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Gatewalkers Episode 41 – Highway to Well

Gatewalkers Episode 41 – Highway to Well

Released Friday, 28th June 2024
Good episode? Give it some love!
Gatewalkers Episode 41 – Highway to Well

Gatewalkers Episode 41 – Highway to Well

Gatewalkers Episode 41 – Highway to Well

Gatewalkers Episode 41 – Highway to Well

Friday, 28th June 2024
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Episode Transcript

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savings and more inspiring flavors. This

1:27

is their way to maybe get us back to

1:29

our world. Yes,

1:57

she is starting to with her. No. Oh.

2:00

Oh no! A

2:30

group of these elves walk

2:32

you past these huge trees

2:35

with gnarled branches that loom

2:37

over a wide

2:39

circular stone well to a natural

2:41

stone passageway at the bottom of

2:44

the well that continues to descend

2:46

and twists out of sight. Tell

2:49

my mother, I

2:51

said hello. The

2:54

adventure continues... No!

3:26

Hey everybody, welcome back to the

3:28

Glass Cannon Podcast. You know what

3:30

I did yesterday that

3:38

I haven't done in a long, long, long time? Take

3:46

a shower. Shut

3:49

up! You smell.

3:51

You're oddly close now. You're

3:54

oddly close. Wait, I was gonna say, take a

3:56

bath. Nope, not in a different

3:58

direction. I took a steam. Oh,

4:00

Schvitz. Yeah, Schvitz, I guess you could call it

4:02

a Schvitz. You go to a bathhouse? Yeah, I

4:04

went to a Turkish bathhouse. No,

4:07

my gym earlier in the

4:09

year installed the pool and the...because when they

4:11

opened, they didn't have the pool ready yet,

4:14

the pool was opened and a steam room

4:16

and a sauna. So I was like, let's

4:18

go. I love a good sauna, love a

4:20

good steam. Love it. And

4:23

so I went to check it out. A couple

4:25

months ago, I look in and it's all co-ed.

4:28

It was like a co-ed steam room and a co-ed sauna. And

4:30

I'm like, I don't know how I feel about that.

4:32

It's a little weird. What is this, Starship Troopers? It's

4:34

a little strange. I'm like, am I walking there and

4:36

see a bunch of dongs or you might

4:38

get lucky? And I'm like, I don't know. I don't know why I

4:40

don't want to take a chance. Really? Is everyone

4:42

naked? Anybody with their towels? Well, I don't know

4:44

what the deal is. So I was like, plus I

4:47

got to bring an extra...I can't go in there in

4:49

my workout clothes. I got to bring a bathing suit.

4:51

I got to bring a towel. I got to bring

4:53

all this shit. I like to bring my keys and

4:55

my AirPods and that's it, my phone. That's it.

4:57

Now I got to bring all this extra shit. No, you don't bring the AirPods.

4:59

You just bring the AirPods so you can just put them in and pretend like

5:02

no one's there. Yeah, I do that all the time. There's

5:04

times like my AirPods die and I just leave them in

5:06

so nobody looks at me. But

5:08

I have to bring flip-flops. It's a whole thing. But I said, you

5:10

know what? I'm going to check out the steam. I'm going to do

5:12

it. I don't care who's in there. I had

5:15

the whole place to myself until about 10 minutes in another dude

5:17

came in. And I think he was in his

5:19

underwear, which was a little weird. But the thing about

5:21

the steam room is you can't really see more than

5:23

five feet away. You could have been beaten

5:25

off. I wouldn't even know. So he was concealed

5:27

or hidden? He was concealed to

5:30

me. Yeah, concealed. No, he was more than

5:32

five feet away, so he'd be hidden. Perhaps. I

5:34

think if I went to punch him in the face, I would probably land. Land

5:37

the blood. Probably sock him. Flat check.

5:39

Yeah, a little flat check. Such a

5:41

nervous. Such a nervous

5:43

thing in real life. Do

5:45

you guys like a steam or a sauna? Yeah, yeah.

5:48

Yeah, it's good to get toxins out. The Airbnb has

5:50

a sauna cabinet in there. Shut

5:54

the fuck up. I thought you were in one

5:56

of our hotels. No, no, no, no. No, but

5:58

it's right in the Airbnb. It was great.

6:00

I love both. I think I might

6:03

prefer a steam to a dry sauna.

6:05

The dry sauna sometimes they get a

6:07

little too much quickly. Yes. We'll get

6:09

you in a second. You're confused. I know. As soon as you said-

6:11

I'd like to ask a question. OK. It's just a clarifying question. Joe

6:13

doesn't know the difference. I was just going to say one thing before.

6:15

No idea what the difference is. Yeah. I don't know

6:17

the difference. When you were talking, Joe went- I'm

6:21

not a sweating connoisseur. A sauna, it's everything's

6:23

not a rich asshole. OK. That

6:25

has a gym member in

6:27

it. Gym member. A

6:30

sauna is usually wood paneled, and you sit

6:32

down. There's hot coals, and it's just really

6:34

hot in there. But you can see everything.

6:36

You pour water on the coals. Sometimes it'll

6:38

be steam. So you sweat in there. You

6:40

sweat in there. And sometimes there's limited steam.

6:42

Very limited steam. But it's not just only

6:45

steam. It's temperature controlled, 120 degrees or whatever.

6:48

Steam room you go in, and it's

6:50

steam. And it's tiled. It's like a

6:52

shower tile. It's like wet. It's

6:54

wet. It's wet. What's the difference? Wet. In terms of

6:56

the effect on you. One is more moisture. I feel like

6:58

we're trying to. It's that moment in the Isle of

7:00

Lucy, when there are two words in the English language that

7:02

you should never use. One of them is lousy, and

7:04

one of them is swell. Lucy's like,

7:06

so what are they? I feel like that's Joe

7:08

in this moment. It's

7:11

a dry heat versus a wet heat, but I don't

7:13

know what the difference in the health benefits are. I

7:15

just know. I mean, I love a sauna. Don't get

7:17

me wrong. But a steam room is nice because you

7:19

get all that steam. You can inhale. But this is

7:21

what I was going to say before he jumped in.

7:24

Usually there's like a menthol eucalyptus situation going on

7:26

in there. And you inhale that. You're like, oh,

7:28

let's fucking go clear my sinuses. It smelled bad.

7:30

There was none of that. And so I was

7:32

like, oh, this kind of sucks. I was trying

7:34

to do some deep breathing. Let me get this

7:37

straight. The coed steam room, which you

7:39

were like, I'm not sure what I'm going to see in

7:41

there. I could have told you

7:43

in advance. Zero hot chicks, and

7:45

it was going to smell. Well, usually there's

7:47

eucalyptus. There

7:50

was no. For the future. One

7:52

old guy in white, tidy whiteys. And

7:55

it smells like fucks. Just smoking a

7:57

menthol. You don't travel with your own eucalyptus. I

7:59

guess I should. I'm like, is this frowned

8:01

upon? I brought a bag of little ladies on fire.

