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should definitely do a promotion for

0:58

Trump Sentencing. I

1:01

will go to a 7-Eleven on 7-Eleven

1:03

Sentencing Day just for the hell of

1:05

it. Get a slurpee. Get

1:08

your Sentencing Slurpee. You know that

1:10

he doesn't want to hear people saying, Lock

1:13

him up, lock him up. He's

1:16

locked up. He's locked up. Yeah, we

1:18

should make that the title of this

1:20

episode. Lock him up, lock him up.

1:24

See, pronouns do matter. Aw,

1:28

what went wrong? What do you disagree with? Everything! Thirty-four

1:32

things, maybe? I love him

1:34

so much, Jesus. Hi

1:49

there, humans. It's the Lord thy God. I'm

1:52

here today with my friend and

1:54

pal, Jesus. Friend

1:56

and pal and son and the gayest

1:59

man. of them all. Jesus

2:01

Christ. That's right. Hi dad, Happy

2:04

Pride Month humans! Happy

2:06

Pride Jesus! Let

2:10

the world witness that I,

2:12

God the Father, love

2:14

my gay son. Awwwwwwwwwwwwww!

2:18

You're gonna make me blush!

2:21

And I haven't forgot that I'm supposed to get you

2:23

a gift. Oh,

2:25

you haven't forgotten? What does that mean? I

2:28

have forgotten what it is you said would be

2:30

a good gift. Um, I'm

2:34

afraid I forgot too. I think I told you not

2:36

to get me a butt plug. Ughhh.

2:39

But I can't remember what I

2:42

advised you to get me instead.

2:44

How about like Barbie on Blu-ray?

2:46

Ooooh! Didn't

2:49

realize you liked Blu-ray. Hey,

2:51

Barbie! Well,

2:53

yeah, I'm so old school. You know,

2:55

I got my Blu-ray disc. I'm an

2:57

old media type of Jesus. Smart. Jesus

3:00

is preparing himself for the apocalypse

3:04

to have enough things to

3:06

watch. So Jesus, big news this week

3:09

while we were gone. Dun

3:11

dun dun dun dun! Trump got

3:13

convicted. Woooo! Speaking

3:16

of a big start to Pride

3:18

Month, heck yeah! Where

3:21

were you when the verdict

3:24

came down? Oh, Jesus. I

3:26

gotta tell you, I was watching Jake

3:28

Tapper on CNN. Just

3:31

happened to be, you know, I got

3:33

wind that something was coming down the

3:35

pike, right? Ooooh, yeah, I jumped on

3:38

CNN. And I

3:41

gotta tell you, it happened so

3:43

fast and it

3:45

got funnier every single time

3:47

Jake Tapper said guilty. Guilty.

3:51

Guilty. You know, as he got into the

3:53

20s, I was just like, holy

3:56

shit, he's gonna

3:58

be guilty for all of these. Yeah,

4:00

that was pretty epic. But you were still like, you know,

4:02

a little nervous as they were all coming in, right? Cuz

4:05

it's like, I'm on clean, sweet, clean, sweet baby. I wanted

4:07

to get all the closer that it got to the end.

4:09

I was like, come on, baby. Just do them all. I

4:11

don't, you know. 34 out of 34. You

4:13

know, charge 33, not guilty. That

4:16

would have been all it took,

4:18

Jesus. Ah, that would have been

4:20

a boner killer. Yeah. The

4:23

boner... Hahahaha. I'm

4:25

glad that... The boner killer!

4:27

Hahahaha. But

4:29

really, like, I may have been

4:31

getting aroused. I'm glad

4:34

you mentioned it happened so fast. Hahahaha.

4:37

Because I had just left the gym and

4:39

I heard that the verdict, that the jury

4:41

had reached a verdict. So I

4:43

rushed home. I was like, oh, I gotta get into

4:45

hiding, you know, in case the people riot. And

4:48

I decided to shower quick, because I thought I

4:50

would have time before the verdict was read. Oh,

4:55

really? I get out of the

4:57

shower. It's happening. I'm getting text messages. Whoa.

5:00

I'm dripping wet, turning on CNN. And

5:03

I caught, like, the last few live.

5:05

That's amazing. I know. And I

5:07

thought you were gonna say you heard the

5:09

verdict in the shower, like, really, Oden, good

5:11

fellas. And you were, like, just

5:13

pounding the wall, like, whoooooo!

