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savings and more inspiring flavors. Maybe

1:27

we should all say

1:30

something about ourselves. I'll go first.

1:33

In the gate, I saw

1:35

my brother. My brother died when

1:37

I was very young. I'm

1:39

left wondering if it was just

1:41

a cruel trick or whether he

1:43

still lives. And Zephyr.

1:46

And everyone looks at Zephyr. What? I

1:48

don't know why the gate

1:51

opened for me. It was wrong.

1:54

I've gone so far backwards.

1:57

I have nothing now. No, but... Here

2:00

are roughly pushes Nearby has

2:02

a graphic without us. In

2:05

a. Purchase and

2:08

is Harry. Heifers her

2:10

the homies russian. I

2:13

think this might be yours

2:16

for your virtual currencies. Now.

3:03

Due to the returns and silver go

3:06

the bathroom and you'll get your phone

3:08

and then of us is only like

3:10

twist your camera and start filming yourself

3:12

playing. Up

3:14

to the happens all the felt slightly

3:16

all the time is how i do

3:18

know is in this is. How

3:22

could I monitors this? Only

3:25

going to face buccaneer like how do as well. So

3:27

many. Of these anymore. So

3:29

I believe this has. Faith. Alive suddenly

3:31

You're like, how do I stop someone.

3:33

Arts Why a very well I

3:35

don't know if you are lives

3:37

known as you like. I did though

3:40

that mixes like an old person on

3:42

a phone is. Sometimes I accidently do

3:44

the audio message recording like in an

3:46

open text messages of and I'll realize

3:48

I have accidentally recorded like three minutes

3:50

of a conversation I've had with someone

3:52

in the world said I almost said

3:54

to it's probably a random person that

3:56

I've texted like three times. About work or

3:58

something yard. You know, I do know. That's what

4:00

I'm saying. Speech to text. I

4:02

don't even know how it starts. I'll say that

4:04

I'll look down on my phone and it's

4:07

transcribed like five minutes of whatever

4:09

TV show I'm watching. I

4:12

only do voice to text. I know. I'm

4:15

always the person just talking. But sometimes the

4:17

new app, you leave it on and so

4:19

I'll be talking about it suddenly. Hey, come

4:21

on, guys! Guys, guys, guys, right now! And

4:24

it's all me just yelling. Words

4:26

to wise, everybody. If you're out with skaters or

4:29

skaters sitting here in Troy. Watch what you say. Stay

4:31

out of the bathroom. Are you wearing a wire? Kind

4:33

of, I guess. We're all kind of wearing a wire

4:36

now. Accidentally.

4:41

Would you wrap somebody out like

4:43

wear a wire and wrap somebody? I'm

4:46

wearing a freaking wire, man. Yeah, I'm

4:48

not a snitch. What if

4:50

it meant saving the world? Yeah, I'm like, what did

4:52

they do, though? What if it meant... Do

4:54

they stop? You can't turn this into a trolley car

4:56

problem. Why am I wearing the trolley car? I

4:59

don't know what that is. The trolley car? You know what it

5:01

is. I don't run over

5:04

one person or you save five people, you know?

5:06

Tell me more. Stop it. You're

5:09

being patronizing. Maybe someone in the

5:11

audience doesn't know. Also patronizing. Fair

5:13

enough. Don't tell them. Okay,

5:16

so the problem is, it's that same thing. If

5:18

you are driving the trolley car, do you switch

5:20

the track from the trolley car hitting one

5:22

person who's stuck on the track or

5:24

five people? So do you save one person at the

5:26

risk of killing one person? So it's already going to

5:28

kill this one person. The only question is, do you

5:31

switch it to kill five people? No, no, no. It's

5:33

already going to kill five people. Do you switch it

5:35

to kill one person? If you do nothing, five people

5:37

will die. If you actively do something, you will kill

5:39

one person. Is the one person someone you like? And

5:41

are the five people... All trainers. They're

5:44

all... Are they physically attracted? Serial killers,

5:46

yes. They're all hot. Who is most

5:48

likely to have sex with me afterwards?

5:50

They're all... All of them. Super hot.

5:52

All six people. The trolley truck. This

5:54

is getting interesting. All right, now

5:56

I like this problem. The conductor of the

5:59

trolley car is awesome. smoking hot and they all

6:01

say in unison, we will all have sex with you

6:03

if we live. Are the people

6:05

on the trolley car in danger? They're just going on

6:07

the trolley car. They're usually at the runaway trolley car.

6:09

You're not on the car yourself. What happened to the

6:11

hot trolley car? You're the switch operator. You're the switch

6:13

operator. You just imagined the hot trolley car driver? Right,

6:16

so it's the two of us and we're on this

6:18

trolley. And I look back at Nicole Kidman. Who's

6:20

driving the trolley car? They're all Nicole Kidman. They're all Nicole

6:22

Kidman. This is a cute little trolley outfit. She's on her

6:25

way to the movie theater. She's like, She's on her way

6:27

to A.O.K.A. What kind of a place to imagine? We

6:30

love this place from that. We say out

6:32

of control, Charlie trains to this place to

6:34

imagine. And I say, do

6:36

you want to see a cool video of me peeing? And

6:40

while you're watching the video, you kill five

6:42

people. That's what it gets you into. That's

6:45

my answer. There

6:47

you go. The trolley problem solved. And now I

6:49

know what the trolley problem. I didn't know before.

6:52

Yep. Nicole Kidman is very essential.

6:54

Now who's wearing a wire? Nicole Kidman. Nicole

6:56

Kidman. She's wearing a wire. It's Nicole Kidman.

6:58

It's Nicole Kidman. She's wearing a whole car.

7:00

She's wearing a whole car. And it's you

7:02

peeing. Well, I think that the... It's

7:05

you peeing. Da da

7:07

da. This

7:11

story got out of hand. Yeah. It's

7:13

very restart. It's so off the rails. I

7:16

imagine this is happening in San Francisco too,

7:18

because they have trolleys. That's right. Kate,

7:23

don't encourage me. I love

7:25

stupid shit. Stupid joke. San Francisco,

7:27

1942. Young

7:29

Nicole Kidman. Would

7:32

you wear a wire? Whitey

7:34

Bulger wants you to wear a wire. Whitey

7:37

Bulger did wear a wire. Whitey Bulger did wear a wire. Would

7:39

you wear the five wire? I'll never be like you, Whitey.

7:44

I would probably wear the wire. I'll

7:51

never be like you, Whitey. People

7:56

will be like, what is going on?

8:00

I imagine. He wants to convict Pedro Guerrero. Whitey

8:02

Ford wants to wear a wire. It'd be pretty cool to wear a

8:04

wire, but you are putting your

8:06

life in your hands. Yeah.

8:15

Do you receive The Spanish Prisoner? Oh, it's

8:18

been so many years. Is that a movie? Yeah.

8:22

Campbell Scott and Steve Martin. Steve Martin, yeah.

8:24

Steve Martin is great in that. And

8:26

they go into Central Park and he's waiting for

8:29

the, I don't want to ruin the thing, but

8:31

the FBI is down there and it's Felicity Huffman.

8:34

Oh. Fucking Hal Bundy. What's

8:36

his name? I don't know. I don't know. They're

8:39

like the FBI. So they've got to put a

8:41

wire on him. He's supposed to go spy on the guy. He's

8:44

like, hey, it's a secret. I don't want to know. Great

8:47

line. Let me ask you this. I

8:50

had a thought and I wanted to continue it. Sorry. I'm

8:53

whitey balls are being like, Hey, where's the family? I

8:59

forgot what I was going to say. Talk

9:02

about wires, trolleys, Nicole

9:05

Kidman, peeing, filming yourself, peeing, filming

9:07

yourself, peing, recording yourself, wearing a

9:09

wire. Oh, would you ever want

9:11

to go on the witness protection team? I'm not sure. I'm

9:14

not sure. I'm not sure. I'm

9:16

not sure. Would you ever want

9:18

to go on the witness protection program? Yeah. Yeah.

9:22

Sure. If that was your only option, would you do it?

9:24

I mean, I would put it on the option. I have a choice. Maybe

9:27

it's because I don't understand it that fully. Do

9:29

they just fully get you a new

9:31

identity and relocate you? Or do you have

9:33

to like stay low key? Like, do you

9:35

have to stay in? I think you have to

9:37

stay low. I think it's the witness suppression program. I don't

9:40

think they like move you to Arizona and you can just

9:42

bounce around. Well, you couldn't go out and try to get

9:44

famous. This is heavy. You just keep

9:46

calling into Howard Stern or whatever? Yeah, he just kept,

9:48

yeah. It's like, yeah, I'm in Arizona. I'm a Tempe.

9:51

Yeah. So what are they going to do? Do they

9:53

find the kimber? No, you don't even see. No, no.

9:56

It's kind of a... Yeah. Of

9:58

non-mob related problems. So they Would have... Like

10:00

they give you a new identity that should be better.

10:02

Do a lot to. Help you? Yeah, the. Can

10:04

you like leave the country and go on vacation?

10:06

Can you? or do they keep tabs. On the

10:08

like when you order closely monitored like.

10:11

See, that's I don't know. I don't know if I could do that.

10:13

Community will be of the alternative Out

10:15

of there are other your bernard see

10:17

Josie Warner wire and you just informed

10:19

on the mob She noted that Iran

10:21

for to witness protection and your life

10:23

and I go to can tune. Is

10:26

that even living how it goes nuts? And I'm

10:28

saying. To. See: The Simpsons Are they

10:31

going to witness protection on where the had that has to

10:33

be people? Other,

10:37

I'm going to say hello Mr.

10:39

Thompson, you're mile a nod. Her

10:42

sounding the real his. Business

10:46

Magazine or them and. Our.

10:52

Out his guts of us. As

10:54

soon as a new identity with the telephone. They

10:56

were right adding would have it's perks. Yeah,

10:59

By. Coming middle of my like head on over

11:01

here. You get to start over and over New

11:03

you have to look different to s I'm assuming

11:05

you'd have to like develop a new style. Who.

11:09

You know this is like that forced

11:11

mid life make over the and you

11:13

can just do the make over both

11:15

of us now so you don't observe

11:17

and form on anyone. I just returned

11:19

from a program. If you happen to inform

11:21

on someone, then you get a make over like

11:23

some people think, if I'm starting over in their

11:26

thirties and they're like god there's. Were like sorry

11:28

and let the such a new want to start

11:30

over. Know I did that are at is my

11:32

thirties. Alexander started. Are you in the with? Other

11:37

of weird I know. And the girl

11:39

had asked, oh, I'm not in the witness

11:41

protection program. I just started Meles of Own.

11:43

I was thirty, started your life or

11:46

remember like not really I don't know anything about

11:48

syria or and others that were little site at.

11:50

Shootings. Your hair. I.

11:52

Did I did see my hair and an outlaw his

11:55

hands on. I taught math. He's always like you know

11:57

what a you Every time he told me about your

11:59

best series reveal that. Sorry, it's crazy.

12:01

Can you show me a copy of your birth certificate? Right

12:05

now. Not right now. On

12:08

air now? I swear I was born.

12:11

I swear that's why. I

12:14

hear by a test that I was born. I'm

12:16

pretty sure I was, I don't know. Wait a

12:18

minute, this is expired. No, I'm nervous. Under penalty

12:20

of perjury, I do a test that I was

12:22

born. This would be something interesting though, if you're

12:24

like, I just wanna start my life over, but

12:27

it sounds exhausting. Do something against

12:29

a criminal family and then be forced into

12:31

witness protection and the government pays for it.

12:33

And you get to start over, new hair,

12:35

new life, new house. I think they sent you over the

12:37

house. You can't work in your

12:39

shows and field. You'd have to get a new

12:42

field. That seems like a lot of work to

12:44

ingratiate yourself to a mafia family enough that they

12:46

would divulge secrets to you which you could then

12:48

share with the government and then get it. That's

12:50

the easy part. That's the easy part. If you

12:52

just pay them, it's like, hey, could I pay

12:54

you $5,000? You put me in

12:56

the Whitmer's Protection Program. It's like, why?

12:58

What'd you do? It's like, nothing, I just want a

13:00

makeover. That's how they expand their business. They start offering

13:02

it as a service you can pay for. Yeah, right.

13:05

Call up the federal marshal so I'm gonna be leaving

13:07

money on the table. Yeah, that's foolish not to do

13:09

it. Yeah. Would you charge for something like that? It

13:12

is so expensive. People

13:15

don't just go into the Whitmer's Protection Program. That's

13:17

like in Breaking Bad. It is extremely rare and

13:20

they only do it when they get a

13:22

massive benefit. But if you're doing it just for

13:24

the makeover and that's the business, what would

13:26

you charge for that business? and

13:30

you were just your... You made someone a

13:32

Whitmer's Protection Program. A Whitmer's protection program. Life

13:34

do over new identity so it's black mark,

13:36

it's like 50 grand, right? This

13:39

is exactly what he does. This is exactly what

13:41

he does. Just for the service, not for

13:43

the thing. Yeah, just for the identity change. Yeah,

13:45

100 grand. This is exactly what happens in

13:47

Breaking Bad. It's a guy who runs us, what's

13:49

his name? Yeah, love that

13:51

actor. That actor, yeah. Forget his name. For

13:55

Robert, Bob Forster. And

13:58

yeah, he runs the service and you call... Call them

14:00

up, code word, and I think it's like

14:02

$250,000. You get a new

14:04

identity. Yeah, a whole new identity, he sets you

14:06

up and whatever. Here's what I counteroffer

14:08

the witness protection program. This is the last thing I'll say

14:10

about it. Yeah. They're like, you did a

14:12

great job, thank you for your service. We're

14:14

gonna put you in the witness protection program. And I say,

14:17

counteroffer, make me a CIA spy.

14:21

Because I'm already, I need a

14:23

job. Yeah. Make me a

14:26

spy. I have to change my identity. No, I wanna say

14:28

real quick, are we pretending it's you? Okay.

14:32

It's me in the scenario. They would say no.

