0:00

This week on the God pod you

0:02

can't fix stupid right Jesus. No, you

0:04

can't Unfortunately, so best avoid it. I

0:07

mean you would know you tried how

0:09

what do you mean? Uh,

0:11

you went down to earth Oh, you

0:13

think that my goal there was to fix stupid. Yeah,

0:15

I guess so I mean, I know

0:17

it might be like a bit

0:20

reductive Listen

0:23

it's in my name God you

0:25

add one other Oh there

0:27

and it's good Yeah, I

0:29

love that. Is that a coincidence?

0:32

Come on. Also God

0:34

backwards dog and

0:36

all dogs are good. I Really

0:40

got lucky when I met you

0:42

know in Mary's Welcome

0:59

to the God pod I'm

1:01

God and I'm here today with my

1:03

son and friend Jesus

1:05

Christ. Hey humans Oh or as little

1:08

Nas refers to me as in his

1:10

new song Jay Christ Jay

1:12

Christ Yeah, Jay Jay

1:15

Quizzle Jay Swizzle

1:17

Quizzle the Dizzle

1:20

little little Jesus little

1:23

Jesus little

1:26

baby Jesus Yeah,

1:29

so did you get to listen to

1:31

the song? I did. Yeah, it's just

1:33

in case you didn't hear everybody Little

1:35

Nas X put out a song Dedicated

1:38

to you Jesus, you know, I didn't

1:40

listen to the song yet, but I

1:43

did see a visual of Him

1:48

dunking on Satan. Oh Really

1:50

in the music breaking? Yeah,

1:53

like twisting his ankle like I don't know.

1:55

Yeah. He did that meme. Oh Oh,

1:57

I Miss a little Nas X. He's.

2:00

Jesus in the video right? he

2:02

is. Yes, he he portrayed may

2:04

I am A okay with that.

2:06

If anyone's going to portray me,

2:09

why not? Little Knives Acts Now

2:11

and I And Guns in. Did.

2:13

He the mail see this. Is

2:16

this an accurate reflection of reality?

2:18

Have you played one on one

2:21

against same before and. Can.

2:23

Do. You. Know. Dunk

2:25

on him that heart? Oh absolutely. Ah,

2:28

you know we have tussled from time

2:30

to time. And. I've got my

2:32

moves to to Duncan on seen it,

2:34

I've got some spin they didn't say

2:36

it was not gonna basketball's what you're

2:38

saying he is not now he's a

2:40

little. I mean we don't really talk

2:43

about this much on the pod, but

2:45

I'm actually taller than Satan. He's a

2:47

little short king so yeah, so ah,

2:49

I can easily dunk on him and

2:51

yellow and amount Lloyds. You're.

2:53

Like five nine and his legs five foot.

2:56

Yeah. Yeah, I consider myself

2:58

five ten because you are from a

3:00

long time ago. Jesus, everybody was a

3:03

lot shorter back them. remember. This

3:05

is true, this is true, but that cross really

3:07

stressed me out. I gained a. Hey

3:10

oh that's what he said. I gave

3:12

at least an edge on the cross

3:15

synthesis of the adamant that that was

3:17

a pathway. Jesus said system he really

3:19

that cross really a threat to

3:21

be out disassociate out a little taller.

3:24

Go. Little taller on that cross. Yeah, Few

3:27

hours did me some good. You got

3:29

a little taller, you became a baller.

3:31

None of the the okay switch on

3:33

back like to a Christ. that's a

3:35

line from the song bitch, I'm Back

3:37

Like J Christ I'm Sin again because

3:39

he's on a hearse. It's just births

3:41

is is a mild be word but

3:43

okay. I'm filed

3:45

the bees. Okay, I'm

3:48

so did you like the song? I

3:50

did. I did. The best line was bitch I'm

3:52

back Like J Christ, I'm Senate. Get the Gays

3:54

Heights I don't know it's been a means by

3:56

it. I. Guess a needs gun?

3:58

I mean I'm I'm like going

4:00

to. I'm. Finalizing plans and which

4:03

I will get the keys. Hype: Oh.

4:06

Oh, I don't use google it

4:08

right now. jesus because oh sin

4:10

and means six thing to. I'm.

4:13

Sake seeing to get the kid I

4:15

know I knew it wasn't finalizing. Plants

4:17

have you been blasting Little Mouse x

4:20

the song or weekend? Oh yeah while

4:22

Doom Across fair at the Gm in

4:24

I myself will. Ah while

4:26

for all game were cleaning so

4:28

many so me opportunity to spin

4:30

j Christ but thank you thank

4:32

you little nice. For.

4:35

Are paying tribute to me once again. Now.

4:37

Classic Jesus jokes their everybody. He

4:39

said that he's doing curls that

4:41

I got that one from Yale.

4:44

I got that one from you.

4:46

By. I got it from internet

4:49

comments section know I had

4:51

a busy weekend. Jesus Ihome.

4:53

Yeah. I spent the Friday night

4:56

in a hospital. Whites: Did you

4:58

know that you were hospitalized? Yeah.

5:01

He didn't see me post about it

5:03

on Facebook. Okay so I'll be honest.

5:05

three hundred four hundred thousand people saw

5:07

this post You? I guess you are

5:09

one of them I saw I saw

5:11

a post like a day after with

5:13

like an update. but I thought you're

5:15

just like being an engagement horde. like

5:17

pretending to be in the hospital or

5:19

something. You wow you don't I love

5:21

how you don't even check in with

5:23

me on slime sorry assume. That.

5:26

I would be lying. I first of

5:28

all, Jesus, I don't lie to my

5:30

audience. Ah, I'm

5:32

sorry, I'm so I've honestly sorry I

5:34

have Not about shit like that. I

5:36

should have been. Are you okay? Oh,

5:38

it's fine, less hassle. The update: It

5:41

wasn't a heart attack, it was just.

5:44

It. Was a fart attack. Y

5:47

de no l I saw I

5:49

was repaid of the i ate

5:51

some food really quickly. And.

5:55

It was I got really really

5:57

gases okay and also my left.

6:00

The older was hurting. Oh, he

6:02

probably because I slept rob or

6:04

something stupid or I've been using

6:06

my phone too much. but. I.

6:09

You know, googling those symptoms.

6:11

It's like oh, left shoulder

6:14

pain? yeah morning. a lot.

6:17

In. Know. Better. Be careful,

6:20

God, the whole universe is depending on

6:22

you. Yeah, so I went in there

6:24

and wasted all their time. Oh

6:26

got a test on? There are like

6:28

years. You're totally fine. Oh

6:30

wow. Good. Thanks for wasting

6:32

a bed. Hear about Heaven Gen!

6:35

Ed's X or farting in our

6:37

faces nonstop language or Belgian imparting

6:40

the entire time you hear? Ah,

6:42

maybe next time. He

6:44

the little slower dip shit. So yeah.

6:46

but you know what? They know, they

6:49

didn't say that. You know they said.

6:51

You. Did the right. They. Ah

6:54

of the I did the right thing. If

6:56

you think you have symptoms, always come in

6:58

and get checked out. Better. Safe

7:00

than sorry. Now. And

7:02

I'll have happily I collect a

7:05

little money off. Yeah, while they're

7:07

at it. Oh, I'm. Gonna.

7:09

Let my insurance plan and heaven take

7:11

your. i assume that we have insurance

7:14

in heaven. Jesus last time I checked

7:16

yeah. I. Haven't checked for the twenty

7:18

twenty four benefits actually. Maybe I should look

7:20

into that by it's own. Now you do.

7:22

And sure, us. right? Oh,

7:25

I'm going to have to ask

7:27

marry mags about that and get

7:29

back to whom. I'm a little

7:31

concerned. Now I think I'd need

7:33

to go check out my God

7:35

Hq benefits because I'm not. I'm

7:38

not convinced right now, not feeling

7:40

convinced. Skill of the Ac, a

7:42

Settler The The Eight See A

7:44

have been. From. Exit. He

7:46

at our ability care act as the worse than

7:49

having cool so you're all good. I'm relieved to

7:51

hear that next time I will check in on

7:53

you. I apologize again as are you are not

7:55

know you know what know in the oh jesus

7:57

you know what. No. hard

7:59

feelings Okay. All right. Honestly,

8:02

you owed me one. What?

