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horror version community. hang out with

2:00

us dude so we're in the Facebook group where we hang

2:02

out daily. Mikey's gonna

2:04

go full riggin on this episode.

2:07

I mean this movie raises a

2:09

good question. Who cares about Orcs?

2:12

Oh no! Mikey!

2:16

This is the weirdest version

2:20

of Annie I've ever seen. I

2:26

like that they were like inverse X-Men. Thank

2:32

you for tuning into Horror Virgin on Page. I'm

2:34

Mikey. And I'm your Horror Virgin Todd which means

2:36

I don't like watching scary movies but you guys

2:38

make me watch them and this week you guys

2:41

made us watch The

2:43

Horror Minute. So

2:45

why did we watch this? It's

2:48

for Horror Month and we hadn't done this one

2:50

and this one is very very famous. Guillermo del

2:52

Toro produced it. I actually really liked

2:55

it. I thought it had heavy the

2:57

changeling energy. It does. Except it's like

2:59

a bigger house which is nuts because

3:01

the changeling. It's a bigger house. Yeah

3:04

the changeling had like a pretty big

3:06

mansion though. It's like a 3-2. Yeah

3:09

but you didn't see a wife and

3:11

son get just demolished by a truck

3:13

in the beginning. No but we saw an

3:15

old lady get hit by an ambulance. But that wasn't until

3:17

the middle. That's a long way to wait

3:19

for that. That's true it was like 33 minutes. Mikey's

3:22

always just waiting for the someone

3:24

gets hit from a car in

3:27

a movie. And if it doesn't you're going to

3:29

be real disappointed with Dune Part 2. That's all

3:31

I'm saying. I liked it but it wasn't as

3:33

scary as I wanted. Yeah

3:36

it's the same I would agree. I don't think it was

3:38

as scary either although I'll probably rate it higher

3:41

than both of you I wasn't super scared by

3:43

this. Honestly though I think it's

3:45

one of the Toro's best films. It's really good.

3:47

Yeah I felt like it was real good. I

3:49

mean I think Carlos is my

3:51

favorite character of all time. Carlos

3:53

is the most rational person I've seen in

3:56

a horror movie in I don't know how

3:58

long. He draws his Boundaries

4:00

just like as a well-rounded person. He's like

4:02

we did our best. Yeah, I'm gonna

4:04

leave now because this is bad Well, you

4:06

know one of them survives the movie, right?

4:09

So he's the one who survives cuz he

4:11

left I know and he even earlier on is like

4:13

so it seems like the hot house is haunted. What

4:15

if we left? You just

4:17

leave good job Carlos remember how you

4:19

got adopted because nothing was wrong with

4:21

you. Oh No

4:25

Carlos at the end of this movie is just

4:27

like a single doctor ready to mingle. Yeah With

4:30

a creepy house he needs to burn

4:32

down but sure yeah sure sure sure

4:34

or donate to somebody else Yeah, like

4:36

donate to a charity. So nobody asked

4:39

questions about where he was those two days. I Apologize

4:43

in advance I had to write this outline after

4:45

staying up till 11 to see my friend in

4:47

an opera that Admittedly, they

4:49

did a great job, but the story made no

4:51

sense. It was one of them the Latin opera

4:55

No, it wasn't English which was worse I

4:59

was fully prepared to like try and just use

5:01

context clues for the story Good thing

5:03

I didn't have to because it definitely I would have

5:05

been even more confused. I was confused in fucking English

5:07

I would be the one asking for subtitles. They had

5:10

them they had them God. I mean,

5:12

that's awesome Yes at the top

5:14

of the stage they had subtitles.

5:16

That's a mistake even the bottom just like TV Yeah

5:19

Well, I think that's because the people were walking

5:21

around on the stage at the bottom and then

5:23

there was the orchestra And so in order for

5:25

everyone to read them, you're right Paige. I'll

5:27

wait for the movie. So

5:29

anyway, yeah, good call Just

5:33

saying I haven't slept much in like

5:36

two days good. This is gonna be a weird one

5:38

cool I have to be on

5:40

a plane in six hours. Well, then

5:42

let's talk about child illness Do

5:44

you guys think Laura was his real

5:46

mom? What? No? Emotionally.

5:48

Yes. Oh, yeah. I mean like they had

5:50

raised him from like a baby, right? We

5:53

know that they had had him for some time

5:55

and he is very young so I would at

5:57

least a toddler or something Yeah, but it's like

6:00

a revelation to him when he

6:02

realizes or he's told that

6:04

they're not related really. Yeah, well

6:06

and he's very very young and I

6:08

know that that's a very delicate conversation

6:10

for people to have and you know.

6:12

For sure, but that means he was

6:14

under three years old. Yeah, yeah for sure.

6:16

Especially when you're about to

6:18

munch-ouse him by proxy the

6:21

kid. They did not munch-ouse

6:23

him by, Mikey, no, I don't

6:25

have the strength. Lara is

6:27

the real villain. No! I

6:30

see where this is going. Lara

6:32

murdered him, it showed us at

6:35

the end. I mean, listen, she

6:37

leaves that orphanage and then all

6:39

of them mysteriously die, really? That's

6:41

what I'm saying. Follow the Barry's

6:43

page! I mean, she did put the

6:45

scaffolding there which blocked the way for him

6:47

to get out which is how he fell

6:50

so like. Yes, she murders this poor

6:52

orphan that she took in. She

6:54

indirectly does. That poor old

6:57

lady was crossing the street

6:59

looking both ways until Lara. That

7:01

was true, it's still somebody calling!

7:03

She is like literally

7:05

the connective tissue in every

7:07

death. Every death. Guys,

7:10

I think we saw the case somebody called

7:12

Del Toro. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll

7:14

get to the files in the morning, but

7:16

wrap it up. Guess who's gonna have to

7:18

do the paperwork. She's like, my

7:20

son's been missing and I was like, she's

7:23

in on it. Well,

7:25

okay, Mikey, I want you to think about

7:27

like, imagine what would have happened and

7:29

I'm deadass serious if instead of at the end

7:31

of the movie taking a whole bunch of sleeping

7:33

pills and a really sad ending, if she had

7:35

called the police and then like, I found him,

7:38

he was in the basement the whole time, she's

7:40

going to jail. Yeah, Miss Ramsey,

7:42

we need to interview you. Yes!

7:46

Yes! I have this handwritten

7:48

letter that says that someone

7:50

else kidnapped the child. The

7:52

kidnapper air quotes has left

7:54

the letter. Yeah, absolutely. She'd be

7:56

public enemy number one. Nancy Grace

7:58

would never stop talking. The thing about it.

8:00

It would be a whole they see new Chino. It's

8:02

yeah, that's why she adds a. Join them in

8:05

the spirit well yeah I'm he will

8:07

on a we need her okay do

8:09

we wanted to go ahead like trigger

8:11

warning move because oh yeah hires in

8:14

this movie get also killer son and

8:16

an old lady m seven other orphans

8:18

yes yeah probably ever one of the

8:20

movie theater hand and. Well. I think

8:22

the old lady kill the other orphans out. But

8:25

what drove her to that page

8:27

was it's her forcing that child

8:29

to hide in those caves under.

8:31

The. Lighthouse but she wasn't there. that

8:34

was after shoot adapted. Yeah, that's

8:36

what she says. The lady who was

8:38

connected to a bunch of other deaths

8:40

in this movie so perhaps is the

8:42

most reliable Mayor Raider. Oh, you mean

8:44

the outfit that fits her that she

8:47

puts back on oh my God. my

8:49

disease of well As to how could

8:51

it be another former? You're right at

8:53

it fits. So. Perfect Were.

8:56

Of got the red string right? Literally

9:00

did turn around and grab read during

9:02

like we were about the Brazil via

9:04

that are her like board behind her.

9:06

I will posit to the group that

9:08

Laura's birth mother was old lady who

9:11

murdered every one and they were in

9:13

on it together as he continued the

9:15

legacy. I don't think the film supports

9:17

that, but I appreciate that you have

9:19

found your own belief system. Page can

9:22

either say. That my really quick.

9:24

well my was talking just now.

9:26

He was like making hand gestures

9:28

like he was Mike Myers in

9:30

the beginning of so I married

9:32

an axe murderer and that was

9:34

adorable. Hitler's Go Lara as the

9:36

villain. I mean, I think you're

9:38

right, Maggie, I think there's evidence

9:41

on his lead to suggest Loud

9:43

right now around. Rock hard hearted

9:45

harbinger of orphaned. Or

9:47

physicists and is the blind one I was

9:50

like, why do you keep pointing her out

9:52

specific. Know I know I felt like

9:54

they were bullying her. are. Chasing

9:56

around in the beginning of the movie. They

9:58

will never would get it. Nectar They

10:00

didn't get some offers. Oats Hamas

10:02

off for. Two months? I mean,

10:04

would you stay in the game? But

10:06

I would never go in the caves. ya

10:08

could look at my place. I'll give that. I

10:11

mean is mutually assured. Destruction

10:13

in a way to float. If you

10:15

want to teach an orphan, this where

10:17

you have to put them in those

10:19

cases. Madonna Our: they know what you

10:21

know. Nobody melt. I think between isn't

10:23

the descent. I think it's fair to

10:25

just say never go in case when

10:28

he. Runs. Into the cave at the very

10:30

beginning he moans yeah seal on what he

10:32

was Then I literally wrote my nose was

10:34

some a better job as a kid. What

10:36

movie he's in yeah says he would not

10:38

be wanting you to this damn cave. Yeah

10:40

which is where he finds his had those

10:42

cheating on him with his best friend. Oh.

10:44

No. The girl who was it's not a

10:47

Garage oh page in the ghost of tomorrow.

10:49

I wonder who burned essays was A lot

10:51

of us. I

10:53

mean that would have the time might

10:55

have when she was also at the

10:57

orphanage so maybe if we like extrapolate

10:59

from other evidence that we it was

11:01

have we could place blame on one

11:03

character in this movie and that's Laura

11:05

and seen thought the house to cover

11:08

her tracks. You know it's true so

11:10

not our lives Doctor and a falling

11:12

in love The buy it for area

11:14

perfect plan orphans. The same as as is

11:16

true for your developers. Have you heard of this a retirement

11:18

as have you. Heard. From the orphan lot or

11:20

for the Santa guys, yeah, lotta or

11:22

with that over the same, yeah, it's

11:24

big and the orphan community, right? Yeah

11:26

yeah yeah, it's like this and that

11:28

other girl that's actually older than super.

11:31

Natalia speaks as I have the exact

11:33

same way flawed documentary Odds are you

11:35

get out. I miss the other or

11:37

her movie but also designer. A sport.

11:40

Advisors? Oh yeah, like fully I'd six you

11:42

the child or was at the top one

11:44

hundred percent names like probes effect like a

11:46

good was ugly brew. But as you was

11:48

of the we Live blog about nearly. Only

11:50

reason is more that documentaries Gazelle I do. You

11:53

think we can get her leg adopted father to

11:55

pound on the floor and cry again? The I

11:57

think we. Could. Or her new father we

11:59

give him. Enough money for like slurpee

12:01

than shit prop of what it. Is

12:03

so performative We bad. Now I'm here

12:06

for. It is such a wild character I

12:08

don't. Know if we've ever had this late

12:10

night of energy is we're starting this recording

12:12

at like eleven P M. My than okay

12:14

well if ya don't have the energy to

12:17

say I'm gonna say okay they played some

12:19

dumb games like this one two three not

12:21

seen him you have a point as a

12:23

red light green light but also tag I

12:25

thought it was Q is it'll It'll set

12:28

up one of the most effective like pay

12:30

off scares in the movie. Yeah that shit

12:32

fucking terrified me. There are lot of other

12:34

really tense moments too, but they don't pay

12:37

off, they don't. Have as big

12:39

of a scare is that moment. Tomas

12:41

attacking her was honorary. All data for

12:43

together? Yeah yeah yeah. They're the same

12:45

as meme at the time when this movie

12:48

came out called the Orphanage Cats. And.

12:50

If you have a cat at home, try this.

12:52

Good. Like every cat I've ever had has done

12:54

this to degree I. You're walking down the hallway

12:57

or whatever. he walked past your cat. You spot

12:59

him down the hallway. ducks. Are you a you

13:01

are away as it either? Yeah back. Out to.

13:03

They just get closer every time. It's

13:05

just something caps do and someone caught

13:07

their cat doing it and overlaid like

13:09

the audio from this movie on their

13:11

cat doing it like the kids doing

13:14

that the other. Well as it was the audio

13:16

from this move with as often though he a I know

13:18

it is that is exactly what those kids are doing now.

13:20

Is the same one from squid games

13:22

like words The Big Dogs though I

13:24

have suffered the same way and I

13:26

don't notice on ah and they have

13:28

to read my greenlight are also get

13:30

shot in the say. It's just like

13:32

that, except I would go full mikey of.

13:34

That is what I saw when I turned

13:36

around and I were to start jacking children

13:38

until I ran out of the house. Especially

13:41

these good as. What? Are they gonna

13:43

do their dirty? She still blinds, Ah,

13:45

still have their lead problems and their

13:47

other disabilities when they are dead. Yes

13:49

they do because we see of the

13:51

end and one of them still has

13:53

a metal brace on his legs like

13:55

he's like half of the Forest Gump

13:57

as a as a child, bullets or

13:59

back there. The our lives matter of

14:01

sure. Yeah, like I have my easy

14:03

el ni eggs during rain. One lump

14:05

l that goes like that sucks. So

14:08

your knee eggs during rain? Yeah yeah

14:10

sorry. I mean you could have been debut in

14:12

the blood they did with Learn, but it seems

14:14

like it didn't help him either in Blake. Was

14:16

if you have a go through the vampire

14:18

slayer have read there's a lot of weird

14:21

noises that house I said they could be

14:23

attributed to the kids. Like the guy with

14:25

the brace has a dragging North Pacific. The

14:29

little girl may hit a door to and

14:32

then like the rivers as a lotta noise

14:34

is going on I would assumed to masses

14:36

basque would get you know. Also. He.

