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you're a valuable member of this awesome horror

1:03

virgin community. And if you want to hang

1:05

out with us in a Blade 2 style

1:07

rave, do so in the Facebook group where

1:09

we hang out daily. I don't know how

1:11

you all watched your Blade movies, but I

1:13

get a nice cut of Brie and goat

1:15

cheese with berries in it and crackers and

1:17

charcuterie stuff by myself and just sit there

1:20

and watch Blade 2. And I think it is the

1:22

preferred method of Blade watching. Is it because

1:24

it's high cinema? It is.

1:27

And. Ha ha ha. Because

1:35

it's one thing from the 90s, 2000s that

1:38

I've come back to where I was like, I

1:40

did not appreciate this as a child. Ha ha

1:42

ha ha. Ha ha ha

1:44

ha. Thank you for tuning into Horror Virgin on page. I'm

1:47

Mikey. And I'm your horror virgin Todd, which

1:49

means I don't like scary movies, but you

1:51

guys make me watch them. And this week,

1:53

pretty sure Mikey made us watch Blade

1:56

2. No,

1:58

I want some credit for this one. because

2:00

I also, I really wanted. Okay, credit

2:03

given to Paige too. First off,

2:05

Paige and I are besties and

2:07

we're in sync and we pick

2:09

movies together. Like there's very rarely

2:11

a blood diner type situation where

2:13

I really go hard. But my

2:15

dear, I never mind a blood

2:17

diner. What I fear is a

2:20

deep star six scenario again.

2:23

That was the wrong movie, that is

2:25

a simple mistake. But

2:28

talk about why Blade 2, obviously it's

2:31

Black History. Oh no, I didn't mean

2:33

that. Okay,

2:37

Blade 2 because one, Blade

2:39

1 is fucking awesome and

2:42

two, Blade 2 just ratchets, it

2:44

takes all the crazy things from

2:47

Blade 1 and just ratchets them

2:49

to 11. It's Guillermo

2:51

del Toro, it's extra bloody, the creature design

2:53

is fucking weird, not all the effects hold

2:55

up, but most of them do. Most of

2:57

them do, and I was surprised. The

3:00

mouth shit fucked me up guys.

3:02

Oh really, it did not. No,

3:06

it should have been a little more practical on

3:08

people I think. Well, but then it would have

3:10

been too predator. I

3:12

mean it's already pretty predator to begin with.

3:15

I was eating the first time

3:17

you see it and I dry heaved.

3:19

I was like oh god, it was

3:21

so gross. What,

3:23

have you like never had a sandwich

3:25

while watching porn? What's wrong with you?

3:27

I had to work a full ass

3:29

day and then immediately start watching this

3:32

movie and then wait

3:34

an hour for you and Mikey to be

3:36

ready and then start recording. Apology, Mikey and

3:38

Air's dealing with a lot, okay? Wow,

3:41

it's fine, I was just playing the finals,

3:43

I was having a great time. Oh, I

3:46

play, we can play together. Bro, cross-flatties, let's

3:48

do it. I'm the big guy, I'm the

3:50

big guy. Well, you

3:52

can technically switch between any of the three

3:55

classes almost at any point. I know, but

3:57

I don't. You sound like a toddler where

3:59

you're... I don't wanna play, I'm

4:01

a big, I'm big, I'm big, I'm

4:03

a tough guy. I play video

4:06

games to escape intellectualism. The thing

4:08

is, I at about a

4:10

hundred thousand dudes between 18 and 28 know

4:12

what I'm talking about. There's

4:16

more than that, that game's getting pretty popular.

4:18

I love it, I really enjoyed it. Anyway,

4:20

it's an aside. I will say, I love

4:22

any movie that spends the first 20 minutes

4:24

retconning the first movie. Holy shit, holy shit,

4:27

holy shit. We have to talk about it.

4:30

Do we wanna talk about that now or wait till we-

4:32

Do we wanna talk about it in the scene by scene?

4:34

Yeah, wait long. Do it in the scene by scene.

4:36

Okay, I'll table it. An insane

4:38

retcon. They do loop it in,

4:41

they do throw it in. I

4:44

mean, and then they're like regular vampires,

4:46

but we have vampires eating vampires, like

4:48

vampires squared, and that'll be the point.

4:51

It is like, what without vampire. We

4:53

did a vampire's vampire. But they

4:55

don't ever name what that is.

4:57

The Reapers, the Reapers. Yeah, Reapers,

4:59

but that is not a thing in established

5:01

vampire lore, is it? No, it's a truly

5:04

original- I mean, it could be from the

5:06

Blade comic. I have no clue. Sure, sure,

5:08

sure. Okay, a lot

5:10

of different vampire properties have

5:12

a weird version of this,

5:15

but this is the only one I've seen

5:17

where they then hunt and eat vampires.

5:19

Usually, it's something that infects vampires and

5:21

kills them. So like, in True Blood,

5:23

it's Hep-Z. Pidge has

5:26

this like amazing ability to

5:28

tie any vampire property to

5:30

True Blood in like one

5:32

or two steps. It had

5:34

two good seasons. It

5:37

had two good- let it go. No, three

5:39

is the best season of the entire

5:41

series. Two is dog shit. One

5:43

and three are the good ones. Anyway, so- Out of

5:45

eight. There is precedent for

5:48

this. Out of eight seasons. Out

5:50

of seven, but also there is

5:52

precedent for this type of a

5:55

storyline in vampire lore. However, this

5:57

predates True Blood the TV show, but

5:59

not the- Books so I don't know I mean

6:01

I don't know either I thought they

6:03

made it up for the movie like yeah Here's what I'm

6:05

gonna say from now on when I don't want to argue

6:07

about true blood. I'm just gonna say I I received that

6:11

I'm not in a season for listening

6:13

to true blood facts right now. Yeah

6:18

If you don't love someone back you also can

6:20

say that I received that I used to

6:22

say it was really nice to meet you That's worse

6:24

cuz what if you're fucking them? What I'm

6:26

not at that point I'm

6:29

not I'm in love with you. I accept

6:31

that and receive that Wow what a blessing

6:33

That's some real Tay-digs at the beginning of

6:35

the best man energy you got going on

6:37

right there Mikey I don't want to talk

6:39

about that movie again Well,

6:43

I guess you guys will have to check

6:45

out our romance in the pot episode on

6:47

that to find out why yeah No spoilers.

6:49

You have to listen to that episode. I

6:52

guess it's pretty funny I

6:55

Mean this movie's bonkers. I think it's two

6:57

hours long, but like there's only like 17

6:59

lines of dialogue So

7:01

like we're gonna fly We're

7:04

gonna fly it is like what it's just

7:06

people staring at each other and walking down

7:09

corridors And then like weird fight scenes and

7:11

I loved it Also, I love

7:13

that the vampires have a GI Joe Cobra base

7:15

and that's where their king lives or whatever. Yeah

7:18

I mean, yes, I loved it, too. It's

7:20

like, you know underground, but it's like very

7:22

done It's like no they got feet. They

7:24

got the above top where they had the

7:27

Cobra helicopter Then the Cobra foot man, right

7:29

they have the logos everywhere. Oh my god

7:32

They have a whole special forces. They

7:34

have the logo. They have like

7:36

an Avengers tower. Yeah, it's amazing Yeah,

7:38

and like you'd be running like if you lived

7:40

in that they were you'd be like jogger down

7:42

the street I'm like, why does he have like

7:44

a logo everywhere in a private army? Like is

7:46

this what this Cobra commander? I

7:49

mean like I will say not

7:51

to bring up true blood again. I promise is the last

7:53

time I'm sure it will be yeah Yeah,

7:56

we believe that their base is

7:58

underground in New Orleans And their

8:00

current ruling vampire, the first time

8:02

we meet the vampire authority, is

8:04

Christopher Maloney, aka Detective Stabler from

8:07

Law & Order. Nude and covered in

8:09

blood. I received that. You should receive

8:11

that all night long. You receive a

8:13

nude Christopher Maloney covered in blood? I'm

8:15

not gonna say. I

8:17

think a lot of women would receive a

8:20

nude Christopher Maloney. I think it's more

8:22

than just women. He is a handsome man,

8:24

Paige. Oh, yes. What I want to

8:26

say is, building an underground base in New Orleans is

8:28

the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my whole life.

8:30

Right? Because of the water

8:32

table, Paige. You haven't considered the water.

8:35

You haven't considered the water. That's why the

8:38

graves are anyway. Exactly. I'll

8:40

say this about Blade 2. Was

8:42

it as iconic as the original? Absolutely

8:44

not. Did I enjoy the shit out

8:47

of watching it tonight? Hell yes I

8:49

did. It was so much

8:51

fun. I think it was iconic. Oh, we

8:53

don't have a line like some motherfuckers always

8:55

trying to ice skate uphill in this movie.

8:58

We have some better shit that I took

9:00

notes about. Oh, I don't know. I think

9:02

that that's like best line in the 90s,

9:05

man. But also, he, Blade does not speak

9:07

in sentences in this film. No.

9:09

He, in fact, you'd be hard pressed to cobble

9:12

all of his lines from this film together to

9:14

make one paragraph. There's just

9:16

not that much dialogue in this movie at all, but you

9:18

know what? And I love that they just make

9:20

him like the Mary Sue who's like,

9:22

I knew you were evil the whole

9:25

time. Oh my god. That's nothing of

9:27

that up. Dude, that double reveal at

9:29

the end when Norman Reedus gets exploded.

9:32

Love it. No, no. Insane.

9:35

It's incomprehensible, really. Like that

9:37

Blade would be thinking that far

9:39

ahead. Is he in the Queen's

9:41

Gambit? Like what? And

9:43

then Whistler. Wait, was

9:45

it, was it, it's Chris Christofferson

9:47

or whatever? Like it's Chris Christofferson,

9:49

yes. Which is somehow hot as an

9:52

old guy. I can't explain it. We all

9:54

hope to end up as a

9:56

Chris Christofferson. We All end

9:58

up as Paul G. Marty And

10:01

I'm not either. Ah,

10:03

before we didn't have the right attendees

10:05

about him. And one. Big.

10:08

A vampire doesn't. Six is a cel or

10:10

whatever and like that's wild. I love the.

10:14

Line of Dialogue. They don't. Explain

10:16

it's I say. just have a lot

10:18

of. Died was. Played

10:21

it but they do odds read city

10:23

like ours. Bit of their par first

10:25

by lies about like what some for

10:27

real. Or

10:30

two years he gonna had a seal

10:32

surgery and physical therapy as a regular

10:34

human and not and will likely that

10:37

a bad vibe. About So here's the

10:39

thing with with vampires and this have

10:41

of that across a myriad of the

10:43

empire properties. You. Are what

10:45

you are when you turn. When they turn

10:48

your yeah. right? So like if you had

10:50

an injury free being turned new, you

10:52

keep and well his. Blood.

10:55

My. I don't

10:57

know. I know about that because a

10:59

turtle. The people that saw the cure

11:01

the disease. Ah. I received a

11:04

grant who might he is a glut of

11:06

use as is this week with his life

11:08

goats is get it sorted out. I'm just

11:10

I'm doing my best or my train of

11:13

the yellow. My staff is invalid growth happening

11:15

over here. And there are. The

11:17

other thing is he makes wild

11:19

ass acting choices throughout the whole

11:21

film. So. I think he was trying

11:23

to make us think he was evil but also they

11:26

showed us that they cure him and a kick your

11:28

anyone else of being of a bar and he was

11:30

of a barber's two or three years. And.

11:32

That's wild to really never explain out. Know

11:34

it's insane to me that the beginning of

11:36

the movie is set up with by. The

11:39

Mortal. Kombat music as bad as

11:41

Was Lives videos and as an

11:43

added add to that out that

11:46

Kris Kristofferson got turned and he's

11:48

been hunting him and then they

11:50

find them and they curable vampirism

11:52

or whatever. Then words. Seventeen minutes

11:55

into the movie that gets cured.

11:57

Seventy minutes an ebay never cure

11:59

anyone. Well, that's why Blade To

12:01

is so fucking iconic. Every scene

12:04

creates themselves the new from. Who

12:07

is it? Seem like we have

12:10

four movies worth of plot and

12:12

as one movie and I know

12:14

breakneck pace. These things are immune

12:16

to everything. Was Sunlight. We have

12:18

developed Sunlight bombs. Oh thank

12:20

you. Thank God that took

12:22

fourteen thirteen. Or. You

12:24

learn a half way through this movie that

12:27

some leads the only thing we can hurt

12:29

them. Blade, sword, Bulldog. None of it works,

12:31

only sunlight. and yet they. Have

12:40

any off. The very beginning of the

12:42

flight was all the boys in the

12:44

movie start with them wearing a suit

12:46

that they can go out in the

12:48

day in right? right? and they don't

12:50

like use that. At the end I

12:52

just go in with a bunch of

12:55

fucking blast What is. What? Are

12:57

we know they would never use because

12:59

they're like we could use some like

13:01

has were vampires do not like put

13:03

a bottle of all of little ball

13:05

A classless applause applause. Were

13:08

a bottle of us no matter how much

13:10

I want. To Vanilla Need To people?

13:13

If someone's allergic to sunlight, you

13:15

need one. Guy: One guy who's

13:17

not allergic to sunlight yes, you

13:19

need him would glow sticks? Just

13:21

do. And. Same

13:24

store but whistler popping up every seven

13:26

ms be like am I evil you.