5:17

No, I should have turned it on in the shower. I

5:19

guess I'll have to install a TV in the shower for

5:22

future Trump verdict. So,

5:24

it's honestly, it was just,

5:27

it's so, I mean,

5:29

gratifying Jesus to know that in

5:32

some way, shape, or form, no one is above

5:34

the law. Right. Right.

5:36

I've been sitting here this whole time,

5:38

like, damn, is

5:41

this some bitch ever going

5:44

to pay for anything? Teflon

5:46

Don. Are they really under,

5:49

you know, above the law? And the

5:51

Teflon Don, that was based off of John

5:53

Gotti in New York. Jesus, a

5:56

mobster. And he

5:58

ended up, you know what happened to the Teflon Don?

6:00

Teflon Don. Uh, you got caught

6:02

eventually. Yep. Died in prison. Who

6:06

knows what's going to happen with this? Will

6:08

he see prison time is the question

6:10

that's going to be on everyone's mind

6:13

for the next month. It's

6:15

certainly on his mind, Jesus, and on

6:17

the minds of his supporters. We

6:19

are in day four of

6:22

an ongoing shitstorm of

6:25

Trump supporters just losing their

6:28

ever loving

6:30

minds, Jesus, posting

6:32

their upside down flags. The

6:36

heritage foundation did that. Yes. And

6:39

they're posting their upside down flags. They

6:41

are mobilizing. How

6:44

are they mobilizing? What are they doing? I

6:46

don't know what that means for them. I think

6:48

that means driving around in their Ford F-150 trucks

6:51

and just sort of like flying the

6:54

flag behind them. I

6:57

don't know. I

7:00

don't know. Maybe having a boat parade. They

7:03

should do another one of those, I think. Yeah.

7:06

And then they had a boat parade and then a bunch of the

7:08

boats caught on fire. Oh yeah. That

7:10

was amazing. Just as much as, you

7:12

know, liberals are celebrating

7:15

this. The

7:17

MAGA world is losing their minds. Yeah.

7:20

And they're making, and they're putting everyone, making

7:23

everyone uneasy by literally

7:25

threatening violence. This is exactly

7:28

how fascism works, isn't

7:30

it? Like you said, it is nice

7:32

to see Trump finally getting

7:34

what's coming to him. But

7:37

on the other hand, how people are

7:39

reacting to this news is really sad

7:41

and how the right is bending over

7:43

backwards to downplay the significance of this

7:46

trial and the judge and the

7:48

jury. They even now have a problem with

7:50

juries. Yeah. They're, they're

7:52

doxxing the jurors and

7:54

threatening them to

7:57

warn future jurors,

7:59

you know, and trials that he's got

8:01

coming up. Trump's actually said

8:03

he's okay with serving prison

8:06

time, Jesus. He said that, of course.

8:08

Of course, he has to say that

8:11

because in order

8:13

to have any chance of avoiding prison time,

8:15

he actually has to show

8:17

remorse and conviction, and he hasn't

8:20

done that this entire time. Well, I definitely

8:22

agree with that, but you have to show

8:24

those things in court, like in front of

8:26

the judge. Is that like a

8:28

real thing? It does not help your case

8:30

if you show zero remorse and you're in

8:32

fact attacking the jury and the judge and

8:35

the entire justice system, Jesus. Yeah, that's not

8:37

good. True. You're at the mercy

8:39

of the person who is making the sentencing,

8:41

who in this case would be Judge Murchand.

8:43

Judge Murchand? Judge Murchand? Judge Murchand?

8:47

And yeah, so

8:49

now he's like, you know what? I'm okay with it. I'd be

8:51

okay if I have to do prison time. I

8:54

mean, he can milk, he knows how much money

8:56

he can raise off of being

8:58

in prison. Yes. And

9:01

remember what we discussed a few weeks

9:03

ago to the judge, he

9:06

needs to be in prison for more than a

9:09

few days. If he's in jail for two, three

9:11

days, that's not worth it. That's not

9:13

worth all the hype and all the

9:15

security that's going to go into it and

9:17

all the media attention. No, we need a

9:19

good couple weeks. Two

9:22

years. Two years, sure. That

9:24

sounds good. At least through the election. I

9:26

mean, at least as long as what Michael

9:28

Cohen got. How long, how much time

9:30

did he get? I think he got like a

9:32

year. You're gonna, don't quote

9:34

me on that. Maybe you should Google it, but yeah.

