2:00

And I promise you all have the wildest stories

2:02

I've ever heard in my life. I'm the new

2:04

dude at like parties, like the paramedic

2:06

like, yeah, we had to peel this guy off

2:08

the, I'm that guy now. I'm like, I just

2:10

talked to a dude that lost his hand and

2:12

he called me from the hospital with the thing,

2:14

the nub wrapped up. We're talking, I mean, talk

2:17

to a guy who just told us

2:20

that he committed insurance fraud

2:22

to fund a helicopter so he could

2:24

hover above his ex-wife's house and stalk

2:26

her. That's a true story. Anyway,

2:32

come see me on tour too. If

2:35

I'm in your town, when you're around,

2:37

tickets are on my site at ryancichler.com. All right.

2:39

It's a fun time. Come see me on the

2:41

live and alive tour. I promise you we'll have

2:43

a good time out there. All right. That's

2:46

it. Now you guys know what we

2:48

do. We highlight the low lights here and I always

2:50

say these are the stories behind the storytellers. I'm

2:52

very excited to have this guest back on

2:55

the do, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome, Chappellis. Welcome

2:58

back to the honey do. This is my third

3:00

time. It's third, right? Third time, man. We're

3:02

doing it. And we got some good

3:04

stuff to talk about. We got highlights and stuff. I feel

3:06

like we always talk about really good stuff. Yeah.

3:10

But before we do, plug everything you want, all

3:12

of it. Oh, yeah. So

3:15

I have a podcast that's, I

3:17

don't even, I don't know, like a year old maybe.

3:20

It's called Lesser Known Characters. I

3:22

do it with Joel Jimenez. We sit down. We

3:24

talk with people. We get to know people

3:27

through their musical interests basically. We

3:29

ask these like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, we got to get you

3:31

on. We got to get you on. And so basically we ask

3:33

these people a series of questions and we get to know them

3:35

through their world of music. Okay.

3:38

It's really cool. Well, one of the

3:40

questions is like first album you bought

3:43

and everyone has a story behind that.

3:46

So it's all music based, but it's really fun. And

3:48

then tour dates. Yeah, I got tour. I got,

3:51

what do I got? I got July

3:53

11th through 13th. I'll

3:55

be in Rochester at Comedy at the Carlson. Have

3:57

you done that one? No, haven't done that

3:59

one. Haven't done it either. Then July

4:02

28th, I'll be in Portland for

4:04

one night doing helium and

4:06

then going home to Arizona, August 1st

4:08

to do Tempe improv. And then August

4:10

15th through 17th, I'll

4:13

be at the DC comedy loft. So

4:15

those are my dates. All right. If

4:17

you haven't seen Chappelle's last episode,

4:19

especially go check it out because

4:22

we talked about a person

4:24

that was super influential in your life. His

4:26

name was Chip. Chip Chilton, yeah. Chip, how,

4:28

what is it? Chip Chilton. Chilton, like

4:30

the Chilton's manual. Yeah, what is it? You know

4:32

about, that's old car manual back in the day.

4:35

You say go to Chilton's, it would tell you

4:37

what it costs. And like if you were going

4:39

to buy a car before the internet, you go

4:41

to a Chilton's manual. It's almost like a Carfax?

4:43

Yeah, it was the paper book of Carfax. That's

4:45

hilarious. You go to a Chilton's manual and it

4:48

would tell you, it would also, actually

4:50

maybe I'm wrong about that. It might not

4:52

be the, though that was Kelly Blue Book.

4:54

Chilton was your actual manual for your car.

4:57

So if you were a guy, a car head

4:59

that wanted to work on your car and you

5:01

didn't want to go take it to Toyota or

5:03

whatever, you could go get a Chilton manual for

5:05

a 1981 Toyota to sell whatever, and then everything

5:07

you needed to know was available. We don't have

5:09

that nowadays. I wonder if they do. We'll have

5:11

to look it up. Anyway,

5:14

sorry. Chilton, Chilton, Chilton. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

5:17

yeah. And since

5:19

then I know that you've reconnected because he emailed,

5:21

I think, my manager

5:23

maybe, and then he sent it to

5:25

me. And I sent it to

5:27

you. Yes. And just

5:29

real quick, if I remember too, I

5:33

don't think you reached out right away. And

5:36

then when I saw you at

5:38

the store, you're like, I have to fucking tell

5:40

you, I gotta hold a chip. And

5:43

we only talked for like 10 seconds because

5:46

I think we were on the stairs of the OR if I remember

5:48

right. I think you were going to. I think

5:50

I was. And I was like, you gotta be fucking

5:52

kidding me. So first

5:54

of all, please reintroduce who Chip was in

5:56

your life and why he was so important.

5:58

So, Chip. opened

8:00

the door, she was like, oh, you were

8:03

abused. And I was like, oh, wow. She

8:05

opened that door. And then Chip

8:07

was like, okay, here's what you're gonna do. Does

8:10

that make sense? I would say the second one helped

8:12

me understand. So what's her name, Ms. Berry? Ms. Berry,

8:14

yeah. She identified it. Oh, yeah. She

8:17

told you this is why you're angry. And

8:20

you hadn't known necessarily why.