13:30

Remember a deal and. Ah,

13:33

An end they keep has I'm This

13:35

and Save the World doesn't get to

13:38

do nothing this killing themselves and like

13:40

here's the thing. this movie is taste

13:42

breakneck with the exception of like a

13:44

bit of the last acts were that

13:46

flag goes on too long and nothing's

13:48

happened. Right in the seventy minutes preamble

13:50

were there are like we need to make

13:52

and know a T. V was yes

13:55

you. have to keep it but i'd be like

13:57

through like now we can start the real plot

13:59

we had to read on the first movie for

14:01

15 minutes. Right, but like that's the only

14:03

thing if I had to trim anything out of

14:05

them this would be the only thing I would

14:07

do is slightly trim down those fight scenes. Yeah

14:09

they are very very long. They are

14:12

very long and they're full of great

14:14

2002 CGI you know

14:16

I'm saying like it's very clearly

14:18

2002. This is

14:20

gonna be a weird late night energy

14:22

episode so like strap in it's gonna

14:25

be weird. It's gonna be quick because

14:27

there's not much happens. There isn't. How

14:29

about we just get into it. Yeah

14:31

so you guys want to go to

14:33

the movie scene by scene? Yes we

14:35

open on an underground blood bank.

14:38

You know like those underground blood banks.

14:40

Guys it's in Prague and it's like

14:42

a whole city of Prague and a

14:44

train station in a blood bank. It's

14:46

like a magical door. I know it is

14:48

kind of cool. It's one of those things

14:51

where I was like hell yeah and

14:53

then we very quickly quickly reveal I mean we

14:55

knew it wasn't a blood bank we know what

14:57

movie we're watching it's fucking blade 2 obviously yeah

14:59

but then they pull this one guy in and

15:01

he looks pretty sickly and he's got a scar

15:04

down the center of his chin. Oh you

15:06

mean for that childhood accident that split

15:08

him legit down the middle? In twain.

15:10

I know it's the worst case of

15:12

being cut in half I ever seen.

15:14

That's like the worst cleft palate I've

15:16

ever seen. I thought it was weird

15:18

that the movie dresses the vampires as

15:20

Nazis for justice scene. I know I

15:22

was like bunker

15:24

in World War two vibes. Yes

15:27

and full-on like needle glove

15:29

like what why does

15:32

that guy have a needle glove? Well my favorite

15:34

is the guy who's like they'll even take blood

15:36

in jars like they don't even question where you

15:38

got it and it's just like a mason jar

15:40

full of blood. You guys don't do

15:42

it. How do y'all store blood? Hang

15:44

on like are you using mason jars?

15:46

I don't know but there was a college in

15:49

when I was in college there was a horror

15:51

movie short film festival and the trophy was just

15:53

like a block of wood with a plaque on

15:55

it and glued to that block of wood with

15:57

a plaque was just a jar of fake blood.

16:00

Like a mason jar that's on and

16:02

I was love it. I want that

16:04

trophy so bad Like I did

16:06

not win it but I wanted it with every

16:08

fiber of my being if you guys can wood

16:10

shop her An award like that.

16:12

She'd love it. I'd love it. Send it to

16:14

cold podcast PO box Anyway,

16:18

they bring this guy in they got the needle glove and he's

16:20

like, oh So fun

16:23

for you cuz I'm gonna suck your

16:25

faces and he immediately attacks all of

16:27

them with mouth snakes I thought that

16:29

that shit was cool It was an

16:31

effective cold open cuz like the whole

16:33

time you're like, oh this dude's toast

16:36

Yeah, and then as they're walking him down

16:38

you're like, oh this guy this is like

16:40

a vampire place Like they're gonna kill you

16:42

but also he kind of looks like a

16:44

vampire What is he

16:47

though? Yeah, but also like who

16:49

has 10,000

16:52

100,000 square feet for a blood bank with

16:54

guards dressed like Nazi Germany Like that's a

16:56

little frog apparently. Well, that's a big blank

16:58

a big volume blood bank. Yeah It's

17:01

very clear that one of us hasn't

17:03

been to Prague, right? Like

17:05

it's that's what Prague looks like dude.

17:07

It's like Prague to would see the

17:09

number one blood bank in Europe Like

17:12

they they do a lot of good

17:14

at the train depot in

17:17

Prague, bro my only Criticism

17:20

of Reaper Prime, which is what I

17:22

will call him because I don't know

17:24

anyone's name I think Reaper Prime is

17:27

appropriate pretty close. It's pretty I think

17:29

that's probably accurate. Yes I love

17:31

it. He dresses and looks like

17:33

and kind of acts like Voldemort.

17:35

Okay, say less My

17:39

thing and we'll see it later like not

17:41

too much later literally moments from now Is

17:44

that whenever people turn into Reapers?

17:46

They just look like him So

17:49

it reminds me of like every

17:51

Universal City walk haunted house Universal

17:54

Studios haunted house where they need like four different guys to

17:56

play the same actors So they put them all in a

17:58

rubber mask in a jumpsuit Like, that's what

18:00

they all look like. But it's like

18:03

14 Michael Myers is running

18:05

around. It's great, honestly. I loved it.

18:07

No notes. Yeah. Anyway, he attacks

18:09

them. Smash cut 2. Credits

18:12

plus Blade voiceover. Recapping

18:15

the first events that did not

18:17

occur in the first film. It

18:19

is like music that you

18:21

do expect at any moment

18:23

someone will start yelling, Mortal

18:26

Kombat over. It's like that

18:28

style music. Yes. With like

18:30

the best re-piping of the

18:32

first Blade movie ever. But

18:34

with like PowerPoint crossface where

18:37

it's like, remember Whistler? He shot

18:39

me everything I know, but then they turned him

18:41

and you're like, wait, I thought he died. He

18:43

did? They made my father

18:45

my enemy. And since I couldn't kill

18:47

him, I've been hunting him for the

18:49

past two years. Here's how I ended up

18:51

here. I bet

18:53

you're wondering how I ended up

18:55

here. Yes. Not only did he

18:57

voiceover it, they show it. They

18:59

show the scene where Whistler shoots

19:02

himself. But that's not till later,

19:04

Mikey. Mikey, they show that three

19:06

scenes from now. But why? If

19:08

you're going to voiceover it, I'm just going

19:10

to assume it happens. No. In the Wesley

19:12

Snipe School of Directing, you show and tell,

19:15

baby. Because I thought they were going to

19:17

go to like that scene and then it

19:19

would show the vampire stopping him from shooting

19:21

himself and then turning him and taking him.

19:23

No. No. Doesn't do any of that. No reason

19:26

to be there. Okay. Can we

19:28

talk about that then? Yes. Who did

19:30

Whistler shoot? Right. I want to know

19:32

where that bullet went. Well, at his

19:34

age, he's probably shooting blank. I

19:38

knew when you started that joke

19:40

where it was going and I applaud

19:42

you, sir. Well done. Very well done.

19:44

I will say, I feel like unless

19:46

you're watching them back to back, when

19:48

they do like three or four scenes

19:50

from now, that re-pipe where they show

19:52

us what happened last time, if you

19:54

just don't include the sound of that

19:56

gunshot, then you're like, oh, maybe he

19:58

didn't shoot himself. shot himself but

20:00

like maybe I was wrong. Right? You would have

20:02

just like forgot. You would have just questioned it. I

20:05

want to check the Snyder cut on Blade

20:07

1 to see if there's a gunshot. I

20:09

don't remember. I don't really care. I mean

20:11

he adds to the film in a weird,

20:14

weird way. Oh, if you're asking if I

20:16

don't think Chris Christopherson should be in this

20:18

movie, the answer is the same as with

20:20

every movie. Yes, I think he should be

20:23

in the movie. I love Chris Christopherson. Yeah,

20:25

please. Also, can we make him hot

20:27

Santa if Kurt Russell's done doing it?

20:29

Oh, no way. He's dead. I think

20:31

he died. I don't know. What's

20:33

the Chris Christopherson movie where they go

20:35

back in time and steal the airplanes

20:38

before they crash to repopulate the future?

20:40

Mikey, have you confused me with Google?

20:42

You guys have ever seen that? No.

20:45

What the hell are you talking about? No. What?

20:47

Sometimes I literally just type the words

20:49

you say at me into find.com and

20:51

see what comes out. Well,

20:54

when it came out, I didn't do it this

20:56

time. We didn't because it was

20:58

word salad. What did you even

21:00

say? Hang on, Mikey. Let's do

21:02

it. There is a movie that

21:04

is about the future opening time

21:07

portals around planes that are about

21:09

to crash to steal the passengers

21:11

to repopulate the future because they

21:13

can't reproduce. What the hell? I've

21:15

never even heard. This sounds like

21:17

something you dream. I believe it's

21:19

called Millennium. If I remembered

21:22

that correctly. Millennium is a 1989

21:24

science fiction film directed by Michael

21:26

Anderson starring Chris Christopherson. The film

21:28

follows an air crash investigator who

21:31

discovers curiously strange details while

21:33

investigating a recent crash. And it

21:35

only made about five million dollars

21:37

in the box office in

21:39

1989, which means no one saw this movie, Mikey. Well,

21:45

I did. Clearly not at the

21:48

theater. Yeah, no. On television. Mikey,

21:50

I don't know every weird movie that

21:52

got dumped on television from 1985 to

21:54

1999. I'm not Google. It's

21:59

Chris Christopherson. Christopher's Best Film is

22:01

all I'm saying. No,

22:03

this is Chris Christopher's Best

22:05

Film. How dare you, Blade

22:07

One is Chris Christopher's Best

22:10

Film. You don't know. Also

22:13

just to close the loop on the

22:15

find conversation, I typed, is there a

22:17

movie where people from the future open

22:19

up time portals where they save people

22:21

from aircraft crashes and transport them to

22:24

the future? And it said yes, that

22:27

movie is called Millennium, also known

22:29

as Future World. So Mikey, I'm

22:31

going to start just plugging your shit

22:33

into pind.com. find.com. I mean,

22:36

I knew it existed. I can't believe I remembered

22:38

the title. I feel very impressed with myself.

22:40

You shouldn't. So, anyway, he plays the same

22:42

character in this film as that one. I'm

22:45

sorry, are you saying he plays the same

22:47

character in this movie as in Blade One?

22:49

No. Or as in

22:51

Millennium? Millennium. So Millennium also has

22:53

vampires? They're probably in the

22:55

same universe. There's no one to say

22:58

they're not. I think it's an

23:00

interesting backstory for him. We don't

23:02

know a lot about Whistler in

23:04

the past, right? How did he

23:06

hurt that leg? Was it an

23:08

airplane crash page from the future?

23:10

I don't have the brain space

23:12

to receive or hold that from

23:14

you. Maybe he went to the future, repopulated

23:16

the future, a vampire in the future killed

23:19

his wife. He goes back

23:21

to 1989 to then meet Blade and raise Blade.

23:23

Because he's got to bang that vampire's

23:25

mom. Oh wait, no? Oh, okay. No.

23:28

He's got to train Blade up. But that's just for spite. Mm-hmm.

23:31

Interesting. I don't think that's what happened. I don't

23:34

have that on the screen. No, the only thing

23:36

we have on screen is him maybe

23:38

being evil and then murking a

23:40

bunch of fetuses? Question mark? At

23:42

the end? Oh, we

23:44

got to talk about that because some rubber ones explode

23:46

out of those glass things and fall on the floor.

23:49

And it's the funniest thing I've ever seen. I have

23:51

so much to say about that scene,

23:53

yes. But we'll have to table it.

23:55

Well, I think he was mad because

23:57

the future really needed those fetuses to

23:59

repopulate. They they're vampire fetus. It

24:01

will. their reaper fetuses stagnant? Yes.

24:04

Anyway, so this movie read times

24:06

the first movie with a weary

24:08

with like hey, remember this happened

24:11

know because it didn't It didn't

24:13

happen. And settled on at all how it happened

24:15

deliver not. Allowed haven't we do get him

24:18

loading bullets but unfortunately not loading cloves of

24:20

garlic into a gun was. If I ever

24:22

get to make a blade move like somebody

24:24

call the people making blade with Murtaugh Ali

24:26

which sounds phenomenal I can. We were to

24:28

come out and make them alone cloves of

24:31

garlic in do a gun just for me.

24:33

Just one magazine for me. Anyway,

24:35

he goes after a bunch of

24:37

vampires. Now here's the wild thing

24:40

in this. Scene. He

24:42

chases amount of fire escape. they end

24:44

up on motorcycles. And he's

24:46

trying to like tracked the old Whistler

24:48

but then right away on the motorcycles

24:50

would you their opportunity to a skate

24:52

blade but know they come back on

24:54

the motorcycles Shrine Fi blade. It's yeah

24:57

they had zoo. Page. Because he

24:59

had blog the only exit ever

25:01

around this huge building but they

25:03

were an with his car but

25:06

when he takes the guys helmet

25:08

off with the tire is pretty

25:10

cool to that. The conservatives the

25:13

limit of white see in between

25:15

people riding motorcycles and Blade who

25:17

is oh yes stationary and they

25:20

are just sitting around him for

25:22

like three minutes. He's not. He's

25:24

throwing like vampire ninja sort. Of

25:26

them. Now I mean there's a lot of

25:29

stuff going on. I do like that he

25:31

like whoop he says of the run. Arrive

25:33

for those grows grows. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Reside

25:35

all if you tell me where Whistler is.

