0:00

Fear is a motivator in the

0:02

micro short term. It is the most

0:04

disgusting weapon that a human can use.

0:06

If you don't know how to solve

0:09

this, figure it out. I

0:13

think about leadership from this concept of gray,

0:15

not black or white. Most leaders are

0:18

gonna be either black or white. It's not

0:20

empire of honey, it's honey empire. Nothing works

0:23

unless there's humanity. The number one

0:25

job of a leader is to

0:27

eliminate fear. The reason we call it the

0:29

honey empire, when we talk about leadership, is

0:31

you get more out of honey than vinegar.

0:33

You may get short term wins in vinegar,

0:35

but you will not get sustained wins with

0:38

vinegar. Then there's the opposite side, the me.

0:40

That everything's bubble gum and rainbows and you're putting

0:42

it all on you, but you're quietly building resentment. You

0:45

have to work on what I've worked on for the

0:47

last five years, which is the

0:49

ability to deliver what we call

0:51

kind candor. But I realized that

0:53

candor, that corporations

0:55

love to stand up, was

0:58

really for a lot of people, an excuse

1:00

to be mean. An excuse to

1:03

control someone that they're managing so

1:05

that they don't propel. You know

1:07

how much human psychology goes into a manager

1:10

that consciously knows the person they're managing

1:12

is more talented than them? There's

1:14

a subconscious repression going on there because

1:16

they don't want it to happen. So

1:19

candor all of a sudden became manipulation.

1:23

So candor I always really struggled with. Somehow,

1:25

someway, because I was working on

1:28

myself, I sold myself on the

1:30

concept of this term called kind

1:32

candor. And it's transformed our

1:34

company. Because what was happening

1:36

for us was, you

1:38

know, I'm the CEO of the company, I'm the founder of the company, so

1:41

you're listening to me for 10 minutes here. I think you're getting

1:43

a sense of how we roll. The problem

1:45

was we were on the opposite side.

1:47

We created unlimited entitlement. If nobody's

1:49

getting any critical feedback and nobody's allowed to say

1:51

anything to anybody, it went the other way. We

1:54

were two over here. I genuinely believe that every

1:56

single thing at VaynerX, all 1900 people, that

1:59

every single thing thing that isn't working

2:01

is 100% my fault. I

2:05

really believe that's leadership. Here's why. I

2:07

could be mad at project management. My

2:09

hired the head of product management. The

2:11

COO did, my hired the COO. Like

2:15

you have to fall in love

2:17

with accountability if you have any interest

2:19

in leadership. You have to fall

2:21

in love with it. And most people

2:23

don't want it, especially now. Pop

2:26

culture right now is in love with

2:28

pointing fingers. Everything's about

2:30

pointing fingers. Most

2:33

of us here looking around, we all

2:35

now are deep in our understanding of

2:37

all the things our parents fucked up

2:39

on. That

2:43

is like, say right, like we are

2:46

in deep knowledge of every thought

2:48

we have about mom and dad right now. My

2:50

question is like when does that stop? Cool,

2:55

great, agreed. Inconceivable that someone is

2:58

sitting here that doesn't have thoughts

3:00

about that. My question

3:02

is at what age do you

3:04

take control and fix it? For

3:07

you. And that's how

3:09

I think about leadership. I think there's

3:11

such an opportunity if we just get

3:13

real about it and find that middle. There's

3:17

incredible happiness

3:19

that comes along with 100%

3:22

accountability. Because you feel like you're

3:24

in control. All of it is stemming

3:26

on the same thing. If you don't feel like you're in

3:28

control as a human being, you

3:31

are unhappy. The leadership of

3:33

your own self starts

3:36

to become the practice that you can deploy for others.

3:38

Every single thing I'm disappointed with, my

3:40

default in my brain goes into how

3:42

did I not put this person in

3:44

a position to succeed so that is

3:46

now leading to the thing I'm frustrated about. What didn't

3:49

I do? Your own pain

3:51

and frustration, you're deploying on others. So

3:55

that's what you're bringing to the media and the energy.

3:58

We just have to find a way to get all that. Pointed

4:00

out. You've got to

4:02

get it out. That's all it ever is. It's

4:04

just beer. And fear has

4:06

been weaponized of skill in society

4:09

and so become normalized. subconsciously. life

4:11

is about interpretation. Top

4:13

will not work for leadership in

4:16

will do actually give a fuck

4:18

about people. Do. You.

4:21

For his everything that you're doing

4:23

completely predicated on the short term

4:25

monetary needs you have for the

4:27

expenses. You've. Created for yourself. That

4:30

the second question about leadership. Role.

4:38

And I think leadership. Have

4:40

to really have a. Serious conversation

4:43

of human who's not a

4:45

slang word that are starting

4:47

to emerge. The

4:50

actual Crucible Rat.