8:23

You just knew you were. You gotta realize, most people

8:25

that have anger issues, we don't think

8:27

we're doing anything wrong. Yeah, I know. We're

8:30

like, oh, no, that's the reaction.

8:32

You know what I mean? Like, we don't

8:34

think it's like wrong. But if

8:37

you're like outside of yourself and you look at

8:39

the situation, you're like, oh. You

8:41

know what I mean? Then you're like, oh, that's how

8:43

I got it. Maybe I didn't need to slip the

8:46

table. Yeah, maybe I needed you all that. Yeah, yeah,

8:48

yeah. That's exactly, it's so funny you say flip the

8:50

table because me flipping the table is what got me

8:52

in anger. Wow. Is it where?

8:54

Well, not the first time. It was in

8:56

high school. Some kid was throwing, because

8:59

they would make me sit up front in classes

9:02

because I wouldn't pay attention or whatever. And so

9:04

this kid was like throwing paper behind me. And

9:07

then I looked back and I looked at my homie and

9:09

said, you want to see me flip out? He goes, yeah.

9:12

I was like, all right. So I waited for him to

9:14

throw another one. And then I stood up, flipped

9:17

that desk, and Miss Samuels, the math

9:19

teacher, she was like, oh my God.

9:22

And I was like, bro, throw another piece of paper. I'll kill you,

9:24

bro. Oh no, I started kicking his chest in. That's what I was

9:26

like. We can't forget

9:28

about kicking the chest. A lot of kicking chest.

9:30

A lot of kicking chest. So

9:33

anyways, so that's actually not how

9:36

it would be. That's one of

9:38

the, you know. So Miss Barry's

9:40

like, this is what's up. Miss Barry was

9:42

like, this is what's up. This is what,

9:44

yeah, yeah, right. She was like,

9:46

this is what happened to you. Yeah, this is what

9:49

was happening to you. But now we're

9:51

just gonna, like, now that you know that,

9:53

so we're gonna put that over here. Now

9:55

we're gonna talk about you and like

9:57

what you're doing. You know, they narrowed it

10:00

down. And then. And Chip was like, I

10:02

think Chip was more, it

10:05

felt like a friendship more

10:07

than anything. I felt like it was like- Do you know

10:09

your age difference at the time? How old are you when

10:11

you meet Chip? So Chip was, I think it is late

10:13

50s. And how old were you? And I

10:15

was in my early 20s. Okay. I had to

10:17

be like 22, 21 maybe? Was

10:21

I 21? I don't know, I can't remember.

10:23

It was like early 20s though. It was

10:27

when Chip had came to my life. So, but

10:29

yeah, he was just the one that like, he

10:33

was just like, say things that just made

10:35

so much sense that it just,

10:38

on a level that I was like, man,

10:40

this guy understands me as if he's known

10:42

me the whole time. But

10:44

it's weird because it's like, I could

10:46

say that, but with Chip, he really

10:49

understood me because he goes, because Chip

10:51

also knew the music that I liked.

10:53

You know what I'm saying? So with

10:55

that being said, like him understanding that,

10:59

and understanding this unique world that I come from,

11:01

because punk rock is, you know, at

11:04

least the level that I was like in it or

11:06

whatever, like it's a unique kind

11:08

of underground world. Like I would go to, like,

11:10

like there's this thing about going to

11:13

shows when I was, when I was a kid going to shows and

11:15

I'd have the craziest nights of

11:18

stage diving and mashing and

11:20

all this shit. And I go to school

11:22

the next day, there wasn't many people I

11:24

could talk to about that because it's like

11:26

this unique underground world. You know what I

11:28

mean? And so that was like the, you

11:32

know, the thing that Chip understood that. So

11:35

the fact that he understood that right there,

11:37

it was like, he could say anything pretty

11:40

much, but he would say the most insightful

11:43

shit to me. So anyway, so that's why

11:45

he made the biggest, one of the reasons

11:47

he made the biggest impact and just his

11:49

level of patience and his listening skills were

11:51

like perfect. Like he could listen to me

11:53

tell a whole story and

11:55

then once I was done with

11:57

it, he can dissect everything. I

12:00

just said, like that's how good he is, you know?

12:03

And so, so

12:05

anyways, yeah. Then you had

12:07

reached out to me. I remember exactly where

12:09

I was too. I was at, where was

12:12

that? Oh, I said, what was that? I

12:15

was at San Jose- I remember exactly where

12:17

I was. I was at San Jose Improv,

12:20

right? And I just had got off stage and

12:23

I had a great set. I was doing a

12:25

one-nighter. I had a great- That's a nice double rush. Yeah, it

12:27

was like, dude, that crowd that night was

12:29

like just, I don't know, something, and it

12:32

was like a Wednesday night too. Like I didn't sell it

12:34

out, but it was like, you know, still pretty damn packed,

12:36

you know? And I get

12:38

off stage and then, you know, I'm

12:41

like on one, you know, seeing Hider fans, you know, you

12:43

feel good about your set. And then

12:46

driving back to the hotel, which

12:49

was like right around the corner. And then all of a sudden,

12:51

you know, I see your message and you're like, you

12:54

know, and you said something, you

12:56

just said something so big, you said, I think you might want to listen to

12:58

this. And then

13:00

I, you know, I listened to it. As

13:03

soon as I heard the, I was

13:05

like, oh my God.