25:37

Yields as be my lose their unless. You

25:39

go for now. Yes. And

25:41

then he says get your lead outcomes they can

25:43

I touch shop with a puts puts the. Number

25:47

was those as regular one. Anyway he cracks

25:49

or guys home and off with a wheel

25:51

which is the first of i think three

25:53

different cracked helmets in this movie and honestly

25:55

everyone is better than last. my favor being

25:58

the one where he just. kick a

26:00

dude's head in with one kick and

26:02

the helmet cracks like an egg. Yeah. So

26:04

good. It's amazing. So he gets that

26:06

guy to take him to the official

26:08

vampire place where they're keeping Whistler

26:11

in a vat, like a stand-up

26:13

tube of blood like Luke in

26:15

Empire Strikes Back. Yeah, it looks sort of

26:17

like a Rick and Morty thing you would

26:19

see now. Like where, like a vat you

26:21

would have a human in, but it's blood.

26:23

They're also doing lines of like blood

26:26

coke, which is wild. Yeah, you've never

26:28

seen blood coke, Paige? No. They

26:30

don't have it on power. You've

26:32

never powdered up some hemoglobin,

26:34

Paige? Come on! I

26:37

have not. It's actually what the rich

26:39

are doing to stay young. I thought

26:41

that was adrenochrome. It's actually ground-up

26:43

child's knee scabs. Ew. What

26:46

is your brain today? No. Delicious.

26:48

It's a bit of a vampire. Yeah, they're

26:50

blood, Paige. No. Actually, hang on.

26:52

Would they be vampire chips? I'm not joking. Get out

26:54

of my brain, Todd! I was like, are scabs a

26:56

cracker? Are scabs a vampire? So

27:00

is there like a vampire factory

27:02

where they're just like skinning children's

27:04

knees to harvest the scabs? I

27:06

don't know. And for charcuterie boards?

27:09

No, like Pringles, but with scabs. Like once you

27:11

pop. Yeah, would be Pringles with scabs. Yeah. You'd

27:14

be like, hey, bring some scabs in a hummus.

27:17

Let's get this party started. Well, like if you

27:19

bend a knee and then scab it and then

27:21

don't, and then like peel it off, it's like

27:23

pretty Pringled-shaped. It is, right? Like

27:25

if you get a good scab going, it's been

27:27

cooking up for like a week. You know what

27:30

I'm saying? Yes, but I wish I

27:32

didn't. Yeah. And then

27:34

if you really want a Pringle to hit

27:36

hard, you grind it up and snort it

27:38

off of somebody's ass. Hell yeah. You never

27:40

snorted a scab off a man's ass, Paige.

27:42

You know how bad it would hurt to snort a

27:44

Pringle? Like you might really hurt

27:46

yourself. Not if you're a vampire, Paige. Okay,

27:48

so there's snorting scabs. I don't think it's

27:50

scabs. I think it's just coke with blood

27:53

mixed in it, but fine. I think it

27:55

is coke with blood mixed in for sure,

27:57

yes. Oh, that's a lot better than scabs?

27:59

Okay. Okay, if you

28:01

gave me a choice and were like

28:03

Paige you could do a line of

28:05

literal scabs Or you could

28:07

do a line of cocaine with blood mixed in

28:09

it. I'd be like let's go for that blood

28:11

code I would choose child scabs because

28:14

less likely to catch a disease

28:16

That's true blood-borne pathogens But less of a fun

28:18

time because then you just have a nose full

28:21

of scabs just like I do now Paige

28:24

It was like winter's rough I

28:28

was snowed in for like eight days Anyway,

28:31

thus begins multiple fight scenes

28:34

where blade takes out different weapons every time there

28:36

was like vampire ninja stars They kind of cut

28:38

in half then he's got his gun But he

28:40

runs out of garlic cloves I guess and then

28:42

he's got tiny knives and he just like stabs

28:45

them a bunch of times This is where he

28:47

tells the one guy to get to get the

28:49

lead out because it's he's full of

28:51

bullets Well because he was like

28:53

breaking in and like the head District

28:56

vampires plays to find Whistler or whatever

28:58

right was using that vampire as a

29:00

human shield Right, and of course the

29:02

vampire he was using him as a

29:04

human shield from like didn't have silver

29:06

bullets or whatever Yeah, so he's full of

29:08

like actual human bullets. So he's just like Fine

29:13

ultimately, but like this really does

29:15

hurt It looks like Bill

29:17

Bailey. Yeah, like which I know is

29:19

only for our UK people, but that

29:21

is what he looks like Yeah, anyway

29:24

at this point We're 11 minutes into

29:26

the field and I was like we're

29:28

like 10 minutes in there's been like

29:30

two lines and it's already buck Why?

29:34

Yeah, what is happening? so

29:38

we cut back to Blades

29:40

lair where he has like a new like

29:42

a mini Whistler and it is Norman Reedus

29:45

who looks exactly the same But

29:47

baby Norman Reedus, it's baby

29:49

Norman Reedus, but he is somehow dressed the

29:52

same Oh, I mean he is trying out

29:54

for the Walking Dead in this movie for

29:56

sure like he has that look But his

29:58

clothes are just like shade too big

30:01

so it's almost like when he's like

30:03

when I get to be a full-grown

30:05

grown-up Norman Reedus I'll be a real

30:07

boy and like be on whatever show

30:09

like he's growing into adult Norman Reedus's

30:11

clothes it's really kind of fun you almost

30:14

expect him to run by a table of weapons

30:16

and like stop at a crossbow and be like

30:18

not yet and then we go away like

30:21

he's like real close to being full-ass

30:23

Norman Reedus but not quite there yet

30:25

not quite anyway they give Whistler

30:27

some injection of some sort of

30:30

retroviral detox it makes you quit the

30:32

thirst in 24 hours of

30:34

your money back or whatever he

30:36

says he'll kick the thirst overnight

30:39

is it cold shaking? It is

30:41

overnight because he's like Whistler these

30:44

shades open come dawn whether you're

30:46

a vampire or not like Blade

30:48

is always badass I love it

30:51

so Whistler's fine yeah although

30:54

he is sitting in the shadows because I think the

30:56

movie wants to be like is he fine it's like

30:59

no he's fine even for an old guy like yeah

31:01

I pay okay so I

31:03

didn't have those thoughts but I knew

31:05

he was gonna be fine the second he

31:07

doesn't die when those shutters open I was

31:09

like Chris Christopher's in legit gonna be a

31:11

full-ass on hero in this movie and he

31:13

is but they do play it

31:15

like he might be the inside man

31:18

the whole time I knew when they

31:20

spent 15 minutes retconning his death yeah

31:22

yeah yeah also they don't do a

31:24

good job with his is he isn't

31:26

he not at all deal no he

31:28

actually feels like the father in the

31:30

wanted to have father and son dynamic

31:32

in this yeah I don't think Wesley

31:34

Snipes does a great job of seeing

31:37

him like a father cuz he's all

31:39

like these shutters open it down whether

31:41

you're a vampire or not dead

31:44

well if he's a vampire if it

31:46

doesn't work they gotta shoot him I

31:48

mean that's fair but wouldn't you like

31:50

Shawn of the Dead try to keep him

31:52

alive for a little while but if they

31:54

have the ability to cure every vampire why

31:56

are they murdering them why don't they go

31:59

with I said the end

32:01

Mikey! There's no explaining this movie and

32:03

I don't want to try I just

32:05

want to celebrate its magnificence. So

32:08

I had a thought because we went off the

32:10

rails when we did blade one about vampire

32:12

pregnancies, etc. Oh, they

32:15

completely dodged the bullet on that.

32:17

No, they don't because they bring it up in

32:19

this movie. They say pure blood. Yes, but

32:21

I wanted to go deeper. That's true. Yes,

32:24

true Yes, because she's a pure

32:26

blood. So my question is does

32:29

the retroviral only work if you were

32:31

bitten not if you were born? Oh,

32:34

probably. Yeah, that would make sense.

32:36

It's a retroviral which means words

32:38

and I don't know what they

32:40

mean. It means before viral, right?

32:42

Well, it retro I didn't

32:45

reverse viral, but I think it

32:47

means it's like viruses But like with

32:49

boom boxes and yeah, it's like skip

32:51

for lose a turn viral. Bop it.

32:54

That should be retro for

32:56

sure. It's like crisscross crisscross

32:59

So later in the movie when they're

33:01

talking about the Reapers They

33:03

say that it's a virus much like

33:05

vampirism as a virus which does kind

33:07

of negate the whole born a vampire

33:09

thing But then they do bring the

33:11

born vampire. It wrecks your head Well, it

33:13

seems like in the movie They position vampirism

33:15

as like you can get bit

33:18

and be turned but not everyone

33:20

is unless you're bit by a reaper

33:22

And then you do turn into

33:25

a reaper not a vampire, right? Okay

33:27

But and I don't know if we

33:29

talked about this the first episode if

33:31

you're bit then turn then have sex

33:33

with a bit Then turn person

33:35

and then she has a baby

33:37

is the baby pure blood or

33:39

is the baby quarter blood? Oh

33:42

god I don't know. I would think the baby

33:44

is pure blood I thought any baby born a

33:46

vampire is pure blood and that's how they can

33:48

age and shit, right? Right. So

33:50

okay, so I I think I have an

33:52

analogy for it, but I don't like it.

33:55

Feel free to cut this out I'll let

33:57

you guys make the decision. It

33:59

seems like it's like AIDS

34:02

because you can catch it, right?

34:05

Like it's transmissible via blood but

34:08

also if your parent has it

34:11

you could potentially be born

34:13

like HIV positive or with

34:15

AIDS and still grow but

34:18

you would have it so

34:20

like maybe it's like that?

34:23

I honestly don't know what's going on in the

34:25

baby making department in the Blade Universe and

34:27

I'm sort of comfortable living in my naivete

34:29

in that regard.

34:32

All you need to know

34:34

is that an undead stork

34:36

comes nine months later. Okay,

34:38

is that what it is?

34:40

That's what happens? Teach me

34:42

about the vamps and the

34:44

zombies, baby. So when two vampires

34:46

know each other very very much they

34:49

buy an old fancy Victorian house

34:51

in the French Quarter and then

34:53

they turn a little girl because

34:55

she's like a living doll and

34:57

they like eventually go to Europe

34:59

and then try to find a love story. Interview

35:02

with the vampire baby. Anywho,

35:04

so Whistler's fine and he and Norman Reedus

35:07

kind of butt heads a little bit because

35:09

Norman Reedus is like I'm the new guy

35:11

and I'm messing with the car and stuff

35:13

but they get over that pretty fast. And

35:16

Whistler's like I'm old and possibly

35:18

drunk this whole movie don't fuck

35:20

with me child. That is like

35:22

his energy towards Norman Reedus the

35:24

whole time and I love it.

35:26

My name's good. And he's like they

35:29

tortured me almost to death and then they

35:31

put me in a vat of blood to

35:33

heal and then they do it all over

35:35

again and they didn't even fix my leg

35:37

which is so wild. Like the healing blood

35:39

is like you know you still

35:42

need some physical therapy. So it obviously does.

35:44

Okay, I don't want to

35:46

talk. We'll just have to move on because the more you think

35:48

about it, the more I think about it, I think Whistler was

35:50

faking it. And I just want to tell the leg. Yes,

35:53

I think he was faking it. I

35:55

loved how like he was struggling with

35:58

that. He was like building up. that

36:00

page. Did you hear that? I did. I

36:02

heard him struggle. I don't know if

36:04

I want to talk about it. I think he

36:06

was doing it for attention. I think being a

36:08

vampire cured it, but he wanted like he missed

36:11

being human. So he's like, well, I got a

36:13

limp again. And it's like, you know, like that's

36:15

a choice, I guess. But like, also, that's how

36:17

he gets off the roof so fast. Well,

36:19

he is human though, right? Like he's

36:21

human at the end, right? Yes. But

36:24

I think his body is like rejuvenated.

36:26

He was a vampire for three years.

36:28

And I think he hides that because

36:30

he doesn't want to feel unhuman. So

36:32

you think he, like some might say,

36:34

like a magician hides his true abilities

36:37

to confuse his opponents or like

36:40

munchausen. Like a munchausen. Yeah. I

36:42

think it's a, it's emotionally driven,

36:44

not like, okay, combat driven. Okay.

36:47

Like, like his leg injury

36:49

is psychosomatic. No, I think I

36:51

just think, I just think it's part

36:53

of him, you know, like I've, who

36:55

am I without this brace without a

36:58

limp. What you have to realize Whistler

37:00

is that you are just someone with

37:02

a limp. You are not a

37:04

limp. We love you just

37:06

the way I

37:09

think he thought people wouldn't love them

37:11

if they thought being a vampire made

37:13

him different. And I think, I think

37:15

he faked the leg injury, conveniently

37:18

uses it to his advantage. But I

37:20

also think he moves around a lot

37:23

faster and better than he did in

37:25

the first film. He was really limping

37:27

in that first film and he's running

37:29

around in the sewers on the roof.

37:31

He's moving places, catching reapers and stuff.

37:33

Like, you know, that's much

37:35

different than his character in the first film. I

37:37

think you're giving him a lot of credit for

37:39

stuff he says he does

37:42

off screen. Yeah, that's true. It does

37:44

not happen on screen. There's some, but

37:46

not a lot on screen. He is,

37:48

he fights Rod Perlman knocks him out

37:51

in three punches, a vampire and then

37:53

escapes. Mikey's got a good point there.

37:55

He's supposed to be human at that

37:58

point. Never 60 year old. That's

38:00

my granddad punching this guy. Yeah,

38:02

like okay that makes sense Sometimes

38:05

they got that old man strength from the war.

