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Thank you all so much for the love and support, and if you want

2:29

to hang out with us, do so in the Facebook group where

2:31

we will be hunkering down like everyone

2:34

in this movie should have been doing

2:36

instead of like walking around in the

2:38

midst of farting forests. Yeah. You know,

2:41

for a movie called The Happening. Not much

2:43

happens? Exactly. 100% the joke about

2:45

that. The

2:50

one

2:54

thing I know is the guy who

2:56

had that plant nursery, who like planted

2:58

the idea of it being the plant.

3:01

He must have also been working for the

3:03

hot dog lobby, because that

3:05

dude fucking super into hot dog,

3:08

and admittedly I fucking love me a hot dog,

3:10

but like that dude loved hot

3:12

dog. Yeah. And

3:14

then we never saw him eat one. Because the wind was coming,

3:16

they were chili dogs. Thank

3:22

you for tuning into Horror Virgin on Page. I'm

3:24

Mikey. I'm Horror Virgin Todd, which means I don't

3:26

like scary movies, but you guys make me watch

3:28

them. And this week, the

3:30

listeners made us watch The

3:32

Happening. The Happening. The Unhappening. So,

3:36

when was the first time you guys saw this movie?

3:38

Yesterday. I was aware of

3:40

it. Today was my first time. I have

3:42

seen it before. Have you, Mikey? Okay. I

3:45

did. I did. Like

3:48

where were you? Were you in theaters? Was it a

3:50

date? Please go on. It

3:52

wasn't a date. It wasn't theaters. It

3:55

was like on HBO or something. And

3:57

I like watched it. And I was

3:59

like. I heard it was bad. It's all like

4:01

I'm gonna check this out boy howdy

4:06

Perfect way to describe it because it

4:08

feels almost like a 50s

4:11

B movie like it

4:13

feels pretty bad those seem better

4:15

This seems like a high school play

4:18

like everyone's reading off cue cards Yeah,

4:20

man, it feels bad in a

4:22

way. I wasn't expecting. Yeah, and

4:24

these are real actors besides Marky

4:27

Mark I know but the real

4:29

famous people looking like they're delivering

4:31

their their lines at gunpoint like

4:33

it's insanity No

4:35

character makes a rational decision throughout the

4:37

film Wrecking

4:42

my head stay inside stay

4:44

in a car at like 20 minutes

4:46

into this movie They're like, I think

4:48

it might be airborne and then people

4:50

just are constantly walking around outside Paige

4:52

we live through a pandemic like

4:54

I Would be marking

4:57

marking it out here. That's true. That's

4:59

true I'd be inside safe

5:01

and living think about the real estate

5:03

boom when the whole Northeast just disappears

5:05

and you could just move up there

5:08

Well, and I mean, I think the movie was

5:10

trying to make it scarier by being like we

5:13

don't know what caused it And now the trees

5:15

are angry again with like that little stinger at

5:17

the end and I'm just like, okay, so stay

5:19

inside I Grown

5:23

I don't give a shit like what yeah,

5:25

those French people will be fine. They'll

5:28

just roll their windows up Yeah, who

5:30

cares? It's France. Everyone's mad at them

5:32

including nature I did love that we found

5:34

out it was France because there was there was

5:36

a food cart That's just baguette because well also

5:38

they're speaking in French, right? Is a me

5:41

the friends They don't immediately speak in the

5:43

scene Oh, yeah, like but I would look he

5:45

I was looking at I was like France and

5:47

then I was like baguette truck And I was

5:49

like France France and then they spoke in French.

