0:00

This week on the God Pod. New

0:02

poll came out Jesus, nearly 70% of

0:05

Americans think United States is in

0:07

rapid decline. Revealing a prevailing sense

0:09

of pessimism among Americans regarding the

0:11

future of the United States, as

0:14

Elmo found out last week. Ooooooh.

0:18

Jesus tell me, what do you see? Whoa,

0:21

I'm seeing wine. Sellers

0:24

and sellers of wine. And

0:28

me, up on the cross. Oh

0:30

God, this is horrible. No, no,

0:32

no. Jesus run it on me. You

0:37

turned one way and there was a thief and

0:39

you turned the other way and it was like,

0:41

Eee dee, in so

0:43

much pain.

0:46

And I was like, one day I'm gonna introduce

0:48

you to a guy named Spielberg and

0:50

you two are gonna make it big. Welcome

1:05

to the God Pod. I'm the Lord

1:07

thy God and I'm here with my

1:09

son and friend, Jesus Christ.

1:12

Hi father. Hi. How

1:14

are you? I'm good. Thanks for gesturing

1:17

in my direction. Yeah. It makes me

1:19

feel loved and acknowledged. Yeah, you should

1:21

gesture more often too. Well, I

1:24

mean, I'm kind of limited here. I can't

1:26

gesture at you. I can

1:28

give a finger. If you want Jesus to

1:30

have more gestures, you got to watch more

1:32

of our videos because then that's money and

1:34

I can take that money and pay the

1:36

puppeteer and then, yeah, but yeah, me and

1:38

you Jesus, people don't understand we're live animated.

1:41

We are live animated. This is something that people have

1:43

never seen before. Yeah. And

1:45

they've been waiting for us to come back, come back,

1:47

come back, come back. Well, here we are. Here we

1:50

are. In the animated flesh. Yeah. We're

1:52

doing our only gods. Our only gods. You

1:54

want some feet? Support us and we'll give

1:57

you some feet. We're going to have to get, I actually

1:59

have a hot tub and. I can

2:01

rip this robe off and show my

2:03

ripped muscles like I'm groundskeeper

2:05

Willy Yeah on on

2:07

the Simpsons, but but I

2:09

can't do that right now because we're like Yeah,

2:12

no no no no on Facebook. No

2:14

y'all get sucked. They'll be like don't

2:16

you dare you'll get sucked Is

2:19

that what you said? Yeah, they'll be like how

2:21

are you how are you

2:23

showing skin even in cartoon form?

2:25

Hey, by the way, did you see Facebook

2:27

turned 20 this week? I can't believe it

2:30

20 years old 20 years of dystopia Hey,

2:35

don't say that on his platform. Oh,

2:37

yeah 20 years of success and joy

2:41

Please don't hurt us modern-day emperors

2:44

Okay Reminder drop a like

2:46

so anyway, let's get on to the news Jesus.

2:48

Did you let me I don't even have to

2:50

ask Did

2:53

you watch? The Grammys

2:55

last night. Yes, I did first of

2:57

all. It was a great Grammys I

2:59

thought a lot of great performances

3:01

Trevor Noah was an excellent host It felt

3:03

like a breath of fresh air compared to

3:06

that Golden Globes host whose name I already

3:08

forget Joe koi Taylor Swift

3:10

won her 13th Grammy And

3:15

and that's not all she

3:17

used the opportunity to announce

3:19

I knew I

3:23

Know Jesus forget what I was doing at the time. I

3:25

think it was taking a nap. I didn't

3:27

realize the Grammys were on and Are

3:31

you able to watch I've actually recently cut

3:33

the cord the cable Jesus and I'm only

3:35

watching things on the streaming Have you done

3:37

that? Uh, yeah. Well ice

3:40

I stream cable via YouTube TV. I am

3:42

a YouTube TV subscriber Yeah, I would recommend

3:44

it. I like it a lot. It's not

3:46

cheap, unfortunately But yeah, and then you don't

3:48

have to pay this to be cable company.

3:51

Okay, right anyway I missed it but I

3:53

caught the highlights and I

3:55

did I did realize that it was

3:57

happening when I heard your the Jesus

3:59

squeal from 10,000 miles away.

4:03

I went, yes! Squeeze!

4:07

Yeah, so new album, the Tortured

4:09

Poets Department comes out April 19th.

4:14

Wow, Tortured Poets

4:16

Department. Yeah. Is

4:19

she watching that movie Dead

4:21

Poets Society? You would think so. Mm-hmm.

4:25

Yep. You know what? So she's a

4:27

tortured poet. Yes. I

4:30

assume it's going to be an album

4:33

similar to Evermore and Folklore,

4:35

which were both kind of

4:38

like more acoustic-y, woodsy, earthy

4:41

material, just going off of the name of

4:43

the album. Woodsy, kind of oaky, kind of

4:46

thing. Yeah, some birch in there.

4:49

It's going to be woodsy and tortured poets.

4:51

Okay. Cool. Cool,

4:53

cool. So are you excited?

4:56

I am so excited. I am so excited. Actually, can I

4:58

be honest with you for a second? Even

5:00

I, a big Swissie, I'm like, really? Another

5:02

album? She's pumping out so much music.

5:05

It's like, it's almost a little much for

5:07

me. Jesus is going to be

5:09

honest. It's almost like there's a big

5:11

machine behind her. She

5:14

doesn't write her own songs, does she? She does.

5:18

She does. I guess that's kind of like one

5:20

of the things that makes her really popular. Yes.

5:23

And she keeps the fans fed. Are you sure that

5:25

she writes it? Or is it like all NDA and

5:28

she's getting help with other people? She

5:30

might, well, of course she has producers she

5:32

works with and people co-write, but yeah, she

5:34

writes all of her stuff as her own. Right.

5:38

Wow, cool. But then also with

5:40

making the music, she gets help with that

5:42

from the best creators of Fat Beats in

5:44

the land. Right. Jack Antonoff is a

5:46

close partner of hers. Wait, what did you just say?

5:48

I don't know if you can say that on Facebook.

5:51

Jack Antonoff, that's a real name. You

5:53

want a Jack Anthony off? I

5:56

did not say that, though. You want

5:58

a Jack Anthony off. Yeah, sure. Whatever

6:00

you say, Dad. Whatever you

6:03

say. So yeah, that's

6:05

what's happening, but the Grammys were

6:08

really good overall, so I definitely recommend

6:10

you go back and check them out.