38:07

If I tell it you it cured his injuries

38:09

He should have just been like I'm whistler But

38:11

now my body feels like I'm 20 years younger

38:14

and then like I've been like good for him

38:16

Well, the thing is I don't think the actor

38:18

could have done that like I think

38:20

they had to like accommodate him Yeah,

38:23

he's not gonna like pop out of that

38:25

blood tube like Captain America I just like

38:27

I think he bathed in stem cells. Is that

38:29

why vampire blood heals people? Maybe I don't

38:31

know if we should get into this yet,

38:34

but this is a fetus heavy movie like

38:36

just like the last one I know there

38:38

was gonna be some baby talk. I know

38:40

I don't want you to fat shame babies

38:42

there Todd What why are these

38:45

what you have to be taught today that

38:47

this is a the heavy fetuses are in

38:49

this film or whatever No, it's not that

38:51

they're heavy fetuses. I think they're probably normal

38:53

sized fetuses. No idea Wow All

38:55

fetuses are normal in their own way.

38:57

Yeah, exactly Todd There's a lot of

38:59

fetuses in what I can only describe

39:01

as like a circular bookshelf

39:04

like Jurassic Park Basically, no one was

39:06

gonna show up with a can of

39:08

shaving cream and collect all those vampire

39:10

fetuses I just I just didn't know

39:12

you were like an all fetuses matter type

39:14

guy I Love

39:18

that we know definitively

39:20

where Whistler stands on

39:22

abortion rights. That's all I'm saying From

39:26

the end of the smooth at least when it

39:28

comes to vampires, yeah, he marks all

39:30

them fetuses He's like humans are

39:32

the silent benefactors of vampire abortion and

39:34

you're like man Alright,

39:37

though, he does it without limping page I

39:39

have a question sure and I feel like

39:41

you're the only one of the podcast that

39:43

can answer it Okay. All right. Is it

39:45

too soon to rename this? Rovi

39:48

blade Yeah,

39:52

it hurts me it hurts me

39:54

but also I'm so sorry Because

39:58

it's not they gonna farm

40:00

their scabs into vampire drops.

40:03

But what if I get hooked on scab

40:05

chips? Oh god I'm so sorry.

40:07

Hooked on scab chips cause scab chips

40:09

took off me. Alright I'm going

40:11

to hell for Roby Blade but I'm standing by

40:13

it. Well they did genetic

40:16

testing on those fetuses and they weren't

40:18

viable cause they're reapers. Let's

40:20

go cause they're already dead. Yeah there's a

40:22

lot of grey area here. I think we're

40:24

getting off track. Whistler's faking it. Yeah everything

40:27

in this movie is grey. It's like a

40:29

grey black red color scheme. There's a lot

40:31

of grey area. It's a vibe and I'm here

40:33

for it. Anyway back to Norman Reedus is

40:35

doing his best cue from James Bond to

40:37

be like I got all these cool gadgets

40:39

and stuff and an alarm goes off and

40:41

they're basically like we got vampires coming

40:44

in from sector whatever. We don't know how

40:46

they got in but they are magically in.

40:48

Now this is for me the

40:50

funniest part of this film because we will

40:52

learn that this is Asad and Nissa from

40:55

the vampire authority or whatever. Yeah. And

40:57

they're both like samurai sword fighting blade

40:59

but here's the problem. Blade's

41:01

the only one that can samurai sword fight them.

41:03

He's one guy. You can only really fight one

41:05

person at a time most of the time. So

41:08

if you watch this movie whenever he's

41:10

fighting one of them the other one

41:13

is just standing slightly off to the

41:15

side windmilling their sword until

41:17

blade comes into their like sphere of

41:19

influence and then they fight blade and

41:21

the other one just like and there's

41:24

sound effects for it where it's like

41:26

of course and they're just

41:28

wind like light like a kid with

41:30

a lightsaber on the quad just like

41:33

their samurai. It's the funniest thing I've ever

41:35

seen. I received your criticism of this scene.

41:37

I'd like to double down and say it's

41:39

not criticism. It's encouraged.

41:42

I love it. I would like to double down

41:44

with the criticism to be like this was their

41:46

peace offer. Why didn't they just ring the doorbell

41:48

and be like we know where you live. We're

41:50

here with a peace offering. We

41:53

have a message literally. We have

41:55

a message from like the king

41:57

vampire or whatever. But first we got a

42:01

scrimmage? I'm

42:03

okay it is dumb if you're looking

42:06

for anything to be smarter than

42:08

this turn it off This is not the

42:10

movie for you. No, I mean but like listen

42:12

it's gonna get way better than this But

42:15

I do love these suits. No, but

42:18

they're dressed like storm shadow from GI

42:20

Joe They are and I love those

42:22

suits though Mikey. They're great I

42:25

do love the suits and I love the scene

42:27

where they're they're jungle gymming up at the top

42:29

jungle Jimming is of is what it's called there

42:31

to be there's there to talk. So why do

42:34

that? Why not just write a note? I

42:37

don't know because then they wouldn't have

42:39

had the chance to just like Quietly

42:41

windmill their swords by themselves while watching

42:43

their friends fight like yeah, hell yeah

42:45

when he gets over here I'm

42:47

gonna give him the business cuz like basically they stop

42:49

fighting. They're like I'm here with a

42:52

note They do. Do

42:54

you like vampires check? Yes, no, or maybe

42:57

But they do show off the really cool

42:59

suit with the irises that like would be

43:02

Perfect for what they try and do later

43:04

in the movie, but they don't use I

43:06

know this is the only time we see

43:09

this extremely effective

43:11

suit that you would think

43:13

the Vampire task force that

43:15

is sent after blade to hunt him down

43:17

would be like every one of those members

43:19

would have that suit Why does no one

43:22

wear that suit because they have to

43:24

wear the the crazy black latex S&M

43:26

looking suits like yeah Why would

43:28

they have that suit that suit

43:30

has night vision which the vampires?

43:33

Naturally have right. So why

43:35

are they wearing it at

43:37

all? I don't know because they need

43:40

everyone in this movie to be dressed like that one

43:42

scene in dodgeball where they get the wrong Costumes and

43:44

they end up in S&M gear like that's what this

43:46

whole movie looks like and I am NOT mad at

43:48

it I love it. Just throwing it out there

43:51

loved it those goggles made them look

43:53

like flea stacks Please deck but also

43:55

this movie sets up they're like special

43:58

ops vampires and really cool Yeah,

44:00

but the rest of them just look like

44:02

GI Joes and I fight and it's like

44:04

here's the sporty one Here's

44:06

the sailor and I'm like, oh they are

44:09

they're just GI Joes. Here's the punk

44:11

girl. That's gonna hack stuff Yeah, but

44:13

it's they very much try to set

44:15

it up like space Marines Like yeah,

44:18

they're very like aliens kind of a

44:20

vibe, but they just never connect. It

44:22

never gets that good Are we are

44:24

we there yet in the plot? I feel like

44:27

we're real close to that About to be there we're about

44:29

to talk about with those guys. Okay, I'll get there

44:31

really good Okay So the vampire was

44:33

taken back in a helicopter and this is

44:35

like I'm surprised you agreed to just like

44:37

come to this Alone like we've been hunting

44:39

you for years and he's like, yeah And

44:41

he just like opens his jacket and he's

44:43

got just a ton of explosives So like

44:45

his plan is like if they come for

44:47

me, I'm a suicide bomb this whole thing

44:49

and you're just like, oh no Yeah,

44:52

no and Norman Reed is

44:54

like yeah who's scared now or whatever

44:57

Whatever what what bitch is and

44:59

you're just like what and he called him

45:01

B every time. Yeah Yeah, dog, and

45:04

I hated it. He called him big

45:06

hated it. First off blade is a

45:08

one syllable word So B does not

45:10

save any time. Yeah Although people call

45:13

me P a lot and page is

45:15

a one syllable word people call me

45:17

team because I'd be dropping that see It's

45:21

T EA will page be dropping that P

45:26

Every day I'd be so fucking

45:29

hydrated They call

45:31

Mikey D. I want to talk about the drop

45:34

No, my family calls me P dub either

45:36

blob with dub for dub. Yeah I mean

45:39

that makes sense P dub double Dutch bus

45:41

W anyway, so they fly them out to the

45:44

GI Joe base they go to

45:46

the GI Joe Cobra Bay and they get

45:48

there and The

45:51

vampires got hella Illuminati energy in

45:53

like every vampire property. They're basically

45:55

the Illuminati. No, it's Cobra It

45:58

is just Cobra energy everywhere And

46:00

yeah, they're going to Cobra Commander's base

46:02

for sure. Yeah sure sure they do

46:04

have a DNA scanner Which looks painful, but

46:07

kind of cool. I'm gonna tell you

46:09

Paige if the Illuminati is like

46:11

Cobra. I would join Like

46:17

you think I don't want to hang out

46:20

with Beyonce and Jay-Z of course I do

46:22

I want to hang out with Destro the

46:24

same thing. Yeah, those are the same thing

46:27

Because all three of

46:29

the people that you two collectively

46:32

want to hang out exists in

46:34

reality What is Destro if not

46:36

Jay-Z with the silver faceplate on?

46:39

I got 99 problems about a Joe

46:41

ain't one shoot man. If you haven't

46:43

Joe problems I feel bad for you

46:46

son I got 99 problems about a

46:48

snake ain't one. Yeah, you crazy for

46:50

this one Rick But the vampire GI

46:52

Joe base has flags that say

46:55

vampires live here And it's a

46:57

secret base. Yeah Like

47:00

the vampire authority hello

47:03

anyway they go meet the king

47:05

vampire and he's basically like Nosferatu He

47:07

looks kind of sick. He's definitely very very old.

47:10

Yeah, but he's like hey nice to meet you

47:12

blade I know we've been enemies, but like good

47:14

to have you and then there's a guy next

47:16

to me He's like oh that guy's human. He's

47:18

like barely. I'm a lawyer I

47:22

also like that. He's like thanks for killing

47:24

frost. It's how I became vampire president right

47:27

right, and I'm like oh Steven Dorff they

47:30

didn't retcon his death no although they

47:32

do like try and reuse What

47:35

killed him in the first movie and

47:37

it doesn't work on the Reapers because

47:39

that's what Norman Reedus puts in those

47:41

things right in The oh yeah,

47:43

yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know little blades

47:45

the stabby-fist things yeah the stabby-fist

47:47

reloading cartridges Yeah punch needles or

47:49

does he because Norman Reedus is trying to sabotage him

47:51

the whole time So maybe he didn't put anything in

47:53

and then why maybe that's why it doesn't work

47:55

maybe maybe I mean I also thought though

47:57

that it was just as a Reavers were

47:59

fucking bad ass because they kind of work.

48:02

Right. Anyway, head vampire is like look

48:04

here's what's up there's a disease and

48:06

we found a carrier he's like patient

48:08

zero but if he bites you you

48:10

turn into a thing exactly like him

48:12

and they feed on vampires and

48:14

we called you to hunt him because you're really good

48:16

at hunting vampires but also once he gets rid of

48:18

all the vampires who you think he's gonna eat next

48:20

people duh so are you gonna help

48:23

us and he's like okay fine he's like

48:25

cool I've got a whole team with a

48:27

special set of skills and it's

48:29

basically like you know trash and suicide

48:31

from Return of the Living Dead and

48:33

Hellboy. It is yeah yeah that's two of

48:35

them. Yeah Hellboy, mesh

48:38

shirt and then Assad who's the

48:40

other guy who windmills the blades.

48:42

They look like 1980s GI Joes because

48:44

they don't have uniforms they have like S&M

48:46

gear yeah yeah which is 1980s GI Joes

48:49

we're like latex chains, leather. Yeah.

48:51

They all have some sort

48:54

of leather duster it's great.

48:57

It was awesome I loved it no

48:59

notes. One of the guy

49:01

with the sword snowman is what they

49:04

called him don't know why yeah but

49:06

he is the Jedi in Rogue One.