9:37

A year sounds good. He got about a

9:39

year and I mean, he was just an

9:41

accessory to this crime. Trump was the mastermind.

9:44

So the judge is interested

9:46

in fairness and as a judge, he

9:48

probably is, then Trump needs to get at

9:50

least as long as what Cohen got. I

9:53

just Googled it. It was 13 and a half

9:55

months. So pretty close. 14 months

9:57

for Trump. And,

10:00

uh, but Trump says he's okay with it,

10:03

but at the same time that he said he was okay

10:05

with it, Jesus, he also said

10:07

he thinks

10:09

that his supporters might go crazy, you know,

10:11

the American people won't put up with it.

10:14

Well, yeah, he certainly hopes for them

10:16

to all riot if he gets sent

10:18

to prison. So he's, he's threatening violence

10:20

again. It's not just hopes, Jesus. This

10:23

is the way that he does shit.

10:25

This is stochastic terrorism. This is him

10:27

telling his supporters, go

10:29

ahead and be violent. Yeah.

10:31

You know, this is him winking at them

10:34

to stand

10:36

by. Stupid

10:39

dumbasses. Stand back and

10:41

stand by. You know, he,

10:44

they did January 6th. Yeah.

10:47

From the people who brought you January 6th,

10:49

now they're attacking. First they

10:51

were attacking the voting system. Now

10:54

they're attacking the justice system. And

10:56

yeah, they're not happy. From

10:59

the people who brought you January

11:02

6th comes July 11th. Yeah. 7-11.

11:06

7-11, Jesus. And

11:08

we're not talking about the slurpees.

11:10

7-11 should definitely do a promotion

11:12

for Trump's sentencing. I

11:16

will go to a 7-11 on 7-11

11:18

sentencing day just for the health of

11:20

it. Get a slurpee. Get

11:23

your sentencing slurpee. And a

11:25

sentencing, oh my God, there we

11:27

go. There's a headline for

11:30

a satire news outfit. 7-11

11:35

announces sentencing slurpees on 7-11.

11:38

That's seven times fast. Genius.

11:41

Genius. Get an

11:43

extra big gulp of justice that day. I've

11:45

been killing it with the satire news on our

11:47

website, Jesus. You have. I've been looking forward to

11:49

it. You've been getting it. You can read it

11:51

now. Emails every morning. Yeah. Yeah, it's been great.

11:54

Yeah, which one is your favorite from the last

11:56

week? Well, I did have a chuckle as I

11:59

mentioned to you. to you this morning at

12:02

this one about me revoking the

12:04

baptism from Russell Brand after just

12:06

one month. And I

12:09

commented in the article,

12:11

we tried it out. He's just not

12:13

a good fit. Yeah. And

12:15

it's true though. It's true news. Yeah.

12:18

He's not a good fit. As you said in

12:20

the article, right. Uh, yeah. He's

12:23

a photo of me deadpan Russell

12:26

Brand celebrates. Yeah. Yeah.

12:30

You like, aren't I good at this? Aren't

12:32

I good at this crap Jesus? You

12:34

are. I am so good

12:37

at this particular form. I maybe not,

12:39

you know, there's some

12:41

things that are a little harder for me, like

12:43

video and whatnot, but this, this is

12:45

my jam. Writing's a great

12:47

medium because you can sit there and really think about it

12:50

with podcasting. As much as I enjoy podcasting,

12:52

it's in the moment you're acting in real

12:54

time. I just love marrying a funny headline

12:57

with a funny image. I love

13:00

that man. But yeah.

13:03

And also this quote, we tried it out. He's not a good

13:05

fit. Sort of inspired

13:07

by a scene from the office.

13:11

Which one? That's what they, that's what

13:13

Angela tells Meredith when they

13:15

tried to have her on the, no, no,

13:18

not Meredith. It's

13:21

another character. Jim's other girlfriend, Rashida

13:24

Jones, when she's on the show. She's

13:27

like, we tried it out. You're

13:31

not a good fit. Man,

13:33

I love that show. Okay.

13:37

Another, yeah, I reacted very quickly to the

13:39

Trump news and put up my article, God

13:42

dies from laughter after Trump killed me.

