0:00

Hey floppers, this is Elliot talking before we get

0:02

into this episode's classic flophouse shenanigans I want to

0:04

make sure you know about some upcoming live events

0:06

We are very excited about on April 27th at

0:09

7 p.m. Eastern We

0:11

are premiering online the professionally shot professionally

0:13

edited online video of our speed to

0:15

live show Dan Stewart And I will

0:17

be there watching the show with you

0:19

Text chatting with the audience throughout the

0:21

entire thing can't make it on the

0:24

27th The video will be

0:26

available to watch at your leisure through May 19th

0:28

to see the trailer and buy tickets go

0:30

to stage pilot comm slash-flop-house

0:35

Dash-speed dash-to if you want to see us in person and

0:37

you live in England remember that on the 24th of May

0:40

We'll be in Oxford doing our first and second

0:42

ever UK live shows in one night 7 p.m.

0:45

We're talking the Avengers 9 p.m We're

0:47

talking spice world two shows one

0:49

night for tickets and more information go

0:52

to flophouse Podcast comm slash events

0:54

now, that's enough live show hype from

0:56

me Let's get to that patented

0:58

flophouse silliness take it away peaches Hello

1:05

everybody welcome to the flophouse mini

1:07

this is our 100th

1:10

mini the flophouse minis or something we

1:12

introduced during I think the

1:14

pandemic and it's a chance for us to do

1:17

Silly things that the flophouse doesn't normally

1:19

do and today I'm joined by my

1:22

regular flophouse co-hosts introduce yourself guys Dan

1:25

McCoy is my name. I'm Stuart Wellington

1:28

and today I thought I'd

1:30

take us on a little memory jaunt

1:32

through Minis past in what

1:34

I call the hundred greatest

1:36

moments of the first hundred

1:38

minis so Starting

1:41

with number hundred. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh Wait

1:44

a second. Sorry. There's somebody there's somebody at the

1:47

door. Hold on. Yeah. Oh Yeah,

1:50

come in. Yeah, okay guys

1:55

Someone's gonna be I should have locked the door because well

1:58

hello there dad and stores.

2:01

Me, Tom Brokaw. Famous newsman. I'll take

2:04

it from here. I don't know, but we've

2:10

got a whole thing. It's our 100th mini. We're really

2:12

going to celebrate it. I think I know why I

2:14

see your dance. I believe you'll find that two weeks

2:16

ago on your very program,

2:18

you promised I could arrive

2:21

and talk about the movie.

2:23

Everyone's talking about part two.

2:27

I did say you could do that. That's

2:29

true. Guys, I apologize that I kind of

2:31

promised that to America's favorite newsman, Tom Brokaw.

2:33

I guess we can save your thing for

2:35

mini 101. I mean,

2:38

I would say no spoilers since I haven't

2:40

gotten around to it yet, but I have

2:42

read the book doing so. I guess I've

2:44

already. Well, Daniel, you're

2:47

in luck because while I

2:49

could talk about the masterful

2:51

way that Danny has

2:55

adapted the greatest novel in human

2:57

history. Some would say not so

2:59

much a novel as a future

3:01

history, a history of past

3:03

events that have not taken place yet.

3:06

I am not going to be talking

3:08

purely about that movie today, although I

3:10

will note that it brings some of

3:12

the weirdness back to Dune, which I

3:15

appreciate it. Yes, Dan, you have something

3:17

to tell me. No, I

3:20

just, you know, I'm just astounded by sort

3:22

of the glottal stops and sort of breath

3:25

pauses that you

3:27

managed to work on this is

3:30

how you have to talk. If

3:32

you want to tell America the

3:34

events of the world. Now I

3:36

first, I wanted to highlight one

3:38

aspect of the film, which is

3:41

Javier Barham's performance as still guard.

3:45

It becomes a character who is

3:47

both a religious believer

3:49

and also a man of his

3:51

tribe of responsibility and also somewhat

3:53

of a funny character. And it

3:56

led me to believe that Javier

3:58

Barham might perfect

4:00

casting for a theatrical event. I

4:03

have been trying to get off

4:05

the ground for some time. You

4:08

may know that I am a little bit

4:10

of a dabbler in the tuneful

4:13

arts, you may say. Well

4:16

in addition to hosting NBC Nightly News

4:18

for quite some time, I also am

4:21

an amateur writer of musicals,

4:24

stage musicals, and I've been

4:27

tinkering with a musical about my

4:29

favorite work of literature, Dune, for

4:31

quite some time. And I think

4:33

that Haravardem would be the perfect

4:35

lead for this musical. It's called

4:37

A Balisette Player on the Sea,

4:39

or some may call it a

4:41

fiddler on the dune. I've

4:43

been looking for a back-race for this play

4:46

for quite some time. It tells through music

4:48

and dance the story of the travails of

4:50

the Doonish people and how

4:52

they must find a homeland for themselves.