8:03

What did I hang by, eucalyptus? If

8:06

you don't like the co-ed thing, though, there's

8:08

a place in Jersey called King Spa. And

8:10

it's a Korean spa. And they have tons

8:12

of stuff. I was like, just drive an hour and a half instead

8:14

of using my free gym. Shh. Wait, let me

8:16

write this down. Also, I'm curious when he said

8:18

he didn't like the co-ed thing. I didn't think

8:20

that was the problem. But it's like separated

8:23

when you go in. So like the women go together,

8:25

the men go together, and it's. All spas are like,

8:27

all spas. Are they? I don't know. But it's like

8:29

a traditional. I don't know if he has to go to Korea to find a

8:31

gender. I could go

8:33

to literally any spa that's usually separated. Oh, I didn't know

8:35

that. I just thought it was a thing. You've been to the

8:37

Russian Turkish baths? That feels like a great thing to do. No,

8:39

I haven't been to that. I'm always afraid it's going to end

8:42

up. That's co-ed, right? Yeah. Hand jobs. I

8:45

don't even want to be offered. You don't

8:47

want to be offered a hand job? No, I don't want to

8:49

be offered a hand job. Maybe it's rude to say no? Just

8:51

put your AirPods in. Just go ahead and be put up as

8:53

well. Oh, that guy doesn't want a hand job. You love your

8:55

job? Good. Me too.

8:58

I don't like anyone. I

9:01

mean, I might be leaving to conclusions here, but

9:04

I feel like most people who are giving professional hand

9:06

jobs would prefer that you decline. We

9:08

had a buddy. Oh,

9:10

you can't. Who loves a kid.

9:12

You can't rather talk. And

9:15

he would tell these stories that

9:17

would turn your hair white. Like

9:21

a block away from here is a place. Don't

9:25

want to know. My hair is already turning white. I

9:27

was like, that exists in my neighborhood back when

9:30

I lived here. I was like, yeah. Oh my

9:32

god. I wish I could tell these stories. The

9:35

thoroughness with which she. What

9:38

were you going to say? The reason I like

9:40

spas is I like the baths. Like

9:42

a literal bath house. I went to

9:44

one in Manhattan for a birthday present.

9:47

And it's just like all different pools. Like

9:49

just different pools of water. It's fun.

9:51

Are they all public? I mean,

9:53

you have to pay to get it. So no. But like.

9:56

But there's a bunch of other people in every pool. But it's

9:58

limited. But this one was like. Are they all hot? The

10:00

people? The pool. Temperature? Are they naked?

10:03

Yes. No, but it's like

10:05

they'll have like a salt one, you know, and like

10:07

you float in it. It's really crazy. And then they

10:09

have like a deep plunge one that you like jump

10:11

in and that's kind of tepid water. And then you

10:13

go to like a really hot one and you're supposed

10:15

to do all these different, like a cold plunge and

10:18

then a hot plunge and all this stuff. I like

10:20

that. Yeah. More than I like sitting in

10:22

a sauna. I just get bored. I'm just like, oh, I'm so

10:24

sweaty and bored. What are you doing there? You just sit? Can

10:27

you have your phone out or is that a problem? Because it's gonna get all hot.

10:30

The guy next to me had a phone. I heard him tap tapping

10:32

away. I'm like, what are you doing, man? Your phone's gonna get ruined

10:34

by being so sweaty. So you just have to like relax. Yeah, like

10:36

if you're good at meditating, I think this would be the place

10:38

for you. Yeah. It's

10:41

like a willpower test too because the hot saunas

10:43

are like, you know, like your lips start to

10:45

get hot. Like your salty like sweat starts to

10:47

heat up on your own skin. It's a crazy

10:49

feeling. I mean, I felt like a million bucks

10:51

when I came out of there. I went in,

10:54

took a very, very cold shower. It was like

10:56

counting. It's gonna hold my... Get the circulation. Get

10:58

the circulation. Cold plunges are all the rage right

11:00

now. Yeah, people love them. Ice baths. Yeah, I

11:02

mean, sign me up. I love it. 99

11:04

bucks, get one of those fucking things. I'm like a

11:07

year or two away from having a fucking sauna,

11:09

a hot tub and a cold plunge in the

11:11

backyard. I'm gonna be that guy because I love

11:13

it. I don't understand it. I love all of

11:15

it. I don't understand it. It's a really popular

11:17

upstate to have like a sauna on your property.

11:19

Oh, common upstate then. I hate sweating. I don't

11:21

like being uncomfortable. I don't like being too cold.

11:24

And this just sounds like varying like different levels

11:26

of uncomfortable. And you're like, ooh, let me try

11:28

this out for a while and not have

11:30

my phone. I mean, yeah, let me get

11:32

a room that the whole purpose is let me see

11:34

how long I can stand being in here. Sit here

11:36

with my thoughts about how uncomfortable I am and then

11:38

be different type of uncomfortable in the next room and...

11:40

At King Spa, there's one sauna because

11:43

King Spa has all these different hot rooms. There's

11:45

like the amethyst room, the salt room, and you

11:47

just go in and they're just like saunas. One,

11:49

forget what the temperature was. It's like 200 something

11:52

degrees Fahrenheit. Oh, yes. And you can't wear

11:55

any synthetic materials. They give you clothes to

11:57

wear because it'll like adhere to

11:59

your body. you can't wear jewelry and they

12:01

give you a burlap sack and you go

12:04

in and you like put the burlap sack

12:06

around you and you just sit there like

12:08

a monk and you just contemplate.

12:10

And you felt like a million dollars when you were

12:12

done. I don't get it. No, I thought

12:14

I was losing my mind. Follow up question. It's like

12:16

being in a yurt. Yeah. Can

12:19

you wear contacts? Oh, I

12:21

don't know. I don't wear contacts. They might wear an

12:23

interior eye. Not if it's 200 degrees. Yeah, I don't

12:25

think. I was closing my eyes too. Like I was

12:27

just like. By the way, not 200 degrees. Okay. That

12:30

would be cooking you. You would be

12:33

cooking, slow cooking. Hottest, dry sauna. Very

12:35

hot. I'm sure it's quite hot.

12:37

Especially with the burlap sack. But it's not. Billy

12:39

had the burlap sack. It's gonna add a few degrees. All right, 100

12:41

something. That's what I'm saying. So it's

12:43

like every song. You can start cooking something like 140. I'm

12:45

sure it's short of lethal, which 200 degrees would certainly be.

12:48

I don't know. Sydney keeps bringing up these

12:50

specific specialty places that are just like every

12:52

other one. The ideal temperature 150 to 195

12:54

degrees Fahrenheit. So

12:56

it does get quite hot. That is hot. Yeah.

13:00

It's not uncomfortable when you know you're like

13:02

going into it for an experience. You're like,

13:04

I'm gonna shower afterwards. It's not like I'm

13:07

gonna go give a lecture somewhere, like soaked.