14:38

Runs a lot of full speed. The mass

14:41

probably changes. Were as I can see it

14:43

and he just straight up his a Door

14:45

to you know that explains the face actually.

14:47

A does explain sucked out face. Here's

14:50

my head can see that's the sound

14:52

of Simone trying to get out of

14:54

the basin and falling and dying. Oh.

14:56

I mean it is. Once we does it,

14:58

we hear a lot of bags and runs

15:00

and stuff like that. He. A onetime you're

15:02

right. Yeah, because it's right after the party.

15:05

It is. Yeah, I brought on a

15:07

guess to talk about this. Oh John

15:09

Charles Darwin, What is your thoughts on

15:11

this? Yes, Stronger orphans

15:14

will sort of us in

15:16

a death of a generation

15:18

of of. oh I saw

15:20

the maternity brought in Darwin

15:23

for that. The A Seance I've

15:25

brought in Little Orphan Annie Answers: Are

15:27

you here to say. Nothing

15:32

about. My

15:34

least favorite player is that the strongest

15:36

orphan is the most adaptable one. That's

15:38

a myth. That's the that's the thing

15:40

about way play smarter, not harder. Ah,

15:43

The orphan that learns to delegate. So

15:45

Charles Darwin definitely be mowed see

15:47

muscles ah ah plus I just

15:50

I had the state of a

15:52

blood clot lot of of Seville

15:54

I'd rather have as a less

15:57

we could cross breed different orphans.

15:59

The. Get gills and we shouldn't send

16:01

them into sea caves, you know or

16:03

the ones with the gills will

16:06

survive the sea cave

16:08

Another Guillermo del Toro

16:10

property has that uh-huh.

16:12

We cross-breathing orphans Mikey Why

16:14

does your brain go that have you

16:16

not seen water world page? We've

16:18

got to have them survive the

16:21

ocean Oh god, that's fair. Aren't

16:23

they just like Pokemon? What? No

16:27

Oh my gee, no, I choose

16:29

you Tomas I

16:31

mean in the really bad orphanages They do

16:33

make them live in those tiny balls and

16:36

then make them fight But like that's not

16:38

related to Pokemon at all. Does she just

16:40

become their trainer at the end? I'm Laura

16:42

I'm the new trainer here. Oh, I guess

16:44

cut this out, but they're basically like the

16:47

powerless Rangers. Oh Oh Man

16:52

the way this movie like

16:54

really just hurts those

16:56

that are most vulnerable Like

16:59

it really goes after just

17:01

children in this movie pretty

17:03

aggressively children Specifically orphan

17:05

children and then orphan adults too

17:08

Cuz like I mean, do you

17:10

ever stop being an orphan? We

17:12

all become orphans someday someday at

17:14

some point Do you guys think

17:16

Carlos targeted her because of her lack

17:18

of father? Thank you. No, all I

17:21

have is orphan jokes And

17:25

that's why he's like I'm leaving you I mean

17:27

maybe maybe that was his exit he was like,

17:29

I'm a blame all Maybe Carlos

17:31

murdered everybody. Maybe it's not Laura. Maybe it's

17:33

Carlos and he's like I can pin this

17:35

all on Laura How dare you bring daddy

17:38

war bucks into this? Why do you think he wants all

17:40

them kids? I

17:42

think he loved his wife who

17:44

then murdered people to make her

17:46

dream come true And they got into deep

17:48

with them sleeping pills or as we call

17:51

it girl boss into the man Yeah,

17:56

no, we gotta get into my brain is

17:58

mush when all of your Clients and

18:01

you die you have the smallest of

18:03

small businesses once you die. Is

18:05

it a business anymore? I'm confused I

18:08

will say this and I know we're

18:10

supposed to start the plot guys everyone calm down

18:12

This is a good point when her son goes

18:14

missing The main thing she's worried

18:16

about is that people aren't gonna trust her

18:18

with their kids because they were

18:20

starting this business She wasn't like overly concerned

18:22

with this child. She may or may not

18:24

have broken their neck. You know I'm saying

18:27

that's true I think Mikey's onto something it's

18:29

kind of like in Tiger King when that

18:31

one employee gets bit by a tiger and

18:34

Rips their arm off basically

18:36

and Joe exotic is just like I

18:41

love that scene. How will I afford more earrings

18:43

that look? Precariously dangly in my

18:45

giant ears. I will say this

18:47

before we move into the film

18:49

It is ironic that Laura with

18:51

her lack of support kills Simon

18:53

with actual supports not wrong Where's

18:56

the lie? Oh my god, okay? We listen

18:58

we have to get into the movie. Oh

19:01

my god I think there's a metaphor there It's

19:03

above me But I think it's there all I

19:05

know is when she was in that like where

19:07

the supports were that like closet or whatever The

19:10

scaffolding closet we've all got one like a package

19:12

roar and they were showing it from the upper

19:14

angle I was like this looks just like the trash

19:16

compactor in Star Wars I Just

19:22

felt like when every time you get introduced to

19:25

the orphans It was like strong bad, and it

19:27

would end on Thomas. It's like the ugly one

19:32

No Wow that technically is

19:34

teen girl squad girl squad

19:37

understand what you're saying even though it

19:40

was horrible Yeah Ships

19:44

are no place for a mighty warrior

19:46

I feel like that's like our datable

19:48

bubble like if you know what homestar

19:50

runner is it's fine You

19:52

know I'm saying I don't know I

19:55

was there if not many people do what

19:57

it was. I was there I Loved it.

19:59

Very big. It on the ban Anyway, Perhaps

20:01

we should go through this movie scene by

20:03

scene. Yes, So we open on the Orphans playing

20:06

the one two, three not game. I don't understand the

20:08

rules are I won't respond to it. I know. The

20:10

rules okay because they're clear a decision. she

20:12

nods want seriously Amidst turns around are either

20:14

they have to start coming close to her

20:16

right? Okay so it is read by Green

20:19

my is exactly red light green light and

20:21

then tagged at the a few tag all

20:23

the orphans back As you get tagged you

20:25

have to poison them off. say okay great

20:28

attacks. And as somebody should write this down

20:30

so we can actually have like a conference

20:32

and and you know tournament every year anyway.

20:34

So from there we go into the credits

20:36

which are kind of lawn and it's mostly

20:38

ripped paper with creepy hands. I was the

20:40

uncanny. Valley Hands gay I did or

20:42

didn't look great. But like all

20:44

about. It. Was one. We also see the

20:47

orphanage get a phone call and they say

20:49

we haven't told Laura yet. Sheet Laura she's

20:51

playing but I think she'll love her new

20:53

home basically so we know Law was getting

20:55

adoptive. Is she playing of have these kids

20:57

credit come back to cut to present day:

20:59

Lauer is an adult and she wakes up

21:01

to the sound of her child calling for

21:03

her? Yeah I and it is a middle

21:06

of the night and I do have the

21:08

Carlos as it's my turn all get it

21:10

and then just fall asleep. Yeah classic classic

21:12

dad. He's as. Though would have liked to

21:14

have kids, right? I don't me that. I. Do

21:16

know them, Kids be waking you up at no.

21:18

No. I'm sure that that is true. Yeah,

21:21

that's why you put them in the basement

21:23

of and strategically placed her scaffolding to keep

21:25

the door shut. and on a bad night

21:27

raw, you heard it here. In six to

21:30

eighteen months you open that door back as

21:32

well. Behaved child. you sell a lot like

21:34

the schools in the documentary the Program but

21:37

I just watched on Netflix. Ah, what's your

21:39

Mormons making millions off imprisoning children. Are not

21:41

as more and a lot of different. google. Mega money

21:43

of and prisoners of all the the specifically

21:45

the guy who owns that Conglomerate Addict film

21:47

called Cold Water Creek that's really good about

21:50

when these kids rise up a murderer all

21:52

the people in their school far one of

21:54

those kind of schools him that would be

21:56

a good movie the was I. was really

21:59

cheering during the when they covered the

22:01

riot and then they're like, but nobody came to

22:03

check on things. And I was like, motherfucker. Yeah,

22:05

it's pretty heartbreaking. It's pretty rough. Credits, she wakes

22:07

up and this is the same, like I'm

22:09

sure y'all did this to your parents. I

22:11

know I definitely did where you have either

22:13

had a nightmare or some sort of, you

22:15

know, children with their night imaginations and

22:18

screamed for your parents to come help

22:20

you. And particularly he yells for his

22:22

mom to come open the window to

22:24

let his imaginary friends into the house

22:26

because they are stuck outside. But also

22:28

this is our first glimpse into the

22:30

orphanage. They have already moved in. There's

22:32

moving boxes everywhere. So this is his

22:34

first night in a new place. That's how the

22:37

imaginary friends didn't know to get inside. Their names

22:39

are Watson and Pepe, love that. And

22:41

she does show him this little reflection trick

22:43

that light can make bad things go away

22:45

with the clock, which is kind of cute.

22:48

But Carlos later on will have questions about

22:50

like, why does kick out so many imaginary

22:52

friends? And I'm like, I'm sorry that he's

22:55

popular, okay. Yeah, he's very big

22:57

in the imaginary community, guys. Like deal

22:59

with it. Yeah, he's like an

23:01

imaginary dream fluencer. So like- Someone

23:04

say he's magic, like magic

23:06

Johnson. No, Mikey, no. No,

23:11

Mikey, oh my God. They

23:13

haven't revealed that yet, Mikey.

23:15

They haven't revealed that yet. So you just

23:17

sound mean. Although I think they

23:19

do show him taking a pill. Like they say, did

23:21

you take your pill? He does take medicine,

23:23

yes. His medicine always looks like just silver

23:26

metal pills. I was like, I

23:28

don't know about those pills. Is he a

23:30

werewolf? Yeah. They're like, we

23:32

know about his condition and we keep him chained on

23:34

the full moon. He

23:36

looks like he's taking pills to stay inside the

23:38

matrix. He does, yeah.

23:41

Because they're like, I think they're green. I

23:43

think they're just like green pills. And just

23:45

something about the lighting of the shot makes him

23:47

look metallic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But

23:50

I mean like, I think you have to take more

23:52

than just one pill a day, don't you? I truly

23:54

don't know though. Your Cocktails and medications

23:56

can change over time depending on

23:58

your positive status. At

24:00

this point now modern day there are people

24:02

who even go into remission. So loyal. Yeah

24:04

new. If I if they talk about their

24:06

like maybe he could see them to the

24:08

was close to death another two thousand and

24:10

seven we're already pretty good at it. out

24:12

of only gotten better that comprise still be

24:14

alive. Yep. They are the skill of

24:17

him like was a have a give

24:19

remix idea was the only way I

24:21

my. Voice don't know

24:23

like he isn't sense because functionally

24:25

about says the story all he

24:27

doesn't. Have any other couldn't get

24:29

his meds he doesn't like even star down.

24:32

There is a sad thing truly. but like

24:34

Steve like beside open the door and the

24:36

support beam hits the door and he breaks

24:38

his legacy mobile as there's some know that

24:40

mattered our both your support What I say

24:42

that being in orbit a sad enough and

24:44

what they do to these kids story was

24:46

is to said and he comes back around

24:48

where you have to be thought of it

24:50

and it's like they did need all of

24:52

these problems. The already had a problem with

24:55

their parents. Died. And loves of

24:57

in an orphanage. I think that was sad

24:59

and of we would too far down the

25:01

sad strategy do it literally. Is this like

25:03

all of the sad things that can happen

25:05

to a child happens to these children specifically.

25:08

Yes it is rough I agree or like

25:10

he lost three a his toes when rats

25:12

liberal to so I'm not rub. Slated.

25:14

Put their rat cage right up against his foot

25:16

and are lit a fire on the other side.

25:18

And that's how his parents lots of

25:21

custody. What

25:24

I do understand why they do it

25:26

because they want to do it like

25:28

it's the reverse Peter Pan, right? Like

25:30

she's won the right. And then there

25:32

are the like children in Neverland right

25:34

as just as who's Tinker Bell. He. Could

25:36

tinker my balls? Lot

25:39

of guys on. The

25:43

regular or is why we go this far

25:45

bigger than regular orphans who all that killed

25:47

by like a crazy you know person was

25:49

I think technically they did like the lady

25:51

who actually killed them was was like a

25:54

crazy grief and hated the has did this

25:56

and really like should not have been on

25:58

the job that day like this. Edinburgh,

26:00

our inner on campus. At All.

26:02

She should have been on leave to get you

26:04

know to take care of herself and her emotional

26:06

needs. Yeah, Anyway, those kids didn't have

26:09

to die right as a Laura Slugger.

26:11

Wrong thirty, go. So. Simone wants to

26:13

sleep with her because he's kind of scared

26:15

of being a new place in bed with

26:17

her. Side or weird.