13:08

I went numb. I

13:10

went numb. I was like, no way. I

13:13

said, no way, no way. I said, this

13:15

ain't real. This is like, he didn't even

13:18

have to say words. He just said, uh, and

13:20

I knew exactly who

13:22

it was. But I like, and

13:25

I've been, you know, yeah, I had been searching for

13:27

him for a while. I've been trying

13:29

to find him. The fans found him. And it

13:31

was great. So then, you know, these,

13:34

you all fucking best fans and comedy.

13:37

The best fans. Found Chip Chilton. You

13:39

guys are amazing for what you did.

13:41

I don't know. I don't think they

13:43

realized how much they changed my life

13:46

or whatever. And literally,

13:48

yeah, it took me, it took me like

13:50

a week. Did it a week, was it?

13:53

Yeah. Cause I didn't know, like, I

13:55

didn't know what I was just, I think I was doing. What'd you

13:57

do when you went back to the hotel? I sat there and I

13:59

read. Okay,

20:00

cool. And then I was like, I'll read

20:02

it, I'll read it. And then I check out the book

20:04

or whatever, not check it out with that, I bought it.

20:06

Check out, what is, what is, what is, what is, what

20:08

is. Listen, I have a daughter, so

20:10

we still go to live, man. We're checking out

20:12

books, though. You still, it's still

20:14

a thing. Yeah, what the hell am I doing?

20:17

It's so, it's what. What? But

20:19

check out this book now. And

20:22

I read this book and the book, the way it's

20:24

written, this is how crazy it is, this

20:26

is how funny Chip is. The

20:29

book is written not like a straight book, not like

20:31

your average book. It's written,

20:33

it's of a conversation between

20:35

two people, a philosopher

20:38

and a youth. And

20:40

so the book is like basically,

20:44

like it reminds me of the conversations that

20:47

Chip and I would have. So like him being

20:49

the philosopher, me being the youth, where

20:51

I'd be like, but yeah, but what about this, Chip?

20:53

What about like, you know, I would come with these

20:55

like, these kind of like

20:57

angst, you know, sayings and like, you know, like,

20:59

you know, just kind of negative thoughts and he'd

21:01

be like, well, this, this, and this, and this.

21:03

And then so then I'm just like,

21:06

wow. Like, I was like, this man still does

21:08

it. You know, he still does this

21:11

thing for me. And fast

21:13

forward, what's crazy is a

21:15

buddy of mine has

21:17

a recovery facility out here in

21:19

Los Angeles. And he goes, he

21:22

goes, hey man, do you want, I'm

21:26

curious if you want to teach anger management

21:29

at my facility. And I was

21:31

like, bro, I can't teach no anger management. Like, I'm just,

21:33

I don't know, I don't know.

21:35

I was like, I just do it. I was like, I

21:37

can't fucking teach it, you know? And

21:40

he goes, just think about it. He goes, but I would really love for you to

21:42

do it. So I called Chip. I

21:45

was like, Chip, craziest thing, you

21:47

know? I was like, my

21:49

buddy has a recovery facility out

21:52

here and he wants me to teach

21:54

anger management. He goes, do it. You

21:57

have to do it. I go, what? Because

21:59

you have to do it. You're

30:00

like, stick it out and you're putting in your dream.

30:02

Well, I didn't tell you this happened to me. I

30:06

was doing a show in Richmond, right?

30:09

And the club ain't even there no more. But it

30:11

was a bad show, real bad show.

30:13

This show sucked, right? And

30:16

security was bad. You know, it

30:18

was one of those things where the security guard was

30:20

trying to be a comic. He wanted to be a

30:22

comic. And those are like the worst security guards. Like

30:24

don't let someone who's trying to do,

30:26

because they don't care. They don't care. Oh, they're first

30:28

one running. Their first thought

30:30

is, I'm just trying to get in at the club.

30:33

So anyways, I'm doing this show, right?

30:35

And there's these young kids that

30:38

were sitting up for, like

30:40

21 year olds, right? They were like, I'm in

30:42

the South, right? They're like, the country bumpkin.

30:44

They weren't from Richmond. They were from somewhere outside

30:47

of Richmond. That was like a country bumpkin town, right?

30:50

And they were just getting rowdy, right? And they were like,

30:52

cheers, they thought they were at a bar, right?

30:55

Meanwhile, like there's a crowd and people were trying

30:57

to pay attention and people were getting annoyed because

30:59

no one's doing anything about it, right? Especially because they've

31:01

been doing it the whole show. You know,

31:04

I'm headlining. So by the time I get up, they should

31:06

have been already like out

31:08

of the way. So

31:10

anyways, they

31:13

had a bucket of beer on stage. They were sitting in

31:15

front, right? So I took the bucket of beer and I

31:18

put it on the stage. And I said, y'all can't have

31:20

it back until I'm done, right?