13:09

You're doing it and you come out and

13:11

then you get that. I mean, I felt

13:13

great all day into today. Except for my

13:15

eye, which has been twitching uncontrollably for three

13:17

weeks straight. Oh no. You gotta drink more

13:20

water. That's the worst. I'm probably not drinking

13:22

enough water. I drink a lot of coffee

13:24

and there's water in that. That's, no, how

13:26

that works. That's a sign. I don't know

13:28

how that works. You just gotta

13:30

like not be so stressed out. Just relax.

13:32

I don't feel stressed. Stop feeling stressed. I

13:34

know. That's the thing is I don't feel

13:36

stressed. I'm not getting as

13:38

much sleep anymore now that I wake up so early, but

13:41

I don't feel stressed. I feel really good, but my eye

13:43

is telling me different. The lack of sleep thing will do

13:45

crazy things. Might be the sleep thing. Might

13:47

be the sleep thing. Anyways, you've never been in a steam, huh?

13:49

Never said I'm going to adopt a sauna. I think I sat

13:51

in a sauna once. Okay. I think I

13:53

was in a sauna once and yeah, it was like, this is

13:55

really hot. It was cool though. You know, it was like, you

13:57

feel like you're sitting there trying to sweat out the bed. or

14:00

whatever. Get it all out. Yeah, but is

14:02

it all nonsense? No, man, it's good for you.

14:04

What bad shit is in there? I like it. There's a lot of

14:06

bad shit in there. You ever do the... Why

14:09

don't you just go for a jog? Sweat it

14:11

out. The lemonade. You do that first. What was the

14:13

lemonade, Cleans? Remember the lemonade phase? Yeah, you were at

14:15

lemonade with Tabasco. Yeah, what the fuck was that called?

14:17

You were at the cayenne pepper, right? Cayenne, not Tabasco.

14:19

So I did it. I've done it twice. I mean,

14:21

this was a long time ago, but the first time

14:23

I did it, it was amazing.

14:25

It was like a spiritual experience. You fast

14:27

for 10 days and all you can have

14:30

is this homemade lemonade, which is like distilled

14:32

water, lemons, cayenne pepper, and like

14:34

grade B maple syrup. But

14:36

the other part of the experiment is that every

14:39

morning you drink 32 ounces of water with

14:42

this Celtic sea salt in it, and you

14:45

cannot leave the house for an hour and

14:47

a half because what happens, especially the first

14:49

time there's a lemonade cleanse, is

14:51

that you shoot black water out of your

14:53

ass for an

14:56

hour and a half straight. For

14:58

10 days, every morning you do it, you're like, you

15:00

cannot leave the house. And it is the most

15:02

purifying feeling because like I did it

15:04

in my 30s, right? So it's 30

15:06

years of buildup just like, whoosh, when

15:09

I did it again, like a couple years later, it

15:11

wasn't as dirty in there because it was not as

15:13

much buildup. But the things

15:15

that come out of you, holy

15:17

shit. You belong in LA. I

15:20

don't know why. It's such a weird

15:22

treat you have. This whole like, so

15:24

holistic health, like do. I love it.

15:26

It's like making a random sim that's

15:28

like sporty and like from Boston, but

15:30

then they also have this weird high

15:32

maintenance health trait that's out of nowhere.

15:35

Well, you know, you get older and you

15:37

realize like, tick, tick, talk, only

15:39

so much time left. Tick, tick, tock. Yeah, but

15:41

you talk. No, he wouldn't work

15:44

in LA. It doesn't work because he

15:46

swings so far the other way.

15:48

Like he's also horrifying to

15:51

his body when we're on tour, like we're

15:53

on and out. He does

15:55

some of the most terrible things and he drags

15:57

you with them. He's like, do this to yourself.

16:00

Don't hurt yourself. That's the one little

16:02

window I have to enjoy a nice

16:04

little cocktail. Stay up till 3am. Drink this 10%

16:06

or... That's not enjoying

16:08

a nice little cocktail. A little tipple.

16:11

A little tipple. It's not a little tipple. We all

16:13

have our vices. I

16:16

like a good drink. My

16:19

in-laws are in town and they're retired,

16:21

so they like having a couple cocktails

16:23

too. This is my wife's dad. And

16:26

they had a bottle of Captain. I was like,

16:29

let's fucking go. I love Captain. Last night we

16:31

were playing Wingspan. I'm like, I'm having a Captain

16:33

to diet. Let's go. I pour it. A nice

16:35

cocktail on Wingspan. A sofa. Oh

16:37

my God. So I pour it. I'm like,

16:41

man, this is... Captain

16:43

tastes funny. He goes, oh, that's the

16:45

100 proof Captain. I was like, what the hell

16:47

are you guys doing drinking 100 proof Captain? I

16:50

mean, it was a bottle this big. It's

16:52

normally 70 proof. So this was

16:54

like having a high end bourbon. This

16:57

Captain is something you sip. Yeah, it's a

16:59

real sip and whiskey. Sip and rum. Anyways,

17:02

shout out to our new sponsor, Captain Morgan 100

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for sponsoring this episode. We

19:38

should have an episode where we just

19:40

sip on like cocktails, like a real strong

19:44

cocktail. That'd be fun. There's nothing wrong with

19:46

that. Yeah. We'll do that. We really

19:48

need a martini. It's like martinis all over the place.

19:50

The old studio had a kitchen. We could have, we

19:52

never really set up a nice bar. We always had

19:54

whiskey in there, but like, well, we got to do

19:56

something with some like flair. We need some caterers. in

20:00

here, like a real professional bartender.

20:02

I can make some cocktails. We have two. Well, I

20:04

know, but you guys have other things too. Yeah,

20:07

but they need to be here when we're recording. No, exactly.

20:09

Walk around. They're like, staying around the

20:11

background, the hover with like Matt. I have

20:13

a friend. They're like the ball boys, and when our

20:15

drink is empty, they like sprint in, like pour another

20:18

drink and sprint back out. We should

20:20

have an onset private chef slash barista

20:22

slash bartender that is just here for

20:24

our needs. Anna Massouse. Obviously

20:26

Anna Massouse. Who comes up behind us while we record, when we

20:29

get scared. Plunge pool installed in here.

20:31

And a song. And a slide.

20:33

That's great. Slide down. The

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only way we're gonna be able to do this is

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if you sign up for our 30 day free trial.

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Did you know that you can get 30 days

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plane. Keeping these lights

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on. Lot

21:26

went on last week. You guys

21:29

have listened to that episode recently,

21:31

some of you. I'm

21:33

tempted to hear your thoughts

21:35

on what happened last week

21:38

before I give my sort

21:40

of recap, as

21:42

it were. Who would

21:44

like to- Can we go in a circle? Can we all-

21:46

Yeah, can I- You listened? Can we do a

21:48

sentence? Nice. Start it off. Wait, I

21:51

wanna start. Oh, you're gonna start? We're on

21:53

a fucking other planet. Yeah. I

21:55

was right the whole time. Never saw that happen. Did not

21:57

see it. I called it immediately. You did not say

21:59

that. She did, I did. As soon

22:01

as we saw the map, I was like, this is cash for

22:03

now. You read it online on Reddit and now I'm

22:06

figuring it out. No, I didn't, I swear. I remember

22:08

this very clearly. Unbelievable. The

22:11

actual person who said it first was Skid. And

22:16

Skid gets a bottle. Are you serious? Wow.

