0:02

Hello Guilty Feminists, This is producer Tom

0:04

Here. Deborah is in Australia at the

0:06

moment and so I'm just jumping in

0:09

to give you a few quick announcements.

0:11

Festival: If you are in Australia, Deborah's

0:13

Tore Their continues. You can see The

0:16

Guilty Feminist. Recorded live in Perth on

0:18

Monday the twentieth of May, Sydney on

0:20

Thursday The Twenty third of May, Melbourne

0:22

on Saturday Twenty Fifth of May, Brisbane,

0:25

Monday Twenty Seventh of May. And we

0:27

finish in camera on Tuesday Twenty Eighth

0:29

of May. If London

0:32

is closer to home, will be recording guilty

0:34

feminist episodes at our regular home of Kings

0:36

Place on the twelfth of June and the

0:38

fifteenth of July. And we also have a

0:41

special episode of Global Pillage the comedy panel

0:43

show where two teams are comedians take on

0:45

the hive mind of the audience. That's hosted

0:47

by Abigail I. Sherman. and it's on Monday,

0:50

the seventeenth of June. And

0:52

finally, if you're going to be at

0:54

the Edinburgh Fringe, the Guilty Feminist will

0:56

be recording three live episodes at the

0:58

Gilded Balloon at the Museum on Aug

1:00

the twelfth to the fourteenth at seven

1:02

forty Pm. For tickets and more information

1:04

about all of these, go to Guilty

1:06

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2:44

Back to part Two of the Guilty Feminist

2:46

Set Plug in and get ready for the

2:48

fun! Michelle, how is your internal know? It's terrific.

2:50

There was a really good as a We sixty seven.

2:54

Voices are they all the time I have to

2:56

of free red bull? That's right. Ideally you've been

2:58

drinking alcohol because it's my job to be a

3:00

little. Bit ahead of where you are. A

3:03

little bit salsa the news. Now we

3:05

have a very important question as a

3:07

self seeds. Sam and I'm x

3:10

come up with a name for

3:12

my phd Some yes or no.

3:16

Or yes you are the only Sam and

3:18

the front rise size of the Us citizen

3:20

of the that there was some the place

3:22

at the back of weather was say know

3:25

some. People. Sign I. I

3:30

was a piece is

3:32

insane. I

3:38

would say to me but like

3:40

other things are. Gonna say the knowledge

3:42

So like it's some I never was. I sought

3:44

me out of the slip into this position. Like

3:48

the same nice doesn't a site where

3:50

they had to find M C a

3:52

platter, right? So yeah, say what? I'm

3:54

saying is. Here right? So.

3:58

Oh. Liquid

4:00

since or you know her was, I'm not

4:02

saying I knew it was saying that case

4:04

saying yes or no Stray off. did you

4:07

come up with a name for. My

4:09

a hypothetical Phd. Alex

4:13

is stressing about Alex a cable. Getting it

4:15

was yes yes yes. Give Onyx them I

4:17

can lie down and friends Is he. Was

4:21

so. High I

4:23

think I'll need take a picture.

4:25

This is my skirt edwards that

4:28

I can. Limpid

4:31

know I'm. Right

4:37

here. Is a summary yes

4:39

with says how it's absolutely not

4:42

and not this is may I

4:44

bought tickets are deeper Fathers' Rights

4:46

Honorary doctorate so threat for thesis

4:48

untitled. Sick. Cause

4:51

miss Conservation prioritizing.

4:54

Air Space Race in the Ozark

4:56

Century Access. To

5:06

me, this is. Not

5:08

as and Rose hangs. Absolutely amazing, Absolutely amazing

5:11

up up for the defense or six or

5:13

you can I ask addicts are you will

5:15

be great country from what I saw you

5:17

what you need a word to his songs,

5:20

even the new ones singing along to even

5:22

things. Up Absolutely. And. I

5:25

am not that I'm spying on audience and

5:27

is that some plus I don't normally other

5:29

out of some of be able to thing

5:31

newer have never I saw the says because

5:33

I want to beloved video because my social

5:36

media manager was like can you send me

5:38

something I can make a real ounces so

5:40

now I'm crossing in a corner of my

5:42

own states filming my own accident amis away

5:44

and I this i think it's not a

5:46

few and like a new little I'm know

5:48

what to say really for your as at

5:50

our little dull on the side of the

5:53

stays. In

5:55

cause. You have us. From

5:58

having a day on the back healthy. Like

6:00

Hell Alone dolls to secure the cause,

6:02

the deaths of right or and inanity

6:05

they theory on the side of the

6:07

say. The Wrong about

6:09

com or not. Realize that with

6:11

Iraq, how am I to see my function of the

6:13

guilty feminists? the naughty dog at the back to the

6:16

car. And I

6:18

say I sat when have neither for and

6:20

I realized system. Citizen

6:24

on virtual. Did anybody me Sunday one

6:26

of the interval to settle. Did anyone

6:28

see any mom they didn't know was

6:30

here but they recognized diversity? Yes yes

6:32

it's it's who. Who did you see

6:34

that you want expected to see. You

6:38

just have to have your users absolutely.

6:41

Cecil. Three Francis it's of real. I

6:43

think it's the social events as a

6:45

year the gills summers in Oakland. Feminists

6:47

I think people com and they go

6:49

we know where he their bubble I

6:52

think we need a society photographer other

6:54

from blacks have to have a feminist

6:56

society pages not seem and us one

6:58

know says i feminists vote here knows

7:00

this face up You agree? Yeah I

7:02

think we should have. I'm upset anyone

7:04

Me any one they didn't already know

7:06

and go into some kind of common

7:08

with them. I like this. I love

7:11

with husband. When you know people meet

7:13

each other. I loved haven't signed salons her

7:15

at least her of them and we. Are

7:19

he needs his as close as we please

7:21

help us census him I still have of

7:23

articles ever What's up for the named the

7:25

Something Something Coven and that's when a bunch

7:27

of women and or people of minorities and

7:29

as come together and ends up plan. One.

