0:01

What seems to be vexing you

0:04

me lord? I've gone

0:06

on the internet to attempt

0:08

to purchase tickets to the

0:11

Greatest Generation Star Trek podcast

0:13

for its second ever appearance

0:15

at King's Place during the

0:18

London Podcast Festival on 14th

0:20

September. Sounds like a

0:22

right good time governor. Why

0:24

are you so red in the face then? Well

0:27

sir, I've found that the tickets

0:29

are sold out. I am

0:32

right upset about this. Call

0:34

my solicitor. Don't

0:36

let this happen to you. Very few

0:38

tickets are left for the Greatest

0:41

Generation's second ever overseas performance coming

0:43

again this year to the London

0:45

Podcast Festival on September 14th. Go

0:49

to greatestgentour.com for tickets now

0:51

or end up like that rich twat. I

0:54

can say that because he's English. Here's

0:56

to the finest crew in Starling. When

1:02

it comes to my crew, you won't get any arguments

1:04

from me. This

1:07

is a parody. Harem

1:11

out owns the song.

1:15

Welcome to the Greatest Generation. It's a Star Trek

1:17

podcast by a couple of guys who are just

1:19

a little bit embarrassed about having a Star Trek

1:22

podcast. I'm Ben Harrison. I'm Adam

1:24

Pranika. Oh Ben, you got that low voice, don't

1:26

you? You

1:28

going low. It's almost like it's

1:30

early in the morning, but it's not. Now.

1:33

I think my voice is, it does

1:35

sound morningy and I'm getting over a

1:37

cold after my horrific ordeal

1:39

with dental surgery and my son having

1:42

hand, foot and mouth disease. All

1:44

that was capped off with me getting a cold.

1:47

Great things come in threes, don't they? They

1:49

really do. This morning, because

1:52

my voice now sounds like

1:54

morning voice, this morning it was

1:56

so much lower that I was trying to

1:58

get my home assistants to play. children's

2:01

music for my son. And

2:03

it was saying like, I don't

2:05

recognize your voice. Who is speaking?

2:08

Who is speaking? So

2:10

it thought your voice was so low.

2:12

It was like now playing boys to

2:14

men. Yeah. For

2:17

me and the other childless FODs

2:19

in the audience, what mean hoof

2:22

and mouth disease when it comes

2:24

to a kid? I

2:28

don't know what it is exactly, but,

2:30

and it like, nobody

2:32

our age seems to remember this being

2:35

a thing. And I don't know if that's

2:37

just because you get it when you're like littler

2:39

than you can remember or what, but

2:42

it seems to be like a total rite of

2:44

passage for this age of kids. It's

2:47

just some virus. It like gives them

2:49

a little rash and, you know, little

2:53

spots around their fingers, toes

2:55

and mouths and butts. Let's

2:57

be, let's be honest and butts.

3:00

If your kid doesn't have it at a certain age, you

3:02

got to stick them together with a,

3:05

with another hooved animal. I

3:07

think that that I get it. I think that's

3:09

what you do. Yeah. Wow.

3:12

Yeah. I mean, it's a, we

3:16

took him to like a play gym, like one

3:18

of these like indoor, you know, everything

3:21

is a padded surface kind of places. Ben, even

3:23

I know that's how you get it. Yeah. You

3:26

think they're washing those balls? Well,

3:28

so like one of the other parents said like, don't, yeah,

3:31

don't let him go in the ball pit because

3:33

that's where the hand, foot and mouth is. And,

3:36

and I like asked our pediatrician, like, is that,

3:38

is that real? Like, is there like a particular

3:40

worry about the ball pit? And she was like,

3:42

no, he's just going to get it. Like there's

3:44

nothing you can do. And

3:48

then like a week later, he got it. That

3:50

kind of resignation is

3:53

an affront to everything

3:55

inside me that wants to put

3:57

in an effort. like

4:00

at least try, you know?

4:02

That sucks. Yeah. And

4:05

you work here. We tried.

4:07

Wash your balls is what I would have

4:09

said as a concerned parent. Yeah,

4:13

we tried. We tried very hard, but

4:16

I think it just comes for all of us. And

4:18

apparently if you get it as an adult, it sucks.

4:21

How have you of all people

4:23

not gotten this yet? You

4:26

get everything. I get everything.

4:28

And after my horrific

4:31

dental surgery, I was prescribed

4:33

an opioid painkiller, which

4:35

I like filled because like I

4:38

didn't fill it initially, but then Derone came down with

4:40

this disease and I was like, I'm

4:43

gonna go get that just in case because

4:45

I've heard it's like extremely painful to get

4:47

as an adult. And I was like, I

4:50

can't be recovering from surgery

4:52

and doing

4:54

that and not have some bigger

4:56

guns, you know? Yeah, just give yourself a

4:58

chance. I gotta go to the

5:00

weapons locker and get the big phasers. Big

5:02

phasers? Hey, by the way, we just had a

5:05

meeting, you and I, about going to STLV. Looks

5:07

like it's on this year. Stay

5:09

tuned for a release

5:11

about what exactly that's going to entail.

5:13

But I think so far the idea

5:16

is doing Prana Cabana and

5:19

some hangs and

5:21

maybe, maybe not some participation in

5:24

panels or whatever, we'll see.

5:26

We're entertaining offers at this point. We

5:28

are entertaining, aren't we? Well, on that note,

5:32

let's get into it. Let's start Trek. I'm

5:34

offer only, Ben. Season

5:37

one, episode eight, Breaking the Ice. Opening

5:41

in the mess hall, Ben, it's for

5:43

the first time. I'm

5:46

gonna go get some ice cream. I'm gonna go get some

5:48

ice cream. Opening

5:50

in the mess hall, Ben, it's

5:52

Flox and TripTucker, remarking

5:55

on a truly awful children's

5:57

drawing of their ship in

5:59

space. and it's one of a stack of them.

6:01

That's the worst part. It's not just this one. Yeah,

6:03

I'm going to put this one up in sickbay. Would

6:06

you like one for your quarters? Did you get

6:08

the feeling that these were actual drawings

6:11

by kids? Because I feel like in

6:13

movies, I often see, oh,

6:15

this is the drawing of a kid, and it's either

6:17

like too good or too bad in the

6:20

wrong ways. I think we

6:22

had a similar conversation around Captain Picard

6:24

day, back when we were talking about

6:27

that episode of Next Generation. And

6:29

I think where we landed was that

6:31

only a kid could make a drawing

6:33

that looks like a kid. There's

6:36

something about an adult's

6:38

drawing, the steadiness of

6:42

their lines maybe, that just

6:44

kind of betrays the age of it. Like

6:46

an adult would never try to make it look

6:48

like the stars by doing the like, the

6:50

five pointed star that you draw, like over

6:52

and over again, across the top of a

6:54

piece of paper. It made these really charming

6:56

to me. I recently

6:59

did an arts project at

7:01

home for our friend and

7:03

agent. His birthday was

7:05

flag day, and what he asked for

7:07

was flags from the people who

7:11

would come to this party. And so

7:13

me and my wife- My invitation must have

7:15

gotten lost in the mail. Yeah. I

7:18

think a hoof and mouth RSVP'd

7:20

for you. So my wife got blank flags

7:22

and a bunch of paint pens and

7:29

we drew flags to bring. Wow.

7:32

And my flag was the flag

7:34

of Negroni. And I drew like

7:36

this big Negroni with like ice

7:39

cubes and a curly lemon

7:41

peel and all that. And like, if

7:43

I step back and look at that,

7:46

a kid could never draw that,

7:49

too sophisticated. That's

7:51

an adult's work right there. They

7:53

don't even know what a Negroni is most of

7:55

the time. They don't know what a curly lemon

7:58

rind looks like. Forget

8:00

it. Negroni is a drink that

8:02

you could get like a pretty young kid to

8:04

be able to mix competently for you. I know.

