he

38:48

was like, okay, when I had a woman

38:50

coming over to the house, I like be

38:52

sure the kitchen was cleaned and like I

38:54

had a soup on the stove and like

38:56

all that stuff. So he thinks

38:59

that that will happen again. I see. He's

39:01

basically saying, I'll start cleaning again

39:03

if we can get another lady in here. But he's

39:06

basic, but what he's kind of saying is like, I

39:08

will be on my P's and

39:10

Q's more because there'll be new energy in the

39:12

relationship and I'll have to kind of like try

39:14

a little harder. And do

39:16

you feel like you would be capable of being

39:18

in this relationship without feeling jealousy and stuff like

39:21

that? Good question.

39:23

Yeah. I mean, I guess that's the other thing

39:25

is like, I don't really know

39:28

how it would unfold, but that would

39:30

obviously be a high priority for me

39:32

is to make this person feel welcome.

39:34

And like, not like they're

39:36

a third wheel, but like

39:38

they're integrated in our

39:40

relationship. So that's like

39:42

the like third or fourth step. Are

39:45

you and your husband like very

39:48

active with each other sexually now, or is

39:50

it kind of tailed off for you? You're

39:52

both kind of like, we've

39:54

done everything together. It's kind of boring. Do

39:56

you need this as something new

39:58

to spice it up? Good question.

40:01

Like, our sex is amazing.

40:03

And it always has been and it just

40:05

gets better and better. Wow. What do you

40:07

mean? Wow. I mean, that's normal.

40:09

To have three kids and your

40:11

sex just keeps getting better and better.

40:14

That's normal. Yeah. I relate.

40:16

That's what you're supposed to

40:18

say. Well, two of them are only

40:20

with us half time. Got it. And one

40:23

who just moved with us full time. So, you

40:25

know, for most of our relationship, we've had time

40:28

alone. All right.

40:30

What's what's the app, Laura? Hold on.

40:32

Oh, I have some advice while

40:34

she's finding the app. Yeah. Okay. So

40:36

for me, the thing that's hot about a throuple is

40:39

it would like I remember reading this book

40:42

by F Scott Fitzgerald. It was called move

40:45

a movable feast or something. It's all about like

40:47

Paris in the 20s. And

40:49

like this like intellectual set. And then there's like

40:51

a couple and then they all then they they

40:53

have a friend and then everyone just sort of

40:55

like starts like getting attracted to

40:58

each it's like organic like, you know,

41:00

this whole thing like, push your

41:02

glasses up. I'm gonna go find a throuple.

41:04

I need a third. Like it's just a

41:06

little like that. Maybe that is the opposite

41:08

of the advice I gave earlier too, which

41:10

was like, you know, get into a community.

41:13

I mean, I don't know the world sucks

41:15

now. So it's not Paris in the 20s. So I don't

41:17

really know. Do I sound like

41:19

Miley Cyrus? It kind of sounds like when you do

41:21

the when you do the act out voices, I noticed

41:24

that it's harder for you. Natasha is

41:26

having a difficult time with her throat right now because

41:28

we had we had a throuple that went bad. And

41:31

the lady we selected something was so what's

41:35

the app? Oh,

41:38

there's a bunch. Yeah. Polly

41:41

finda. These are so many people

41:43

who are just looking for meals. So yeah,

41:46

what do you think about going on an app? Are you opposed

41:48

to that idea? You want it to be more organic? Yeah,

41:51

I mean, I think an app would be like last

41:53

why? Or just because

41:57

I think what we envisioned would be more like

41:59

what Natasha Josh is sad, you know, just like

42:01

find people that light you up and and

42:04

why can't you find them online? I

42:06

mean, finding a throuple in the wild just

42:08

seems I just feel it just feels impossible.

42:11

Like a wild throuple. It just seems I

42:13

mean, not impossible, but just like it

42:16

bakers. But think about you. OK, you're single,

42:18

you're a young single woman. A cute guy

42:20

comes over to you and you start

42:22

chatting. I really like this guy. And then he's like, great. I

42:24

want you to meet my my wife.