7:32

No one is. so what? we're planning

7:34

about This for a plan? yes, but

7:37

it's essentially thing as he sat. Absolutely.

7:39

facility. That's what we're that encrypted souls.

7:43

Say well as you leaving his night

7:46

trying to meet somebody else and says

7:48

in over said was assault some kind

7:50

of many Calvin some risks, three friends.

7:53

I don't think I've got three friends.

7:55

Three frames. Yeah,

7:58

you decide, man. Alright,

8:01

it's time to get a guest on but before that, have

8:03

you got anything feminist that you would like to tell

8:05

us about that's coming up? Oh I do. Gosh, there

8:07

was a moment where I went, I don't know what

8:09

you mean. Yes I do. I have

8:13

been producing a show since 2016 called Feminist

8:15

are Funny. And

8:17

we're doing another one this year on the

8:20

9th of June. It's a fundraiser for

8:22

the Auckland Women's Centre. Which

8:25

is the most amazing place

8:27

where women can go for

8:29

legal advice and workshops and

8:32

all kinds of support and counselling and they're just

8:34

the finest place in the world and they don't

8:36

get any government funding anymore. So we try

8:38

and raise the money for that. So 9th

8:41

of June at the class at 7pm it's a Sunday,

8:43

we'll get you home in time so you know getting

8:45

the kids off to school in the morning if you're

8:48

young children. Anyway, so

8:50

please do buy a ticket for that. Excellent.

8:53

Feminists are funny. Give it a

8:55

Google, buy a ticket. Buy a ticket for a friend

8:57

for a present. Buy a ticket

8:59

for everyone for Christmas. You have to buy

9:01

4 tickets because you've got 3 friends. Excellent.

9:05

Shane, this is something you could do for feminism.

9:09

What have you done for feminism? How have

9:11

you carbon offset working in defence lately? You

9:15

need to buy all of the tickets

9:18

and then give them to people. Don't buy them all

9:20

and then not show up because that's what trolls

9:23

do. Buy them all and

9:25

distribute them, Shane. Be

9:28

great. Apart from anything else, you outsourced the

9:30

labour of coming up with the name of my PhD

9:32

to Alex. You went, no I didn't.

9:34

She was really stressing about it. I just watched. What he said. That's

9:37

what he said. Alright, is

9:40

it time for our guest? Yes, I'd

9:42

love that. Or

9:53

feel free to busk and fill in the silence while I'm trying

9:55

to make a clipboard. somebody

10:00

you've already met tonight, she grew

10:02

up without electricity on a primitive hippie commune. That's

10:04

what it says here, I'm not saying that about

10:06

her. She

10:08

asked me to say that, that's on the clipboard. Formed

10:11

after the 1973 Aquarius Festival in

10:14

Nimby in Australia. Do

10:16

you know a Nimby? Is it famous here? I grew

10:18

up near there so I know it very well. She

10:20

now calls Queenstown and New Zealand home. You've

10:22

already heard some of her poetry tonight based

10:25

on a real reader story which

10:28

she has published under the title of the

10:30

Herstory Project. Please welcome

10:33

to the stage the incredible Julia

10:35

Strelow. Come

10:44

take a seat, Julia. Hello ladies.

10:46

Hello. And? And

10:49

Auckland. We have a second guest today. And

10:51

Mikkoda. Our second guest is an esteemed Māori

10:54

Pacifica creative, story teller, strategist,

10:56

and writer, producer, and award-winning

10:58

journalist. She is the creator

11:00

of Nuku, a movement championing indigenous women

11:02

and reclaiming indigenous women as knowledge and

11:04

identity in the wake of colonization through

11:06

podcast, video, and live events. She

11:09

is the author of 2022 OCCUM New

11:12

Zealand Book Awards shortlisted Nuku,

11:15

Stories of 100 Indigenous Women. With

11:18

a passion for indigenous rights, knowledge, and systems,

11:21

her diverse work has spanned the topics of

11:23

land, women, cultural identity. It

11:25

has seen to receive a member of the New Zealand Order

11:27

of Merit for services to the arts in 2023, named

11:30

as New Zealand Women of Influence Arts and Culture 2022,

11:33

and won both a Qantas

11:35

Media Award as well as the

11:37

2018 New Zealand Geographic Pro Gear

11:39

For To Picture Story of the Year Award. I think

11:41

we've found the person who really needs the honorary

11:44

doctorate. And it's neither of us, babe. It's

11:46

neither of us. Can you work on that

11:48

while she's here? Yeah, no, it's neither of

11:51

us. Because this, the Photo Story of

11:53

the Year Award for her social documentary

11:55

series about the campaign to protect ancestral

11:57

lands. We should both

11:59

get. Doctor and some gifts and

12:01

for her. If we

12:03

get anything honorary now at all or

12:06

even a goodie bag at a festival. We're going

12:08

to get some her yeah goodie bags of Kianna.

12:12

We did some chips downstairs too. Yeah,

12:14

some basic things. If

12:16

she likes these shoes she should have them. Please

12:19

welcome to the stage the incredible

12:21

Kianna Matata Sipu. Wow,

12:36

so both of you are doing

12:38

incredible things with letting women take

12:40

their own narrative, their own story.

12:43

And your sort

12:45

of the embodiment of people who

12:47

are collecting stories, collating stories, platforming

12:49

women's stories. It's really impressive what

12:51

you're both doing and you're

12:53

both pretty local. You're just here doing

12:56

your thing. Well,

12:58

I'm on the other side of the bridge.