49:08

Oh he okay I have a fun fact

49:10

about him he's the fight choreographer for this

49:12

movie so that's why he's one of the

49:15

dudes. Awesome yeah yeah I mean he's

49:17

great yeah I love him in Rogue One. Anyway

49:19

they're like where we going first and they're

49:21

like where else the house of pain and

49:23

I was like kinky all right what we up

49:25

to? And it is this

49:27

club is like how do I explain the

49:29

vibe if Spice Girls were

49:32

vampires? No it's it's like

49:34

if hackers also drank blood. How

49:37

dare you? I'm right you know I'm

49:39

right. How dare you bring in one

49:41

of my favorite 90s movies the Angelina

49:43

Jolie Matthew Allard hit hackers. How dare

49:45

you say Lilar? I

49:48

choose to say his name correctly

49:50

Paige thank you. Okay all right

49:52

anyway he's not gonna mind he's

49:54

trapped in that weird animatronic. Anyway

49:57

there's basically a blood rave because

50:00

This movie is basically the

50:02

Matrix sequels with vampires. It is 100% It

50:06

is like the production team that

50:08

did the Matrix did a summer

50:10

school Right and this is their

50:12

students producing a film about vampires

50:14

at the end Yeah, but it's

50:16

also Guillermo del Toro like that's

50:18

what the crazy like Guillermo del

50:20

Toro Deranged but like the body

50:22

horror stuff is so good in

50:24

this. Oh hold that hold that

50:27

yeah Yeah, you could

50:29

say it's probably some most of the

50:31

actual Matrix people at this point because

50:33

they're like using that Yeah, Agent Smith

50:35

stuff in that final fight. Yeah, I

50:37

think it probably is it is very

50:39

dated, but it's really good Yeah, it

50:42

one they use it sparingly which I think to their

50:44

credit Yeah, but what they do in this scene is

50:46

this is the one where they have like people piercing

50:48

people's tongues on the dance floor They got that lady

50:50

with the open spine. Yeah, they're like putting

50:53

razor blades in their mouth and making

50:55

out like they're Chewies or something. It's

50:57

crazy being a vampire Seems

50:59

terrible because you have to love

51:01

EDM and Overcrowded rave

51:03

stuff and like I just I'm too old

51:06

and I can't imagine like as a 240

51:09

year old I would love those more you know

51:11

well That's why you never really see the old

51:13

vampires at those clubs like that like old Ferratus

51:16

they're up in there like sweets. They're

51:19

up in their mansions You know I'm

51:21

saying the young for a twos are out

51:23

in them clubs. You know I'm saying yeah I

51:25

want a GI Joe base Mikey

51:28

if you got turned into a vampire in

51:30

300 years You

51:32

would have a villain base on a

51:34

volcano like that is your trajectory if

51:36

you live forever 100%

51:39

and then the bottom floor would be the

51:41

orgy with all the bill the vampires he

51:43

wants to fuck yeah, of course Oh, yeah,

51:45

I'm gonna tell you right now. They would

51:47

be too late. It would definitely be a vampire Volcanic

51:49

GI Joe Cobra base of course I

51:52

don't know if we are going to

51:54

just randomly go out and fight terrorists

51:56

like GI Joe Oh, you mean like

51:58

Team America? No like GI

52:00

Joe, which was a NATO-backed

52:03

organization of special operatives. Wow,

52:05

Mikey got into lore on

52:07

the Joes. I

52:10

was not aware they were sanctioned by

52:12

NATO. I think Mikey doesn't want to

52:14

talk about this movie. He just wants

52:16

to talk about GI Joe. This movie

52:18

is pretty much a GI Joe movie. And

52:21

there's a lot of things to support that claim.

52:25

And I don't know, we would go out and

52:27

fight random terrorist groups, dressed up as like, you're

52:29

a sailor, and then you are, you know,

52:32

crash in whatever, whatever her name is,

52:34

trash, trash and crash. You're like this

52:36

close to pitching me special forces, the

52:39

village people, and I'm here for it.

52:41

That's what GI Joe was. I know,

52:43

I know, you're absolutely right. But

52:51

listen, that's such a brave stance to take, I

52:54

love it. But if you're gonna do it, like

52:56

have laser guns and stuff as well, I mean

52:58

like, and then go out and

53:00

take out, you know, just random terrorist groups,

53:02

or on the other side, I'd storm a

53:04

parliament and then also take over the country.

53:06

So like, there's only two ways to go

53:08

once you get a volcanic base. Maybe you

53:10

do both, I don't know. Maybe you can

53:13

have it all, Paige. I don't know,

53:15

but what we do have in this movie

53:17

is store brand sandstorm during the scene where

53:19

it's like just a couple notes off because

53:21

you like start, yeah, but

53:25

then it's like not quite. I mean, all the

53:27

music in this does sound like someone's about

53:29

to yell Mortal Kombat from the back of

53:31

the room. Like that's what it sounds like at

53:33

all points in this movie. Here's the

53:35

thing, if they were remaking this, it

53:38

would be like dubstep. They are remaking

53:40

this, right? Yeah, but I think

53:42

it's gonna be serious, but I think that'll be

53:44

good. Yeah, no, I'm looking forward to that. Yeah,

53:46

it's gonna be part of the MCU, but it's

53:48

also Mahershala Ali, which means it's gonna be amazing,

53:50

and so like, but it's not gonna be this.

53:53

It's not gonna be like blood orgy where people

53:55

are just like, duh duh duh duh

53:57

duh duh, boo. And

53:59

then just like blood. sprinklers there might be a

54:01

blood orgy I don't know I don't

54:03

know anyway there's blood orgy but underneath

54:05

them the Reapers are there to be

54:07

like hell yeah blood orgy well the

54:10

Reapers are gonna eat them they're gonna

54:12

attack eventually yeah yeah yeah and outside Norman Reedus

54:14

is in the van they put Chris Christopher said on

54:16

the roof cuz that's the safest place to be if

54:18

you have a leg injury and

54:20

it's like nine stories and gets down there fast

54:23

too they immediately spot some of

54:25

the guys now here's the thing though Nissa

54:27

the vampire girl runs into the guy and

54:29

he doesn't kill her and at one point

54:31

believe is like why didn't he kill you

54:33

and we'll find out later it's cuz he's

54:35

her brother oh my god but does he

54:37

know he's her brother he knows she doesn't

54:40

know it's the worst 23 and me ever

54:43

when they find out because he is just

54:45

like the first test baby

54:47

right yes but it is

54:49

her father's stuff off it is

54:51

her father's offspring I get that

54:54

and he's older which means that

54:56

maybe it was a test from

54:58

a while back I don't know cuz he's

55:00

his prog and joy yeah I

55:04

don't listen to Stevie vamp Vaughn so I

55:07

don't get your joke anyway we

55:10

realize that all of the ones turn into him

55:12

so it all looks like the same guy but

55:15

this is also like this scene

55:17

where like chaos everyone's running around

55:19

they're trying to kill people they

55:22

realize that like bullets don't work

55:24

steaks don't work the loaded garlic

55:27

garlic doesn't work though like yeah they they don't

55:29

try and shove it into a gun but like

55:31

they do try it yeah but even

55:33

cutting them into pieces doesn't work they

55:35

just stay in pieces it's

55:38

not until they find out essentially that

55:40

Norman Reedus blasts them with daylight they're

55:42

like big lamps that they have on

55:44

the van he calls in the like

55:47

lights the only thing that kills them

55:49

but by the time that happens two people

55:51

been bit one person has been like super

55:54

bit and the other one's doing the zombie

55:56

thing of like no I'm fine everything fun

55:58

yeah that's like the No,

56:01

not trash suicide, suicide. Move the

56:03

big guy, the hammer. Guy I

56:05

thought he was trash. I might be

56:07

Rothys a little while. They are the

56:09

ones they must. Priests they have does Rain

56:11

of G I Joe code words and they

56:14

all have a vaguely themed they existed. Be

56:16

A Priest is the ginger. When

56:18

he gets like dead it like

56:20

super he is mutilated and then

56:22

a bigger guy with the tattoos

56:24

is the one who's doing the

56:26

like. Sean's mom and son of

56:29

the dead like know just sneezes

56:31

mushroom them so they have to

56:33

kill. Priest is priest turn. But

56:35

then they also find one of

56:37

them the reapers caught in this

56:39

little covert. They're pretty sure they're

56:41

hiding in living down in the

56:43

covert, but they take this one.

56:45

We say it, she was own

56:47

arm off like a rat or

56:49

like a veto like an animal

56:51

would just because essentially they die off

56:54

as they don't see who is

56:56

already dying. Yeah, so they take

56:58

him back to do the creepiest

57:00

autopsy. Ever. We and we see

57:02

like all of it is it's

57:04

really like body horror is I

57:06

mean they did not show as

57:08

his dick so my you've got

57:10

nodes well for of a planet

57:12

sized that is famous for it's

57:14

pregnancies and it's sexual reproductive vampires

57:16

or would you say it same

57:18

as for the A certainly and

57:20

is in our universe Yes. Right

57:22

eye on for the movies. I don't think

57:25

they want us to focus on that, we've

57:27

just hyper fixated on it. But also in

57:29

the midst of all this blame Cheeses the

57:31

main guy and they have their own weird

57:33

karate seen in the middle of that. enough

57:35

with no weapon. Live in a church because

57:37

he he turns around is like wait I

57:40

know kung fu and a leg but I

57:42

got you a creature or whatever like what

57:44

is this. Yeah, but this is where he's like

57:46

we want the same thing. they're not telling you

57:48

the truth like yeah to listen to me and

57:50

blaze like know and the light comes through so

57:52

he runs or Led Zeppelin much. Like boy is

57:54

working with the vampires. The killed this

57:56

god right? and this guy wants to

57:58

turn Blade over. Try to kill

58:01

the vampires, you know, right? So it's

58:03

like World of Blades allegiance really lie

58:05

amongst these you people. He hates It

58:08

Summed up on this brilliant quote: Is

58:10

the enemy of my enemy, my friends or

58:12

my enemy and he just say that.

58:16

This movie both shows and tells you

58:18

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dot. But. Also we cut to

59:37

Vampire king castle where the lawyers is

59:40

like sure you know everyone's i to

59:42

do this thing and he's just like

59:44

yeah of course you like even your

59:46

daughter is like can uncut over that

59:48

bridge Shiva yep thought the hell yeah.

59:51

My. Daughter who gives a shit

59:53

like he's the worst. He's terrible.

59:55

i got a whole i got a

59:57

whole did circular display a few your

1:00:00

daughters downstairs don't worry about it because

1:00:02

this is another movie much

1:00:06

like the Anne Rice one we did

1:00:09

Queen of the dams that yes that

1:00:11

also had a blood jacuzzi and like

1:00:13

I love a good jacuzzi honey blood

1:00:15

in it but like I'm always down

1:00:17

for a jacuzzi so you're not

1:00:19

you're not a vampire

1:00:22

no but if it would make me stay looking

1:00:24

young and you could tell me where the blood

1:00:26

came from I might be convinced the worst

1:00:28

part about a blood jacuzzi hot tub

1:00:30

is that it's always at 98.6 degrees

1:00:36

and it kind of smells like high tide

1:00:38

because when blood gets old it

1:00:40

really kind of smells not great yeah maybe

1:00:42

it's not a good idea how to juice

1:00:44

jacuzzi a juice uzi Oh

1:00:46

fake blood jacuzzi a man I think I

1:00:49

would ruin a jacuzzi oh yeah but

1:00:51

not real blood wouldn't ruin a jacuzzi

1:00:53

it's like way thicker than

1:00:55

any blood that appears in this movie

1:00:58

dude at the end of this movie

1:01:00

blade comes out of like a fucking

1:01:02

punch bowl of Kool-Aid and fights hellboy

1:01:04

to death and I was like oh

1:01:07

yeah I was so excited but that

1:01:10

blood was not blood it was high

1:01:12

C at best yeah yeah I love

1:01:14

that about this movie I believe it

1:01:17

was high A negative type

1:01:23

a for ass-kicking yeah but this is the first

1:01:25

time we see someone heal in a bloodbath that's

1:01:28

gonna come back later I mean Whistler talked about

1:01:30

it this is the first time we see somebody

1:01:32

do it anyway they do the autopsy they find

1:01:34

out there's bone around the heart but there's a

1:01:36

place on the side where you can stab them

1:01:39

and still get the heart and this is where

1:01:41

they open the mouth that we find out that

1:01:43

it's got like predator mouth with like snake things

1:01:45

that like yeah some do you so you kind

1:01:47

of like are paralyzed which is also sort

1:01:50

of a vampire thing right sometimes when

1:01:52

the vampires bite in some lores it's

1:01:54

like glamour you yeah yeah it's like very

1:01:56

sexual and like very you know like you're

1:01:58

into it you know Yeah,

1:02:00

but also they've got a tongue that looks

1:02:03

like a face hugger and it like well.

1:02:05

I Literally gags

1:02:08

almost every time I saw one up

1:02:10

close. I don't know man that I

1:02:12

bet that Mikey know mouth can do

1:02:14

some things Mikey

1:02:19

saw this and he was like yo what

1:02:21

that little mouth do no cuz it's

1:02:23

it what I mean They can unhinge

1:02:25

their jaw and then a circular thing

1:02:27

with like things that wrap around comes

1:02:29

in I mean like it's a day

1:02:32

they are teeth Mikey teeth you

1:02:34

haven't considered the teeth You haven't

1:02:36

considered the teeth it like cracks

1:02:38

down the chin So it's almost

1:02:40

like your chin opens side

1:02:42

to side so that you have like predator

1:02:44

mouth Oh, yeah, the creature design in

1:02:46

this is great. It's Terrified

1:02:48

yeah, but it's del Toro

1:02:51

right like yeah Oh, yeah, that's his

1:02:53

thing when I saw that come up at the

1:02:55

end because I did not pay attention to the

1:02:57

opening credits I was like oh that makes so

1:02:59

much sense. Yeah, that's why the creature designs

1:03:02

a man I know cuz the creature designs

1:03:04

amazing anyway This is how we learn

1:03:06

and and also we learn that even after

1:03:08

it's dead its weird stomach hole still wants

1:03:10

to drink blood Creepy cuz the brain

1:03:12

is dead Mikey, but the body

1:03:14

still thirsts. Yes That's literally

1:03:17

a line of dialogue blade says in

1:03:19

this movie. That's the title of my

1:03:21

dating profile So

1:03:26

what you're saying is you're vaccinated because you're brain dead,

1:03:28

but the body's still thirst You know

1:03:30

this movie does however prove QAnon

1:03:32

right because at the very beginning

1:03:34

They're like there's this new blood-borne

1:03:36

virus that like mutated, but we

1:03:38

come to find out it was

1:03:40

manufactured in a lab It was

1:03:42

it was manufactured in a lab, and

1:03:45

if only we could stop eating those

1:03:47

delicious bat sandwiches I'm just

1:03:49

saying the earth is flat. I made a great joke

1:03:51

at the gym today. Would you guys like to hear

1:03:53

it? Okay, she was like you can use these balls

1:03:55

And I know these balls aren't as young as they

1:03:57

are as good and young as they use The

1:04:00

you never know what you said to her

1:04:02

that work is a joke is this sounds

1:04:04

like sexual assault? Like three? Like modeling the

1:04:07

service you like. I know these balls are

1:04:09

old and worn out loud like O Sea

1:04:11

would say this, Are you okay? I'll sit

1:04:13

through the glass. And other arab pods

1:04:15

has be flipped. Out a second and

1:04:18

I was like you tell me mad

1:04:20

decent man made my boss who and

1:04:22

M's I like the gotta be loud

1:04:25

the the rails like that of that

1:04:27

does suffer struggles of be in a

1:04:29

white man with other people don't have

1:04:32

the w we're when they're older ones.