22:18

I swear, if I could flip

22:20

this table, I would flip it. Sometimes I

22:22

remember myself as Kate. She's

22:27

trying to flip the table. Oh, she's trying to flip it.

22:29

This table weighs like a metric ton. Yeah.

22:33

Oh my God, she's so mad. It was, it really was

22:35

Skid when we- We were all thinking, we've all been there

22:37

before. But Skid was the first one to say it, and

22:39

then you said it at the beginning of the next episode.

22:41

No, no. Watch the video

22:43

tape, it's true. I think we gotta go back. I

22:45

made a note. You need receipts. Bring your receipts. I

22:47

will, I'll go get them. Like I did the last

22:49

time. What

22:52

will happen if Kate brings the receipts? I

22:54

will give- This network- Skid will have to hand that

22:56

bottle. Can't handle another reunion child. You

23:00

did say it, but Skid said it first.

23:02

And that's how it's like Skid was

23:05

spoiled on this. You're just trying to pit

23:07

us against each other. Listen, I would love to give you a cap.

23:09

Lord knows you need them. But I'd love

23:11

to give you a cap. Skid heard

23:13

that one. But listen, you are on

23:15

Castroville. You're on another planet. You make

23:17

first contact with these elves. You

23:19

are in Los Quia Lua. They

23:22

are the Oascha. They are the

23:24

astronomers, the sort of individation magic

23:26

and studying the stars. As

23:28

we learned in cannon fodder, the constellations they

23:30

see are the same that you would see

23:33

if you were on Galarian. The constellations do

23:35

not change. However, you are

23:37

not in Kansas anymore. You

23:39

guys want to fill in the blanks? You want me to keep going? Yes. Yeah,

23:43

our first contact situation went really well.

23:45

Yeah, shockingly well. They knew we were

23:48

from Galarian, one woman in

23:50

particular. Yes, A-Lelly. That

23:53

we were from the Blue Planet. She

23:55

was like, I recognize your accents. Your

23:58

language. Yeah, speaking common. And

24:01

basically, she got a message

24:03

from Sakawachi, who was an

24:05

Oracle, Sakawachi. Sakawachi,

24:07

who's an Oracle in Skywatch,

24:10

which is a city in Brevoi. And

24:12

they have a big observatory, and so

24:15

does this city in Los

24:17

Quilura. Los Quilura. Los Quilura,

24:19

oh boy. Los Quilura. So

24:21

she basically was in contact with this other person.

24:24

Just call it LA. LA. The

24:26

LA, remember. We're in LA. The

24:29

Griffith Park Observatory. That's... And

24:32

things were going really well. And we were

24:34

really getting along, and she was like, basically,

24:36

I think I can get you back home

24:38

if we can open up this portal. And

24:41

Zephyr was like, no worries. I have

24:43

a key that does that. Oh, let

24:45

me see. Oh, I forgot. And then...

24:47

This is what I remember from the

24:49

first contact situation. Oh, Lily grabbed the

24:51

key and then started dying

24:53

immediately. She's cursed. And then we

24:55

were shriveling up, and then we

24:57

realized it's probably the Abnoebulate Curse,

25:00

which we don't really think about. And

25:02

then her... What's his name?

25:05

I said his name wrong. Genthiel. Genthiel.

25:07

Genthiel. Genthiel. Or their name.

25:09

Genthiel got really mad, and

25:12

was basically like, you need to go

25:14

talk to my mom who's dead. No.

25:18

Dead 100 years or so? Yeah. I

25:21

like that they were like, oh yeah, she's

25:23

been dead 100 years. I haven't even been to visit her

25:25

grave like 80. Yeah. And

25:27

now we desperately need her help.

25:30

Can you go? Yeah. Can you

25:32

guys go? And he was like, I can't come though.

25:34

Peace. But yeah, so

25:36

they were like, you can go down to this

25:38

Grove area and go talk to my mom to

25:41

save a Lely to get

25:43

you home. And that's basically our only

25:45

option now. And Hubert pissed

25:48

off a cliff and everyone got upset.

25:51

And pooped. Oh, pooped. I

25:54

think that's what maybe a little bit more upset.

25:56

I also think he was pleasuring himself over the

25:58

cliff onto the beach. No. You never

26:01

said that. Yes. I don't think so. If

26:03

you listen, you hear him say, I'm raining,

26:05

raining babies on the beach. That's not what

26:07

happens. Listen back to the tape. I assumed

26:09

he just didn't understand the difference between urine

26:11

and semen. I think it was pretty

26:13

clear in my mind what he was doing. But

26:16

one other thing is, Genteel, when

26:19

examining a Lelli's situation, said,

26:21

I've experienced this psychic signature once before.

26:23

My mother, Iscariel, revealed it to me

26:25

so that I would recognize it again

26:28

if such a time should come. It's

26:30

the imprint of a soil, the

26:33

black frost whale. His

26:35

mother was a healer and part of

26:37

a secret society, a society

26:40

that was tasked with remembering

26:42

the elves' campaign against this

26:45

soil. Even

26:47

Genteel doesn't know what that entailed. So

26:49

if there's any hope of removing this

26:51

curse from a Lelli, maybe curing the

26:53

Abnubla curse altogether, as well as getting

26:55

you home, since a Lelli is the

26:57

one that has made contact with this

26:59

Sakawachi on Galarian and is the head

27:02

astronomer that could possibly open up some

27:04

sort of pathway for you to get

27:06

home, you need to go to

27:08

this grove to speak with his dead mother. We

27:16

also found out that in the grove, or

27:19

the grove is protected by guardians,

27:22

extra planar guardians that

27:25

hold these memories in safekeeping

27:29

the memories of their great ancestors. And

27:31

so supposedly they're just keeping

27:34

out monsters and other enemies

27:37

in the deep. It seems that there

27:39

might be like intelligent civilizations

27:41

down here that are, I

27:44

don't know, I call them drowish. I don't

27:46

know, we'll see. But like, it sounds like

27:48

there's people that live underground. And

27:51

so I don't know what exactly that means. And

27:53

also extra planar guardian. Did you say that extra

27:55

planar guardians? Yes. Oh,

27:57

a memory cache, the memory cache. Memory cache.

28:00

Like most Troy NPCs, they were

28:03

deliberately vague when they could give

28:05

more information about the evidence. He's never been there.

28:07

I think he gave you a lot of crazy

28:09

that he's never been there for dead money. He

28:11

didn't tell us. They are scholars. They are not

28:13

adventurers. And it is dangerous. The road to the

28:15

memory cache is fraught with peril. Why

28:17

did they bury his mom there? That was one thing

28:20

that's common to the elf society. They

28:22

only bury their dead in places that are really,

28:24

really dangerous to reach. Just over a

28:26

century ago, the former elves

28:28

took her down there because of the

28:30

memories that she possessed. It was important.