4:55

I thought this would be the perfect

4:57

time because your podcast is so incredibly

5:00

successful and is listened to by so

5:02

many power players that I could present

5:04

a sort of backers reading of some

5:07

of the songs from the show so

5:09

that they could hear them and then

5:12

fund my Haravardem starring Broadway

5:14

Run. And like Laser Wolf

5:16

sounds like a Dune character.

5:19

It does indeed. Only

5:21

the mind of Frank Herbert or perhaps

5:24

Solomileghum could come up with a character

5:26

named Laser Wolf. So without

5:28

further ado, I would like to begin

5:30

by introducing the show the way it

5:32

would be introduced on stage. Unless you

5:34

have a... No, no, no, no.

5:37

Would you like to fund the show without

5:39

hearing anything? I wouldn't like to do that.

5:41

This is the Kickstarter video. I'm looking for roughly

5:43

$500,000 for the initial seed funding to then get the further

5:51

several million dollars it costs to put up

5:53

a Broadway show. We could start out of

5:55

town for a lesser cost but I do

5:57

dream of bringing it to the great white...

6:00

way. But it would begin with

6:02

a sort of a sort

6:04

of ballastet sound

6:07

and our main character or one

6:09

of our main characters would emerge.

6:11

This of course I think would be Javier

6:13

Bardem because he'll be maybe the biggest star

6:15

in the cast or if we're lucky the

6:18

smallest star in the cast. You can get

6:20

even bigger names to be in the show

6:22

and he will say a ballastet

6:25

player on the siege sounds

6:27

crazy but you could

6:30

say that each of us in our city

6:32

of Arakine is a ballastet player on the

6:34

siege trying to eke out

6:36

a simple rendition of the prophecy without

6:38

being swallowed by the maw of Shai

6:40

Hallud. Why do we stay here?

6:43

We say because after a lifetime on Arrakis

6:45

we are addicted to air that contains the

6:47

spice melange. How do we keep our

6:49

balance? That I can answer

6:52

in one word because we're

6:54

Fremen and then the music starts up.

6:56

We're Fremen. Our knowledge that the Quizet's

7:09

Hatterach is coming has allowed us to keep

7:11

our balance for many years. Because of the

7:13

prophecy we always know how to do everything.

7:15

How to walk on sand, how to suck

7:18

water out of the bodies of our enemies,

7:20

how to wear clothes. For instance we always

7:22

wear our steel suits. This shows our

7:24

constant devotion to not wasting our urine.

7:27

You may ask when is the

7:29

Quizet's Hatterach coming? I'll tell you

7:32

I don't know. It's a laugh line but

7:34

the Bene Gesserit tell us he is and

7:36

that we better be ready for him and

7:38

then the music starts up again. Bum bum

7:40

who day and night must ride on all

7:42

the sandworms calibrate the thumpers say his daily

7:44

prayers and who has the right as master

7:46

of the siege to speak at the southern

7:49

council. Let's still go. We're

7:51

Fremen. There's a lot more damn. We're

7:59

Fremen. Now more of the cash comes

8:01

out. Who must know the way to spread

8:03

a prophecy? For centuries we've

8:05

been AGs. Who must use the

8:07

voice of silence blasphemy? So

8:10

Paul is free to be the Hatterach. Bum

8:12

bum bum. Reverend Mother, the Mother. Da

8:14

da da da da da da da

8:16

da. We're a friend and then more music.

8:19

At three I lived on Caledon

8:21

as a teen. I came to

8:24

Dune. I hear I'll

8:26

spark a bloody jihad. I hope

8:29

I don't. Madim,

8:31

Madim. Anyway. I

8:33

feel like that's a Ben Fun role. I think you

8:36

didn't bother to do what someone might do when

8:39

they're pitching a thing and bring in like a piano

8:41

player or someone to provide. No, dad, I don't have

8:43

the money. I don't have the fun. That's

8:46

why I'm doing this. The dumb et cetera motion.

8:48

I'm doing this because I don't have the funds

8:50

for those things. If I didn't, I wouldn't have

8:52

to do it. And they go, the ways of

8:54

the Fremmin with health would be as shaky as,

8:57

as, as a ballasset

9:00

player on the roof. Then

9:03

we go to the court of the Patisha Emperor,

9:05

Shaddam IV, where we find that some members of

9:07

the spacing guild yearn for a strong leader who

9:09

can keep them supplied with a precious resource. They

9:12

need to do their work and they begin their

9:14

song. Har Konen, Har

9:16

Konen, bring me some spice. The

9:18

spice, it must flow easy

9:21

and nice. Har Konen, Har

9:23

Konen, I must fold space.