8:04

Did I check on you when you were

8:07

hanging from the cross? Oh, that's true. No,

8:11

I was, you were like, dad,

8:13

why have you forsaken me? And

8:16

I was like, just man up.

8:20

Man up. This is

8:22

a lesson on how to be a man. Yeah, get

8:24

up on that cross and stick it out. Yeah. You're

8:26

going to grow an inch and you'll like it. All

8:30

right. Next subject. It's been

8:32

fricking cold lately. Jesus. Have you seen

8:34

this? I've heard. I've

8:37

heard so much for global

8:39

warming. Am I right? No,

8:46

seriously. I have seen those comments. And

8:49

every time I see it, I just.

8:52

I can't believe that there are

8:54

still. People

8:56

out there to think

8:59

that that's a funny comment. Yeah.

9:02

Well, earnestly, like, like,

9:04

they legitimately, like, it's never going

9:06

away. And this is why people

9:09

have started referring to it as climate

9:11

change instead, because it's a better. Yeah.

9:16

And then you have these jerks saying, what

9:18

global warming is so cold. There's no issue.

9:20

Meanwhile, by the way, hate to bring the

9:22

mood down, but 2023 hottest year on record.

9:25

Yeah. On record. On

9:30

how do you say, how do you pronounce

9:32

record record? Is it

9:34

record record record on

9:37

record? I just wanted to be more dramatic. So

9:39

I changed how I pronounced it anyway.

9:42

We're getting sidetracked. This is, this is

9:44

exactly the problem. Instead of

9:46

talking about the core issue, we're

9:48

getting distracted by dumb stuff, like

9:51

people saying stuff like that. But you know

9:53

what, Jesus, the tide has turned. There's

9:56

way fewer of those comments. There's

9:58

Way more people who do. Realize now.

10:01

Oh. Yeah, this is real. We can't

10:03

Just I'm. Pollutant.

10:06

Pollutant pollutant. Think it won't do

10:08

anything? Yeah. It's getting

10:10

harder to ignore the very

10:12

clear warning signs of climate

10:15

change. Yeah. People.

10:17

Had been able to ignore it for a

10:19

while because they couldn't see it in their

10:21

backyard. But now speaking of what you can

10:24

see, I feel like it snows less. In.

10:26

The northeast in particular. When.

10:28

I was a baby. Jesus, I was seen

10:30

A lot of snow in the northeast of

10:32

America barely see it anymore. As

10:35

do you. Had the Weather Channel

10:38

in Bethlehem? Yeah, yeah. Getting

10:40

warmer ten August or in the

10:42

winter? Yeah, so now, but I

10:44

as fricking cold as as. As

10:47

well as what's on the Weather channel. They

10:49

said a record half inch. Snow.

10:51

Fall in Little Rock, Arkansas. And

10:54

I was. legs. Was

10:57

the that means it's literally

10:59

never snowed their oh really?

11:01

Wow. I don't know. on our don't quote

11:03

me on this, this is this. Some.

11:06

Now save on the nose. I am. It's

11:08

I guess Arkansas is really close down there

11:10

to Texas. True. My.

11:13

My geography ain't that good, but.

11:15

You. Know Texas' or the entire

11:17

south of America is like. Totally.

11:21

Old yeah totally called Bro

11:23

I in Chicago on Monday

11:25

there is a high of

11:27

five degrees and alone. Negative:

11:29

A Us. Ah, Well.

11:32

Good job Humans! I gave you one planet and

11:34

yeah, had to screw it up. But

11:37

we kid here on the god. But. Oh

11:40

and by the way, Jesus, Abby

11:42

Martin Luther King Day. Today's the

11:44

day where all the Republicans who

11:46

spend all year thwarting his dream.

11:49

Come out and. Make

11:51

statements in support of it, quote

11:54

him in contrast to the actual

11:56

things they do although today I

11:59

don't know, they might be distracted

12:01

because they're doing a little Republican

12:04

primary in Iowa. Oh

12:06

yeah. And I've been saying the

12:08

whole time, Trump is going to be the

12:10

stupid candidate. There's a blizzard in

12:12

Iowa today and I saw Trump said, everybody

12:14

should still go out and vote. Yeah,

12:17

we don't care about the blizzard. Even if

12:19

you die, if you vote, it was worth

12:21

it. Yeah. Like,

12:24

he literally does not care if

12:26

his own supporters die. Yeah.

12:29

I mean, I'm not surprised. He

12:31

also said last week that he

12:33

hoped the economy crash would crash

12:36

so that it would help him get elected. Oh yeah.

12:39

Which also, he was acknowledging

12:41

that the economy is good right now. Right.

12:44

Can you imagine if Biden said that? I

12:46

know. Or any Democrat.

12:48

I hope the economy crashes so that I

12:50

can win. Yeah. But

12:53

for him, it's just like, ha

12:55

ha, that's crazy Trump being Trump.

12:58

There he goes again. I know in one of those

13:00

people where it's like it doesn't matter what they do

13:02

or say, everybody's like, ah,

13:05

that's just him. Yeah. That's

13:07

how I feel about Satan. It's like

13:10

Homer Simpson running for president. Yeah.

13:13

Except totally evil. And

13:15

everybody's just like, ah, that's

13:18

Homer. That's how I feel about

13:20

Satan. Oh, that's just Satan being a

13:22

horrible stain on the universe. Satan

13:24

gonna Satan. The

13:28

Cowboys lost Jesus. Did you see that? Oh,

13:31

I did. I was watching. They

13:35

got destroyed. Oh,

13:38

it's great to see by the

13:40

Packers. I like that because I don't like

13:42

that. From being America's

13:44

team, the rest of

13:46

America's. But

13:50

I don't like them because, um, their

13:53

owner, their billionaire owner,

13:55

Jerry Jones. Did you

13:57

know he, you don't remember in Forrest Gump. Well,

14:01

remember an American history when there

14:03

was these students, black

14:05

students being led into a school desegregating,

14:08

I think maybe it was

14:10

Arkansas and, and Forrest Gump

14:12

was there and he was like, ma'am, ma'am,

14:15

you dropped your book. Remember

14:18

that? Yes. Yeah.

14:20

It was just like, Jerry Jones was there that day.

14:22

Did you know that? No. What?

14:24

He was there. He's in the

14:26

famous picture. Whoa. The famous

14:28

picture. He was literally there right next to

14:31

Forrest Gump, except I don't think

14:33

that he was there by accident. Oh,

14:36

go on. If you know what I mean. Anyway,

14:39

it's nice seeing the Cowboys get smited

14:42

all the time. And

14:44

just like, they cut away to his face

14:46

and he's just. It

14:49

was such an embarrassing loss. It wasn't even close

14:51

either. Packers

14:54

came out hard and beat their

14:56

booty the whole game. That's

14:58

what he said. Yeah. Came

15:01

out hard and beat their booty. Go

15:03

Packers. They won't win this. They won't even get

15:05

to the Super Bowl, but it was fun. It

15:08

was fine. Why not? They're just not having

15:10

a great season. It's

15:12

been a very mixed bag. It all

15:14

depends on who turns it on in

15:17

the playoffs, Jesus. Yeah. Yeah. You

15:19

ain't no shit. Um,

15:22

Jesus doesn't know. Don't place your bets because

15:24

of Jesus. Jesus is not a good football

15:26

prognosticator. I'm not, I'm not. I'm no expert.