14:37

I'm just sure you watch and get just

14:40

like that, like make me a spy.

14:44

Do I get a makeover if I become a spy? Do

14:46

I get that? I'm saving them money. When

14:48

you really think about it, they have to give me a

14:50

makeover anyway and a new identity. They're like, fine. Make

14:52

me a spy. Is there any very

14:55

basic math involved? Probably

14:58

not. They probably have calculators. They have

15:00

calculators. Yeah, thank you. Do you guys

15:02

know anyone today? How

15:04

would I? No. I know a

15:07

friend of a friend all of a sudden, like he

15:09

did like, I'm in my favorite area of

15:11

getting a new career and went into the State Department. Oh

15:13

yeah. He did the State Department training program and we were

15:15

all like. Actually,

15:20

my dad's best friends, I

15:22

know he did work for the CIA.

15:24

He was like, he's

15:27

long passed away, but he would

15:29

go, he would spend a lot of

15:31

business trips to Latin America and he

15:33

was measuring the length of airfields like

15:35

down there, like while he was there.

15:38

There was a friend of mine's dad

15:40

growing up who allegedly worked at a

15:42

large New York based bank,

15:45

curiously around a lot of South American countries when

15:47

things were happening and we were all like, even

15:49

his son was like, you guys

15:52

think my dad's in the CIA? And we

15:54

were like, yeah. We do think that.

15:56

We had a friend of a friend who had an area

15:58

code that like we were exchanging numbers. or

16:00

something and another friend was like, oh, you

16:03

have this area code that, you know, my

16:05

uncle or whatever has that. That's like, you

16:07

know, the government, like the area code

16:09

that you get. She was like, what do you mean? And

16:12

the friend was like, well, what are your parents

16:14

do? And she was like, Oh, well, my dad works

16:16

like, I don't know, like

16:18

in the government, you know, like does something,

16:20

all of us were like, your

16:22

dad is in the CIA, like your dad is definitely in the,

16:24

and she was like, no, we

16:26

just travel a lot. And we move around a

16:28

lot and like, and we all were like,

16:30

and he keeps all the money in

16:32

cash. We've

16:35

only been to like three or four coups. The

16:38

area code 911. No, that would

16:41

be a really clear.

16:43

All the code 911.

16:46

That's the name of my movie. That's

16:49

the name of your biopic. Yeah. Opening line.

16:51

It's just me. You're

16:56

opening scene as you filming yourself being don't

17:01

cry. Try calling me. You're getting trouble.

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My sweating. Shout out

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19:45

me playing found me. He had

19:47

Norris foundry. Want to kill a

19:49

character? Get some Troy dice. They

19:52

only roll 17 or some of ours. You want to

19:56

kill your own character. You're doing not really.

19:58

Well, my whole thing. Roll

20:01

to hit, roll a d6, what's the difference? What's

20:04

the difference? I

20:09

just rolled a 5. I rolled a 3. Are

20:13

you serious? Wow, it really was. It

20:15

worked. The d6 theory. And a 16, so

20:17

it's not all in the die. It's mostly in

20:19

our hands. Let's talk about

20:21

last week's episode. That was fun. Fun little

20:24

flash. We

20:26

talked about it off camera before, like, I don't think

20:29

we ever said it on camera. Like, we should do

20:31

an episode that goes back. And

20:33

I was like, eh, I kind of poo-pooed it.

20:35

Because it sounds like a lot of work. Is

20:37

this someone else's idea? Yeah,

20:40

it doesn't sound like a good idea. But then

20:42

you regurgitated it and you're like... But then Troy,

20:44

last episode, you had an amazing idea. I

20:46

was like... Very clever. Follow me

20:48

on this. Well,

20:51

I just thought with two people that died from the original party, what

20:53

better time to go back and see them

20:56

once more, interact. And then

20:58

while we're there, why not check in with everybody else and

21:00

really get back to the why this is

21:02

important. Because, you know, Joe

21:04

and I were talking about this off camera a

21:06

little bit. This adventure, very unlike Giant

21:09

Slayer, for example. Like, Giant Slayer, end of episode

21:11

one, a really cool guy

21:13

dies. He seemed like a nice guy.

21:15

Now it's a murder mystery. There is

21:17

a very obvious

21:20

through line here. We've got to solve this murder.

21:23

Of this guy that we know and like,

21:25

who's dead in front of us. There's

21:27

his body. In our hotel. Right

21:30

in our own hotel. Right.

21:33

Just a couple doors down. We should figure this

21:35

out. And that leads to another thing, to another

21:37

thing, to another thing. A media

21:39

with Gatewalkers, the inciting event happens off stage.

21:42

Right. And now you're months into already

21:44

having relationship. And the missing

21:46

moment, as important as it is... That's

21:49

not immediate. It's not immediate. Yeah.

21:52

And you also don't know what happened. So you're like, not only... Right.

21:55

You're chasing an invisible enemy. Right.

21:58

I think I even had Riddleson say something.

22:00

of like this invisible problem.

22:02

And that's hard to kind of wrap your

22:04

head around. So then you go, you're following

22:06

a lead into seven arches. Oh, it's fake

22:09

arches. Go to the real arches. Now

22:11

you're in the Shadowlands and you're fighting Konepo.

22:13

So now, was he behind us? Nope.

22:16

Now you're transported somewhere. Completely unrelated. We were

22:18

just doing them a solid. For

22:21

real. Those oak

22:24

stewards owe us cash money. Cash

22:26

money. For just like doing their

22:28

shit for them. Not only did

22:30

we get rid of Bolon, but we got rid of

22:32

Konepo. Yeah. Welcome. Yeah,

22:34

save the world for them. Because they couldn't keep

22:36

their key in their pants. Yeah. And

22:39

now we have the key. And now

22:41

you have the key. In our pants. In your

22:43

pants. In your pants. You

22:48

can't tell, we're a little punchy. Well, it's

22:50

important to go back and remember why. And

22:53

in every little instance there, you got to

22:56

see a little bit more as to what

22:58

the reasoning is behind this. Even Talitha and

23:00

Lucky who are no longer with us, getting

23:02

to know why this was important to them,

23:05

holds weight because there's no reason that their

23:07

story can't continue to be told throughout

23:10

the course of this pod. But

23:12

we end last week with all

23:14

of you mourning around the campfire.

23:18

Everyone sort of talking about their memories

23:20

of Talitha. I guess further

23:23

galvanizing the group a little bit. Russell

23:26

in the bushes and a

23:28

gentleman emerges. A

23:31

handsome, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot word.

23:35

Scared fellow. Hot, scarred, sexy

23:37

dude. Tatted, aw. Oh, cat,

23:39

I forgot, I wrote a hot guy comes

23:42

out of the woods with tattoos. And a

23:44

little salt and pepper. Yeah, hung

23:46

like a unicorn. Oh.

23:48

Wait a minute. I don't think we saw. That's

23:50

not specified. I think it's implied. I'm checking my

23:53

notes. Look at my notes here. I know it's

23:55

don't say anything about that. Yeah, it's

23:57

implied. Okay. Well,

24:00

I'm stuck. I'm kind of a brash. And

24:06

holding Zephyr's bow. Oh my

24:08

god! I forgot. What is

24:10

going on with this motherfucker?

24:15

Let's go back in time. Oh,

24:17

shit. Another two hours of

24:19

flashback? Yes. Okay. This is what we're

24:21

doing today. See

24:26

a tiny village come into view

24:29

somewhere on the northern shore

24:31

of Lake and Carthan. You're

24:33

familiar with Galarian geography. It's

24:36

a smattering of huts. The

24:38

occasional shack. The

24:41

most opulent residence in this

24:43

scene is a two-room timber

24:45

house. But everything else is

24:47

small, handmade, hardscrabble.

24:50

This isn't the kind of place that sees

24:52

many travelers most of the

24:55

time. But right now, a group

24:58

about a dozen college students,

25:00

most in their very late teens

25:02

or early twenties, most

25:04

a bit more finely dressed than they

25:07

should be, perhaps, are spread out throughout

25:09

the village, talking with the inhabitants. You

25:12

can see now that many of the

25:14

huts and shacks and other buildings have

25:17

been ravaged, foreign into. The

25:20

villagers look exhausted,

25:22

traumatized. Many of them are

25:25

crying. The young people scribble

25:27

notes as the villagers talk.

25:31

Maybe we catch little snippets of what they're saying.

25:33

Oh, is it night they come? I

25:35

told them, don't go out there on a goat. We

25:37

can replace. We can't replace you. We

25:40

haven't slept with the livestock inside with us. The

25:42

only thing we can think to do. Eventually,

25:45

the students wrap up.

25:48

Their conversations. Thank

25:50

the villagers that they've been talking

25:52

to and riffed

25:55

over to hang together by the

25:57

shores of the lake. Did

26:02

you all talk to the one that said

26:04

it was a Moroy attack? We

26:08

are in Ustilov, but it's going to be on the

26:10

test. It's Barnes. Who

26:13

knows what the test will even be. Maybe

26:15

he'll just have us tell a story about how

26:17

our dogs died and if we cry we get

26:19

an A. You're an

26:22

asshole. Am I wrong? It's

26:24

like, was. You okay? You

26:27

okay? Why do you have a completely different accent

26:30

for the rest of us? I

26:32

was really trying to get into the Scottish, but it's

26:34

hard when you have like two words. Why? It's

26:37

like... Are you an exchange student from the

26:39

other places? I tried to

26:42

be really nice and ignore your nonsense.

26:44

What? I'm

26:46

trying to spy, are you? You can't

26:48

be in the studio! You should

26:50

be doing stuff like this. I like better

26:53

idea, FBI. How

26:55

about you put me in the CIA?

26:58

You're a spy infiltrating the normal world.

27:06

What are you working for? Let

27:09

me do an accent! Let

27:12

me do an accent. I

27:14

haven't prepared for it at all. It was really

27:16

hard to get into. Okay.

27:19

His lot. Fuck. Man.

27:21

Now we lost the whole rhythm of the

27:23

scene. Remember what we

27:25

are. We're in Ustala. Alright, we're in Ustala. Okay,

27:28

I'll just do no accent. Maybe

27:30

he'll just tell a story about how our dogs

27:32

died and if we cry, we get an A.

27:35

You're an asshole. Am I wrong? His

27:38

like, wife, right? Didn't

27:40

his wife get murdered by someone?

27:43

Oh! So that's why

27:46

you're in love with him. His dead wife?

27:48

Shut up. I actually heard

27:50

it was his boyfriend. I actually heard both. Where

27:53

is Barnes? He's still talking

27:55

to that old man over there. Points.

27:58

And they all glance back. standing

28:00

outside of a small hut

28:02

whose thatched roof has been

28:05

torn open. Talking

28:08

with an old man whose face is crusted

28:10

with old blood is the

28:12

man that we just met at the end

28:14

of last week's episode, and

28:16

the beginning of last week's episode. Man

28:19

by the name of Theomicus

28:22

Barnes. Theomicus?

28:26

Theomicus. Theomicus.

28:30

That's a good name. Hot, good Greek name.

28:33

It's solid Greek slash Irish

28:35

name. Fuck bakobadzil.

28:38

I knew it. I knew

28:40

it bakobadzil. It's

28:43

a lot of Keith Smith. Oh no, I saw

28:45

a bakobadzil. Keith Smith. Oh

28:49

wow. We're on fire. Musaka

28:51

Mitchell. They can't hear. Hahahaha.

28:59

Talking to the old man with the blood of his face.

29:01

They can't hear what he's saying, but the old man is

29:03

crying. And Barnes face

29:05

is crossed with concern. He

29:07

puts a hand on the old man's shoulder.

29:10

Gives an emphatic nod.

29:13

Here we go. Another crier. At

29:15

that moment Barnes seems

29:18

to see them. He flashes

29:20

them. An incredulous look.

29:24

He thinks to himself, what are they doing down there? Gestures

29:27

for them to come join him. I

29:29

think he wants us to come over there and join him. Oh,

29:32

okay. Wait, wait.

29:34

Not too fast. He'll give us more homework.

29:37

Barnes glances up at the group of

29:39

students again. His face makes it clear.

29:42

Get your asses up here now. I think we

29:44

better go over there now. Together

29:46

and the students all make their way to Barnes.

29:49

And the old man that he's talking

29:51

to is still crying. Take your

29:53

time. Take your time. I thought

29:55

it was the wind. But my

29:57

wife, she knew, she knew. She

29:59

said... She grabbed a knife from

30:01

the stove. I was slow. I had

30:03

to move as fast as I used

30:05

to. By the time

30:07

I got my hands on the rake, I

30:10

could hear it screaming. Sounds like a person

30:12

screaming. Screaming like they would do

30:14

it apart. The

30:16

screaming sound is more

30:18

consistent with a young uncag than an

30:20

adult. Burns eyes

30:22

flash at the insipid young. He

30:27

turns his attention back to the old man.

30:30

She didn't have a chance to scream. It

30:32

was on her, ripping her apart. I stood

30:34

there with the raking of my hands, just

30:37

watched like a coward. I didn't even have

30:39

doubt. He

30:41

just breaks down, sobbing. Come down. Come

30:44

down. It's not your fault, mate. It's nothing you could have done.

30:46

The old man's still sobbing. Barnes just nods

30:48

at him. He'll eat you alive, these feelings. They're yours to have.

30:50

But they're yours to have. He'll eat you alive,

30:53

these feelings. They're yours to have.

30:55

But take it from someone who knows he'll eat

30:57

you alive. He's got children now?

31:01

You telling us what you saw. This is good. This

31:04

helps us out. You know how to stop them. Love

31:06

them next time. Do some good. That's

31:08

what you're doing. You'll find these masses the best way you

31:10

can. Old man

31:13

nods, tearfully squeezes

31:15

Barnes' hands. Thank

31:19

you, sir. Thank you. They thank

31:21

the man and head off.