28:32

She was the last one. She was

28:34

the last one, yeah. And

28:36

since then, no one from this generation has

28:38

gone down. Wonder if elves' generations work the

28:40

same as we do, like every 20 years

28:42

or is it every like 150? How

28:46

often do they percreate? What's

28:49

their trend cycle like? They could bang anytime they

28:51

want. They could bang anytime, but when

28:53

do they want it? When do they, like, when do they

28:55

start feeling that kind of biological clock? Oh

28:57

yeah. Like around 200, like I

28:59

really need to have a baby soon. Or

29:02

if we knew what kind of music they were into,

29:04

we'd be able to better understand like, okay, so this

29:07

generation, they're really not into whatever that generation is into.

29:09

Right. Was your dad an elf or your mom was

29:11

the elf? My

29:13

dad is an elf. The dad's really accusatory.

29:16

Dad no. Why? The way he

29:18

said it. Was your dad an elf? Was your dad? But

29:22

wait, Zephyr's dad was an elf. And he loved you?

29:25

Zephyr? Yeah. Well,

29:28

I think so. Don't all. Parents love their

29:30

child. What about your mom? No. She's

29:33

a human. Did she love you? No. I

29:35

mean, yeah. She's still alive? Yeah.

29:39

Were they both around when you were growing up? Yeah.

29:42

Really? Did your dad run around on your mom? Childhood.

29:45

Troy. I don't think so. Your dad like chose

29:47

a mortal life? Yeah. Are

29:50

they both? No. Are they both still

29:52

alive? Yes. Where are they? Yeah.

29:55

They're back in Silver Strand Harbor, just chilling.

29:57

What do they do? Are they retired? Are you

29:59

gonna be cool? My mom's like a chef and

30:01

then my dad's like a hunter, like

30:03

a butcher. Do they have any allergies? Do they

30:06

have any what? Allergies. Allergies? You're

30:08

going to make them dinner? Why are you asking that? I

30:10

don't think so. You can never reach your dinner party. Maybe

30:13

seasonal allergies. Everyone's got seasonal allergies. You have

30:15

passed the backstory test. Well

30:17

done, kid. Congratulations, congratulations. Though you

30:19

did say I don't know about 17 times. I

30:22

didn't know what's going on. You mean you don't

30:24

know your parents' allergies? You

30:26

have not done your character study. Does your

30:28

dad love you? I don't know. No, no.

30:31

Never thought about it. Never

30:34

thought about it. Does your dad love you?

30:36

Fuck. We should start doing that to

30:38

each other. Just intensely interrogate about backstories.

30:40

You have passed the backstory test. Congratulations.

30:43

Did we get a bowel cap? You

30:45

have been... I

30:48

might've thought about it. It's a really dangerous thing to

30:50

do with us. I feel like we started doing that

30:52

in the right mood and someone would just like go

30:54

off. It would be like 30 minutes later we'd arise

30:56

from the backstory test. Yeah. You

30:59

have been walked by a congregation

31:02

of elves to this area, this

31:04

well. Looks like there's a staircase

31:06

descending. A murder of elves. A

31:08

murder of elves. A murder of

31:11

elves. A murder of elves. Oh, can

31:13

we also say just for us too, we're

31:15

retconning that we went shopping. Went

31:17

shopping at the elven outpost on the Oations.

31:19

We sold them some cool shit from Galerium.

31:21

And they were happy to take it and

31:24

they gave you their versions of things that

31:26

were the same mechanical benefits, but

31:28

I think flavor wise, if you put some rune on

31:30

your weapon, it doesn't look like a rune you can

31:32

buy from Absalom.

31:34

Yeah, maybe the rune stones

31:36

they're carved into are like those stones that

31:39

Asta was stealing. Oh, that's fun. They were

31:41

so happy to receive our Galerian goods that

31:43

they paid full price. Yeah. They don't

31:45

even know about the half price thing. That's

31:47

so sweet. That was huge. That was

31:50

really huge. They paid quarter price. That's

31:52

why we were able to get all

31:54

those striking runes. Anyway, moving on. Moving

31:56

on. All right, so you are outside

31:58

of this. the staircase leading

32:01

down, the elves say, see ya,

32:03

and they start walking back. Oh.

32:09

Oh. Well?

32:13

Yes, it's well. Bonds.

32:16

Would you like to go down? I'd

32:19

be honored this way. I'll

32:22

follow your lead. Katana out.

32:24

Speaking of bonds, you guys ready to see bonds? I wonder

32:26

if you're ready guys. Oh, do we have a barn start?

32:29

Do you finally have it? Sure do. Shout

32:31

out to Matt Forsythe here. Thank you, Matt.

32:34

It's Theomicus Barnes. Oh. My.

32:39

You guys, my. Unfair bullshit. The

32:42

first word that popped into my

32:44

head was Daddy Barnes. Daddy Barnes?

32:46

I saw this and I was like, Daddy.

32:49

Daddy Barnes. Daddy. This is, this is Daddy.

32:51

This is Papa. Oh my God. This is

32:53

Daddy. This is Daddy. Matt Forsythe. Wow, this

32:56

is. Holy shit. Daddy. This is

32:58

Daddy Barnes. This is so

33:00

ridiculous. Look at that coat. This is why

33:02

people should play role playing games. The voice

33:04

goes with this. Just like makeup, handsome versions

33:07

of themselves. All right, where are they? He's

33:09

so debonair. Where are the tats? Where

33:11

are the tats? They're under the coat, right? The

33:13

only one you've seen. Yeah. Was poking out

33:15

from his. Sleeves. Yeah. It

33:18

might be the only tattoo he has. No, there's no way.

33:21

There's no way. Just full river

33:23

dragon. Don't

33:27

wake the dragon. Well, I love him. Ha

33:29

ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha

33:31

ha ha. And I want to

33:34

be him. Ha ha ha. I want to be him.

33:36

Do I love him or want to be him? He's

33:38

the perfect advertising geek. So

33:40

that coated stud

33:43

goes down first. Such a stud.

33:45

You descend about 30 feet

33:47

and then you see a passageway. It's

33:50

just darkness. Only

33:52

buggles can see those of

33:55

you with low light vision. The light that's trickling in

33:57

from the passageway, gives you a little bit of vision.