42:29

I know. Yeah. Well,

42:31

she would like it. Would you like it in

42:33

your when you were single? You know, I wouldn't like

42:35

that. I

42:37

want it the other way. I

42:41

think I would be excited, but

42:43

you don't always want somebody to approach you

42:45

like that if you're not interested

42:48

in both of them. You know, like

42:50

that happened to me and we're older.

42:52

So like are like a lot

42:54

of the crowds that we go to, there people are

42:56

younger and we don't want to be like this creepy

42:59

old couple. Oh, that happened to me. And

43:01

I got like exhilarated, but it was like

43:03

this creepy old couple. And so I'm like,

43:06

no, thank you. I have an idea. You're

43:08

not going to like it, though. If you

43:10

didn't have kids, it would be a more

43:12

viable idea. But you guys could open your

43:14

relationship. And then

43:17

see you could date women, you could

43:19

date women and then you could see

43:21

and then close it into a throuple. Yeah.

43:24

And then you could be like, you wanted to pitch someone

43:26

he wanted. I mean, that's very adventurous. But

43:29

that that at least would create your Paris in

43:31

the 20s. Yeah.

43:33

If you're if you're feeling romantic. That's

43:36

a good idea. We've talked about that. You

43:39

could do it for a month. Yeah,

43:43

good idea. You like that idea? Like

43:46

that idea. It could be it could be very

43:48

tentative. I mean, it's very like outside the box.

43:50

But you know, and inside

43:52

the box. I it's I think that's

43:54

going to be elected in six months. Who cares?

43:57

I think that's a pretty good idea. You open up your relationship

43:59

for one. You guys go on a

44:01

like a marriage rum-springer. You come back

44:04

with two viable candidates, right? Like here's

44:06

this girl, here's this girl. And

44:08

then by the time you've gone

44:10

on a few dates with them, you'll know pretty clearly

44:12

whether or not they're down to be in a throuple

44:14

with you and your husband because you'll be able to

44:17

ask them that. That's smart, Natasha. Shit is going well.

44:19

And then one day, like, I got something to

44:21

tell you. Yeah. I want you to meet my husband.

44:24

That's it. That's it. My

44:27

husband wants to meet you. Well,

44:29

it's not all, you know, it could

44:31

also. Open up

44:34

your marriage in a way you can never return back

44:36

to. In an exciting way, too. I will.

44:38

An exciting way, but also it's very risky because

44:40

like you can never go back. What if

44:42

you get him addicted to like apps or

44:44

something? I don't know. You're going to

44:46

have a better chance at the bar IRL than he

44:48

is. I'm just assuming

44:51

because you're an attractive woman and

44:53

he's probably like has he's desperate. Oh,

44:55

but by the way, it doesn't even

44:57

matter what he looks like, he wants

44:59

it. People, that's like a turnoff. So

45:01

he's going to have to do the apps and

45:03

like, I don't know what he's going to do.