15:29

I'm rooting for the Packers. You know, who

15:31

else I'm rooting for the Detroit Lions. Oh,

15:34

really? They've been terrible

15:36

forever and I like to root for

15:38

the underdog. I was watching

15:40

that game last night too. They versed

15:42

the LA Rams and this was their

15:44

first, first time getting to the playoffs

15:47

in like 50 years. The city of Detroit

15:49

needs that. And it's cool because

15:51

Eminem is very happy about it. So

15:54

I'm hoping, I'm hoping

15:56

that the Super Bowl is just the

15:58

chief's versus the Lions so that they

16:00

can constantly. cut in between Taylor Swift

16:02

and Eminem's reaction. Good

16:04

play for the Chiefs, Taylor's dancing,

16:06

Eminem is pissed. Good,

16:09

you know, Eminem's like, I'll rap

16:11

about this. They could perform together at the

16:13

Super Bowl. Yeah. That'd

16:16

be fun. Could become besties. Yeah. Anyway,

16:21

dumb stuff, dumb stuff. You know,

16:23

something happened this week, Jesus, that

16:26

really caught my attention and it

16:28

kind of infuriated me was

16:31

this podcast, these

16:33

dudes, somebody put

16:36

out a George Carlin

16:38

AI standup special.

16:42

Oh, no. Did you see, did you

16:44

not hear about this? I saw you

16:46

posting about it. Yeah, you saw me

16:48

posting about it. Okay. Not the hospital stuff, but this

16:50

I did. Yeah. And

16:52

it's a new article. I saw,

16:54

you know, George Carlin's

16:57

daughter, Kelly, has been speaking

16:59

out against it since

17:01

it happened. And

17:04

a lot of people with brains have

17:06

been speaking out against it saying this is

17:08

wrong. People in comedy, you know, his, and

17:10

then most importantly, I would say his family,

17:13

saying this is super messed up.

17:17

Yeah. Because they were not asked for any

17:19

permission to do this. Yeah.

17:22

And I would say, you know,

17:25

bringing back an actor, you know,

17:28

if their state is getting money, bringing

17:30

back Elvis, whatever, maybe

17:33

that's one thing because they're doing the music they

17:35

always did in life. Yeah.

17:37

You know, they're not making new music. Yeah.

17:40

And saying, oh, this is Elvis. This,

17:43

this, they've made an entire, they

17:45

put words into his mouth. That's

17:49

messed up. And just made it

17:51

up. And there's going

17:53

to be people out there in the future who will

17:55

watch this and just take this as one of his

17:58

specials. Have you seen, have you seen? his

18:00

extra special he did after he died.

18:02

Bleh. You know, I've

18:05

seen the dudes in the comments, they

18:07

are friggin' scary, Jesus. They

18:09

will defend this. This is the hill they

18:11

will die on. They will defend this like

18:14

because they love AI. And

18:17

they're just like, George Carlin would love this. He'd

18:20

make a joke, he'd love this, blah blah blah. Like,

18:25

what about listening to his family? And they're like, how do

18:27

you, and you say to them, how do you know, do

18:29

you commune with the dead? And they're

18:31

just like, yo, well, yeah, and then

18:33

you're like, yeah, but his

18:35

family directly said

18:41

that he would hate this. I think that they

18:43

would know. And

18:45

of course, it's not funny. That means nothing

18:47

to these idiots. It means nothing when

18:50

you say that. This is

18:52

exactly like what's been happening

18:54

to his family since he passed away,

18:56

where conservatives try to

18:58

claim him as their own. Did

19:01

you know that they've been doing that the whole time? I did

19:03

not know that, no. Well,

19:05

because of what? Some of his standup routines?

19:07

Some things he said? Like, why? Yeah,

19:10

they're just like, oh, he was totally conservative because

19:12

he didn't like censorship

19:15

of any kind as if

19:17

that is what makes you

19:19

either liberal or conservative. Like

19:23

as if liberals don't hate it just as much,

19:26

or many people. So anyway,

19:31

anything that's successful, they try to claim it

19:33

as their own. So

19:36

like Barbie came out there like, Barbie's

19:38

terrible. Barbie's horrible.

19:41

We hate Barbie. And

19:44

then they saw that Barbie was like super

19:46

successful. They're like, actually, did you know that

19:48

Barbie is a conservative parable? Actually

19:52

there are some very conservative themes in there. Actually

19:57

actually, this is

19:59

what they do. with anything that's extremely

20:01

popular, they just try to

20:04

say like, yeah, that's my, like me, for

20:06

example. For you, Jesus.

20:08

Yes, yes. For you. You

20:10

were like the biggest hippie

20:12

socialist the world's ever seen,

20:14

man. Yeah, brother. And they

20:16

turned you into, what did they

20:19

do? Because you were so popular,

20:21

they turned you into Republican Jesus.

20:23

Republican Jesus. Republican Jesus

20:25

doesn't care about your health

20:27

care. Republican Jesus

20:30

doesn't like immigrants. Republican

20:33

Jesus doesn't like when Jesus

20:35

wears a rainbow sash. Or

20:38

on a related note, gay

20:41

people. Alright, this is good. Let's

20:43

workshop this. Okay. We'll be

20:45

right back after these messages. When

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may apply. See site for details. So

21:18

she posts, I actually asked her if she wanted

21:20

to be a guest in the God pod to

21:22

talk about this. She was like,

21:24

Yeah. And then I think

21:26

the last couple days, this has really been

21:28

hitting her heart. Her her rage

21:31

has turned into sadness, because

21:34

she sees there's no popular like

21:37

support. And for that

21:39

for for them speaking back against it.

21:41

But today, I don't know,

21:44

we'll see. But that's

21:46

fine. Today. An article

21:50

came out by vice opinion

21:53

column by Matthew Galt, she posted this.

21:57

The George Carlin AI stand up is worse than

21:59

you can imagine. As a

22:01

long time Carlin fan, I was morbidly curious.

22:03

I wish I had never clicked the link.

22:05

Now this is true. I actually, I listened

22:08

to one joke. One

22:11

joke of this. And I

22:13

was so horrified. I have

22:15

resolved never to listen to the rest of it. Good.

22:19

Because I, it's- Is this

22:21

like a video? Or what is it? Yeah,

22:23

it's a video on YouTube. Okay, okay.

22:26

And it starts out,

22:28

you know, he's like, Hey,

22:31

yeah, you might be

22:33

wondering where I've been. I've been dead.

22:36

And, you know, it's

22:39

just very, it's very creepy.

22:42

Yeah. It's

22:44

worse than you could possibly imagine. The cursed

22:46

hour long special is the work of Doodsy,

22:49

a podcast hosted by Will Sasso and Chad

22:51

Colten and curated by an AI program with

22:53

the same name. To start

22:55

with a special Doodsy and tones that devoured

22:57

the work of the long dead committee genius

22:59

and rendered into a terrible hour long assembly

23:01

of Carlin's work called I'm Glad I'm Dead.

23:04

What? A fair warning from a fan

23:06

of the real Carlin since myself, it cannot be

23:09

unseen. The

23:11

AI comedian, the AI comedian, which is

23:13

not funny and only sounds vaguely like

23:15

Carlin spends the hour riffing on various

23:17

topics like Taylor Swift. What a waste

23:19

of time to talk

23:21

about Taylor Swift of all the things that

23:23

Carlin can talk about. I

23:26

guarantee you, he would

23:28

not talk about something as

23:30

hacky as Taylor Swift. It's not the

23:33

God pod. It's George Carlin. I

23:38

mean, if he was, at least it would

23:40

be funny. Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah. And

23:43

you asked again, I have

23:45

not heard it, but I definitely trust

23:47

this person's review and I trust her

23:50

family and I trust that

23:52

I heard one line and there was not. I

23:55

was already cringing so hard. Carlin's family

23:57

did not give them permission to create

23:59

the special. and his

24:01

daughter Kelly publicly publicly denounced it on X.

24:05

Yeah, my dad hears her what she

24:07

said. Yeah, my dad spent a lifetime

24:09

perfecting his craft from his very human

24:11

life, brain and imagination.

24:14

No machine will ever replace his

24:16

genius. She wrote, These

24:19

AI generated products are

24:21

clever attempts at trying to

24:23

recreate a mind that will never

24:25

exist again. Let's let the artist's

24:28

work speak for itself. Humans

24:30

are so afraid of the void that

24:32

we can't let what has fallen into

24:34

it stay there. She also said

24:37

here's an idea. How about we give some actual

24:39

living human comedians a listen to? But if you

24:41

want to listen to the genuine George

24:44

Carlin, he has 14 specials that

24:46

you can find anywhere. Great point. Yeah, exactly. What

24:49

do you need a fake Carlin for?