13:46

And then that was very popular. And then the

13:48

next day followed it up with Trump supporter cry

13:50

himself to sleep over convicted cult

13:52

leader. He just

13:54

kept muttering. They got him. They really

13:57

got him. And my One

14:00

of my favorite reactions right after the

14:02

first reaction that they had to

14:04

all of this is how could

14:07

they do this to him if they can arrest him

14:09

for crimes he committed? They can

14:11

arrest you too. Right.

14:13

And me, even

14:15

Elon Musk, the

14:18

richest person on the planet, that's

14:20

what he said. Well, yeah, of

14:22

course he has a chance of getting arrested, but

14:24

I think the rest of us, you know, we're

14:27

not paying porn stars hush money

14:29

so we can run for president

14:31

without issue. Yeah, and

14:34

then like a day later, it came

14:36

out that Musk is being accused of

14:38

like seven and a half billion dollars

14:41

of insider trading. Oh,

14:43

really? Yeah. I didn't see

14:45

that. I try to avoid Musk,

14:47

please. Yeah, so unlike you Trump supporters,

14:50

we're not all busy committing crimes and

14:52

tax fraud, so

14:55

we're not worried about anyone coming after

14:57

us because we're not committing crimes. That

14:59

was actually one of the first reactions I got as

15:02

well, Jesus was, yeah, well,

15:04

the average American commits three felonies a day

15:06

without even realizing it. Like

15:10

what, speeding? Yeah, you

15:12

committed, you've probably committed three felonies today,

15:14

God. And you know what my response to that was?

15:17

Prove it. You're not American? Oh, prove

15:19

it. Well, maybe we should have a

15:21

trial and you can prove it in court in front of

15:23

a jury of 12 people. Oh,

15:25

boy. Anyway, it's been

15:28

delicious, Jesus. It's

15:31

great watching them squirm. I

15:35

have people in my life who are Trump

15:37

supporters and watching them freak out over this

15:39

has been like, oh, time

15:41

for more popcorn. Yeah. Yeah,

15:44

this might then, of course,

15:46

they allegedly raised 52 points. Some

15:50

people just know the best rate for you is

15:52

a rate based on you with all state. Not

15:55

a rate based on Terry who keeps and

15:58

makes the car behind them. Oh

16:01

no, they're about to save

16:05

with drive-wise in the Allstate app and only

16:07

pay a rate based on you. Not

16:10

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16:13

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16:15

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16:38

L-I-B-S-Y-N ads.com. 28

16:40

million. Now, then

16:42

it was 70 million. Now they're climbing

16:44

100 million off of him

16:46

being convicted, which of

16:48

course, you know what their source for that is,

16:51

Jesus? Yo, the

16:53

Trump campaign. Yeah. I mean,

16:55

honestly, I wouldn't be shocked. Do you believe

16:59

that? Like, I, again, the people

17:01

in my life who are hardcore Trump

17:03

supporters, I can totally see them getting-

17:05

Are you talking? These are people, you

17:07

have a lot of friends that aren't

17:09

in heaven, obviously. Yeah, exactly.

17:12

And I don't want to call them out. I don't want you

17:14

to smite them just yet. I mean,

17:16

that's cool, Jesus. You know, you're trying to win

17:18

them over. You're a very forgiving, loving guy. I

17:20

get it. Exactly. Exactly.

17:24

And I think people get so worked up

17:26

about bad things happening to him that they'll

17:28

go ahead and donate. And it's disgusting. But

17:30

I don't know. This type of news really

17:32

gets them going. Yeah. So

17:35

it's hard to know because, yeah, they

17:37

probably raised some money, but

17:39

I honestly, when they say 50

17:42

million, 100 million, I don't believe that

17:44

shit. They've lied

17:46

about their numbers over and over again. They

17:50

have to report it to the government. So maybe

17:52

at some point we'll get the true numbers. Right.