5:51

I was like, ah, ha we we I

5:54

did think it was weird That those lines they spoke in

5:56

French were apostle

6:00

win win win blah blah blah

6:02

yeah I just did not like

6:04

that guy's escargot shorts they looked

6:06

really ugly that's

6:09

right escargot shorts take it home

6:12

do you think that they wrote this movie

6:14

after 9-11 where marky mark was like I

6:16

definitely would have punched a hijacker and brought

6:18

those planes home safe do you think

6:21

they were like let's give him something he

6:23

can't punch it's the win

6:25

page when you said like the first

6:28

five words of your question do you

6:30

think they wrote this movie I could

6:32

have answered no to that no

6:35

I don't think they did you didn't have to

6:37

qualify it a bunch more no I don't

6:39

think they wrote this movie I think they

6:42

got 15 days into principal photography and M

6:44

night was like I don't know tell him

6:46

it's the wind or something and we'll fix

6:48

it later feels like

6:50

an AI made film it does yeah

6:52

yeah even in some of the performances

6:55

which I will admit like marky mark is

6:57

not the best actor in the world in

6:59

my opinion but he is serviceable in a

7:01

lot of movies like I've never seen it

7:03

this bad before his first scene in the

7:06

high school where he's talking to his class

7:08

100 just thought it was a comedy sketch

7:10

me too I thought we were watching an

7:12

SNL sketch Mikey he's like what do you

7:14

mean the mitochondria is the

7:16

powerhouse of the cell that he's talking about

7:19

bees disappearing Mikey he's like you're right everybody

7:21

we'll never figure it out and I was

7:23

like I don't think that's how science

7:25

works it's not it's also not

7:27

how nature works I mean people

7:30

would at least try to figure that

7:32

spoilers it was pesticides when we get

7:34

to that scene I have so many notes because

7:37

it is unclear what he even

7:39

teaches like what subjects he teaches

7:42

based on everything in the classroom

7:44

no it's science it's not 100 science he says he's

7:46

a science teacher it's not there's

7:49

english quotes on the board

7:51

oh god he's got like an einstein

7:53

thing that's like maybe einstein question mark

7:55

and then it's robert frost below

7:59

and i'm like what What is he fucking teaching?

8:02

There's multiple things around his classroom that's like,

8:04

at first you're like, yeah, it's science, but

8:06

then if you start to look closer, you're

8:08

like, is this fucking science? What

8:10

is he teaching? He's definitely like the

8:13

coach who got the emergency teaching certificate.

8:15

Oh, 100. For the record,

8:17

I just looked it up. He's definitely a science

8:19

teacher. I know that's what they were trying to do,

8:21

yes. Yeah, I think they just put him in a

8:23

random classroom. Me too, yeah. I think they failed,

8:25

but I do think that's what they tried. I

8:28

think all of his students would have also failed, yeah. John

8:31

Leguizamo is the worst father in

8:33

the world in this film. Controversial

8:35

take. I disagree, but only

8:38

because... Really? I mean, he

8:40

could have just stayed inside, but that means being

8:42

like, hey, let your wife die, but I'm like,

8:44

she would have probably died anyway, so like... She

8:47

was already dead and he killed himself. Yeah, she was

8:49

already dead. And left his daughter alone in the world.

8:51

And he knew up there was bad, and he's like,

8:53

you know what I'm gonna do? He left his

8:55

daughter with the dumbest people he knows too.

8:57

Yeah, I'm gonna leave, abandon my

8:59

daughter, and go where I know

9:01

the gas is. And I think that's a bad decision. And I'm

9:03

gonna go ahead and say that. That's a

9:05

weird, weird decision. Yeah, just sit

9:08

in the car. It literally lasted for a

9:10

day. Well, he had the

9:12

cut, yeah. I know he did, he did, but like,

9:14

he could have gotten into the station wagon with them.

9:16

Yes! And they could have all just

9:18

stayed in the fucking car. Yeah. Because in

9:20

that station wagon was the guy who was like, I bet it's

9:23

an airborne plant thing, and I have a ton of plants, so

9:25

like, we could go to my house. Jesus Christ.

9:28

They're idiots. That is why kids like moms

9:30

more. Because I guarantee if that was a mom, she'd be

9:32

like, I'm getting the station wagon, we're gonna keep this kid

9:34

safe. Not like, I'm gonna go find your father who went

9:36

up to fucking Princeton or whatever. He is

9:39

the worst father making the worst decision he could

9:41

ever make in that moment, yeah. Everyone in

9:43

this movie makes the worst decision. No

9:45

one makes a logical decision the entire

9:47

film. He also likes, I think

9:49

John Leguizamo had to get

9:51

killed off or the lie

9:53

that Zoey Deschanel tells Marky

9:55

Mark would have gotten revealed.

9:58

Oh, you think so? About the... We

10:00

only had Kara Masil. Man, I

10:02

love when her emotional affair partner

10:04

at least called her on the phone for

10:06

Boston, was like, it's here too. And

10:09

then she comes, or he comes to see her

10:11

on the train, and she's like, they've taken Boston

10:13

or whatever. And he's like, how'd you know that?