9:26

So bring me some perfect spice. And

9:29

then one of them steps out. Har Konen,

9:31

Har Konen, I'm a third

9:33

stage. Guild navigator in a tank

9:36

like a cage. Bring me

9:38

some spice, so space I can

9:40

roam. Piloting ships for Chome. Now

9:42

Chome isn't in the movies per

9:44

se, but that's the interstellar trading

9:47

organization from the novel. Please, Robin,

9:49

we need spice production. The galactic

9:51

economy can't function if it's ceased.

9:53

If anyone can stop harvest interruptions,

9:55

we assume it's the man who

9:58

they call the beast. Anyway,

10:00

that song goes on for a little bit as well. Dan,

10:03

are you ready to invest? Cause there's

10:05

more music. No, I'm just reflecting on

10:07

quite yet on the how, you know,

10:09

like we just finished the max fund

10:11

drive and it really like punches up

10:13

the importance of, you know, supporting independent media.

10:15

Cause certainly no one else would put this on

10:17

me here. This was a,

10:19

this was a, this was, if I can break character for a moment

10:21

and then I'll get back to the illusion. I

10:23

was the other night I was doing this and I said,

10:25

I was like saying to my wife, I was like it

10:27

writes itself. And she goes, I don't think it does. Right?

10:30

No. You're

10:33

just so deeply steeped in you've

10:36

become the character of Tom

10:38

Brokaw. Well, at the same time being a Jew

10:40

who knows all the words similar on the roof.

10:42

Now, okay. Now, if I could, if

10:45

I could step in, please. And so

10:47

now that the show has set up

10:49

the complicated economics and politics of Frank

10:51

Herbert's visionary world, we must turn to

10:54

its metaphysics. So as a young polo

10:56

tradies is serenaded by Reverend mother Gaius

10:58

Helen Mayim of the British Ezra. As

11:00

she gives him the test, they will

11:03

send him on the path to triumph

11:05

and tragedy, singing to him. Yeah. How

11:08

can I hope to make

11:10

you understand? Don't you

11:12

move your right hand,

11:15

keep it in that small box

11:17

where I will land on your

11:19

neck with my gum jar bar.

11:22

See, if you're human, you'll withstand

11:24

the pain that to

11:27

me makes it plain.

11:30

If you're an animal that

11:32

I disdain, I'll kill with

11:34

my gum jar bar. So

11:36

that's another song it's touching.

11:38

And it's a lullaby. It

11:40

is. That's a, but

11:42

that was got to go Duke Leto, of

11:44

course, is ordered to take control of Arrakis,

11:46

which he recognizes as a trap, but he

11:49

also knows he cannot turn down this order.

11:51

And so he goes into the stables of

11:53

Caledon to think about this contradiction.

11:56

Oh Lord, you want to put my house in

11:58

charge of Arrakis? I realize of

12:00

course it's no shame to control Arrakis, but

12:03

it's no great honor either. If

12:05

we take Arrakis, yeah, but it was a, but

12:07

it was a, but it was a, but it

12:09

was a dune all day long,

12:12

I'd wish we were back home. If

12:14

we take Arrakis man, I

12:16

know I wouldn't like it. Yeah, but it

12:18

would ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever do.

12:21

If I were the beady, beady

12:24

boss of

12:26

yaddle, diddle, diddle, diddle

12:29

dune. I build

12:31

a big tall complex shields

12:34

by the dozens right

12:36

in the center of the sand. Go

12:38

out on inspections riding in the top

12:40

ter plains, did it, did it, did

12:43

it? There'd be just one big harvester

12:45

scooping spice up and into a worm

12:47

falling down because if the spice doesn't

12:49

flow, I know I'll get the blame.

12:51

So that strong Brong goes on for

12:53

a while. I'll stop still banger. Even

12:55

if you make it about, don't. Yeah,

12:57

it's a great, it's a great, it's

12:59

an original. Thank you, Dan. Uh, so

13:01

we'll have one more song before we

13:03

reach the intermission. So I'll just do

13:05

this final song before we get to the

13:07

intermission of the show. The Duke's misgivings, of

13:10

course they are correct. And the Harkonnen is

13:12

backed up by the emperor's personal troops storm

13:14

the Atreides compound killing many. And this is

13:16

a massive dance number that is sung by

13:19

the Sardaukar troops, uh, as they are butchering

13:22

their way through, but also dancing.