24:52

It just just it just astonishes

24:54

me that they they

24:56

don't know that he would hate this. Yeah,

24:59

like who wouldn't? Yeah, wouldn't hate

25:02

people putting words into their mouth. You

25:04

spend your whole life perfecting

25:06

putting out only the best

25:08

possible jokes and you become

25:11

the greatest comedian of all time by

25:14

many people's account. And then

25:16

after you die something somebody invents AI

25:19

and they make a special where you're

25:21

just not funny. Anyway, is it

25:24

the end of the world? No, I don't

25:26

think it like did that well. Numbers wise, I

25:28

think a lot of people

25:31

shunned it. Yeah. So that's

25:33

kind of the good news maybe. Yeah,

25:35

and I imagine people will get over this pretty quickly.

25:39

Like it's a stupid

25:41

toy that's amusing for a little while, but

25:43

after a while it's like, okay. Yeah,

25:46

it's like another NFT. Right. Right.

25:51

You know, NFTs are dead. Deader

25:53

than dead Jesus. Oh yeah. Thank

25:55

goodness. Thank

25:57

goodness. Thank God. Thank

25:59

Godness. So anyway, that's all

26:01

we have to say about that. We

26:05

talked about that. We talked about little nars.

26:09

What else will? So we dug about. I

26:12

got some some funny ones. Here,

26:15

How did you hear about this? This isn't an

26:17

of funny, this is. Florida.

26:19

School District remove dictionaries from

26:21

libraries citing law championed by

26:24

the census. Oh,

26:26

that's not funny. Ah,

26:28

but I think this might be

26:31

that they're doing it. Like.

26:33

The headline. Caught. My

26:35

attention to be like wow. Florida.

26:38

School is removing him. Take

26:40

snares and encyclopedias. And. But

26:42

I since I'm the librarians is my be

26:44

doing it to throw him. Oh,

26:47

in which case, Happy.

26:50

Ending Must read the article. Be.

26:52

A Scam Be a county school district

26:54

located in the Florida Panhandle. As

26:58

remove several dictionaries from his library shelves

27:00

over concerns that making the dictionaries available

27:02

to students would violate Florida law. The.

27:05

American Heritage Children's Dictionary, Webster's Dictionary for

27:07

Students, and Merriam Webster's Elementary Dictionary among

27:10

more than twenty eight hundred books that

27:12

have been pulled from county school libraries

27:14

in place in the storage. This game

27:17

be a county school district says these

27:19

text may violate Eight Speed Ten Sixty

27:21

Nine a bill signed into law by

27:24

Gov to Santa. some may twenty Twenty

27:26

Three has a d do Ten Sixty

27:28

Nine years residence the right to demand

27:31

the removal of any library book that

27:33

depicts are described sexual conduct as defined.

27:35

Under Florida law whether or not the book

27:37

is pornographic. Sit. Rather

27:40

than considering complaints this can be a

27:42

county school board adopted an emergency rule

27:44

as to and are required to distrust

27:46

librarians to conduct review of all library

27:49

books and remove titles that may violate

27:51

H B Ten Sixteen I I love

27:53

the bureaucracy of this. Yeah, I

27:56

can't believe. That they are

27:58

just keep doing a review of. Every

28:00

book in the library. That.

28:02

Is ridiculous. Every book.

28:05

So. That a try. To

28:08

dictionaries were pulled out. Because.

28:10

They have to review every book and. A.

28:13

Dictionary might have the word

28:16

Saxon. It's. Raw. And

28:18

that describe that could describe sexual

28:20

or homes as well. Yeah, Yeah.

28:25

Fly. Subtext like Anne Frank's diary of

28:27

a Young Girl, The adventures and the

28:29

memoirs of Sherlock Holmes and Agatha Christie's

28:31

Death in the Nile are no longer

28:33

available. To scam Be A

28:36

County Students Twenty three novels by Stephen

28:38

King have been removed. The Dragged It

28:40

has also sweat the books Popular with

28:42

the political right, including Atlas Shrugged. And.

28:45

Two books by

28:47

conservative pundit Bill

28:49

or Riley. Ah.

28:52

Yeah, he was. Mormon

28:55

suppose a about it he he posted this

28:57

will not stand. That

28:59

I did not have below Riley

29:02

voting The Big Lebowski. On

29:05

my A. Twenty Twenty

29:07

four. Bingo bird. He. Did.

29:09

And the yeah, well, the

29:12

scorpions eating my face party.

29:16

Candidate. Surprised when he finds scorpions

29:18

in his face. Of the

29:21

a his books Killing Jesus

29:23

and Killing was at Reagan

29:25

or Kennedy. Of one

29:27

of them all. milligrams. All.

29:30

Of the expel him reagan all of

29:32

his books. that's how that's other titles.

29:34

How. You feel about having a book out there

29:37

written by below Riley called Ceiling Seize. On

29:40

I'm not a fan of this basically click

29:42

bait. my yeah he wanted me to go

29:44

on tour with him. When he when the

29:46

book came out I said no of course

29:48

you imagine if there was a books I

29:51

go We want to say it. Like.

29:54

It was telling the killing. What?

29:56

View. below riley our ssssss

29:59

Yeah, he would be pissed.

30:02

He would be just as pissed

30:04

as he was about this Florida

30:07

school removing his books. He

30:09

sent so many of those too at

30:11

this point. The

30:14

reality in Escambia County serves as a

30:16

rejoinder to DeSantis, who has described

30:18

concerns about book removals as a

30:20

leftist activist hoax and a false

30:23

political narrative. Oh,

30:25

interesting. So

30:29

I don't know, there doesn't

30:31

seem to be any reporting on that

30:33

because it's librarians and

30:38

masks or something, or county

30:40

and- Yeah, just medical

30:43

districts. This

30:45

is their counter narrative from DeSantis

30:48

is like, oh, they're just doing

30:50

this to make me look bad. And

30:53

the funny thing, maybe they are, and if they are,

30:55

good job. But

30:58

they're following the rules.

31:01

Yeah, exactly. They don't want to get fired.

31:04

They're just following the rules, Bill. When

31:06

DeSantis signed the book law, I supported the

31:08

theme because there was abuse going on in

31:10

Florida. There were far left progressive

31:12

people trying to impose an agenda on children.

31:15

There's no doubt about it. That's

31:17

a quote from O'Reilly. When he

31:19

threatened to find who decided to ban his

31:21

books and put their pictures on television. Wow.

31:25

Well, you can't have a show anymore. He's

31:27

not on television. Yeah.

31:30

And this

31:32

will not- I love all these ex-news anchors

31:36

that thought that they were like king of

31:38

the world and then they lose their job

31:40

on a news network

31:43

and nobody gives a crap about them anymore.

31:45

Yeah. Hey, Jesus, you want me

31:47

to blow your mind? Let me whisper a

31:49

name. Tucker

31:51

Carlson. I

31:54

forgot about him. You forgot that

31:56

guy existed? Yeah, now he has a show on X.

32:00

The I'm guessing Don Lemon is

32:02

launching a show. It acts as

32:04

well. Yeah, I got a

32:06

Diane, I'm and Ben Shapiro. Now what

32:08

happened? Damn, he's lost without even is.

32:11

He. Needs to make money

32:13

to pay his rent or buy

32:15

his mortgage. And. So he

32:17

was like, or he's going full, he'll.

32:20

I like and wrestling. Jesus when.

32:24

When. There's the good guy wrestler. And.

32:26

Now and now is bad guy. Yeah.

32:29

Now is a bug that was fast. He

32:31

lost his job. There was like,

32:34

well, Guess. I'm a

32:36

conservative now. Oh

32:40

really weird, right? It is

32:42

very strange. Very.

32:44

Strange. The. Weird, right?

32:47

He. Joined the weird, right? That's.

32:49

What he did, the weird rights. As

32:52

a weird right, that's it. That's what I

32:54

want to call them. I want to call

32:56

them the far right or even just the

32:58

right because that implies maybe they're correct. I

33:00

want to call them the weird. The.