34:00

in, but, uh, Buggles can tell

34:02

you like the passageway just keeps going. You

34:04

don't see an end. Whether Rameus,

34:07

you have any ability to, uh, shine

34:09

a bit of light on the situation here. Yes. Bonds,

34:12

just wait one moment. And he does his

34:14

casting and this ball of light just

34:19

hovers over Barnes and stays

34:21

there. And then he turns and he casts one

34:24

over Asta and then

34:26

he casts one over himself. And

34:29

these three balls of light are just kind of

34:31

hovering around us. Asta,

34:33

Barnes and yourself. Asta,

34:37

Barnes, myself

34:41

and potentially Zephyr, but she's

34:43

shooting range anyway. What does she care? Okay. You

34:50

know, my dad loved me. That's

34:53

a lot. Hey, at least your dad loved you. You think

34:59

I give me one second because I want to put

35:01

these lights on your character. Just to say, Zephyr also

35:03

has one. Sorry. I didn't know if it was, uh,

35:06

four total, but it is. It's 20 20. Or

35:09

is it, what is it? It's 20 feet of

35:11

bright, 20 feet of dim. Last

35:15

but not least, but

35:17

like, like save yourself the time

35:19

Zephyr brother Rameus

35:22

in particular. I

35:24

don't know about Asta. Do you have low light

35:26

vision? Yeah. Yeah. So the three of us, it

35:29

doesn't matter. It's just 40 feet essentially because if

35:31

you guys start moving in different directions, having the flickering

35:33

light will look cooler. Did you get dark vision from

35:36

Talitha? No. In

35:38

the, in the ball. Remember we talked. Yeah. We

35:40

talked about if I got the dark vision,

35:42

but it's, I got the change lane feed.

35:44

Oh yeah. Is the effect like a flavor

35:46

change into an animal change lane trait, the

35:48

ability to get change lane feeds. Yes. Which

35:52

I haven't used yet because I'm only level

35:54

three, but I hope that will come around. That would be fun. Wow.

36:00

So Asta... I could get a changeling ancestry

36:02

feat. It would be cool to take one late, yeah.

36:04

You said Zephyr as well. I could've. Old

36:07

Zephyr do. Old Zephyr do. This

36:09

is Zephypoo. Phew,

36:11

Zephyr do. Here you go, Barnes.

36:14

Thank you. Barnes, with

36:16

this light that Brother Rameus

36:19

gives you. Who has it again? The light?

36:21

All of us, but Buckles. Oh, you gave it to Zephyr

36:24

too? Yeah. Oh, you hit Buckle? Yeah,

36:26

why did he... He doesn't need it. He has darkvision. But

36:28

it's pretty. I

36:30

can only have four orbs. Sorry,

36:32

Buckles, try it. Four active orbs. Fine.

36:36

See this passage just twisting

36:38

and turning and going on.

36:41

Keep following it. I'd like to

36:43

do a survival check. Okay. As we're walking

36:45

just to see if no one has

36:47

passed this way in 100 years, if the

36:50

evidence suggests that. That

36:53

is a 17. There

36:59

are some little things that

37:01

look like tracks, animal

37:03

tracks perhaps. With

37:05

a 17, I'll tell you, it's hard to

37:08

determine how old or how new they

37:10

are. Is it recent as of a week? It's

37:13

certainly not years old, so there has been some...

37:15

What are the tracks like? Like paws?

37:18

They look like paws. Some look like paws,

37:20

like quadrupeds. Like a smaller creature? Yeah, and

37:22

then some look like lots of smaller creatures

37:24

altogether. Can I roll knowledge

37:26

on the tracks, if I can identify the... Ken, you're

37:28

gonna have to hit a pretty... Oh, I bet it's

37:30

a mouse deer. On another planet, it's gonna be pretty

37:32

tricky. It's like I have been... I think it's mouse

37:34

deer. I'm using my diverse lore to use esoteric lore.

37:36

If it's mouse deer, can I have another bottle cap?

37:39

I'll think about it. Sweetheart. I

37:42

said it first. No one said it before

37:45

me. I want that on the record. I'm the first

37:47

guy to say mouse deer. 26,

37:49

but with my dubious knowledge, even with

37:51

a fail, I would get a piece of information. I would get

37:53

a piece of true information, a piece of

37:56

false information. All

37:58

right, the one that looks... The

38:00

freshest, we'll say, has sort

38:03

of a simian quality to it. Interesting.

38:09

Oh no. Asta immediately thinks of the scorpion. It's

38:11

a cabering attack. Yeah. The scorpion monkey, and he's like,

38:14

oh, right. Yeah. Oh. There's

38:17

something very simian about it, but

38:19

it's otherworldly. Dubious knowledge, when

38:21

you fail, but don't critically fail, or recall knowledge

38:23

check using any skill, you learn the correct answer

38:26

and an erroneous answer, but you don't have any

38:28

way to differentiate, which is which.

38:30

That's fun. Also say the tracks

38:32

of a ferris wheel. That's

38:36

crazy. It could be anything. Based

38:39

on my research, it could be there's something simian

38:41

or a theme

38:43

park attraction. I

38:46

have no way of knowing. I have no way of knowing.

38:48

Really hope it's not the theme park attraction. I don't.

38:51

You don't have a good ferris wheel? I don't know how to fight that. Ah

38:54

yes, that would be challenging. Guys

38:56

keep going down this, this

38:59

inclines, this declines, the

39:02

stairwells from time to time built

39:04

into the stone. And

39:07

then more twists and turns. You feel like you

39:09

go for about a mile or so until

39:12

you see a circular

39:14

staircase, reminiscence of the one that

39:16

you came down to get to

39:18

this passageway. And

39:22

at the bottom of the staircase, the

39:24

passage sort of opens into a

39:27

wide landing. And

39:29

we will go to the map. Guys

39:34

can rearrange yourselves based

39:36

on what you've

39:38

decided. I put

39:40

barns up front there, but. Brother

39:43

Amy is all the way in the back and I can't

39:46

see shit. And I'm just like, I

39:48

don't see anything on this map. Oh, I see why. Huddled

39:50

in the back in fear. Huddled in the back. Passage

39:55

opens up into a landing

39:57

and to either side. of

40:01

the Eastern exit of this room,

40:04

the walls have been carved with

40:07

identical images of leafless

40:09

trees. Roll

40:14

a nod, check on that. Yeah. Okay,

40:19

90, 19

40:21

with the minus two will be a 28. Yeah,

40:26

do be as known. Yeah, you

40:28

don't recognize the particular symbols or

40:30

what they represent, but it does

40:33

seem like it

40:35

sort of denotes the entrance

40:38

of something. Like

40:41

you don't know exactly what the trees mean, but

40:43

it seems like it was put there purposefully to

40:45

denote like welcome. You've

40:47

arrived at the right place. And also there's

40:50

a tilt a wheel somewhere with it?

40:52

And also a tilt a wheel. Welcome

40:56

to Six Flags Over Castroville. I

40:59

think this is the way in, shall we? Yes,

41:03

proceed. Musta follows

41:05

holding her, Adana. Yeah,

41:09

Kukri and my mirror out. Okay,

41:11

now we don't really use exploration mode. It's something that

41:13

we've kind of eschewed just naturally in the way that

41:15

we play. But give me a sense of what everybody's

41:18

doing as you're walking along here. We can play around

41:20

with it a little bit. I think

41:22

Zephyr's paranoid about if anything

41:24

can jump out at us, especially if we

41:26

noted that we saw like Simeon track. So

41:28

she's like hyper aware of any

41:31

danger, maybe. Okay,

41:34

perception. Yeah, perception. Can

41:36

I use Esoteric Lore, my knowledge skill?