10:15

And she's all, I told you he was just

10:17

a friend from work. Like,

10:19

she like, just like, see me that much.

10:21

Like, that's insane. The affair subplot

10:23

is hilarious because it's also

10:26

like, emotional affair, yes, absolutely.

10:28

Like, nothing happened. And we

10:30

know that because she screams

10:33

at the guy that she's having an affair

10:35

with on the phone, we just had Kara

10:37

Masil, which is the craziest thing to yell

10:39

on a train. It's too new girl. It's too much

10:42

new girl in this film. It is too much

10:44

new girl. We needed a Jake Johnson to

10:46

come in and be rational. But like, then

10:48

later, she's like, we had dessert. I'm sorry.

10:51

And I was like, what? I

10:53

liked when he was like, hey, I looked at

10:55

a girl, a pharmacist, and then I didn't do

10:57

anything about it. We even? I was

10:59

like, yes. I mean, this is truly

11:02

an apocalyptic moment where the whole Northeast

11:04

is dying. And I would have

11:06

been like, I don't give a fuck right now

11:08

what you're talking about. I don't care. We just

11:10

need to be alive. We just got a kid

11:13

abandoned upon us because her dad's fucking terrible. Like,

11:15

I need you to get your shit together and

11:17

don't fucking talk to me. I just think that

11:19

John Leguizamo wouldn't have been all, don't take her

11:21

hand if you don't mean it or whatever. Hilarious.

11:24

It was just dessert. You know what I'm

11:26

saying? Well, I don't think it was that.

11:28

I think he felt like she wasn't invested in their marriage

11:30

in general over time. Who would be?

11:33

Sorry. Paulin's really bad here. I'm

11:35

going to. It's coming. Yeah.

11:38

Literally, my voice is also pretty much

11:40

gone because of Paulin. Yeah. I'm

11:43

not saying that they planned this, but the

11:45

plants are definitely in on it. It's the

11:47

trees. It's the bees. We should have taken

11:49

them all out. I love the bees. I want to

11:51

get a hive in my backyard at some point. My

11:53

nose started bleeding two days ago. Like

11:56

down my throat. I just signed up

11:58

and I was just like, oh. I

12:00

hate the world. I need to move out

12:02

west. I feel like Doc Holliday. I mean, we still have

12:04

allergies here, by the way, in case you haven't

12:06

been hearing me. Paige is also suffering.

12:08

California's too far. Just a desert. I

12:10

need a desert. Ah, okay. Well,

12:13

you know, Vegas? Yes. Yes. Yes.

12:15

Yes. Come see me in

12:18

my residency show. But Cheeks is the name

12:20

of the show. But it's B-U-T, Cheeks. But

12:23

Cheeks. Where Mikey plays a detective named

12:25

Davis Cheeks. Detective Cheeks. It's a one-man

12:27

show, and it's a detective true crime

12:29

story that's not true. Got it. But

12:31

you make up as you go along.

12:33

It's a false true crime story. Yes.

12:35

It is impromptu every night to myself.

12:37

It's like that I think you should leave

12:39

Cheeks with the guy who does mimes, and

12:42

people just show up to yell and be like,

12:44

What are you doing? And every time he

12:47

says a word to them, he has to pay them a dollar. I

12:49

like that sketch. That's one of my favorites. I also will

12:51

be a topless dancer on the weekend. Well,

12:53

you got to pay the bills somehow. You got to

12:55

find a way to pay for the art you create,

12:57

Mikey. Yeah, exactly. But it turns out that topless

12:59

dancer is Mikey with pasties. Pastries.

13:02

Oh, I misread the sign, but this

13:04

is way more delicious. Croissants over your

13:06

nipples. It's a danish. I

13:10

did love the first time we see someone shoot

13:12

themselves in the head. Well, we don't see it,

13:14

I guess. But he falls to the ground having

13:17

shot himself in the front of

13:19

his head. Like that is that. I

13:21

literally wrote in my notes, there are like

13:24

a million police cases that have been

13:26

ruled suicide this way. And all of them

13:28

are actual murders like that. Like there's

13:30

no way you shot himself right in the

13:32

back right here. He shot himself right

13:34

in the front of his head or whatever.

13:37

Even the front or the back, it's unclear. And I

13:39

think he shot his front. But yeah, but even

13:41

then, like I could not. My arms are not long

13:43

enough to do that. But then the next guy that

13:45

falls is far enough over to the side where you

13:48

would assume that he just like somewhat plausible.