33:03

Weirdo here are always find a

33:05

new things to boycott and getting

33:07

mad about. Tom stopped. Like.

33:10

A. Pop Sorrow? yeah Lisbon last week Saying

33:12

that Taylor Swift is a sigh up.

33:15

Whites. Did. You Not

33:17

hear about this Now. Jesus.

33:20

I heard a thought you were the

33:22

biggest Taylor's with them or I try

33:24

to avoid the nonsense about Taylor. I

33:26

mean she's She's facing many headwinds with

33:28

her rising. Popularity.

33:31

But no other at that. They said that she's

33:33

a sigh op and a lot of people were

33:35

like a. What? Is that

33:38

that's so weird? I don't even know that

33:40

term. A

33:42

psychological operation, By.

33:44

The Pentagon. Ah,

33:47

Is those you know what it as a waters

33:49

on Fox News. Is. Floating. How

33:51

do I did a this

33:53

I think now yeah, insane

33:55

theory and just like that

33:58

any time. And time. Come

34:00

up with some more nonsense. Yep

34:03

dumb. Down to gobbled up. Your.

34:05

Like to see his shoes this will

34:07

it is said. It was said in

34:09

his on T V. Anyway,

34:12

you can't fix stupid rises is

34:15

now you can send fortunately Cel

34:17

best avoid it. I mean you

34:19

know you tried. How. What? You

34:21

mean. Oh. You went down to

34:23

earth. L you think that that my goal

34:25

there was the fix? Stupid? Yeah I guess. so.

34:28

I guess it is Yeah I

34:30

mean I know my my be

34:32

like I'm a bit productive but

34:34

I think yeah. You

34:37

know, Being. Cool being nice,

34:40

Is smart. Yeah, I

34:42

try to be nice. It's cool.

34:45

To. Be empathetic. Yeah,

34:48

It's. Good to be empathetic. They don't

34:50

to people don't have any empathy anymore.

34:53

Have you noticed that? Yeah, I have.

34:55

Unfortunately, I mean I

34:57

asked me with i've. I've. Been asking people

34:59

lot of good questions on my facebook page

35:02

and one of them was like how can

35:04

you tell when someone isn't really your friend.

35:07

Who. Would. This is,

35:09

I know I didn't. Oh wow,

35:11

that's a good question. Really good

35:13

answers. The major star the coming

35:15

from. Glad they may make me sad. I

35:17

bet what's a red flag your friend is

35:19

actually your friend and what's crazy is our

35:22

when I read this I'm like wow I

35:24

have like. Two.

35:26

Friends, ah somebody, insects and on year

35:28

when you're at the hospital for example

35:31

the I for example I was

35:33

gonna say you then you just reminded

35:35

me that you didn't. Say.

35:38

When I was in the hallway. Assumed

35:44

that I was a bad person

35:46

doing a bad thing. I assumed

35:48

you heard engagement horror just tested

35:51

Milan. While

35:53

I'm sorry. ah ah okay let

35:55

me read some. some of these

35:57

norms kids is here. Good one.

36:00

The bags. Oh, here's used

36:02

the top comment. They. Literally

36:04

never ask how you doing or express any interest

36:06

in your life. It's all about them all the

36:08

time. Yeah, Never

36:10

have that where it's like you're

36:12

the only one checking in. Yes,

36:15

they never text you. Yeah, It's.

36:17

Important a friendship be

36:19

reciprocal. A friendship

36:21

or mansukh relationship. When.

36:24

They're not happy for you and something bigger

36:26

wonderful happens in your life. Oh

36:29

yeah, Maybe. I'll

36:31

be exciting about empathy. Woohoo!

36:34

When they belittle you in front of

36:36

others to make themselves feel better. Ah,

36:39

And the ever had that ah miss yeah

36:41

I guess I mean I might do that.

36:43

a little bit on the podcast was the

36:45

reason that that's not to make me feel

36:48

better, it's because we're trying to do a

36:50

comedy podcast had right right it's funny. I

36:52

get why are doing in here hurts a

36:54

little bit you know the come across as

36:56

stung crazy and race and it's but yeah

36:58

it's a leaves you feeling a bit. Cross.

37:04

For earth, the upper of. The

37:08

are lots of things like that. It's his

37:10

interest it was. I found a very interesting.

37:13

Know. It's a great question. You.

37:15

Think up a lot agree questions for the

37:17

human. Our. Those.

37:19

Will thank you. You really do. It's

37:22

just it's a sin issue.

37:24

A. Close. To my heart

37:26

these days because like I said,

37:28

people are seem to be less

37:30

empathetic because. Perhaps. Because

37:32

capitalism is crossing everyone. as

37:35

the billionaires take every that that he also that's

37:37

not a things is. People

37:40

low. Billionaire. I

37:42

mean, that's not new. Rise

37:45

but the billionaire complex.

37:48

Legs. Yeah, Taylor Swift was.

37:50

She was beloved. She was beloved.

37:52

And then her bank account got

37:55

one penny over a billion dollar

37:57

deficit. and there's those

37:59

people out there who are like, yo, she's

38:01

a billionaire. There are no ethical billionaires.

38:03

She's a bad person. Well, and I

38:05

think partly with Taylor, people are just

38:07

very tired of all the coverage, like

38:10

you can't even watch football anymore. Uh,

38:12

personally, it doesn't bother me, but this

38:14

is, I think people are like... Interesting

38:18

than looking at an advertisement or.

38:21

Yeah. Looking at the announcers. Yeah.

38:25

I don't need to see Boomera Sison or... I

38:28

think with her, it just comes to like, comes

38:31

down to how much attention she always gets

38:33

everywhere. Whereas, cause like, yeah,

38:35

she probably is a billionaire, but is

38:38

she out there like tweeting batshit stuff

38:40

like, like Elon or J.K. Roland? Yeah.

38:42

I mean, there's gotta be a scale

38:44

here of bad, you know, the worst

38:46

ones like Elon or whatever to ones

38:48

that are like, they try and, you

38:50

know, they're trying to give it away.

38:52

It's literally hard to give away that

38:54

much money. Have you ever, have none

38:56

of you ever seen Brewster's Millions? I

38:59

haven't. They should make an update

39:02

to that one called Brewster's Billions. Oh yeah.

39:04

Get with the times. Yeah.

39:06

Richard Pryor was amazing

39:09

in this movie and he tries,

39:11

he inherits, he's just a poor guy,

39:13

just a minor league ball player in

39:16

Hackensack, New Jersey. Hackensack. And

39:19

he, he inherits from

39:21

like a distant

39:24

white uncle or grandfather

39:26

or something like millions and millions of

39:28

dollars. And he has, if he spends

39:30

enough, like 30 million

39:33

or something, he, he gets 300 million.

39:38

Oh. He can spend it in like a week. Interesting

39:40

premise. And so there's your premise of the

39:43

movie and it's actually hard. It shows how

39:45

hard it is to do that. Yeah. Anyway,

39:49

check it out. I went way too long about

39:51

this old movie that you haven't seen, Jesus. No,

39:55

it's all right. You, you love movies. You're a movie

39:57

girlie. I get it. I am a movie

39:59

girl. In a. Barbie. World. Will.

40:02

Be right back after these messages.

40:05

She. Does. Pay

40:07

her people very well. We'll see

40:09

what she does with their money

40:11

as time goes on. Yet.

40:14

Also they're like see know I saw

40:16

someone being liked are no ethical billionaires

40:18

that not tell us where does not

40:20

exempt. On going off

40:22

on threads. On. My mood. the

40:24

cancer cancer's here for Taylor

40:26

and. Own

40:29

And then I'm. At

40:32

people a year but she does made

40:34

it was song Susie stepping onto like

40:37

no no no selling tee shirts they're

40:39

making minimum wage. They participate in her

40:41

success. Thirty to deposited it is a

40:44

my yeah that's not. Exactly

40:46

the same thing is. With.

40:50

Some of these other billionaires do, but a

40:52

winner I'd results as of nuance and complexity,

40:54

the all the stuff and that that's one

40:56

of the things that really bothers me these

40:58

days. Jesus is. In.