26:19

Eyes know that dilemma like you've never

26:21

interrupted your parents who are probably trying

26:24

to have a good night's sleep. While

26:26

as pie why the divorce live on on

26:28

on my mom or of them sliding, there's

26:30

no way I would have ever gone close

26:32

to them when I was about young. That

26:35

makes sense. Yeah they got divorce and I

26:37

was three. Like either of know that this

26:39

houses big is fucking creepy. I paused and

26:41

my mom's room to the first I were

26:43

there it's i hate this the way I

26:45

would sleep in any room any one else

26:47

was in. I would not sleep alone because

26:50

that's how you get taken by ghosts. This

26:52

is like third team goes but he's one

26:54

of them. Have like a lifetime movie. Of

26:56

sadness. But I also like a

26:58

true crime. Lifetime movie. The kinds are

27:00

there Like did he leave her baby

27:02

in the car? Was the baby already

27:04

dead from a Xanax. Overdose. You

27:06

know those on full that sounds real

27:09

doors or to leg brace on blood.

27:11

Accidentally left the kid next to the

27:13

lawnmower again so I took custody. Now.

27:15

Of revealing pull. that leg brace kid aside, he

27:17

would just be like mama always say i love

27:19

with like a bottle of that underlie to how

27:21

did he end up here? I

27:24

embrace in Florida. Thought this. Too late

27:26

to record with I'd say this

27:28

is what happens when forces Mob

27:31

does not sleep with the principal

27:33

he goes last the horseman. That.

27:35

Now make me feel better about it. May get

27:38

some fancy anyone? At

27:40

Arlington playing the piano and he's like, hey, I'm

27:42

worried that I can be talking to a bunch

27:45

of people that are there. That's strange. And.

27:47

She's is like man is as a kid who grew out

27:49

of it was he has real friend. Is like shut

27:51

the fuck out Carlos. You have no idea

27:53

what it's like to be an orphan. This

27:55

is orphan. She's a deficit in do

27:57

that. Either. Yeah,

28:00

whatever. This orphan shit. You already did

28:02

it, Carlos. Fucking asshole. Get out and

28:05

make us money. Did you get a

28:07

scholarship to med school? No. No? Shouldn't

28:10

even fucking be here, Carlos. This is

28:12

an orphanage. We don't like your kind.

28:15

Even one doctor can afford a 30

28:18

room mansion? No.

28:20

He's got family money for sure.

28:22

With a lighthouse! He owns that

28:24

lighthouse. Does he own the lighthouse? Does he

28:26

own the lighthouse? Or is the

28:29

lighthouse the portal to like the

28:31

other side when you die? Yeah,

28:33

I think it's more of that. I think it's a

28:35

metaphor. Which, he's a doctor. I think

28:37

the metaphor holds. Oh my god, you guys. If

28:39

the lighthouse is the portal to the other side,

28:41

that means that this movie exists in the same

28:43

movie universe as another movie that we've done, Charlie

28:45

St. Cloud. Absafuckin' Lulu. That ambulance that

28:48

ran over that old lady had too many people in

28:50

it and that's why they couldn't stop in time. It's

28:53

the double wide ambulance, so in fact, that ambulance

28:55

hits that old lady later on and this is

28:57

that old lady. There you go. Welcome

29:00

to our orphanage. We have the best

29:02

poison. Top shelf. Would you like some

29:04

Nightshade Pie? Ooh, pie. Anyway,

29:08

Laura and Simone go out collecting shells on the

29:10

beach and Laura's like collecting shells and just kind

29:12

of walking around and she just lets Simon kind

29:14

of go off and he goes into the creepiest

29:16

cave ever. He just

29:18

like walks in there like non-fucking-plus, like

29:20

whatever. I would never go in that cave.

29:23

Yeah, I don't trust caves. I

29:25

would go in that cave. What would get you to

29:27

go in the... Actually, I think I probably know.

29:29

Oops. Mikey will go into

29:31

any cave. Yeah. As long as

29:33

she's willing. Ladies! As

29:36

long as there's no barnacles visibly outside. Oh

29:38

god! Mikey

29:41

should have said when I asked what would get

29:43

you to go in that cave, he should have

29:45

just said consent. Yeah, but also lubed. I don't

29:47

need it because I'm so hot that it just...

29:50

It melts the skin, melts around you.

29:52

Yeah, it's just like Arctic shelf melting.

29:55

There's just lots of fresh water. It's

29:57

just... Hang on! Hang on! Is this...

30:00

Supposed to be sexy. So this

30:02

is just the mechanics of as.

30:04

I was really enjoying my Ram north of

30:06

the fact that ah thanks words, that was

30:09

a good time for me. Is that okay?

30:11

I start of a backstory of the deal

30:13

with the brace. Oklahoma, Everything. Let's

30:15

come. Up with the back door

30:17

for all of them. His parents on

30:20

math but they love their Boa constrictor

30:22

John said oh of course it was

30:24

named John as their that he got

30:26

into his play pin. Wrapped.

30:28

Around his leg and concerted it till

30:30

there was a shadow break in the

30:32

leg. The government comes to take custody

30:35

also. they died of an overdose of

30:37

that's how he got to the leg

30:39

braces in state custody. Why it

30:41

happens in your brain? My

30:43

gosh, This

30:45

is gonna sound insane, but that

30:48

character's name in the movie is.

30:50

Martin. Needed was

30:52

a mistake. Know. Know his name

30:55

is just the Martin I added snake

30:57

of sneaky important. Alright let's. Have

31:00

enjoyed think they give these kids

31:02

last names whose last name Lighting

31:04

Qatar. Name with no

31:06

asses in a you were like I'm

31:08

about to drive us in A job

31:10

I'd go with the then but no.

31:14

Martin at this rate and. Will. Get

31:16

his name in the movie

31:18

is actually Martin Martin. Snake

31:20

scores. He. Snores

31:24

next to do source made ski that's

31:26

more of a polish. What? He would

31:28

go on to make a really great movie

31:31

snakes of New York and I mean what's.

31:33

Faces door. Anyway so the next

31:35

day he'd go there are fucking cave like is

31:37

nothing and in the shadow of because we kind

31:39

of we don't see what exactly in the cave

31:41

the he's talking to but he's like. Oh

31:46

yeah this is devil is some of that we

31:48

would put on facebook and be like holy shit

31:50

is like it but there's the a as as

31:52

this was scary i hated this and you can't

31:54

hear the other side of it and it's is

31:56

like you walk over and you like grab the

31:58

kid or not grabs his okay. Simone, what are

32:00

you doing? And he's like, I'm just talking to my

32:03

new friend. No. I'd

32:05

be like, you get the fuck out of a

32:08

cave and get back to the house. For sure,

32:10

can you? We can't hear at all what you're

32:12

saying. She's whispering like the ghost, bro. As you

32:14

narrated your story, I liked it. Conical. Almost

32:17

comical as beating up these poor children

32:19

without adults in a fictional way. That's

32:22

only fun for you, Mikey. I would never

32:24

hit an orphan unless they were confirmed to

32:26

be a ghost. Anywho, she's

32:28

like, wait. Who are you talking to? And he's like, oh,

32:30

I made a new friend. She's like, God damn it. Another

32:32

one? Oh, yeah, because he's like overwhelmed with

32:35

friends out here in the middle of

32:37

nowhere in this former orphanage house they've

32:39

moved to. I think she assumes it's

32:41

another imaginary friend, which brings the count to

32:43

three. Oh, that's fair. Yeah. But

32:45

also as the shadow passes, it does kind

32:47

of look like a spider for a while.

32:49

I saw that. Yeah, but it doesn't move. I

32:51

thought it was going to move. But it doesn't

32:53

move. Yeah, same. Yeah. She's

32:56

collected all these shells and he just starts dropping them on

32:58

the ground as they walk back. And I'm just like, she

33:00

spent all day collecting those. But it's him leaving a path

33:02

for his new imaginary friend to follow them back to the

33:04

house. That's some like, shenanigans shit. Like, do not

33:07

know. Do not bring that back to the

33:09

house. He was murdered at the house. Well,

33:11

he lives there. He should know how to

33:13

get back. He does know how to get

33:15

back. Like, I don't know. Like, I mean,

33:18

maybe that was required for Tomas to like

33:20

latch on to Simone. But like, I think

33:22

he knows how to get back to the

33:24

house. Yeah. Yeah. It would be funny to

33:26

see Tomas come out and be like, damn it.

33:28

I have a shellfish allergy. I just whispered that

33:31

to him. But, you

33:33

know, instead, he just follows it to the

33:35

house. Now, we cut back to the house

33:38

where a social worker shows up and is like, I

33:40

couldn't get your phone number, but I had to show

33:42

up and talk to you about your

33:44

son. And she's like, what? We didn't have anything

33:46

scheduled. And like, why? And she's like, well, I

33:48

got his file. And like, what are you doing

33:51

here? Like, what are you doing in the house?

33:53

Like, what's happening? And she's like, oh, I grew

33:55

up here. It used to be an orphanage. I'm

33:57

going to take in special needs children, but only

33:59

like five or six and it's essentially going

34:01

to be a small home to

34:03

care for children with special needs. Yeah.

34:06

Much like the children I grew up with

34:08

in the orphanage, my husband is a doctor

34:10

and we know all about Simone's illness, like

34:12

we understand, but he doesn't know that he

34:14

is sick and he also doesn't know that

34:16

he was adopted. So I would really appreciate

34:18

if you would keep it the fuck down, you old

34:20

bitch. I know. I mean, we come

34:22

to find out that she's like not on

34:25

the up and up, like she gave her

34:27

a false name or whatever, which, yeah. She

34:29

murdered a kiss. Yeah, I mean, yeah, he

34:31

definitely was involved. I think she's maybe not

34:34

the only one involved. I mean, Laura's

34:36

hands don't look so clean. You know

34:38

what I'm saying? It's hard to rub out

34:41

the nightshade, Laura. Well, she had to kill

34:43

all of them because she was doing her

34:45

hair for the one date she's had in

34:47

the last 40 years. Lots

34:49

of hairspray, but she couldn't see well enough

34:51

in that old house. So she's like, Tomas,

34:53

hold these matches so I can

34:56

see my hair better while I do

34:58

the hairspray. And unfortunately, she lit Thomas's

35:00

head on fire. I feel like

35:02

Mikey watched a different movie than we

35:05

did. There's a lot of alternative storylines

35:07

today. I feel like he just filled

35:09

in a lot of character backstory. You know

35:11

what I'm saying? Like, it's like the stuff

35:13

the writer thought up, but like didn't put

35:15

into the story. Yeah. Yeah. His

35:18

actor's secret is it's actually a chemical burn from the

35:20

facial peel. Anyway,

35:22

so she quickly escorts that lady from the house because

35:24

she's just like, what the fuck are you doing here?

35:27

Yeah. She puts that file

35:29

in a little cabinet in the kitchen and locks

35:31

the door. She checks on Simone

35:33

and it seems like he has not noticed

35:35

anything that's going on. He's just sitting doing

35:38

his schoolwork. Yeah. We cut

35:40

to that night where she hears sounds out in

35:42

the yard. And at first I thought it was

35:44

like tetherball. It did sort of sound like tetherball

35:46

though. Yeah. But instead

35:48

it is someone in the coal shed because

35:50

this building is old enough to need a

35:53

coal shed. That's where the coal

35:55

carts would go, right? Just like

35:57

the changeling, Mikey. This movie answers

35:59

the... Question what was the coal

36:01

cart for there you go to kill

36:03

the kids that was a whole like

36:06

debate on that episode page I

36:08

remember listening to that episode and I was like

36:10

I've literally never heard of a coal cart in my life They're

36:13

like um um they're like it's a cool car.

36:15

I'm like what the fuck are you talking about

36:18

show me a picture I don't doubt

36:20

that they exist. I'm sure that they do

36:22

I was just unfamiliar with the term It's

36:24

just like a cart. You know what a

36:26

cart is right you would put coal in yeah

36:29

Well, there's a lot of different kind of carts And that's

36:31

what I was having trouble with it was a

36:33

shopping cart that you only put moldy burritos

36:35

in you get it You know a burrito

36:38

cart That's actually how little Anna

36:40

lost her eyesight was a shopping

36:42

cart full of burritos And

36:44

she put them all in a wall of microwaves

36:46

at a Walmart, and they did not That

36:52

is not why and I actually have fun facts

36:55

about that girl We'll get

36:57

they're actually pretty fun How

36:59

okay, okay? We'll get to them in

37:01

the end anyway She goes inside the

37:03

coal shed where the cart presumably would go

37:06

and there is an old woman with a

37:08

shovel It's the same lady. It's yeah. Yeah,

37:10

social worker. She creepy. Yeah. Yes. It's the

37:12

social worker She calls for Carlos, but by

37:14

the time Carlos gets out there the old

37:16

woman is fucking gone There's no sign of

37:18

her they do call the cops immediately and

37:21

have them like search Yeah As

37:23

you should and no one can find anybody

37:25

so like I do appreciate that about this

37:27

movie that everyone Does what

37:29

they're supposed to do in the

37:32

sense of like they have very human reactions to

37:34

things most of the time Especially

37:36

Carlos, but where it's not one of

37:38

those things worth like why wouldn't you call somebody to look for

37:40

this like why wouldn't you try? To leave under Laura should

37:42

have pinned that lady down or something She didn't

37:44

confront that lady and Laura could have taken her

37:47

the problem is it was just her and that

37:49

lady and he The lady is old but like

37:51

you don't know what she's capable of and she's

37:53

there right enough areas reasons So like and she's

37:55

got a shovel. She has a weapon. Laura doesn't

37:57

and your husband is like upstairs and

37:59

presumably can help you, whatever. I

38:01

think she made the right call. Do

38:04

you know how many nights I've prayed

38:06

to God that I could fight an

38:08

elderly person with a shovel? I'm

38:10

guessing 365 a year. You

38:13

only take one day off every four years

38:15

on Leap Day. Exactly, so recently I

38:17

took the day off of praying for that. How

38:19

did that feel? Did you feel rejuvenated

38:22

and relaxed and ready to return to work?