8:07

That's something I should start to think

8:09

about. Like when this kid's like four,

8:11

I could be like, hey, go make me a

8:13

Negroni. I mean,

8:16

is that part of the reason you had

8:18

kids was like just to get a little more

8:20

help around the house? Yeah,

8:22

I don't have a lawn, but I'm gonna need

8:24

someone to mow something at some point. I'm not

8:26

sure that's worth it for me. I think I'm

8:28

gonna keep doing the chores. To

8:32

Paul walks in and she knows better than to

8:34

take one of these crude drawings

8:36

from the stack, especially

8:38

with the terrible and

8:41

sort of racist depictions of

8:44

her species. The coloring it in

8:46

green feels like, feels

8:48

aggressive. Yeah, don't love

8:50

that. I mean, they got the hair

8:52

right. They got the ears

8:54

right. The

8:56

coloration kind of hurtful. Is

8:59

this Vulcan embarrassed? Would a

9:02

Vulcan blush green in a

9:04

situation where their emotions

9:07

bubbled to the surface sufficient to

9:10

permit a visible sign of one? Do

9:13

Vulcans get green erections?

9:15

Like green robbing erections?

9:20

Oh yeah, do Vulcan ladies

9:22

get their manicures painted the

9:24

same color as their Vulcan

9:26

partner's green tip? That

9:28

is really something to think about.

9:31

That will probably haunt my imagination

9:33

for a long time. Well,

9:36

amidst all of the rave reviews for

9:38

this art, they get interrupted

9:40

by the ship dropping out of

9:42

warp and the captain getting

9:45

on the 1MC to basically announce like

9:47

we're flying over the Grand Canyon. And

9:49

if you happen to be one of

9:51

the 1 6th of people on

9:54

this airplane that have a window seat on the right

9:56

side, you can get a look at it. It's

9:59

gotta be. something every airline

10:01

captain loves to do. The

10:04

sort of unnecessary PA call.

10:07

Leave five, six of the people out

10:09

of a cool thing. Nice,

10:11

love it. Thanks for pausing my

10:13

movie to do that. I

10:16

mean, the worst people are the window

10:18

seat sitters who keep their shade down

10:20

just the whole time. What the fuck are

10:22

you doing? God bless the window seat sitters that

10:25

keep their shade down. I don't want that thing

10:27

up. That's the

10:29

one downside of sitting on the aisle for me is

10:31

that I have no control over that fucking window and

10:33

I don't want it up. I

10:35

want it down. We are

10:38

incompatible travelers and getting more

10:40

incompatible with every year.

10:43

It must be so interesting to hear

10:45

us become crankier and more recalcitrant over

10:47

the years for our listeners. Yeah.

10:50

Watch a friendship blossom and then fall

10:52

apart before your very eyes. Hey

10:55

man, if you're sitting in a different row,

10:57

that's fine. Preferable. I'm

11:00

keeping my window up. So

11:04

the Encyclopedia Volcanica contains no

11:06

references to this comet. And

11:09

so they're like, Archer's Comet? We could

11:12

call it that. I mean, what's interesting

11:14

about this comet is that it's the

11:16

biggest on record. Big

11:19

honker. Measuring from the

11:21

end of the trail on that.

11:25

I mean, it looks fine. Especially

11:27

for how cold it is. Kind

11:30

of an impressive size. Jack said you got a great

11:32

big. Comet. I

11:35

don't know, I guess so. Ben, I recently

11:37

had to have a

11:39

testicular exam from a doctor. Speaking

11:42

of impressive size. This

11:44

happened to me just yesterday. Like

11:47

the moment comes, I dropped

11:50

my shorts and I yanked

11:52

out my hog so that it like,

11:56

not that it looked bigger, so

11:58

that it wasn't stuck to my sack. I

12:00

wasn't even thinking about

12:04

it. Like

12:06

it was just like, oh yeah, like

12:08

down and then flop. Was that wrong?

12:11

As soon as I did it, I didn't mention it.

12:13

The doctor didn't mention it. The

12:17

examination was done very quickly,

12:19

obviously. And then it

12:21

was over, but afterward on like the walk in the parking

12:23

lot to my car, I was like, why did I do

12:26

that? It's

12:29

just force of habit. My

12:31

physician recently revealed upon

12:33

a growing old exam that

12:37

the iPad that keeps all of my

12:39

medical records has like past

12:41

images of my junk in

12:43

it. Whoa.

12:46

Yeah, like, yeah, just for

12:48

comparison, you can see like last time you were

12:50

here, it was this. It was like, whoa.

12:55

The doctor hits a button and it's

12:57

a slideshow set to Sarah McLaughlin's I

12:59

Will Remember You. Yeah,

13:01

it's up on the flat screen in the waiting

13:03

room. It's

13:06

the sunscreen song from

13:08

everyone's late 90s graduation.

13:11

Yeah, yeah. Enjoy your body. Use

13:14

it every way you can. How many

13:16

pictures do you think are in that

13:18

file of your dong? I

13:20

don't know. I didn't

13:22

remember them being taken, so it

13:25

came as a real surprise, but it

13:27

was plausibly me in that picture. Oh

13:29

yeah, only you look like that.

13:34

I cannot believe a doctor held up

13:36

an iPad to your groin and

13:38

like hit the shutter. What? Yeah,

13:41

must have had the silent mode on so that I didn't hear

13:43

it. There is no photographic

13:45

evidence of my genitals, I think

13:47

anywhere. I

13:51

mean, the only photographic evidence of

13:53

mine is HIPAA compliant, so. Sure.

13:56

Wow. Anyways.

14:00

Speaking of things that we'd like to

14:02

ignore, Tapal is like, hey,

14:04

this is a comet. These are, who

14:06

gives a shit, you know? Like, comets are comets.

14:09

There's nothing remarkable about comets. Leave

14:11

it alone. And they're

14:13

like, actually, we're going to explore

14:16

this comet because interested in this

14:18

great big comet. That standard issue

14:20

ball kick by Tapal here. It's

14:23

not strong enough to overcome the vibes of

14:25

the bridge crew, which are immaculate right now.

14:27

Everyone is fucking psyched about

14:29

this thing. And not even she

14:31

can throw a bunch of warm

14:34

water on this because

14:37

of the comet. That's why it

14:39

shows the temperature. That's a

14:41

little behind the joke right there. Right,

14:44

I gotcha, yeah. Yeah. So

14:48

it's late night. Tripp has found

14:50

some pecan pie in

14:53

the ship's automat and

14:55

is enjoying that with some cold

14:57

milk. And Tapal comes

14:59

into the mess hall and

15:02

he invites her to sit with him.

15:05

And she cannot be enticed with pie and

15:09

shouldn't have really sat with him because she wasn't

15:11

interested in conversation. And that's, I mean,

15:13

maybe because he didn't say, would you like to sit

15:16

and talk? She interpreted that

15:18

like super literally. I

15:21

think it would be less hurtful

15:23

while still being hurtful if she

15:25

just left without sitting down. It's

15:27

the sitting down that kind of draws out

15:31

the hurt in a way. Right.

15:33

But I think like if Tripp pitched this

15:35

in a true romance kind of way, I

15:37

think, like without any of

15:39

the romance, I mean in the movie kind of way.

15:42

Yeah, you like to eat pie after you

15:44

look at an asteroid? Care

15:47

for a bite? No, thank you.

15:50

It's delicious. It's mostly sugar. That's

15:53

where I'm going with that. But

15:55

yeah, she does not want pie. She

15:58

does not want company. He fucks

16:00

off and it leaves Tripp

16:02

alone to consider the question that I had in

16:04

the scene because you see it from all angles.

16:08

And in this light, I couldn't help but

16:10

think, does Tripp Tucker have

16:12

the best dude hair in Star Trek?

16:15

Wow. He is having a great

16:18

hair day right now. I

16:21

don't know, man. I

16:23

kind of had hair envy here. He's looking good.

16:27

He's a handsome devil. Did you

16:29

ever sun in or bleach or anything?