13:02

Yeah, very local. Kianna's been very clear about

13:04

that. She was like, I don't think there'll

13:06

be many people from my area here. And

13:08

I said no. I said, people come from

13:10

all over Auckland. She went, no, they

13:12

won't cross the bridge, she said. I

13:14

said, even for feminism and she went,

13:17

no. Let's

13:19

hang up. Manghari represents. Look,

13:22

here they are. They come over the bridge for

13:25

you. Have you come over the bridge

13:27

for Kianna or for Guildford? There's

13:30

somebody who's come over the bridge for you. You didn't

13:32

think it was possible. Thank

13:34

you. They've

13:37

traveled. They've absolutely traveled. Would you come

13:39

over the bridge for anything else? This

13:41

is the first time you've been over the bridge in years. Since

13:44

the last time we were at the Bruce

13:46

Mason. Yeah, that's been confirmed. I

13:50

do feel the Bruce Mason on our nights should

13:52

slightly just change its name. Who was Bruce Mason?

13:55

He's a playwright. He wrote The End of the

13:57

Golden Weather, which is a beautiful New Zealand play

13:59

set on the... It's just on the

14:01

other side of this building. Oh, not on

14:03

the other side of the bridge. No, on this side.

14:05

This side of the bridge. Yeah, he's a

14:08

North Shore guy. Yeah. Is he a North

14:10

Shore white guy? Yeah, definitely. Yeah, absolutely. There's

14:12

a building named after him. Yeah, he's a

14:14

North Shore white guy. Yeah, absolutely. But

14:19

listen, we know that the stories that

14:21

are traditionally told and buildings are named after,

14:24

tend not to be a Maude

14:26

and Pacifica women. So is

14:29

this what inspired you to start Nuku?

14:33

Was that something that inspired you that you felt these stories

14:35

weren't being told? Just being sick

14:37

of white guys? Yep. I

14:39

mean, but just sort of

14:41

needing a platform and a

14:43

space more. Yeah, most definitely.

14:46

When we look at the

14:48

narratives that are in our society at the moment,

14:50

when we look at who's on TV, although we

14:52

do have some beautiful brown women on TV these

14:54

days, when we think

14:57

about who on Waitangi Day, they asked for

14:59

an opinion and it's, don't

15:02

brash sometimes often, another white

15:04

guy, a bit closer to this side

15:06

of Auckland. And

15:10

I was over it and I wanted

15:12

to amplify the voices of our Kakaas

15:14

indigenous Wauhenia doing things differently because why

15:16

not? We're amazing. Can

15:23

I ask one question? Because Nuku is

15:25

the most beautiful book, a hundred women's

15:27

stories in there, and you've done the

15:29

photographs as well as the words, and

15:32

it's just stunning. What

15:34

do you have to do? I mean, some

15:36

of those stories are about trauma. What can

15:38

you do to make

15:40

the storytelling safe for

15:42

the women? So it's not about re-experiencing

15:45

the trauma that they're talking about. One

15:49

Of the things that I've been adamant

15:51

about through the entire Kopa of Nuku,

15:53

through the entire project, is story sovereignty

15:55

and ensuring that those women feel safe

15:58

to share their stories their way. Way

16:00

and a roast phone and then not

16:02

going to be censored. The not going

16:05

to be told what they can or

16:07

can't sail. You know how many folks

16:09

they gonna add into the conversation some

16:12

and that his release. So I'm the

16:14

power of what when you give someone

16:16

story sovereignty, how they didn't use it

16:19

and what they can then say about

16:21

it in the Cs within. Really lucky

16:23

to start a research project that looks

16:26

at how when you put the right

16:28

environment around indigenous woman so. They are

16:30

able to see these stories in a

16:32

way that but some ceilings of them

16:35

but also feeling for others and with

16:37

sound that through the know crew project

16:39

where people message and say you know

16:42

this person's story saved my life as

16:44

to censor his changed my life as

16:46

prison story has inspired me to. Do.

16:49

All of these other things and

16:51

it's really special when he gets

16:53

a saucer. An environment like this.

16:55

Mom. Can you tell

16:58

us about the focus of nuclear?

17:00

The sheer. It's

17:02

a research projects looking at how the

17:04

nurses vintages, women that sucked translates into

17:06

ceilinged. Can you tell us a little

17:08

bit about Mother More about them? The

17:11

Up So that kapoor the word as

17:13

Room Was aims often. when we think

17:15

of the Widow More and a New

17:17

Zealand outfit or concepts we think of

17:19

plant medicine. But it's zero more is

17:22

this conversation at. At such

17:24

as hugging and and was that

17:26

can attach to success. But

17:28

it's also all of the

17:30

things that makes a sealed

17:32

whole and am now was

17:34

a whoa I sound three

17:36

new crew is that so

17:39

many woman my age old

17:41

are they may I? My

17:43

mother is number one hundred

17:45

am especially indigenous woman that

17:47

lives and a colonize world

17:49

where western values are prioritized.

17:51

They. Suffer from not.

17:53

enough ness i think lots of woman regardless

17:55

of your a snake by crumbs off of

17:57

their of i'm not a nice There's

18:00

the intergenerational trauma that comes with that.

18:02

There's the loss of identity around

18:04

language. And when

18:07

we look at how our narratives

18:09

and the kinds of stories and

18:12

experiences we're sharing can actually help

18:14

someone through that, that's

18:17

really powerful. Inspiring

18:19

people to go back to school to learn

18:21

their language. Inspiring

18:23

women or motivating women to

18:25

understand their tikunga, their practices,

18:28

their indigenous knowledge and systems,

18:30

and the importance of those

18:32

in this world because they've

18:34

been squashed for so long.