38:24

Empty. I would say, and

38:26

maybe this is just me, because she

38:28

got up to investigate noises outside that

38:30

seemed creepy, and I immediately had the

38:32

thought that it couldn't be me. That's

38:34

definitely something I would volunteer Jake to

38:36

do. I wouldn't go. I'd be like, no,

38:38

we're gonna wait it out until

38:40

the cops come or, you know,

38:43

it stops. If I

38:45

went outside right now in my shed and

38:47

the door was open and the elderly person

38:49

stepped out, I would run so fucking far

38:51

away, like two miles past the front of

38:53

my house. I

38:56

love that you were like, I can't wait. To

38:59

beat an octogenarian to death with a shovel.

39:01

And then an opportunity presents itself and you're

39:03

like, Lord, I'm not ready. You

39:07

give your toughest jobs to your

39:09

most resilient servants and yet I

39:11

find myself wanting. You guys say that,

39:13

but what if I like, kill an elderly person

39:15

with my back? You are. I

39:18

mean, I think because you're in a southern state, you

39:20

can claim stand your ground and be fine, I guess.

39:22

Yeah, or walker your ground, depending on how old

39:24

and infirmed they were. I don't think you could

39:26

take walker Texas Ranger. Although

39:30

Mikey did just nod like he

39:32

could fucking take walker Texas Ranger.

39:34

So you're on notice.

39:37

He's like 90 years old. I

39:39

could beat up Chuck Norris. Mikey's

39:41

like, Kangaroo, I got this. Chuck Norris,

39:44

don't even fucking try Chuck Norris. Don't

39:46

come to my house. How old is

39:48

Chuck Norris? Old enough to

39:50

do weird MLM commercials. Oh,

39:52

good for him. Good, well,

39:55

he's not. I will say that questions like this

39:57

always remind me of whenever people are like. So

39:59

if you. had to go back in time

40:01

to kill baby Hitler, he wouldn't do it. And it's

40:03

like, how would I know it was Hitler? It's just

40:05

a baby. The mustache, Paige. Yeah,

40:08

definitely the mustache. That

40:11

baby hates the Jews. And you're like,

40:13

it's a baby. How did we know? Or

40:16

somebody like, if you saw Hitler, would you shoot him today?

40:19

I'm like, does he look like Hitler? Am

40:21

I sure that it's not a Hitler impersonator?

40:24

What if I just shot a random

40:26

actor? Paige, all I'm hearing is you

40:28

saying you wouldn't shoot Hitler. That's all

40:30

you've said, is that you wouldn't shoot

40:32

Hitler. It's a weird stand. No,

40:35

I'm saying that I need confirmation.

40:37

I need like a CIA person to come

40:39

up and be like, we've been tracking Hitler

40:42

for 80 years. Oh, you're gonna trust

40:44

our government on that? Oh my

40:46

God, you guys, I accidentally murdered

40:48

Hitler in my shed in the

40:50

backyard. Good job. Here's

40:54

the Congressional Medal of Honor. He had

40:56

an Argentinian passport and some papers that

40:59

said the American Red Cross on it. Do you think

41:01

there's any reason for a person in modern day the

41:03

world to read Mein Kampf? For history,

41:06

yeah. Like on their own. What

41:08

is happening right now? Are you getting

41:10

dating advice? You mean for fun? I don't

41:12

think people read it for fun. Like we have

41:14

a copy in our cult podcast library for all

41:16

the times that we have had to talk about

41:18

the Third Right. That makes sense for

41:21

research purposes. Yeah, that's why

41:23

we have. And that's also why we

41:25

have Charles Manson's autobiography. But like someone

41:27

brought that up out of the blue. That'd be a red

41:29

flag, right? Sure, yeah. That

41:31

would be a super red flag unless I

41:33

had some context for why they might ever

41:36

possibly need that. Like we were talking about

41:38

World War II and that person was like,

41:40

oh, I read Mein Kampf. I mean, if they

41:42

followed her up with like, I was a history major and my

41:44

thesis was on this, then I don't feel

41:46

so weird. You'll feel weird. Okay. I would

41:48

go with that. If they gave you a

41:50

weird vibe, then I would back away

41:53

slowly. Would you bring it up on a first

41:55

date? Oh God, no. Mikey, are you asking

41:57

for yourself? Are you the person who read?

42:00

Hi Tom, how are you? What is

42:02

happening right now? So. I've ever read

42:04

it with no mighty you been out

42:06

on undies. reason with people that you

42:08

claim to have like did one of

42:10

them read mine com. Though either the early

42:12

days with why would like like people are aware

42:14

of the day Friday lives we are like. But.

42:17

One. Of these four days said

42:19

this the day of read were

42:21

talking about or two at is

42:23

your job paid five. Xie

42:27

xie. Xie

42:30

me Instagram handles and approximate

42:33

boobs sizes and I will

42:35

have done in Sicily. Like

42:37

yeah, Contestant number was let's

42:39

do It was sequestered. Did you

42:42

ask follow up questions about why this person

42:44

read mine com and did they followed up

42:46

with a joke like mind comfy couch back

42:48

of my apartment. you want to go back

42:50

to my place like this He tried to

42:52

say that. All about the the close

42:54

the deal auto hitler nazi related

42:56

joke and of gonna say that

42:58

probably why because. Matter of and might

43:01

get to your house and then like Mengele

43:03

your genitals because they're. Quick spin there

43:05

were like this is actually my house

43:07

now because it was traditionally a member

43:09

of Bavaria. Ah,

43:12

Know Mike, he did you ask?

43:15

What? Are you going on

43:17

a second day with the person who read

43:20

mine com? O guy. Okay, good,

43:22

yeah. Of good okay, what? What Were the

43:24

other red flags with a swastika in the

43:26

middle? Of the other red flags worse, he

43:28

was talking about how her granddad was great,

43:30

but he was on the other side and

43:32

Woodward to. ah, See invited him home

43:34

for more than they burned books over

43:37

it. Know what else have attributed? Very

43:39

quickly away from history as the topic

43:41

because there's other people around I don't

43:43

want city. Let us the I don't

43:45

The I was a very uncomfortable in

43:47

that mode. But whatever it was because she

43:49

was like a history of he's like there

43:52

are legitimate. Review is not a history major.

43:54

I did ask that oh cause she's very

43:56

interesting. History says he read a lot of

43:58

books about World War Two. But there's

44:00

a thin line between, I read a lot

44:02

of books between World War II and the

44:04

Fourth Reich, you know? And it

44:06

being the first book you bring up

44:08

about World War II that you read,

44:10

I read Band of Brothers, same? There's

44:13

a great long book on Stalingrad that's

44:15

great. Guess which one of those you

44:17

can talk about in a bar. Mine

44:19

comes. No, a classy

44:21

cocktail bar. Does she have a

44:23

history podcast? No. Then, yeah, I don't

44:25

know. Anyway, stop dating Nazis. He

44:28

did. Thankfully. I mean, this is the second time,

44:30

because wasn't there that other girl who was super

44:32

racist that you were like, Oh no, how do

44:34

I end this date immediately? I think

44:37

she was more traditionally

44:39

southern racist, not full-blown

44:41

Nazi-ish. So what you're saying is a

44:43

true American? I'm just saying, if you like

44:45

blondes, you got some landmines that are left

44:48

over from World War II that you have

44:50

to, you know, navigate.

44:52

You do. And listen, it sounds like you're

44:54

navigating them great. Good luck on your second

44:56

date. And I have blue eyes, so it's

44:58

like, you think they're targeting you, Mikey? What

45:02

are you insinuating? Do

45:04

you think that she's trying to have a baby

45:06

with you to restart the

45:08

Labansborn and make super-abas? That's

45:11

always been one of my fears. There

45:16

was something in there that

45:19

night. The stars were

45:21

bright. Fernando. Is that

45:23

your code name? Fernando?

45:25

That's what she calls them. And

45:29

by him, we mean downstairs, Girth Brooks. Oh,

45:31

God. I forgot that that

45:33

happened. I can all click just a

45:36

second ago. Oh, wait. You forgot that

45:38

you went on a date with a Nazi

45:40

or you forgot that members of ABBA were

45:42

the Labanspore? Both,

45:44

actually. That's fair. That's

45:46

one of those facts people forget. And by the way,

45:48

it's not the members of ABBA that you think is

45:50

not the blond one. This is Mikey from

45:52

Harvirgin. I practiced this ad for Factor in

45:54

my car today. Can you show

45:56

us what you practiced? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

45:59

Mikey from Harvirgin. here talk about

46:01

factor nailed it I

46:03

have used factor on and off the last

46:05

couple of years especially since 2020 my work

46:07

is very busy I have a very busy

46:09

day job he does I have a very

46:12

busy hobby uh-huh slash second job called podcasting

46:14

yeah so much work

46:16

for you eating healthy is hard

46:18

cooking I'm single cooking single is

46:20

hard and I've loved factor other

46:22

people they ship you ingredients you

46:24

have to cook them it takes

46:26

a long time factor they

46:29

ship you fresh never

46:31

frozen meal and it always only takes

46:33

two minutes which is like my favorite

46:35

thing I never have to think about

46:37

how long it has to go in

46:39

the microwave it's two minutes that's what

46:41

my dating profile says always two minutes

46:44

healthier though they

46:46

have a bunch of like dietary options

46:48

like low-calorie or protein or keto the

46:50

keto tanto my

46:53

gee you said it wrong so many

46:55

times I'm not sure if I don't

46:58

remember how to say it right it's

47:00

keto right keto no it's keto it's

47:02

keto but anyway that's amazing so just

47:04

head to factor meals comm slash horror

47:06

version 50 and use code horror virgin

47:08

50 to get how much percentage off

47:11

my gee were you paying attention 50

47:13

damn 50% off literally

47:15

half off that's code horror

47:17

virgin 50 at factor meals

47:19

comm slash horror virgin 50 to

47:21

get 50% off car max is

47:24

putting peace of mind back in car shopping

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by putting you in the driver seat to

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find a ride that's right for you because

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and start shopping now at carmax.com.

47:52

Anyway, so Simone Wakes up in

47:55

their bed the next day. They

47:57

get up and outside their doorsteps.

47:59

They're. Hundred shells, the she sees

48:01

door sitting on their own. The

48:03

playground equipment move hundreds. It's only.

48:06

On: Haunted like it's a media li

48:08

haunted by more than one child. Yeah,

48:10

Yeah yeah. Multiple children. With

48:12

only like seven, so like two and

48:14

a half adult coast. Guard which I

48:17

mean like hey, if you had the warrens you'd

48:19

have I'll at least in have to take on

48:21

those. Two and a half goes yeah are equivalent

48:23

to and a half girls. I just I

48:25

didn't understand why three of these to

48:27

have gotten the one friends go to

48:29

act like one adult goes a fellow.

48:31

I'm coming door to door to tell

48:33

you the good news about the after

48:35

like. Woman: an anonymous

48:38

move. Anyway, Simone is

48:40

reading Peter Pan and she's working on

48:42

Needlepoint and this begins a really interesting

48:44

conversation that she has a Simone around

48:46

Peter Pan and the concept of death.

48:49

Which. Not enough people talk about because Peter

48:51

the implications of Peter Pan when you think

48:53

about it through the lens of death a

48:55

little terrify as an adult movies or applying

48:58

ah yes well as he kind of foreshadows

49:00

here and that he's like all never grow

49:02

up just like all of the other kids

49:04

here near decide. Growl.

49:09

Growl lot Ottawa go to school.

49:11

Ottawa on I go to school.

49:13

Doesn't Peter Pan V that I

49:16

hated. What he said that I was

49:18

like all this dude is definitely already

49:20

haunted and this is like jump Three

49:22

were so am I just retired early

49:24

seven minutes into the movie. I'm he wouldn't

49:26

have made you feel better if he had been

49:28

like i won't grow up the like all these

49:30

okay because of the polar ice cap and about

49:33

handling of our environment. Just like launched into a

49:35

tirade that be fun. Because the trauma to you

49:37

never really grow out of the trauma, you know? A

49:39

Anna. So she's like, well,

49:43

And later that night looks at some

49:45

of the drawings that he's made of

49:48

the children. Now. He's

49:50

He's around the house and one of

49:52

them is definitely Scarecrow from Batman only.