6:12

Oprah was there, Meryl Streep was there.

6:15

Oh yeah. That totally sounds like

6:17

something I'm going to do with my free time. Jesus,

6:21

I already caught all the highlights. Oh,

6:24

alright. Why would I watch an awards show

6:26

in the past? That's such a Jesus thing

6:28

to do. Because it was really good.

6:30

That's all. Miley Cyrus did

6:32

fantastic. Miley Cyrus won her first

6:35

Grammy. I saw that. I'm so

6:37

happy for all the millionaires and

6:39

billionaires. Selenium, presented.

6:42

Tracy Chapman, that was definitely a

6:44

highlight. Jesus, I saw that she

6:46

dropped, she changed her profile picture

6:49

and got a million likes

6:51

in 10 seconds. Yeah,

6:53

people thought it was going to be

6:55

Reputation, Taylor's version, that album re-release, but

6:58

it was not. It was just an entirely new

7:01

album, so that was definitely a shock. You know

7:03

what's funny about that, Jesus? I'm not hating, not

7:05

jealous, not jealous at all. You're

7:07

jealous. But the rest of us,

7:09

maybe a little bit jealous, the rest of

7:11

us post anything promotional about anything and

7:14

it's like 10 likes total.

7:16

Oh, I know. I know. I

7:19

try to promote my stuff from time to time. Nobody

7:21

likes it. I'm like, okay.

7:24

You only like when I post

7:26

the stupid stuff. They're like, yeah,

7:28

yeah, Jesus, we get it. Nobody

7:31

gives a crap about you anymore. Are

7:33

you hot and blonde? Whatever.

7:37

Are you a Ken or are you more

7:39

of Ken's friend? Me

7:41

personally? What's his Ken's friend again? What's

7:43

his name? Played

7:46

by Michael Cera? Yeah, the nerdy guy. Alan.

7:50

Alan. Alan. Are

7:53

you more of an Alan? Yeah, sure. I'm an

7:55

Alan. I'm Ken. I'm

7:57

just God. And you have made

8:00

Maybe I am flawed. Alright,

8:03

so the tortured poets department, Jesus,

8:06

I think you would identify

8:08

with that more than anyone, you, because you

8:10

were tortured. The tortured part, yeah, well, yeah,

8:12

I know you're going for a little dig

8:14

there, so, uh, fourth you.

8:17

But. I just thought about that. Others would say

8:19

I'm a poet. I

8:21

had many wise lines over the years, yes.

8:23

You're a poet and you didn't know it.

8:25

How could I not be considered a poet

8:27

with beautiful lines like, and know that I

8:29

am with you always, yes, to the end

8:31

of time. Or

8:34

do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in

8:36

God. Trust in him. Your heart will

8:38

go on. On and on and on.

8:41

And so does this mean that she's

8:43

going to be crucified? Because. Whoa.

8:46

I mean, if you look at

8:48

the hate, hate, hate, hate, hate is going to

8:51

hate, hate, hate, hate, hate. Yeah,

8:54

I mean, man, they really hate her,

8:56

Jesus. Well, yeah.

8:59

Donald Trump declared

9:02

a holy war on her. Well,

9:06

the raid is terrified that she's going to

9:08

give Biden an endorsement and it'll be very

9:10

interesting to see if that ends

9:13

up happening. Donald Trump declared holy

9:15

war on Taylor Swift because he

9:17

realizes she's way more popular than

9:20

him. Like she

9:22

has the power. She could do, she

9:24

could save this world with the power

9:26

she wields. Absolutely.

9:29

Her fans hold on to every word

9:32

and they follow her every move and

9:35

do what she says. I mean. Really?

9:38

Do you think that they, if she was like, vote this way, they would do

9:40

that? I really

9:42

think her

9:44

telling people to go out and vote would move the

9:47

needle 100% and move it

9:49

noticeably. So yeah. Where is this needle,

9:51

by the way? Which

9:53

needle? The needle, where everyone's always trying

9:56

to move. It's normally on the New

9:58

York Times website when they're uh... making

10:00

their predictions. Hey Jesus, quick thing I wanted

10:03

to say is that I noticed when cutting

10:05

up, because I'm editing our podcast now and

10:07

putting them out as videos, during

10:10

the week sometimes, is that I talk

10:13

way too much. You

10:15

talk a lot. So

10:18

you want me to talk a lot? Okay. Well,

10:20

I'm just realizing that I am a... You

10:23

know what it is? I think I'm scared of dead air. Oh.

10:25

Well, that can always be fixed up in editing.

10:27

I always tighten things up

10:30

when there's like a dead spot. So you don't need

10:32

to worry about it. And I'm also

10:34

scared that you don't have anything to say. Oh,

10:36

well sometimes I don't, but a lot of times I do.

10:39

So... So,

10:43

well, we didn't really touch

10:45

on the story yet that you have linked,

10:47

right? The GOP? Oh yeah, and so then

10:49

on top of that, some GOP chairwoman says,

10:51

Satan now using Taylor Swift to re-elect Biden.

10:55

This is all just part of their

10:57

usual insanity from the right wing, from

11:00

the religious right. I think

11:02

this week again, Mike Johnson

11:04

said that he was

11:07

appointed by me to be the next

11:09

Moses, which of course I never did.

11:12

No. No.

11:15

Well, yeah. And I mean, so

11:17

they're painting her out to be this evil

11:19

person. They're going in on Taylor recently, because

11:22

I think, like I said, they're fearing

11:24

that she is going to endorse Biden.

11:27

So they want to

11:30

tear her down now, just like they've torn

11:32

down... It's because, yeah, anytime there's someone that's

11:34

more powerful, like at one time, Chump

11:37

was like, anything he said, the whole world

11:39

was floating on it. Yeah. Right.

11:42

Before he was present. And then of

11:44

course after. But now, no one

11:47

gives a crap what he says, because

11:49

they're tired of hearing about it.