31:24

As they're walking, the malty

31:26

student rushes over to catch up

31:28

with Barnes. Uh, excuse me,

31:31

Professor. Barnes like whirls on

31:33

him. Eyes ablaze. Don't you ever try to tell

31:35

these people they're wrong about what they remember. But

31:40

he was wrong. No, he wasn't. It's

31:42

obviously an adult onc- Oh, so you've encountered

31:44

a lot of adult onc-ing in your time

31:46

then. No.

31:49

You don't know the first thing about what these people

31:51

have been through. They've lost people. They've lost the people

31:53

they loved. Their words are

31:55

theirs and their stories are essential to our

31:57

understanding of the world around us. We don't.

32:00

correct we listen we record we

32:02

learn yes side

32:17

of the lake recording some notes takes

32:20

a breath runs a hand through his hair

32:23

another village another

32:26

set of horrors it's been

32:28

too many of

32:30

these then his eyes

32:33

catch something in the woods of a

32:35

head strange

32:38

glow squints Dr.

32:42

Barnes no doctor son

32:45

oh sorry professor Barnes how

32:48

about just bonds okay okay

32:51

Barnes what's that Barnes

32:55

just looks at the glow just

32:57

now reflecting its light across the

32:59

ripples in the lake water not

33:02

sure flanked

33:04

by his students he heads

33:06

over toward the woods and

33:09

there the old Ayudara

33:11

has suddenly begun to glow

33:16

is that should

33:18

we not be here or

33:21

Barnes doesn't answer he

33:24

walks around to stand

33:27

in front of the gate see

33:30

something what

33:33

what is it for Barnes

33:36

Barnes is just steering and when

33:39

he sees in the game space

33:41

set he looks almost determined

33:45

grim but

33:47

then a slow smile starts

33:49

to creep across his face yeah

33:53

that would do that would do

33:55

nicely he glances up

33:57

and his students say I'll

34:00

be back in a jiff. And

34:03

he steps through the gate. Oh,

34:10

yeah, that crackling speech, that humming

34:12

sound that we know now that these gates

34:14

make, the sound that all of

34:16

you heard when you first stepped through. And

34:20

we're back. This crackling fire.

34:24

Asta has a katana out, the

34:27

body lying on the ground of the first guy that came

34:29

out of the woods. Choking

34:32

on his own blood. That

34:34

was Nisaka Mitchell. That was Nisaka Mitchell.

34:38

His name will never learn. And

34:41

you are standing there with the bone. Easy,

34:43

easy. I don't mean any harm. I just, I

34:46

found this. I thought

34:48

this might belong to one of you. That's mine. She

34:52

goes up and she snatches it for me. How, how,

34:55

how did you get that? Why do you have

34:57

that? I found it on the side of the river. Back

35:00

a few miles. Did you see a

35:03

creature? A great snail-like beast.

35:06

Oh, that's what did it. No,

35:08

I didn't see it today, but I've seen

35:10

that one. Did you see a woman?

35:15

Woman. Red hair? No.

35:20

No woman. Sorry.

35:23

Lost a friend. We

35:26

did it, please, sir. Step closer.

35:29

Do you have any weapons on you? I

35:32

wouldn't be out here without one, would I? Sure.

35:34

What are they? He

35:36

pulls back the side of his coat and he's got

35:39

a kukri on his belt. Love

35:41

a kukri. And then a chakram tied to the other

35:43

side of his belt. Oh. And

35:46

a couple dyers. Okay.

35:50

And I just slowly, she's her

35:52

katana. Hubert slides up to

35:54

Asta. Oh, he looks like he's

35:56

hiding a sausage in his pants. Oh,

36:00

nine foot sausage. I pick

36:03

Hubert up. Can I pick him up?

36:05

He's tiny, right? Oh boy. I pick Hubert up and

36:07

I go, Listen to me, Hubert. You

36:10

need to stop it. Maybe

36:12

another weapon. Hubert,

36:16

whether or not you know what I'm talking about,

36:18

you need to stop it. Just

36:21

sit quietly. Are

36:24

you from this place, this

36:26

jungle? No, yours

36:29

are the first friendly faces I've seen sometime

36:31

now. Months

36:34

since, two, three

36:36

months? It's like, hey, you probably lost track of time.

36:38

Might've been a month, might've been two. How long have

36:40

you been here? A month, two,

36:42

I'm from, I'm a

36:44

teacher. I work at the, I work

36:47

in Avistan, I work

36:50

at the Arcanarium. So we are

36:52

in Avistan? No, I walk through a gate.

36:54

I don't know where we are. Oh,

36:57

is your brand the full? It's

36:59

on the, it's like on the back of his

37:01

neck over here. I think Asa asks

37:04

then. That's a common spot for it. Yeah.

37:06

Asa says, shows your neck. He

37:10

kind of looks around and he, he smells

37:12

what you're cooking and he's like, you all too,

37:14

huh? He turns his neck and

37:17

shows you the little, the Gatewalker tattoo. You

37:21

all too, oh you got here, you've been here the whole time.

37:24

No, we only just recently, a matter

37:27

of hours ago, passed through the gate.

37:31

You survived out here for a month? Hasn't

37:33

been easy. All manner

37:35

of creatures. And there's that, I

37:38

assume you've seen the, the

37:40

funicular, the pyramid, ending up to

37:42

the pyramid. Yes. Yes, that's where we

37:44

were headed. Well, I approached

37:46

there, but there was, some

37:50

kind of construct. I don't know for sure what it's called, but I've

37:52

never seen it before. But they were

37:54

loading things. They were

37:56

made of stone themselves. I

37:58

approached, they attacked. I

38:00

can handle myself, but I was

38:03

outnumbered. I backed off. Are

38:05

they workers of some

38:07

kind or guardians? It's possible. Once I backed off,

38:09

they let me go. It

38:14

stopped. As if a switch was

38:16

flipped and suddenly they left me alone. Forgive

38:19

me. My name is

38:21

Brother Remius of Lartria, also

38:23

in Avastan. He extends and hands you. What's

38:26

his cigarette into the other hand? Reaches

38:28

out. The young name. The young

38:30

man responds. That's a good

38:32

name. Thanks. My

38:35

parents like it, I guess. This

38:38

is Bugles. I love

38:40

that. Bugles. And for

38:43

a second, his eyes flash red and

38:45

he's like, Ahhh! And

38:48

that is the call of concept. The

38:51

cards don't even flinch. And he just looks down and he goes, Ah

38:54

yes. I see what

38:56

you've got in there, my little friend. You

38:59

might be the bravest of them all. And

39:02

Bugles comes back and he's got the,

39:04

to leave his hand across most snow and he

39:07

just like sort of hugs it tighter and sort

39:09

of shrinks back. Well

39:11

met. This is

39:14

Zephyr. Hey.

39:18

She's like, gonna shake your hand and don't want to. She doesn't want to.

39:20

No, I don't want to. She's thinking like, great,

39:22

yes, let's meet another person and then we'll all die

39:25

together. You don't hear that. That's

39:29

what she says on her face. No, it

39:31

is. It's like you don't want

39:33

to get to know like the new guy. Yeah.

39:36

All these people are dying. Well,

39:38

also just like in Vietnam. Yeah.

39:40

And also like just a

39:43

minute. Literally

39:46

like a minute ago, Zephyr just told us that

39:48

she doesn't want to be

39:50

here. Yeah. Doesn't want to be with

39:53

us anymore. Everything was a mistake. She's hearing that you've

39:55

been out here for months on your own and she's

39:57

like, yeah, I definitely shouldn't be here. I

39:59

should go home. She's like, yeah, it's nice to meet you,

40:01

I guess. And Barnes-Gill was not

40:03

around at all, he was. I

40:06

can see you've all been through something. I

40:09

apologize for intruding on your moment. I

40:11

can go and let you have your... No,

40:13

of course not. You are alone. Hubert Hedge

40:15

is my name. Right. That's Hubert. He's Shakespeare

40:18

10. Hello there, brother Sausage. He is not.

40:20

That's really, that's going to stick, huh? Yes.

40:22

I didn't catch your name when you said

40:24

it. Always thinking about saying my own name.

40:27

But get to listen when the person delivers theirs. I'm

40:29

always like, you're dead, you were dead, you were dead,

40:31

and you said your name. No, I forgot. So your

40:33

brother Sausage to me. That's

40:35

fine, if that's what makes you comfortable. What's

40:37

your name again? Barnes. Hedge. Barnes.

40:39

Stitch. Stitch

40:41

again. And my name

40:44

is Asta. And Asta goes to push some of

40:46

her fur back on her head, and then it

40:48

just poofs right back up, because it's so

40:50

humid here. It pushes it down. Are

40:52

you still holding your katana out at me? No, I

40:54

sheathed it. Oh, OK. I sheathed it. I didn't even

40:56

shake hands. She's... No. Fair

40:59

enough. Romette.

41:01

She just bows. Are

41:05

you hungry? Do you need any food?

41:07

That would be lovely. I have something to contribute as

41:09

well. That's all right. And he pulled out some of

41:11

his supplies. Of course. Bugles,

41:13

do we have anything we can give him any food? Yes,

41:17

yes. And I

41:20

hand over some heart attack, some

41:22

of our rations. I'm

41:25

sorry we don't have more of a career. It's

41:27

very generous of you. Are you able to

41:30

maintain the sustenance here? Are you

41:32

hunting animals and staying

41:35

fed? Oraging mostly. So

41:38

there are berries that can be eaten. As far

41:41

as I can tell. Oh,

41:43

have you bought anything I've ever seen

41:45

before, but the floor too? So

41:48

you still do not know which continent we

41:50

are on. I'm an anthropologist by

41:53

trade, not necessarily a botanist or a

41:56

zorologist. But nothing

41:58

here seems familiar to me. Do you have any idea, do

42:00

you have no idea where we are? No,

42:03

we're trying to discover that. Uh, anthropologists

42:06

by trade. Oh yes. So

42:09

these, these structures,

42:12

these pyramids, do

42:15

they remind you of any

42:17

particular culture of Galarian? Can

42:19

I roll on that? Yeah.

42:22

I mean, I also have seen the ruins, so I can

42:24

talk about that. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

42:27

Um, alright. I

42:31

do not, they do not, they do not remind me of anything I

42:33

can learn. Do you tell us that you saw a big elf statue?

42:35

Yeah, I'll tell you about the ruins I saw. I

42:38

saw this old ancient ruins,

42:40

this giant statue of an elf. Clearly.

42:44

I mean, I look at Zephyr.

42:46

Elves, elves Zephyr. She

42:50

just kind of looks at you all and then takes

42:52

her boat, turns around and walks away, and

42:55

like is looking at it. It probably is like all beat up

42:57

and has slime on it still. To leave his blood.

43:01

Yeah. Oh, jinx. Maybe

43:03

blood, but I don't know if she

43:05

can handle listening to anything more today, so she's

43:07

gonna walk away. And

43:10

die in the woods alone. We'll

43:12

just walk over away from you guys, like I'm

43:14

not in your conversation. Please,

43:17

turn off my back. I

43:19

must sit. He very dramatically flaps the tails

43:21

of his coat and sits on the log. His

43:24

duster. Yes. Also,

43:27

I wanted to, maybe I can do this

43:29

while we rest and I'm not sure if it's like a mechanical

43:31

thing, but I don't want to forget that way

43:33

back in the thin lands, now feels like a million, bajillion

43:35

years ago, from the spider guy

43:38

who had those crazy goggles that Talitha got.

43:40

I got his spell book and

43:42

I want to look at the

43:44

book to learn those spells so I

43:47

can prepare some new spells. And I

43:49

know that the spell book has Force

43:51

Bolt, Tanglefoot, Shield, Mage Hand, Spider Climb,

43:53

and an Arrow and Green Flame. That's

43:55

what I wrote down that you said. So.

43:58

You've taken some time with this. book

44:01

at this point so I think

44:03

it's safe to say you have

44:05

identified the spells in the book.

44:08

Meaning that I can now add them to my book

44:10

right like I can prepare them? Yeah I'm not sure

44:12

how the do you know how the transfer of like

44:15

yeah those two one spell book is is a

44:17

whole thing. Yeah it costs money. It costs money.

44:19

Pay per spell kind of like learning the spell.

44:21

Okay then I will figure that out off air but now

44:23

I know I can do that. I

44:26

mean you might be able to say that you

44:28

don't need components for it so

44:30

it doesn't cost any money but there is a

44:32

role associated with properly copying it and

44:35

if you critically fail I think you can't attempt

44:37

again until you level up or something like that.

44:39

Is there anything mechanically stopping her from just learning

44:41

the spell from the other spell book like using

44:43

both or like I guess I

44:45

could just hold both spell books right I

44:47

mean yeah I actually I don't think so

44:49

I think that that's fine that's

44:51

fine that you can add

44:53

them to your list that you could prepare

44:56

I don't see why not yeah and if

44:58

I have both books. There is

45:00

a way of thinking about spell

45:02

books out there that one wizard

45:04

cannot use another wizard spell book because

45:06

the writing is so esoteric and the

45:08

approach to the spell is so unique

45:10

that you would have to essentially translate

45:12

it. Translate it. Your own approach to

45:14

magic. It's not like a list of ingredients

45:16

that like like this you

45:20

know Force Barrage is

45:23

the same in every wizard spell book like

45:26

they look very different from each other so

45:28

there is an argument to be made that

45:30

you have to copy it but I'm fine

45:32

with either interpretation. Also it's well known that

45:34

wizards touch their genitals when handling their spell

45:36

book so I wouldn't want to get spells

45:38

from someone else. No you're probably right Troy

45:41

I'm gonna go with that interpretation. The genitals

45:43

interpretation? Yeah it's like gross. That's gross. You

45:45

don't want to touch another man's book. Stinky.

45:47

Here are the spells Acid Arrow,

45:50

Blazing Bolt, Gecko Grip, Force

45:53

Barrage, Shocking Grasp, Telekinetic

45:55

Hand, Shield and

45:57

Tanglevine. I believe Gecko Grip is

46:00

Spidey Buttercrumb, yeah, okay. Enforced

46:02

Parachis, everything. Magic missile, magic

46:05

missile. And that's been updated

46:07

here on Founder VTT, even though this

46:09

is a original Jon from the Jon.