1:04:34

does the universal understand it is hang

1:04:36

lower pages do and sometimes is like

1:04:38

sorry research and sad sack to magazine

1:04:41

the. Our I was i was with the was

1:04:43

good with these old but. There

1:04:45

are holes are old and worn out on like you

1:04:47

tell me. Anyway back to this movie.

1:04:49

so also in this autopsy then we

1:04:52

definitely that one guy that but it's

1:04:54

also are there like okay so nothing's

1:04:56

gonna work. We gotta come up with

1:04:58

white based weapons. We make the you've

1:05:00

even flash bang grenade ever going after

1:05:02

taxes in daylight by? Here's the thing

1:05:05

know flashlights know why they don't bring

1:05:07

the whole life. They. Bring guns

1:05:09

blazing. Seventy node does it

1:05:11

work little. Really? no reason

1:05:13

to bring any other. Thing.

1:05:15

Venmo flash light? yeah or like a

1:05:18

you V like right? right? Like they

1:05:20

need to go to their like high

1:05:22

school cousin's house and steal a you

1:05:24

will be like from as marijuana grow

1:05:27

farm. I just go down there. Was

1:05:29

this movie so also in this autopsy

1:05:31

then we definitely that one guy got

1:05:33

that but it's also are there like

1:05:35

okay so nothing's going to work. We

1:05:37

gonna come up with light based weapons.

1:05:40

We make the you've even flash bang

1:05:42

grenade ever going after taxes in daylight

1:05:44

by? Here's the thing know flashlights no

1:05:46

fly. They don't bring the flashlights. They.

1:05:48

Bring guns and blades and stuff the

1:05:50

they know doesn't work. There's literally no

1:05:53

reason to bring any other things

1:05:55

and a flash light. Yeah. Or

1:05:57

like a you realize right? right? They

1:06:00

need to go to their like

1:06:02

high school cousin's house and steal

1:06:04

a UV light from his marijuana

1:06:06

grow farm And just go

1:06:08

down there with that that would be

1:06:11

more effective than the swords and guns

1:06:13

they bring with them Vampires aren't sending

1:06:15

us their best piece Hahahahaha No,

1:06:20

they're sending us Ron Perlman who at this point

1:06:22

in the movie says what you want us to

1:06:25

spray on some suck puppy nut juice He

1:06:27

does that is also a line

1:06:29

of dialogue from this dare.

1:06:31

I say perfect film But

1:06:36

they're gonna spray pheromones to attract the Reapers Then

1:06:38

they're gonna set off the light grenades

1:06:40

is like a whole thing so they go back

1:06:42

It does seem like not Reaper Prime, but

1:06:44

all of the sub Reapers if

1:06:47

you will uh-huh are very almost

1:06:50

Zombie is the Reapers down

1:06:52

line. Yes. Yes, right.

1:06:54

Yes, but the Reapers upstream Really

1:06:56

just Reaper Prime seems like as

1:06:58

far as cognition is concerned He

1:07:00

seems like a regular vampire right,

1:07:02

but all the other ones are

1:07:04

like zombie ish so like pheromones. Yeah

1:07:07

Definitely bring them in. Yeah. Yeah, she is

1:07:09

one of the most fun drag queens

1:07:11

to see so of course They want to

1:07:13

go see fair hell. Yeah, I've been watching the new

1:07:16

season is it good I I am

1:07:18

so behind on everything. I am a fan

1:07:20

anyway. I'm still having to like catch up

1:07:22

I didn't I realized I didn't finish power

1:07:24

book four colon for season two and so

1:07:26

I'm finishing that that sounds like some Terrence

1:07:29

Howard Madness he is not on it, but

1:07:31

it's a lot of like drugs and double

1:07:33

crossing anyway That's what I was thinking Yeah

1:07:35

So they spray the pheromones they split up

1:07:37

and unfortunately whistler gets caught with Ron Perlman

1:07:40

and the guy in the mess shirt and

1:07:42

they Beat the shit out of him to

1:07:44

pay back for the guy that they lost

1:07:46

in the initial raid Which is really stupid it is

1:07:49

so dumb because he's just

1:07:51

they're like on their side

1:07:53

on this mission Yeah, he

1:07:55

just whistling. It's so dumb, But

1:07:58

they spray the pheromones which attract. Them

1:08:00

to recover different channels they said I'll set of

1:08:02

like grenade. That. The vampires will use

1:08:04

any the light weapons even though they have the

1:08:06

go to the flash lights on and they won't

1:08:08

use them with. that makes. No sense to me

1:08:10

that the grenade such a I believe on

1:08:13

same as the U V like grenade that

1:08:15

they have that makes sense. They don't use

1:08:17

those they can't hide from those rare even

1:08:19

though they establish the suits earlier. But they

1:08:21

do all have a flashlight on the front

1:08:24

of their gun that they could use safely

1:08:26

right? I'm going to use another big movie

1:08:28

reference here to describe the grenade because it

1:08:30

to me it has the same vibe as

1:08:33

the Idiot grenade from Mom and Dad Save

1:08:35

the World, the Pick Me Up grenade. I

1:08:37

am. Unfamiliar. I'd sell for every

1:08:39

one. That's not you. What

1:08:41

has that? Well that's when a

1:08:43

family road for a big gets

1:08:45

abducted to outer space to a

1:08:48

planet. Kind of like Dude. But

1:08:50

everyone's really dumb and the grenade

1:08:52

just says pick me up and

1:08:54

every time they pick it up

1:08:56

it flashes light and they all

1:08:58

die. It's a great film starring

1:09:00

Press Christofferson is that I first

1:09:02

met my mom or dad. Save

1:09:04

the World is a classic. Okay,

1:09:06

I believe you as. You say

1:09:08

classic and know they don't

1:09:10

think so. I think it's

1:09:13

classic. In terms of years old.

1:09:15

As Jon Jon Lovitz is it it

1:09:17

was. Oh yeah he's the king of

1:09:20

the evil plan and I Wallace Shawn,

1:09:22

Eric Idle, Jeffrey Joan The the guy

1:09:24

from Ferris Bueller that was than later

1:09:26

convicted pedophile and we end up like

1:09:29

the dad and Kathy Ireland. I mean

1:09:31

I feel like when when Mike is

1:09:33

as his movies a classic what he

1:09:36

means it's a movie that happens. It

1:09:38

did exist at one time. Now the

1:09:40

If If. A pick me up grenade

1:09:42

you know it looks the it was the

1:09:44

say the same light is the same what

1:09:47

it was a like grenade it was the

1:09:49

say okay honestly look like some shit you'd

1:09:51

see in like konstantin except instead of you

1:09:53

be light it would be the holy light

1:09:55

of God or some shit like that. Yeah.

1:09:57

but that but here's what this is missing Because

1:10:01

if you're gonna have the weird holy light of

1:10:03

God weapons like the holy hand grenade of Antioch

1:10:05

What you really want is the Virgin

1:10:07

Mary to orb up out of a

1:10:10

pool of blood and lightsaber fight people

1:10:12

like that's the level That's what you

1:10:14

want. Yes. Anyway, I always want

1:10:16

the Pope's exorcist The

1:10:18

bomb lever gets stuck So they're all trying

1:10:20

to bail out but blade stays down there

1:10:22

because the light won't hurt him and manages to

1:10:25

detonate all the bombs killing like

1:10:27

Everybody we've lost most of

1:10:29

the vampires Whistler makes it

1:10:32

out alive and then we've got the like

1:10:34

main vampire gross for a two's daughter Yeah

1:10:36

And then Ron Perlman who conveniently was like

1:10:38

oh I was out of the way in

1:10:40

time But that's like all who survives like

1:10:43

they kill pretty much all the other dudes

1:10:45

He does get burned on half of his

1:10:47

face and so does the daughter too Yeah,

1:10:49

and then the princess vampire blade

1:10:52

feeds her right? Yes feeds

1:10:54

her his blood. Yeah to bring

1:10:56

her back Yeah, but as he's doing

1:10:58

that the vampire authority people show up

1:11:00

and shut it down and like pays

1:11:02

him and Whistler Oh, Cobra

1:11:05

they take them to Cobra headquarters and

1:11:07

she wakes up and She

1:11:10

is like Oh blade saved me and I still

1:11:12

have the family crest ring or whatever She's like

1:11:14

look at my signet ring that I'm just

1:11:16

showing you now at the very

1:11:18

moment You're gonna see another one that

1:11:20

reveals something about it We saw it a

1:11:23

little earlier in the movie. They just didn't call attention to

1:11:25

I guess that's fair Yeah, cuz he whispered don't

1:11:27

wexler all the secrets and gave him a signet

1:11:29

ring. Do we talk about this? Yes, I

1:11:31

was just about to get to that. Yeah.

1:11:33

Yeah. Yeah, he does that Yeah, so they

1:11:35

like tase blades, but then Whistler runs into

1:11:38

Nomak and gets the no back gives him the

1:11:40

ring and tells him all the secrets Whistler

1:11:43

climbs up they taste Whistler They wake up

1:11:45

at Cobra headquarters where of course they have

1:11:47

the James Bond scene of gross for a

1:11:49

two being like here's my grand

1:11:51

plan Here's this giant light-up cylinder

1:11:54

of fetuses because we're basically

1:11:56

doing vampire IVF But everyone's gonna be reapers because

1:11:58

you want to be on You

1:12:01

wanna be on top, and you

1:12:03

can't do anything about it because I have

1:12:05

Ron Perlman here who's gonna kill you. Okay,

1:12:07

cool, bye, and like, he leaves. But then

1:12:10

the vampire daughter's like, wait, I'm sorry, what

1:12:12

the fuck? Worst 23andMe ever. You're telling me

1:12:14

that I have a brother? And he's like,

1:12:16

yeah, we're about to fucking kill that dude.

1:12:19

And he kisses his sister

1:12:21

later on. Yeah. Well, they

1:12:23

take Blade to a room where they're gonna try

1:12:25

and drain him of all his blood into a

1:12:28

giant metal table so that they can synthesize it,

1:12:30

which I'm sure is gonna come up in the

1:12:32

next movie. It probably doesn't, actually. Even

1:12:35

better. The next movie they're gonna start and

1:12:37

they're gonna be like, Whistler is president. Here's

1:12:39

how it happened. Anyway,

1:12:42

Whistler fights Ron Perlman and at least knocks

1:12:44

him, like he gets out of the handcuffs,

1:12:46

knocks him down so that he can go

1:12:48

free Blade. But Blade is still in really

1:12:50

bad shape because he took all his blood

1:12:53

and they turned the life sucking machine up

1:12:55

to 50. Well, I

1:12:57

remember she's like, these like metal spikes go

1:12:59

through his arms and legs. Like, it's pretty

1:13:01

rough. I love it when I'm with the

1:13:03

girl and she turns her life sucking machine up to 50.

1:13:05

Not to 50! Put

1:13:11

me in the bloodbath! I

1:13:13

really don't know what that would do to you. This

1:13:16

is for posterity though, so be

1:13:18

honest. So they

1:13:20

run back into that main room where there's that

1:13:22

giant blood pool and Blade like dives into it

1:13:25

and Ron Perlman's trying to shoot him, but

1:13:27

he gets up and he's like, ha ha ha. They

1:13:30

try, oh, I totally missed the part where they're like,

1:13:32

he tries to detonate the bomb that's on the back

1:13:34

of Ron Perlman's head, which some people call him nipple

1:13:36

head during the movie because of it and that is

1:13:38

great. I love it. Dude,

1:13:40

the whole double bomb reveal was

1:13:42

insane to me. Yeah, because Norman Reedus

1:13:45

snatches it off his head. He's like, ha ha,

1:13:47

it's a dud bomb. And Blade is like, no,

1:13:49

I fucking knew you were fake as hell this

1:13:51

entire time, so it's a real bomb. Boom, motherfucker!