31:22

And then we'll have fun. We'll be cool.

31:25

Like I'm trying to be cool. I'm trying to be nice.

31:27

We'll have fun. We'll be cool, whatever. So

31:29

then they laughed at

31:31

that. They're like, okay, okay. Well, you know, cause I already

31:33

had told them like, we got to chill, you know? And

31:36

then like a few minutes later, I'm only like

31:38

15 minutes into my set. One

31:41

of them was like flipping me off, like holding

31:43

it like that, strong, right? And

31:46

I look at the dude and I said, Hey

31:49

man, you flipping me off? He

31:51

goes, yeah. I said, homie, I

31:54

will kick your chest in. And then he

31:57

goes, I'll beat you. He

32:01

was a little dude, right? And we're barking back and forth at

32:03

each other. I was like, bro, this kid's a little, like

32:06

you look insane beating his ass. You

32:09

look insane. Like he was a little dude. And I

32:11

knew they didn't want it because he had- He

32:14

felt Lacey beat Chad. Right,

32:16

exactly. That's what it looked like. In

32:18

the south. And so there's like, and

32:20

I knew they didn't want it because

32:23

I've been in so many fights. You

32:25

know, especially with the fact that they were sitting front row, like

32:27

their table was tight. Like their table

32:29

was touching the stage. The fact, close

32:31

enough to where I could just walk up and grab the bucket

32:34

of beer. And so I was like,

32:36

they didn't want it. You know, so, but we couldn't

32:38

start barking back and forth at each other, you

32:40

know? And then I was like, bro, did you just call me the

32:42

N word? Right? And then the

32:44

whole crowd, whole crowd got pissed. They started booing

32:46

him, right? And then- Is

32:49

it white dude? White dude, yeah. Damn.

32:52

So then security, security finally comes up.

32:55

And security was a big guy too. So I don't know why he didn't do

32:57

something. His guy was just trying to get five. Yeah, I'm just trying to get

32:59

that. You got a guest spot? Can I get a guest spot on the late

33:01

show? So

33:04

he finally gets up. He escorts them

33:06

out, right? The crowd's like booing them

33:08

as they walk out. Right? So

33:11

then they get outside. And like I said,

33:13

I'm only 15 minutes into the show. And

33:15

this is the early show too, which is like

33:17

crazy because that's late show energy. Yeah, that's late

33:19

show energy. And so then, so then,

33:21

you know, like they get kicked out. I asked the crowd

33:23

to say, hey, is everyone okay? Everyone good? And

33:26

everyone's like, yeah, we're good. I was

33:28

like, good because he never called

33:30

me the N word, but I

33:32

had to get him out. So

33:34

then, then these dudes, they,

33:39

they, they got

33:41

outside and

33:47

the security after the show, security told me,

33:49

he goes, dude, they got in a fight

33:51

outside. And I was like, damn. Amongst each

33:53

other? Amongst each other. Because they thought he said it. So

33:56

it's always thought he said, because they were like, like,

34:00

why would you say that? And he was like, I never said

34:02

it. I said,

34:05

you did that night. In

34:10

my dreams you did. In my dreams you did. In

34:13

my dreams. No, it was,

34:15

I can be petty, but it was like.

34:19

It is, you know, listen, you bring a great

34:22

point because I also

34:24

have had a quick

34:26

fuse. It's grown. I've allowed

34:28

it to grow for sure. Especially having kids

34:31

in your life and

34:33

they had to wait and test you and you gotta be

34:35

like, oh, this is good. Yeah, but yes. You know. Yeah.

34:38

So I was in,

34:40

was it Toledo, I think. Is

34:43

that Ohio, right? Yeah. And

34:46

this late show energy and it's

34:48

a packed house. And this

34:51

is an old dude and his wife at

34:53

a two top against the wall over here.

34:55

Okay. Was it the funny

34:57

bone? Yep. Yeah.

34:59

And I

35:02

always give a little bit of leeway because

35:04

sometimes people

35:07

don't know how to order quietly. I'll

35:10

take the mozzarella sticks and the chicken

35:13

and you up here talking, so I don't

35:15

know if this is an asshole. I have

35:17

to stop for a second. I'm like, okay,

35:19

that's just a loud order. It's just a

35:22

loud order. Loud order. Give it to the

35:24

margaritas. Yeah, yeah. Loud order. So people that

35:26

don't know how to fucking whisper. Yeah. They

35:29

think that just making their voice husky is a whisper.

35:31

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But keeping it at this volume. Yeah.

35:34

Chappelle. Oh yeah, yeah. Chappelle. You

35:36

hear what he just said, Chappelle. It's just

35:38

like a thick whisper. Yeah, it's not a whisper

35:40

at all. Yeah. So there's some

35:42

people too. And if you call them

35:44

out, you're the asshole. You know, big guy be like,

35:46

I'm just ordering. Yeah, I'm just ordering. I love the

35:48

joke. I'm just whispering about. I was trying to get

35:50

my drink. Then you look like the asshole, right? Yep.