13:24

It says to fight, to fight

13:26

Sardaukar, Sardaukar, Sardaukar to

13:29

fight. It's the Atreides

13:31

we want to kill. All of the

13:33

blood will spill. Sarah Darkar to fight.

13:35

God would like us to destroy

13:37

the Duke. And by God, we

13:39

mean the emperor. They worship the

13:41

emperor, you see. To help Dr.

13:44

Yui place the poison tooth will

13:46

leave Lido lying on the floor.

13:48

We killed Duncan Idaho.

13:51

We'll kill all Atreides. We find,

13:54

and if not all their blood is

13:56

shed. At least there'll be lots of

13:58

dead Sarah Darkar. To fight

14:01

and there's a lot of dancing after that and

14:03

it leads of course big to a huge applause

14:05

number people love it They go crazy. I mean,

14:07

I don't think you can dictate that as the

14:09

writer of the I wrote it into the script

14:11

huge applause audio Like

14:15

the AI walk a script that describes how

14:17

the people attending would be enraptured enjoy and

14:20

love it the intermission hits at that point

14:22

Curtain falls people say what's gonna happen in

14:25

in a ballast that on the siege part

14:27

two And I believe you have some sponsors

14:29

that you'd like to Mention in the

14:31

episode as we go to the intermission of

14:33

a ballast on the sea Dan Who

14:37

do we have sponsoring this? You know what? I'll do I'll

14:41

do both of the sponsors and then I'll

14:43

toss it back to our mutual friend Elliott

14:45

for some words about Some live

14:47

shows we get coming up and our

14:49

first sponsor is a Squarespace, which is

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the all-in-one website platform for entrepreneurs entrepreneurs

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of a website or domain.

16:22

We've got some exciting things in

16:24

the flophouse live show universe. We

16:26

are releasing this not long after

16:28

our triumphant return to the Bellhouse

16:30

in Brooklyn. And we have some

16:32

more exciting live things going up.

16:35

First of all, we did

16:37

some shows in Los Angeles last

16:39

year, at the end of last year, that

16:41

were great shows. So great, we felt it

16:43

was unfair to keep them in Los Angeles.

16:45

Only let those people see them. We had

16:48

to let the world see it. We had

16:50

to release these jokes into the wild so

16:52

that everyone could enjoy them. And that's why

16:54

on April 27th, we will be having our

16:56

internet premiere for the video of the flophouse

16:58

sink speed to our speed to live show

17:01

tickets are on sale right now from

17:03

stage pilot. The company that has an

17:05

amazing job of shooting and editing the

17:07

show. It looks so incredibly professional and

17:09

cool. It's like better than stop

17:12

making sense. Probably Dan, right? I

17:14

wouldn't go that far, but I watch these

17:16

things and I'm like, wow, I'm in an

17:18

actual thing. Like look at me. Look at

17:21

me on this real. It's amazing. Like a

17:23

real thing. So tickets are available now. Go

17:25

to flophousepodcast.com/events and you can buy them there.

17:27

The online premiere will be April 27th and

17:29

we will be there in the chat chatting

17:32

with you while the video goes on. We're

17:34

going to watch it with you and chat.

17:36

I'll be watching the video, chatting, painting more

17:38

hammers, you know, I'll be doing that. I'll

17:42

be paying full attention to you, the

17:44

listener and chat. It's also going to

17:46

be exclusive merchandise available for

17:48

purchase. Some of it featuring original art

17:50

by the amazing Xander Cannon, who

17:53

has done some portraits of us and it's

17:55

the shows available for the next three weeks

17:57

after that. So April 27. premieres.

18:00

It's still available to watch for three weeks after

18:02

that. And then it returns to

18:04

the flophouse vault. So please don't miss

18:06

your chance to see the official professional

18:09

video of the flophouse sinks speed two.

18:11

And then we'll be appearing live in

18:13

person in another country on

18:15

another continent on May 24th,

18:17

or as they would say in England, 24 May,

18:20

we'll be in Oxford, England. Very exciting. We're

18:22

gonna be doing two shows in one night

18:25

as part of the St. audio podcast festival,

18:27

7pm the Avengers, not the Marvel one, the

18:29

one with Uma Thurman and Ray Fiennes that's

18:31

based on the British TV show, the bad

18:34

one, then a 9pm spice world, two shows

18:36

one night, the first time we've ever done

18:38

shows in England. We're so excited about it.

18:40

We always want to do a show in

18:43

Great Britain. We're finally doing it.