41:38

It's like seeing, like constantly scanning and

41:40

see if there's anything I recognize from

41:42

my research, my field work, my experience.

41:44

Absolutely. Yeah. Brother

41:47

Amius, I think will be on

41:50

guard for unseeable, magical

41:53

sort of, I

41:57

don't know whether there are traps or defenses or

41:59

whatever. So I, He'll just continually

42:01

did to cast detect magic basically. Okay,

42:03

so he'll just want to know as soon as there's any

42:05

magic within 30 feet Okay, I

42:08

think Buggles is just Kind

42:11

of absorbed by these images of

42:13

trees You're trying

42:16

to kind of come to terms

42:18

with What that

42:20

could signify? Like here

42:22

deep in the earth these these leafless

42:24

trees down here. I think he's that

42:27

that image is is fascinating

42:30

to him Or

42:32

but I think I think Asta similarly

42:34

to brother Raimius is is sort of

42:36

like tuning in to The

42:38

sounds and like the feelings of the air

42:41

around her, you know feeling for like a

42:43

crackling energy or like force Changes

42:45

of force like entering a new area that

42:48

might have a magical effect around it. So

42:51

I guess Arcana. Okay great,

42:54

um You turn the

42:57

corner there Bonzi

43:00

and you see another

43:02

chamber up ahead sort of twists and

43:04

turns to the south and

43:08

The sky up above somehow peaks

43:10

into this sinkhole chamber Maybe there's

43:13

a fissure in the ceiling with

43:15

which some light is kind of

43:17

peeking its way through very very faint

43:20

light How deep are we? It's

43:23

a mile right? Yeah, I mean you want a mile but

43:25

it was so many twists and turns and ups and downs

43:27

It's kind of hard to know how deep you are. It's

43:30

like 20,000 leagues under the sea. It's

43:32

like they're not 20,000 leagues deep Just

43:34

they travel 20,000 leagues you long

43:37

surface But

43:39

you can see Barnes from You

43:45

can see that the hole in the ceiling with

43:47

which this light is spilling through is hundreds of

43:49

feet up So the

43:51

ceiling in this chamber is very high. I

43:54

cast magic measure Is

44:00

that a thing? What? You

44:02

know how I know... Did you want me to laugh? You

44:04

know how I know you made it up, you never looked

44:06

at anything. Do you want to

44:09

like this? I skid slowly peering over what's

44:11

the best, like what the fuck is she

44:13

reading? I'm not familiar with all the shells.

44:15

She want me to laugh? A hundred feet.

44:18

A couple hundred feet up. There

44:20

are narrow streams of water cascading

44:23

down the walls in a dozen

44:25

tiny waterfalls. So maybe this crack

44:27

is one of many cracks where

44:30

moisture from up above is finding

44:32

its way down and there's these

44:34

little rivulets, little waterfalls all coming

44:37

down the walls of this sinkhole.

44:39

And I say sinkhole because

44:41

in the back of the room is

44:43

a pool to the south

44:46

and beyond the pool the ceiling starts

44:48

to lower into a smaller cavern that

44:50

turns the corner and then disappears. How

44:52

does the ground look? Does it look

44:55

stable? Am I walking in a quicksand

44:57

here? Yeah, no, it looks very stable.

45:01

Does it feel sort of like a cenote?

45:04

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a yucatan. They

45:07

fill with the fresh rainwater and they slowly become

45:09

caves full of water. So

45:11

cool. Imagine right now,

45:14

buckles. Actually no, you

45:16

guys can't even see really the... You

45:18

can't see the water yet, right? No, I don't think

45:21

so. So you can just hear the water or maybe

45:23

there's the water. Oh, there it is. Oh, wow. It's

45:25

a big lake for me. It really

45:27

does kind of emulate the experience of being

45:29

behind a bunch of people and they're like,

45:31

whoa, look at this, like get out of

45:33

my way. All right, try to

45:35

see us. Yeah, buckles, you have the best

45:37

view of it. Obviously it's in like monochrome.

45:40

Everybody roll a perception check now that

45:42

you're in here. Zephyr, have

45:44

you already rolled? Yeah, I'm going to keep my

45:46

roll because it was good. What

45:50

did everybody get starting when they go around the horn here

45:52

with Joe? 25 for

45:55

Brother Amias. Nine. Ooh.

54:00

I will shoot a

54:02

divine lance right in its face like right

54:04

up in its face, okay It's off guard

54:06

because you are flanking with bomb divine

54:09

plants Really

54:13

aggressive 20 yet. Yes Beautiful

54:18

and that will be four

54:22

points of damage Points

54:25

of damage one from minimum and

54:27

that's his turn. That's his turn Zephyr. Whoa

54:30

Alright, so she's still down Almost

54:34

half her hit points. So she

54:37

I'm assuming does not have her bow out in this

54:39

tiny little tight quarters So she's

54:41

gonna do one to punch the regular way

54:44

Gloria blows with the fistic fists Okay,

54:47

let's do it 26

54:54

to hit nice one. That's a hit.

54:56

I'm gonna roll the hits first and

54:58

then son You can combo the damage

55:00

you um, oh the second one is

55:06

22 to hit that's another hit. Oh my god.

55:08

They both hit so stunning fists All

55:11

right, so I'm going to save please for it

55:13

save 24

55:19

that's a pass. All right, that's fine, but two hits

55:21

awesome. So that's I rolled rocks I

55:29

think I have a max damage on that one 16

55:33

points of damage Right back to yeah

55:38

Desperately striking out with like a

55:40

big jab cross the cross definitely

55:42

hits square in the face max

55:44

damage But since she's still

55:46

very much down she's going to take 35 Her

55:50

not not full 35 feet but just move

55:52

back away towards that entrance there So she

55:54

doesn't get surrounded at all and

55:56

then I guess last action try to make some

55:58

sort of knowledge and

1:10:00

everyone forgets everything. It's

1:10:02

been true for seven years. It's really a

1:10:04

funny little blind spot. In 2E,

1:10:06

it just does not stick in my head because it's like,

1:10:09

does it work differently? So many different

1:10:11

ways to crit. Because there's fumbles without rolling

1:10:13

a natural one. Right, right, right. I wonder

1:10:15

if people, I imagine they do, play 2E

1:10:17

without the plus 10 minus 10 crit fumbles.

1:10:20

You think so? Why? That's such

1:10:22

a major part of 2E though. That makes it fun. I know,

1:10:24

but I bet you can do it without it. Sure. I

1:10:26

imagine certain people do. Doesn't mean you

1:10:29

should. The thing is, normally fumbles have

1:10:31

no consequence in 2E. This

1:10:34

is one circumstance in which they do, if you roll

1:10:36

a natural one, for us. Most

1:10:38

times in the game, on an

1:10:40

attack, they won't, it doesn't matter. When we first, first

1:10:42

played the play test, that was one of the things

1:10:44

that I remember being like, oh, I don't like that.