17:55

I feel like that has to come out. And then people will care and it'll be way too

17:57

late. But my point is that, you know, they lie when

17:59

he goes- on a rally they're like a

18:01

hundred thousand people were there and it was like

18:03

five thousand right right you

18:06

know so

18:08

don't believe source total bullshit

18:12

I saw a clip of him walking out of

18:14

Trump Tower I guess it was in New York

18:16

City and he starts like waving to people but

18:18

then like the camera pans he's actually not waving

18:20

to anybody at all that's weird

18:23

yeah that's weird so yeah

18:26

he's having

18:29

a normal one he not

18:34

Trump now denies ever saying lock her

18:36

up Jesus yeah

18:40

so that was a he said this

18:42

in an interview with Fox over the

18:44

weekends when like that

18:46

was his whole 2016 campaign Hillary

18:49

locked I literally feel like I heard him

18:51

say it or leave people in chance of

18:53

saying it 50,000 times

18:57

mm-hmm like

18:59

exactly it was all he said for

19:01

years and then eventually he

19:03

moved on to just saying fake news and

19:07

then he then his big thing just became

19:09

full out enemy of the people fascism so

19:12

why is he afraid to admit that he said

19:14

it this is what's so funny like

19:17

this is the funniest part it

19:20

follows him being convicted of

19:22

a felony so he

19:24

now has to rewrite history to say

19:27

that he never said lock her

19:30

up because lock him up

19:33

is actually happening this is the

19:35

funny I honestly feel like this

19:37

is the funniest thing maybe out

19:39

of all of this if I

19:42

had to rank on a list

19:44

of one to a hundred

19:46

this might be number one right here yeah

19:50

it's it's got a curb your

19:53

enthusiasm bump and be exactly know

19:55

that he doesn't want to hear

19:57

people saying lock him up lock

19:59

him up He's locked up.

20:01

He's locked up. Yeah, we should make that

20:03

the title of this episode. Lock

20:05

him up. Lock him up.

20:08

See? Pronouns too, man. Oh,

20:14

and also, Jesus, he has openly

20:16

begged the Supreme Court for help as

20:19

he awaits his hush money sentencing. Oh,

20:21

yeah, because he's like saying we're going to

20:23

keep appealing right up to the Supreme Court. Hey,

20:26

Supreme Court, who I appointed. Because

20:28

he knows they're corrupt and

20:31

that he appointed them, and even though they have

20:33

no jurisdiction in any of this, he...

20:36

It's pathetic. It's

20:39

insane. They're totally in the

20:41

pocket for him, so it's actually not that

20:43

crazy for him to say this. Yeah. You

20:46

know, it's just extremely upsetting

20:49

that they might actually help him. I don't

20:52

think they're going to in this case, but

20:54

they're helping him in other things by delaying the

20:57

question of, is the president immune? Yeah.

21:03

So, I don't know. It just feels like it

21:06

was a happy moment, but it was also just

21:08

over so fast. Yeah, I

21:10

know. You kind of had a hangover

21:12

pretty quickly afterwards. Right? It

21:15

was like it was happy for a moment, you

21:17

know, and it's still happy to remember. You got to

21:20

enjoy the funny times as

21:22

much as you can, but the

21:24

next day, because they're literally

21:26

threatening violence, it's just

21:29

not cool. We have July

21:32

11th and are sentencing slurpees

21:34

to look forward to. I'm

21:37

going to predict that he's not going to go

21:39

to prison. Obviously,

21:42

that's all I want in this world. Right

21:45

now, I don't want anything else. I just want Trump to

21:47

go to prison. Jesus, we haven't even

21:49

gotten to the part where he's been comparing

21:51

himself to you and all this, and

21:54

his supporters have been comparing

21:56

him to you as well. Have you

21:58

seen the memes? Yes, I

22:01

texted you one and you didn't reply to me.

22:03

We did? Yeah. On

22:05

where? Your text messages. Really?

22:08

I texted you. You did? Yeah.

22:11

I know. I

22:14

actually texted you instead of slacking you. Oh

22:17

yeah, I don't know. Yeah. You know what? I've

22:19

just been so busy, Jesus, that I didn't have time

22:22

to respond to your text. I'm not Holy Ghosting you.

22:24

I'm sure you had seen this a million times by

22:26

this point, but... Yeah. I feel like

22:28

the one where Jesus is holding

22:30

the shoulders of Trump in the Oval Office

22:33

and saying it's okay, they called me guilty

22:35

too. This is actually made as

22:37

a meme by someone making fun of him

22:39

and all this. And

22:41

what's crazy, Jesus, is that, I mean,

22:44

that's good satire because they immediately

22:47

started doing that. Like

22:49

for real. There were people sharing

22:51

this unironically. Madison Cawthorn went

22:54

up there, went on whatever

22:56

the fuck and tweeted something to that

22:58

effect, comparing Trump

23:01

to you. And you know

23:03

what's crazy? They don't know their Bible, Jesus. You

23:05

were never actually found guilty. Pontius

23:07

Pilate was like, I

23:09

can't really name... That's what

23:11

it says in the Bible. Yeah. Yeah.