45:05

Yeah, you did leave out an important detail, which

45:07

is that you're at like

45:10

electronic dance music parties, bringing

45:12

back the young raver girls to

45:14

try to join your married Thrupple

45:16

that maybe that maybe that

45:19

is part of the issue, to be

45:21

honest and no offense. You're very you're

45:23

a beautiful woman, but maybe you're trying

45:25

to get these like young raver girls

45:27

on to join your Thrupple and they're

45:29

like, that's not where they're at. Maybe

45:32

you should look to somebody like in your

45:34

own age kind of situation. Also,

45:37

also, I really think that this is such a good idea

45:39

now that I'm thinking about it because it's going to get

45:42

out of his system. Like

45:44

you go do your thing. It's only four

45:46

weeks. You don't have to like talk about

45:48

it that much with him. You guys are

45:50

just doing your own things. And

45:52

then I like the sound of that. And then

45:54

and this guy does sound like the kind of guy that

45:56

getting laid a lot kind of goes out of his system

45:58

pretty quickly. Well,

46:01

I'm just saying he's

46:03

gonna have some fumbling interactions

46:06

and let him do it on his own a little bit. So

46:10

it's not just this pipe dream that's never

46:12

gonna happen. You too, with his desperation, you're

46:15

not gonna like, it's not gonna happen

46:17

unless you do something like this, I

46:19

think. All right, Ian, final thoughts? Yeah,

46:22

you got some good. I think you should

46:24

definitely do the apps. It's

46:27

just easier, saves time, and

46:30

you don't want to do it, but it's

46:32

the modern age. Don't fight

46:34

technology. I know, you're like, I don't

46:36

know, we don't want to seem like we're older, creepier

46:38

couple, but what's the internet

46:41

dating? We don't do that. We like

46:43

Scott Fitzgerald energy and our through-up-o search.

46:45

I think Ian's 100% right. Do

46:48

the app and don't settle. If you want

46:50

somebody magic and organic, find someone on the

46:52

app that feels magic and organic. And then

46:55

once you're six months into your throuple, you're

46:57

not gonna remember that you were on Polyfind.

46:59

You'll just be like, I'm with this awesome

47:01

new girl that's brought us to all these

47:03

19-year-old raves and stuff. Yeah, that's

47:05

a good idea. All right,

47:08

well, go with your heart.

47:11

Thank you, thank you, I will. I

47:13

don't know, I'm excited for you. As

47:16

the only married man here, I gotta say your

47:18

husband sounds like he's about to be

47:20

living the dream. This will

47:22

be really fun. I like this idea that you say go get

47:25

it out of your system for a month, too. I really like

47:27

that. I'm really gonna be maybe bringing

47:29

that up later. It's a cool idea. Remember

47:32

Mosa, don't give up every day. Pitch

47:35

it every day. I

47:37

think, yeah, Ian's right. Get

47:40

rid of the idea that apps are bad because what

47:42

you want is specific. And you can find that specific

47:44

thing on an app. And then it's so easy

47:46

to close the deal on an app because the deal

47:48

has already been opened by virtue of the fact if

47:51

you're out at a rave, you're not there to find

47:53

a throuple. If you're on a dating app for throuples,

47:55

you're fucking, that's why you went there. Exactly,

47:58

yeah, so everybody shows up to the... the date

48:00

on the same page. Exactly. You don't

48:02

have to close the deal. The deal

48:04

is already it's preclosed. And

48:07

now you're on it. Now you're on a date, not on

48:09

a on a weird like gender

48:11

reveal party, like surprise Jack in the Box

48:13

thing where she walks over. Oh, that's what

48:16

this is. All right.

48:18

Well, good luck. Yeah. Thank you. And

48:20

if anybody in the audience has any ideas on

48:22

which apps are best for this, I would love.

48:25

That's good. We have a lot of poly listeners.

48:27

I do know that. And I'm sure we will

48:29

get some. So in the comments on

48:31

this on YouTube, we'll send them to you

48:33

if we get them. What's the best app

48:35

to find a throuple? Not just a threesome,

48:37

a throuple. Awesome. Good luck. Thank

48:40

you guys so much. Take care. Good luck. Bye.

48:43

Ian, I have a question. How how

48:45

did you manage to embrace

48:50

technology? I

48:52

was bad at first. You

48:54

know what I mean? So now I'm just trying to kind

48:57

of get better. Like I'm still I have a tick

48:59

tock account, but I don't really use it. I know

49:01

that's terrible. But also, I'm kind of

49:03

glad that tick tock might be gone in 12 months.

49:05

I know such a hater because I know I'm

49:07

so behind on it. I want it to go away. I

49:10

think the fact that I haven't looked at tick

49:12

tock is like there's a there's

49:14

a vial of crack in my drawer.