35:54

But there are those people, these

35:56

guys, this fucking guy over here. Yeah.

36:01

and I told him to shut the fuck up. But

36:04

I was nice first. I said, hey,

36:06

I always ask, everything all right over

36:08

there? Yeah, yeah. We always are nice.

36:11

Also, I'm super aware

36:13

of, I don't want any dude harassing a lady

36:15

and I didn't know if he, you know what

36:17

I mean? I never know. I want the lady

36:19

to be like, no, it's not okay. Like, all

36:21

right. So they had told

36:23

me too, which is funny, they're like, hey,

36:25

just so you know, here at the club,

36:27

if you need to get anybody out of

36:29

here, let's give him another water. Yes.

36:33

And I said, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

36:36

So the guy's like, nah, we're just having a

36:39

good time. You can shit face. And I'm like,

36:41

well, you can enjoy yourself, but keep it down.

36:43

I said, I don't usually speak up until I

36:45

can tell people around you are annoyed. Yes, yeah,

36:47

because you can feel that energy. I'm watching them

36:50

turn around. Yeah, when people start turning around, they're

36:52

like. And hearing the shoes and all this. So

36:54

I said, well, now you're affecting these people's time.

36:57

And now I have to say something. So just chill while

36:59

I have a good time. Go back

37:01

two minutes later, same shit. I'm like, you

37:03

okay? Yeah, yeah, just keep doing your

37:05

thing. I was, I'm trying to do my fucking thing, but

37:08

you won't shut the fuck up. And

37:10

I'm saying it like that, you know, and the crowds like,

37:12

you know, telling them, be quiet, be quiet. I'm like, look

37:14

man, if you don't, we're gonna have to tell

37:17

you to leave. Yeah. So

37:19

two minutes later again, I go, hey man,

37:22

shut the fuck up. There you go. For

37:24

real. Throw it. Shut the fuck up. I

37:27

said, I know I'm a nice dude, but

37:30

these people paid. We all want

37:32

to have a good time. We're not here for you tonight.

37:34

See, that's the thing I love. That's the

37:37

thing I like to say to people. Cause I'm like,

37:39

Hey man, like, yeah, you're, yeah, you're disrespecting me, but

37:41

you're also disrespecting the people that are like, you

37:43

know, literally trying to watch this show. And those

37:46

are good people that also want to shut that

37:48

person up for you. Exactly. They were hit there

37:50

to see like, hey, we want to enjoy this.

37:52

Don't fuck this up for everybody. So

37:55

I go, dude, look, I don't want to throw you out, but

37:57

we're going to throw you out. If you don't see us do

37:59

it. I go, great. and

46:00

was like, oh, should I did that again? Fuck. And

46:02

you still have them? How often would you say

46:04

you have them? Shit, that was the other day.

46:06

Really, you still have them like that? Uh-huh, yeah.

46:09

And I don't know where that comes from. I think

46:11

it's, and you know, I

46:14

think that's why I read and journal so much, because

46:17

I just want to be, you know, obviously

46:19

the best person that I can be. You

46:21

know what I mean? Well, see, that's the other thing

46:23

too. Like you're very into your mind and thinking, because

46:26

in my 20s, I was the same

46:28

way, angry as fuck, and I'll be like, I

46:30

can't wait. I'll fuck this motherfucker up. Oh my

46:32

God. Now I think like, I don't

46:34

know, I could hit this guy, he could fall, hit his

46:36

head, and died, and I'm going to prison. Run, run! I

46:40

never had any of those stuff. At

46:42

20, I was just like, let me hit this

46:44

motherfucker. Because we had no responsibilities then, now we

46:46

got responsibilities. Like, damn, I could lose my house.

46:49

I could lose them everything. Yeah, I could. You

46:51

know, my car might get repoed, because I gotta

46:53

make payments for the, for the hospital bill. He's

46:55

got a boy. All these

46:57

things like, go to your head. That's

46:59

called majority. Yeah, for sure. All right,

47:01

I won't hit you, brother. You know

47:03

what I mean? But yeah, man,

47:06

those dreams are like fucking wild though. It

47:08

is wild. Like I'll wake up like, sweating.

47:12

Even if it's cold in my room. Do

47:15

you call anybody after? So yeah, that's what I had to call

47:17

my ex, and like, you know, just talk to her. Because I

47:19

was just like, you know, I was

47:21

just like, sorry to bug you, you know, but you

47:23

know, just, you know, everything

47:25

okay. You know, all this stuff. I

47:28

just had to like, I don't know, maybe that was

47:30

like, they didn't just call and check on her. And

47:32

you know, maybe that is what that dream was saying.

47:34

But yeah, those dreams, like I struggle with it. But

47:36

you're always hurting someone physically. Huh?