11:51

They're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

11:53

yeah. Eventually, nobody

11:55

gives a crap. It's like in Ted. Do

11:58

you get that, Evan? Eventually. the nobody

12:00

gives a crap. I finished the Ted

12:02

Tv my girl was an episode. Six

12:04

does the best thing ever when the

12:06

truck comes to life. I'll actually

12:08

I didn't like the truck I didn't

12:10

like was it on Now while despite

12:12

my my edibles for me a bites

12:15

head thinking he was jesus which is

12:17

limited I was the same episodes I

12:19

was yes exactly on. That part was

12:21

great get some fun viral stories. Cute

12:23

up Jesus I got a ton of

12:26

legs. As God questions

12:28

We got questions from the audience. Ah

12:31

drop a like support the channel. I'm

12:33

so let just run through what we

12:35

are here for. Elmo Elmo asked the

12:37

internet however that he was doing this

12:39

week and got trauma dumped on. Charles

12:44

is are diagnosed with cancer but

12:46

they won't say what kind. Yeah

12:48

really a funny story of know it's now

12:51

what's wrong with you? Well I just felt

12:53

like you know everybody's always like god Save

12:55

the King. right? So.

12:58

And damn well and guy you

13:00

a belt, God save Aloe. Plant.

13:03

Save elbow. On. An old

13:05

and also this was really good. The.

13:08

Apple Vision Pro. Have you seen

13:10

people wearing this and I have.

13:12

I have See in the world

13:14

has changed overnight in another version

13:17

of Black Mirror dystopia. Yeah on

13:19

be leave a ball so hang

13:21

around to see that. Because.

13:24

It's. Insane. Or

13:27

of we can pull up any pictures on

13:29

screen. That. We got a couple of, but. Let's.

13:32

Start with the Elmo asking everybody

13:34

other doing jesus that I can

13:36

do my my wonderful. Yeah.

13:39

Ordinary person A while he

13:42

read his tweet that got

13:44

everybody talking. So on January

13:46

twenty ninth, Two Thousand Twenty

13:48

four. At three forty

13:51

six Pm, Poor Elmo.

13:53

Didn't know. What? Was gonna

13:56

happen Innocently went on. Twitter.

13:58

For some reason for some Elmo and

14:00

everybody else is still on twitter. E

14:03

O citing. You. Know

14:05

what? are? you know? it's l

14:08

moses like that guy. ssssss this

14:10

will be a better place. Maybe

14:12

elbow doesn't know. The. How

14:15

we're How evil Ill on his

14:17

anyway. I'm still hasn't heard about

14:19

his white supremacy. Elmo

14:22

jumped online. And innocently

14:25

as. Is to. Do

14:29

It. And

14:31

you know. Good.

14:34

Little classic posts from the

14:36

social media manager Cavaliers Sanders

14:38

Three or I had my

14:40

race. And. Twitter.

14:44

Pounced salsas. It's funny because old

14:46

sweaters basically they're just will not

14:48

die. Yes, yes, the data as

14:50

they just they know. people say

14:52

twitters bad and then stuff like

14:54

this happens everywhere. One time we're

14:56

all our goal. Your Twitter right?

14:58

I realized because thousand like them

15:00

things nerd bought the high school

15:02

were like whatever. So some of

15:04

the responses vr the web says

15:06

it's been a tough time since

15:08

we left the street. And

15:10

entered the workforce elbow. And.

15:15

Then a contrarian said. Every

15:18

morning I cannot wait to go back

15:20

to sleep. says. Monday.

15:22

I cannot wait for Friday to

15:25

come Visit every single desks and

15:27

every single week. For.

15:30

Like. An

15:32

Elmo is like. A

15:39

bar, Marceau.

15:41

Mar Rosales his Elmo. We're tired

15:43

of it was it was so

15:46

funny because email here's this innocent

15:48

three year old sag. How's everybody

15:50

doing it as well? I Elmo

15:53

is not three years old. He's

15:55

three in Canon. And. it's just

15:57

so adorable to see a so funny to see

16:00

people unload on adorable Elmo.

16:02

I noticed some tweets myself that I was really

16:04

a big fan of. Summer said, hi Elmo, wire

16:06

me $100,000 right now or

16:09

Dorothy gets it. And there's a photo of

16:11

Dorothy, his pet fish. Oh my

16:13

gosh. Goldfish, the cross hairs of a gun. I'm

16:16

gonna go tell Big Bird. Angie

16:19

Thomas said, y'all have traumatized Elmo. That baby

16:21

is three. He doesn't need to know all

16:23

this. Elmo doesn't

16:26

understand. Why

16:28

is everybody so sad? At

16:31

that Elmo, well, let me read some of the

16:33

tweets from this article now. Can

16:37

you get a change your face to sad Jesus? Okay,

16:40

let's have a dead pan. Yeah. And

16:43

I'll be hopeful with blushing Elmo. This

16:47

one's a serious one. It's a struggle

16:49

TBH. My brother's battling a drug addiction

16:51

I can barely afford to live. And

16:53

it seems civilization is determined to destroy

16:55

itself. Holy shit, Elmo

16:58

thought things were bad down in

17:00

the barrio on Sesame Street. You

17:04

sound like Oscar the Crouch.

17:09

Oscar the Crouch is hooked on fentanyl. Mercy

17:12

the, Mercy the Oscar. Is

17:16

that bad? Am I going too hard in the painting?

17:18

Nah, nah. Okay, I'll just check it in. Mercy

17:21

said it is a nightmare

17:23

Elmo, an absolutely dreadful, unwaking

17:25

nightmare. Ah,

17:28

Elmo doesn't want to know anymore. Yeah,

17:31

it was rough. It was rough.

17:33

Yeah, Elmo, I'm at my lowest.

17:36

Elmo, existential dread, et cetera,

17:38

et cetera. Chance

17:40

the Rapper actually said, honestly, I'm in a really

17:42

good place right now. All right, good for you,

17:44

Chance. I mean, of course he is. He's

17:48

a millionaire. He's

17:50

a millionaire and a billionaire. The millionaires and the

17:53

billionaires are doing great. They're doing great, Jesus. 7-Eleven,

17:56

truth or sad, wife left me.

17:58

Daughters Don't respect me. My

18:00

job as a joke anymore Questions

18:02

Elmo Jesus man A Specific and

18:05

our poor Elmo A I hope

18:07

that elbow gets. All.

18:09

The love and care that

18:11

out that deserves. yeah you

18:13

do Little body under the

18:15

undies. The Onion followed up

18:17

with a clip. Saying.