16:32

I think it's the color of it that

16:34

I really respond to. He's

16:37

got some good highlights. I

16:39

was a teenager in the 90s. I

16:43

did sun in. When your pediatrician flipped

16:45

through the dick pics in your file, one

16:48

year was the sun in your? The frosted

16:50

tips on the pubes.

16:54

Later on the bridge, the crew

16:56

is studying the composition of this thing. It's

17:00

got a pretty rare mineral inside, isilium.

17:03

Don't see that too often. Let's

17:06

go get a sample. Not even

17:08

the Vulcans have studied this. This

17:10

would be great for us, right? The plan

17:12

is to go take a shuttle over there and

17:15

do an Armageddon style mission.

17:17

We're going to do a core drill.

17:19

It's going to be Malcolm Reed and

17:22

Mayweather on that mission. As

17:25

that is decided, a Vulcan

17:27

starship pulls up. This is our

17:30

first Vulcan starship of Star Trek

17:32

Enterprise. This

17:34

one's called the Timor. I

17:37

like it. It's like a big hula

17:39

hoop in space. It's

17:41

too bad we never got to go

17:43

inside because I think we'd see in

17:45

the shuttle bay a large banner that

17:47

said teamwork makes the

17:50

dream work. That's

17:56

a little bit of team building you wouldn't expect

17:58

from the Vulcans, right? Yeah. That

18:01

captain over there, Captain Vanek, really

18:04

knows what's up. Yeah, there's no

18:06

I in Timor, except there

18:08

is. You

18:11

know what I love about this ship? It

18:13

isn't the obvious. It isn't like the ring around

18:16

the fuselage thing. It's

18:18

that it's red. I love that. There

18:21

aren't enough red ships in Star Trek. It's

18:24

a very handsome color. And

18:26

very proud, the bow part that sticks out from

18:28

the middle, it looks like the prow of a

18:34

mighty ocean-going vessel or

18:36

something. You're saying it's got proud

18:38

prow. It's got proud prow.

18:40

Do you think if they took this ship

18:43

to a ski resort, they

18:46

would do proud prow and the pow pow? Yeah.

18:50

Are you lost? Not

18:52

at all. I loved Captain Vanek. He

18:54

looked like a TOS

18:57

Vulcan in

19:00

all of his FaceTimes. Something

19:04

about his hair and the color palette

19:06

of his ship when they did FaceTimes

19:08

with them. And he's

19:10

like, yeah, I'm also here. I

19:14

kind of wanted them to get into

19:16

a dispute over who found the asteroid

19:18

first because the humans

19:20

seemed really excited about this

19:22

not being in the Vulcan

19:24

database. And he says something about

19:26

like, oh yeah, we found this like two

19:29

days ago. But I didn't, I was unclear

19:31

on the timeline whether the humans could claim

19:33

it or not. Yeah.

19:35

Nothing is made of that kind

19:37

of stick your flag in it

19:39

ownership at all. No. Because

19:42

it's like, it's an opportunity for comedy, right? Like if they

19:44

were like, well, we were calling it Archer's Comet, but if

19:46

you guys found it first, and

19:49

he'd be like, I really don't give

19:51

a shit what you call it. You

19:53

know, like the comedy in this scene

19:56

has to do with Captain Vanek deciding

19:58

to just lay back and watch like

20:00

watching. Archer do shit on Enterprise. It's

20:02

is like watching chive TV and like

20:05

a program about people getting kicked in

20:07

the nuts for an hour. Like this

20:10

is entertainment for Vulcans. Like you doing whatever

20:12

it is you do a week to week.

20:15

It's fucking great for us. We're going to watch

20:17

you do your cute little space walk and yeah,

20:19

we're just gonna, we're going to enjoy

20:21

ourselves. I love how that

20:23

is, is like in conflict with the

20:25

idea that Archer feels like they're spying

20:27

on him, but really it's just like,

20:30

it's way less nefarious than that. Yeah.

20:33

It's purely entertainment. Just

20:35

more Vulcan chaperones to look over

20:37

his shoulder and watch his work.

20:39

And he really chafes under this.

20:43

Uh, Reed and Mayweather head down

20:45

to the comet and they're in

20:47

like special space walking suits and

20:51

excited for their, their little away

20:53

mission. It's two suits

20:55

and a box full of pliers.

20:58

Almost exclusively pliers are what

21:00

they're bringing down. Yeah.

21:03

I mean, that's a, you need those for mining,

21:05

right? I'm sure. I guess

21:08

you're going to be digging for a long

21:10

time with pliers. How

21:12

great is Mayweather on the way

21:14

down though? His smile is giving

21:16

me life. I feel like

21:18

you don't see a real sincere,

21:21

excited smile on Star

21:23

Trek very often and he's got it.

21:25

He's sort of the flip side of

21:27

the Archer coin for me, because

21:29

as we're getting more and more into

21:32

this show, I am

21:34

appreciating Scott Macula in a way that I

21:37

feel like I didn't in previous watch

21:39

throughs in that like, I think

21:41

Archer is being intentionally

21:43

portrayed as kind of a fuck up and

21:45

like, and like a Nepo

21:48

baby who is like, maybe not

21:50

the like person with the right stuff, but

21:52

the person with the right dad. But

21:55

like all the same loves that he gets to

21:57

do it and is excited about it. like

22:00

Mayweather is in a purer way, a

22:03

guy that is just like, fuck, I can't

22:05

believe how great this is. He kind of

22:07

like early season Harry Kim. I mean, he's

22:09

just excited about snow. Yeah, this

22:11

is fucking great. He's seen it twice before

22:13

and now he's gonna go to the biggest

22:15

snowball anyone has ever found. Amazing.

22:19

["Hoshi Over the Road"]

22:22

So in

22:24

engineering, Tripp Tucker

22:26

calls Hoshi over to

22:29

a screen and he has

22:31

been doing some diagnostics and

22:33

discovered that signals are coming in

22:36

from this Vulcan ship and

22:39

being received by none other

22:42

than sub commander, T'Pol. And

22:46

this is raising some eyebrows

22:48

around engineering. And Hoshi

22:50

is gonna decrypt the message and

22:52

figure out what's going on. When

22:55

Tripp tells him about him in

22:57

his ready room, Archer feels betrayal

22:59

about T'Pol doing this. She's gone

23:01

behind his back because she promised

23:03

not to do stuff like this.

23:05

And that she did has

23:08

gotta feel awful. It's sickening

23:11

and potentially like a security

23:13

problem. I mean, nothing about

23:15

the previous episode comes up

23:17

here, but after they discovered

23:19

the huge surveillance infrastructure that

23:23

the Vulcans had built, it

23:25

seems like, you know, oh,

23:28

maybe Vulcans are all super untrustworthy

23:31

and we need to like reevaluate our

23:33

relationship with them. Would have been

23:35

on my mind here if I was Archer. What

23:38

do you think is the A story right

23:40

now? And what is the B story right

23:42

now? Based on that first scene,

23:44

the A story is the

23:47

relationship between the Starship Enterprise

23:49

and school children back on

23:51

Earth. And the B

23:54

story is Mayweather is getting,

23:56

get to see snow. Stick

23:58

a pin in that. I'm gonna come back to

24:00

it later. I think that's important. The

24:03

next scene on the bridge bend, I

24:05

think, is created

24:08

in order to guarantee that the

24:10

episode makes its time. Because.

24:14

It's so long. You can do this

24:16

as long as you need it. This

24:20

is like doing crowd work at a standup show.

24:22

Like, all right, well, I

24:24

mean, I guess I've got 20 for whatever

24:26

the fuck this is. Yeah, you two on

24:28

a date. Yeah, so

24:30

this scene is about Archer recording

24:32

a message to the elementary school

24:35

that sent those awful drawings in

24:37

the cold open. And he's doing

24:39

Q and A with the

24:41

classroom about what they

24:43

might want to know about what life is like on

24:46

Enterprise. And absolutely none

24:48

of these questions are interesting. All

24:51

of these questions should be stuff

24:54

that school children interested in space

24:56

flight or the Enterprise mission specifically

24:58

should already know. This is a

25:00

total fucking time waster. What do

25:03

you eat? How do

25:05

you date? How do you

25:07

speak to aliens? How do you

25:09

go to the bathroom? A poop question,

25:11

sir. And what's up with germs?