49:55

One of the loss of his mask. But

49:57

yeah, to sort a scarecrow a school like

49:59

of. Yeah like. Potatoes sack honestly

50:01

and you know what we all wear

50:03

masks Metaphorically speaking

50:05

yeah, yeah, but you have

50:07

to cuz you're like hideously burn in

50:09

the face Dude, you busted

50:12

which is nothing to joke about but

50:14

asterisk. This is a podcast that we have

50:16

to make jokes Okay, I have

50:18

a question a very serious question for all three

50:20

of us and I need the most serious answers

50:22

you can provide Okay, if your face was so

50:24

busted you felt like you had to wear a

50:26

mask at all times What kind of mask would

50:28

you wear family opera? I mean you gotta go classic,

50:31

right? I mean if you're trying to be still

50:33

be mr. Romance yet I would I think I think

50:35

that's a good choice and then I'd kidnap people

50:37

into my castle They're like the witch made

50:39

me stay here. My place you're talking and

50:41

they're like, no, I think you're on drugs

50:43

I'm like you should take some you need

50:45

a cape a hundred percent You also combined

50:47

a fan of the opera and Beauty and

50:49

the Beast. Yeah, which I thought was funny

50:51

Yeah, well, I don't want to wear a

50:53

big furry suit. I'll be fine That's

50:56

what I would wear I would wear the

50:58

Beast outfit and then I would you know

51:00

Just hang out below this like theater in

51:03

Paris and like kidnap people down

51:05

there and just be like let me

51:07

sing my version of HMS pinafore for

51:09

you sit here and I Next

51:12

week is Pirates of Penzance. Oh, you

51:14

should be so lucky to see me

51:16

perform Penzance. Come on I think I'm

51:19

gonna go with the one Did you guys watch

51:21

boardwalk empire where that that guy had the like

51:23

the metal face that looked like his face? I

51:25

want one of them. Yeah Like

51:28

that one. I would just cut off someone else's face and

51:30

wear it on my face. Nice Hannibal Lecter

51:32

style It's 11 45

51:34

p.m. So tired. I have

51:37

to be on flight in six hours. Not me,

51:39

man I'm ready to do this all night. We're

51:41

moving through we're making our way through so

51:43

she's like wow These are troubling drawings. Anyway,

51:45

the next morning he wakes her up and

51:47

he's like, hey the ghost told me

51:49

about a game It's a treasure hunt. We gotta go

51:52

play that treasure hunt She's like, all right And

51:54

I do like the way this is kind of set

51:56

up where each item that you find is a hint

51:58

to where the next I thought

52:01

this was cool as shit. Yeah. Yeah, cuz they

52:03

like follow the clues to get a wish So

52:05

at first they're his baby teeth Mikey. Did this

52:07

trigger you? I did not like the first

52:09

clue She

52:11

like rattles them out of that box. That's

52:13

what I would have stopped. Those are my

52:15

milk teeth Yeah, and he's like where did

52:18

you used to keep my baby teeth? And I

52:20

was like is this a communal teeth hole that

52:22

the whole family knows about first off if

52:24

your parents kept your baby teeth Like I knew

52:26

where mine were in the house so I could

52:28

have found them But didn't you and your mom

52:30

look at them decide they smell and then throw them

52:32

away hundred percent. We did I was like You

52:37

don't want someone to steal those teeth and clone you or plant

52:40

DNA on crime scenes Mikey the

52:42

killer's leaving one of his baby

52:45

teeth at every It's

52:49

the milk teeth killer we

52:51

can find him We just got to look for

52:53

the person that's mouth is really sore and has

52:55

to chew on a little icy chew toy Look

52:58

for somebody wiping bourbon on their gums Anyway,

53:01

so it's teeth and then it's like

53:04

where did you keep the teeth great now? There's sand

53:06

there? Well, where do you find the sand? Well, not

53:08

the beach. It's in the house So at the house

53:10

we find this little sewing box thing then we find

53:12

this cross that takes it to the chapel Then there's

53:14

a Russian doll The Russian doll has the

53:16

key the key is to the thing in the

53:18

kitchen where she kept his file He finds his

53:20

file and the coins and he doesn't open the

53:23

file. He's just like yay coins She's

53:25

like hey, no way what and he's like, oh

53:28

by the way, I know I'm not adopted and

53:30

I know I'm gonna die Just

53:33

super metal it was pretty metal

53:36

it was pretty fucking metal Yeah, I

53:38

was like damn. He led her

53:41

for like an hour on the scavenger

53:43

hunt Already like prepared to

53:45

like drop these two bombs on her

53:48

That's like premeditated. It's

53:50

wild. It is dramatic. Yeah, you know

53:52

Simone has a flair for the theater

53:54

for sure Oh, yeah, but they have

53:56

to sit him down and be like,

53:58

hey look you're not dead dying like

54:00

right this second but like we wanted to talk

54:02

about this when you were older it's kind of

54:04

hard to grapple with and he's like I guess

54:06

next year they tell me Santa's dead and they're

54:08

like oh about that. Yeah I did think

54:10

that was funny though. Anyway so he's like so

54:13

what if it happens if I don't take my medication

54:15

they're like I mean eventually you might start to get

54:17

sick but it would take a long time like. Days

54:19

even weeks even I was like that's still

54:21

scary I think weeks is a very short

54:23

amount of time. Yeah also you're

54:25

a doctor be more precise bro. Yeah well

54:28

then Carlos goes on to say if you

54:30

were ever in a situation where you can't

54:32

take your meds just break your own neck.

54:36

No Mikey stop it it's too

54:38

late and I'm gonna laugh at every one

54:40

of these jokes. No he's a doctor

54:43

of art history he's not like a medical doctor.

54:47

Of course he's a PhD. Of

54:49

course. Ahh. Mikey

54:53

is like laugh crying. I

54:56

can hear let me show you a painting of

54:58

some pills. I have a controversial

55:01

statement here. Oh no. Hot

55:03

take. You're not a real doctor unless you can do

55:05

something when someone says are you a doctor on a

55:07

plane. I mean but that means

55:09

but you said do something and you didn't specify

55:12

what kind of something so if somebody's like are

55:14

you a doctor and Dr. Dre was like yes

55:16

and then just started rapping you'd be like well you

55:18

did something on this plane have a seat doctor.

55:21

Helpful. Helpful our morale has improved. They

55:24

should have named them two different things. We can't do

55:26

it now because we're too far into society but like

55:28

they should have done a two different naming type of

55:30

like medical should have had its own name besides doctor

55:33

the doctor should have been the other one. It

55:35

does MD. Medical doctor.

55:37

I don't I basically tell a doctor.

55:39

They should have been something cool like what's

55:41

that got hypocrite. Hippocrats. That's not

55:44

gonna work. No it's not gonna work Mikey. For

55:47

very obvious reasons. We can work shop

55:49

it later. And since I

55:51

thought about the fact that MD is medical

55:53

doctor I thought that if you're a gynecologist

55:55

or a urologist that maybe you should be

55:58

a G.G. genital doctor. You

56:00

know what we can't give everyone their own

56:02

abbreviations anyway Simone has been real creepy and

56:04

whispering like We

56:09

cut to the next day all these kids are pulling

56:11

up for a party outside that for me was very

56:13

reminiscent of the omen I can see that if you

56:15

guys remember the party in that one Yeah, and

56:17

the house even looks sort of I mean it's

56:19

it's a different shape But like yeah, they have

56:22

that like window where like that scene could have

56:24

happened from yeah, and we're burning a lot of

56:27

not burning Sorry, sorry too long

56:32

He's been burdened up you guys I'm

56:34

just saying we were criticizing a lot

56:36

But I think this movie captures a

56:39

very like classical horror movie vibe and

56:41

like I was I loved watching the

56:43

film I thought it was done really

56:45

well because of that yeah, oh no

56:47

no criticism here Like yeah, you're laughing because

56:49

I just want to make sure if I know that before I go back to

56:52

the middle of the night And we're all

56:54

exhausted and we have to make a podcast

56:56

today Yes, anyway the appetizers at this party

56:58

looked shitty. I said it what come at

57:00

me hoes It was just crackers with stuff

57:02

on it. What do you expect for homemade

57:04

masks? Okay paper mache I'm not gonna

57:06

send my kid to some cheap ass

57:08

orphanage where there's paper machined mask and

57:10

like shitty appetizers You're not gonna send

57:13

your kid. What is it give up

57:15

your child for adoption like what are

57:17

you saying? Well, why did she say

57:19

I hope the other families want their

57:21

kids to stay here because I don't know that

57:23

it's a home for Orphans as much as

57:25

it's a home for kids with special needs. That's

57:28

what it is. Yeah He's

57:32

shaved his head and takes her wheelchair from

57:34

later in this movie and is just like

57:37

come look at the jet that we put

57:39

underground I'm not a medical doctor, but I am

57:41

a doctor Which

57:48

uniquely qualifies me to inject Adam Antium into

57:50

people I guess he didn't do that striker

57:52

did that anyway We can't get into well.

57:54

He did have that kid take metal pills. We

57:56

don't know what was in the metal Simone was

57:58

Wolverine I don't think so Oh yeah,

58:00

that's true because he wouldn't break the

58:02

heart. Oh

58:05

god! Oh my

58:08

god. Okay, alright. Oh

58:10

god, alright. Well, yeah, shitty appetizers.

58:13

You guys who really hate the appetizers tell

58:15

Moss that he tried to kill the host.

58:18

He did. Like he waited until she was in the

58:20

bathroom and then chased her down. Yeah,

58:22

there were no gluten-free options! Waiting

58:25

to see if she's in the bathroom and chasing her down

58:27

is my go-to party move. Oh,

58:29

the fruit plate was all cantaloupe!

58:32

I'm like, not twice if you want your world

58:34

shaken. Anyway, shitty appetizers.

58:37

But downstairs, Simone is

58:39

kind of fighting with

58:41

his mom. He

58:43

doesn't want to go to the party, he's in

58:45

a bad mood, and she full-on slaps him across

58:48

the face. Yeah, I mean, you can see on

58:50

her face, because the actress is great, but

58:52

like, you can see like she immediately fucking

58:54

regrets it. Oh

58:56

yeah, horrified. Yeah, physical abuse is

58:58

kind of a precursor to your murder. I

59:01

mean, and he does end up,

59:03

let's just say, dead by her

59:05

hand later in this movie. Yeah,

59:08

not her backhand like this scene. Right,

59:10

I do think it was an

59:12

accident. I'm sure we will continue

59:14

to joke that it wasn't. But

59:17

I really do think it was truly an

59:19

accident. I just want everyone to know that

59:21

she slapped her child who's diagnosed with HIV.

59:24

It's not a good look, I agree, Mikey. You're

59:26

right. Anyway, so he's not

59:28

going to come out. She goes

59:31

back out to the party, and this is where we first see

59:33

Tomas in the weird mask. Yeah, because he's just standing

59:35

there amongst the other party guests, and like

59:37

obviously stands out because of the mask, but

59:39

like, it looks like more or less everybody

59:41

else, because like all the kids are wearing

59:43

masks. Not like the one he's

59:45

wearing, but they all have masks. Nobody cared who

59:47

I was until I put on the mask. Say

59:51

it. Tomas! Anyway, we cut

59:54

back to her kind of realizing that

59:56

Simone is not at the party, and

59:58

so she runs through the- entire rest

1:00:00

of the party and the rest of the house looking

1:00:03

for him and cannot find him anywhere. Oh,

1:00:05

I mean she like searches like she goes all the

1:00:07

way to the beach. She goes to the cave like

1:00:09

she goes all out there. But was it Simone Thomas?

1:00:12

He was wearing this, right? No. So Simone

1:00:14

runs down into that bottom room. In

1:00:16

this scene where she's running around looking

1:00:18

for everything, she knocks over the scaffolding

1:00:20

blocking that secret door to that room.

1:00:22

So Simone is down there the

1:00:27

whole time. So while she is

1:00:29

being haunted by Thomas and the

1:00:31

mask, Simone is gone. Like

1:00:33

long gone. And Thomas like tackles her into the

1:00:35

shower which could have like broken her neck. It's

1:00:37

really kind of fucked up. Oh yeah. And smashed

1:00:39

her fingers. But she ends up running all the

1:00:41

way out to the cave because she's like, well

1:00:43

that's where he you know we went yesterday. That's

1:00:46

where his other friend was. Yeah. But they don't

1:00:48

find him and her leg is all fucking fucked

1:00:50

up. I mean she has a cap. I think

1:00:52

she broke it. I think she broke it falling

1:00:54

into the tub. Like it's not clear that's

1:00:57

how I think it happens. But she's like running

1:00:59

through like ocean water with like a

1:01:01

bloody ankle. Like it would be so

1:01:03

painful. Yeah. And the sharks. You know

1:01:05

those ankle deep water sharks. You got

1:01:07

to watch out for them. You duke

1:01:10

Todd. Oh yeah. I apologize. Here's the

1:01:12

the part that they don't tell you

1:01:14

about this movie is that they had

1:01:16

vacationed the summer before in Amity and

1:01:18

an angry shark has followed them all

1:01:20

the way to wherever this is. Why

1:01:22

do you think she's an orphan? Oh.

1:01:24

The shark ate her parents and now

1:01:26

it's come to finish the job. Her

1:01:29

parents were Michael Kane and the old

1:01:31

lady. Anyway we cut to they're in

1:01:33

the hospital. She's getting her leg casted

1:01:35

up and everything. Carlos is there. They

1:01:37

haven't found him and the police send

1:01:39

a psychologist to talk to her. I

1:01:41

think because they're like hey it seems

1:01:43

like this woman may be lost it

1:01:45

in the middle of this party around

1:01:47

all these kids. Can you figure out

1:01:49

what's going on? Well also the child is

1:01:51

missing right. So like they're trying to

1:01:53

get as much information out of Laura

1:01:55

as possible. Right. And this is her scene

1:01:58

of like I will never financially recover from Because

1:02:00

this is where she's like, how can they trust me

1:02:02

with their kids after this? And it's like, well, I mean,

1:02:04

she's right. She did technically murder

1:02:07

a kid today. Which one? Oh,

1:02:09

yes, she I mean she did she didn't know

1:02:11

she doesn't know yet does not know yet, but

1:02:13

she did anyway Carlos gives her his

1:02:15

medallion which will come back later and We

1:02:18

cut to later that night where she is

1:02:20

at home. She's trying to sleep She thinks

1:02:22

she's talking to Carlos, but then it is

1:02:24

not Carlos Carlos comes back in and she's

1:02:26

like there was somebody next to me I

1:02:29

thought it was you and he's sort of

1:02:31

like really dismisses it here because she's like

1:02:33

no come feel it's still warm And he

1:02:35

was like I was just there like of

1:02:37

course it's still gonna be warm But like

1:02:39

we saw something get in the bed with

1:02:41

her come feeling it's still wet. Yeah Oh,

1:02:43

this is also where she she like rolls

1:02:46

out into the hallway and there's like sounds

1:02:48

and crashes And yes, I think this is

1:02:50

Simone trying to get out. Yeah. Yeah, that's

1:02:52

when he actually does Yes, what she would have

1:02:54

used his voice a little bit. Yeah, anyway,

1:02:56

six months later still missing There's

1:02:58

a news report. They've

1:03:00

got like a map. They tried everything looking

1:03:03

for him. There's no clues They end up

1:03:05

at a group therapy session. Yeah, like

1:03:07

a grief session Yes for like people

1:03:09

who have lost a child and they're

1:03:11

like, okay, who else has seen their dead

1:03:13

child? Never was like me. We're all haunted.