18:19

That. For. Those stories saying that

18:22

almost hair is now falling out in

18:24

clumps. Ah,

18:27

Will. Be right back after these

18:29

messages. Or. I

18:31

let's move on. Okay so let's talk

18:33

about this news. God save the King

18:35

King Charles the Third diagnosed with cancer

18:37

buckingham Palace as they don't say what

18:39

kind of cancer, what it won't But

18:41

oh I thought you said something other

18:43

than Buckingham. Sounded like

18:45

a curse word. Go Out Now

18:48

No. Fucking. I'm palace so

18:50

he's going to begin regular

18:52

treatments. He began this today

18:54

and he's postponing public duties

18:56

during the treatment. He.

18:58

Seventy Five Year Old. Seventy Five

19:00

Years Old. He remains holy

19:03

positive about his treatment and look forward to returning

19:05

to full public duty as soon as possible, but

19:07

they won't say what kind it is. Yeah,

19:10

that's surprising, I guess right? Why?

19:12

Because if it's prostate cancer, which

19:14

probably is, This. Unbecoming.

19:18

Yeah. Right? Not sit for a

19:20

king. They don't want to talk about

19:22

the king's prostate. He they did recently

19:24

discover. Ah, Able enlarged

19:26

prostate which he had been treated

19:28

for and then while dealing with

19:31

that they noticed. The. Cancer

19:33

obvious is obvious. One of his. Arm.

19:35

Everyone saying God Save The King. Just.

19:38

For the record, I am

19:40

not a bronco adjust or

19:42

a, you know, Daughter.

19:45

A surgeon so. Stubborn

19:48

that on this yes at and I

19:50

think if they were to share what

19:52

cancer was, people would be speculating even

19:54

further. about his prognosis though

19:57

that said people are just guessing

19:59

now which doesn't seem particularly like

20:03

a very good move. I think there's a new season

20:05

of The Crown coming. Oh boy.

20:08

I still got three episodes left. Oh,

20:11

okay. Yeah. And the final episodes were fine.

20:14

They were fine. They

20:16

weren't great, right? So

20:19

this Apple Vision Pro is

20:22

the most craziest thing ever.

20:24

Jesus. People are

20:26

wearing goggles. Outside

20:31

all the time. And when I

20:33

say people, it's mostly teenage boys

20:35

and Elon Musk fans.

20:37

Right. Or just tech

20:39

guys. But everything,

20:42

literally, literally everything that I've

20:45

seen is terrifying or dystopian.

20:49

I saw a kid get out of his

20:51

cyber truck and immediately

20:53

start gesturing, you know,

20:56

as he walks because daddy

20:58

bought him a cyber truck and

21:01

the Apple Vision Pro goggles. He's

21:03

showing off at what a tech kid

21:05

he is. Did you see that one?

21:09

I saw somebody in a cyber truck. I'm not

21:11

sure I saw that one in particular. And then

21:13

I had another video, maybe the same

21:15

kid driving with the

21:17

cyber truck while doing you

21:20

should not be allowed to wear these things

21:23

while you're driving. Well, you're not. I

21:25

mean, but they're doing it. They're

21:28

doing it for the views, right? Of course they're doing it

21:30

for the views. I

21:33

will say now people don't

21:35

realize this because they are just doing

21:37

it for the views and it confuses

21:39

people. You can't really use this thing

21:41

while in motion. You put things in

21:43

your space and you look around and

21:45

it remembers where they are in space

21:47

and time. You can't really

21:49

do anything with it while you're moving. So

21:51

people are just doing this for the clicks.

21:55

I don't know about that. I saw another guy. Yeah,

21:58

He was holding his new. Door

22:00

an infant child. On. His

22:02

lap. And he was

22:04

like. This. Is so awesome! Because.

22:07

Now are, instead of just being

22:09

trapped here. Now. I can

22:11

was avatar to Way of Water and he

22:13

was like leaning back with his head on

22:15

the pillows and baby was li bay and

22:17

he was watching after he could. It is

22:19

what's on t with you know. Ear.

22:22

Buds or whatever. right? But it

22:24

was this and I saw a comedian or

22:27

follow saying you know, This.

22:29

Is they've literally invented away.

22:32

For. Dude to click through their let you

22:34

know that that Adam Sandler movie. Click! Yes,

22:37

where you can dislike. Fast forward through the

22:39

boring parts of your life. Yeah. That's.

22:42

A disguise try to do because

22:44

he considers holding his newborn daughter

22:46

on his lap while sleeps. In.

22:49

To be boring. He considers. Avatar.

22:52

To. The. Way

22:54

of Water. Avatar

22:57

to The Way of Water to

22:59

be more interesting. Ah

23:01

that sucks that like shooting each

23:03

other. That's more interesting than it

23:06

is. Beautiful newborn. He's he's he's

23:08

a new father. Maybe he'll he'll

23:10

realize some day have pressed his

23:12

moments. Or yeah right. it's sad.

23:15

It's kind of sad. It's just.

23:17

More. Dystopia. It is sad you're

23:19

covering up your face, you spending more

23:22

time with the screen that's like and

23:24

ends in front of you face. I

23:26

will say I think Virtual Reality has

23:28

a promising future. I think this is

23:30

just Apple's first device. Ten years from

23:32

now we'll be looking in southern very

23:35

different, what I want. Are.

23:37

Basically sunglasses or eyeglasses that display

23:39

some information right in front of

23:41

me. You. Can't even tell that I'm

23:44

wearing smart glasses. She's is, why don't you

23:46

use magic? Well, I could, but I'm also

23:48

a nerd so I want to see the

23:50

humans come up with something like this. Case.

23:54

That. Way late Nina, You're like walking down

23:56

the street and you see somebody. And.

23:58

It gives you the name of that person. That way

24:00

you don't have to try and remember

24:02

that person's name if you have matter

24:04

what people you want people knowing oh

24:07

it's jesus. Well that's

24:09

good. Yeah, don't it. This is all the

24:11

more we'll let is plenty of reasons to

24:13

avoid Earth and this yet another one specific

24:15

to get out. What do going to do

24:17

You have a probiotic rots against Know this

24:19

exists of the way More interesting nugget. It's

24:21

Nathan Fielder involved. I do want to go

24:23

to an Apple Store and try this thing

24:25

I have they they're doing damage. Narrow your

24:27

bro. Jesus, yeah I know. And now at

24:30

and like it's the price for me. Like

24:32

if this was like a half the cost

24:34

I might actually think about being an Apple.