25:14

These are the questions. Six

25:16

minutes this scene takes up out of

25:18

the 44 minute runtime of

25:20

an episode of Star Trek. I

25:23

think this is on Archer. What do you

25:25

think? Because I'm sure you're having to comb

25:28

through all of the questions to get the

25:30

five or six most interesting. These are the

25:32

ones that he chose. Archer,

25:34

is this your idea of an

25:36

interesting question? When

25:39

school kids send a question to the

25:41

International Space Station, they like play a

25:43

guitar or like light a bubble

25:45

of hydrogen on fire or something

25:47

to like show them what happens in

25:49

zero gravity, right? Do you get

25:51

the sense that this is on video? What

25:54

they're sending back? Because I don't. I was

25:56

imagining it was like a video face. time.

26:00

I don't know why

26:02

I thought it wasn't. It's

26:04

just audio? Yeah. Like

26:06

the fucked up thing is they're not even

26:08

doing the teacher a favor, you know, back

26:10

on earth. Like the teacher can't even like

26:12

take a, take a smoke break given the

26:15

length of this thing. Like it should either be

26:17

half an hour or 30 seconds, you know?

26:21

Archer's like, well I can tell that

26:23

this isn't an art class that I'm

26:25

talking to. Disappointing

26:28

the teacher and the students, that's what

26:30

this scene does. Disappointing

26:32

me was the snowman

26:35

that Mayweather made. What the hell?

26:37

What is this shape Mayweather? I

26:40

mean you can't help but think of the

26:43

smiley face that the card drew in the

26:45

cloud coming out of the warp core. Like

26:47

this is now two smiley faces

26:49

on Star Trek. Yeah. I didn't think we'd

26:51

ever get one. I know.

26:53

Hey and also you

26:55

talked about having a snowball fight earlier. That's

26:57

what we wanted to see. You know what

27:00

I want to see more than a snowball

27:02

fight? If you're gonna say that we can't

27:04

mess with the costumes for continuity, I totally

27:06

get that. Hey Reed, check this out. I'm

27:08

gonna throw a snowball further than it's ever

27:11

been thrown before. And

27:13

Mayweather like balls one up and like

27:15

chucks it out of the gravity. How

27:17

cool would that be? Throw a snowball

27:19

at the Vulcans. Throw a

27:21

snowball at the snowman. Yeah.

27:23

They didn't do anything. I feel like

27:26

it should have been more fun so

27:28

when Archer's incoming transmission comes in it

27:30

like clamps it down even harder. Right.

27:32

But that this moment is so not

27:35

even that fun. It makes Archer's

27:38

combination of the fun feel

27:41

like like it's too much. Like

27:43

he's too much of a of

27:46

a strict school teacher about it. You

27:48

know? Right. Yeah. I mean he just

27:50

doesn't want the Vulcans to see them

27:52

doing anything not science. I

27:54

mean Archer does stop them before like

27:57

they carve in the straight bangs and

27:59

like the weird hair or

28:01

like they antique the snowman with some green

28:03

powder or something. I mean the snowman does

28:06

look like a great big pile of shit

28:08

and maybe that's why he stops them is

28:10

like is like you it's like you've never

28:12

seen a snowman before you know everybody knows

28:15

it's the three balls in slightly descending size

28:17

what is this shape? This is a pile

28:19

this is not balls. Yeah. That's

28:22

the note I have about this this is a bad snowman. An

28:25

ugly fucking snowman. I wanted to see this

28:27

thing blow big later because they put one

28:29

of the charges right underneath him. Oh.

28:33

That sucked. There's so much

28:35

more fun that could have been had with this. I

28:37

know. I know. How do

28:39

you fuck that up? You know? I

28:42

was hoping for a little more symmetry. Over

28:44

in engineering Hoshi has decrypted

28:46

the Vulcan message and she

28:49

is cool because she did not read

28:51

it that is for Tripp to do

28:53

and when you get the shot of

28:56

his face as he takes it

28:58

in you can't

29:00

help but see crestfallen as

29:02

the parenthetical script note for

29:04

this right? I mean if if

29:06

you were looking at his face but I was looking at

29:08

his hair. Remember when the colonel

29:11

looks at Dirk Digler's cock at that party

29:13

and and like

29:15

he asked to see it and then

29:17

like his forehead kind of like drops

29:19

when he does both at

29:21

being so impressed and so discouraged

29:24

like that's what trip Tucker's expression is.

29:27

Thank you Eddie. The kind of

29:29

news that can only be described as Digler

29:32

like and Tripp

29:35

goes to deliver it to the captain.

29:38

This was not a super

29:40

secret Vulcan military

29:44

plan or anything like that. It

29:46

was a very personal matter and

29:49

Tripp is like I'm not going to tell you what

29:51

was in the letter because it's so private. Also

29:54

I am fucking pissed that the Vulcans made

29:56

me read this. He really

29:58

does make it about him here. What

30:02

do you think about the decision of

30:04

leaving the truth of this letter in

30:07

mystery for as long as they

30:09

do? Because several scenes pass between

30:11

now and when we finally get

30:13

the revelation that it almost diminished

30:16

its power by the time we

30:18

got there, I thought. Yeah,

30:21

I couldn't get there with it being like that

30:24

sensitive an issue. Like it's obviously very

30:26

private, but it's not like- Because you're

30:28

very pro-arranged marriage generally. It's

30:30

not like he got like, oh, this is a

30:33

letter from to Paul's doctor with a picture of

30:35

her junk, you know? Let

30:37

alone a slideshow of like her junk through

30:39

the years. Through the

30:42

years is another great song for that, isn't that Kenny

30:44

Rogers? Kenny's

30:48

a great choice for that slideshow.

30:50

Yeah, Loggins or Rogers, either way.

30:54

And Archer's quarters trip tells him

30:56

that I can't tell you it

30:58

and I'm feeling so bad that

31:00

I need to talk to Paul

31:03

about my knowledge of it. And Archer at the

31:05

end of the scene tells him that he admires

31:07

his honesty. But really, I think

31:10

when you're carrying a secret that

31:12

is going to hurt someone to

31:14

disclose, I think

31:16

sometimes it can be an asshole move to

31:19

share it. Like it's selfish to make yourself

31:21

feel better at the expense of someone else's

31:23

feelings. I think in this case especially, like

31:25

there are some cases where like the

31:28

truth is better, but in this

31:30

case, you got to eat it,

31:32

Tripp. Yeah, I also thought about like,

31:35

isn't it weird that they're just telling her

31:37

that the Vulcan codes

31:40

have been compromised? Like, that's

31:43

like a pretty big deal, right? To

31:45

be like, hey, like, so it's no

31:47

big whoop for us to just read

31:49

your mail. No one mentions

31:51

this. The Vulcans are going to change

31:54

the fucking ciphers, you know? Faith

31:57

of the fart. I

32:00

want to enjoy life. I want to let the juice

32:02

drip down my chin. When I go

32:04

out drinking, I want to go try all the

32:06

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32:09

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this is Mike Cavill on. If you are

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anyway. And Sierra Cotto. The hosts of TV

34:20

Chef Fantasy League. Where we apply fantasy sports

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wherever you get your podcasts. Hello

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everyone out there. Thank you

35:01

for coming to our service. Yes. We

35:03

are ready to heal you. We

35:05

are Ross and Carrie. We are

35:08

faith healers. Yes, you there. Yes

35:10

sir, you have a spirit of.

35:13

Not listening to enough podcasts. We have the

35:16

solution for that. We can cure you. You

35:19

should listen to Oh No Ross and Carrie. Hallelujah. It's

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on Maximum Fun. I couldn't have said it better myself. Yes

35:25

ma'am. Yes, you

35:27

there, Gladys. A spirit of boredom? Oh my

35:29

goodness, we have the solution for you. It

35:32

is to listen to the podcast, Oh

35:34

No Ross and Carrie. Oh

35:36

No Ross and Carrie. Oh No

35:38

Ross and Carrie. And

35:44

you will never take the greatest gin

35:46

alive. Ben

35:48

would rather die. Rather die, what?