41:00

An age of very fast

41:03

three second attention span internet

41:05

culture, There's. No room.

41:08

For. Complexity or nuance? Yeah anymore?

41:10

Yeah, yeah to story. Is it

41:13

any wonder? action? All

41:15

the Sun social Media. Takes

41:18

over the world and all the sudden.

41:20

You. Know Roe V Wade is overturned. Coincidence.

41:25

Well. Maybe it's because they were

41:27

working on that for like fifty years. Yeah,

41:30

But. But. I just do.

41:32

There's just no more nuance in

41:35

discussions about. Abortion

41:37

and. Choice. Used

41:40

to have used to be very,

41:42

very nuanced, right? Because it's of

41:44

nuanced discussion. Yeah. And then.

41:47

Now. It's just. Internet

41:49

Comments section. Yeah. It's

41:52

really sad. It's fight,

41:54

fight, fight. Did. you hear

41:56

that internet comments section we're talking to

41:59

you you I think. Be

42:01

more nuanced. Okay. I

42:04

have some fun stories here. I also

42:06

have, we can talk about, we

42:10

can answer some Ask God questions. Okay.

42:13

Yeah. Okay. So Jesus, here

42:15

are some Ask God questions. Let's

42:18

do them real quick. I asked the day on

42:20

Facebook some questions

42:24

and let's see what people said. Okay.

42:27

Max says, can you make me happy, please?

42:30

Aww. Aww. Uh,

42:32

no? I

42:36

think it's something that you have to pursue

42:38

yourself, right Jesus? I would say so. Yeah.

42:41

Why, why aren't you happy? I mean, now

42:43

maybe, maybe you are depressed and maybe you

42:45

should try to seek out some help professionally.

42:48

That'd be a good first step. Ooh, good

42:50

answer Jesus. Very good. What

42:53

else is, I mean, hold on, hold on.

42:55

I'm still helping. Do you need to like

42:57

work on your work-life balance maybe? Is there

42:59

a family member annoying you? Do

43:02

we need to eliminate somebody from your life? Eliminate

43:05

somebody. A lot of questions here, bud. That

43:07

sounded like a threat. Okay. Uh,

43:10

Bruce asks, God, what did you do to

43:13

entertain yourself before you made all of this?

43:15

Now this has been well documented. I

43:17

had the dinosaurs for like a

43:20

really long time. Yes. So

43:23

I had this planet and I was

43:25

like, you know, it would be fun

43:27

if I made some huge monsters and

43:29

had them go raw smash and wah.

43:33

And that was fun to watch for a long time. A

43:36

long time. How about, I think people ask

43:38

you this, so sorry in advance, but, um,

43:40

how about, have you thought about bringing the

43:42

dinosaurs back? Well,

43:45

you know, I'd watch those Jurassic Park

43:47

movies and it's good at first, like

43:49

the first one. Yeah.

43:51

It's just like, it's, you know, I've, I've been there.

43:54

Yeah. There was a reason I

43:56

sent the meteor. You know, it

43:59

gets boring. for a while. At first

44:01

you're like, this is so cool. Wow.

44:04

It's like I'm in a Godzilla movie.

44:08

And then after a while you're just like, where's

44:12

the dialogue? Where's the story? Where's

44:14

the drama? Where's the gossip? You

44:16

need humans for that, Jesus. You

44:19

need humans. See, we do love

44:21

y'all. Could the dinosaurs ever come

44:23

up with an AITA post?

44:25

I don't think so.

44:28

A T-Rex never

44:30

devoured another dinosaur and

44:32

then asked, am I the

44:34

asshole? I love humans and

44:40

their ethical dilemmas. Yeah. Y'all

44:42

keep it interesting for us. We appreciate y'all. Y'all

44:44

keep it interesting. You drive us nuts, but we

44:47

still appreciate you. Yeah, yeah. All

44:50

right. Let's see. What

44:53

else do we got? Timothy asks, God,

44:55

how did you get the idea of starting

44:57

your Facebook page? I love this question and

45:01

I'll answer it for you. The reason I

45:04

started it was I got tired of D

45:07

bags putting words in my mouth. Amen.

45:11

Like the weird ride has

45:13

been doing for thousands of years. Yep.

45:15

Where they just, they take me

45:18

and Jesus here and they turn

45:20

us into real jerks,

45:22

right Jesus? Oh yeah. Well, we were

45:25

talking about Republican Jesus earlier today. Yeah.

45:28

You know, you got to remember what we

45:30

would do. We would

45:32

allow immigrants in. We

45:34

accept everybody. We love

45:37

everybody. Republican Jesus. Someone

45:40

to take away your Medicare.

45:42

Someone who doesn't care. Wait,

45:44

damn it. That's

45:46

really good. I got to work on that. I

45:49

really like that. That's why I started

45:51

the page is to push back against

45:54

these televangelists and

45:56

these charlatans

45:59

that really, make me seem like

46:02

a jerk. Listen, it's in my

46:04

name. God, you add one other

46:06

O there and it's good. Ah,

46:09

I love that. Is that a coincidence?

46:12

Come on. Also, God

46:14

backwards, dog. And

46:16

all dogs are good. Amen to

46:18

that. Even the ones that bite your face off.

46:20

That was probably because they were treated poorly by

46:22

a human being. Yes. Yes. So

46:26

this is the answer to your question. Thank you for asking.

46:29

I love my Facebook page. I love everybody that

46:32

participates and comments and does

46:34

all that great engagement. Thanks,

46:38

everybody. Yeah. Here's

46:41

a question from Jay. What color does

46:43

a smurf go if you choke it?

46:46

Wow. That's

46:49

messed up. I'm going to say green. I haven't

46:52

tried it, but I'm going to say green. You

46:55

haven't tried it? Yeah. Okay.

46:58

The correct answer. I'm sorry, Jesus.

47:00

The correct answer is purple. Oh,

47:03

okay. That makes sense. But

47:06

please don't do this. This is

47:08

like de-smurfing. Yeah. So

47:11

smurf, smurfs don't deserve

47:13

this. Okay. They're so cute. The

47:15

good thing is they don't, they're not real. So don't

47:17

worry about it. Wow.

47:24

There's so many questions, thousands of

47:26

questions. Steve asked God, how

47:29

did kangaroos get on the Ark? They

47:32

had to bounce a long ways. Yeah.

47:34

I mean, I'm

47:37

not sure why you're asking that question. They

47:39

bounced across Australia and then they had to swim

47:41

to the Middle East. That's why, Jesus.

47:45

You don't think kangaroos are capable? Oh,

47:48

they're capable. I see those legs. Here's

47:51

a good question from Alex. God, what are

47:53

UFOs doing when they visit Earth? Oh,

47:57

they're just sort of, you know, checking it

47:59

out. out, remembering why they don't

48:02

want to meet us. Yep. They

48:04

like spooking us. Uh,

48:06

many of the ones that let themselves

48:08

get seen are teenagers driving

48:11

around their spaceships for the

48:13

first time and they love,

48:15

you know, freaking

48:18

out the humans, right Jesus? Oh

48:20

yeah. They love giving y'all a spook and you

48:22

fall for it every time. You fall

48:24

for it every time. They're under

48:26

strict orders not to, you

48:28

know, introduce themselves to the humans from

48:31

their parents. Right. So

48:34

Russ, easy. There's nothing to worry about.

48:36

The aliens do not want to meet

48:38

you. They just like, uh, messing with

48:40

you. There

48:42

have been a lot more alien sightings recently,

48:44

Jesus. Did you hear about that thing in,

48:47

um, I think it was Miami, Dade County.

48:50

Was that the one on a hill? Where

48:52

there was like a billion cop cars.

48:55

Oh, I don't know if I saw that one. Anyway. All

48:58

right. All right. Well,

49:00

that's enough. Ask God. Thanks for all those questions.