46:11

Oh, nice. Wow. That's awesome.

46:13

Wow. Very cool. Founder

46:15

VTT, what are you doing? What are you doing? You

46:18

play this game all day. Treat yourself. They're

46:21

putting the work in, that's what

46:23

they're doing. Work in.

46:25

To learn a spell, you must spend

46:27

one hour per spell rank during which

46:29

you must remain in conversation with a

46:31

person who knows the spell or have

46:34

the magical writing in your possession. Okay.

46:36

Have the materials in price mentioned

46:40

here. All these are Cantrip's first

46:42

level spells, right? Or are there any

46:44

second level spells? Oh, let me see

46:46

here. You were just looking at the book? Yeah. Come

46:49

on, I'll take a look at that. Can't

46:51

make heads or tails of this. Anyway, first

46:53

level spells and Cantrips are two gold pieces

46:56

apiece to learn. Second level spells are six

46:58

gold pieces apiece. Yeah. She's the

47:00

weak. Extremely valuable to that. That's an error as a second

47:02

level spell. Ooh. Yeah.

47:05

As is blazing bolt. Ooh. As

47:07

is blazing bolt. Is that a scorching ring? It's a

47:09

deep scorching ring. Echo grip, yep. Force for a... So

47:11

yeah, that's a lot of gold and I don't think

47:13

we have that. I don't have any gold at all.

47:16

Yeah. All right. Well, cool

47:18

spell. I look at a spell book and I go, cool

47:20

spell book. And then I close it. Because

47:23

I can't learn anything. You haven't been to Nighthold?

47:27

I have not. Well, it's lovely. It's not. It's

47:29

not, you said it's not. You didn't like it. You said

47:31

it's horrible and horrifying. That's why we took you with us.

47:33

You left with us. This is what lovely mean to you.

47:37

Enjoyable, comfortable. Name? Stop

47:39

that. What does it mean to you, Hubert?

47:41

What does it mean to you, Hubert? Oh,

47:43

sickening, dangerous. That's what lovely means.

47:46

Yes, my uncle was a lovely man.

47:51

Hubert is not from Palestine.

47:53

Not with us. He

47:58

is not welcome. He's

48:00

sort of like a messed up

48:03

little guy. If it feels like a

48:05

nightmare talking to him, it's because he's from the

48:07

place of nightmares. I understand. We're gonna

48:09

be past friends, you know. That's where we

48:12

came from. Straight to here.

48:14

It was an accident. You're from Nighthold? No,

48:16

no, no. Where we came from, we made

48:19

a mistake, I think, when we entered through the gate.

48:21

We ended up here. Well,

48:23

we passed briefly through this place known

48:25

as Nighthold. I guess we should

48:28

say that we were asked

48:31

to come here

48:33

to research, perhaps not here. We didn't

48:35

know where here would be, but to research

48:38

what happened when we passed

48:41

through the gate. No one could

48:43

quite remember where they had been. Do

48:46

you remember being anywhere other than this place

48:49

after passing through from Avastan? I mean, where they

48:51

had been. I walked through the gate and I

48:53

emerged here in this jungle. Wait.

48:56

And Brother Amias looks at everybody else for

48:59

a moment. His eyes pass. Oh. Siamikas

49:04

or Bons. Bons. I... Only

49:07

my parents call me Bons.

49:09

Though many of us in Avastan, who perhaps

49:11

went to another place, like you have done,

49:14

eventually returned to Avastan, but

49:18

with no memory of where they had gone. I,

49:21

for example, stepped into the gate and

49:24

have no memory of anything but stepping out of

49:26

it a moment later. But three

49:28

months had passed on Avastan.

49:31

Three months. Three months.

49:33

What's the date? What's the current date? Who's

49:36

the president? Who's the president? I'll give him the

49:38

current date. I'll give him the current date. I'll

49:41

give him the current date. I don't know. It's four

49:43

months ahead. So much time has passed. So this is

49:45

your missing moment. I just realized I've encountered the missing

49:47

moment. Yeah. Oh,

49:49

no. We've got to get back. Yes,

49:52

it is possible that you were

49:55

gone even within that gate

49:57

longer than you realize. I

49:59

know the date that I... was when I stepped through it the

50:01

same night that you all went to the gate. Yeah. Yeah,

50:04

so he'll walk through it and say, so, but why did

50:06

you return? Why did you come here? And

50:08

not Avastan. This could be an interesting

50:10

clue. Anyway, not what I thought. A

50:13

man in Avastan named Dr. Whittleson, a

50:16

professor, a teacher, brought

50:18

us all together, many

50:20

more of us, there are more of us

50:22

that experience this, and has set

50:24

us out to try to find out what happened.

50:29

I'd very much like to hear

50:31

your findings. First we

50:33

probably need to get out of here and back home now. Well,

50:36

there is no direct way. We were making our

50:38

way toward where you said the stone

50:41

creatures are. We hoped that this would be

50:43

some sign of civilization, some way to get

50:45

back home. The gate is inert.

50:47

It will not open, despite us having the shade

50:49

with the key. Oh, this is an important point.

50:52

Zephyr, tell him about the key. Um,

50:54

well... When he sees

50:57

this, Barnes gets really excited. This is the kind of

50:59

thing that gets him up in the morning studying stuff.

51:01

Artifacts and implement. Yeah, it's

51:03

kind of amazing that she has it. But yeah, she

51:05

tells you all about the shade with her key, the

51:07

oak stewards, Bolon maybe, how

51:10

we found it. Are you shouting? And then

51:12

how it led. Well, I came back because I heard

51:14

him talking the hedgehog, and I'm like, you know what,

51:17

fuck this hedgehog. She wants to.

51:19

I'm going to go correct the right one.

51:21

No, and she also explains how after Kniepoe...

51:25

You talk about Kniepoe, you explain Kniepoe. Yeah, after Kniepoe,

51:27

like the key kind of turned on and

51:29

led us through the gate as it was

51:31

led up to here. So you

51:33

defeated this Kniepoe? We did. And so

51:35

you averted what would have been

51:38

catastrophe of the countryside. Perhaps

51:41

we hope it is fully averted. He's...

51:43

We don't know. We haven't been back

51:45

there. We haven't been back. I assume

51:47

that the way that the Gorgas

51:50

and monsters were getting through is closed

51:52

now that he's defeated. But I

51:55

don't know. He was... It

51:58

was weird in Kniepoe. It was

52:00

strange. Never though I'm

52:02

impressed with all of you. Heroes, you are. Well...

52:06

That's a nice either say that. We

52:08

all can't...we all slowly... That's

52:10

a lot of our headstones, Hubert. Might as

52:12

well a hero once. And slowly, so we're

52:15

back to each other. Hubert was a prisoner

52:17

in Kneepo's court. He was

52:19

being held in a cage there. So

52:21

this is a humiliate. This is an act of

52:23

further generosity on your part. He was forced to

52:25

wear a hat. Yes. Oh,

52:28

the hat is not... Just forced. Forced to act a

52:30

fool. Yes. This

52:33

is terrible. I saved his life just

52:35

this morning. Oh. Yes.

52:37

Yes, when we recently lost our companion. The

52:41

snail creature that we came up against. It

52:44

almost destroyed me as well. If

52:46

not for Hubert. I

52:48

owe him everything. No! Don't

52:52

touch it! I don't know how

52:54

we are going to face these stone constructs that

52:57

you talk about. If our plan was to go

52:59

to this funicular, we were so

53:01

unfamiliar with this land. And

53:04

we lost someone to a

53:06

snail. I don't think

53:08

we can. He's been

53:11

surviving here for months. He pats you on

53:13

the shoulder very, very... You understand? I

53:15

understand. I think that

53:18

we now have... I

53:20

was going to say five, but six of us. Yes. Let's

53:23

do it. I

53:26

think perhaps if we were able to get ourselves loaded

53:28

on what they're loading, we maybe can ride that up

53:30

to the pyramid. He gets loaded all the time. Loaded

53:33

right now. I was about to say we could all get loaded.

53:36

I mean, new friends and all. You know what? Yeah.

53:39

Do you smoke? I don't, but you

53:42

drink. I do. Jaggedy.

53:45

I didn't used to. He pulls

53:47

out a flask and he burned through this

53:49

the first couple of nights I was here. No, I'm afraid

53:51

I have none. But I do

53:53

have a pinch of flailie if it interests you. I never

53:55

touch the stuff. Disgusting habit, really. Then

53:59

for four... We're

54:02

never dull my mind, okay? Meant for cowards and

54:04

fools. Oh, it dulls your mind? By

54:07

a leaf? Sharpens. Hey, I'll take some.

54:10

Oh. All right. I

54:13

gotta go to sleep tonight. If we have any chances

54:15

we may get to anywhere. Every single thing we ran

54:17

into, we've died countless times

54:20

while trying to fight it. You've died countless

54:22

times? Well, I mean, we've only

54:25

bring us back. We

54:27

have. I'm out of the faith. I

54:29

am. And we have been

54:32

very battered. We very much

54:34

so need some rest. You

54:37

put it in your mouth. Tonight

54:39

on a very special episode of the Glass Cannon

54:41

podcast. You just breathe it in and you hold

54:43

it in? Mars is reconsidering the take-dation of all

54:45

this. You just hold it in? You have to

54:48

light it first. Light it, light it. Be careful, it's in the

54:50

twig. That's a gateway. I know why I did it

54:52

this much. You could just use the fire. Oh, the

54:54

fire. I guess I'll put my face on fire. In

54:56

front of you. Careful, brothers, Ethel, that's a gateway. Shut

54:58

up, you very... No, no, you

55:01

know what? I cast produce flame for

55:03

you. On a finger. Avatar style on one finger. So, we

55:05

very much... Take it easy. I

55:07

need a third. She took a massive hold.

55:09

That was a lot. Did you tell her not to

55:11

inhale it? She skipped the first time. Shortly. Oh my

55:13

God, I'm so dizzy. It's over. I'm

55:16

so dizzy. I'm so dizzy. I'm so

55:18

dizzy. I'm so dizzy. I'm so dizzy.

55:20

I'm so dizzy. I'm so dizzy. I'm

55:23

so dizzy. I'm so dizzy. I'm so

55:25

dizzy. I'm so dizzy.

55:32

Alright, so roll a four to two. Forgot about

55:34

that, didn't you? I forgot there

55:36

were repercussions to drug use. Fifteen.

55:42

That is a success. You're alright. She's

55:44

trained in all her experiences. You know what I smoke it too.

55:46

I smoke it too. You just wanna

55:48

roll some. You just wanna roll some dice. What

55:52

you roll in? Nalas, shakis, and playleaf. That's my

55:54

move. What's this? Eighteen.

55:58

Pretty f- Pretty

56:00

strong shit. That's bad

56:03

effects. It's not weed. I'm acting like it's

56:05

weed. Alright, yeah.

56:07

I smoked some too. And Asta settles down.

56:10

And you feel sharper. As

56:12

if you... The

56:15

mechanical bonus that it gives you is a plus one,

56:17

two. Saves against mental effects. So you

56:19

feel like a little bit more in control of your own mind maybe.

56:22

Or, maybe less control. Maybe that's why it is. I

56:24

don't know. You interpreted how you'd like. But

56:28

he's explaining to Barnes

56:30

that we would... That we're about to rest. That we're

56:32

about to put down for the night. Do

56:36

you have a camp nearby? He...

56:40

I am my own camp. You're welcome to camp

56:42

with us. And I'll

56:44

just do a quick perception just for good

56:46

measure. Yeah, I'm gonna... Yeah, I

56:48

mean it says it pretty good. I feel like

56:50

Take the torch and does like a perimeter walk or something. I

56:52

was talking about on Barnes. Yeah, I was talking about

56:54

on you all. Oh, I was talking about on the

56:57

area. So 22 on Barnes just to see if he

57:00

is some sort of liar or thief. 23

57:04

on the area. Okay. Bugles

57:07

gets an 18 on Barnes. Okay.

57:10

I get a 24 on all them. Whoa.

57:12

Whoa. Wait. I

57:15

still don't really know where you are. Yeah, what

57:17

the heck. I know, right? Do you like all wisdom-y?

57:19

Is anyone hiding anything from Barnes?

57:21

No. My feelings. No,

57:24

yeah, I don't think we're hiding anything. I'm hiding

57:26

my hurt and grief. Yeah, like my dead friend

57:28

who died not hours ago. Acting strong. Do you

57:31

think Barnes is hiding anything from the group? I

57:35

mean, there's things he didn't say. Sure. He didn't

57:37

say what he saw on the gate, for example. But he's

57:39

not being deceptive. He's not being deceptive. Okay. Everything

57:42

he's told you is true. Okay. Yeah, you don't get any

57:44

sense. So rest if you like. I

57:47

can take the first watch, if that's helpful. How

57:49

joyous. That is very kind of you.

57:53

Thank you, Barnes. It is

57:55

encouraging to meet someone that

57:57

has survived here for so long. Don't believe me. I'm

57:59

sure. For me, I'm relieved to see you all.

58:01

I haven't talked to anyone in a month.

58:03

Yes, I know the feeling. Good

58:06

night. I will say good night. Asa

58:09

turns into a fox. Can

58:12

you do that? Is that the one you can

58:14

do? Yes. Which one can't you do? She can't be

58:16

human. Right. I turn

58:18

into a fox and then I dig a hole

58:20

and I go in it. Okay.

58:23

I thought you were hiding something. Miss

58:26

Asta. She pokes her head out, looks at you,

58:28

and then goes back into the hole. Bugles

58:32

takes the hand crossbow, hugs

58:35

it tightly, wraps his cloak around himself,

58:37

and turns over on his side and tries to

58:39

sleep. I'll take

58:41

first watch and as she

58:43

does, she starts

58:45

cleaning her bow off and oiling it.