47:39

Are you physically hurting them in the dream? Yeah, like

47:41

it's like, it's like this weird, I didn't physically

47:43

like hurt her, or what I'm just beating

47:45

women in my dreams. Listen,

47:49

if that's where you're gonna do it, do

47:51

it there. Don't do it

47:53

in the real world. Don't you try me

47:55

a quarter. Beat whoever you want in your

47:57

dreams. No, no, but I think I just

47:59

like, I like grabbed her. and was like

48:01

in her face and like, you know, just

48:03

like very aggressive or whatever, you know,

48:06

to her for like no reason. And it's like, you

48:08

know, I just woke up and was like, man, you

48:10

know, but then, you know, she talked to me and

48:13

you know, calm me down or whatever. And you know

48:15

what's funny about those dreams? Cause she would have a

48:17

dream that I like, and I

48:19

think this happens to a lot of guys sometimes, but

48:21

she had a dream that I cheated on her and

48:24

she woke up mad at me. And I'm like,

48:26

hey. Every dude's

48:29

had that. Yeah, I'm like, hey. I didn't

48:31

do a goddamn thing. Yeah, you did. I

48:33

know. Yeah, you did. You know what you

48:35

did. I'm like, I was, what? Yeah, I

48:37

was, what? I'm sleeping in a whole separate

48:39

sleep. I got a whole nother

48:41

sleep going on over there. You know what I mean?

48:43

I'm in another world. I'm sitting here like. Literally. What

48:48

you mad at me for? That

48:50

was your dream. But yeah,

48:53

like luckily, like, you know, I worked it

48:55

out, but I still have my struggles here

48:57

and there, but for the most part, I

48:59

feel like I am at

49:01

like a pretty like solid ground, you know,

49:04

with everything. Like I'm having the time of

49:06

my life with everything that I'm doing, you

49:08

know? Like obviously there's still like these

49:11

like random struggles here and there, but for the most part,

49:13

I feel like, yeah. I feel

49:15

like all the reading and journaling has helped me like

49:17

walk through life, you know,

49:19

smoothly and stuff like that. I mean, honestly,

49:21

you didn't have, you

49:23

know, the easiest upbringing. And

49:25

then you were talking about, you looked at me like, I

49:28

won't go to basketball. So as a black

49:30

dude, not gonna basketball, you're cheerleading. You're

49:32

choosing a lot of things. Watch me

49:34

kill it in cheerleading. Choosing a lot

49:36

of things where people want to fucking

49:38

test. Exactly, where people want attention. Yeah,

49:40

with anger issues. That's a whole, yeah.

49:42

You know, and there's things that like

49:45

used to, I remember, man, there's things

49:47

that used to like get me so

49:49

upset, mainly when

49:51

I was younger, that now that don't even

49:53

like. So, you know, people like to comment, you

49:57

know, people like to say shit or whatever. That's another thing.

50:00

a person on the internet just

50:02

getting ripped apart. And I've

50:04

come to realize, I'm like, hey, you're out there, like people

50:07

are gonna say things, so what? But there

50:09

was this one person, this was the thing I

50:11

used to get like a lot when I was like younger, but

50:14

this dude wrote me, I went and did this club,

50:16

I did Tommy T's,

50:19

right? And have you ever

50:21

done Tommy T's? Well, I figure

50:23

you haven't because Tommy- Up North? Yeah,

50:25

it's up North. Tommy T's is like all black room, right? And

50:27

when they booked me, I was like, y'all

50:30

fucked up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

50:32

Yeah. Yeah. You know, it

50:34

was so funny. I looked at their calendar, I was

50:36

like, oh, Tommy T's, you know, and

50:39

obviously I should have known by the name Tommy

50:41

T. Yeah. And,

50:43

but it was like, I look at the line of it's like Bruce

50:45

Bruce, all these be

50:48

earthquake, all these people and Gary

50:50

Owen, and then, you know, all this

50:52

like roster or whatever, which like, I

50:55

don't have like a fear, like I'm gonna

50:57

do me, I'm gonna be exactly who the

50:59

fuck I am for these crowds.

51:01

Like I'm not gonna do anything, I'm not gonna

51:03

pander, whatever, blah, blah, blah. Like, you know, it's

51:05

all black room, whatever. And so the first night

51:07

I did two nights there, the first

51:09

night was like, it was

51:11

a rough set, you know what I mean? Which like, yeah, that fucking

51:14

happens to us, you know, but I've been, I

51:16

was like, I don't give a fuck, I'm not backing down, you know?