1:03:15

Yeah, it was like half of them Well

1:03:17

statistically half of them probably murdered their

1:03:19

kids Is it that high a statistic

1:03:21

for just people who have lost a

1:03:24

child? I feel like there's way more

1:03:26

accidents than that or illness Probably

1:03:28

I don't think probably is these are

1:03:31

jokes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What's your

1:03:33

name, sir? Domine's

1:03:35

father Gordon

1:03:37

Ramsey Anyone

1:03:44

else who has had to listen to our cult podcast

1:03:46

rants about that joke that perfect joke you

1:03:48

mean Anywho They

1:03:52

go driving after this grief

1:03:54

and she ends the grief thing with like no,

1:03:57

I know he's alive I know he's alive the

1:03:59

end these people I've seen something else

1:04:01

nobody's listening to me basically Yeah, they go

1:04:03

driving in the snow and in the crosswalk she

1:04:05

sees Benina who she thinks it's the old woman

1:04:07

that she saw on Her property it does turn

1:04:09

out to be her which is a wild coincidence

1:04:12

But so she gets out of the car yells

1:04:14

for her Benina looks at her and she's

1:04:16

pushing like a pram and a bus Completely

1:04:18

plows into her in a brutal way destroys

1:04:20

and thankfully that pram was full of just

1:04:22

a weird doll with a mask Yeah,

1:04:24

yeah, I mean it was her son as a doll

1:04:26

more or less That was

1:04:28

like her totem for her son, I think

1:04:31

yeah, and then she went to go meet

1:04:33

her son, right? She ends up very

1:04:35

dead. Yeah when they show her face

1:04:39

Carlos tries to give her mouth about they try

1:04:41

and save her right but like they cover her

1:04:43

face Well, yeah, because they do mouth to mouth.

1:04:45

They need two to three mouths to fill that

1:04:47

go that hole right there Yeah,

1:04:50

it was gross man Because she goes to

1:04:52

grab that whistle that she kept hearing right

1:04:54

that this lady was was wearing right and

1:04:56

that's when it's like You see what had

1:04:59

happened to her face in that shit. That's

1:05:01

gay man that fucked me up. Yeah Unfortunately,

1:05:03

her truck whistle was not operating correctly and

1:05:05

she didn't grab it in time Well instead

1:05:07

of yelling her name, she should have gotten out of the car and been

1:05:10

like But

1:05:14

you know what that guy's Amazon package got

1:05:16

there on time that Yeah,

1:05:22

so the package was a body She's

1:05:25

lucky she was hit by an ambulance. We'll just

1:05:27

take her with us. Oh, yeah already dead But

1:05:30

you know what that guy's Amazon package got there

1:05:32

on time that Was

1:05:34

an ambulance it's an ambulance. Yeah,

1:05:36

so the package was a body

1:05:40

Like you said by neighbors will just take her with us.

1:05:42

Oh, yeah already dead Put her on

1:05:44

the extra gurney in the back If

1:05:51

you guys have heard the Charlie st. Cloud episode of

1:05:53

romance of the pod you understand what we're talking about

1:05:56

And if you haven't you should because it's insane. I

1:05:58

love you Zac Efron Oh, God.

1:06:02

Anyway, so we cut to the police station

1:06:04

where the police psychologist is like, hey, so

1:06:07

that lady who died seems to have a connection to

1:06:09

you in some way and you are suspect numero uno.

1:06:12

Here is a picture of all of the kids that

1:06:14

you were in the orphanage with. Do you know who

1:06:16

all these people are? And she starts naming them off

1:06:18

and they're like, oh, yeah, also that lady you just

1:06:21

distracted into being killed by an ambulance. She

1:06:23

was here too. And they give

1:06:25

her videos of, or I guess she finds the videos

1:06:27

in the house, but they tell her about Tomas and

1:06:29

they're like, yeah, she had a kid who

1:06:32

had some facial scarring and he was wearing

1:06:34

the mask and the other kids stole his

1:06:36

mask. So he went into the cave because

1:06:38

he was embarrassed to be seen without the

1:06:40

mask and he wouldn't come out and the

1:06:42

tide came in and he drowned in the

1:06:44

cave. And then all the kids were like,

1:06:46

ha ha ha. And they all got away

1:06:48

with it because their children, even though they

1:06:50

were evil because they were just playing and

1:06:53

Benina was like, I'm still going to come

1:06:55

to work with the murderers of my child.

1:06:57

And then she poisoned all of them. Yeah. That's

1:07:00

essentially what happens in this movie. But

1:07:02

it was like right after Laura got

1:07:04

adopted out. So she missed it. Yeah.

1:07:07

She wasn't there for it. Apparently. Don't

1:07:09

you hate when you miss the juicy gossip at school? I know. Oh

1:07:12

man, Mikey, you missed it. Last week

1:07:14

we murdered a kid. Welcome

1:07:16

to America, bro. No. Anyway,

1:07:19

this next scene is actually the one with the

1:07:21

doppelganger. She gets into bed next to her and

1:07:23

then it turns out to not be Carlos. Okay.

1:07:26

And we cut to the very next day. She's

1:07:29

at like a seminar about the evils of doppelgangers.

1:07:31

And I feel like this is something we don't

1:07:33

talk about enough. Twins, evil discuss. Well

1:07:35

doppelgangers are yes, but doppelgangers are

1:07:37

not twins or are they? Twins

1:07:39

are weird. I think at a

1:07:42

baseline, twins are weird. If you're a twin out

1:07:44

there, you're at least weird. And that's like, I

1:07:46

mean, that's the lowest bar I'm willing to put

1:07:48

you on. But most of you are more than

1:07:50

a little weird. And some of you are evil,

1:07:53

especially if they still live in the same town. Most

1:07:55

twins separate as they get older because they notice that

1:07:57

they're evil, you know? I feel like if you are

1:07:59

a twin. And unless you want to run

1:08:01

hilarious cons on people get one of

1:08:04

you needs to get a face tattoo

1:08:06

Or just wear a paper bag

1:08:08

sack like Tomah that works too. I

1:08:10

mean tattoos are expensive paper bags on

1:08:12

it That's a biodegradable solution. You just

1:08:14

tell somebody I look like him, but I wear a paper bag

1:08:17

I went to college with two twins that

1:08:19

looked very very much alike. What's their deal?

1:08:21

What's she doing? They I don't know where

1:08:23

they are But they had old lady names and

1:08:25

I was friends with one of them and I

1:08:27

didn't know the other twin And I actually did

1:08:29

not know she was a twin She didn't lead

1:08:31

with that and so one time I ran up

1:08:33

to the other twin and I was just like

1:08:35

hey She's like I

1:08:37

don't know you and walked away and I was like

1:08:40

she's kind of a bitch Anyway,

1:08:43

so we cut to nine months missing

1:08:45

She's at this doppelganger seminar because they

1:08:47

are the herald of death according to

1:08:50

the subtitles and she talks to

1:08:52

the guy leading the seminar And he's

1:08:54

like wow This is a

1:08:56

wild story lady who probably killed her

1:08:58

kid. I mean it's revealed that she did

1:09:01

Accidentally, but she did accidentally Yeah

1:09:03

But she also says that she has

1:09:05

an item from cuz she pulled out

1:09:07

part of the mask when Tomah pushed

1:09:09

her into the tub Yeah, and so

1:09:11

the guy leaving the seminars like perfect

1:09:13

a perfect mark for my grift I

1:09:16

know someone who can help and so he

1:09:18

sets her up with a medium named Aurora

1:09:20

who's gonna have a say on it was

1:09:22

weird though Because he was like this

1:09:24

looks like hair from a little orphan Andy doll

1:09:28

I like the way he phrased it because

1:09:30

he was like would you allow a medium

1:09:32

to visit your home? And I

1:09:35

would have responded with better make it a

1:09:37

large baby Garlic

1:09:39

breadsticks better be coming with it

1:09:43

Combo anyway the air

1:09:45

quotes seance that they do

1:09:48

is more of like a spirit box Kind

1:09:51

of a vibe. Yeah, which where

1:09:53

there's like EVPs and recording and

1:09:55

lights and blindfolding and

1:09:57

a whole bunch of stuff basically

1:09:59

like a mix of scrying and spirit

1:10:01

box if you're into the weird side of

1:10:03

TikTok and it goes awry. But

1:10:06

they do get a recording or at

1:10:08

least through one of the recording devices

1:10:10

of children screaming that they're

1:10:12

being hurt and they're there and they're

1:10:14

stuck and what have they done to you?

1:10:17

Yeah. And the medium admittedly is

1:10:19

just like, yo, shit fucked up

1:10:21

here. So do what you want to do

1:10:24

with that information. But there's a whole bunch

1:10:26

of dead kids. So you should probably figure

1:10:28

that out. Yeah. Yeah.

1:10:31

It was like a conversation that after

1:10:33

which you have, you never returned to

1:10:36

that place. Right. And she like

1:10:38

can't wait to get there. Well, she's like, I

1:10:40

will never give up. I won't give up.

1:10:42

I'm not going to give up. No, I

1:10:44

won't back down. No. No

1:10:47

Bruce Springsteen. Hey, Laura. There ain't no

1:10:49

easy way out. You killed the kid. You got

1:10:51

up. Kill. Kill. Kill.

1:10:55

Kill. Kill. Kill.

1:10:58

Kill. Kill them

1:11:00

kids. Simone can't back

1:11:03

down. Oh, because he's

1:11:05

around. No. Anyway, we

1:11:07

cut to the next day because everyone leaves

1:11:09

and she's just like to the psychiatrist. She's

1:11:11

like, fuck you. I'm not going to give

1:11:14

up. I know these kids are here. So

1:11:16

she walks around and she's like, I'm not

1:11:18

afraid. Where are you? And a window shatters

1:11:20

over a bench. She opens that bench

1:11:22

revealing the dolls of the children and

1:11:25

photos of her and Simon prompting

1:11:27

her to play essentially the treasure hunt game again

1:11:29

of like, okay, well, where would I find these

1:11:31

photos that makes you find the next thing and

1:11:34

make you do anything? Yeah. So

1:11:36

she finds like old toys, the little castle

1:11:38

apart from the quilt until she finally finds

1:11:41

the doorknob, which ultimately we will find out

1:11:43

is the doorknob to the secret door. Yeah.

1:11:46

In that closet. In the trash compactor closet.

1:11:48

In the trash compactor closet. But she ends

1:11:50

up going out to the coal shed where

1:11:52

she finds the Nina's necklace and sees that

1:11:54

she had been trying to get into this

1:11:56

old furnace with that shovel when

1:11:58

she was So she opens

1:12:00

and goes in and that's where she finds

1:12:03

the bodies of the children. So

1:12:05

many, like bodies and like ash and

1:12:07

like she wipes her face at the

1:12:09

end of like the scene and

1:12:12

like she's just got like children ash on

1:12:14

her face. It's like child dust. Oh yeah.

1:12:16

And at this point they do call the

1:12:18

police to come collect all the bodies and

1:12:20

stuff which in America I

1:12:22

feel like they would have been like you don't

1:12:24

get to stay here anymore. Like you this is

1:12:27

now an active crime scene you've got to leave.

1:12:29

Yes and I don't think they would suspect her

1:12:31

because she called them and also like they

1:12:33

just bought that place and that happened a

1:12:35

long time ago. I think they'd

1:12:37

still suspect something. Yeah

1:12:40

maybe but like they did just move in

1:12:42

I don't know I mean about other deaths

1:12:44

yes. She did also just go there when

1:12:47

they were murdered close to

1:12:49

the time frame. Very close. That's

1:12:51

a weird wild coincidence. Right. Yeah.

1:12:54

Where were you on the night of these murders?

1:12:56

Stanley it kiss it wasn't me

1:12:58

it was the math. Miss

1:13:00

Lara is it I have one question why does

1:13:02

it look like you bathed in the ashes of

1:13:05

dead orphans? Because I'm covered

1:13:07

in the ashes of dead orphans. Yeah

1:13:09

and you don't see that as a problem. I

1:13:12

mean everyone has bad days. This

1:13:17

is a bad day ma'am you're lucky these

1:13:19

are orphans and this would have been a

1:13:21

serious cry. No.