24:36

Dorsey. Thrive. Five hundred dollars? Yeah, it's insane.

24:38

It's. The League and let everybody know that you're

24:41

a weirdo. But.

24:43

They will be cheaper versions of assuring time.

24:45

This is the vision pro the have like

24:47

a visionary something. People

24:50

said technically very impressive. But I

24:52

get I get what you're saying.

24:54

it is Dystopian. People are idiots.

24:56

Yeah, Is horrifying on

24:58

a level I can't explain. But.

25:01

I'll try as a in. Humans.

25:05

Used. To be humans. Go.

25:08

Back to doing that. The

25:10

day. You. Know

25:12

like tough some grass. Pretty.

25:15

On apple vision bro goggles

25:17

is. The. Complete opposite

25:19

of touching grass. That

25:22

it slides. says.

25:25

Just because you can do something you know

25:27

what it means is because you can do

25:29

something. Seizes Ah doesn't mean that you should

25:32

In a rights rights and that's what all

25:34

these tech prose the have lost the like.

25:36

We can do it. That means that means

25:38

we have to. We have to do it.

25:40

Going to do it Now. See

25:43

how? Are we don't get it

25:46

Man they gotta answer to the gotta please

25:48

the shareholders. The shareholders are like what's next?

25:50

What's next You know? Now.

25:53

I as a good product category. as another person

25:55

say, it's kind of funny that Mark Zuckerberg have

25:57

been working of what is that the different a

25:59

portable size. In: pull it up or I was trying to

26:01

put the glasses on me. Or

26:04

am it and I give you a

26:06

Zagat businesses. But. Yeah, Margaret,

26:08

he's been trying to find the

26:10

legs the matter version of this

26:12

forever and no one cares. Yeah,

26:15

book comes out and instantly it's

26:17

huge. I have a aki

26:19

is classed and they are fun For games

26:21

it's it's very fun gaming device and way

26:23

number now for the sole this will help

26:25

out. Yeah. Well

26:27

more getting everybody oh their

26:30

eyes completely blind is at

26:32

all times by. Because

26:34

you know, watching streaming services and.

26:37

Play. Video games. Being on your phone wasn't

26:39

enough. Now you have to have your head

26:41

in taste. Yeah,

26:43

in tax. It. Breaks

26:46

you off from communicating. It's sad I

26:48

don't share your enthusiasm for split it

26:50

that way. Or

26:53

Wells's Knives now stepped into some sort

26:55

of assets set to be put into.

26:58

The other get a size dilute the

27:00

like that before. Moving

27:03

or. Ah yeah.

27:05

Like sweet Jesus, tell me

27:07

what do you see? Love?

27:09

I'm seeing. Wine.

27:12

Cellars, And sellers of

27:14

wine and. Me:

27:17

Up on the Cross. Oh

27:19

God. This is Horrible. Number. Is

27:22

made. Wow! Did turn off

27:25

season out. on and off

27:27

is not right. It's ah

27:29

city That Jesus You word

27:31

for two seconds and you

27:33

immediately had Ptsd specific ssssss.

27:36

Wow. that thing. As dangerous

27:38

and donors are right, it was heavy.

27:41

New. Poll came out Jesus: nearly

27:43

seventy percent of Americans think United

27:46

States is and rapid decline. He

27:48

was conducted by the Pew Research

27:50

Center, Gallup, and Axis, revealing a

27:52

prevailing sense of pessimism among Americans

27:54

regarding the future of the night

27:57

states. As Elmo found out last.

28:01

After the Pew Research the Pew

28:03

Research Center is April twenty Twenty

28:05

Three survey found that sixty eight

28:07

percent of Americans expressed at least

28:09

some pessimism about the country's future.

28:11

They must be listening to the

28:13

God, but citing concerns about the

28:15

economy, political divisions, and societal problems.

28:17

The I mean how could you

28:19

not be concerned? He. Got

28:21

like a quarter of the country. That's totally

28:23

insane. Yep and then you

28:25

know, what about of people that don't know what

28:28

the heck is going on? Yeah.

28:31

And then the people that do know is going on

28:33

can agree on what to do. You

28:35

know yet? how do you feel

28:37

out there? Humans america know in

28:39

the comments. Now. Why

28:42

me? next? economy's been really

28:44

good. Let's remember at the

28:46

at the at the stock

28:48

market level right? Well.

28:52

Not necessarily. There is a great

28:54

jobs report last week. More.

28:56

Hiring than expected. So.

28:58

That was a very pleasant surprise.

29:00

And the and they're supposed to

29:02

lower interest rates. Finally, inflation's been

29:04

tamed. Yeah. So maybe people

29:06

haven't felt the difference yet, but

29:09

they will soon. Dobro.

29:12

Yeah, I think gas prices have been

29:14

lower or it'll trickle down soon. Skeeters

29:16

wait for it says keep when suedes

29:18

were. Just

29:21

to longer. Or. Yeah, on the

29:23

point of inflation? Like a yep. These.

29:25

Businesses of push prices up, which is

29:27

infuriating to see, but it's seemingly hasn't

29:29

stopped people from buying. Saying.

29:32

No Way. No No No way You stop. Stop

29:34

you Telling me that. Dead. Just

29:37

because they raise the prices of

29:39

eggs and milk, people didn't stop

29:41

buying Exile Sure there's necessities by

29:43

people are still out there buying.

29:45

yeah I go to Costco. Place

29:47

is packed packed with people still

29:49

up there, cards with tons of

29:52

stuff. I mean because you know.

29:54

There. Are Americans and worst comes to worse.

29:57

Off does put it on my credit card.

29:59

Yeah, that's. Goodbye nothing's

30:01

in the shop. I get

30:03

it. Jesus loves Cosco. Jesus love you,

30:05

Love capitalism. Don't Ah, you were. If

30:08

you were a carpenter, you were a

30:10

carpenter. I was a carpenter by blood.

30:12

But I guess yeah, you were more

30:14

of a socialist carpenter. Or were you

30:16

a capitalist carpenter? For those twenty missing

30:19

years and then and then something happened

30:21

with your business, if things went south

30:23

sea, got crushed by a competitor, and

30:25

all of a sudden you are like.

30:28

That. It I'm going monk. And.

30:30

Then she said total. So

30:32

says the realize through the

30:34

system. man. Wow. I started

30:36

smoking funny cigarettes. Lucky. You.