35:52

He tries to make this relatable to

35:54

her by saying like, Hey, have you

35:56

ever screwed up massively? And she's like,

35:58

no, not something I've ever done. I

36:01

can say I've done. Hey Tripp,

36:04

is this your idea of a private

36:06

conversation and I'm gesturing to the bridge

36:08

where they're having this conversation? What

36:10

the fuck are you doing? I mean, this

36:13

is like what the Vulcans need

36:15

to realize they're doing by sending encrypted

36:17

messages in a cipher that the humans

36:19

can easily crack. She

36:23

is pissed. She almost blushes

36:25

green. She's so pissed. She's

36:28

in damage control mode here. She wants to

36:30

make sure that Tripp's the only one who's

36:32

read it because Tripp is enough of a

36:34

problem at this point. This has been such

36:37

a pain in her neck that it's a literal pain in

36:39

her neck. We

36:45

find out that she's having like stress

36:47

headaches from it. Over in Archer's

36:49

Ready Room, he has pitched the

36:52

idea of a ship visit to T'Paul. He's

36:54

like, hey, you know, I've had worse dinner

36:56

companions. I'm not gonna lie. And I'm talking

36:58

about you T'Paul. Why don't we get that

37:00

guy over here? And here's the best part.

37:03

You can work with the ship's chef on

37:06

programming a dinner, coursing it out in such

37:08

a way that he will have to go

37:10

away and he'll take a ship with him.

37:12

Can you do that? And

37:15

this is something that for some reason

37:17

T'Paul agrees to. Right after having the

37:19

most awkward conversation she's ever had in

37:21

her life with Tripp. I wanna

37:23

meet the ship's chef, by the way. A

37:26

couple of mentions of this person in

37:28

this episode. Do you think

37:30

we're not because Neelix looms

37:33

so large in the

37:35

Star Trek memory? Make

37:37

it another fun character and sell

37:39

another cookbook. Why not? Come on,

37:41

fan sitters, pick up the phone.

37:45

The number you dialed is not in service.

37:47

He'll never do that. You

37:50

think he even has a phone? No. He's

37:53

got a flip phone. I bet you anything. So

37:57

T'Paul winds up in six

37:59

pairs. and all

38:02

the stress of this letter she's gotten has been

38:04

such a pain in her neck that

38:08

it's a medical issue. A

38:10

laser level is the only device that

38:12

Flox has to diagnose a

38:14

condition like this. You

38:18

got yourself a laser level, Ben? I

38:20

got one of those a couple years ago and it's

38:22

the fucking greatest. I got one

38:25

literally three weeks ago for

38:28

the first time. Are you loving it? I'm

38:30

loving it. You see this shelf right here?

38:32

Hey! Laser level. Laser

38:35

level makes all the difference. Imagine hanging

38:37

a fucking shelf like a sucker with

38:39

a burble level. I mean, I hung

38:42

those other two without, but they're

38:45

good, but the laser level made

38:47

it so much easier. Snappy. You can

38:49

tell the difference. Lasers, who

38:52

knew? So Paul is not going

38:54

to take Flox's advice about talking to

38:56

someone about her problem. She will take

38:58

that shot to the neck though to

39:01

relieve some of her pain. And back

39:03

on the comet, Reed

39:05

has placed those explosive charges

39:08

all around the area, but not in

39:10

the crotch of the snowman, which

39:13

would have been the best and

39:15

funniest spot. And I think

39:17

you can put that on regular TV. Yeah.

39:21

That's TV-able. What is

39:23

bewildering about this is that the

39:25

safe distance from the explosion is

39:27

just behind a little ice outcrop.

39:31

This thing blows big and it does not

39:33

look like they're at a safe distance. We

39:36

cut before the like, the on

39:38

rushing cloud of debris hits them, but I kind of

39:40

wanted to be there for it with the like, it

39:44

suddenly becomes an absolute tempest

39:46

around them as

39:48

the shockwave comes in. Why

39:51

isn't the intercut of the

39:53

exploding snowman part of the

39:55

sequence? Go wide, close, wide

39:57

again? Like that's dynamic. You're

40:00

thinking like a Stallone director, you know?

40:03

Always have. So

40:05

this is a pretty deep crater that

40:07

Reed for some reason just scrambles down

40:10

without any rigging. I thought

40:12

that was surprising. Yeah. I

40:14

mean, it's like, it's like, what would you

40:16

say this is? Like five feet deep this hole

40:19

that they blew? It's bowl-like.

40:21

So even if you lose your grip, you're

40:23

just going to slide down. Yeah.

40:26

You don't want to tear your suit though. Yeah.

40:29

I didn't even consider the suit tear

40:31

risk. Right. Cut yourself

40:33

on that icy snowman dick that ended up

40:35

on the wall of that thing. You

40:39

could cut yourself on the icy energy in

40:41

the room and the captain's mess when Captain

40:43

Vanik comes for dinner, Adam. Oh, geez. Oh,

40:46

man. Oh, man. Did you see

40:48

that? All that talk about

40:50

giving the chef advice, we

40:52

get absolutely no detail about

40:54

what they're serving. Yeah. What

40:57

are you serving? You look just like chicken breast,

40:59

you know? It

41:01

specifically looked like canned chicken breast.

41:04

Oh, interesting. Like it was flaky.

41:07

Yeah. Something wrong with your pot-tar?

41:11

No. Archer's doing all

41:13

the talking, as he usually does when

41:15

he's dining with Vulcans, and that

41:18

makes him the sort of dinner companion that

41:20

always finishes his meal last. I don't like

41:22

this. I like eating with

41:24

folks that share the conversation and

41:27

eat at the same time in such a way that like

41:30

everyone finishes at the same time. You know

41:32

what I'm saying? That feels so good. Oh,

41:35

yeah. It feels incredible. I mean, you know

41:37

what the problem is, is a trip tucker

41:39

and to Paul are middling and they're no

41:41

good at middling. Not everybody has the

41:43

personality for the middling. It's very presumptuous

41:45

of you to even be sitting here. You know what

41:47

hurts is inviting someone over to

41:50

dinner and they've already eaten. That

41:52

is such a fucking asshole move. What

41:54

a dick. I couldn't believe this. Oh,

41:58

he doesn't want the tea either. tour of

42:00

the ship, like he accepted the invitation

42:03

and that's it. And the

42:05

totality of all of these things finally

42:08

builds Archer up into a boil and

42:10

he can't deal with this. He, he

42:13

finally kicks Vanik off the ship and

42:16

on his way out, Captain Vanik

42:18

looks down at to Paul and he says something

42:21

in Vulcan. No one

42:23

knows what he said. What did he say?

42:25

We'll never know. I mean, it'll

42:27

be one of the enduring mysteries

42:30

of film and television right up

42:32

there with the Boston

42:34

translation. But yeah, like,

42:37

uh, the vibes are so bad between

42:39

the Vulcans and the humans. Like, it's

42:42

so interesting. Like they keep digging the

42:44

Vulcan hole on this show. Like, when

42:47

are Vulcans going to be like the good guys that

42:50

are friends with the humans and, uh,

42:52

it's, it's not, it's not anytime soon,

42:54

it feels like. So on

42:56

the bridge, Hoshi shows Archer a picture of

42:58

the comet and uh, oh, some of the

43:00

information on the screen is in red. So

43:03

Archer blows a message in to read on

43:06

the surface of this thing. And he's like, look, man, uh,

43:09

when you blew up the snowman, it

43:11

changed the rotational dynamics of,

43:14

of the comet. And that means that

43:16

the shuttle and you guys are turning

43:18

toward this, this sun.