58:47

I'm happy to take the first watch. No, I got it. You

58:49

all can grill up. Alright,

58:53

man. Never turn down sleep, right? He's

58:58

all asleep as well. Long

59:01

day. It's just

59:03

you and Zephyr. Are

59:07

you staying up? No, I'll sleep. Okay. I

59:09

was going to say, there's no way Hubert offered to stay up. He's

59:12

going to bed. I was going to say,

59:14

if it was Brother Tripod was going to stay up,

59:16

but I'll wait until he's up. I'll

59:19

sleep as well. Good night, Brother Zephyr. Worst

59:30

nightmare. Something

59:32

very lovely was happening. I think

59:35

we're going to have to be free. Love

59:38

last night. Back.

59:49

You guys are resting, taking turns, keeping

59:52

watch. Next

59:54

morning comes. It's a gray

59:56

morning. The sun isn't hot, which is a nice

59:58

reprieve. from what

1:00:01

it's been like since you walked through

1:00:03

that Ayudhara and ended up here. Maybe

1:00:07

there's even a light mist in the air from the tree

1:00:09

cover. The hill

1:00:12

that you came upon, the Amicus,

1:00:14

the head of an elf,

1:00:18

sort of carved out of a boulder, is actually

1:00:21

not far from here. So maybe

1:00:23

I'd take them to see it? Yeah, if you want, you

1:00:25

could take them to see it. Is there anything you guys

1:00:27

need to do as you're breaking camp? Just

1:00:31

prepare spells and stuff like that.

1:00:33

So yeah, he does have to do

1:00:35

that. Just thinking about, yeah, I'm

1:00:37

not gonna change anything for now. I just, I

1:00:39

prepare so much healing. Like, that's what I'm just

1:00:41

gonna keep doing, I think. Preparing

1:00:44

healing. Yeah,

1:00:47

I guess I can't, it

1:00:50

stinks with the spell book stuff, because

1:00:52

I can't really like, do, I can't transfer any

1:00:54

of those new spells because we don't have enough money. So

1:00:57

I'm just gonna prepare my regular

1:00:59

spells. And I'm not a fox. You're

1:01:02

not a fox. Don't say that about yourself. Thank you.

1:01:05

I was fishing for that compliment. That's

1:01:09

the compliment. I'm

1:01:11

back in my, I just wanna say I'm back in my Katsune form,

1:01:14

so you're not like, you can't pick

1:01:16

up your katana, you know. I'm back

1:01:18

in my Katsune form. Okay, and Zephyr

1:01:20

obviously has her bow back, so buggles,

1:01:22

Asta, Zephyr, the Elmekus,

1:01:25

the Arameus, Bons, Bons, and

1:01:27

Hubert Hatch. I can picture

1:01:29

this party very clearly in

1:01:31

my mind's eye. Set out, uh,

1:01:35

Barnes taking them to this site. Maybe they would

1:01:37

find it interesting. You really must see it, must

1:01:39

see it, you know. It's in the direction. Yeah,

1:01:41

lead the way. It's on the way. And,

1:01:45

uh, after a couple hours of travel,

1:01:47

um, maybe Barnes moves the

1:01:49

direction a few times and then, you know,

1:01:51

finds it again until you come to this

1:01:54

clearing, the clearing that we saw in the

1:01:56

flashback of last week's episode, and just ahead,

1:01:58

Loah looms a, uh, short hill, covered

1:02:01

in low grass and

1:02:03

vines. And

1:02:06

the mound is maybe punctured here and

1:02:08

there by mossy boulders and ambitious

1:02:11

trees. And sure

1:02:13

enough, at the hills crest, the

1:02:15

largest of these boulders has been

1:02:17

carved into the unmistakable likeness of

1:02:20

an Elden head. Wow. Wow.

1:02:24

So cool. Oh, yes, look. By

1:02:26

the way, I think Bugles is really freaked out

1:02:29

at the idea that Zephyr is thinking about

1:02:32

leaving. Mm-hmm. I think he's,

1:02:34

this is absolutely incredibly

1:02:36

upsetting for him. He's trying

1:02:38

not to show it, but he's, would

1:02:42

take every opportunity to try to like make her want

1:02:44

to stay. So he's like

1:02:46

pointing at the, yeah, the elf, elf. Oh,

1:02:50

wow. Yeah, that's really big. Oh,

1:02:55

God. Looks like you a bit.

1:02:57

Yeah, a little bit. Maybe it's a sign. Yeah,

1:03:02

maybe. Zephyr,

1:03:04

do you have any knowledge

1:03:07

of what this is? I

1:03:09

mean, my dad told me

1:03:12

stories about it, about

1:03:16

Castrovel, where the elves

1:03:19

are from. Castrovel. Isn't

1:03:23

that a planet? Yeah.

1:03:27

He'd always be like the star in the sky up there. It's

1:03:30

where the elves came from. And

1:03:32

they have statues like this there.

1:03:36

I don't know if they have statues like this here. Yeah,

1:03:38

it's a possible. On Galarian. And Barnes

1:03:41

just starts like conferring with all the, you

1:03:43

know, your dog, carry somewhere. Is there

1:03:46

a knowledge role for like if this

1:03:48

could exist on Galarian? Yeah,

1:03:50

you could have like engineering lore

1:03:52

or anything. Elf lore? Yeah,

1:03:54

elf lore. I don't have elf lore,

1:03:56

but I am a half elf. Do

1:03:59

I get a? Yeah. Oh, you don't have Elgore?

1:04:01

I was like, Elgore's perfect. You

1:04:04

made that Elg, stapling lore. Um, I actually can

1:04:06

roll on this. Okay, it would be

1:04:08

society, maybe I could do this. I have society,

1:04:10

I'm trained in that. And anyone could roll that, but

1:04:12

yeah, I could have, uh... But

1:04:15

I don't know anything. Uh, 22 for society. Okay,

1:04:19

Raimi, do you want to get involved? 42's pretty

1:04:21

good. Wouldn't it be

1:04:23

Arcana, right? Not so much. Uh,

1:04:27

ooh, natural 20. Nice. 25

1:04:30

on society. So maybe my knowledge is like, you're

1:04:32

saying just based on stories, um, not

1:04:35

as good as yours. And Barnes,

1:04:37

you know, comes in and is like, yeah,

1:04:40

gets interested in, and Brameus

1:04:42

is really... He borrows one of your floating books.

1:04:44

He borrows one of your floating books. Please

1:04:46

take a look in there while I... Wait,

1:04:49

were there any... Did

1:04:53

your parents ever speak of, uh, any,

1:04:55

uh... Duplicates

1:04:58

or, um, places

1:05:01

of honor on Galarian that mimicked this sort

1:05:03

of construction? Not that I know

1:05:05

of, no. So were there 25, would

1:05:07

I know if there's a place on Galarian where they did this kind of

1:05:09

stuff, where elves built these

1:05:12

large monuments to elves? You would

1:05:14

know that not unlike the

1:05:16

Ayodara that exists all over

1:05:18

Galarian, there are statues of

1:05:20

elves. Um, so this isn't that

1:05:23

strange to see. But

1:05:25

there is something very, um... I

1:05:28

mean, just very, uh, different about

1:05:30

the features of this elf. It's

1:05:33

very stylized in a way that

1:05:35

is unlike anything you've ever seen

1:05:37

or seen etchings of

1:05:39

in books. This feels very like Olmec.

1:05:42

Yeah. The ultra giant stone heads

1:05:44

and the jungle and everything. This

1:05:47

feels very Olmec-y. Yes,

1:05:50

any structures like this that I heard of

1:05:52

in Galarian were in Alveston. Were

1:05:54

in the southern reaches of the

1:05:56

continent. I don't know of any that are

1:05:59

in... This climate or

1:06:01

this ecosystem? I

1:06:03

agree. I haven't traveled

1:06:05

much around the equator. But I've

1:06:08

never seen anything like this. Can we?

1:06:11

My first assumption when we looked at the stars

1:06:13

and could not recognize them was that we had

1:06:15

perhaps crossed over

1:06:17

to the southern hemisphere of Galarian.

1:06:20

Could it be either? Could

1:06:23

it be Castroville? Could

1:06:25

the gates of... I don't see

1:06:27

why not. Could they go through planes,

1:06:30

dimensions? This is their nothing. Why

1:06:33

not to another planet? Could

1:06:36

I roll on the Ayudara? Have you

1:06:38

ever heard a story of someone passing between

1:06:40

an ancient tale, someone passing between planets? Yeah,

1:06:42

like elves using it to travel? That's

1:06:46

what for. Yeah, I mean... I

1:06:48

was going to make you roll on it. I mean, you're a learned

1:06:50

man. Yeah. I know that that's what

1:06:52

they built them for. Between worlds. I mean... Yeah,

1:06:54

the Exodus, I think, of the elves. It comes

1:06:56

down. Oh, we've gone through the Ayudara. Yeah, yeah.

1:06:59

That's what I thought. The Great Exodus and then

1:07:01

their eventual return. This was one of the ways

1:07:03

in which they powered that. As

1:07:05

you're planting this idea that this could

1:07:07

possibly be another planet in Barnes' head,

1:07:09

everybody roll a... Well, actually, don't roll.

1:07:12

What is everyone's perception DC? So

1:07:14

your perception plus 10? Same.

1:07:18

Same? None

1:07:24

of you notice some things

1:07:27

crawling out of the bush. Roll

1:07:30

for initiative. Oh! Pickle

1:07:33

barns the others! Riddle

1:07:35

pickle barns the others!

1:07:37

Cody, we got a

1:07:39

champion here. A scarred warrior, it seems.

1:07:41

You want to see a map and

1:07:43

a half? I do. Yeah,

1:07:46

take me to the map and

1:07:48

a half! Look at that head!

1:07:50

Whoa. Whoa. Now,

1:07:52

I don't have artwork yet for Mr.

1:07:55

Barnes, so I've just used one of

1:07:57

the Iconics. But let's...

1:07:59

see how everybody's artwork for Mr. Barnes being

1:08:02

worked on. All right. All right. I can't

1:08:04

wait to see. I'm excited to see that.

1:08:06

I'll give you two apps. I don't want

1:08:08

to waste it. So we'll definitely have it

1:08:11

next week. You shut your mouth. Rome

1:08:15

wasn't built in a day. This is a this

1:08:17

is a Grecian goddess we're talking about or God

1:08:19

we're talking about. Yeah. Here's what we're going

1:08:21

to do. You guys did very well last

1:08:24

week and I have obviously been very stingy

1:08:26

with the caps. So

1:08:28

I've got some caps here that are coming

1:08:30

to you guys for good role play. Oh,

1:08:32

one for everyone. One for everyone. You get

1:08:35

a cap. Hey, hey, hey. Oh, thanks buddy.

1:08:37

Oh my gosh. Give me mine. Give me

1:08:39

it. Give me it. Thank

1:08:41

you. I feel like Oprah Jr. I

1:08:44

got a glass cannon lab. Oh,

1:08:46

no. I love the

1:08:48

lab. You see in the lab? Would you get

1:08:51

a glass cannon lab? Game garage. Game garage. Game

1:08:53

garage. I got Metra. Oh. Throwback.

1:08:56

That's cool. You

1:08:59

are new to initiative here. What did you roll?

1:09:03

Baby. That's what he taught

1:09:06

at college. We're talking about.

1:09:09

Sadly level two. What

1:09:15

did you get there? Bugle. Six.

1:09:18

Oh, Bug. Five. Zebra.

1:09:20

Six. Six for Zebra. Oh my

1:09:22

God. They love each other. Wow.

1:09:26

Wow. Austin. I

1:09:29

like putting. Austin

1:09:31

and of course Brother Ramius. 26

1:09:34

for Brother Ramius. Six for Brother.

1:09:36

Oh, because you got an eight perception. I

1:09:39

do. I do have an

1:09:41

eight perception. Okay. Let's

1:09:44

roll some more initiatives. And

1:09:46

Brother Ramius, you go first.

1:09:49

Really? Nice. Wow.

1:09:52

That's the first time. First time on the pod. Guys,

1:09:54

things are changing. Things are changing for the better. So

1:09:56

he feels the presence

1:09:58

of something but can't. anything yet? Right, so

1:10:01

this is how this is going to play out.

1:10:03

These creatures were hiding, okay? And

1:10:05

so right now they have essentially lesser

1:10:07

cover in the brush with which they're

1:10:09

going, but when they attack they won't

1:10:12

attack you flat-footed because you now have

1:10:14

the chance to act first. So you're

1:10:16

not off guard against these creatures, but

1:10:18

you look and you see just north

1:10:20

of the head there is this like

1:10:22

feline lizard coming out of the brush

1:10:25

and you sense one coming from the

1:10:27

other side as well and I can

1:10:29

go ahead and show you what

1:10:31

they look like. Okay.

1:10:35

It is a weird feline

1:10:38

lizard covered in these

1:10:40

like wet bustules.

1:10:42

Wet bustules? Oh I liked it

1:10:44

until... It's got a spore effect

1:10:46

on it. Yeah.

1:10:50

Okay. It's got like a cat with

1:10:52

a snake head. Yeah. Yeah. And

1:10:54

there's another one you'll see to the southwest.

1:10:56

I think a trip to the vet is

1:10:58

in order. Yeah. That cat's sick. Cat. There's

1:11:01

something wrong with it. Doctor, my cat has

1:11:03

bubble back. There's

1:11:06

something wrong with this cat. Bubble back. Okay.

1:11:11

It's funny because I did say that

1:11:14

I just prepared heal, but of course

1:11:16

I was exaggerating. Uh,

1:11:21

okay. I am go... Oh

1:11:23

boy. Brother Ramius is going to see seeing these creatures.

1:11:26

There's something approaching. Keep it

1:11:28

protect us. And he is going to cast bless

1:11:31

to begin. And so

1:11:33

around him in a 15 foot

1:11:36

radius, uh, an aura forms

1:11:38

of light that will offer

1:11:40

you a plus one to hit anybody

1:11:42

that's within that radius. Hey, that's everybody.