30:39

Mentioned Socialism: I love Cosco cause of the

30:41

free samples they hand out. That.

30:43

Style of Cosco. Now.

30:45

I know like it cause I'm a. Shop.

30:47

The a dropper. The. Have cause

30:49

co but no cocoa have come. Talk.

30:52

To sell it you said. Yeah.

30:55

Ah let's with gay bars or

30:57

for I guess and grinder that's

30:59

how my brain works. Jesus cock

31:01

co those over the like low

31:03

I'm gonna go for and remember

31:05

we talked about God's Army. alleged

31:07

they called themselves Gods Army. Of

31:10

course they I have nothing to

31:12

do with them. Ah,

31:14

they were headed towards the border because

31:16

they wanted they didn't want to take

31:18

down the razor wire. Oh yeah,

31:21

because they hate the stranger and

31:23

migrants there. You know completely the

31:25

opposite type of person from what

31:27

you taught. Yeah. Dominant exactly.

31:29

I remember them how they don't hair

31:31

at least the. The.

31:34

The whole thing. When they got there, he blew up

31:36

in their face. Ah, Yes

31:40

is as as is. Right wingers

31:42

lied to them who can see

31:44

that coming. Take back our border

31:47

convoy are telling reporters that they

31:49

are very confused about what they

31:51

were told was happening and what's

31:53

actually happening. They. expected to

31:55

see lines of immigrants lined up wanting

31:57

entry and many trying to cross over

32:00

outside the normal ports of entry. They

32:02

say this isn't happening at all. In

32:05

fact, they aren't seeing lines at all. No

32:08

one crossing the border or no

32:10

crisis. Some aren't even sure

32:13

now why they're there. Classic

32:18

Jesus. Well, I guess that's

32:20

what happens when you watch Fox news, et cetera,

32:22

et cetera, all day, every day, and you just

32:24

see them looping the same clip

32:26

again and again of migrants.

32:29

Yeah, that's what happens when you're brainwashed.

32:31

Yeah, exactly. Someday you wake up and you're like, wow,

32:34

what have I done with my life? Probably like, wow,

32:37

we're in the middle of nowhere. There's

32:39

nowhere to eat. I'm,

32:41

I'm, there's no way that... Why didn't anybody

32:43

tell me that Fox news was lying? Yeah.

32:50

Yeah. Anyway, uh, that's what

32:52

you get for calling yourself something

32:55

as insidious as God's army.

32:58

God's army. Just a nerve.

33:01

Just a nerve. At least

33:03

they didn't call themselves Jesus's army. No,

33:07

I don't need that. No, thank you. No.

33:10

Remember what we promised listeners? You were going

33:12

to smite more in 24 and here's one

33:14

example. Yeah, smite more in 24. You

33:18

just wait. I'm working on some good smites. Oh

33:21

yeah. Oh yeah. Get ready for

33:23

an October surprise. Yeah. Should we

33:26

answer, let's do some crowd work,

33:28

Jesus. Yeah. Oh, crowd work. Hey,

33:30

how's everybody doing tonight? Hey, hi

33:32

everybody. Thanks for coming out. Hey,

33:34

hey, hey. Isaac on YouTube

33:37

says, God, could you find a girl

33:39

for me preferably named

33:41

Rebecca? Ooh. Does

33:45

there, do you have one picked out for you

33:47

already? Or why does she

33:49

have to be named Rebecca? Did

33:52

your old girl named Rebecca leave you and you

33:54

miss her? So now you want to continue with

33:56

a new Rebecca? Isaac, what's in

33:58

the name? What's.

34:00

The name. What is going to my name's

34:03

one of the girl is just a Becca.

34:05

Is that okay? What about it borders? what

34:07

of his name? Something totally different. The.

34:10

Long as she loves you, Who gives a crap? Way

34:14

rather have or a backer or never

34:16

be in love again. Let us

34:18

know more serious. Ah,

34:21

look at the swine guy had.

34:24

Anxiety. Match your tip. Magic

34:26

Taro said will you be my

34:28

Valentine? Your.

34:31

I. Will definitely be your Valentine

34:33

and anyone else and needs

34:35

a Valentine. I got you

34:37

covered. With a lot alike

34:40

in a rebecca. We

34:43

should do a dating show on. This

34:45

show was other be the Ravens. let's

34:47

match me with dating show. Matchmaker:

34:50

Matchmaker make me a match. On.

34:52

My Santa Claus! Ah! on Valentine's

34:54

Day I go around the world.

34:58

And everybody that needs

35:00

a valentine. I

35:04

show up and. Well.

35:09

You. Know what I mean. Oh wait,

35:11

we have an ad says wow, legal

35:13

advice your vague at the beginning to

35:15

do as. Isaac

35:17

pointed out sorry we forgot, I. That.

35:20

He was in the Bible that

35:22

Isaac married Rebecca? Oh okay, will.

35:25

They definitely don't worry about it.

35:27

We. Didn't shall we didn't We didn't write it.

35:29

so. "We forgot that

35:31

somebody made up their parts", Rob

35:33

Harrison says, "What does the Bible

35:36

say about protecting your to lay

35:38

around now?" Ah,

35:41

I'm nothing. That.

35:43

Says a lot of stuff about welcoming

35:45

the stranger. Oh Jesus and

35:47

particular. it depends on which part of

35:50

the bible you read. I. Mean, you

35:52

read one part, it's going to say one thing.

35:54

You read another part, it's gonna say that it's

35:56

a it's totally contradictory and you can cherry pick

35:58

it out you. What? But. The point

36:01

is that Christians are all like

36:03

wow, A Jesus Jesus is the

36:05

really important part. You gotta listen

36:07

to everything Jesus says except when

36:09

it doesn't suit them. And

36:12

then they're like, yeah,

36:14

well, in Leviticus. So

36:16

the oh yeah bro.

36:19

They. Weren't very nice to the occasions. Doctor.

36:21

V says God. Wired.

36:24

Aliens in the Bible. Aren't.

36:26

I know. Are they. Were.

36:28

There any aliens and your time besides

36:30

you? A yeah, there's a couple. There's

36:32

a couple and he eats. he was

36:34

actually arounds back then. know that are

36:37

not. That. Little guy doesn't

36:39

aids. Yeah, he was. He was one

36:41

of the two thieves or okay, next

36:43

to your right. Yeah, exactly. You turn

36:45

one way and there was a thief

36:48

and each on the other way as

36:50

they eat. Eat Scissorhands so much. Pain.