23:15

He washed his hands of it because he was

23:17

being... Fair and balanced. He was

23:19

trying to be all political. He didn't want to

23:21

get stabbed himself. This

23:23

visual is just so funny. Me,

23:26

Jesus, my eyes are closed. I'm

23:28

behind Trump. I have my

23:30

hands on his shoulders. Trump is reaching

23:32

for one of my hands. We're

23:34

in the White House. Why do they always

23:37

have you giving Trump a back massage? What's

23:40

up with that? If

23:43

I ever were to get my hands on him,

23:45

I would not be giving him a hand massage.

23:47

Whoa, be careful what you say, Jesus. This

23:49

might be listening. I would

23:52

give him a neck massage, not a hand massage. Right. A

23:55

back massage. Careful. Hand

23:57

massage. Yeah. So

24:00

many. It's just ridiculous. He

24:03

also, Jesus, he also said

24:05

that his witnesses in the

24:07

trial were literally crucified. What?

24:10

Oh, and he

24:12

also, well, maybe,

24:14

but he had also said, I would've

24:16

testified. Oh, I

24:18

would've testified if they let me. And

24:21

of course he had every opportunity to testify,

24:23

but his lawyers were like, stopped

24:25

him from testifying because they knew that he was

24:27

going to lie because he's a, every

24:29

time he opens his mouth, it's always a lie.

24:31

He's a pathological lying

24:34

shitbag. He would've lied. He would've

24:36

talked crap on the jury and

24:38

the judge. I

24:41

cannot wait for the day when I

24:43

never have to see his stupid face

24:45

ever again. Me too. Me

24:48

too. Because he won't be going to heaven.

24:50

He'll be going somewhere. We don't get

24:52

a look at him. Oh yeah, no, he's going to burn it out. But,

24:55

uh,

24:59

yeah, thou shall not pretend you

25:01

were literally crucified when in reality

25:03

you were just sleeping whilst farting.

25:07

That's going to be one of the greatest days when

25:09

he gets a fast pass to hell. It's

25:11

going to feel like the

25:13

verdict day, but like a hundred times

25:15

better. Fast

25:18

pass. Hell

25:20

does have fast pass. And,

25:26

uh, you know, and it's just,

25:28

it's just been, it's been a

25:30

lot in the last four days, Jesus. And

25:34

then on Sunday, I'm just relaxing.

25:36

And four days after perhaps the biggest

25:38

telecast in his career, Jake

25:41

Tapper follows God on threads. Whoo.

25:44

Nice. Can you believe

25:46

that? That's awesome. Jake

25:48

Tapper likes me. I told him I'm ready for

25:50

my interview on CNN. Oh,

25:53

come on. Come on, Jake. Look

25:55

at this guy. Look how sharp he looks

25:57

on television. No response. No

25:59

response. I'm sure

26:01

he just was busy.

26:04

He probably gets a lot of replies. Oh, it's

26:06

okay. You'll get interviews on CNN. At least

26:08

he follows me. Yeah, I'm ready for my

26:10

spotlight, Mr. Tapper. Oh,

26:13

you know who we should check in with? Who?

26:16

To see what, how he's doing. Do

26:18

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L-I-B-S-Y-N, ads.com. I'm Jesus. How much

27:41

time we got? We

27:44

should check in with my twin brother Todd.

27:46

Oh, let's check in with Todd. Let's see what he's up to.

27:49

I was texting him all weekend. Oh, were

27:51

you? Yeah, messing with him. Oh

27:54

boy. This is gonna

27:56

ruin my pride month, but all right. Hey

27:58

there, Lips turd. Hello

28:00

Todd, nice to see you again. Happy

28:02

Pride Month. Oh, it's

28:04

Pride Month now, huh? How you feeling?

28:06

In light of the

28:09

news? Pissed off, Jesus! Really?

28:12

Yeah, this is bullshit! Oh,

28:14

what went wrong? What do you disagree with?

28:18

Everything! Yeah? They...