1:11:44

Yeah. And then I will do a

1:11:47

recall knowledge on this creature. Okay.

1:11:49

Little call knowledge. Rami wrote. Yes,

1:11:51

I do. That is, uh, yeah. So nature.

1:11:53

Yeah. And eight plus eight. No

1:11:59

clue. what's

1:12:01

going on here. Okay. That

1:12:03

is his round. Okay. And

1:12:06

now goes to the new

1:12:08

guy in town. Hey. Barnsey!

1:12:11

Barnsey! Barnsey! Okay. Can

1:12:13

I see? So after Brother Ramey's called out, I can

1:12:15

now see them? Yes, you call it out, you see

1:12:17

them, that's how it's gonna play out. They're gonna have

1:12:19

cover from where they're standing up, you know, plus one

1:12:22

to their AC. Let's recover. Okay. But you see these

1:12:24

things coming out of the brush, hiding in the brush,

1:12:26

coming towards you. Okay. I am going to, I'm gonna

1:12:30

use an ability called exploit vulnerability.

1:12:36

I know what this is! What is it? So

1:12:38

you're gonna, it's a knowledge check, but it's gonna

1:12:40

be for, with esoteric lore. Esoteric

1:12:42

lore, kind of like a catch-all? Well,

1:12:45

it's, I'll explain more when we get into

1:12:47

it, but yeah. So it's, you're gonna, it's

1:12:49

gonna be against the creature's standard DC fourth

1:12:51

level. Okay. All right, then what is your

1:12:54

bonus? Plus eight. Okay.

1:12:56

What? So you guys tell me if it was

1:12:58

a crit, a success, a fail, or a critical

1:13:01

fail? Success. Okay, great. So I

1:13:03

can recall an important fact about the creature,

1:13:05

learning its highest weakness, or one of its

1:13:07

highest weaknesses, if it has multiple of the

1:13:10

same value. Okay. Yes,

1:13:12

and then that's, so yeah, if it has a

1:13:14

weakness, I need to learn about it. If it

1:13:16

does not, then something else has. All right, here's

1:13:18

what I'm gonna tell you. They are weak to

1:13:20

electricity. Right. Oh, that's huge! Just

1:13:23

to plant a little earworm in

1:13:25

your head, it is a volatile

1:13:27

weakness. Oh,

1:13:30

I don't know what that is. Those

1:13:32

little pustules, they're gonna blow up and

1:13:34

do damage to us, zap them if we're

1:13:36

in range of it or something. Interesting. Okay.

1:13:40

Volatile weakness. That is interesting,

1:13:42

and how that is going to affect

1:13:44

what's about to happen is going to be... Oh, yeah,

1:13:48

that's so funny. Yeah,

1:13:51

let me just read

1:13:53

this. That's really funny.

1:13:56

Huh, what's gonna happen? Huh. know

1:14:00

what's going through his head right now. No,

1:14:02

actually, this might be the perfect ability for

1:14:04

this. Okay. So

1:14:07

Barnes is going to... All

1:14:09

right. So,

1:14:11

let's take this out for a spin. You

1:14:14

might have noticed that Barnes is always kind of

1:14:16

fidgeting with a little, like a shard of a

1:14:18

mirror in his left hand. Oh. A

1:14:21

little shard of a mirror. And he seems

1:14:23

like his hand goes taut and he catches it and

1:14:25

it glints. It's a little bit of light. He

1:14:28

catches the light, it glints. And all

1:14:30

of a sudden, an exact copy of

1:14:32

Barnes appears 15 feet away toward the

1:14:34

north, toward the creature hiding in the

1:14:36

trees. A copy of

1:14:38

Barnes appears? Wow. Wow.

1:14:42

God dammit. All right. So where

1:14:44

is it? Like right to the north of the

1:14:46

creature? Like... No, 15 feet north

1:14:48

of Barnes. 15 feet north of Barnes. I got you.

1:14:50

Okay. On the way to the creature.

1:14:52

There you go. Oh my gosh. We got

1:14:55

it right on the foundry. Oh, love it. And I'm

1:14:57

actually going to place him here, just

1:14:59

so... All right.

1:15:01

Is the creature still hidden from me there as cover,

1:15:03

right? Yeah. It's just less recovery.

1:15:05

I gave me up to 15 feet. Let me see, bomb. Um,

1:15:08

okay. And then he

1:15:10

will throw his shock from at it. Okay.

1:15:16

Do you know, you broke these cards. Oh my

1:15:18

gosh. You didn't. Is it a

1:15:21

one? No. Okay. Well,

1:15:23

I thought it was a one. It's still probably going to be a... Oh, God. It's

1:15:26

the best. Okay. You

1:15:29

build these characters, you're like, all right, let me

1:15:31

just like roll good for the first attack. I

1:15:34

just want to come out looking good. I want

1:15:36

to set a tone early on. As how cool.

1:15:38

It's hidden in the trees. It's a tough hit.

1:15:40

You know, it makes sense. It's difficult. So far.

1:15:43

It's very early in this character's career, but

1:15:45

so far, you don't know anything helpful and

1:15:47

you don't hit anything. Oh yeah. By

1:15:49

the way, this knowledge that I gained, you can't benefit from

1:15:52

it. Oh wait. No, you did get

1:15:54

a good roll when he rolled. No, that's actually, that's true. You

1:15:56

know, I can, and I will share with you that they are

1:15:58

weak to electricity. Yeah, you can't say it out loud. Well,

1:16:00

depending on how I roll, I learn things or I just have to come up

1:16:03

with... Okay,

1:16:06

okay. It gets more complicated. But yeah, I'll share

1:16:09

with you that it's weak to electricity, but it's

1:16:11

volatile weak. Did you say what you're playing? You

1:16:15

know. I know. I

1:16:17

know you know. The way you're reacting, I don't

1:16:19

know. I don't know. I know. Do you know

1:16:21

skits? I don't know. Are we

1:16:23

keeping it a mystery or do we want the audience to

1:16:25

learn the game? I've been going to classes, hey. I'll

1:16:29

keep it on the street for now. Okay, okay.

1:16:32

When you hit. I hit. I'll

1:16:34

be watching right now. They know what old

1:16:36

Theo is. But it is Asta. That's actually what his

1:16:38

friend's called. Really? That's what he was

1:16:40

going to call you. He doesn't know that. He doesn't know that either.

1:16:43

Yeah. All right. Asta is going

1:16:45

to, seeing only this one creature,

1:16:48

like to the south, she can't see anything to the

1:16:50

north. She's going to run

1:16:53

15 feet in

1:16:55

front of, to get in front of Brother Ramius and the

1:16:57

group kind of protecting them with her katana out. And

1:17:01

she's going to cast on herself

1:17:04

to prepare. I'm going to

1:17:06

cast Runic Weapon on myself. That

1:17:10

sounds good. So basically

1:17:12

I get like a plus one, basically it's

1:17:14

a plus one striking rune to my katana

1:17:16

for a minute. So I'll get double damage

1:17:18

die and I'll get a plus one to hit. Wow. That's

1:17:21

amazing. Runi Weapon. What?

1:17:24

Runi Weapon? Runi Weapon. Runi

1:17:26

Weapon. Why are swords

1:17:28

so sharp these days? Back

1:17:31

in my day, swords were dolls. That

1:17:34

is a joke for very old people. I'm

1:17:37

right there with you. I understand that. I

1:17:39

understand completely. Andy Rudy used to be on

1:17:41

60 Minutes. It was a good

1:17:44

Andy Rooney impression. You're weekly dose of

1:17:46

just random crankiness. I

1:17:48

didn't get it because I'm young like eight. Well

1:17:51

now I can and I cast that and my

1:17:53

katana actually just starts talking. Oh no. It's

1:17:55

some sentient. No, I did talk like Andy Rudy. Yeah, I

1:17:58

did talk like Andy Rudy. Did you say you moved? in

1:18:00

front of Brother Rameus, 15, and then I cast this. That's

1:18:02

my turn. All right, Hubert Hedges' turn. Oh, I

1:18:04

thought I'd do longer looks if it was going all over

1:18:06

there and out of those trees. I'm

1:18:08

gonna stand right next to Brother

1:18:10

Rameus, and he slides back right

1:18:13

under the lip. Oh, look, I'm in

1:18:15

the thing's mouth. Take a picture. Hey,

1:18:18

do I need something fun? Send

1:18:21

a postcard to Susan. I'm curious, when we

1:18:23

meet people who have played Gatewalkers,

1:18:26

what personality is there Hubert Hedges?

1:18:29

And was it maybe Cuddly? Imagine

1:18:31

not. He exists in the AP,

1:18:33

right? Maybe he does. Maybe

1:18:35

he does. He has artwork. He has

1:18:37

artwork. I do that myself. You're for

1:18:40

doing it. Hubert, Hubert. I'm

1:18:43

breaking the full hole. Is Hubert the game

1:18:45

master? I am. I also got a bottle cap.

1:18:49

I also got a bottle cap. It's the

1:18:51

lizard cat, too, stern. An old

1:18:53

lizard cat, too, is going to move 30 feet right

1:18:57

under the tree near Asta and

1:18:59

Zephyr. And then it's going to

1:19:02

slide five feet up, because to

1:19:04

avoid any provocations. Yeah. Yeah.

1:19:07

You moved your piece? Yeah. To right next to

1:19:09

Brother Rameus? Yes. OK. I think

1:19:11

he said 15 feet from Rameus. Oh, 15 feet's

1:19:13

where he moved. No, no, no. I ran 15

1:19:15

feet. Yeah, to protect you. I thought that my

1:19:17

thing was glitching. Sorry. Gotcha. And

1:19:20

once it moves there, it like crouches

1:19:23

a little bit and like, oh,

1:19:25

and then, pfft. And

1:19:27

a burst of flame goes out.

1:19:31

I need Asta and Zephyr

1:19:33

to actually, I

1:19:36

don't think there's a save on this. Yeah,

1:19:38

you're just going to take damage. What? That

1:19:40

must be nice. That's fun. Yeah.

1:19:42

No save. I prefer abilities that just hit

1:19:45

for damage with no roll. I prefer them

1:19:47

exclusively. A lot of dice. Unless there's rules

1:19:49

for emanations. Yeah,

1:19:51

it doesn't say any save. So. Is

1:19:54

it an ability? You're going to take. Yeah,

1:19:56

it's a two action Johnsky. points

1:20:00

of fire damage and just a fire

1:20:02

blast comes off of this creature. It's

1:20:04

so funny like literally everything we see

1:20:06

is going to kill us. Yeah

1:20:09

we have a... It's not that it's

1:20:11

a hand-barn. It's going to kill us.

1:20:13

Everything... Everything... I'm gonna

1:20:16

give up. That's the point. We're all gonna

1:20:18

die. The other one rushes up towards the

1:20:21

image of barns and

1:20:24

goes to bite the image. I

1:20:27

don't know how this works. So you

1:20:29

tell me I rolled absolute shredded

1:20:31

rocks. 29 to hit. That

1:20:34

is a crit. Alright so walk me

1:20:36

through what happens. Alright, give me the damage. Alright

1:20:38

so... Fire in place.

1:20:43

What is your image? It's not. Is

1:20:45

that you? No,

1:20:48

you can just make it go away. Nope. Oh

1:20:51

I don't agree with that. Really? I

1:20:53

only read it once but...

1:20:55

There are things I can do to make it go away. At

1:20:57

the end of my next turn it will go away. So it's not really

1:21:00

you? It is you? They both count

1:21:02

as me for the purpose. This were

1:21:04

like an area of... I only take the

1:21:06

damage once. Alright.

1:21:08

Okay, alright so it's 10 points of piercing

1:21:10

damage. And then

1:21:12

does this thing... Would this thing

1:21:14

roll fortitude save? Alright so give

1:21:16

me a fortitude save. The

1:21:19

blisters on its back start spreading to

1:21:21

you. Natural 20. Natural 20.

1:21:25

So you are fine there. And

1:21:28

then first action, second action, it will try

1:21:30

to bite one more time with the map and misses

1:21:33

with an 8. Alright

1:21:35

so these things are nasty. And

1:21:38

it is Bugle's turn. Okay.

1:21:41

Bugle is definitely

1:21:43

afraid. Yeah.

1:21:47

So he is

1:21:51

going... He's going to reach

1:21:53

out with his mind and

1:21:55

shoom close a ball of

1:21:57

frost around the...

1:22:00

creature to the south Give

1:22:04

me a reflex save reflex save on

1:22:06

the creature to the south Okay,

1:22:12

that is a pass Who

1:22:21

You take three points of cold damage three

1:22:23

points of cold damage

1:22:25

and then he's going to Cast

1:22:29

shield on himself She'll

1:22:31

close up How

1:22:37

did you know that oh I thought I thought you saw

1:22:39

me measuring really far away and you're like you're gonna run

1:22:42

Your role play from last you couldn't

1:22:44

even get into the good bow again.

1:22:46

I Didn't even

1:22:48

make it there She's

1:22:51

got her bow back This

1:22:54

thing just exploded in front of her She's

1:22:58

gonna try the bow and See

1:23:01

what happens so she's going to step back 25

1:23:03

feet few from

1:23:05

the cat that just Shuck

1:23:08

at her own. It's interesting. So I guess I'm like

1:23:10

under the brush because a Foundry

1:23:13

VTT just like we animated

1:23:15

the trees above everything. Yeah,

1:23:17

that's awesome Cool. Just

1:23:19

cool. Does that mean it has like cover against me

1:23:22

now? I know it's Let

1:23:24

me see where it is there. Yeah, it's gonna

1:23:26

get a plus one to its AC it while

1:23:28

it's hidden under those trees But

1:23:30

if I was right up on it, it wouldn't If

1:23:33

you were right next to it where you

1:23:35

just work decide not to move it won't

1:23:37

get cover You just risk an ao for

1:23:40

taking a ranged attack, but it probably doesn't

1:23:42

have an ao. So those things you go

1:23:44

away Yeah,

1:23:48

so I'm not gonna

1:23:50

move them because I can't afford the Cover

1:23:53

plus one honestly, so

1:23:56

she's gonna stay there and fight with her

1:23:58

55th. Okay, look kick So,

1:24:01

Floria blows the natural

1:24:03

way. Yeah. So,

1:24:05

she sees this cat and she just goes in

1:24:07

with just like a cross

1:24:09

punch. Really generous. Straight to the face. Generous

1:24:12

to call it a cat. Nineteen on the

1:24:14

first one. That's a hit. Oh my

1:24:16

gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh

1:24:18

my gosh. She's back. She's back baby.