18:36

So, resurging that, amplifying that, promoting

18:38

that, championing that, and

18:41

unapologetically throwing it in the face of anybody

18:43

else so that we can grow

18:46

an army of kakas women who are

18:48

empowered to be who they are and

18:50

are healed. So that our kamara ke

18:52

na mukupuna, our children and grandchildren can

18:55

grow up. Like

18:57

my child, who is

18:59

kicking doors down at six years old because

19:01

she's so empowered in her identity as an

19:04

indigenous woman. You

19:12

told us backstage about the origin of

19:16

your daughter's name and I don't

19:18

know if that's maybe something you wanted, I don't know, didn't ask you

19:21

if it was okay to talk about on the stage. But

19:24

I really loved what you said about it

19:27

and about not making it easy for

19:29

other people. Can you just tell us

19:31

about your daughter's name? Yeah, so her

19:33

first name is Hayata te kapua. It's

19:36

three words. People stumble

19:38

over it every single time. And

19:41

in English it translates

19:43

to, it comes from

19:45

a longer sentence which is kapita maita hayata

19:47

kinga kapua podi, which is the beam of

19:49

light that broke through the clouds of darkness.

19:53

My husband and I were together 14 years,

19:55

had gone through six years of infertility and

19:59

then this trial. was born

20:01

miraculously and was also born a year

20:03

after my Nana died. So that name

20:05

is significant. It's a really

20:07

significant moment in our life and her

20:09

life and it's

20:11

also after two matriarchs in

20:14

our whanau. So we don't

20:16

shorten her name and people come up to her and

20:18

they say, what's your name? And she says, Hayatatakatwa. And

20:20

they say, what do your parents call you? And she goes, Hayatatakatwa.

20:25

And what's your nickname? And then she

20:27

rattles off her entire name which only

20:30

just sits on her passport because

20:32

it is six words. And I won't say it because

20:35

I won't give

20:41

you the whole name. But it's

20:44

powerful. It's powerful to give your

20:46

children names that reflect

20:48

their identity, their fakapapa. There's

20:51

this beautiful mari musician called

20:53

Maisidika who has a wayata

20:55

with the lyrics. I

20:58

give you a name of your tsupuna, of your

21:00

ancestor so you will know who you are.

21:02

I give you the name of

21:05

your pepeha which is how you

21:07

connect to the land so you'll always

21:09

know where you're from. And I love

21:12

that people have to stumble

21:14

over my daughter's name because it forces

21:16

them to learn what that

21:18

name is, and

21:21

we will never apologize or shorten it

21:23

to make it feel better in someone

21:25

else's mouth. I

21:31

really love that. I love how poetical

21:34

it is. It's so poetical. That

21:36

rootedness to ancestry, to

21:38

the land, to community.

21:41

There are so many values sitting in

21:43

what you're doing in her name.

21:46

And the way

21:48

you described her backstage as well, you said she

21:50

really knows who she is and she's very rooted

21:54

and connected and therefore

21:57

able to kind of fly. And I think that's

21:59

an example. The ordinary things and I

22:01

love that valley sense. I really

22:03

really love that for the set

22:05

it feels so as you said

22:07

like a just. All women

22:09

can learn from an done

22:12

not worrying about the inconveniencing.

22:14

Someone else or not being enough for somebody else

22:16

or making yourself smaller. So interesting I say what's

22:18

your what are your parents put? your what's your

22:20

nickname is basically saying how can you make yourself

22:22

smaller how to make us of sorta for us

22:25

how to make it out as a new makes

22:27

use of easier for me. And the answer. Is

22:29

I com and I weren't so

22:31

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22:33

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22:36

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Mobile. Hello, it's Abigail I.

24:21

I'm Shimon, host of Global Pillage and

24:23

we have another great show coming to

24:25

you. June 17th, 7.30pm at King's

24:27

Place. We

24:30

have a fabulous lineup of comedy

24:32

panelists. But we need you, the

24:34

hive mind, the audience, so get

24:36

tickets at kingsplace.co.uk. Come

24:40

see Global Pillage. It's like a comedy

24:42

panel show on TV, but we let

24:44

women play. Take

24:47

a second and think back to the sex education you

24:49

had in school. Did it prepare you

24:52

to have a healthy and happy

24:54

relationship with sex and identity? If

24:56

it was anything like mine, it

24:58

was stigmatizing, judgmental, and totally unhelpful.

25:01

But not to worry, the experts are

25:03

here to offer the sex ed we wish we had.

25:06

Welcome to Sex Ed with DB. We're a

25:08

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25:10

the sex ed you never got through

25:12

unique and entertaining storytelling,

25:14

centering LGBTQ and BIPOC

25:17

experts. We cover an

25:19

array of sex education topics

25:21

like abortion, period management, sex

25:23

and disability, pleasure, reproductive justice,

25:26

healthy relationships, BDSM, birth control,

25:28

sex in the media, and

25:30

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25:33

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25:35

pleasure-centered, medically accurate sex education.

25:38

Follow along with us as we revolutionize the way

25:40

we talk about sex and tune into Sex

25:42

Ed with DB wherever you get your podcasts. How

26:00

does telling your stories

26:02

and poetry heal you

26:05

and how has your work grown as you've grown?

26:09

Yeah, so I grew up

26:12

with a mother who was a poet. She

26:16

was a slam poet and she used to drive

26:18

us around in her old 70s

26:20

Ford Falcon and me and my sister would sleep in the back

26:23

while she did slam poetry. And

26:25

as Deborah said, we didn't have

26:28

electricity and barely had walls. We

26:30

didn't have running hot water on the communes, so we didn't have

26:32

much. And I used to always be

26:34

like, I will never be a poet. I don't need to

26:37

say it to mum, I'll never be, I never wanna be

26:39

a poet like you because I associated,

26:41

I thought I wasn't gonna have walls if I was

26:43

a poet. Fair.