49:17

And I've never smoked it. But I

49:19

know it's there. And I know if I try it,

49:21

I will really like it and be totally addicted to

49:23

it and lose my life to it. And I'm like,

49:26

I should really open the vial up like all

49:28

these young people are smoking crack. I should probably

49:31

be smoke. I don't I'm glad

49:33

to be behind that technology because I feel

49:35

like it'll eat my life alive. Yeah, I

49:37

mean, I do think there's something to meeting people

49:39

in person. I

49:41

mean, we're comics. So we go out. We can meet

49:43

people in person. You're right. I

49:45

don't know what they're doing out there in Portland.

49:48

And like, like you see how dark that was her best room.

49:52

She knew she was going to be on a live stream. And

49:55

that was the best room and it was darker than

49:58

so. Who knows? where

50:00

they are. Here. Here.

50:03

Here. All

50:10

right, we're gonna call the other center

50:13

of thruples and polyamory in America,

50:15

Dallas, Texas, where Nancy is calling

50:17

in. Hi. Hey, Nancy. We're

50:20

here with Ian Edwards. Is it possible?

50:22

I shouldn't be doing any intros. Oh,

50:24

Natasha had her throat completely blown out

50:26

in the last couple of days for

50:28

reasons we can't get into. So

50:30

if she sounds like an old

50:32

broad from a smoky

50:35

bar, that's what's going on there. How can we

50:37

help? That's Ian Edwards, by the way, one of

50:39

the funniest men in America. Thank you. I

50:41

already said hi, Ian. I'm sorry, I missed that, honey. I

50:44

can't hear you very well because you

50:46

are disabled. So

50:48

what's up, Nance? Okay,

50:51

so my

50:53

friend with benefits and I have

50:57

been, I guess, let's go back

51:00

a bit. One of the

51:02

first things he said to me was that he

51:05

was interested in doing some

51:07

sort of

51:09

CNC scenario. What's that?

51:11

And consensual non-consent.

51:14

Okay, it's like rape

51:16

fantasy? Yes. Okay,

51:18

got it, okay. Yeah. I

51:21

used to work in that industry. In

51:23

the CNC music factory in the

51:25

90s. Okay, go on. Yeah,

51:29

so he had said that that was something

51:32

that he had done before, that he enjoyed,

51:34

and he was interested in, and it's something

51:36

that I've thought about but had never been

51:39

able to do with anybody. And

51:42

so I was very interested and open

51:44

to that. And

51:48

I have brought it up multiple times since this

51:50

came up, and he's always

51:52

like, oh yeah, I

51:54

don't know, I gotta be in the right mindset. I

51:58

need to be in the correct head space to

52:00

do that. I gotta have my ski mask on

52:02

and stuff. So let me ask, so the thing

52:04

is, he

52:07

wants to, he has to

52:09

fake rape you. Is that what it is? Is

52:12

that what it is? Yeah.

52:15

It's where you play a scenario, it's role playing, but

52:17

the role play is he's a

52:19

bad scary attacker man and you're

52:21

a victim. Yes. It's

52:24

a classic. It's a classic. Yeah, yeah,

52:26

yeah. Yeah, uh-huh, it's a classic. And

52:29

so he pitched it to you early

52:31

in your relationship and then

52:33

you're like, what's up, I'm down. Jump

52:36

out of that bush and he's

52:38

like, oh well, you know, sometimes it's

52:40

a little, interesting.