51:19

And I really, so this

51:21

person that wrote me that I guess that was at that

51:23

show, right? But they wrote me from like

51:25

a burner account. And, you

51:28

know, they were like, just

51:30

talking shit like saying like, yo, you get funny

51:33

yet, don't ever come to the Bay Area, blah,

51:35

blah, blah. I was like, oh, this person

51:37

speaking from the Bay Area, you know, but I, you know, I

51:39

was like, whatever, I don't really care. And then one of my

51:41

homies was like going back and forth with the guy or whatever,

51:43

just talking shit. And then they were just

51:45

like calling me like a coon and like

51:47

saying, I'm tap dancing for white people, you know, all this

51:50

shit, like, you know, doing these kinds of things, you

51:52

know, like it's shit that I would hear like when

51:54

I was younger. And I used to get like upset

51:56

at that shit. Then I realized I was like, you

51:59

know, I don't. do anything that I do for

52:01

people to like me. Like I'm

52:03

not looking for someone to like, like

52:08

I don't need you to like me. You know, like

52:10

I wasn't looking for you. I don't know who

52:12

you are. You still don't, you know, 1000% don't know

52:14

who I am. And

52:17

I ain't looking for, like I ain't looking for your love,

52:19

you know what I mean? So like, I don't even give

52:21

a fuck about your love. If I don't give a fuck

52:23

about your love, I don't give a fuck about your hate. Does that

52:25

make sense? You know what I mean? Cause I like, if

52:27

you like me, that's cool. I'm always going to shake hands

52:29

to that. And you know, but

52:32

if you don't, like I don't give a fuck like one

52:34

way or the other. Cause the thing is,

52:36

it's like, you know, you have to be comfortable

52:38

being an individual. And like, I've walked the road

52:40

of being a lone wolf, you know,

52:42

since I was a fucking kid, you know, like

52:44

everything I was doing, like I was, I was

52:46

doing skateboarding at a time where if you were

52:48

a black dude on the skateboard, you were like,

52:50

that's right too. You know what I mean? Like,

52:53

and then punk rock, and then obviously like cheerleading,

52:55

like I'm an odd man out on everything I

52:57

do. So like, you know, you telling

52:59

me, I don't fit in, or

53:01

I'm not this, or I'm, you're trying to label

53:03

as me this is like, well, I mean, yeah,

53:05

you can feel that way. That's cool, but I

53:07

don't give a fuck. You know, but I think

53:09

if I was younger, and when I was younger,

53:12

I used to get it so bad. Man, I

53:14

couldn't be 20 some years old and with the

53:16

internet now, and my

53:18

anger issues back then, and trying to be

53:20

a comic, I'd be done. I'd

53:22

have punched 10 people by now. I know, but what's funny

53:24

about it is like, we had to deal with that shit.

53:28

Here's the funny thing about the internet. Like the thing

53:30

is, when we were kids, people were

53:32

saying it to our face. That's

53:34

the thing. You know, so which

53:36

helps me like champion, like. That's

53:39

what the internet has ruined is accountability.

53:41

Accountability. You can sit there and say

53:43

whatever the fuck you want behind your

53:45

keyboard and your monitor in a different

53:47

state, different country, you know, whatever, but

53:50

you ain't gonna walk up and say

53:52

that to somebody's face. No. Because

53:54

you know damn well, there's a

53:56

really good chance you're getting fucked up. You

53:59

might not. I met a Chappelle Lacey O'Riason

54:02

who worked on their anger issues. You might

54:04

meet 17 year old me and I'm gonna

54:06

kick you in the fucking chest. Exactly,

54:08

I'm gonna kick that chest in. You know what I

54:11

mean? But yeah, man, like, you know, cause I've dealt

54:13

with like those, you know, those

54:15

things used to make me deal with like these, kind

54:17

of this like weird identity, like

54:19

identity crisis on like a, on a racial

54:22

level. Like I didn't, you know, not that

54:24

I thought I was white, you know, but

54:26

I didn't like, all of a sudden

54:28

I didn't know if I was black because we were saying

54:30

I wasn't, you know what I mean? Like I knew I

54:32

wasn't white, I just knew. I

54:36

was like, I know I ain't there. Some

54:40

of the shit, I'm like, I would never do that.

54:42

But anyways, but

54:45

you know, I think, you know, through

54:47

reading and journaling and just kind of

54:49

finding like the strength and

54:51

like individuality and not

54:55

saying I want to be alone, but I'm just

54:57

saying like understanding my strength as

54:59

an individual, like what am I, when

55:01

I'm not in real, like what am I

55:03

without a relationship? What am I without comedy?

55:05

What am I without podcasting or

55:07

talking to people? Who am I? You know what I

55:09

mean? I think when, when you find that, which is

55:11

what I've been able to find, I

55:13

think, yeah, I think I've been able to handle

55:16

things a lot smoother because of thinking

55:18

like that. If that makes sense. You

55:20

know, that's how, that's how I like to walk through,

55:23

through life is just always understanding me before anyone

55:25

else could. So like now when people say shit,

55:28

you know, and I knew the person was black

55:30

because they followed an HBCU. I was

55:32

like, is this Dr. Umar Johnson?

55:38

He files three step teams. Pretty sure he's

55:40

black. Yeah,

55:44

I was like, pretty sure. I

55:48

know man, yeah, just like. And now

55:50

it comes full circle. Now you're, you're

55:52

teaching anger management. Yeah, and I give

55:54

it to you. Just men or do you, is it men and

55:56

women? Men and women. It is. Yeah,

55:58

men and women. Who's angrier. Who's angrier? Who's

56:00

angrier? You know what, in that world, like

56:03

in the recovery world, like people like recovering,

56:05

it's kinda like, you see a

56:07

lot of the similarities. Do you really? Yeah,

56:09

cause you know, they have a substance that

56:11

they're using behind it. Sure. You

56:13

know what I mean? That changes who you are. I

56:15

think if I had someone, like if it was people

56:17

that weren't, you

56:20

know, addicts or anything like that, then it'd be different.