26:46

Just me. Yeah, it

26:48

actually is, actually a fair point. But

26:52

I guess it was just in me and

26:57

about over 10 years ago now, I

26:59

was noticing this

27:01

rise of male Instagram

27:04

poets and they were

27:06

really popular from

27:08

telling women, giving

27:10

women romantic advice. And

27:13

I thought, surely, surely as a

27:15

woman, I can do this

27:17

better. How did it feel

27:19

when you couldn't? I

27:21

mean, subjectively

27:23

I can, but you know, some

27:26

of them are probably doing better than me.

27:29

I obviously am joking, go on. I

27:33

have walled guys, so. I

27:36

mean, surprise. I've made it as a poet. But

27:41

when I did first start posting on Instagram,

27:43

I actually didn't post advice. At

27:46

that point, I just come out of an abusive

27:49

relationship and I had my jaw broke

27:52

about my partner, actually. Oh my God. But

27:55

the crazy thing was, I

27:57

still thought I was in love with him. So

27:59

I actually. I also use the Instagram as

28:01

many domestic violence survivors

28:04

have go through similar things. So

28:07

I use the Instagram as this outlet to

28:09

post poems about unrequited love and toxic love,

28:11

which I'm quite ashamed of now, but

28:14

turns out that heaps of people related and

28:16

my following grew. And

28:19

as I grew, my poetry changed

28:22

and I wrote about healing as I healed

28:24

and I wrote about empowerment and female empowerment

28:27

and I experienced those things. And

28:30

that's where I am now. Yeah. And

28:38

we've heard some of your poems. Now, when

28:40

people submit stories, they know you're gonna turn

28:43

it into a poem. And

28:45

are they doing that because they wanna privately

28:47

submit a story and see it become a

28:49

poem that's released into society

28:51

so other people can glean something from it,

28:53

but they don't actually necessarily

28:55

feel they wanna make art out of their

28:57

trauma or they're not an artist or they

28:59

wanna remain anonymous. What's that interaction

29:02

like? Yeah, so in her

29:04

story, some of them did remain anonymous, but

29:06

her story was just a one-off. It was

29:08

after COVID and I just had this spontaneous

29:10

idea. I do have ADHD and anyone else

29:12

who has it will know that you have

29:14

these ideas. You're like, I'm gonna do it.

29:17

And I did it. I find it very difficult to relate

29:21

to having too many ideas and then not enough

29:23

time and over-committing to them and then saying, yeah, sure.

29:27

I will tell you that I have a book, the

29:29

revisions of my book due in tomorrow,

29:33

but I forgot I was on New Zealand time.

29:35

So I will be working all night tonight and

29:38

I will be flying to Wellington in the morning. It'll be fine.

29:41

I'll be running on adrenaline. Tell

29:43

your friends to come to Wellington. It'll be a writer show. I

29:48

feel yeah. So with

29:50

the ADHD, you took on this big

29:53

job of compiling other

29:55

people's stories that they needed to

29:57

get out and turning them into art. So

30:00

I noticed that women would message

30:02

me a lot of the time and they'd say that my words

30:04

gave them some form of healing. So

30:07

I had a woman in Afghanistan once message

30:09

me and tell me my poetry was getting

30:11

her through the war. And

30:13

women, I thought this was crazy,

30:15

I was crazy, and women in

30:17

Italy during COVID or a woman

30:19

tell me my poetry was getting

30:21

her through the COVID lockdown. So this

30:23

kind of stuff, I was like, how

30:26

could I give back more to my audience

30:28

on a larger scale? And that was when

30:30

I had the ADHD idea. And

30:33

I put a call out on my Instagram and

30:35

I said, I'd

30:38

love to turn your stories into poems

30:40

if you've experienced trauma or

30:43

found healing or heartbreak and would like to

30:45

share it and have it turned into a

30:47

poem, send me a DM or

30:49

an email. And by the

30:51

next day's cutoff, I had over 200 stories. And

30:56

yeah, and then I was like, shit. I'm

30:59

gonna turn these all into poems. And

31:03

it was really tough to be

31:05

honest, because as you heard some

31:07

of the poems, these women had

31:09

experienced a range of traumas. There

31:12

was physical abuse, sexual assault, miscarriages,

31:14

suicides. And

31:17

to write poetry, I had to try and

31:19

feel what they might've felt. Yeah.

31:24

How do you protect yourself from that? I mean,

31:26

how do you- I was on the ground crying.

31:29

I was on the floor crying. Even when

31:31

I practiced reading some of those poems, I

31:33

almost cried reading them because I was trying

31:36

to imagine what that woman might've felt. But

31:38

by the time I stood up for you guys, I'd

31:40

managed to shut that off because we couldn't have been

31:43

crying. You told me just before the show,

31:45

you'd never performed your poetry before. That's the

31:47

first time tonight she'd ever performed it. Isn't

31:49

that incredible? Listen,

31:53

you say, you promised, as a

31:55

child, you'd never be a slam

31:57

poet, but slam poetry found you. I know, it's

31:59

ironic. Yeah, but you should perform

32:01

it. You're a fantastic performer. Thank you.

32:04

It's in my blood. Yeah Your

32:06

mum is really very proud of you doing that. She's

32:09

also an ardent feminist. So oh, yeah, well

32:11

she you must send her this episode Does

32:14

she still have a nimbin? She's still the nimbin.