18:45

Please come see us flophousepodcast.com slash

18:47

events for buying tickets for both of

18:49

these. The flophouse sinks speed to online

18:52

video release premiering April 27th, but you

18:54

don't have to see it then if you can't, but that's one where we'll

18:56

be watching it. And then 24th of

18:58

May in Oxford, England, more live events as

19:00

they come up. But those are the big

19:02

ones coming up. We hope you can join us

19:05

either through your computer or through the power

19:07

of living in Oxford

19:09

or traveling there flophousepodcast.com/events for

19:11

more information and to buy

19:13

tickets. And for those of you

19:16

looking to add more Elliott Kalin to your

19:18

comic book collection, I'm excited to tell you

19:20

that this week, Wednesday, April 10th, if

19:22

you're listening to this the week that

19:24

it comes out, my new comic book

19:26

Hercules number one from dynamite comics is

19:28

coming out and we'll be in stores

19:30

this Wednesday, April 10th. It's the first

19:32

of a projected 12 issue

19:34

series, uh, continuing the adventures of

19:37

Hercules from the Disney film of the same name.

19:39

For those of you who read my Hades mini

19:41

series from dynamite, I think you'll really enjoy this.

19:43

It's still going to be as funny. It's going

19:45

to have a lot more adventure. It's going to

19:48

have a lot more character, more heart, but also

19:50

again, it's going to be funny. Uh, where Hercules

19:52

is going to go on a series

19:54

of a short adventures that interact with

19:57

other characters from Greek mythology that will

19:59

in turn. build into a much larger

20:01

story. It turns out that as Hercules does

20:03

jobs for each of the Greek gods, the

20:05

Greek gods are going missing. They're

20:07

disappearing. Someone's abducting them. Who could it be? What

20:09

possible villain could be doing this? Well, you don't

20:11

have to read the series to find out. I've

20:15

had a lot of fun writing it. I think it's coming out really

20:17

great. I think it looks great. And I

20:19

think you'll enjoy it. It's kind

20:21

of all ages fun in the

20:23

Disney style, but with a keeping

20:25

helping of Greek mythology. And

20:27

I think it's coming out really great. So

20:29

that's April 10th in the comic stores. Hercules

20:31

number one, and it'll be monthly from that

20:34

point on. And I should also mention that

20:36

for any fans in the Los Angeles area

20:38

on April 14th, that's a Sunday. I'm going

20:41

to be at Golden Apple Comics, signing it

20:43

from noon until 2 p.m. I'm gonna be

20:45

signing copies of Hercules number one. Come on

20:47

by, pick one up, say hello, get one

20:49

signed. You know who else is gonna be

20:51

there? Jordan Morris. That's right. Max Funneber Jordan

20:54

Morris is gonna be signing an R2 book

20:56

that he worked on along with a couple

20:58

of other writers. And I believe artists that

21:00

were also involved. I apologize that I don't

21:02

remember their names, but I'll be there April

21:04

14th at Golden Apple Comics in Los Angeles,

21:07

signing from 12 to two. Come on

21:09

by, buy a copy of Hercules number one. If you're not Los

21:11

Angeles, buy a copy anyway. You'll still

21:13

enjoy it. Thanks to everyone

21:15

who contributed during

21:21

this year's Max Funne drive. We truly couldn't

21:23

do what we do without you. With

21:26

the drive in the rear view, it's time

21:28

for another proud tradition, our annual charity

21:30

pin sale. This year, the

21:32

proceeds for the pin sale will

21:35

support VoteRiders, a nonprofit dedicated to

21:37

expanding ballot access nationwide. Members

21:40

at $10 a month or more can

21:42

purchase Max Funne drive pins featuring shows

21:44

from across the network. And

21:46

all members are able to buy our

21:48

network pin design, exclusive to this charity

21:50

sale. The sale is live

21:53

now and it ends Friday, April 12th. For

21:56

more info, head to

21:58

maximumfun.org/pin sale. and thanks

22:00

again for your support. We're

22:30

gonna kill Dracula's ass. Well,

22:32

we're gonna attempt- we haven't recorded all of

22:34

it yet. We will attempt to kill Dracula's

22:36

ass. The Avengers of Versus Dracula. Yes, a

22:38

season I will be running, uh, using the

22:40

D&D 5th Edition of ruleset, and there's two

22:42

episodes out for you to listen to right

22:45

now. We hope you will join us. Same

22:47

bat time, same bat channel. For more fun.

22:50

I see what you did there. Well,

22:52

if you're done with the, uh, promotional part

22:54

of the show, I'd like to continue to

22:56

promote my work. It feels

22:58

like the least you could do is

23:01

to now give me the space to

23:03

finish my backer's presentation of

23:05

a ballast on the sea. I know.

23:07

The least we could do is sort

23:09

of kind of wander it in here.