1:24:20

Back to back. Back to back. Back

1:24:23

to back. Back to back. Back to

1:24:25

back. Back to back. Alright,

1:24:27

so I'm just going to roll my

1:24:29

second one to see if it hits because the damage is combined.

1:24:32

Sure. So, second one is going to be,

1:24:34

oh my god, one hits two. Whoa. It's

1:24:37

a twenty one. It's two hits. Oh my god.

1:24:40

Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh,

1:24:42

it's a half. It's just like a flat

1:24:44

out like jab cross in this thing's face.

1:24:46

So, that's going to be two D's. Three.

1:24:51

So, that's nine points of

1:24:53

damage total. Nice. Whoa. Plus

1:24:56

stunning fifth. And then I have stunning fifth. I was going to say, I'm

1:24:58

like, don't I have a feat? Do I have stunning fifth? Okay, you said nine points

1:25:01

of damage total. Nine points of damage total. Okay.

1:25:04

And then you're going to roll

1:25:06

a fortitude

1:25:08

save against my class DC. Yeah,

1:25:11

probably a crit successfully. Just make

1:25:13

sure. Twenty three. Regular

1:25:15

success. What

1:25:19

does that mean? I like never hit with this.

1:25:22

And it's an incapacitation effect, but I don't think

1:25:25

you guys, you're that high level.

1:25:27

It's fine. Oh, okay. Nothing

1:25:29

happened. Right. That's why

1:25:31

I thought. Okay. All right.

1:25:33

So, once you hit, that's

1:25:36

the first action. Second action, she goes, holy shit. Holy shit, you guys just

1:25:38

see that? Just kidding. Second

1:25:42

action, she wants to try to do a

1:25:44

knowledge roll against whatever this is. Can it

1:25:46

be nature? Yeah, nature. What

1:25:48

is your bone? My bone is

1:25:50

plus four. You

1:25:55

can do electricity damage. Shoot them. Might

1:25:57

hurt them more, but it might cause a little bit of danger.

1:26:00

Alright, you don't know what these

1:26:02

creatures are, but you sense some

1:26:05

facts about them just by looking.

1:26:07

You're like, wow, if they can

1:26:09

blast fire, they probably have some

1:26:11

resistance to fire. Okay.

1:26:14

So as I'm like, singeing from

1:26:17

just getting blasted, like, if

1:26:19

it uses fire, it probably is strong

1:26:22

against fire. And she's going

1:26:24

to just take like a five foot step,

1:26:28

ten foot step back, just in case those are the

1:26:30

AOL. But she doesn't want

1:26:32

to get that far out of range because this will work

1:26:34

this time. You pull back, doesn't attack

1:26:36

you, perhaps it does not have an

1:26:38

AOL. You guys know that

1:26:40

it has some sort of volatile weakness to

1:26:42

electricity. Do we know what that means? I

1:26:45

assume, I'm assuming things, but I don't know. Yeah,

1:26:47

if you feel like your assumption is on the

1:26:49

right track, like, if you're going to use electricity

1:26:52

damage, make sure it's away from people. Top

1:26:55

of round two, Brother Ramu. Brother

1:26:58

Ramu will kick off the

1:27:00

round by, he's going to

1:27:02

sustain Bless and expand

1:27:04

it to 25 feet. So

1:27:07

now in a 25 feet aura around him, you can

1:27:09

get a plus one to hit. And

1:27:11

then he is going to try to

1:27:14

attack this one that is next to

1:27:16

Asta. So he will

1:27:18

fire a divine Lance at it.

1:27:21

Oh, a bolt screaming

1:27:23

past it into the woods,

1:27:26

hitting dozens of leaves.

1:27:30

No less than a

1:27:32

dozen leaves shredded by this bolt

1:27:35

of pure spirit energy. And

1:27:38

then he yells, fuck! And

1:27:40

his turn is over. And his barn is his turn. OK,

1:27:43

at the beginning of my turn, the

1:27:45

original, the mirror ceases to be. So

1:27:47

however, the one that remains is the

1:27:50

one next to the creature. Oh,

1:27:54

I can decide which one remains. That's cool. What's

1:27:57

that called? It's called... It's

1:28:00

like a free teleport almost. It can function

1:28:03

as a free teleport. Where's McJohn? Here's

1:28:06

McJohn! Barnes will draw a Kukri

1:28:08

first action. Second action. Catch the

1:28:11

lighty end with a mirror. And

1:28:13

another Barnes will appear flanking. Nice.

1:28:16

Oh, nice. Oh, cool. Flankaroo?

1:28:18

Wow, it's like are my eyes playing tricks on me?

1:28:20

What is with the story with this dude? And then

1:28:22

third action, strike with the Kukri. I have a plus

1:28:25

one factor. Oh, and the whole time after he did

1:28:27

this, he said, I think I know. I

1:28:29

think I've seen these before. And he's digging through all the little

1:28:31

pockets in his coat. And he pulls out a small little, like,

1:28:34

and it's like a little shard of a stone

1:28:36

that's like one of those, or a shard of sea

1:28:38

glass that looks like it's in struck by lightning. And

1:28:40

he kind of touches it to the weapon. And he's

1:28:42

like, here we go. And he stabs with the Kukri

1:28:44

for a natural two. Oh, no!

1:28:48

Come on, man. Character

1:28:51

seems so weird when he like does a lot

1:28:53

of stuff and then nothing happens. I hate

1:28:55

RPG. I hate dice. The characters seem so

1:28:57

good. The characters seem so good. Everything about

1:28:59

it. I don't know. The dice isn't so

1:29:01

bad today. I'm feeling good, you guys. Must have been the

1:29:03

sea glass. And

1:29:06

that is his turn. Ofta. What are

1:29:09

you doing? Ofta is going

1:29:11

to, with her katana, PING!

1:29:13

spell strike. There it is. There you go.

1:29:16

I haven't done this in so long. Wow.

1:29:19

At least 30 episodes. At least 30. And

1:29:21

I get a plus one from my striking

1:29:23

rune thing and then a plus one from

1:29:25

the blast. Let's see. Oh,

1:29:27

yeah. That's going to be... Oh,

1:29:30

wait. Why am I counting so much? It's

1:29:33

a 27. You sure? Yeah. Higher,

1:29:36

not lower? Well, hold on. Let me

1:29:38

double check. Yeah. Where's the blast,

1:29:40

the blast? Oh, wait. No, no. It's

1:29:43

a 29. That's a crit. Yeah. That's

1:29:46

a huge different spell crit. Yeah. That's why

1:29:48

I wanted to take your time. Crapo! Crapo!

1:29:50

Crapo! That's supposed to be double

1:29:53

damage across the board here. Wait.

1:29:56

So you get the full benefits of a

1:29:58

plus one striking weapon. Plus the full... spell

1:30:00

all doubled. This is a one

1:30:02

shot kill. This is, first of

1:30:04

all, it's 2d10 plus 4 doubled. So it's 4d10. No,

1:30:08

2d10 plus 4 doubled. Oh, I doubled.

1:30:10

Okay, so let's just figure it out. I could roll really

1:30:12

low. So let's see. Yeah, you could roll for here. I

1:30:14

could roll. It could be 6 points. 4,

1:30:19

10, 14, 18, 36. 36. And then the spell... What

1:30:21

were the two Daishu rolled? 2d10. Oh,

1:30:28

I thought it was 2d4 plus 10. No, no, no. 2d10 plus 3 plus 4. 18

1:30:30

plus 18 is 36. 36. And then the spell

1:30:37

is 3d4 for phase bolt, which

1:30:39

is a spell I cast while

1:30:41

attacking. It's electricity, right? No,

1:30:44

it's piercing. It's piercing. Okay.

1:30:47

So just 3d4 and then double it. Okay, so that's

1:30:51

6, 12. So 36, 48, 48 points of damage.

1:30:54

You annihilate. No

1:31:02

one shot kill. Holy shit. It doesn't

1:31:05

explode or anything. No, you just pierce

1:31:08

it through in one swing. Shocking

1:31:10

it with this phase bolt. And

1:31:14

then she does that awesome thing with the

1:31:16

katana where she just slings off all of

1:31:19

the pustule whatever in blood.

1:31:21

And so that was two actions.

1:31:24

So now third action,

1:31:26

I guess I'm just gonna...

1:31:29

Kill Hubert. He's right behind you. Yeah,

1:31:32

I should just kill Hubert while I

1:31:34

have him. That

1:31:37

was an accident. Wait a

1:31:39

minute, Brother Asa. You're the best.

1:31:42

She's just gonna sprint up next

1:31:45

to... I'll trip Hubert as I go. Next

1:31:47

to... Don't get the head on the elf

1:31:49

statue. Across from Barnes in case he needs

1:31:51

help with this creature. And both Barnes and

1:31:54

News interns you go, hello. Creepy.

1:31:57

And it's Hubert head just turned on. Oh,

1:32:00

I am gonna go look at this carcass. Look

1:32:03

at you, you're a bit of a cat. I

1:32:05

am the lizard. Oh

1:32:09

my god. And it's the other

1:32:11

lizard cat's turn. This thing is

1:32:14

going to attack one of

1:32:16

the two barns. Which one? Actually, you know what it's

1:32:18

gonna do? It's

1:32:20

gonna do a fire blast, which will hurt

1:32:22

both barns. Both barns is double damage. I

1:32:25

don't know how this works, so I'm just

1:32:27

gonna tell you the damage. I've said it's

1:32:29

just one when it's AOE, right? Yes. It's

1:32:31

nine... We're trying to beef it up for

1:32:33

the audience. We're trying to hurry Joe. He

1:32:36

just said actually. Actually, I'm

1:32:38

actually... Nine points of fire damage

1:32:40

to however many people you take damage.

1:32:42

Just the one. This is what? 18

1:32:44

points. This is so fun. Damn

1:32:47

it. I'm gonna get a mirror. And

1:32:49

I'm just gonna be... Brother Raimi, it's all over the place. You

1:32:51

can all do that. This is another Brother Raimi. Is there a

1:32:54

little barns dedication? A little barns

1:32:56

dedication. Barns dedication. Barns de up. Take it with

1:32:58

the cage. With a barns de up. A little

1:33:00

bit of barns de up. And then I'm gonna

1:33:02

bite you with my full bap. 22

1:33:06

to hit. That's a hit.

1:33:08

Couple of outs to go down. Well,

1:33:11

things are gonna happen. We're gonna start with five points

1:33:13

of piercing. That first thing does not have the attack

1:33:15

trait? No. You

1:33:17

know, it doesn't. It's just an aura around it that

1:33:19

it activates. Yeah, it's a five

1:33:21

foot emanation. Now

1:33:25

I need you to roll a fortitude save. Are you

1:33:27

down after five piercing or no? No, but I crit

1:33:29

on the last time I rolled this. Does that matter?

1:33:32

No. Just me. Just me. Sure,

1:33:34

no. Six.

1:33:38

No, it's a natural six for a 13. Okay,

1:33:42

that's a big, big difference.

1:33:44

All right, so you start

1:33:46

like a venom from its bite. You

1:33:49

notice your skin starting to blister right around where

1:33:51

it hits you on the wrist. Like,

1:33:53

blub, blub, blub, blub, blub. They get electricity

1:33:56

postulates. And here's what happens. You

1:33:58

are now weak to fire. fire two,

1:34:00

which means you'll take two damage again

1:34:03

whenever you take fire damage, and you take

1:34:05

another four points of piercing as these things

1:34:08

start to pop. Now I go down.

1:34:10

Oh my god. Oh, japers and ships.

1:34:14

And it wasn't a crit, so you're just

1:34:16

dying one, but the new guy is

1:34:19

going down. What happens if the other one disappears?

1:34:21

Oh boy. Alright, so which one disappears? Let's

1:34:24

say the one closer to the party stays

1:34:26

and the northern one disappears. Okay.

1:34:30

Oh boy. I thought he said he

1:34:32

was out here for months on his own. For

1:34:34

real. Yeah, how many? For real.

1:34:37

Hey, months, five characters were facing off against one.

1:34:39

I was holding my own against this one for

1:34:41

the whole time. And it crit on me. It's

1:34:45

round two. Also, you did that wrong. You

1:34:47

should have done the first thing. You should have hit me first. You'd

1:34:49

give me the weakness to fire, and then- I know. I

1:34:52

thought about that. If both of you would

1:34:54

take damage or not. But yeah, that would have been good

1:34:56

if you failed that, took the extra fire damage. He's

1:34:59

still be dying one. He's a bugle. A new

1:35:01

guy. Oh, they're bugles! Hey,

1:35:04

brother, a tripod's coming down! Yeah,

1:35:06

there's really... All

1:35:11

I can do right now is fire damage because

1:35:13

of the oscillating wave. So

1:35:16

hit Hubert with fire, and then

1:35:18

he's going to reboot your frost. Yeah.

1:35:21

Actually... Maybe it'll still

1:35:23

do damage. It's just not full. Um...

1:35:28

We could hold. I mean... But they

1:35:30

could explode is the problem. That

1:35:33

was electricity. Oh, right. It's resistant

1:35:36

to fire. If you hold, does

1:35:38

it oscillate? Or no, because you haven't spent your

1:35:40

turn. No, I have to.

1:35:42

Um... Yeah,

1:35:45

I'm just gonna hold. You're gonna

1:35:47

hold? Okay. It goes to Zephyr.

1:35:49

Is Zephyr even red hot? Red hot! He's

1:35:52

going to move. 20 feet.