49:02

It was like fun. I mean, I'm sure

49:05

I could do more. Enough

49:09

for now. Very good. But that's enough

49:11

for now. Oh, somebody asked me what

49:13

my weenie length is and I just,

49:15

yeah. And I just wanted to say

49:17

that's personal. Yeah. Did they use the

49:19

word weenie specifically? They

49:22

did. Wow. They did. We

49:25

need to retire the word weenie and

49:28

wiener. Let's not use that to describe.

49:31

To refer to a, a deck, please call it

49:33

a day. Yeah. What

49:35

is that? What is

49:37

the, if you, that, that those are the words

49:39

you prefer. Yeah. Or

49:42

penis weenie wiener. That

49:46

just makes you think of Anthony wiener. Yeah.

49:49

That's, I guess that's part of the problem. I think

49:51

my, you know, what my favorite is Jesus? Schlong

49:54

schlong. Oh, I knew it. You

49:58

knew that? Nope. I mean, I was just taking. a

50:00

guess, but you

50:02

know me so well. Yeah, I

50:04

think you've used it from time to time. Yeah,

50:07

I am a big slum. ESPN

50:12

had accidental nudity during Sugar Bowl.

50:15

Oh. Did you know that? Oh, no, I wasn't watching that.

50:17

I don't know. Maybe I showed up at an

50:19

all-out ball. Yeah, a woman bearing her breast in

50:21

New Orleans isn't usually headline worthy,

50:24

but a woman bearing her breast on national

50:26

television in New Orleans has ESPN more than

50:28

a little red-faced. ESPN

50:30

apologized for the video clip of a woman

50:32

bearing her breast that was shown

50:35

during the broadcast of the Sugar Bowl. We

50:41

regret that this happened and apologized that the

50:43

video aired in the telecast. ESPN's

50:45

Bill Hoffheimer said, It's okay,

50:47

guys. No worries. Yeah.

50:50

Please, every guy watching was thrilled. I don't know.

50:52

It's just funny to me that violence

50:55

is totally okay. Boobs,

50:58

how dare you? Okay,

51:01

so you know how I said all dogs are good

51:03

and they all go to heaven? Uh-oh. There's

51:07

one dog. Pittsburgh family dog eats

51:09

$4,000 in cash. Did

51:14

any of it survive? A Pittsburgh

51:16

couple's dog got himself into some big trouble

51:18

after wolfing down the most expensive dinner of

51:20

his life. The dog's

51:23

name is Cecil. His owner said he's

51:25

a well-behaved dog and he never did anything bad

51:27

until he chatted down on dozens of $50 and

51:29

$100 bills. First of all, who

51:31

has $4,000 just lying around? Yeah,

51:35

and accessible to a dog nonetheless.

51:39

So Clayton Law put an envelope with a wad

51:41

of cash in his kitchen counter in early December.

51:43

He and his wife, Carrie, needed the cash to

51:45

pay for a project at their home in Pittsburgh's

51:47

Point Freeze neighborhood. Clayton said about

51:49

30 minutes later, Cecil,

51:52

a seven-year-old golden doodle, was caught

51:56

red pod. I walked back into

51:58

the room and then all this cash was in the ground. He's

52:00

just like this standing there. I'm just like, oh my gosh,

52:02

he ate some of this money. It was in shock I

52:04

held the carry ate the money. He ate $4,000 Right

52:10

Cecil didn't eat homework he had an appetite

52:12

for $4,000 Wow This

52:15

article is so fun He

52:18

had a lot of the bills and the rest of the bills were

52:20

chewed up into pieces on the floor. Oh I

52:25

Am glad that the owners seem

52:27

to be taking it in stride

52:29

because Yeah,

52:32

people Well

52:34

think people would go nuts if they got

52:36

so much laying around maybe they're rich Yeah,

52:38

they don't matter golden doodle and they got

52:41

enough to be doing you know House

52:44

enhancements. I'm sure

52:46

that They're gonna

52:48

be okay, but yeah, maybe

52:50

the dog didn't maybe he disagreed with their

52:52

project So

52:55

you will not spend this money yeah All

52:59

right, here's a fun story elite boys school

53:01

has a potty problem UK's

53:04

Eaton College to lay semester

53:06

start after famed sewers overflow

53:09

flooding toilets Isn't

53:12

that where all the Royals go? My

53:14

area and yeah Yeah,

53:17

yeah Prince

53:20

William Harry and former Prime Minister's

53:22

border Boris Johnson. Oh, he probably

53:24

clogged the pipes That's what happened.

53:26

Yeah, and David the famous the

53:28

famous River is just overflowing with

53:30

boobie ewe Gross

53:35

I can't believe they have to delay a semester for

53:37

that, you know, like that's that seems

53:39

like an extreme measure a couple days Yeah,

53:42

sometimes, you know, there's just too

53:44

much crap. Yeah, sometimes

53:47

there's just too much crap Jesus Yeah,

53:51

let me take a few more questions from

53:53

the our Patrons

53:57

On our discord Server Chrissy asked.

54:00

Dear God do you think that I

54:02

should stop watching mainstream media news? My

54:04

incessant need to know is absolutely hurting

54:06

my brain. Trying to cast a spell

54:08

on all world events from those trying

54:11

to explain to me forces me to

54:13

position of wanting to fill in the

54:15

blanks. Of. Their stories. Well.

54:18

Cannot fathom how the truth is soon to become

54:20

something we must seek instead of the constant

54:22

those silly as. Well. I'm

54:24

interesting. What? He thinks he's

54:27

this. Man. That is a big

54:29

questions. Now. I

54:32

know. You should be

54:34

responsible. For. Having a now

54:36

and explain everything? It's no. I agree. I

54:38

use. I think a lot of people feel

54:41

this way. And. They

54:43

find themselves constantly watching the news

54:45

and constantly trying to keep up

54:47

with everything. And I used to

54:49

be like that. And I gotta

54:51

say, For. Your mental health And

54:53

your sanity. Limited. As

54:56

much as you can exact right

54:58

a cat's the. Ah no.

55:01

It's. Everybody's different. One

55:03

that's how I saw how you get a

55:05

to like the mainstream media news and the

55:07

local news. You have bleeds it

55:09

leads. Yep and so especially the local news

55:11

with as a murder you're going to know

55:14

about it is a car accident You don't

55:16

know about it. I hate local news. Ah

55:19

also international news is is also

55:21

the be avoided or can sort

55:23

of your happiness the real bless

55:25

his and total ignorance but it's

55:27

still important to stay on top

55:30

of what's going. I just yes

55:32

it limit yourself. It's all about

55:34

the lottery. A word like where'd

55:36

where'd you get your news is

55:38

actually Moses got me into Bbc

55:40

World News. I like Bbc. Read

55:42

this bet. I'll bet I'll mess

55:44

around there. There's no talking heads

55:47

like who are like you know,

55:49

Hard left or hard right. It's very down

55:51

the middle. ah i'm i try

55:53

that i read the new york times

55:55

the washington post's i don't watch twenty

55:57

four hour news anymore other than bbc

55:59

world It's like CNN, MSNBC, can't stand them

56:01

anymore. It's too much of the same crap

56:03

again and again and again. Like

56:05

I get it, Trump sucks. And your

56:08

brain just starts to shut down. Yeah.

56:11

And you know, for senior citizens,

56:14

studies have shown it's actually very detrimental for

56:16

them to be sitting there watching the news

56:18

all the time. Your brain

56:20

atrophies. Because like you said,

56:23

it's the same thing over and over and over again.

56:25

They're not really discussing

56:27

anything new or making any headway.

56:29

They're just filling air. And

56:31

then they cut the commercials every like three

56:33

minutes in

56:35

actuality. And it's just the commercials are the

56:37

worst kind ever. And they're just dead in

56:40

your brain. Yeah. So, you know,

56:43

you're probably going to be up on the

56:45

high points of the news no matter what,

56:47

knowing you. Yeah.

56:49

Try and seek some, some

56:52

peace in this life. Right?

56:54

Yeah. I agree with that. It's

56:56

sort of like how, you know, it can

56:58

be tough to recycle the right way and

57:00

do everything the right way by the

57:03

end, by what, you know, we hear the environment

57:05

needs, but sometimes it's just too much for one

57:07

person. It's like, you can't

57:09

recycle perfectly. You can't dispose of things

57:12

perfectly all the time. So why get worked

57:15

up over it? Like try to do a

57:17

little bit, but don't overdo it. Cause then

57:19

it just drives you nuts. Like, Oh, I

57:21

need to take every label off every box.