32:16

She lives in the car me and she still lives in the

32:18

house without electricity So she probably doesn't

32:20

listen to the cootie feminists. Oh,

32:22

she doesn't have any lecture. I can't even call her Yeah,

32:26

yeah, okay. Yeah Yeah She's

32:29

probably happier than any of us. Let's be honest.

32:32

She's just no electricity. No Wi-Fi. Can you imagine?

32:34

I mean, it would be amazing

32:36

and also terrible, but I I I

32:39

can't decide what it would be But

32:42

I found it interesting that you say that women

32:44

were icing in and saying you were getting them

32:46

through You know traumatic things which

32:48

really brings me back to what

32:51

we were talking about before Kiani

32:54

With you. How do the narratives

32:56

of indigenous women? That

32:58

you know you're compiling and your platforming today

33:00

add to our personal and collective well-being in

33:03

the same way that you're hearing that

33:05

Julia's poetry and sharing

33:07

of women's stories do Yeah,

33:10

of course. I think just

33:12

woman in general when we share with each

33:15

other we realize we're not alone and So

33:18

our lived experiences become

33:21

Part of our collective well-being in

33:23

the sharing of those lived experiences.

33:25

I think a lot of people

33:27

maybe see successful woman

33:29

or famous woman and

33:32

think that they haven't experienced

33:34

something that they have And

33:36

when they find out they do there's a

33:39

switch that changes inside of them It's

33:42

so important to share. It's

33:44

so important to talk about

33:47

miscarriage and suicide and Infertility

33:51

and all of these things that are apparently taboo

33:53

and we're not allowed to talk about it No, why

33:55

cuz men find it gross fuck

33:57

them But you know like

34:00

these... Thank you. Sorry

34:03

Shane. Not

34:06

all men, not all men. I'm sure Shane doesn't feel like

34:08

that. You don't feel like that, do you Shane? No.

34:12

And if you do, you're wise enough to

34:14

say no. So that's the same. But

34:17

you know it is so much about it

34:19

and it's intergenerational wisdom and sharing. You know

34:21

so often I grew up with my grandmother. So I

34:23

grew up, I was really privileged, I had my grandmother,

34:25

I had my mother. You know

34:27

I didn't grow up in a commune but it probably

34:29

felt like a commune. I grew up in a papakanga

34:32

where we're all related and live in the same street.

34:34

Same same. Except we have electricity. And

34:39

you know just that intergenerational wisdom is

34:41

so important to your well being. Sitting

34:43

around having a cup of tea and

34:45

a conversation about the real world and

34:47

not looking at your phone and having

34:50

FOMO because someone else has got a nicer

34:52

dinner than you. Good

34:55

likes. Your mum doesn't have any FOMO you know. But

34:58

these things are really... They're

35:01

the tools of well being that we've just

35:03

forgotten about. Yeah.

35:05

We're sitting on our phone going, oh I've

35:07

got to follow this well being. Instagram, get

35:09

card, dog. I really need some help here.

35:13

There's this car map. There's all of these things

35:15

that are kind of here. And there's our partner

35:17

or our mum or our granny or our sister,

35:19

our neighbour who we haven't got to know. Or

35:22

somebody we met here at the show that

35:25

we haven't bothered contacting and getting together

35:27

with. And actually well being is in connection.

35:30

And the disconnection and the kind of

35:32

faux connection. That's not to say your

35:34

Instagram account has helped people. This

35:38

is a podcast. That's on the internet. So it's

35:40

not to say it can't help us. It can.

35:42

But if we stay with that and we don't

35:44

leave it and then connect in the real world.

35:48

Because what the patriarchy wants more

35:50

than anything is isolation. Right? That's

35:52

the whole way that the patriarchy

35:54

manages to operate is to separate

35:57

Women and gender minorities from the rest of

35:59

the world. the world to keep your i'm

36:01

keep you away stop you from can meet

36:04

same with each other and telling each other

36:06

your stories and am organizing the revolution to

36:08

overthrow them and I have. Some

36:11

degree of violence? I don't mind as.

36:16

The ask you to the A

36:19

since her story. He's spoken publicly

36:21

about your experiences with domestic violence

36:23

and new founded the Inspirational Women

36:25

Awards which is events designed to

36:27

empower be Zealand Squash. In a

36:29

while raising awareness around domestic violence.

36:31

And you talk a little bit about wouldn't buy this

36:33

event and what's come out of it. Sure

36:37

ah the first saying that spot

36:39

it when. When. I was

36:41

growing up. I was obsessed with Tenzin

36:43

Tonight into this. Fill getting.

36:46

Say hey the comic books

36:49

by so. And so on

36:51

the set like so I'm very

36:53

similar to show yeah same here

36:55

This. Same.

36:59

As soon as saying. Or

37:02

name. Calling

37:05

and sam no sign his

37:08

come in here is a

37:10

former is trying his best

37:12

as I actually really wanna

37:14

know what sir. Indigenous nice.

37:17

How do I think of it legally on a

37:19

Am. Wingspan? I signed. Up

37:23

and a Kaiser by one cent. Rye

37:25

or him said areas like science and

37:27

my mother saw that I was idolizing

37:29

Ten Ten who was a man and

37:31

as I said she was modern feminists

37:34

and she saw her daughter idolizing a

37:36

man. I know Sakara a man to

37:38

say science and. She wasn't happy

37:40

because you are made. Of female role models.

37:42

So she went as far as to

37:44

read a sightseeing and one of the

37:46

comic book sweats Hinton confesses. His greatest

37:49

disguise? His really a woman.

37:52

Excessive. amounts about to fill

37:55

me in on this little says i went around

37:57

through my last telling everyone all you know it's

37:59

and his really you know that scene when

38:01

he tells Captain Haddock, like, do you know that one?