1:10:46

Because it was a big change. I had a natural

1:10:48

20 being a crit, a one being a fumble. And

1:10:51

when you expand your crit range, like you did in

1:10:53

1E, like having a 19 20 or an 18 20,

1:10:57

you can't be a crit. That to me, I like

1:10:59

more. And I still to this day don't love the

1:11:01

plus 10 minus 10, but you can. I don't understand

1:11:03

what you're saying. I don't like that you can crit

1:11:05

by going 10 over the AC or fumble by going

1:11:07

10 under. I like that a lot.

1:11:10

Which doesn't have to be significant. You get to crit more.

1:11:12

Yeah, I would take that. I mean, no, I don't like

1:11:14

that. I liked that a 20, because it's a lot rarer.

1:11:16

Not for me, but for normally. No, you had to confirm

1:11:18

in 1E. Right. So it was way

1:11:20

rarer. I would take that over the confirm any

1:11:23

day. I hate the confirm. Yeah. It's

1:11:25

so frustrating. Incredibly difficult. The most

1:11:27

deflating natural 20 imaginable. Yeah, that

1:11:30

makes sense. And it just makes like a high

1:11:32

die roll fun. And also like what

1:11:34

we're saying when you say you crit more

1:11:37

is you will never crit bosses of any

1:11:39

kind, even moderately

1:11:41

higher level unless you roll a natural 20.

1:11:43

But bosses can't crit you. And you always

1:11:45

are. Yeah, yeah. And sometimes you will roll

1:11:47

a natural 20 against them and you still

1:11:49

won't crit. Right, exactly. Yeah, that's

1:11:53

one thing that I miss, because I did like

1:11:55

that. I'm a bit of a masochist. I

1:11:57

get it. I get it. I'm critting

1:11:59

more. is more fun. But also

1:12:01

like. They rebalance the crit effects on a lot of

1:12:03

stuff. Anyway, so it feels, all right,

1:12:06

it doesn't feel OP to me. It just feels more

1:12:08

fun. Yeah, I feel like we need to do something

1:12:10

for the fumbles, the minus 10 fumbles, because right now

1:12:12

it's just like, you miss. Yeah, if

1:12:14

we could. So it's just weighted towards success,

1:12:16

and there's no penalty for less you and

1:12:18

that one. Self-inflict a wound. Well, I also

1:12:20

think. 20 and 10 overs. I also think

1:12:22

we're skating through this campaign. Yeah, that's true.

1:12:24

Let's make it a little more. I mean

1:12:27

more in general, and not so much the

1:12:29

campaign. The way that these are balanced, especially

1:12:31

the way these in this AP are balanced,

1:12:33

a miss is devastating. Every miss is like

1:12:35

a character could die. It's like a waste

1:12:37

of a turn. Remarkable. Well,

1:12:40

I'm just saying like you get the bonus at a 20 and

1:12:42

10 over. There's no penalty unless you

1:12:45

roll in. I've thought of

1:12:47

it many times. Like how come a natural two against

1:12:49

this thing doesn't mean something worse happens than a regular

1:12:51

miss. It dropped your weapon. Sure. Because

1:12:53

we would die. He loves sweating, he loves drinking

1:12:55

lemon juice for nazis. It's

1:12:57

like peeing in black blood. It came out of my

1:12:59

butt, Kate. It came out of my butt, Kate.

1:13:03

Pay attention. It came out of my butt, Kate. Black stuff came

1:13:05

out of my butt. Can

1:13:08

you read this bumble? This one

1:13:10

from Derek in Portland, Maine.

1:13:13

That's the real Portland.

1:13:15

We all just saw that. You

1:13:17

are so embarrassed at how badly you just missed

1:13:20

that you become self-conscious and you take a minus

1:13:22

one to all melee attacks for the next one

1:13:24

D6 round. Minus

1:13:27

one to melee attacks. You also take a minus two

1:13:29

penalty to all charisma based checks blah blah blah. Won't

1:13:32

matter. Charisma based checks. Is that

1:13:34

a beak or does he just have two teeth?

1:13:37

They look like rodent like teeth. Yeah, looks

1:13:39

like a mole. Yeah. It's

1:13:43

like a. I don't see frog. Like one big fang and

1:13:45

then a little kink, kink, kink. Yeah,

1:13:47

a frog is like. I

1:13:49

don't see frog. I don't see frog. It's got a frog body. Turn

1:13:52

your left up to the side and you're like. I

1:13:54

see spider when I do that. Oh,

1:13:56

it's a beak. And then like a baboon nose. Yeah,

1:13:59

baboon. I'm

1:24:00

going to... That's

1:24:02

the end of your turn. No, you can't, you're

1:24:05

stunned. Oh, that's right, I'm stunned. Stunned. Let's go,

1:24:07

go to work. Gooses. Stunned, now I lose that

1:24:09

stunned. Johnski and I lose Frightened as well, but

1:24:12

I still, how many rounds am I to have that bullshit

1:24:14

thing, the minus one or 10? I think you have to

1:24:16

roll it. Yeah, so it's one D6. Was it one D4?

1:24:18

One D6, one round. Go

1:24:21

over, that's all over. He's back to fucking

1:24:23

fall. We have to take him out this

1:24:26

round. Get out. So scared. So

1:24:28

scared. Well, it is. Fucking

1:24:31

bug, let's do it. Come on, bug. Come on, come

1:24:33

on. So, big round for bugs.

1:24:35

Light him up. Is like,

1:24:37

you know, the aura again, shifts

1:24:39

into burning embers, and

1:24:42

he stalks across the battlefield

1:24:44

like Drew Barrymore in Firestarter.

1:24:47

Ha ha ha ha. And...

1:24:50

Picture it perfectly. And pop, the ignition, you

1:24:53

try one more time with his ignition. Like

1:24:55

Drew Barrymore in Charlie's Angels 3. 26

1:24:57

to hit. Yeah, there it is. 26

1:25:00

to hit. As I hit. Okay, now

1:25:02

this all, this all, and I'm

1:25:04

amping this by the way, so this

1:25:06

all like went up like quite significantly.

1:25:08

Ooh, nice. At level three. Ooh.

1:25:12

Yeah, okay. Oh my god. Sorry.

1:25:19

Oh no. So excited. Oh

1:25:21

no. So many dice. It

1:25:23

is due in damage. That is 24

1:25:25

points of fire damage. Wow.

1:25:29

24 points of fire damage. My.

1:25:31

Okay. Oh, okay.

1:25:34

I mean, it's, it really wasn't hit yet,

1:25:36

yeah. Well, let's see. Asta, can you

1:25:39

finish it off? Okay. I'm

1:25:41

going to spend one action to recharge the

1:25:43

spell strike. Zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom,

1:25:45

zoom. And then. And then what are

1:25:47

you channeling into your jaw on? I'm gonna channel in

1:25:49

the gouging claw again, because it's 3D6 of slashing. Because

1:25:52

it looks like these things bleed. Sorry, 25 points

1:25:54

of fire damage. Okay, you said 24, so it's

1:25:57

another one. Did you die? No. Okay.

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