23:12

I mean, you're not contributing your own

23:14

funding to the show, unless perhaps I'm

23:16

convinced you. So now

23:18

the House of Atreides has fallen

23:20

in Arrakis. Paul and his mother

23:23

have escaped into the desert,

23:25

where the spice, lead, and

23:27

air has already begun triggering

23:29

Paul's late and superpowers, which

23:31

he, of course, sings about

23:34

in the following joyful song

23:36

of visions. Wonder

23:38

of wonders, miracle of miracles.

23:40

I see the future and

23:43

it's bad. Billions of

23:45

corpses all because I want to fight,

23:47

even though I'm such a well-meaning lad.

23:50

Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles. I'll

23:52

have to drink the water of life.

23:55

And if I live, I'll also teach the weirding

23:57

way to these guys who fight with acorns. So

24:00

that's his song where he finally gets into

24:02

his future. Well, labored, but I like it.

24:06

A lot of work went into it. Yes, thank you, Stuart, for recognizing that.

24:09

Word is already spreading around Arrakis, and if you

24:11

think that song was labored, listen to this one.

24:14

Word is already spreading around Arrakis. That's the

24:16

Savior. Fortunate by the bed of Jezred has

24:18

arrived. This only leads to

24:21

more conflict, as we see in

24:23

a prophetic dream that Paul has

24:25

in which he and his mother

24:27

are being congratulated thusly. Ever

24:30

listening on your house, had a wreck, had a

24:32

wreck, your son the desert mouse, had a wreck,

24:34

had a wreck. And

24:37

for his really good, he rode the Shai

24:39

Halud, the Quiz Tats, had a wreck. And

24:41

then his mother says, you

24:43

must have heard from Shilgar,

24:45

there's no Quiz Tats, just

24:47

in a trade, he's Shilgar.

24:50

It's Lido's son Paul. And they argue back

24:52

and forth about that until a crack of

24:54

thunder. Oh no, and they're all worried. Oh,

24:57

what nephew is this? By psychotic

24:59

rageshaken. Could it be? Sure.

25:01

Why not? Who could be

25:03

mistaken? It's Harkonnen's nephew, fresh from the arena

25:05

floor. It's the

25:07

Baron's nephew armed with the Emperor's knife.

25:09

Fade Rutha, Fade Rutha, Fade Rutha, Fade

25:11

Rutha, Fade Rutha. And then of

25:14

course there's a thing like that where there's a

25:16

battle. Yeah. Of

25:19

course, Dune is a sprawling epic. I don't have

25:21

time to tell you the whole story now. And

25:23

to fit it all onto the Broadway stage, we

25:25

have to do some trimming and lose some characters.