43:21

And once you're in the light of that

43:23

thing, you're going to get cooked. So the

43:25

important thing is to be done with your

43:28

business before that happens. Right. So, uh, we

43:30

only have a couple hours left and

43:33

up on the ship to Paul

43:35

calls trip Tucker into her quarters

43:37

to confide in him about the

43:39

dilemma she is facing. And

43:41

this is where we finally find out what was in

43:43

the letter. And we find

43:46

this out because she's like, I

43:48

need some advice from somebody and like

43:50

you already know my dirty secret. So,

43:52

uh, just to like keep

43:54

the circle real small, I

43:57

would like to seek advice from you trip Tucker.

44:00

Is this the most illogical thing

44:02

we've seen to Paul do at

44:04

this point? Because it would

44:07

seem as though the most important thing

44:10

for her to do is to seek

44:12

the counsel of someone who could actually help,

44:16

but that she chooses TripTucker purely for

44:19

cover, like

44:21

to cover up your shit

44:23

to make sure it doesn't get out even

44:26

further, that seems illogical to me. What exactly

44:28

is Trip gonna do? Advice-wise,

44:31

he's set up to fail. What

44:33

would TripTucker's relationship advice podcast even

44:35

be called? Fuckers and

44:38

Tuckers? That sounds like the

44:40

name of a drag show. Yeah,

44:42

that doesn't sound like a podcast, so

44:44

it can't be that. No,

44:47

no. Trip and fall into love? No

44:50

bad ideas, we're just, we're brainstorming right

44:52

now. Anyways,

44:55

the deal is her wedding plans are

44:57

fucked. That was a letter from

44:59

the parents of her

45:02

betrothed. We learn

45:04

a lot about the planned marriage

45:06

situation on Vulcan. Not

45:09

enough is made about to Paul

45:11

getting a message from her betrothed's

45:13

parents, because any time

45:15

you get a message from

45:18

your partner's parents directly,

45:21

that is not going to be good. That

45:24

has never helped me do a surprise party.

45:27

It begins to come from a selfish and fucked up

45:29

place. Yeah. And

45:31

the thing I think we've all seen

45:33

in Friends, if not in ourselves, is

45:35

a person that's kind of torn between

45:38

the stuff they want to do

45:40

and familial and cultural expectations being

45:42

put on them. And

45:45

it seems like it's only a dilemma

45:47

if she wants to stay, but she's

45:49

never openly admitted that she wants to

45:51

stay, because the parents are saying, get

45:54

off that dirty human ship

45:56

and get your ass home and marry

45:58

this guy or... or the wedding's off

46:02

and Tripp is like, so just

46:04

if you want to stay, stay and if you want to get

46:06

married, go get married. This is

46:08

actually a good scene for Tripp because

46:10

like as much umbrage as he takes

46:13

with the idea of this arrangement, he

46:15

really is on the side of what T'Paul

46:17

wants and he asks

46:20

before he even gives his own

46:22

advice or opinion about things. Like

46:24

that's just a bro being a

46:26

bro right there for a friend

46:29

and I like that moment for

46:31

him. What I didn't like was

46:34

how surprised T'Paul seemed to

46:36

be about how

46:38

unhelpful Tripp would be in a moment

46:40

like this and how

46:42

insulted Tripp became that T'Paul started

46:45

to recognize this. Like he leaves

46:47

in an absolute huff. What else

46:49

was gonna happen here? There was

46:51

no outcome that was different from

46:54

this. I didn't think when

46:56

I voted for the Jaguars eating faces

46:58

party that the Jaguars would eat my

47:00

face. Right. Kind of a thing. She

47:06

doesn't like his advice and

47:09

feels like all of her obligations are the things

47:11

she's gonna go with at the end of this

47:13

scene. We cut down to the

47:15

planet where Reed and

47:17

Mayweather have finished their mining

47:20

operation and are packing up

47:22

their equipment and Mayweather eats

47:26

a ton of shit on his way out of the hole.

47:28

I mean you gotta have

47:30

one of those sharp hammers for climbing

47:32

on the ice, right? Those are so

47:35

much fun. To own

47:37

some of those sharp ice climbing

47:39

hammers. That would be

47:41

so great. Or Jordy-like make

47:43

them with a phaser because you

47:45

fell down your own hole on

47:49

a Galorndon core. How

47:51

great slash awful was the

47:53

effect they used for the

47:55

sound of Mayweather's knee buckling?

48:03

This sounded like deboning a chicken. It

48:09

was spine chilling. This

48:12

is Star Trek fully holophane work right here.

48:14

I loved it. So they

48:16

are scrambling and they're gonna like lose their

48:18

equipment if they, you know, like they got

48:20

to get back to the thing or they're

48:22

gonna get cooked by this star as it

48:24

rotates into the into the sky

48:26

over the part of the asteroid they're on. He

48:29

looks down at the core sample and he looks

48:31

at Mayweather and he's like, we got to keep

48:33

this thing from melting. We got to

48:35

put it somewhere so it stays safe. Mayweather's

48:39

like, what do

48:41

you mean? There's no time for lubricant. There's

48:43

always time for lubricant. Many decades ago, we

48:46

started using spacesuits with little jets, little

48:49

jet packs even for our

48:51

space walks. Why don't these

48:53

things have little shh? That

48:57

would be cool. Like

48:59

little, little bomb around jets. They

49:01

should have had the rigging that they used when

49:03

they faked the moon landing footage to make their,

49:05

their hops look more like they were on a

49:07

low gravity environment, you know? So that if I

49:09

were to kick you in the balls, what

49:12

happens to you? I've slowed away. Yeah.

49:14

That would have been fun. Why don't they

49:17

use that more often? They've got it in

49:19

Hollywood. They invented it in the sixties to

49:21

fake the moon landing. It's in the same

49:23

warehouse the Ark of the Covenant lives in.

49:26

No one's getting in there. So

49:28

they're hobbling back to

49:31

the shuttle and the

49:34

meltiness of the star

49:37

starts putting cracks in the ice. They

49:41

did not seem to speed up when the ice started

49:43

cracking. Like I kind of wanted a little bit more

49:45

of a like, oh fuck, it's giving away. Hurry

49:47

up, hurry up. It's

49:49

more like stop and look around at

49:52

it giving away kind of energy. The

49:54

energy is diminished. W

49:56

slash R slash G, the danger

49:58

of this for that reason. But

50:00

they get on board the pod

50:02

and when they try to take

50:04

off, they fall into

50:06

a sinkhole essentially. There's

50:09

an effects person who's like, oh, so

50:11

just like the shuttle fell

50:13

through the planet's crust a couple of

50:15

episodes ago, you just wanted to rotate

50:17

that and make it cold looking? That's

50:20

what we're going for? The exact same

50:22

thing. Are you sure? Throw

50:25

this back up to the writer's room and see if

50:27

they could come up with some other kind of jeopardy

50:30

for the third act climax? We

50:32

learn when Archer radios them

50:34

that the shuttle has dropped 18 meters, which

50:37

is a distance no one has ever figured

50:39

out. But

50:42

it seems like the sort of distance that

50:44

the enterprise with grapplers should be able to

50:46

get them out of, like as they're in

50:48

this ditch. Meanwhile, the

50:51

Vulcan ship is hailing them like, hey, we

50:53

noticed very familiar effect we

50:55

just saw with the shuttle falling through the

50:57

surface, need any help and Archer's like, nah,

51:00

we're shooting the grapplers. And so they try to

51:02

do that, except one of the

51:04

grapplers hits and the other one misses and

51:07

they try to winch it up anyway with one grappler.