36:54

And as like one day I'm going to

36:56

introduce you to a guy named Spielberg and

36:58

use you are going to make it big.

37:01

And they did. I was right. I. Was

37:04

a matchmaker. They're actually. Allison

37:06

was no a god Do you

37:08

wear underwear underneath your smock? And

37:12

I've answered this before and the answer

37:14

is No. I do not. I

37:17

am free Bolland. I'm free. Ssssss.

37:23

I did not need to know

37:25

That bought his. I did not

37:27

need to know my father's jewels. It

37:29

is bouncing around down there but I'm

37:31

glad we are are sitting at desks

37:33

silent. here's a guy questions Jesus. Dawn.

37:36

Asks. For. The Superbowl

37:38

this Sunday. Seeps: Or

37:40

Forty niners who you're going for?

37:43

cheese, cheese, cheese. And. Not

37:45

just for the taylor of at all.

37:47

I believe I made the statement a

37:49

couple weeks ago. I love the Kelsey

37:51

family. I love Mama Kelsey. I do

37:54

love that's Ah Tate. hey has been

37:56

there. Ah, I'm. By. A

37:58

look at the only problem is that. Where

38:00

in the Superbowl last year? And one right?

38:03

So a repeat of kind of Boring by

38:05

I guess I'm not a forty niners sammy

38:07

ago when whoring a bit of best. Yeah.

38:11

The. Rarest oracle. And

38:13

heard it's really cool team quarterback green

38:16

superman or whatnot. Are.

38:18

Ya, I don't. I do not like the Forty

38:21

Niners and I'll tell you why. Because.

38:23

They're currently being. Totally.

38:26

Endorsed by the right wing. The

38:28

right way was like hey San Francisco

38:30

I know we make fun of you

38:32

a lot. understood covered streets but. Now.

38:35

We're gonna truce for two weeks

38:37

because we hate a day and.

38:39

I'm the slightest. Dogs. But

38:42

also they have a lot of i'm. Like.

38:45

Chumps supporters on the team to dinner. The.

38:49

Teeth. So the Forty Niners. The

38:51

Forty Niners. I did

38:54

not know the how the defensive and

38:56

Nick Bowser famous Trump supporter and then

38:58

also came out the Swedes. The. Christian

39:00

Mccaffrey, the running back for the

39:02

Forty Niners. He. Was

39:04

selling his house and Carolina

39:06

or whatever. And. There was

39:08

like a big don't tread on Me flag

39:11

in one a naturally. And

39:13

so people derive from that. In.

39:15

A take from that or or

39:17

will he oh yeah you the

39:19

clearly he's fairly fairly right wing

39:22

census think so Yeah this game

39:24

is literally become for lot of

39:26

people's the left vs the right.

39:29

And if you'd it's it's it's of

39:31

forty niners when then. Didn't. Jump

39:33

Wins. And. If the.

39:36

Chiefs when than by enough. Funny

39:38

how everything just uses itself into

39:40

the gold for were it is.

39:42

Yeah, I don't know sure. There's

39:45

plenty of fine folks in the

39:47

Forty Niners. And. Plenty of

39:49

deuces on that eats you know

39:51

is is it as is as

39:53

there is in America. Yeah.

39:57

So don't get get caught up in all

39:59

that's a topic. Good time watching the

40:01

game and enjoy The not my favorite

40:03

part of all this is the meltdowns.

40:06

From. Hill. From. These dude

40:08

error or right wing people

40:10

who dislike. Because

40:15

the Tv told them. The.

40:17

Civil Liberal. right? The

40:20

I mean she was on television for wide.

40:22

a total of like a minute and a

40:24

half across than a season or something or

40:26

that. What? they're losing their minds over. And.

40:29

Acts as you ever imagine like a swift

40:31

fan losing their mind because they saw a

40:34

football player at like the Grammys. Now.

40:36

Now and unfortunately, he wasn't there

40:38

cause it's bowl commitments by. The

40:41

I: He was too busy preparing for the

40:43

Superbowl or it. Will. Be right

40:45

back after these messages. John.

40:48

Asks jesus, Are you

40:50

a shepherd or sister

40:53

man? Runes. His weight.

40:55

Fishermen. S I think

40:57

he means your major been

40:59

asked fisherman's ah I'm I

41:02

would feel Ferdinand yeah I'm

41:04

a sister I love fest

41:06

thing now Ah consider myself

41:08

a a shepherd. I.

41:10

Shepherds the people to see. Been

41:13

thinking about that. Jesus, I'm like

41:15

yeah ah, my type of thing,

41:17

I promise. You.

41:20

Won't catch me in the hospital for that. But

41:23

yeah, so assess, assess, assess. It's

41:25

humid gay. Of

41:28

our ssssss. On

41:30

Yom a shepherd I shepherd the

41:32

people. I offer wisdom that you

41:34

are follow and I i don't

41:36

like says or fists and you

41:38

make a mean shepherd's pie. I

41:40

do. Ah yeah, you gotta come

41:43

over and try it again sometime.

41:45

How could anybody blindly follow some

41:48

celebrity wonder? All that, Some fans.

41:50

Great point isaac. Could. Taste

41:52

or says God What? Superbowl Commercial Are

41:54

you Excited to see. I'm. excited

41:56

to see jesus is he

41:59

gets us campaign and come

42:01

back. No, you're not excited

42:03

for that. No. People are

42:05

hypocritical. They're homophobes. Liars and

42:08

homophobes, right? And

42:10

they're just using, they're

42:12

using you to make

42:15

people to pull them in and be like, no,

42:17

no, you don't understand. Jesus is cool. He's woke.

42:19

Jesus is woke. We're cool. We're cool. We're cool.

42:21

We're all cool. And then the website, and once

42:23

they get you in, they're like, by

42:26

the way, you

42:28

right winger now. I don't know what

42:30

their plan is, but it's something of

42:32

that. Oh, the

42:35

commercials. Yeah. It's like a five hour

42:37

game. It starts at six 30. What

42:39

time do you think it ends Jesus?

42:42

Um, six 30, nine

42:46

30, nine 30, 10. Wow.