52:43

Well the question is if he's a friend, if

52:46

he's a friend with benefits, he's not your

52:48

boyfriend. Like I feel like if he was

52:50

your boyfriend and you guys

52:52

were in a committed relationship, it

52:54

might be different than, how

52:57

much can you expect from him, I

52:59

guess is, I don't know,

53:01

what's your question? Yeah, what is your question? What's the

53:03

hottest scenario that we could come up with for you

53:06

guys? How do you get him to fake rape you? Yeah,

53:08

yeah, how do I get him to

53:10

follow through with this? Or do

53:13

I just drop it? What's interesting, Natasha says he's

53:15

not your boyfriend because my instinct,

53:17

but then I remember that you said he

53:19

was a friend with benefit is what happened

53:21

was you started as friends with benefits and

53:23

then, and this is pretty bad that this

53:25

is true, but it is true that he

53:28

then caught feelings for you and he now

53:30

has, he now feels this kind

53:32

of affection for you and that degree of

53:34

kinky play for him isn't, but you saying

53:36

that your face is telling me that you

53:38

don't believe that. He's still, it's still very

53:40

casual. Okay, okay, because that was my first

53:42

instinct and I think that's bad if a

53:44

guy's like, oh I can't do this to

53:46

somebody I actually like, so

53:48

I wonder why is he demuring? How

53:50

many times have y'all just had regular

53:52

sex? I wanna know how deep into

53:54

the friends with

53:56

benefits situation. Oh, I mean,

53:59

I don't. I don't know like how many times

54:01

but it's been like a few months and

54:03

we I don't know like three months

54:05

I guess and we see each other like at least

54:08

once a week and let me ask you this apart

54:10

from the C CNC fantasy

54:13

How is the how is it going for

54:15

you? Do you really are you really loving

54:17

the sex? Are you into him? Yeah,

54:20

yeah, we've like become good friends and

54:23

like Hang out and

54:25

you know, we neither of

54:27

us wants anything further And

54:30

yeah, the sex has been like

54:32

good aside from that and like

54:35

he's explored things and yeah Okay.

54:37

Okay, not this thing. So how do you bring

54:39

it up when you bring it when you bring

54:41

it? He he errantly mentioned it at one point

54:44

and then and then you are like doing

54:47

You keep bringing it up like what's up with that? What's

54:49

up with that? CNC music factory like

54:51

when we doing that and he's just like getting weird

54:53

and when you when you say what do you say?

54:57

So like I brought that up maybe like two or

54:59

three times I guess a Couple

55:02

times over text being like hey, is it

55:04

something that you're still interested in doing at

55:07

every time? He's like, yes, definitely But

55:09

okay. I think I have I think I know

55:11

what do you think you I mean

55:13

if I've learned anything from our last caller Is

55:16

that you try that shit every day? I Know

55:22

persistence, please. Oh, yeah, just sexy

55:24

and see question mark every day

55:34

You don't have to answer to him Benefit

55:36

you can you cannot call them for four

55:38

days if you want, right? You don't owe

55:40

anyone anything I mean, this is

55:43

so funny this dynamic where you're like, how do

55:45

I get this guy to fake rape me? Like

55:47

I'm trying and I'm pulling my hair out over

55:49

here. I'm like, please I'm I'm here. I'm ready

55:52

Are do you do you invite him over and

55:54

you already tied up? So

55:57

here's what I would do I think That

56:00

would be cute actually rather than just

56:02

be persistent. I would say you you

56:05

say in a really explicit way I don't

56:07

mean it's actually explicit but like emotionally explicit.

56:09

Hey when you brought that up, maybe say

56:11

in person Maybe say it on text when

56:13

you brought that up. It really turned me

56:15

on. I really want to try it That's

56:17

something that I want to do. Have you

56:19

ever done it before? No So

56:23

you say I've never tried it and you bringing it up

56:25

like I haven't been able to get it out of my

56:27

mind It's something I want. So when can we do that?