51:09

That's never going to work, Ben. Why

51:11

do they not have seat belts inside this

51:13

pod, by the way? Like they have seats,

51:15

they're just flying around and they're like pennies

51:18

inside of a soda can that you're throwing

51:20

to discipline your dog. It's

51:22

madness. They end up dropping another

51:24

nine meters. How far

51:26

is that? We

51:30

will never know. Paul

51:33

is great in this scene. I love this. Here

51:35

she is with her hand up Archer's ass, puppeting

51:38

him. Why not prove him wrong? You

51:41

can save them or you can

51:44

let your pride stand in the way. Yeah,

51:46

but interesting, right? Like Vanik

51:48

is like looking for you to be a

51:50

prideful idiot right now. So the more you

51:53

act the way you naturally want to act,

51:56

the more you are playing right into

51:58

his... Horrible

52:00

assumptions about what a dickhole you are. This

52:02

is so great. Fuck you for thinking the

52:04

worst of me. I'm gonna

52:06

be great at you is what Archer

52:08

does. Yeah. Rising

52:11

above. So, Vanik helps

52:13

by doing a tractor

52:15

beam instead

52:17

of a grappler and

52:19

saves the pod. And

52:23

Vanik is getting ready to leave. He's

52:26

headed out in an hour. And this

52:29

is go time for

52:31

DePaul to make her decision about

52:34

should she stay or should she go now? We

52:36

get a moment where Tripp asks DePaul

52:39

what's up and she doesn't answer him

52:41

and instead turns and walks out a

52:43

door, which I think makes us eight

52:45

for eight on shots of DePaul leaving

52:48

a room in its entirety.

52:50

If I go, I will be Vulcan.

52:54

And if I stay, I will be Sulkin.

52:58

Come on and let me know. Should

53:01

do Paul's day or should she go. We'll

53:03

be right back. Did you like this

53:06

episode Adam? I

53:15

did generally, but here's why I didn't specifically. I

53:20

was promised a read and Mayweather episode this

53:23

is why I asked you in the beginning what the A and the

53:25

B story was. I feel like this

53:27

is an episode that told me the

53:29

A story was read and Mayweather. The

53:31

B story is gonna be all this

53:33

intrigue with DePaul. That wasn't

53:35

the case at all. Instead,

53:37

it's where it should be. Like the

53:40

most interesting part is the DePaul story.

53:43

Once again, we learn nothing about read

53:45

and Mayweather even though this is a

53:47

moment where like this is

53:50

almost Baywatchian. This could have

53:52

been an entire episode where read

53:54

doesn't suck the blood out of Mayweather's

53:56

snake bite. And you're left to

53:59

wonder how close they are. to begin with. Like

54:02

we learn nothing about them individually

54:04

or as friends or coworkers. And

54:06

I thought, I

54:09

missed that opportunity, but if I'm gonna

54:11

miss it, I'd rather miss it for

54:13

something this important. Like that

54:15

was a huge headline to to

54:17

Paul's character that occurred in this

54:19

story. And very

54:22

interesting to learn what her priorities

54:24

are. Like this is now multiple

54:26

times in the first half of

54:28

this season where she

54:30

has rejected the pull of

54:34

Vulcan culture or Vulcan

54:36

obligation in order to stay on the ship.

54:39

And she has never articulated why

54:41

exactly that's happening. Why she's

54:44

making those choices. And I'm interested

54:46

in hearing more. It's really

54:49

interesting that when she is

54:51

interacting with

54:53

Vulcans, I'm gonna go check out

54:55

this human situation. And when she's

54:58

interacting with humans, it

55:00

is like you guys ain't got shit on

55:02

those Vulcans. Like she

55:04

really is pushing hard

55:06

against both in an interesting way.

55:09

She's like the transplant from

55:11

a city with

55:15

a sports team that's a dynasty.

55:17

Like she will always be a

55:19

Dallas Cowboys fan, even

55:22

if she moves to Portland, you know?

55:24

Right. I liked how like loose

55:26

and almost unstructured this

55:28

one was. Like there that like, hey,

55:31

we're just gonna spend like

55:33

a significant percentage of the episode

55:35

on this scene that has nothing

55:37

to do with anything. It's just

55:39

us blowing in a call to

55:42

a fourth grade class in Ireland was

55:45

a wild choice. But like one of

55:47

the most interesting taffy stretches I can

55:49

think of because it's so

55:52

long and so mind-splittingly banal

55:55

that it keeps you on the

55:57

edge of your seat just by dint of seeming. So

56:00

out of pocket. I loved it. I

56:03

gotta say. It's Chekhov's banality.

56:06

It really is, yeah. Here's one thing I

56:09

want to say about that scene is that

56:12

I have famously disliked Star Trek

56:14

The Next Generation episodes featuring child

56:16

actors because most of them are

56:18

bad. But the other

56:21

part about those scenes and how they're

56:23

used in TNG is that there's almost

56:25

always unintentional comedy or awkwardness.

56:29

Yeah. That's what this scene needed. I think

56:31

we needed something on screen. We needed an

56:33

awkward kid asking a stupid question and then

56:35

we needed to react around the bridge. Like,

56:37

get a load of this guy. Check

56:40

out those pigtails. Something like that.

56:43

This ship doesn't even have a battle bridge. What

56:46

are you talking about? Go

56:48

play in your weird dirt. I think

56:53

that's the punch-up for that scene. That way

56:55

it seems less transparently

56:58

like a six-minute

57:00

road to nowhere. That's

57:03

the thing. I think that

57:05

this whole episode has punch-up

57:07

written all over it. Make

57:09

Reed and Mayweather do way

57:12

wackier shit on the surface. Make

57:14

them put the explosive in the crotch of

57:16

the snowman. Do all

57:18

of the silliest things you can think of with those

57:20

two. If

57:24

that was the totally madcap

57:26

two boys on a screw-around

57:28

road trip, B

57:31

storyline to T'Paul's big

57:33

feelings torn between cultures,

57:35

A storyline, this

57:37

would have been such an amazing episode. One

57:40

of the writers of this episode joined

57:42

the production team of Mad Men working

57:45

as a producer. Wow.

57:47

What about that? Husband and

57:49

wife team. Maria and

57:51

André Jacob-Meton. Do

57:53

you want to see if there's anything French in

57:55

the priority one inbox? Plenty of

57:58

husband and wife and partner and wife. partner

58:00

teams in there all the time. Let's check

58:02

it out. Priority

58:04

one message from Starfleet coming

58:06

in on secured channel. Need

58:09

a supplemental income. Supplement income?

58:11

Supplement. Supplement. Yeah,

58:13

it's extra. By the interest alone, could be enough

58:15

to buy this ship. Adam,

58:19

we got a message here from

58:21

Maureen and it's to Henok. I

58:24

hope I'm pronouncing that correctly. Goes

58:26

like this. Happy birthday to he

58:29

who is my husband, Henok. You

58:32

are a remarkable man and Martin

58:34

and I love you in Miriam

58:36

ways. Thanks for teaching me

58:39

life hacks like how to tell time based

58:41

on which Star Trek is on H&I. I

58:45

love seeing how much joy this podcast

58:47

brings you and how much Martin laughs

58:49

when you dance to the theme songs.

58:52

Live long and prosper. H&I

58:55

is the heroes and icons channel and

58:57

the reason I know that is like

59:00

that's one of the weird cable channels where

59:03

we'll encounter sometimes H&I. I

59:06

have never encountered that particular channel. Sometimes

59:08

it'll come in over Antenna too. It's

59:10

one of those like channel 6.7. Channels

59:15

like buried in between channels. But yeah, and

59:17

that channel is great for like all

59:20

day Star Trek watching if you want. Pretty good

59:23

stuff. Well,

59:25

happy birthday, Henok. I'm sorry this is a

59:27

little bit late, but sounds

59:30

like you've got a great partner

59:32

in Maureen. Good stuff. Happy birthday.

59:35

Ben, our next message comes from

59:37

Captain Lissoto and the Death. We

59:39

know them. It is to Adam

59:41

and Ben and parentheses. It's

59:44

always been an Adam. Is it always

59:46

been an Adam? Typically people style it

59:48

Ben and Adam, but I like

59:50

both orders. It hasn't really ever mattered to

59:53

me whose name goes first, but

59:56

I appreciate the consideration. Here's the message.

59:58

We love you. Man, man, we

1:00:00

love you, man. We

1:00:05

are chilling at Quarks and relaxing all

1:00:07

cool and playing some baseball and punching

1:00:09

out Q when a couple of Cardis

1:00:13

in parentheses, they were up to no good,

1:00:15

started making trouble in my promenade.