13:50

Yeah, right. Exactly. But we're not

13:52

going to call this suicide, right?

13:54

This is like plant induced murder.

13:56

Yeah, that is. Yeah, that's probably

13:58

more accurate because they don't. have control.

14:00

It's leafing this mortal coil.

14:06

I don't have a serious conversation or a

14:08

trigger warning or anything like that right because

14:10

the plants are murdering them. Yes, yeah. I

14:12

feel like you should anyway like

14:15

trigger warning for this movie where

14:17

if you are triggered by images

14:19

of suicide it happens a ton

14:22

in this movie because the movie

14:24

thinks that will shock and scare

14:26

you. It's a very cheap tactic

14:29

the movie uses in a not

14:31

very well-conceived film because the explanation

14:33

for it is nonsense. Oh no,

14:36

it's terrible. This would be a better

14:38

film if like half the population went

14:40

like 28 days later because the plants

14:42

released the chemical. A hundred. Well we

14:44

do sort of see those two kids

14:46

like in the middle half of the

14:48

movie that just like glom onto Marky

14:50

Mark and New Girl. Oh yeah. We

14:52

heard you could punch a plane to

14:54

safety. Yeah. That's my favorite scene where they

14:56

introduce two children and shoot them in the head. I know but

14:59

like they do that

15:01

to like show that like which I think a

15:03

lot of zombie movies do show you that like

15:05

now people are the scary thing you know what

15:07

I'm saying? Sure but then they never

15:09

follow through on it. It was

15:11

like that guy's crazy and then

15:13

they meet the next lady and

15:15

she's unpleasant but like she's not

15:17

dangerous. She's just unpleasant. She's

15:19

more of a Tim Robbins. I would say

15:22

she's dangerous but not very dangerous.

15:24

Right. She did slap that little girl

15:26

for getting that cookie. Hard too. Yeah.

15:28

She should learn to keep her hands

15:30

to herself. That old lady you mean.

15:33

Yeah exactly. That was the most touching scene

15:35

when that when that little girl was like

15:37

my real dad mom and dad would have

15:40

said something. Yeah right. This movie's fucking terrible.

15:42

Mikey is it terrible or is it a

15:44

promo film for Mikey's new

15:46

dating service where he gets his

15:48

wife to fall back in love

15:50

with him through creating a traumatic

15:52

scenario that she has to go through. Oh.

15:54

I'm not sure most of those people are

15:56

dead or is it just like news stories

15:59

you heard about. For me, I could do

16:01

cheesecake, but tiramisu is too far. How

16:03

dare she? I assume

16:05

that was a euphemism for like, he tore me

16:07

a new one. You know what I'm saying? Tiramisu,

16:09

that's a sexual dessert. Is it, Mikey? I

16:12

don't like tiramisu because it's coffee and I'm not

16:14

a coffee person, but- Same page. I would agree

16:16

with you that I think it was a euphemism

16:18

if she had not shouted it at the guy

16:20

who did it. Oh yeah, no, I think you're

16:22

right. Because unless she was like, here's our story

16:24

that we're getting it straight, but no, she's like,

16:26

we only had tiramisu stop calling me. We've

16:29

all been there, Mikey, right? Yeah, I think

16:31

they just had dessert and this movie just

16:33

doesn't understand humans. That actually checks out

16:35

for an M.I. Shyamalan movie, yeah. Was

16:37

this movie maybe written by a tree? Because

16:40

it's not rooted in reality. Exactly,

16:43

Mikey! Wow, nice.

16:45

Love it. You're all grounded. Makes me

16:47

want to be chloroformed. Chloro-

16:50

I said a chloro filled with joy.

16:53

I don't have a lot of tree puns. In my

16:55

brain, I'm just like, say something about photosynthesis.

16:59

I can't pun photosynthesis. I already had

17:01

my great leaf pun a few minutes

17:03

ago. I'm tapped out. Somebody along

17:06

the way, some producer knew this was

17:08

shit because why would you cast Mark

17:10

Wahlberg? They knew. Someone

17:12

knew what he was doing. He's like, this is fucking

17:14

dumb. He was a star though. He's not a bad

17:16

actor. He's not a

17:18

great actor. This is his lane. That's

17:21

what I was saying before. I feel

17:23

like I've never seen him this bad.