25:28

But we, I promise you, we absolutely will make

25:30

time, as they did not in the movie, spoiler

25:32

alert, for the subplot

25:35

in which Mentat Suferhawat mistakenly

25:37

believes Lady Jessica has betrayed

25:39

Duke Lido and so

25:41

joins forces with the Baron Harkonnen in

25:43

order to exact revenge, only to realize

25:45

he has been deceived when he comes

25:48

face to face once more with Paul

25:50

as he sings the touching and moving

25:52

song. little

26:00

boy betray I don't

26:03

remember turning evil

26:06

can a man tat

26:09

go insane fear

26:12

how what fear

26:15

how what to serve

26:17

I was trained one

26:19

man tat following another he

26:22

literally takes the job of

26:24

another man with the computer

26:26

for a brain which

26:28

is not literally true they

26:30

have turned away from computers because of the but

26:33

Larry and jihad and so on so it goes

26:35

I just wanted to give you I'm sorry

26:38

that you're getting this whole movie spoiled so I

26:40

yeah I mean don't worry I sort of you

26:42

know my brain sort of went into a holding

26:44

pattern to protect me holding

26:47

the money we need to get this play off the

26:49

ground and is that going to give it to me

26:52

to hold but that is all I could give to

26:54

you for now unfortunately I just had to give you

26:56

a short taste of the of the play but I

26:58

will let you know I am working on the

27:00

sequel so that whatever balisette player on the

27:02

stage comes out we can also do the

27:05

sequel which would like to hear a little

27:07

bit of the of this song which will

27:09

I'm the title yeah

27:12

so this is this is called

27:14

this is called doing this

27:16

is called this is called

27:19

Marty Deb the demon Messiah of Arrakis Street

27:21

and yeah I think you'll remember me I'll

27:23

just say you a little bit of this

27:25

is more of a work but they're beginning

27:28

where it says attend the tale of

27:30

doing Messiah he raised the stakes and

27:32

raised them higher he fought the houses

27:34

and made them squirm he did it

27:37

all with the spice from a worm

27:39

he lit the universe fire did doing

27:41

Messiah the doing

27:43

Messiah of Arrakis Street

27:46

I love that rhyme I love it

27:48

so much these are

27:50

all original songs I've been living over

27:52

for the past few years past number

27:55

of years since my book the Greatest

27:57

Generation came out this has been the

27:59

total holiday of where my effort

28:01

has been going. And it's just so

28:04

gratifying to me to finally be able to release

28:07

to the public a little bit of what I've

28:09

been working on all this time. So, fellows,

28:12

this is where the rubber meets the road. Do

28:15

you feel like you have heard enough

28:17

to perhaps take part in the theatrical

28:20

event of a century or

28:22

more? Okay, so what are the

28:24

reward tiers? How much do I have

28:26

to give to get a digital copy?

28:30

You would be an investor in the play.

28:32

You would receive profits when the play went

28:34

into profit. Oh, okay. It would

28:36

be almost instantly. Immediately, yeah. I know that

28:38

Hamilton made a lot of money and the

28:41

story of Dune is both better and more

28:43

important than the story of Alexander Hamilton and

28:45

the songs, if I may be a little

28:48

immodest, are a million

28:50

times better. So, you would be

28:52

receiving what they call Boku Bucks,

28:55

from the box, Boku Bio, from the

28:57

theater. A lot of B words, hearts,

28:59

and more. So, again, this is not

29:01

for charity. This is to be an

29:03

investor in the play. Oh, okay. If

29:06

the play fails, you will receive nothing,

29:08

but that seems almost impossible to have

29:10

happen. You look at the

29:12

Dune movies, which are hugely successful, and they don't

29:15

even have songs in them. This

29:17

does feel a little bit like the offer that

29:20

is made to Leito Atreides, where he

29:22

can take over spice production on Arrakis,

29:26

but if you're implying this is all a plan

29:28

for me to

29:32

murder both of you, you would be

29:34

very incorrect. I, well, perhaps when the

29:36

profits roll in, I wouldn't want to

29:38

share them. Maybe I would consider committing

29:41

the ultimate crime. I don't think you should

29:43

say that right into the microphone. And murder.

29:45

It is how I got the NBC Nightly

29:47

News job by murdering my predecessor, whose name

29:50

escapes me now, and I hope is lost

29:52

to the myths of history. You're not recording

29:54

this, are you? Well, yeah,

29:56

this is a big, we were breaking

29:58

some big news here on our podcast. Yeah, the

30:00

big news that a balisette player on

30:03

the siege the dune musical is now

30:05

ready for production As

30:07

soon as it gets the backing that's the big

30:09

story We're in the building is that we're not

30:11

gonna get murdered cuz I just had this fucking

30:13

poison tooth stuck in my head And if I'm

30:15

not gonna get murdered, what's the point? I might

30:17

accidentally break it while I'm chomping down on a

30:19

snack I

30:22

got no idea So

30:24

what's what's what's the minimum investment

30:26

you're asking here Tommy? Well,

30:28

uh, we're Tommy

30:30

also, of course a famous musicals. I'm glad

30:32

you're in the Broadway spirit. I'm

30:35

glad that you are interested I'll take whatever

30:37

you want to give from

30:40

$500,000 all the way up to 500 million

30:43

dollars But the the public hearing effects for

30:45

the for the worms will be quite expensive

30:47

But I think we can pull it off

30:49

the worms will be of course life-size because

30:51

on the Broadway stage You can't fake anything.

30:54

It has to be real So

30:56

it will be a cast of many

30:58

thousands. So we'll need a very big

31:00

stage We might have to do

31:03

it at say a baseball stadium or football

31:05

arena But I

31:07

think we can really make it or

31:09

for haven't in talks with Julie Tamor

31:12

to do a more abstract Version of

31:14

it, but of course those talks broke

31:16

down very quickly when she would refuse

31:19

to answer my first calls Yeah, well,

31:21

you know, I know you can understand this

31:23

Tom But right now all my money is

31:25

tied up in paperback copies of Dune. So

31:28

I'm sure they'll appreciate over time Oh, that

31:30

is one of the safest investments doing you

31:32

ever been worth zero Dan That

31:38

record highs right now, I'm sure This

31:40

would be the time to sell only I think

31:42

the Dunesplosion is just beginning The

31:45

Dune movies leading to of course the cycle of

31:47

Dune Musicals which of

31:49

course will lead to the creation

31:51

of Dune on earth when the United

31:53

States of America because of course becomes

31:55

The United States of Dune and the

31:58

corpse of Frank Herbert is eggs so

32:00

that we may worship it as the

32:02

visionary seer it is. Are

32:05

you on board for that as well? Well,

32:07

wait, speaking of dunesplosions, now that we have

32:09

you here, we've been getting a lot of

32:11

emails asking for your thoughts on this. Of

32:13

course, I'm sure you're familiar with the viral

32:16

sensation of the dune popcorn bucket. Tom, how

32:18

many of those did you obtain and

32:20

did you have to wait in line

32:22

long to get them? The real question

32:24

is, how many hitters have I been

32:26

kicked out of for demanding they sell

32:28

me their entire supply of dune popcorn

32:30

buckets? The answer may surprise

32:33

you. I

32:35

mean, anything one or above would surprise me.