1:00:20

I got in one little fight and

1:00:23

my pa got scared. He said, you're moving to

1:00:25

Starbase 80. Damn! Starbase

1:00:28

80! And that's when I finally got the

1:00:30

reference. Oh

1:00:35

man, that's fun. Good

1:00:37

job, Captain Lesoto and the Dith. Sorry I

1:00:39

was a little slow on the pick up

1:00:42

there. Well,

1:00:45

that was a lot of fun and if you'd like

1:00:47

to leave a message on the show,

1:00:49

you can do it by going to maximumfun.org

1:00:53

slash Jumbotron and getting one today. It's a

1:00:55

hundred bucks for a personal message and 200

1:00:58

for a commercial message and we sure

1:01:00

appreciate it. Hey Ben. What's

1:01:04

that, Al? Did you find yourself a drunk

1:01:06

Shimoda this episode? Drunk

1:01:09

Shimoda! I

1:01:11

think I'm going to have to give

1:01:13

it to Trip Tucker because like

1:01:16

cracking the Vulcan codes and then like, I just

1:01:18

feel so guilty about cracking the code. I'm going

1:01:20

to go tell her that I did it. Feels

1:01:25

like there's got to be a regulation

1:01:27

against indulging that desire. Like, I respect

1:01:29

the man for feeling like he violated

1:01:31

somebody's privacy and he needed to own

1:01:33

up to it, but when

1:01:37

your country's surveillance

1:01:41

capabilities are on the line,

1:01:44

got to be careful about how you do that, Trip.

1:01:47

Yeah, that's no good. I think

1:01:49

I want to choose Trip for

1:01:51

the same moment, but for the different

1:01:53

reason. I really was sincere about that.

1:01:55

Like, I'm all for unburdening yourself when

1:01:58

it makes sense to

1:02:00

do so when it doesn't bring

1:02:02

another person down into your misery,

1:02:05

especially. Part of

1:02:07

being in a close relationship

1:02:09

with someone is also choosing

1:02:11

the spot and sometimes

1:02:13

making a hard call, whether or not to like

1:02:15

absorb the pain of a thing yourself, because you

1:02:18

can take it or sharing that

1:02:20

burden and spreading it because it's better for you

1:02:22

both if you both go through

1:02:24

that. I just think this is one of those moments where

1:02:27

it's written this way to expedite

1:02:29

story, but not a

1:02:31

great decision either from the security

1:02:35

aspect of it or from like a

1:02:37

real life relationship aspect.

1:02:40

It was a bad choice by trip. Totally. Faith

1:02:43

of the fart. Well, uh,

1:02:45

that all being said, it's about

1:02:47

time for us to, uh, figure

1:02:51

out what's going on next week here

1:02:53

on, uh, on the show. Of course,

1:02:55

next week's episode, we will

1:02:57

be covering season one, episode nine, civilization,

1:03:01

the enterprise crew encounters

1:03:03

a pre-industrial society

1:03:05

that is afflicted with a

1:03:08

plague caused by exploitative secret

1:03:10

visitors. About that.

1:03:13

This, this sounds like it's actually

1:03:15

out of civilization, the game. Doesn't

1:03:20

interest me greatly. No kidding.

1:03:22

Um, to figure out

1:03:24

how we will be watching that, I'm

1:03:27

going to go to gach.biz slash game,

1:03:29

or we keep the game of buttholes.

1:03:33

The will of the Riker. Uh,

1:03:36

of course we roll a hundred sided

1:03:38

die on this game board, so we

1:03:40

could end up anywhere on it. You're

1:03:42

required to learn as you play. Roll.

1:03:46

Right now we're on square 83. So I'm going

1:03:48

to go ahead and roll this bone and see if anything

1:03:50

happens to us for next week.

1:03:54

Oh, I'm so excited. I

1:03:56

rolled an 80 putting us on square 90

1:03:58

for. next week. Shoola!

1:04:01

Did I win? Hardly. Well,

1:04:03

that's nothing. That's a regular old episode.

1:04:06

Sure is. How about that?

1:04:08

How about it? What a relief. We could

1:04:10

have been eating breadsticks. Or

1:04:13

cheese. Or, God,

1:04:16

any number of other things. There's kind of

1:04:18

a lot of consumption squares on

1:04:20

this thing. This is not distribution, this

1:04:22

is consumption. I like those squares. Yeah.

1:04:26

Well, we'll hit one eventually. Not next time, though.

1:04:28

No. Next time is a regular

1:04:30

old episode. Thanks to

1:04:33

everybody who supports the

1:04:35

show at maximumfun.org/join. Lots

1:04:38

of great reasons to do so. Chief

1:04:40

among which is making sure

1:04:42

a thing you really like gets to stick around for

1:04:45

a long time. But also

1:04:47

you get tons of bonus content behind the paywall.

1:04:50

We are always adding new stuff to

1:04:52

that. And, boy, we've got so much

1:04:55

fun bonus content on the website planned

1:04:57

for the next few months. Yeah.

1:05:00

Get back there, check it out. You get a lot

1:05:02

for supporting the show. It's not just throwing

1:05:05

it down a crater that

1:05:07

you just blew up next to a snowman. And

1:05:10

almost nobody breaks their leg supporting our show.

1:05:13

It happened one time. Jeez.

1:05:17

We're still in litigation, we can't talk about it.

1:05:21

Yeah, we've been asked by our attorney. Hey,

1:05:23

speaking of people who are at risk of

1:05:25

breaking their legs, our

1:05:27

roller derby hero, producer

1:05:30

and editor, Wendy Pretty, deserves a

1:05:32

thanks. Wendy's doling out the leg

1:05:34

breaks. That's what I think. Yeah.

1:05:37

No one's gonna break her legs. Yeah, she's

1:05:40

probably gonna break our legs. We

1:05:42

could go much longer on this episode. We

1:05:45

gotta thank Adam Ragusea for making

1:05:47

our parody theme song. And,

1:05:50

of course, Diane Warren who wrote the original.

1:05:53

And Dark Materia who wrote the

1:05:55

original Picard song that you hear

1:05:58

under our voices right now. Gotta

1:06:00

thank Rob Adler who runs our

1:06:02

social media accounts, and Bill Tilly,

1:06:04

our temporal cold war time consigliere.

1:06:07

You love a ton. He's back making

1:06:10

playing cards about

1:06:12

every episode. Check out our socials to

1:06:15

get a look at those. They

1:06:17

still hit. They still make me laugh every

1:06:19

time I look at them. Bill took

1:06:21

a long time away from these and

1:06:23

he's come back to them like he

1:06:26

never left. It's amazing. It's

1:06:28

like riding a bike for him. It's great. Good

1:06:30

job by him. With

1:06:32

that, we will be back at you next

1:06:35

week with another great episode of Star

1:06:38

Trek Enterprise and an episode of

1:06:40

the Greatest Generation Enterprise where I

1:06:43

start to suspect that I've had

1:06:45

my health get adversely afflicted by

1:06:47

an exploitative secret visitor.

1:06:50

Because like, what the fuck, man?

1:06:53

Yeah, I mean, I would guess that at

1:06:56

this point. It's just

1:06:58

week after week, month after

1:07:00

month, hoof after hoof with

1:07:03

you over there. I keep texting at him. Can't

1:07:05

work this week, sorry. Captain,

1:07:09

don't look at the U.S.A. It's

1:07:11

enterprise. Captain, don't look

1:07:13

at the U.S.A. It's

1:07:16

enterprise. Make it so. Make it so.

1:07:18

Make it so. Don't

1:07:21

look at the card, card, card, card.

1:07:24

Wendy, go ahead and pull this clip

1:07:26

and save it as an effect. Get

1:07:29

well soon, Ben. Ha ha ha ha ha ha

1:07:31

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

1:07:33

ha ha ha ha ha ha. Maximum Fun.

1:07:36

A worker-owned network of artist-owned

1:07:38

shows supported directly

1:07:40

by you.