57:24

And like, is it going to change? You

57:26

know, what's it going to change? So I

57:28

would definitely prioritize your, um, your

57:31

mental health, your mental mental health. Yeah.

57:34

All right. Fantastic questions, right? Jesus, they

57:36

work great. Our listeners are smart and

57:38

curious folk. Curious

57:42

humans, curious George.

57:45

Well, Jesus, I think we, uh, we

57:49

hit our time. It all. Yeah. We did it all

57:51

today. Uh,

57:53

I look way better. I looked way smooth and

57:55

video for you. I've

57:57

been admiring your video this whole time. You're, you're

57:59

sharp. Sharpie? How. Of

58:02

before I looked like total crap, right? You

58:04

work or kind of get to read in

58:06

the fit, the open now years and then

58:08

move as a river. Ah,

58:11

smooth as a river. You want

58:13

to see me? Damnedest yeah looking

58:15

at fc this look at you

58:17

go. You. Want to seem it

58:19

as yes? Dance a merchant. And

58:22

substance earth's surface and of of

58:24

wow I'm damned that the dancing

58:26

looks way better to right? Yeah,

58:28

young, so lifelike with all these

58:30

animations. I almost look life

58:32

like I'm sorry, was the l lucky or

58:35

even move in? the desk. Success.

58:37

it's that's my boner. A

58:40

were right. Anyway,

58:44

ah okay is less skill on

58:47

the blessings and smiles I want

58:49

to bless of course will not

58:51

Zack's for his song. Or

58:54

J Christ everybody give it a spin. Hope

58:56

you enjoy it And when I collapsed on

58:58

it. I. Think you'll like it? Or

59:00

I don't I don't appear in the song

59:03

and is collaborated on the lyrics with Was

59:05

Little Nice with Mister Nice I once You

59:07

bless. Taylor Swift

59:09

as a billionaire. So.

59:11

Far how I once you say I

59:14

want to proclaim her as the only

59:16

good billionaire I know You ask that

59:18

question on Facebook other day. Why is

59:20

there a good billionaire I'm going to

59:22

say right now things could change. But.

59:24

Ha is a good billionaire. And

59:27

I want to smite this

59:30

dog eating all the cash.

59:32

Ah sorry. Mister. Puppy But

59:34

what were you thinking? I need to know.

59:40

Yeah. Thanks.

59:42

Is this those are excellent. Blessings.

59:45

Minds. Ah I would

59:47

like to bless you as always.

59:49

I. Would like to bless our listeners. I.

59:52

Would. Like to have.

59:56

All. I. Want to

59:58

smite that? Sam? A

1:00:00

I. I am sale of

1:00:02

Ai Ai. This was the last straw.

1:00:04

Okay, Like you

1:00:06

know playing around as you to write

1:00:09

something or. Is

1:00:11

one thing is probably the least.

1:00:15

Worst thing of you. But

1:00:18

the. The. Images and

1:00:20

the video. This. A

1:00:22

I read brings this is the

1:00:24

worst. Bring someone back from the

1:00:26

dead against their will. Yes,

1:00:29

George Carlin with Hate This. As

1:00:32

my family read, call the rest in

1:00:34

peace not dig me up and put

1:00:36

words. My mouth is sock breaks. Whatever.

1:00:40

Happened arresting in peace. And

1:00:43

love your passion! Well.

1:00:46

Know. If I wasn't able realize how

1:00:48

fucked up this is. It

1:00:50

is. Is

1:00:53

I don't know why people like it. I don't

1:00:55

get why people I don't either. General know what

1:00:57

game went so far. Jesus. I. Got

1:00:59

excited to see said zoos gonna come what

1:01:01

she wants to come on the podcast dog about

1:01:03

it I posted about an address is gonna

1:01:05

come talk about this guy. Some.

1:01:07

Guy came it because I'm passionately

1:01:09

on her side. Gay.

1:01:12

And I want people to know the truth. Gay.

1:01:16

And. This. Guy the common sort

1:01:18

of argue with me about it. And.

1:01:20

He goes on. So us go so

1:01:22

far as to suggest that I'm just

1:01:24

as. Know. Is I just

1:01:26

as bad? But. That I'm exploiting.

1:01:30

The. Situation by having are on the podcast

1:01:32

blah blah blah. Why? it's like that

1:01:34

He was so passionately in the corner

1:01:37

of a I that of I allow

1:01:39

the family. Give. Them a platform.

1:01:41

Another platform to speak out against. This.

1:01:43

Then. I'm the one that's bad. Jesus did

1:01:46

you know. Oh. My. God.

1:01:48

You believe that? Shots as to give

1:01:50

her a platform? Give me a break.

1:01:53

So. that person or themselves a

1:01:55

block from our good strangely stupid

1:01:57

yeah no stupid i got I

1:02:00

guess by that logic, I can't talk to anybody.

1:02:05

No nuance anymore. There's no complexity

1:02:08

to any of this. It's just life

1:02:11

has become an internet comment comment

1:02:13

section. Dammit humans. It's

1:02:15

quite damn it. Anyway,

1:02:18

there's a lot of really cool people out

1:02:20

there too. So bless them. Uh,

1:02:23

so many other things to smite, but

1:02:26

let's just leave it at that for now.

1:02:28

I had a fun time talking to you

1:02:30

today, Jesus. Yeah. So did I always good

1:02:32

talking with my dad, even when he teases

1:02:34

me. Ah,

1:02:37

and you're, you're my real friend,

1:02:39

right buddy? Yes. Yes. We are

1:02:41

real friends and I thought, Oh,

1:02:43

I should smite myself for not

1:02:45

checking in on my hospitalized father.

1:02:48

Next time you saw the update that said I

1:02:50

was fine. You're like, ah, he's good. Yeah. He

1:02:52

said it was a fart attack. I mean, come

1:02:54

on. You guys, I did. You

1:02:57

know, when I thought about the people in

1:02:59

my existence who give

1:03:01

as much as I give back you

1:03:03

or the top of my list, do

1:03:06

not trouble your mind. Yeah. No, you're,

1:03:08

you're one of the good ones. Jesus

1:03:10

really, uh, of all the

1:03:12

souls I've encountered. Love you, buddy. I

1:03:14

really got lucky when I met you.

1:03:18

Oh, um, in Mary's

1:03:20

womb. Yeah. So, uh, oh,

1:03:23

oh, oh, we didn't even talk about this Jesus.

1:03:25

Did you see that the Pope came out against

1:03:27

surrogate motherhood? Oh, I did. Maybe

1:03:29

we should talk about that next time, but Jesus,

1:03:32

I got one quick part. You kind of,

1:03:34

uh, surrogate. Yeah.

1:03:37

Yes. Yes, I am. Wasn't it.

1:03:40

But did

1:03:42

he forget that is, is what's up

1:03:45

with this guy? One minute.

1:03:47

He's like, so good. Yeah, he was

1:03:49

one minute. He's like, yeah, priests can

1:03:51

bless gay couples in the next. No

1:03:54

more surrogacy. What? Yeah.

1:03:57

I mean, maybe it's a nuance. issue

1:04:00

also, but I don't

1:04:02

know. Pope, give that one another

1:04:04

thought. Yeah. Damn

1:04:07

it, Pope. You

1:04:09

gotta check with us before you send stuff like this

1:04:11

out. Yeah, we gotta get prepared for the backlash. I

1:04:16

mean, that caught us off guard. Come on.

1:04:18

No. Do better. Send

1:04:20

us a memo. Pick up the Pope phone and call me. What

1:04:24

color is the Pope phone? Is it red? Like

1:04:26

the backbone? It's red, of course. Cool. All

1:04:29

right. Well, thanks for listening,

1:04:31

humans. Find the God Pod wherever

1:04:33

you get your podcasts. The

1:04:36

God Pod. Have it Yahweh.

1:04:40

The Lord has spoken.