17:25

I would consider him like a middling-

17:27

he's fine, he's not awesome. Yeah, he's

17:29

fine. But I've never seen him bad.

17:31

Yeah! And he's bad in this.

17:33

He's not even angry in this. No,

17:35

he's just confused the whole time

17:37

in full Boston accent because they're

17:39

in the Northeast. He's just

17:41

100% the seleodia mother for me.

17:44

Like meme in this whole movie. Yes.

17:47

That's a good way to put it. And he

17:49

tries to sing at one point and is so

17:51

awful, it's like discordant and unpleasant to listen to.

17:54

He was a recording artist. I

17:57

think you're right. And I think we can all agree.

18:00

that if people behave like this and we

18:02

were plants, we would murder them too. Oh,

18:04

if a plant, if I was a plant

18:06

and I saw this movie, I'd be like,

18:08

sounds like a good idea. What

18:11

kind of plant would you be? A big fucking tree, bro,

18:13

like a big oak tree. I would definitely

18:15

be a weeping willow. Makes

18:17

me sad for everyone. I think the obvious

18:19

answer for me is melons. Nice. Maybe

18:24

we should just go through this movie scene by scene.

18:26

Yes. Join us so your brain

18:28

can also be smooth. We open in

18:30

Central Park with two women sitting on

18:32

a bench. Paige, we don't open

18:34

on a bench in Central Park. We

18:36

open on Sky and then we have

18:39

three minutes and 20 seconds of credit.

18:43

They credit on the screen by

18:45

themselves the costume designer before we

18:48

see a costume. Yes. I was

18:50

like, what is happening right

18:52

now? I do feel like maybe, because M.

18:54

Night had had some success before this, were

18:56

they just like, let them do whatever, I

18:58

guess? Not recently, not close to this. He

19:00

had had a couple bombs leading up to this.

19:03

And this was like the nail in the coffin.

19:05

This was the nail in the coffin. I

19:07

like a lot of his stuff, but like

19:09

this one's real bad. Like in an unexplainable

19:12

way. If this was your first movie, I'd

19:14

be like, man, when that kids graduate college,

19:17

he'll be great, you know? Right. It was

19:19

a great first try. Yeah. But, yeah, so after

19:21

all of the many, many minutes of credits in

19:23

the sky, we open on Central Park. Two ladies

19:26

are on a bench. One is

19:28

reading, they're both reading books, but

19:30

one of them keeps losing her page. So

19:32

this is the first time we see the

19:35

confusion of like, what page was I on?

19:37

What page was I on? And then everyone,

19:39

the wind blows, everyone in the park stops.

19:41

And then that lady pulls out a hair

19:44

doodad and stabs herself in the neck, which

19:46

like the amount of hair products that like

19:48

are neck-stabbable, not very many. They're usually plastic.

19:50

I mean, the one she had looked like

19:53

it was as sharp as a chopstick. Yeah. Which

19:56

is to say, not at all. Yeah. And she still

19:58

shoves it into her jugular. Exactly, it

20:00

would have taken an immense amount of

20:02

strength to pierce at all. And she

20:04

shoves it through her jugular into her

20:06

esophagus. And it's a big ass hair

20:08

thing. Yeah, but like, again, most hair

20:11

things are about as sharp as chopsticks. Because

20:13

they don't need to be that sharp. Yeah,

20:15

you're not sword fighting your hair when you're putting your

20:17

hair up. Paige, we get it. We get it, Paige.

20:19

Be for yourself. Be for... Those

20:22

were for white people dreads. That was

20:24

a white people dreads, bun, thing. Controversial,

20:26

but possibly accurate take, Mikey. Controversial statement,

20:28

since this is one of my last

20:31

times. Mikey's just putting all of

20:33

his beliefs out here on the last couple

20:35

of movies. If you're a white person with dreads,

20:37

I don't like you. And you should really think

20:39

you're like, finally the truth comes out. Touching

20:43

me, only wearing dreads, like,

20:45

oh my God. Like, single-tier.

20:47

I do find white people wearing protective

20:49

styles when they do not need to,

20:51

culturally appropriative. But also, most white people's

20:54

hair is not designed to do that.