56:29

Like let's make a date. Let's make a plan You can

56:31

even say I even called an advice podcast and asked them

56:34

what I should do And then

56:36

you should if he still doesn't do

56:38

it. He's a pussy So

56:43

move on and have someone else do it he's

56:45

not you know Yeah, and then you can talk

56:47

to open situation you can talk shit to you

56:49

about him to your friends You like can you

56:51

believe this fucking scumbag? He wouldn't even Roleplay

56:54

a sexual assault on me that that's what

56:57

a low but I think you just saying

56:59

it, you know, you just say it See

57:01

what's up. How do you guys I think

57:03

that's a good answer Moshe. How do you

57:06

guys normally have regular sex? How do you

57:08

get into it? Like is it like you

57:11

you make a plan? That

57:13

you're gonna go do it or like because

57:15

maybe that's a lead-in too. But

57:18

how do you normally know that you're gonna have

57:20

sex? We usually like

57:22

are hanging out Like

57:25

at one of his place usually

57:28

watching TV or whatever and then Yes,

57:32

okay, so okay the other

57:34

thing about this is Maybe

57:36

don't do that Yeah,

57:38

like don't do it like that to be

57:40

planned. Yeah plan a whole fucking scenario right

57:42

the scenario Maybe you know what starve him

57:44

out a little bit. No, I like that

57:46

Oh Wisdom

57:49

skip a few weeks of

57:51

sex. Yeah concrete advice. Yeah

57:54

That's getting lazy and you want him

57:56

to take you out on a sex

57:58

date, right on an intricate scale sex

58:00

date with like stops and escape rooms and

58:03

you know duct tape and liability. Yeah.

58:06

Make him need to like be more aggressive

58:08

to get the shit. Yeah, that's good. Starve

58:10

him out a little bit. Send him a

58:12

really clear and plain email telling him what

58:14

you want and what excited you about it

58:16

and saying that's what I want. The next

58:18

time we hook up, that's what I want.

58:20

And oh, I forgot to say one

58:22

thing. If you are no longer comfortable

58:25

with that, like for some reason that

58:27

shifted for you, let me know that so it's OK

58:29

with me if that's not it is OK with you.

58:31

If it's not something he wants anymore, right? Yeah, you

58:33

just say that it's OK with me. If it's not

58:35

something you want anymore. But I want him to be

58:37

having lazy sex where you guys are like watching a

58:39

movie and then it rolls over and wants to like

58:41

jerk off in your butt. Right. You

58:45

know, like him, like, you know, but

58:48

that's kind of what friends with benefits is in

58:50

a way. I don't know. I've never had one

58:52

of those. You've definitely been jerked. I've definitely let

58:55

someone jerk off on my butt. OK, but you've

58:57

never had a you've never had a friends with

58:59

benefits. I mean, I

59:01

usually just would become their girlfriend.

59:03

Interesting. But I once had this

59:06

isn't quite connected, but it is like because I

59:08

was thinking about how bold it is of your

59:11

friends with benefit man to tell you this fantasy in the

59:13

first place, I'm sure it was a vulnerable thing because you

59:15

don't know how a woman is going to react to that.

59:17

So you might be like, that's fucking disgusting. Get away from

59:19

me. I once hooked up with

59:22

this girl, a burning man. And it was not

59:24

the greatest sex on Earth, but it

59:26

wasn't bad either. But I like

59:28

checked in with her when I got back. I

59:30

was like, that was fun hanging out. But she's

59:32

like, yeah, I'm sorry that the sex wasn't that

59:34

great. The problem is, it's really difficult for me

59:36

to get turned on when I'm not doing brother,

59:39

sister incest play. And

59:42

I was like, that

59:44

is that is a deep that's not

59:46

a classic. No, let's say

59:48

it's a deep kink. That's a deep

59:50

kink. She should have let me know. All right.