1:35:55

Shneeeep! Right up to this

1:35:58

final existing cat that... We know us.

1:36:01

Great again. Flurry of blows with the

1:36:03

50. Flurry of blows

1:36:05

with the 50. Give yourself a plus one from

1:36:07

Bless. Flurry of blows. Even though I'm now outside of the

1:36:09

50. You expanded it to 25. I expanded it to

1:36:11

25. Oh, you expanded it. Okay, cool. Come

1:36:13

on, credit. It's not a crit. It

1:36:16

might be. It has 27 to hit. With the

1:36:18

Bless. Right, 18 plus 8. Yeah,

1:36:22

27. 27 to hit. 27

1:36:24

to hit. 27 to hit. Regular hit.

1:36:26

So close. So there's that

1:36:28

one, and then the second one is going to be a natural

1:36:30

two. So

1:36:38

it's just the one. So it's

1:36:40

1d6 plus three. Minimum

1:36:43

damage. Four points of damage, and then we're

1:36:45

going to do a 42 save again. If

1:36:50

you already did one. This is a new one. This is

1:36:52

a new one. I can do it every single time,

1:36:54

right? I don't know, but it's critical

1:36:56

success. All right, doesn't matter. So

1:36:59

one, two, got four points

1:37:02

of damage in, and just because she's

1:37:04

seen the AOE thing happen twice now,

1:37:06

she's going to take two

1:37:09

steps back. Two

1:37:12

steps forward and two steps back. Like

1:37:14

a monk, you know, running in, doing

1:37:16

damage, stepping back away. In and out,

1:37:18

in and out, in and out, round three, Brother

1:37:20

Amiens. Brother Amiens.

1:37:22

Well, I'm going to go then. Okay. I'm

1:37:26

going to go ahead and

1:37:29

do a fiery frostbite. Okay.

1:37:32

So, well, I think actually you would have

1:37:34

failed that last save anyway,

1:37:37

last time, but... That's neither

1:37:39

here nor there, given how long it's been. Okay.

1:37:41

Please give me a 42 save. 42 save. Okay.

1:37:46

That is a... It's a save. Yeah,

1:37:49

basic. That's another... That's...

1:37:52

Oh, God. Two points of fire damage. Okay.

1:37:56

So you see it going. and

1:38:00

crackles over its body that doesn't seem

1:38:02

to take any damage. And then I'm going to use...

1:38:07

Uh... Sorry, whatever

1:38:09

the fuck my healing thing is. Restore the

1:38:11

mind. Restore the mind and on Barnes. Oh!

1:38:13

Okay. Sweet! Mmm... One

1:38:17

point of healing. That's all I've needed.

1:38:21

What do you say to him as a new member of the party?

1:38:23

What goes into his mind? Uh...

1:38:26

I... Jesus, I don't

1:38:28

know you very well. Something

1:38:30

very scary is about to happen. Please

1:38:34

don't be afraid and you get

1:38:36

a point of healing.

1:38:40

I'm really good at this right now.

1:38:42

I'm tear-prone, you've dropped your mirror, it's

1:38:44

shattered. But you have one

1:38:46

hit point and you're... Where do you find

1:38:49

another mirror in the jungle? Like on another

1:38:51

planet. Barnes always travels with backup mirrors. Pockets

1:38:53

are full of mirrors. They're mundane. There's so

1:38:55

many mirror shards in his pants. Kind of

1:38:57

dangerous when you think about it. Yeah. See

1:39:00

the frame of the broken mirror says, Love,

1:39:02

Mrs. Barnes. Whoa. Shattered.

1:39:04

Like that. Brother Ramey says, turn it to round three.

1:39:08

Uh... okay. Round three. Broken glass everywhere. Broken glass

1:39:11

everywhere. Watch where you step. Everywhere he looks is

1:39:13

a reflection of everything. He can't see from all

1:39:15

the mirrors. Scattered in the ground. Brother Ramey, be

1:39:17

careful, there's so many of them. Uh...

1:39:20

um... I think he's

1:39:22

gonna go on the offensive here and... Yeah,

1:39:26

I don't know if it's worth... Cause

1:39:29

that fire is just gonna automatically put him

1:39:31

down again. So I feel like I'm gonna

1:39:33

save my hero. Yeah,

1:39:35

uh... He's gonna try to attack the creature.

1:39:38

And then hopefully Asta can finish it off

1:39:40

before it can fire us. Uh... so he

1:39:42

will do a divine lance. Okay. Whoa! You're

1:39:44

gonna slide over to do that? Why

1:39:47

is that? Big head. Big head. Big head in the way. Voggles

1:39:50

was behind the big head. I assumed that it

1:39:52

was under... Like the big heads are

1:39:54

over top of us and we have line of sight under it.

1:39:56

We don't have line of sight? Voggles is there. I... I allowed

1:39:58

it for voggles. It's uh... a lot for you. Sorry,

1:40:01

I just assumed it was like a slim statue at the

1:40:03

bottom or something taller than that. It's a big one. A

1:40:06

really long neck. I don't mind moving.

1:40:08

I'm sorry. I didn't... I'm sorry. I didn't even

1:40:10

look at the map when you said that. I

1:40:12

just assumed yeah. But yeah, now it's much cleaner.

1:40:15

You know what? I can't... I don't want to end up in

1:40:17

a place where it can hit all three of us.

1:40:20

So I think that's enough. That gives me

1:40:22

line of affection for sure. Alright, so Brother

1:40:25

Remus takes a five foot step over and

1:40:27

then we'll fire this divine lamp.

1:40:29

You have a bottle cap. I do

1:40:32

have a bottle cap

1:40:34

actually and I might

1:40:36

use it. This goes all

1:40:38

free. Wow. This goes right over

1:40:40

Barnes. Like just as he wakes

1:40:43

up you see this white spirit

1:40:45

energy go firing. A little spell crit. A spell

1:40:47

crit? A spell crit?

1:40:49

A spell crit? A spell crit? A spell crit? A spell crit?

1:40:51

A spell crit? A spell crit? A spell crit? Oh, a spell

1:40:54

crit? Yeah, I guess I think I'm pretty low on this. I

1:40:56

don't do criticals. Oh, and

1:40:58

that's a magic crit. Yeah.

1:41:00

Alright, this one from Max

1:41:02

in San Diego, California. I

1:41:04

like the title. Max Unlimited

1:41:07

Power. Oh yeah. Deal

1:41:09

normal damage. Okay, Max. Good try. I

1:41:12

got Max. Good try. He should have

1:41:14

been called Min. Moving on.

1:41:16

I don't even care what the ability is. In

1:41:19

addition... Oh, he's

1:41:21

looking up. He's living up to his

1:41:23

neck. Wait

1:41:26

a minute. I'm sorry. I got to

1:41:28

go back to the map. Max,

1:41:30

you fucked up. Deal normal

1:41:32

damage. In addition, this is out

1:41:35

of nowhere. Deal

1:41:37

1d6 electricity damage to the

1:41:39

target of your spell. Oh

1:41:42

shit. Plus 1d6

1:41:44

additional damage per two levels

1:41:46

of the spell. Starting

1:41:48

at level two. I don't know what that means.

1:41:50

It was a cantrip. You may choose to use

1:41:53

these bonuses up to X times 10 by Xd10

1:41:55

by accepting the drained one condition as your

1:41:58

eyes darken and your flesh pass. I

1:42:01

can like you can I can amp my

1:42:03

damn That's very you

1:42:06

may choose to up these bonuses to a

1:42:08

d10 by accepting the drained one condition as

1:42:10

your eyes darken your flesh But I'm gonna

1:42:12

do that Yeah,

1:42:14

Matt. I have to I have to

1:42:16

joy so fast One

1:42:20

d6 electrical damage and 1d6 additional damage

1:42:22

per two levels starting at level two

1:42:24

So that means the lower level spells

1:42:27

do not get that other bonus So

1:42:29

it's just one d10 bonus electricity damage, which

1:42:31

is going to go which is gonna put him

1:42:33

down to him This is amazing roll your normal

1:42:35

damage for a Yes,

1:42:37

so I'm going to reroll my normal damage

1:42:39

It's ball tunnel damage so normal

1:42:42

damage is five spirit Okay,

1:42:44

five spirit damage, and then we get

1:42:47

my North Foundry Joe d10. I've never

1:42:49

rolled this and This

1:42:52

is electricity just double reading everything

1:42:54

is money does electricity come on

1:42:56

four points of electricity damage, okay?

1:42:58

And so at that point Worked

1:43:02

up here as you hit

1:43:04

it with this it now has to roll a

1:43:06

fortitude save to see if it can contain its

1:43:08

fire blast On

1:43:11

a failure the fire goes that

1:43:14

will hit brother, Rami Begins to

1:43:16

wither his eyes sink into his head. He's

1:43:18

like So sick of this

1:43:20

bullshit And I

1:43:22

made the fortitude save exactly whoa

1:43:24

it does not do the fire

1:43:26

blast okay taken Again

1:43:31

Okay, all right, but you did a lot of

1:43:33

damage. Yeah, that was great That's awesome because it

1:43:35

did it triggered weakness right so what it triggered

1:43:37

it triggered additional damage, or does it just trigger

1:43:40

the that's right I mean it's five weeks another

1:43:42

yeah, it's not five, but yet. It'll take Died

1:43:49

it's totally done like We

1:43:52

actually know what the weakness is I should know what the reason

1:43:54

is electricity to okay, okay? That's

1:43:56

great. I'll take it a little to bounce a little to

1:43:58

bone no bone It's bones.

1:44:00

It actually bones you went down back. Oh,

1:44:02

you're yeah, but you would move an initiative

1:44:04

sure Right before the

1:44:06

kitty cat. I apologize. I have to

1:44:09

reroll my damage. Sorry sloppy Sloppy

1:44:12

pad was lower three. I

1:44:15

rolled a d8. I couldn't tell the difference

1:44:17

Okay, what's the difference one you took one

1:44:19

less damage? Okay. Hey Joe Why

1:44:22

I could have rolled higher and I wanted to make sure I

1:44:24

had the right that I was just turned out of a neutral

1:44:26

Liar, I want to look at all of your die rolls. I

1:44:29

Never lie. You can tell because I do

1:44:31

bad She was

1:44:33

out because I rarely succeed. Yeah, she was lying. She'd

1:44:35

be way better. I do wait. I'm either a bad

1:44:37

liar I just don't know what I'm doing. That's what

1:44:39

someone in the CIA would say What

1:44:44

it's just ask your handlers what you roll I

1:44:50

Thought that you were gonna go before me and I assumed you

1:44:52

were gonna move away Should

1:44:54

I hold so you can get out of there because

1:44:56

I don't want it to explode on you They don't

1:44:58

want to expose up with electricity. I was gonna

1:45:01

maybe shoot. Oh, you're gonna do electricity damage. I

1:45:03

was gonna maybe You

1:45:05

know what? Delay now, I'll

1:45:07

just run up Yeah,

1:45:10

I'll just run up. I don't know why you're talking yourself out of

1:45:12

it. It seems like a really good idea No, cuz it's just my

1:45:14

Fox fire. It's not a lot of damage. It's like 1d4 It's

1:45:17

my right, but he's got one additional two point additional

1:45:19

put two points of damage on there Yeah,

1:45:21

but I'm much more caught he does he is prone

1:45:23

so he can't just get out of there. It's not

1:45:25

that easy All right. I'm just gonna run up. I'm

1:45:28

I'm just gonna use my katana All

1:45:30

right. I'm going to run up and take a

1:45:32

melee attack. Yeah, I'm guessing If

1:45:34

you have the movements again to flanking it. Oh, yeah So

1:45:38

when you got out, it'll be sure now it's

1:45:40

the perfect time to use your focus spell It

1:45:42

will not only teleport you there you get a

1:45:44

free strike. It recharges your spell strike Well,

1:45:47

I've got a suggestion like all those things

1:45:49

at once pop up thing Yeah, but

1:45:51

also like we just woke up and

1:45:54

like can recharge it. Oh, I can't oh it's

1:45:56

a conflict spell So I can refocus. Yeah with

1:45:59

my focus people I forgot it's

1:46:01

my complex because it basically wants a combat. I

1:46:03

don't want to waste it. Okay. Yeah so

1:46:05

I'm gonna do my dimensional assault done which is way

1:46:08

more fun and I Reappear

1:46:11

and just stab into the top

1:46:13

of the creature and you're still

1:46:15

exactly in blessed range because I moved

1:46:18

That's the blast and it's off guard and

1:46:20

I have my striking still nothing could stop

1:46:22

you from meeting No Natty

1:46:30

19 Is

1:46:40

a crash all right. Oh, I got

1:46:42

so excited. Here we go. Here we

1:46:45

go Here I go. Here I go.

1:46:47

Here I go again. Oh I

1:46:49

forgot you have a runic weapon. That's so amazing. Yeah, 9 10 11 12

1:46:52

12. So that's 24

1:46:56

24 24 points

1:46:59

of damage points of damage you and I Body

1:47:05

of the lizard cat slumps over

1:47:07

Barnes's body and bleeds out

1:47:19

That was fun that was fun, that was

1:47:21

fun, that was fun. It would have been

1:47:23

fun It's

1:47:35

time to make your membership official

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become an official member of the

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nation.com Welcome

1:48:16

to a journey into the heart of the

1:48:19

Texas Renaissance Festival, the nation's

1:48:21

largest and rowdiest celebration of

1:48:23

medieval fantasy. But what

1:48:25

lurks beneath the facade of tights and turkey legs? Well,

1:48:28

we dove deep into the empire to

1:48:30

uncover a history marred by mystery and

1:48:32

misconduct, murders, assaults, and other

1:48:34

crimes that tarnish its legacy. This isn't

1:48:36

just a fairy tale, it's a cautionary

1:48:39

tale of power, fantasy, and the consequences

1:48:41

that follow when they all collide. Search

1:48:44

for Crimewaves Renaissance, Texas on Apple

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Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you're listening

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now.