1:13:54

And Norman Reedus turns into a blood mist. He

1:13:56

literally just explodes and everyone's like, alright,

1:13:59

well we got a problem. plan to get back

1:14:01

to select oh shit except

1:14:03

for Chris Christopher who was like

1:14:05

man I was just starting to like that

1:14:07

guy and he has been aggressively I hate

1:14:09

that guy the whole movie best one-liner I

1:14:11

love it great

1:14:13

anyway so Blade goes into the blood

1:14:16

pool and comes out a new man

1:14:18

and kills the shit out of Ron

1:14:20

Pearlman it's so great literally

1:14:22

slices him in half it's amazing

1:14:25

oh yeah just in half amazing

1:14:28

I really do love the CGI that

1:14:30

they do in this because it

1:14:33

is very much like you see

1:14:35

Wesley's knife as Blade's fighting and

1:14:37

then he becomes sort of cartoony

1:14:40

almost animated it's kind of cool yeah

1:14:42

yeah yeah it's like sort of a

1:14:44

vibe I don't hate it and honestly

1:14:46

yeah it held up better because of that

1:14:48

in my mind no agree 100% because I

1:14:51

noticed it too but

1:14:53

I was like I'm kind of here for this yeah while

1:14:55

that's happening while all of that's happening to Blade meanwhile

1:14:57

in the vampire castle gross Rachu is just

1:15:00

like what I'm betting on

1:15:02

the winning team and yeah I guess it's your brother

1:15:04

or whatever and she's just like what the fuck dad

1:15:06

like what the fuck and of course now he's like

1:15:08

coming to kill them and

1:15:11

so he's like Reaper Prime is

1:15:13

like running and he's just like

1:15:15

follow like Matthew Barry in IT

1:15:17

crowd and it's amazing I

1:15:19

love that reference thank you

1:15:22

so much for that I love it the

1:15:25

first thing I ever saw Matthew Barry in and I immediately knew I loved

1:15:27

that man star

1:15:30

but you're right he does and the dad

1:15:32

is trying to do like that whole like he's

1:15:34

trying to get her into a safe room yeah

1:15:37

yeah but then like eventually

1:15:39

he like embraces Reaper Prime and is like

1:15:41

I've always loved you you've always had my

1:15:43

son or whatever and he's like

1:15:46

you never loved me dad so he bites him

1:15:48

and kills him and his

1:15:50

blood is like super green

1:15:52

yeah I think it's because he's

1:15:54

really old okay but as that's happening

1:15:56

Blade is just fighting like wave after

1:15:58

wave of armed guards and this is

1:16:00

where he like kicks through a

1:16:03

helmet and it cracks like an egg and

1:16:05

then smashes a dude through the glass floor

1:16:07

but then he just like pops up like

1:16:09

it's nothing and it's I know it's supposed

1:16:11

to be like wow he's so fast but

1:16:13

it really reads as a comedic moment because

1:16:15

he just like smashes that dude through the

1:16:17

glass and then he's just like all

1:16:21

right who's next

1:16:24

it's amazing but so they make their way

1:16:26

out towards the helipad but by the helipad

1:16:28

in kind of the safe room Nissa has

1:16:30

like triggered all the security stuff so it's

1:16:33

just her and her dad she lets him

1:16:35

bite she lets her brother bite her dad

1:16:37

yeah who dies because he doesn't actually bite

1:16:39

him with the like venom stuff no

1:16:41

he just like bites him to kill him yeah and

1:16:43

then she's like okay do me too and

1:16:46

I think she means like kill me but

1:16:48

he bites her with the venom so she's

1:16:50

gonna turn yeah in comes blade who for

1:16:52

some reason has a five and a half

1:16:55

minute fist fight with this mess I mean

1:16:57

we know at this point neither of

1:16:59

them can be hurt in a fist

1:17:01

fight right so I was like right

1:17:03

so why are we doing this I

1:17:05

mean I do love watching Wesley Stipes

1:17:07

do his action star realness while morphing

1:17:09

into this like anime-ish adjacent sort of

1:17:12

style of fight of course of course

1:17:14

because of the CGI I was sort

1:17:16

of here for it but what are

1:17:18

we doing like no one there's no

1:17:20

stakes in a fist fight with these

1:17:22

two dudes no but he does eventually

1:17:24

blade gets his sword and gets him in

1:17:26

the side so he gets his heart and

1:17:28

the guy's like oh I'm actually dying okay

1:17:31

cool so he dies he actually takes

1:17:33

himself out though like yeah he

1:17:35

pushes it in further yeah blade goes over to Nissa and

1:17:37

he's just like oh no you're turning and she's like I

1:17:39

want to die while I'm still a vampire take me out

1:17:41

so I can see the sun and as she watches the

1:17:44

sunrise she burns and okay

1:17:47

but what if because she had drank

1:17:49

his blood she became a daywalker yeah

1:17:51

yeah exactly right and then he like

1:17:54

has to like back up on the

1:17:56

like playful flirtation that they've been having

1:17:58

this whole movie Because now she's

1:18:00

gonna live and gonna be like okay, right don't

1:18:03

talk that mess if you can't deliver like

1:18:05

every great relationship She

1:18:07

dissolves the next morning She

1:18:12

dissolves And then

1:18:14

blade goes and eats a quesadilla and

1:18:16

then blade leaves the

1:18:18

country he goes to London

1:18:22

Track down that guy from the very beginning who's at

1:18:24

a peep show and he's like, oh, do you think

1:18:26

I forgot about you? And you're just like ha ha

1:18:28

ha yeah blade and he gets like one last kill

1:18:30

in So

1:18:35

having seen the movie having talked about the

1:18:37

movie what'd you guys think about the gamble

1:18:39

does or a masterpiece blade to I love

1:18:42

It I'm all in on blade

1:18:44

beautiful hot trash. Yes. Yes. I agree.

1:18:46

Is it a good movie? No, it

1:18:48

is not but it is fun to

1:18:50

watch and I will watch it again

1:18:52

It's as good as mom and dad

1:18:54

saved the world plus millennium Oh

1:18:56

god, Wesley Snipes has also said just to

1:18:59

burn a fun fact that this is his

1:19:01

favorite blade movie So hell yeah, Wesley nice.

1:19:03

There you go. This is not the one

1:19:05

where they CGI his eyes on I

1:19:07

don't think so. I think that's the

1:19:09

next one Why did they have to

1:19:11

CGI his eyes on because in the scene he

1:19:13

refused to open his eyes because he thought it

1:19:16

would look Cooler. Oh, no that I think that's

1:19:18

the next one. That's the next one. I Love

1:19:21

this the next one gets Progressively

1:19:24

weirder that's some late-stage

1:19:26

Marlon Brando shit, and I'm here

1:19:28

for it Yes, but Paige do you

1:19:30

have any fun facts for us? I

1:19:33

do well here it is with your five backs

1:19:36

Reaper fun back Oh

1:19:38

Reaper was good Thank you

1:19:40

over 30 members of the cast

1:19:42

and crew were temporarily blinded by

1:19:44

the UV lights in the

1:19:46

vampire Autopsy Wow okay like all the

1:19:48

ones that they had on yeah Not

1:19:51

the one you would think well the other ones

1:19:53

were heavily CGI right now

1:19:57

Apparently gross for a few name is overlord

1:19:59

demos kenos But he mentions

1:20:01

that the virus that causes vampirism, so

1:20:03

he identifies vampirism as a virus. Yes.

1:20:05

He claims that it's a kind of

1:20:08

parvovirus. But if you watch on

1:20:10

closed captioning, it just says horrible virus because parvovirus

1:20:12

is kind of an obscure term. But

1:20:14

that's a family of viruses and the

1:20:16

B13 strain of that virus infects humans.

1:20:19

Now it's kind of like similar to,

1:20:21

I don't know that it's similar to

1:20:23

parvo in dogs, but I think that might be where we get

1:20:25

some of the name. That's the only time I've

1:20:27

ever heard parvo, right? Because it's like a scary

1:20:29

thing your dog could get, right? Maybe. I'm

1:20:32

not sure. That's probably wrong. But

1:20:34

what I will tell you is

1:20:36

that that B13 strain meets the

1:20:38

requirements for vampirism in a fictional

1:20:41

environment. So that strain causes sensitivity

1:20:43

to daylight in some people. It

1:20:46

infects your blood and bone marrow. And

1:20:48

it can be transmitted by saliva. And

1:20:51

since most people outside are unfamiliar with

1:20:53

the term, they just kind of called

1:20:55

it horrible virus. So there you go.

1:20:57

Fair enough. Now, Norman Reedus'

1:20:59

character at times wears a t-shirt featuring

1:21:02

the logo of the Bureau of Paranormal

1:21:04

Research and Defense, which is a reference

1:21:06

to Hellboy, the comic. Yeah. Which Guillermo

1:21:09

del Toro will, of course, direct as

1:21:11

well or go on to direct. Well,

1:21:13

with Ron Perlman, who was also in this movie.

1:21:16

With Ron Perlman. Yep. Jake has a shirt that

1:21:18

has that logo on it. You can buy them.

1:21:20

They were actually pretty fun. Nice. So speaking

1:21:23

of Ron Perlman, his character is Reinhardt.

1:21:25

Yeah. Who essentially in his actor's secret

1:21:27

was that Reinhardt might have been a

1:21:30

neo-Nazi. But that's why he asked Blade

1:21:32

if he can blush. But that's actually

1:21:34

based on a real incident that happened

1:21:36

to Wesley Snipes. What? Yes. Someone attempting

1:21:39

to be racist asked him that. And

1:21:42

so Snipes asked for that to be

1:21:44

included into the script for antagonism

1:21:46

between the two characters. So

1:21:48

that's why it comes back around at the end as well. I

1:21:51

love that because he literally uses that. He

1:21:53

throws that line back in his face right

1:21:55

before he cuts him in half. Yep.

1:21:57

Nice. So this movie comes out in two.

1:22:01

2002 so this predates pretty much all

1:22:03

of the current Marvel MCU But

1:22:06

in the House of Pain the stained glass window

1:22:08

is actually a replica of dr. Stranges

1:22:10

eye of agamotto from the comics. Hell

1:22:12

yeah, because Guillermo del Toro was a

1:22:14

fan of the dr. Strange comics and

1:22:17

really wanted to make a dr. Strange

1:22:19

movie and at the time he attached

1:22:21

Neil Gay Neil I never get Guyman

1:22:24

game in game in a man. No game in game in

1:22:26

I've always heard it as Neil Gaiman I don't know but yeah,

1:22:28

I always heard Guyman, but I'm probably wrong

1:22:30

Anyway, they put together a script

1:22:32

and a project at a pitch for a

1:22:34

dr. Strange movie at this time and Marvel

1:22:37

rejected it but so that window is

1:22:39

kind of their shout out to it.

1:22:41

Nice. That's awesome Now the idea of

1:22:43

reapers having tongues or stingers coming out

1:22:45

of their mouth is actually inspired by

1:22:47

Polish folktales Where the vampires

1:22:50

of Polish folktales have a stinger or

1:22:52

finger? Coming out of the mouth

1:22:54

that they used to suck blood rather

1:22:56

than teeth don't like that This is

1:22:58

also similar to the true knots in

1:23:00

dr. Sleep that have a horn So

1:23:02

this is something that gets used a

1:23:04

couple other places. Okay, but yeah So

1:23:07

Wesley Snipes was not always available every day

1:23:09

for filming which came out in 2002 because

1:23:11

in 2002 He was in three

1:23:14

other films aside from blade what yeah, he

1:23:16

was in a bunch of movies that year

1:23:18

So instead of waiting for him to become

1:23:20

available the crew shot another actor who was

1:23:22

not Wesley stunt double for scenes Where it

1:23:24

wasn't necessary to see his face. The

1:23:27

first scene is when they're high writing in

1:23:29

the helicopter to meet Damaskino So

1:23:31

you notice that you never really see blades

1:23:33

full face or if you do it's only

1:23:35

for a second Yeah, the second was after

1:23:38

the autopsy and she confronts blade in his

1:23:40

quarters about his attitude toward the blood pack

1:23:42

Yeah, yeah, they're shot in shot

1:23:44

reverse shots. They're never in the shot together

1:23:46

That's wild because in that scene she's

1:23:48

not doing her best acting like she's

1:23:50

not terrible in this movie But in

1:23:52

that scene, she is very much like

1:23:54

standing and delivering And I wonder if

1:23:56

that that's because she was acting opposite.

1:23:58

No one is those shots.

1:24:01

Yep. Wild. Okay.

1:24:04

Now, that's also a thing that will continue

1:24:06

into the next Blade movie, because this is

1:24:08

the thing about, the one thing I knew

1:24:10

about Blade before coming into this is that

1:24:12

the further you get into the sequels, the

1:24:15

more erratic Wesley Snipes's behavior on set became.

1:24:17

Yes. Like courtesy of stories from

1:24:19

other people that were around. Because he pretty much goes

1:24:21

to like the tax evasion stuff like

1:24:23

right after the third one? The third

1:24:25

one, but on set on the third one, he

1:24:27

goes completely method and he's never out of character.

1:24:30

It's like a whole thing. Anyway,

1:24:32

yes. I love it. I can't wait till

1:24:34

we get to it. Now, in this

1:24:36

movie, the House of Pain sequence was

1:24:38

actually supposed to have a full extra

1:24:40

sequence where Nissa encounters essentially

1:24:43

a vampire pimp as

1:24:45

she searches the upstairs hall. Of course.

1:24:48

Now, that was originally a role that was

1:24:50

offered to Michael Jackson, but

1:24:53

he could not complete it due to

1:24:55

scheduling conflicts. And unfortunately, well, he would

1:24:57

die only about five or six years

1:24:59

later, but they ultimately

1:25:01

just cut the sequence entirely for

1:25:04

pacing reasons. And honestly, good job,

1:25:06

guys. This movie never drags. It's

1:25:10

cooking baby the whole time. Oh,

1:25:12

yeah. But honestly, I would have

1:25:14

loved to MJ vampire pimps. So

1:25:16

like, fucking why?

1:25:18

I know the only movie

1:25:20

this, this is the only one in

1:25:22

the original blade trilogy blade and then

1:25:24

blade trinity, which comes out two years

1:25:26

later. It's the only one

1:25:29

that used its original written ending. Both

1:25:31

blade and trinity go through

1:25:34

extensive reshoots to replace their

1:25:36

original climaxes. So interesting. Okay.

1:25:39

Yeah. Now this also goes back to

1:25:41

some Marvel stuff because blade is part of the

1:25:43

Marvel universe. Yeah, it's one of the first MCU movies. Yeah.