56:22

See that was me, I wasn't drinking or doing drugs,

56:24

I was just mad. See, I was

56:26

drinking on top of it. Were you? Wild Turkey, one on

56:28

one proof, baby. Put a little hair on your

56:30

chest. Bro, I used to, bro, do you

56:32

wanna know what a night life was for

56:35

me? Yeah, tell me. As an alco? At

56:37

your lowest, yes. Yep, ready? So

56:39

what I would do, I would go to this bar back home, and

56:41

it's still there, it's like one of the coolest.

56:43

It's Arizona? Arizona, yep, back home in Arizona. It's

56:46

called Crescent Ballroom. It was a cool fucking joint,

56:48

right? And I would go there a lot because

56:50

it was like the only bar that would serve

56:52

wild turkey. Cause most bars don't

56:54

serve because no one, no

56:56

one, no one's. Wow. Yeah,

57:00

wow. So I had

57:02

to be on a search, like Google who

57:04

serves wild turkey. So

57:07

what I would do, I would go

57:09

there, and this is how I'd start my night. I'd

57:12

go give me a double wild turkey,

57:15

right? Straight up? Straight up, right? And then they

57:17

had this drink called the Honey Badger, right? It

57:20

was like a ginger beer, honey

57:23

whiskey, and something else, right? Maybe

57:25

soda water or something, I don't know. And

57:27

I would go there, I would

57:29

go give me that, right? And

57:32

I would do the wild turkey. I would take it

57:34

through a straw and go, and

57:36

finish it like quick. And then I would do-

57:38

A double shot straight through a straw? Yes, with

57:40

ice, on rocks, on rocks. I know, I was

57:42

a psycho. I was a psycho. So then I

57:45

would do that drink, wait a little

57:47

bit. Then I grabbed the Honey Badger drink and

57:49

I go, like that, and

57:51

then I'd start my night. I thought

57:53

you started. That's how I started. But

57:56

I was coasting for the rest of the night. You

57:58

should have been. It wasn't like I

58:01

was like, but it was just like, if I knew

58:03

I wanted to get down, it

58:05

was like, that's how I would get down. I

58:08

was a nut. I'm glad you're not

58:10

now. Good for you, for real. Thank

58:12

you for doing this. Yeah, no, thanks for having

58:14

me. And opening yourself up and being honest about

58:16

it. I noticed a lot of angry people out

58:18

there. No, you're good at that. You're good about

58:20

letting people open up and not making people feel

58:22

weird about their shit. Because that's the tough part.

58:24

Like people probably wanna, there's a lot of people

58:26

that wanna say a lot of shit, but probably

58:28

can't because they're like, I've

58:30

had people respectfully decline to come on the show.

58:33

Who's like, I don't, I just don't wanna talk

58:35

about my worst shit ever. And I'm like, I'm

58:37

gonna get it. Yeah, yeah, you get it. And

58:39

also, yeah, you understand that too. Those people will

58:41

get there. They'll come around. Yeah, you'll tell that

58:43

wild turkey story. Yeah, yeah, right. One

58:47

more time, plug, promote all of it. Yeah,

58:49

listen to my podcast, listen to my characters

58:51

with me and Joel Jimenez. And then, I

58:54

forgot my dates. Right, because

58:56

I be torn, bro. I'm just kidding. What

59:00

was it? Oh,

59:02

July 11th through 13th, Rochester,

59:05

New York comedy at the Carlson, One

59:08

Night in Portland, Oregon at the Helium Comedy Club,

59:10

July 28th, August 1st,

59:12

One Nighter at 10 p.m. prof. And

59:15

then, any of my friends, please

59:17

don't come to that show. August

59:19

15th through the 17th, I'll

59:22

be in Washington, D.C. at the D.C. Comedy Lab.

59:24

I hate performing for my friends. Yeah, I hear

59:26

that. They bug me, try me

59:28

crazy. Brad Williams is on the way back, and

59:30

he's like, man, my friends, they

59:33

say they wanna try comedy. I'm like, you wanna try

59:35

comedy? I'll tell you what, I'll let you open up

59:37

for me. You can do five minutes before my show.

59:39

I go, you tell your friends that? And he goes,

59:41

yeah, I looked right at the camera. I said, I

59:43

do not tell my friends that. And I will never,

59:45

I will never, never,

59:47

none of y'all coming to open

59:49

up. Never, never

59:52

would bring them up. That's a nightmare I have,

59:54

I try to wake up from. It

59:57

is the worst. Well,

1:00:01

thank you, brother. And

1:00:03

as always, thank you, Ryan

1:00:05

Sickler and all your social media. Come see

1:00:07

me on tour. Tickets

1:00:09

are on my website at ryansickler.com.

1:00:11

We'll talk to you all next

1:00:13

week.