59:52

Listen, well, I think you kind of have some

59:54

direction. Yes. Thank

59:57

you very much. It's going to take a little motivation

59:59

from you. you're gonna have to see if he if

1:00:02

he responds and if he doesn't

1:00:04

respond then you have your answer

1:00:06

and you have to maybe go elsewhere for this

1:00:08

and this is what it is yeah like a

1:00:10

dark hour rise to the occasion yeah

1:00:13

he accepted you planted the seed I

1:00:15

know that's fucked up maybe that's his

1:00:17

fantasy is real fantasy is

1:00:20

non consensual consent way

1:00:23

consensual non-consensual inception which

1:00:26

is just making a girl really want it never giving it

1:00:28

to her but this is perfect that he brought it up

1:00:30

because you have every right to kind of press him on

1:00:32

it right give it one last if

1:00:35

there's one thing I can say about

1:00:37

consensual non-consent is don't take no for

1:00:39

an answer and

1:00:43

what's the second part starve him out and then write him a

1:00:46

very plain email not going like would you ever maybe

1:00:48

want to try that again our sex is hard to

1:00:50

talk about but if you just say look I'm turned

1:00:52

on by the idea and I want it I know

1:00:54

it's been a few weeks via Ian

1:00:56

Edwards amazing advice it's been a few weeks but

1:00:59

that's what I'm interested in let me know are

1:01:01

you interested in it let's plan it let's do

1:01:03

it and also let me know if you don't

1:01:05

want to do it anymore and I'll find it

1:01:07

somewhere else thank you Moshe that's great

1:01:09

advice there's one thing I think it's really

1:01:11

funny that you think I have the email

1:01:13

address of my friend well

1:01:15

text him I don't know I send

1:01:18

him a quilt like a piece of

1:01:20

parchment but it'll be flirty and it's cool

1:01:22

and take the risk why not yeah yeah

1:01:24

or talk to him directly about it but

1:01:26

I feel like it'd be so uncomfortable to

1:01:28

really have this I think writing it would

1:01:30

help you know yeah him having a text

1:01:33

of it might make him feel more comfortable to

1:01:36

that's real in another piece of

1:01:38

wisdom him seeing it in writing

1:01:40

I consent to this consensual non-consent

1:01:42

might make any anxiety as about

1:01:44

because I guarantee if that's his

1:01:46

fantasy one of his he

1:01:49

seems like an ethical guy right one

1:01:51

of his worries is probably I like

1:01:54

this it's kinky but the girl that I like

1:01:56

it might say she's into it but actually not

1:01:58

be into it or actually I'm I would make

1:02:00

her feel uncomfortable or I would be pushing

1:02:02

her past her boundaries. Like if you say

1:02:04

really explicitly, hey, get over

1:02:06

here, throw that ski mask on, I'm ready.

1:02:10

I think he'll be, yeah. Yeah, don't make him have to

1:02:12

break in. Yeah. And

1:02:15

don't forget to starve him out, darling.

1:02:17

Yeah. All right. Yes, thank

1:02:19

you, Natasha. Thank you. Good luck. Bye-bye.

1:02:22

You're welcome. Bye. Yeah,

1:02:24

consensual non-consent. What do you have to do to

1:02:26

get girls fake-raped around here? Yeah. What

1:02:31

a world. I hope we've got to do a

1:02:33

trigger warning, I think, on this episode. Well, I

1:02:35

definitely think that I want to keep my voice

1:02:37

like this because my advice seems very, it

1:02:40

just seems like it outweighs everyone else's. You're right.

1:02:43

You do have a gravity to you, for sure.

1:02:45

Gravity tells. Well, let me say this about

1:02:47

Ian. He is one

1:02:49

of the funniest dudes to

1:02:51

watch. If you haven't seen him live. You

1:02:53

are always so funny. Always. A

1:02:56

killer. Yeah, a killer. Thank you. I

1:02:58

appreciate coming from two really funny motherfuckers. Thank

1:03:00

you very much. I appreciate that. We

1:03:04

did it. It was the Endless Honeymoon Podcast,

1:03:06

Ian Edwards Comedy on Instagram, yes? At Ian

1:03:08

Edwards Comic. At Ian Edwards Comic on Instagram.

1:03:10

And you'll put all your tour dates because

1:03:12

I know you have a tour coming up.

1:03:14

Yeah. All right, great. Ian, thank you for

1:03:16

joining us. And we will invite you to

1:03:19

the next Trump Inauguration Party. See you at

1:03:21

the pool party. See you at the pool

1:03:23

party.