1:13:24

Anyway instead of leaving because at this point Carlos

1:13:26

is like I'm out. Yeah no there's like a

1:13:28

whole bunch of dead kids here and I think

1:13:30

it's time for us to go and she's

1:13:33

like no I just need two days to

1:13:35

solve this mystery and I think in his mind he's

1:13:37

like well she's lost it uh

1:13:39

time to go. I think that's new. Carlos

1:13:42

fights as hard as I fight when

1:13:44

I go to Kroger and there's too

1:13:46

many people to self-checkout. He's like I'm

1:13:48

just gonna put the Tylenol and the

1:13:50

water drops back and I'm just gonna

1:13:52

go to a different store or come

1:13:54

back tomorrow. Pretty much he he gets

1:13:56

there really just puts his marriage away

1:13:58

which he's like. I

1:14:00

will prove that dead kids exist in our

1:14:03

hopping displays. He's like, that's great,

1:14:05

honey I've I'm a doctor like

1:14:07

a real one. I'm gonna head

1:14:09

out. I have art to appraise in

1:14:11

the morning Sorry

1:14:13

that I've made so many orphan jokes this

1:14:16

episode. I think kids without parents is really

1:14:18

sad It is really sad which is like

1:14:20

enough so they didn't also have to give

1:14:22

the kid HIV Yeah, like it's

1:14:24

too much guys Not just him every

1:14:26

kid every kid has a 13 ghost

1:14:29

level thing about them

1:14:31

But that's it's because that's where they get their

1:14:33

mutant powers from and that's why they need the

1:14:36

jet and those green metallic pills Yeah,

1:14:38

anyway, we should have John rising around

1:14:41

this episode Hey,

1:14:43

man, let's get into some X-Men

1:14:45

pre-lore anyway, Carlos leaves

1:14:48

because he's a rational healthy adult and

1:14:51

She Laura decides to make the entire house

1:14:53

the way that it was when she lived

1:14:55

there as an orphanage Yeah, this

1:14:57

is a very long montage of pretty much

1:14:59

her setting up Ikea furniture like that is

1:15:02

what's happening She's like setting the house back

1:15:04

up the way it was when she lived

1:15:06

there. That's it. That's it I would have

1:15:08

loved some creative fun scoring like if she

1:15:10

was just doing it to that like Zuby's

1:15:13

oobie's oobie the song is she's just like

1:15:15

setting things up It's

1:15:17

like the muzak you hearing

1:15:20

like an elevator system Yes,

1:15:22

or if she had finished and then is

1:15:24

like Unfortunately

1:15:31

that bus then killed a second

1:15:33

old lady He

1:15:40

does put on the murderers clothes

1:15:42

she did yeah, she does put

1:15:44

on the murderers uniform Yes, mmm-hmm.

1:15:47

So she's looking for them.

1:15:49

She's calling for them night falls and

1:15:51

she is like, oh wait I

1:15:54

know how to contact them and starts playing

1:15:56

the game one two three knock on

1:15:58

the wall and then turns the lights out,

1:16:00

turn the lights back on, and it

1:16:02

is very creepy because you can see the

1:16:04

orphans start to appear closer and closer

1:16:06

and closer to her. It's so scary,

1:16:08

I hated it. I do love it

1:16:11

as a device though. Oh, I think

1:16:13

it's very well earned. Very well earned,

1:16:15

very cool. Yeah, but it's so scary.

1:16:17

Very scary. I mean that as a

1:16:20

compliment really. Yes. This

1:16:22

is very scary. And at this point

1:16:24

she's like, I won't hurt you, I just

1:16:26

wanna find Simon. They kind of lead her

1:16:28

into the basement where she finds the place

1:16:30

for the knob, down the secret door, down

1:16:32

to the bottom. She sees all the drawings

1:16:35

and the treasures. Also kind of, this is

1:16:37

where she's also finding out about like the

1:16:39

berries and what happened and that they were

1:16:41

poisoned and everything. She finds Simon, and

1:16:43

at first it looks like Simon is alive and she's like,

1:16:45

oh my gosh, you're so cold, but I'm glad you're here,

1:16:47

because we will find out this is just Simon's ghost. Yeah,

1:16:50

I also, like I sort of laughed when

1:16:52

they reveal it, was the ghost because she's

1:16:55

like holding him, right? Right. And is like

1:16:57

walking around, she clearly is holding him in

1:16:59

the scene, and then it cuts to like

1:17:01

a close up and then it cuts back.

1:17:04

And she does like this magician wave of

1:17:06

the blanket he was wrapped in and now

1:17:08

it's empty. It was very like,

1:17:11

Chris Angel made me laugh a little

1:17:13

bit. My friend! Yes,

1:17:16

and then Simon's body is on the

1:17:19

ground wearing Tomás's mask that I assumed

1:17:21

he found in the basement. I assumed

1:17:23

so too, yeah. But it's pretty clear that

1:17:25

she had blocked the door, he tried to

1:17:28

get out, he fell, he broke his neck.

1:17:30

Yeah. So she kind of carries him upstairs

1:17:32

into the orphan bedroom and

1:17:34

all of the other spirits appear,

1:17:36

including him, as she

1:17:38

takes copious amounts of sleeping

1:17:41

pills. Yeah, so she does, this is

1:17:43

where she takes her own life because that's

1:17:45

where the story goes. Okay, so here's where

1:17:47

I lose it with the movie, right? I

1:17:49

like the movie up until this point. Okay.

1:17:52

But like the movie kind of posits suicide

1:17:55

and there's like the good ending

1:17:57

for Laura. Yeah. Yeah, because she gets to

1:17:59

care for the or- which is a little odd.

1:18:01

Yeah. So also a bad ending for Lara. I

1:18:04

mean like what an afterlife. Here are nine

1:18:06

orphans you have to love on and care

1:18:08

for for the rest of eternity. I

1:18:10

mean that's what she wanted to do

1:18:12

in her actual life, but yeah still.

1:18:15

I think she also actually wanted to

1:18:17

have a full like life as well

1:18:19

that involves other things that aren't her

1:18:21

job. Sure. Thank God I've gone to

1:18:23

accounting heaven where I can just do

1:18:25

Excel spreadsheets Monday. 24-7 forever. If

1:18:29

I have to work in marketing in heaven, I'll

1:18:31

be pissed. But it glorifies

1:18:33

suicide. I think there's a way to

1:18:35

interpret it that it glorifies suicide. I

1:18:37

think that's a very yeah, not

1:18:40

very way to identify it.

1:18:43

I don't think that's good. But as

1:18:46

she's taking these like sleeping pills, right?

1:18:48

Like I think it sets up that

1:18:50

she looks up and sees someone and

1:18:52

I really wanted it to be her.

1:18:55

I wanted her to see herself because

1:18:57

of the doppelganger stuff, right? And like

1:18:59

that they wouldn't have to actually like

1:19:02

have that attack or anything. But like

1:19:04

that doppelganger ushers her into the afterlife.

1:19:07

But the way they do it in the movie

1:19:09

is the lighthouse. Yeah is the way they do

1:19:11

the ushering her into the afterlife. Yes,

1:19:13

and we got to later where Carlos

1:19:15

visits a memorial to her and Simone

1:19:17

and all of the orphans. Yeah, and

1:19:20

he returns to the old bedroom and

1:19:22

finds the medallion that he had given

1:19:24

to Laura. And as he turns to

1:19:26

look the door opens implying that Laura's

1:19:28

spirit is there. Yeah, and he smiles

1:19:32

and that's the movie. So having seen

1:19:34

the movie and he talked about the

1:19:37

movie, what'd you guys think about the

1:19:39

orphanage? I think it's

1:19:41

really very good. I think it's shot

1:19:43

beautifully. It's gorgeous, especially

1:19:45

for 2007. But

1:19:47

yeah, overall, I really liked it. I loved it.

1:19:49

I thought it was the closest to

1:19:52

the changeling since the changeling. Like I love

1:19:54

a good ghost story like this, right? I

1:19:56

think so too, Mikey. I would agree. My

1:19:58

only criticism is the way. It depicts

1:20:00

suicide is. I think that's a fair criticism

1:20:02

to. I wanted to be a more scary but

1:20:05

I thought it was at the right level of

1:20:07

tinted building and scares. But yeah besides the suicide

1:20:09

stuff that I've you know I think I really

1:20:11

really liked it. I would watch it again. Yeah,

1:20:13

I was it again to. Honestly because it's not

1:20:15

like there are a lot of jump scares that

1:20:18

like continuously get me every like every watch. It.

1:20:20

Is, it's like a lot of tension, right?

1:20:22

and I think it does it really well

1:20:24

and it is sort of scary because of

1:20:27

that. but it's not super super scary rights

1:20:29

and it is rang really well.it's beautiful. It's

1:20:31

a pretty quick movie, like you're pretty much

1:20:33

in it from jump Street which is great.

1:20:35

There's no like lolly gagging around, which I

1:20:37

appreciate. By. Yeah, yeah, I get why

1:20:40

people. Love. This movie? Yes. Absolutely.

1:20:42

Anywhere. But pay seventy five bucks

1:20:44

for us. Yes, why we're so

1:20:46

far. That or. Then fly back

1:20:49

Now The writers disown Surgery Sanchez

1:20:51

talk to the little girl who

1:20:53

played the blind orphan okay and

1:20:55

told her that she had very

1:20:58

pretty eyes and she says. Oh.

1:21:00

Do you like them? I pick them up myself. And

1:21:03

what he did not know is that she

1:21:05

had been diagnosed it very very young age

1:21:07

with a degenerative i disease that was going

1:21:09

to cause her to eventually be blind and

1:21:11

one of the last things your parents did

1:21:13

while she could still see wouldn't let her.

1:21:16

Select. A huge selection of glass

1:21:18

eyes, same issues, the ones that she

1:21:20

wanted in different colors and everything like

1:21:23

that's so sweet so she had chosen

1:21:25

them as now. This did premier at

1:21:27

the Cannes film Festival where it receives

1:21:29

a ten minute standing ovation, which I

1:21:31

understand it Very good movie. I. Don't.

1:21:33

Understand anyone clapping for that long for

1:21:36

anything ever a ten minutes standing ovation?

1:21:38

What would his was the whole movie.

1:21:40

I have to be that's fair. I

1:21:42

would get those are two I sleep

1:21:44

with You are non non non non

1:21:46

non non I. Would say at can

1:21:48

it's like a tradition where they they

1:21:50

try to do really really long standing

1:21:52

ovations when they like movies so that

1:21:54

people report on them. Know of course.

1:21:56

of course it's that's it's. as like perform

1:21:58

at a bully celia. To me

1:22:00

that is exactly like when someone touches

1:22:03

someone who's playing soccer and that person

1:22:05

falls down like they got shot. Like.

1:22:07

It's the same level of performative li

1:22:10

weird. That's fair. I I

1:22:12

also always have to be other

1:22:14

movies same anyway. So. This.

1:22:17

Had. One of the largest box

1:22:19

office openings for a film in

1:22:21

it's native country of Spain, and

1:22:23

it out grossed Pan's Labyrinth, which.

1:22:26

Is. One of the most successful movies

1:22:28

to come out of or to have an

1:22:30

opening in Spain which had some. Of the

1:22:32

year before. Now. He's not credited

1:22:35

for the role, but Gear model Toro plays

1:22:37

the doctor in the emergency ward who tends

1:22:39

to Lore after she enjoys her legs, which

1:22:41

is something that Gear models or does a

1:22:43

lot. he's on credited in a lot of

1:22:45

things. He's also the Santa Claus and hot

1:22:47

fuzz stabs. Eggs

1:22:49

hand and he has a whole

1:22:51

arc on Always Sunny as having

1:22:54

that point. So. Love

1:22:56

the yeah love is acting work

1:22:58

really great. The Hill. The.

1:23:00

Director J by owner. Would.

1:23:02

Improvising while shooting scenes to surprise the

1:23:04

actor. So like one time he ran

1:23:06

through the background to like suddenly startle

1:23:08

them or one time he hid under

1:23:10

one of the bed and grab. One. Of

1:23:13

their likes, his eyes, As they

1:23:15

would get screams that were real. They

1:23:17

auditioned over four hundred children for the

1:23:19

role Simone and honestly the kids they

1:23:21

got in this you so you and

1:23:23

he's really really good. Is adorable and

1:23:25

he's great. Yeah, he does great. Yeah,

1:23:28

unfortunately lost forty eight of of in

1:23:30

a basement. What? Makes it out

1:23:32

when that due to the crammed

1:23:34

full of the cramped conditions for

1:23:37

lighting at in the initial cave

1:23:39

location. actually shots three different caves.

1:23:42

So. There's an external cave her

1:23:44

and then to internal cave where

1:23:46

Simone disappears. The. Orphanage set itself

1:23:48

wasn't old colonial house or in the

1:23:50

town of I believe it is pronounced,

1:23:53

yeah, nice because it's l. l. a

1:23:55

and e. and and a lot

1:23:57

of the plans are they have for this

1:23:59

missouri possible to achieve on location.

1:24:01

So they actually had to build

1:24:04

replicas of several parts of the house on

1:24:07

a soundstage. But replicas of how the

1:24:09

house looks. So about 80% of the

1:24:11

film ended up being shot on a

1:24:14

soundstage with replicas of

1:24:16

an actual house that existed. And

1:24:18

obviously that allowed

1:24:20

them to change the sets for once you redress

1:24:22

the whole house and things like that. But it

1:24:24

gave them a lot more freedom in the directionality

1:24:26

of how they could shoot. That's cool

1:24:29

because they do a really good job of

1:24:31

making you feel like they shot it in

1:24:33

that like house we're seeing the outside exterior

1:24:35

shots of. That's great. Right. and

1:26:00

you can watch it and then watch the movie,

1:26:02

best case scenario. But for

1:26:04

this movie, they had to watch Close Encounters

1:26:06

of the Third Kind from 1977 and the Innocence, which

1:26:10

I think is pretty fascinating because Close

1:26:13

Encounters is like a sci-fi alien

1:26:15

horror that doesn't seem to have

1:26:18

a lot in common thematically with

1:26:20

this movie, but tonally and visually

1:26:22

there are some overlaps. This

1:26:25

was Spain's official submission to the

1:26:27

Best Foreign Language Film category at the

1:26:29

80th Annual Academy Awards. And fun fact,

1:26:31

we are recording this the night of

1:26:34

the Oscars. So that's

1:26:36

kind of fun that this was an Oscar-nominated

1:26:39

film and we are not watching the Oscars

1:26:41

to talk about it. And those are your

1:26:43

fun facts. Well, I think over those

1:26:45

fun facts, Paige, let's talk a little bit about

1:26:47

Box Office. So what do you

1:26:49

think the production budget was for The

1:26:51

Orphanage in 2007? Based

1:26:54

on your surprise that it was doubled,

1:26:56

I'm going to think it was very

1:26:59

small. So I think this was four

1:27:01

million. Mikey, what do you think? Seven. Unfortunately,

1:27:03

I have to break it to you that Paige

1:27:06

was exactly right. It was four million dollars. Yeah,

1:27:08

but Mikey, if you adjust for inflation, that's almost

1:27:10

six million dollars at five point nine million dollars.