32:37

It is. Then you will be surprised,

32:39

Daniel. I feel

32:42

like that might be cutting into your

32:44

own contribution to the production of your

32:46

musical, financially speaking.

32:48

Well, you never know. Sometimes

32:50

you enter into a sort

32:52

of dune frenzy. Perhaps

32:54

it is if I myself has sipped from

32:56

the water of life and am overwhelmed by

32:59

the visions of the future. And

33:01

I wake up suddenly not

33:03

remembering where I have been

33:05

surrounded by dune sandworm mall

33:07

popcorn buckets. Not perhaps the

33:09

most pleasant sensation when you

33:11

are reaching for some buttery

33:13

theater popcorn to have the

33:15

spiky of shy hallelujah,

33:17

the maker, in

33:21

poking you as if the gom jabar

33:23

and the box in the gom jabar

33:25

test had been combined. And each one

33:28

dipped with poison, these quills, as if

33:30

held to your wrist by the Reverend

33:32

Mother herself, when, like a human, you

33:35

would just want delicious popcorn. And unlike, although

33:37

now that I think of it, an animal

33:39

will also eat popcorn. So perhaps it is

33:41

truly a test of whether the

33:46

popcorn eater is human or not,

33:48

a human driven by the need

33:50

to eat will of course be

33:52

able to ignore the pain, knowing

33:54

that the popcorn reward rests beyond

33:56

it. Or an animal will pull

33:58

its hand back, receiving. of popcorn.

34:01

Well, I think that that yawn from Stewart

34:04

really lets

34:06

us know that maybe it's time to sign

34:08

off. We can work out the financial details.

34:10

I'm so happy to have you on board

34:12

and I invite every other flophouse fan to

34:14

just mail money to me with

34:17

maybe your name attached so I can put you

34:19

on the list of investors, but I hope to

34:21

open up. That was a player on the stage

34:23

this fall on Broadway. So I

34:25

have to get moving. That

34:28

doesn't give you, I mean, you're not

34:30

going to do any sort of out of town

34:32

touch traps. Then I guess if you are still

34:34

in the fundraising stage. Well,

34:37

we'll see. Now that I have the

34:39

main funds on behalf of you fine

34:41

gentlemen, thank you. Yeah. Now I just

34:43

have to put in a call to

34:46

one of our bottom to see if

34:48

he will start soon to be acclaimed.

34:50

Perhaps Pulitzer winning production. I'd like to

34:52

thank everybody for listening and considering donating.

34:55

This show is of course a Max

34:57

Pawn show. Thank you for your

34:59

support during their recent Max Pawn

35:01

drive. It is only thanks to

35:03

your support, your support, listeners of

35:05

the show, that they can continue.

35:07

Thank you so much for listening.

35:09

Please subscribe to the

35:11

podcast or write a good review

35:13

wherever you get your podcasts. I'd also

35:16

like to thank, of course, Alex

35:18

Smith, the producer and editor of the

35:20

show, who I assume will also be

35:22

investing in the Dune franchise.

35:25

If he does not, please feel

35:27

free to tell him to at

35:29

his online handle, Carl Gaudí, under

35:32

which he does his own work.

35:35

Be sure that he knows that the American

35:37

people want him to invest in the Dune

35:39

musical. Daniel Stewart, is

35:41

there anything else I should mention about

35:44

maximum fun or any other things that

35:46

need doing? If you would like to,

35:48

of course, go to maximum

35:50

fun where you can also buy Flauvhouse

35:52

merchandise and also Dune

35:57

now. It's not the drive, but You

36:00

could still, you

36:02

know, just thank you for perhaps purchase

36:04

a jumbo drone and maybe even I

36:06

will read it for you if you

36:09

don't mind me inserting some certainly I'm

36:11

sure you could get a cameo where

36:13

Tom Brokaw shows up. The

36:16

Lobbout is possible and it's possible

36:18

that Tom Brokaw will be available for

36:21

the flophouse. I'm Thomas

36:24

Brokaw. I've been Dan

36:26

McCoy and I'm Stuart Wellington. Bye!

36:31

Goodbye and good dune.