1:25:47

David S. Goyer's original idea was for

1:25:49

Morbius to be the primary villain.

1:25:52

But Marvel said they wanted to retain the rights

1:25:54

to make a separate franchise out of Morbius. They

1:25:57

never did. Uh, recently. I love

1:25:59

that. Yes, because recently it's

1:26:01

been Morbund time. It's Morbund time,

1:26:03

but Morbund time is not part

1:26:05

of the MCU It's a complicated

1:26:07

rights dispute. Yeah, so they changed

1:26:09

the story slightly So Jared no

1:26:11

Mac could be the primary villain

1:26:14

Instead now del Toro

1:26:16

and Goyer did not necessarily get

1:26:19

along Kind of he

1:26:21

thinks that his dialogue was not great, but

1:26:23

honestly disagree But here's the

1:26:26

thing del Toro writes beautiful. Yeah, he does

1:26:28

But that's not that's not this

1:26:30

movie though like although I

1:26:32

bet a del Toro written blade would

1:26:35

be good Yeah, it would be a

1:26:37

very different vibe than right this and

1:26:39

the first blade. Yes The

1:26:42

one character in the mesh shirt. His

1:26:44

name is Chupa Chupa. Yeah. Yeah It's

1:26:46

it's a nickname based on Chupa Cabra

1:26:49

Which is wild that they gave that name

1:26:52

to a random white dude But sure a

1:26:55

lot of people have theorized that the Reaper

1:26:57

vampires in this film serves the Inspiration

1:27:00

for game road del Toro's vampire series the

1:27:02

strain it looks a lot

1:27:04

like that It looks a lot like

1:27:06

that and I got stuck in a hospital one

1:27:08

time and that was the only thing on I

1:27:10

watched like 12 Episodes of it and that's your

1:27:12

fucking slap. See like a bad thing to watch

1:27:14

in a hospital, but yeah, that's fair I was

1:27:17

just doing albuter. I was like huffing

1:27:19

on that albuter. Any guesses who that actor

1:27:22

was who that could have been in

1:27:25

2002 Older. Oh,

1:27:27

I'm gonna say William Hurt.

1:27:30

Okay, Mikey the guy

1:27:32

from babe Just the old

1:27:34

guy the old farmer from babe. Okay

1:27:37

No, it was Tim Curry William

1:27:45

Hurt was cuz I was like

1:27:47

I need someone vaguely British but

1:27:49

willing to wear a lot of

1:27:51

makeup. Um, yeah Yeah, no, you're

1:27:53

right, but I think I also

1:27:55

sort of was in that same realm

1:27:57

Yeah, and there's your friend back. There's also there's

1:27:59

tons of fun facts about this online. It's a very

1:28:01

famous movie go find them for yourself but those are the ones

1:28:03

recovering today. Well think of those fun facts,

1:28:05

Paige, let's talk a little bit about box office.

1:28:07

So what do you think the production budget was

1:28:09

for Blade 2 in 2002? Blade 2, the bladening.

1:28:12

Yes, Roe v. Blade if you will.

1:28:17

Blade 2 colon Roe v.

1:28:20

Blade is so great. Yeah,

1:28:22

because Chris Christopher's then just like

1:28:24

lights up that thing of fetuses and then they

1:28:26

just bounce all over the floor. It's like

1:28:28

unplanned parenthood and

1:28:31

just like closes it down.

1:28:33

I think you mean giant

1:28:36

sized caviar. Oh no. Would

1:28:40

you eat human caviar Mikey? Those

1:28:42

are not human. They're humanoid, I'm

1:28:44

out. I couldn't do it. Anyway,

1:28:46

60 million? Okay Mikey, what

1:28:48

do you think? I'm gonna say closer to 50. Okay,

1:28:51

you guys are technically on either side of

1:28:53

it but Mikey you're technically closer. It's 54

1:28:56

million dollars and again that was 22 years

1:28:59

ago so that would be like 91.4 million

1:29:02

dollars today cuz inflation be stupid.

1:29:05

Well spent. Yeah, this movie came

1:29:07

out on March 22nd 2002 and

1:29:09

it was of course

1:29:14

number one in the box office

1:29:16

the week it came out. It

1:29:18

beat the number two movie Ice

1:29:20

Age. It beat the number three

1:29:22

movie was a re-release of the

1:29:24

extraterrestrial ET. Number four

1:29:26

was Showtime and number five was

1:29:29

Resident Evil. What do you think

1:29:31

Blade brought in in its opening

1:29:33

weekend? Again that's Blade

1:29:35

2, excuse me. I'm gonna say opening

1:29:37

weekend at number one in the middle of March

1:29:39

in 2002 it brought in 42 million. Okay, I'm

1:29:42

gonna say 31. Mikey you are closer

1:29:49

in fact very close it's 32.5 million dollars. This

1:29:51

movie was in the box

1:29:56

office for a total of 10 weeks. It

1:29:59

was in the top five for the first three weeks,

1:30:01

top ten for the first four weeks and

1:30:03

then fell out of the top ten and

1:30:05

then eventually out of theaters after a ten

1:30:08

week run. But what do you think it made

1:30:10

domestically at the box office?

1:30:13

A hundred and four.

1:30:16

Ok, Mikey what do you think? A

1:30:18

hundred and twelve. That's a little high.

1:30:20

It was eighty one point six million

1:30:22

dollars domestically however it also made another

1:30:25

seventy two point six million dollars in

1:30:27

turn ash which brings the total to

1:30:29

a hundred and fifty four point three

1:30:32

million dollars and if you adjust that

1:30:34

for inflation that's roughly two hundred and

1:30:36

sixty one point four million dollars today.

1:30:39

That's what's up. So it made

1:30:41

money. Literally a hundred million

1:30:43

more than its budget is what it brought

1:30:46

in just in worldwide box. That's

1:30:48

why it gets a third. It did great guys but

1:30:50

that's your box office. So Mikey

1:30:52

do you want to hit them with that scary scale?

1:30:54

Yeah our scary scale is a scale of one to

1:30:56

ten of how scary we found the film today. Our

1:30:59

one example is Ghostbusters. Our ten example is Texas Chainsaw

1:31:01

Massacre Page. Um

1:31:03

this is one for me. It's just a good

1:31:05

time. I'm not scared at all. I'm

1:31:08

gonna give it a three because that body

1:31:10

horror fucked with me. Hated it. I'm

1:31:12

gonna go ahead and give it a one. Ok. And

1:31:15

that's our scary scale. So

1:31:17

this week you both equally made

1:31:19

us watch Blade 2. Why

1:31:22

are you making us watch next week? Well next week

1:31:24

we have a special guest. Because

1:31:26

of that we're all watching The

1:31:29

Blackening. Yeah. So your homework

1:31:31

is to watch The Blackening that literally

1:31:33

just came out last year. Yeah. Yeah

1:31:36

it came out in June. We wanted to do it in

1:31:38

June but then the strike happened. And yeah

1:31:40

summer summer. Yeah but we're

1:31:42

doing it now and we have an awesome special guest.

1:31:44

We can't wait for you all to meet her. Yay.

1:31:47

Yeah. So Mikey do you have a review

1:31:49

for us to read? No I didn't look at one. I'll remind you that's

1:31:51

what we do now. So

1:31:54

while you're looking one up let me read

1:31:56

one of our Spotify comments that we got

1:31:58

on our most recent The Lost

1:32:00

Boys episode and I'm gonna go with this

1:32:02

one that came in a few minutes ago

1:32:05

Actually an hour ago from Erin

1:32:07

and she says I'm sorry Did

1:32:10

nobody catch Todd's mom's spaghetti

1:32:12

slash M&M joke and

1:32:15

I listened back to it And yeah, they

1:32:17

did miss my M&M joke both of them

1:32:19

did sorry It was nice to know that

1:32:21

some listeners got it to Erin Thanks for

1:32:23

dropping that comment if you had one

1:32:25

shot one opportunity to make a joke

1:32:30

To impress your friends who are not paying

1:32:32

attention at this moment That's what happened to

1:32:34

me last week, but the listeners heard it

1:32:36

so Mikey who's your view? Are you gonna

1:32:39

read this week? I'm gonna read ginger toad.

1:32:41

It's long. Well, what is ginger toad

1:32:43

have the same? So solidarity

1:32:46

with the pod is the title

1:32:48

Okay, so I'm on my ninth

1:32:50

or tenth re-listen of all the

1:32:52

episodes containing the current host lineup.

1:32:55

Well, that's very

1:32:57

intense and scary for me, so Yeah

1:33:03

Just can't bring myself to go back before

1:33:05

this iteration Maybe you

1:33:07

guys should revisit some more the older movies. Huh?

1:33:09

Let me tell you we are we did we did

1:33:11

a whole month of it Yeah, anyway as I'm

1:33:14

re-listening I find more and more Solidarity

1:33:16

with y'all Todd I to wear layers and jeans

1:33:18

in the house Thank you

1:33:21

I'm currently sitting into my room listening

1:33:23

to the bride of chucky episode again

1:33:25

and jeans a sweatshirt and boots off

1:33:27

them boots in the house What the

1:33:30

I'm I'm wearing only if it's flooded No

1:33:33

bra and then I've got pajama pants

1:33:35

on that have Jason and Michael Myers

1:33:37

on them I'm wearing an undershirt

1:33:39

a button-down shirt and a hoodie

1:33:41

jeans shoes. This is my person.

1:33:44

I understand this person I'm way

1:33:46

to poo style just this red

1:33:48

t-shirt on nothing else. I

1:33:50

respect it That's how I was for my first meeting

1:33:52

this morning. What's up? And

1:33:55

then he she got the person goes on

1:33:57

in G. I have eight I

1:34:00

have seven dogs and a cat what

1:34:02

it's a long story always is three

1:34:05

But since my daughter and her boyfriend are living here

1:34:07

now. I've added four more dogs Yeah,

1:34:10

they're not all hers Mikey. I

1:34:12

too love Mikey movies as a gen-xer. I'm especially

1:34:14

fond of all the 80s film I have also

1:34:16

seen enemy mine and loved it well Mom

1:34:23

and dad saved the universe is that what it

1:34:25

was like he's the world Excuse

1:34:28

me. Sorry. I find myself talking you guys

1:34:31

through the phone with interjections of a gen-zier

1:34:33

explaining things from the 80s movies Yep, that's

1:34:35

how it was very little supervision drunk parents

1:34:37

and kids smoking. It was a crazy time

1:34:40

Yeah, also when the head say it said

1:34:42

when Hicks says stay frosty the classic Amazing

1:34:44

Aliens He's that is

1:34:46

the he's telling them to stay on their toes

1:34:48

keep on guard. Etc. I've heard it used

1:34:50

that way before Interesting. Okay. All right.

1:34:53

All right. Look I'll listen to anything Hicks

1:34:55

says. Hell. Yeah On

1:34:57

the beginning is that it's not spaced us but

1:34:59

instead instead like a frost because it's cold in

1:35:01

the ship since she's in stasis I'm

1:35:04

kind of in sleep mode. I don't believe

1:35:06

a ship is covered with water Personally

1:35:09

with electronics. We are in the middle

1:35:11

of a review. We are not really

1:35:13

getting aliens I

1:35:17

also love the thing 80s Kurt Russell Michael

1:35:19

Bean right page. Yeah I

1:35:22

introduced my son Evil Dead and he loves it love

1:35:24

love love this podcast I can I get enough obviously

1:35:26

since I'm really listening over and over again my favorite

1:35:28

genre of movies I love how you guys break it

1:35:30

down. I laugh almost till I pee myself Almost

1:35:34

guys name just almost thank you for putting out

1:35:36

an awesome podcast and thank you for being such

1:35:38

reliable people And it feels like hanging out with

1:35:40

friends and I didn't point out I haven't come

1:35:42

up with page a lot like I like shoulders

1:35:44

and upper arms also feminism I Need

1:35:49

me entertained five stars, I love

1:35:51

the energy of that review Thank

1:35:54

you so much ginger tote. That was amazing. And

1:35:56

if you want to have my gear read your

1:35:58

five-star review or me read your

1:36:01

Spotify comment, leave us a Spotify comment, or

1:36:03

a five-star review, and we'll read them on

1:36:05

the podcast. So guys, if you like this

1:36:07

show but want to hear this power throuple

1:36:10

on another movie review show about romance and

1:36:12

romantic comedies, check out Romancing the Pod, where

1:36:14

Mikey, Paige, and I break down and make

1:36:16

fun of romantic movies. It's a lot of

1:36:19

fun, guys. Check it out. If you want

1:36:21

to follow us on social, please do. We

1:36:23

are at Horror Virgin or online at horrorvirgin.com.

1:36:25

If you want to follow us all individually,

1:36:28

you can do that as well. Paige is

1:36:30

at Paige Wesley on Twitter or Rampage Wesley

1:36:32

everywhere else, including TikTok. Mikey is at mrandoff24

1:36:34

and I am at Todd J Awesome. If

1:36:37

you like the show so much and you

1:36:39

want to help finance and support it, please

1:36:41

do by going to patreon.com/horrorvirgin, where you can

1:36:44

get a lot of great levels and a

1:36:46

lot of great stuff like bonus episodes, director's

1:36:48

cut episodes, where they're a little bit longer

1:36:50

and you get them actually a day earlier

1:36:53

than the regular feed drop. We do a

1:36:55

lot of great things like listener requests and

1:36:57

stuff like that. So, guys, check out the

1:36:59

Patreon and help support the show. If

1:37:02

you want to financially support me, but not