42:49

Right? That sounds about right. Yeah. Um,

42:52

and uh, ushers the halftime

42:54

performer, a show, a show,

42:56

a show, a show, a

42:58

skit, skit, skit, skit. Yeah.

43:01

Right. That's him. Right. My, my favorite

43:03

commercials are the ones we don't hear

43:05

about in advance. Unfortunately it feels like

43:08

these days they post all the Superbowl

43:10

commercials in advance, I guess to drum

43:12

up some hype, but then none of

43:14

them are surprised. So that's boring. I

43:16

saw it looks like Ben Affleck's doing

43:19

another Dunkin Donuts commercial. I saw about

43:21

that this morning. I honestly find it

43:23

funny that he is the spokesperson of

43:25

the out basically cause

43:27

he just was a Dunkin Donuts

43:30

super fan living his own life in

43:32

the paparazzi catch him like drinking Dunkin all the

43:34

time. And then Duncan was finally like, wait, wait,

43:36

maybe we should hire this guy. I've seen

43:38

that meme you're talking about. When are they gonna,

43:40

um, when's he going to be, start selling cigarettes?

43:44

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. That's

43:46

how it works. It's

43:48

time. It's time for blessings and smites. Jesus. Time for

43:50

us to wrap it up. I

43:52

would like to bless Taylor

43:54

Swift's forthcoming album, something,

43:58

something poet society. I

44:00

can't wait April 19th the

44:03

day before what do you mean something something I

44:05

already forget the name of

44:07

it Tortured poets Society Jesus

44:09

the torture poets department Sorry,

44:13

it's called the tortured poets

44:15

department Oh department. Yes

44:18

Sorry, oh, it's okay.

44:20

I forgot it too. I'm a fake fan. I

44:22

was a lie and God it comes out The

44:26

day before your favorite holiday for 20 So

44:30

we're just gonna have an excellent week up

44:32

here in heaven. I think oh,

44:34

yeah cool I want to bless

44:36

the right losing their mind over Taylor Swift.

44:38

I think you all are scared of her

44:41

making a endorsement or even

44:43

honestly, they're probably even scared of her

44:45

asking her fans to go out and vote and I

44:49

want to bless King Charles the third now. This

44:51

is not something I would normally do but I

44:55

wish you well in your fight against cancer.

44:57

Oh, yeah, that's nice. Yeah Hate

45:00

you just cuz you're rich and privileged right

45:02

right. That's why he loves Taylor Swift and

45:06

I want to smite be San Francisco 49ers

45:09

Go cheese Yeah

45:12

The millionaire Jay-Z complaining about Beyonce

45:14

not getting a Grammy. I would

45:17

honestly like to

45:19

smite all that because Um

45:23

You're like a billionaire Right.

45:26

Can you stop complaining? Can

45:29

you really just she's got

45:31

a ton of other Grammys and yeah, maybe it's

45:33

a popularity contest and maybe it is bull crap

45:36

But just don't complain You've

45:39

got a billion dollars You'd literally never have

45:41

to worry about anything ever again in that

45:43

department and if you have a health problem

45:46

It'll get solved by money so

45:50

My name on a man. I'm

45:52

probably so just please just stop

45:54

complaining Please

45:57

because have you seen the responses?

46:00

to Elmo. Okay,

46:02

people out there have real problems.

46:05

How dare you complain about

46:07

not getting enough Grammys. Yeah.

46:11

And I would like to

46:13

bless Elmo. Poor

46:15

Elmo. Thank you. For

46:18

doing Elmo's best. Elmo

46:20

got crucified. Ah, I've been

46:23

hit so much! I

46:25

think I love my Elmo impersonation more

46:27

than anyone. Yours is

46:30

really good. Yeah. And smite San

46:32

Francisco 49ers. Um, just,

46:35

just because. Because.

46:39

So Jesus, next week when we meet,

46:41

we're going to have a lot to

46:43

talk about in the, uh, after glow

46:45

of the Superbowl. We'll be

46:47

able to talk about the commercials. We'll be able

46:49

to talk about how many times Taylor Swift appeared.

46:51

We'll be able to talk about how

46:54

incredible the Chiefs did. Yeah. Yeah. We'll

46:56

be able to, are you placing any

46:59

bets on the game? Uh,

47:01

no comment. But

47:04

if I do, you know who I'm

47:06

betting on. Are

47:08

you? I mean, I've never

47:10

gambled before, but so

47:13

probably not. No. Okay. All right.

47:16

Because you never know what's going to happen. You're going to

47:18

be like, Oh, Travis Gels is going to be the MVP.

47:20

And then it's like the kick returner. Right.

47:22

When, when I, when I make

47:25

a sports bet, I'm

47:27

doing a very simple bet. I'm not

47:29

betting like MVP. Right. Exactly.

47:32

All right. Well, thanks for your time,

47:34

Jesus. Thank you. And thank you to everyone in

47:36

the audience for hanging out

47:38

with us. We really have a

47:41

lot of hope in growing our

47:43

video presence online. And

47:45

I, like I said, I'm putting out

47:47

videos every single day on Facebook. I

47:50

really got to figure out, I got to get

47:52

them everywhere. I'm just so tired after I'm

47:54

done editing. It's like three in the morning.

47:57

Yeah. I only load it up in one place and

47:59

that's on Facebook. Facebook. So

48:01

if you see my videos in your feed

48:03

on Facebook, give it

48:06

a watch. Watch to the end. Give

48:08

us a like and a comment. I'll try to figure

48:10

out how to make it as entertaining

48:12

as humanly possible for you.

48:16

And until someday we

48:18

are slamming trains in the pits like

48:20

Mr. Beasley. That's why he

48:22

doesn't. All right. Well, thanks

48:25

for listening, humans. You can also listen to

48:27

the God Pod on any

48:29

of your favorite podcasting platforms.

48:31

Does anybody listen to podcasts anymore,

48:34

Jesus? Yeah, they're still popular.

48:36

They're still? Yeah. With

48:38

a certain kind of dude? Yeah. Okay. You can

48:40

listen to this on your

48:43

favorite podcasting platform and

48:45

yeah, we'll be here next

48:47

week. Same time, Jesus? Same

48:50

time, sure. Same time, same

48:52

God channel. We'll see you

48:55

then. Bye, everybody.

48:57

Bye-bye now. Bye-bye. The

48:59

Lord has spoken.