38:04

Turns out, no one knew. Years

38:08

later I learned the truth and

38:10

I was devastated but I suppose

38:12

I should be grateful because empowering

38:14

female leaders, female wahini, sorry, wahini

38:16

became important to me and

38:19

that is the first reason that inspired

38:21

the Inspirational Woman Awards, is this instilled

38:23

need for a woman. What's your mother gassed at

38:26

you about 10-10? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

38:29

I get that, I totally get that. I sort of

38:31

think, you know, I know lots of people that alter

38:34

their children's books or they change the

38:36

pronouns when they're reading to small books, to small

38:38

children it's like, and they, you know,

38:40

the book says the chicken did this and he

38:42

or the dog did this and he and then

38:44

they're like, well firstly, a chicken is pretty much

38:46

always a she and secondly, this dog, why does

38:48

the dog always have to be a boy? And

38:50

they just alter things. I've never heard of anybody

38:52

like drawing tint in and

38:55

then slipping it into the book but

38:57

I admire her. She

38:59

was reading the book so I wasn't actually

39:01

looking at it. Oh, I see. I

39:03

thought it was the Red Sea Sharks, if you know tint in,

39:06

you'll know that book. But

39:08

the second reason why I started this event is

39:10

much more somber. It's

39:14

the devastating statistics around domestic

39:16

violence that darken our beautiful

39:18

country and the world. For

39:21

those of you who don't know, one

39:24

in three New Zealand women have experienced

39:26

domestic violence and police respond to a

39:28

domestic violence call here on average every

39:30

three minutes. You may

39:32

have seen in the Australian news that

39:34

35 women were

39:37

killed in the

39:39

last year by their intimate or previously intimate

39:41

partner. And this is not just Australia and

39:43

New Zealand because I know you've got a global audience. This

39:45

is globally, 40% of

39:47

female murders are committed

39:49

by their previous

39:52

or currently intimate partner. And I've found myself

39:54

in three abusive relationships in my life one

39:56

after the other, bang, bang, bang. When

40:00

I came out of all of that, went through my

40:02

healing process, through my poetry, I

40:05

felt like I needed to do more.

40:08

I did the Herstory book. I donate

40:10

10% of all of my profits to the

40:12

women's refuge from those books that I sell. But

40:14

I felt like that wasn't enough. So, now that

40:16

ADHD thing, whoo! I

40:20

emailed the women's refuge and said, hey, I've got

40:22

this idea. It was probably like 8 o'clock at

40:24

night. I was like, I

40:26

want to do this event, the Inspirational

40:28

Women Awards. Can I work with

40:31

you and do an option and give all the money

40:33

to you guys? Then they emailed back

40:35

and said, let's have a zoom. Again, I

40:37

was like, oh shit. I

40:40

felt physically ill with nerves.

40:43

It's now in its third year.

40:45

It started in Queenstown. It's now

40:48

national. Thank you.

40:51

So far we've raised $50,000 for the women's refuge. I

40:55

hope that after this year's event we can

40:57

raise more. Wonderful. Do you need any help

40:59

with that? Or is there anything

41:01

else you'd like our audience to get involved with? Send

41:04

you, raise for you, connect with you.

41:07

I'll tell you what you can do. You

41:09

can nominate an Inspirational Waihenia if you know

41:11

one. I'm sure that all of you are

41:13

one or no one. Who's

41:16

an Inspirational Waihenia in here? Look,

41:20

typical. Who knows an

41:22

Inspirational Waihenia? Who

41:26

knows an Inspirational Woman? So

41:30

you can nominate an Inspirational

41:32

Waihenia or you can buy tickets. It is

41:34

in Queenstown so you would have to travel

41:36

to Queenstown. It's worth it to domestic pilots.

41:39

Yuck. No one wants

41:41

to go to Queenstown. Yuck. That's

41:44

actually quite lovely. So

41:46

you can nominate somebody. You can nominate and then

41:49

if you do buy a ticket and come to

41:51

the event. And could you also

41:53

donate an auction lot so that you can raise money

41:55

for the refuge? Yes. So we've got

41:57

some cool prizes. We've got a jersey signed by

41:59

Richie McCall. we're going to option off. We've

42:01

got a picture of Patty Gower that

42:03

says this is the fucking news the

42:05

women's refuge. Yeah, Patty. Okay,

42:08

so if you've got anything to donate or you would

42:10

like to bid in the auction or you'd like to

42:13

nominate somebody for these awards, then

42:16

please, where do we go? What's the URL? www.inspirationalwomenawards.org.

42:23

inspirationalwomenawards.org. So

42:27

connect in with that and somehow

42:29

or other get involved. Can

42:32

I ask you, Kianne, what is

42:35

it that we can do for you? You

42:39

just give me money. Shane,

42:46

you must get paid quite a bit. You put

42:49

something on Mars, so I can't

42:52

imagine they don't pay you for that. I

42:54

feel like Kianne could use some of that

42:56

cash and it would make you feel good.

42:58

I could do wonders with that cash. Wonders

43:00

with that cash, Shane. You heard it here.

43:03

No, I guess one of the things

43:05

is that Naku is a not-for-profit social

43:08

enterprise and everything that we do,

43:10

everything we sell,

43:12

which is sometimes not these earrings, but earrings

43:14

and books and really cool bibs

43:16

that says my mama is a Kakaas

43:18

indigenous wahine or my

43:21

nana or my whoever you want it to be, it

43:24

all gets invested back into Naku to be

43:26

able to create more and interview more people

43:28

and do live events and those sorts of

43:30

things. And this year I've started writing children's

43:32

books because as I

43:34

said, women in

43:37

their adulthood are searching for

43:39

the connection to their culture,

43:41

to knowledge and

43:43

systems. And so I thought, you know what,

43:45

let's teach our tamariki these things, let's teach our

43:47

children. And so I've got a

43:50

book coming out on the 1st of June.