1:27:13

Now, this movie came out in the

1:27:15

U.S. on December 28th, 2007. So

1:27:19

it's barely seventh, but in its third weekend,

1:27:21

it was sixteenth, which is unfortunately the

1:27:23

highest it got in the U.S., but

1:27:25

it was in the theaters for a total of 15

1:27:28

weeks. But what do you

1:27:30

think it made in the U.S. at the box

1:27:32

office? This was big at the time,

1:27:34

but I don't know if it was big in theaters

1:27:36

or if it was bigger in the home market after.

1:27:38

We'll talk about that, too. Yeah, yeah. Fifteen

1:27:40

million. I was going to say 20. It

1:27:44

only brought in seven point one domestic. Well,

1:27:46

in the U.S., I'll say it that way

1:27:48

because domestically for this movie would be Spain,

1:27:50

I assume. And you did say it did

1:27:52

really well over there. I only have the

1:27:54

total and it did 72 million

1:27:56

dollars over there. So on a four million

1:27:58

dollar budget, it still made. money just in

1:28:00

the US, but it made another 72

1:28:03

million in the international market. So

1:28:05

a total of $79.2 million,

1:28:08

which if you adjust for inflation would put

1:28:10

that up at $117.8 million. Now

1:28:15

this movie also brought in an extra $8.1 million

1:28:18

in the whole market page and that

1:28:20

is in the US. So

1:28:22

like it made more in the whole market than it

1:28:24

did in theaters. And I think it just like wasn't

1:28:26

in many theaters. So the people who saw it were

1:28:28

like, oh my God, you got to see this and

1:28:31

bought it on DVD and started making people watch it.

1:28:33

And that's how it sort of became popular. Because

1:28:35

this came out while I was in film

1:28:37

school and I remember it making the rounds

1:28:39

at the time, but on

1:28:42

DVD mostly or like midnight screenings and

1:28:44

stuff like that. Yeah, very cool. Anyway,

1:28:46

that's your box office. So Mike, you want to

1:28:48

hit them with that scary scale. Yeah, scary scale,

1:28:50

scale 110 health care we founded today. Or

1:28:53

one example is Ghostbusters and our 10

1:28:55

example is Texas Chainsaw Massacre Page. This

1:28:58

is I'm going to say a two and the

1:29:00

extra point is mainly for the orphans getting

1:29:02

closer in that one scene. Yeah. So

1:29:05

I'm going to give it a three because there

1:29:07

was a lot of attention that got like me

1:29:09

irked, especially early on. And that one scene with

1:29:11

the knock, knock, knock, red light, green

1:29:13

light thing was super scary. I'm

1:29:15

also going to give it a three because I thought it was pretty

1:29:17

creepy the first year. Yeah,

1:29:19

that's our scary scale. All

1:29:22

right. So this week you guys made

1:29:24

us watch the orphanage. So

1:29:26

I don't know if you guys know this, but it

1:29:29

was listener request. It was listener request. Yeah. So

1:29:31

the listeners as they whittle

1:29:33

it down from all the foreign

1:29:36

horror movies that were suggested in

1:29:38

their great wisdom, their great and

1:29:40

infinite wisdom, they whittled it down

1:29:42

to terrified, raw, high tension and

1:29:44

the sadness. I'm excited for pretty much

1:29:46

all of these. Yes. A

1:29:49

lot of people were saying some things about the

1:29:51

sadness that made me very scared to watch that.

1:29:54

I'm terrified. One the day was 42%. So

1:29:57

we will be revisiting. director

1:30:00

that we've talked about earlier in the month. Okay

1:30:02

cool. I'm actually very excited about

1:30:04

this. Yeah. This is gonna be

1:30:06

great. Jake is gonna be thrilled. I'm excited about it.

1:30:08

I hoped it won. Yeah, I was hoping this would

1:30:10

win too. So your homework for next week is to

1:30:12

watch Terrified and then report back for that episode. So

1:30:15

Mike, do you have a review for us to read? I do. Well,

1:30:18

why don't you go ahead and read it? Thank you. I'm

1:30:20

not used to you having one ready so it threw me off.

1:30:23

Go. Leaf Girl 1988 says,

1:30:26

my favorite podcast. Aww, why thank you. I've

1:30:28

been listening to this podcast for so long

1:30:30

that I can't remember life. I can't remember

1:30:32

how I found it, but I'm so glad

1:30:34

I did. It took me some time to catch up

1:30:37

on all the episodes and finally write

1:30:39

my review. I love horror and Youse

1:30:41

Guys podcast has introduced me

1:30:43

to new horror and new insights on

1:30:45

old ones. I love how Paige and

1:30:47

Todd include their industry knowledge to the

1:30:49

show and Mikey his mental health knowledge. The

1:30:51

three of you are some of my favorite people.

1:30:53

Paige, I love to quote you all the time.

1:30:56

Todd, water, then pills all the way. Hell

1:30:59

yeah. And Mikey, I too really like

1:31:01

teeth, but probably more because I'm a

1:31:03

dental hygienist. All right, girl, where you

1:31:05

at? You know what I'm saying? Let

1:31:08

me see them chompers. Yes. The

1:31:10

last year for me has been very hard and re-listening

1:31:13

to old episodes has gotten me through the hard times

1:31:15

while I find my therapist. While

1:31:17

I find the therapist, that isn't Mikey. I

1:31:20

am a terrible therapist. I am

1:31:22

a crisis counselor. You're

1:31:24

doing what you are doing. Thank you so much.

1:31:27

My goal in life is to be

1:31:29

on the Patreonicles one day. Wow. You

1:31:32

have set the bar low, so that's

1:31:34

a smart goal. Achievable

1:31:36

is one of those. Okay. Achievable,

1:31:38

yeah. Five stars. Well, thank

1:31:40

you so much for the awesome five star

1:31:42

review. Let me read this comment that was

1:31:45

left under our Spotify episode for When Evil

1:31:47

Lurks. And this

1:31:49

one is from Samantha.

1:31:52

And she said, Mikey should do more

1:31:54

ad reads. No notes. Because

1:31:58

that's got to be the factor, Rad Mikey. Well, we

1:32:00

only recorded 20 that day. I had a bug

1:32:02

in me and that bug is factoring. We

1:32:05

had a lot of fun recording all those ads in

1:32:08

one sitting and if you listen to

1:32:10

all of them back to back as they came out

1:32:12

chronologically, you could sort of hear some through lines, which

1:32:14

I think is very funny. Anyway, so

1:32:17

if you want to have Mikey read your 5

1:32:19

star review or me read your Spotify comment, do

1:32:21

one of those things and we will respond by

1:32:23

reading it. So guys, if you like this show

1:32:25

but want to hear this power thoruple on another

1:32:28

movie review show about romance and romantic

1:32:30

comedies, check out Romancing the Pod where

1:32:32

Mikey, Paige and I break down and

1:32:34

make fun of romantic movies. It's a

1:32:36

lot of fun guys check it out.

1:32:38

If you want to follow us on social,

1:32:41

please do. We are at Horror Virgin

1:32:43

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1:32:51

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1:32:53

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1:32:55

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1:32:57

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1:32:59

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1:33:01

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1:33:04

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1:33:06

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1:33:08

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1:33:10

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1:33:12

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1:33:17

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1:33:21

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1:33:32

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1:33:37

Literally, we're in there talking every day. It's awesome.

1:33:39

And guys, we got a PO box. So

1:33:42

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1:33:44

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1:33:47

it's actually not a PO box. It's like a

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1:34:00

Yeah. And if you want to check out

1:34:02

our Twitch stream, we're at twitch.tv slash Todd

1:34:04

Awesome while we will be playing horror video

1:34:06

games. So if you have always wondered what

1:34:08

it would be like to watch me get

1:34:10

scared, you can now do that on Twitch

1:34:12

while I play these horror games. It's twitch.tv

1:34:14

slash Todd Awesome. Guys, check it out. It's

1:34:16

a lot of fun for you. Not a

1:34:18

lot of fun for me. This episode brought

1:34:20

to you by Tia and Tia's teenager has

1:34:22

been like driving her crazy. So how is

1:34:24

Tia's teenager driving her crazy this week? She

1:34:27

keeps playing red light, green light, but only with

1:34:29

ghosts. That's what the red flag in a relationship

1:34:31

for me. I'm out. I'm not going to hang

1:34:33

out with anybody who plays with ghosts. Yep.

1:34:35

So Tia, you may want to consider similar

1:34:37

options. Anyway, this episode also brought to you

1:34:39

by Jonathan and Jonathan wants me to make

1:34:41

you guys watch some videos. So I'm going

1:34:44

to steal your screen right now and make

1:34:46

you watch this video that he sent to

1:34:48

me just a few days ago. And this

1:34:50

video from Jonathan is Southern weather

1:34:53

is impossible to predict and it

1:34:55

is. I live here. I know. Interesting.

1:34:58

This is a scary video. It's

1:35:00

a funny sketch, I think, right? This

1:35:02

is a funny sketch. It's changing the temperatures

1:35:05

each time they talk about it. There's

1:35:11

a lot going on in that video that I resonate

1:35:13

with because you know, I live in the South and

1:35:15

it is a nightmare here sometimes. So

1:35:17

Jonathan, thank you so much for

1:35:19

the reminder and the support. We

1:35:21

now return you to another pre-recorded

1:35:23

episode of the Patreonical.

1:35:27

All right.

1:35:29

There's a huge battle going on, I

1:35:31

think, and they make it

1:35:33

to the big fortress of Isaac

1:35:35

and evil. Matthew in the computer

1:35:37

world, Kate has awoken

1:35:40

her psychic powers in the computer

1:35:42

world, like Neo or whatever. So

1:35:44

she like uploads it to her

1:35:47

psyche and she goes, yes, I

1:35:49

know telekinesis. Yeah. She's like, we're

1:35:51

going. We won't have to. Okay.

1:35:54

That's not even the

1:35:56

matrix. That's back to the future too. Oh, I

1:35:59

guess it's the first. Where we're going we don't

1:36:01

need roads, but it sets up to what he's

1:36:03

telling you. He needed a dodgeball. It's fine So

1:36:06

they get to this thing and then Isaac even

1:36:08

Matthew were like look we're not actually here We're

1:36:10

just these are just computer versions of stuff Men

1:36:14

multiply yourself and kill them all so

1:36:16

men makes another thousand. There's a big

1:36:18

big big big big big battle Okay,

1:36:20

mr. Rage bombs sending bombs everywhere arrows

1:36:22

of light from Aaron are going everywhere.

1:36:24

Nice Natasha and Karoon

1:36:26

are choking them with their bare hands Um

1:36:30

Wes who was transformed again into a giant

1:36:32

jet ski has just running over

1:36:34

them all over I love it. He's a

1:36:36

jet ski that can operate out of water.

1:36:38

Yes, because it's the computer world exactly

1:36:41

He floats on ones and zeros page

1:36:44

Ally is kicking people with her

1:36:47

super strong ex mermaid hands and

1:36:49

feet Ex-mermaid hands which

1:36:51

page are also just like regular

1:36:53

hands Bo ez's arms

1:36:55

have transformed into alligators since he is from

1:36:58

Florida and he is chomping the men's up

1:37:00

Jeremy's laser vision, of course Doing

1:37:03

a bunch of stuff living with their lightsaber

1:37:05

cutting about there's thousands of this huge battle

1:37:07

everywhere It's like when neo

1:37:09

fights agent Smith at the end of

1:37:11

the matrix except one of them has

1:37:13

gator arms, which is awesome Exactly.

1:37:16

Edward this computer hair is smashing

1:37:19

heads in there disintegrating Nice

1:37:21

and then Madeline's cartwheels are cutting people in

1:37:23

half they

1:37:26

come to a really secure place and Sex

1:37:29

caliber uses his power glove to hack it River

1:37:31

Moon walks in and it's Sun Z the laddie

1:37:34

child And he's like you have freed

1:37:36

me and in Lara the giant the

1:37:38

the red Guide what

1:37:40

pops up and was like I

1:37:42

think I think Sun Z is not what they

1:37:45

seem and then Something's

1:37:47

like I will free you all and then like it

1:37:49

flashes and they wake up in the real

1:37:51

world Or

1:37:53

is it I guess we'll have to wait

1:37:55

to find out on next week's episode of

1:38:00

of Patreonicles! That's

1:38:03

gonna be it for us you guys on Paige. I'm Mikey. And

1:38:05

I'm your horror virgin Todd. Keep it oogie spooky. Yeah!

1:38:08

Have a great week. Byeeeeee! It's

1:38:11

1240 AM, nerds! Bye y'all!