28:21

they... Thirty-four

28:23

things, maybe? They... they

28:26

look what they did to him. It's

28:29

wrong! I love

28:31

him so much, Jesus! He

28:33

got justice. No, it

28:35

ain't justice. That judge... that

28:38

judge is corrupt, and he

28:40

a Democrat. And

28:42

everything. I'm just super sad, Jesus.

28:45

Super duper sad. Now,

28:47

Todd, did you channel this sadness

28:49

into a donation to the Trump

28:51

campaign? Be honest, how much did

28:53

you give him? You're damn right.

28:55

I gave everything I have. Oh

28:57

my... you already did this! I

29:00

was on that website till four

29:02

in the morning, because it was

29:04

crashing, and I gave the last 20

29:06

bucks I had. You are

29:08

broke, Todd! Save your money!

29:10

Stop donating! Yeah, I'm broke.

29:12

He doesn't need you! You

29:16

don't know him like I do! Oh,

29:18

I... I think I know him plenty well. He

29:21

looks good, my hand. I don't

29:23

think you know him enough is the problem. He's

29:25

a good man. I just look

29:27

into his eyes, and

29:29

I see everything I ever wanted. Are

29:33

you in love with him? No, you shut

29:35

your libdard mouth! You better

29:37

watch out, because he's gonna win

29:40

this election, and now we're gonna

29:42

show all you libdards what's what. Well,

29:46

I'm a little scared about November,

29:48

but... What

29:50

are you gonna be doing on Sentencing Day? Are

29:52

you gonna be like anywhere? Are you gonna go

29:55

to like a bar? Are you gonna go to

29:57

7-Eleven for their Sentencing Slurpees? You shut your dirty

29:59

mouth! I don't want to talk about that

30:03

Okay, so you're not counting down till sentencing

30:05

day I am and so is your brother

30:07

God we're all very You

30:16

got five to six weeks of of Anxiety

30:19

wondering what is going to happen fuck

30:21

you fuck you justice system fuck you

30:24

liberals. I can't take this shit no

30:26

more I

30:28

can't take this shit. No. Oh, thank God. Thank

30:31

you Okay Had

30:35

to cut his mic and get him out of here Jesus he

30:37

was His tears were

30:39

delicious, but when he starts repeating those

30:41

talking points, I just can't you know

30:43

yeah that was enough time after he

30:45

Is said libturd four times. That's when

30:47

we got to kick him off. I

30:50

know I know the right can't

30:52

mean Okay, uh

30:54

I guess that's all the time we have

30:56

here today Jesus. We're we're doing this thing

30:58

where we're going to be Putting

31:01

out shorter episodes twice a week that

31:04

sounds good to me right? Yeah,

31:06

we get to update people a little more frequently,

31:08

and then we have a tighter half-hour Yeah,

31:11

it makes it easier to edit we get to Post

31:14

more often and we get

31:16

to maybe have our content a

31:18

little more trendy and timely Who

31:21

trendy and timely so

31:23

we hope you enjoy that humans. Thank

31:25

you for spending your time with us

31:27

today I would like to bless Jesus

31:36

I would I love you to dad you there gay

31:38

boy. What month is it? By

31:41

me your biggest turkey, okay?

31:44

Hmm. I want to bless. Oh, and

31:46

you're like Trump and all and all

31:48

his supporters for threatening violence I

31:51

would like to bless you for your ally

31:54

ship over the years the centuries the millenniums

31:56

Well, maybe not that long, but you've been

31:58

a supporter for a reason long time

32:00

so I appreciate that. I

32:02

want to bless Lady Gaga's concert

32:04

special, the Chromatica Tour, now on

32:07

max. Check it out, especially if

32:09

you're gay. And

32:11

I would like to smite every

32:14

Trump publican donating to

32:16

his campaign after

32:19

that verdict came down. And

32:21

oh, I want to bless that jury. Ooh,

32:24

good call. Well, thanks for

32:26

listening, humans. Find the Godpod wherever

32:28

you get your podcasts. The Godpod.

32:31

Have it, Yahweh. And

32:33

now it's time for a new commandment.

32:36

New commandment? Thou shalt

32:38

not threaten others with violence because

32:41

your cult leader got convicted

32:44

and your feelings shud.

32:47

Fuck your feelings, okay? The

32:49

Lord has spoken. Oh

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33:20

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