43:52

It's being launched at

43:54

the Auckland Museum. What's

43:56

it called? So we can look up. It's called Na

43:59

Kupena. are Naneerina and

44:01

the English translation is called

44:04

Naneerina's Amazing Nets and

44:06

the main character is Shaya

44:08

Tati Kapua because of course

44:11

I want to normalize long

44:13

names in children's books but

44:16

it's all about Masareki so it's all about

44:18

the Maori New Year and it's about how

44:20

our stars, whichever star is

44:22

shining the brightest connects to a part of

44:24

our environment and then what kind of nets

44:26

you make to catch the food that grows

44:28

in that part of the environment to

44:30

have a ho tapu ceremony to celebrate

44:33

the New Year. So there's this layers

44:35

and layers of knowledge of mataranga in

44:37

there. You can buy it directly from

44:39

our website nukuwoman.co.nz and all of the

44:41

the profits that get made off the

44:43

kids book gets invested back in to

44:46

write more kids books so that we

44:48

can share more what I

44:50

call mataranga utu wahine which is woman's

44:52

knowledge for our children

44:54

but also for everybody because I

44:57

write them and Tiri Omori first and then I

44:59

translate them into English so you can learn Tiri Omori,

45:01

you can know mataranga mori, you can just have a

45:03

great story, you can invest

45:05

in the kopapa, there's so many

45:07

things you could do. I love

45:10

that. I'm gonna get

45:12

it in both languages. I'm

45:15

gonna get in both languages because I want to get better at

45:18

being able to pronounce words and no

45:21

more words the

45:23

more I come back to

45:25

Atiorewa and I am so

45:27

honored to have you both

45:29

on today. Could I have a big round of applause

45:32

for Julia Freilau and

45:38

can I have a big round

45:40

of applause for

45:43

Kiani, Kiani

45:47

Matapu-Tupu everybody get involved

45:50

with Nuku and

45:52

get involved with the Inspirational Women

45:54

Awards and now to

45:57

close our show please welcome back to the stage

45:59

the Incredible Grace Patrons Hello, is anybody

46:01

in line? Me

46:08

too. I

46:14

got engaged last

46:17

year. Thank

46:22

you very much. I actually got engaged one

46:25

year ago today. I

46:28

know, and I'm over here. She's

46:31

over there. So

46:33

the least I can do is sing a song about her, is

46:36

what I think. It's the funny

46:38

thing being in love. I'm

46:42

nearly 37 and I've been in love many times.

46:44

I thought I'd been in love many times before,

46:47

and then I fell in love for real. I

46:50

know the difference because I'm very

46:53

anxious. All

46:57

the time, in

46:59

a way that I never was before. I

47:02

have a lot of existential anxiety, and this

47:05

is a song about that. It's

47:08

called, If I Were to Outlive You. I

47:14

know. Please

47:26

triple check the

47:30

traffic before stepping from the

47:32

edge. Please never miss a smear test.

47:37

Please get organic veg. Please

47:43

never eat a mouthful. Please

47:50

never eat a mouthful. Something

47:54

that's expired. Please never swim in

47:58

the water. Riptides

48:01

Please never drive too tired

48:07

Please never go exploring Unstable

48:11

mountainside Or

48:16

hastily constructed Traveling

48:20

fairground rides Please

48:25

never take a plane ride Unless

48:28

I'm by your side Or

48:33

sail in stormy weather Unless

48:36

we are together Please

48:42

treat yourself with caution If fitting

48:45

what you're worth You

48:50

know beyond a question You're

48:53

the most precious thing on earth Cause

48:59

if I were to outlive you I'd

49:03

never forgive you If

49:07

I were to outlive you Then

49:11

darling take me with you

49:37

I'd never forgive you If fitting what

49:40

you're worth Cause

49:43

if I were to outlive you Then darling

49:46

take me with you I'd never

49:48

forgive you If fitting what you're worth Cause

49:51

I'm by your side Or

49:53

you're worth it live

50:03

from Bruce Mason Center. Is it Bruce Mason

50:05

Center or is it Bruce Mason Center? Just

50:09

straight into Bruce. Yeah,

50:12

we call it the BMC. So,

50:14

I'm going to say that. Just

50:16

go that

50:19

in. I'm going to say Bruce Mason. Okay,

50:21

live from Bruce. It just feels a bit.

50:24

Feels a bit. It's a bit Kiwi. It's biological, isn't it?

50:26

I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think

50:34

he went a bad way. I just mean it's a bit. It's on

50:36

brand is what I'm saying. I'm going

50:41

to go without Zuzo because that's what it's all about. The

50:45

guilty feminist is provided exclusively from

50:48

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to get started. Hello

52:04

everybody! Just a very

52:06

quick one about Instagram. If you're

52:09

on it, Meta, the

52:11

parent company, is reducing

52:13

the number of political posts visible

52:16

to users on their feed. This is

52:18

a real thing, not a hoax. So

52:21

go to your Instagram profile, tap

52:23

the three horizontal lines in

52:26

the top right corner to

52:28

open the settings tab, scroll

52:30

down to what you see, click

52:33

on content preferences, open

52:35

political content and

52:37

turn on don't limit political

52:39

content. That's an option, otherwise

52:42

you won't see almost anything we

52:44

post because we are deemed political.

52:47

Please do that now or you won't even see

52:50

the posts about our shows, our fun things.

52:53

So if you want to see guilty feminist content and know

52:55

when we're coming to a place near you, releasing

52:57

a new podcast, do it now.