20:56

No. And it's real bad for your

20:58

hair if you're white. Like, people lose

21:00

chunks of hair that way. Look, I know there's

21:02

some of you out here listening, and I appreciate

21:04

you as a person, but your hair looks bad

21:06

and I feel bad for you. It's not for

21:08

you. And you just gotta let it go. Let

21:11

it go. That's okay. Not everything is for us.

21:13

Paige will take all emails, post this episode

21:15

for this. No, fuck you! Stop! I

21:18

was gonna have a relaxing couple of months

21:20

for the first time this year. No.

21:22

I'm just gonna post wild shit

21:24

in different Facebook groups. Good lord.

21:27

Anyway, she stabs herself. Oh, I

21:29

have a movie-related question. Okay. That's not a

21:31

joke. Alright. So, that one girl does not

21:34

seem affected by the gas. So it seems

21:36

to have like a 99% effective rate, but

21:38

like a 1% is immune. It

21:40

shows in France, too, right? Yeah, because that

21:42

one guy. Yeah. This is what I was

21:44

waiting for in the movie, is that, where

21:46

are the people that survived it, that are

21:48

just not affected by it, much like the

21:50

zombie virus? Yes! Guys, they're saving

21:53

that for the sequel, The

21:55

Hopening. The Hopening? The

21:57

It Happens. Like a night of a comic,

21:59

post- the popular big future that's the that's

22:01

what I want this should only be 15

22:04

minutes of the first part of the movie you know what I'd say

22:06

I want to see that at

22:08

night like I realize this movie might be your

22:10

worst but I'd take a sequel but we got

22:12

to make em night do it that honestly

22:15

if I was a director and I released

22:20

what is possibly seen as my worst film

22:22

sure I would try and do a sequel

22:25

just so I could like fucking nail it

22:27

you know what I'm saying oh this is

22:29

not his worst film what do you think his

22:31

worst film is Mikey avatar the last air

22:33

bender yeah because I heard it

22:35

was trash yeah yeah no you're

22:37

right I thought you were gonna

22:39

say like six cents no and

22:41

we you guys haven't done six

22:44

cents no idea

22:46

probably I don't know I know

22:48

I wasn't on a six cents episode I think

22:51

before I was on it no no I was

22:54

on there or unbreakable unbreakable

22:56

I think it's his best I think so too

22:58

I even like the village I'll go a little

23:00

further I'll do a little village yeah yeah I don't

23:02

think we've done six cents that's wild

23:04

to me yeah that's wild all right I'll

23:06

put it in my list of movies

23:08

to dangle in front of guests anyway

23:11

some people seem unaffected it's the most interesting part

23:13

of the movie the movie doesn't explore it at

23:15

all next we go to a construction

23:17

site where construction workers are talking and then a

23:19

guy seemingly falls off this tall

23:21

building they're working on yeah they think it's

23:24

an isolated incident I do have a note

23:26

that they call like they go to dial

23:28

911 and they just say medic

23:30

can you get here like they don't give

23:32

an address it's a walkie talkie page he's

23:34

on a walkie-talkie for his job site oh

23:36

yeah he just calls the job for him

23:38

and yeah I like this scene in a

23:41

morbidly funny way because it was like his

23:43

friends he's like Nick fell yeah Nick had

23:45

an accident Nick said they start crying and

23:47

then you just start falling all around them

23:49

and I'm like and they're like Bob Doug

23:51

and I was like honestly this is the

23:53

one actually scary scene

23:57

in this movie I think I agree though page you're

23:59

right Because imagine Stan, and he's

24:01

another guy that seems to live through

24:03

this and is unaffected. Right. But like

24:06

imagine watching that happen, that'd be fucking

24:08

terrifying, and people falling are gonna hit

24:10

people on their way down. Like, this

24:13

is the one scary part of the

24:15

movie. I feel like they planned out

24:17

these first two scenes that are like,

24:19

how do we write a movie around

24:22

this? And that's what we got. Yeah,

24:24

I think 100% he

24:26

thought up like four scary scenes and then

24:28

wrote a whole movie with like, barely connective,

24:30

I mean the connective issue was wind. Yeah.

24:34

So... Wind. Which is

24:36

why this movie feels like it's like $20. It's

24:38

just a lot of people running around parks,

24:41

for sure. Yes, exactly. Yeah. Although, and I'll

24:43

say this, like if I saw what that

24:45

guy saw, when he looks up and all

24:47

of his friends and colleagues are like jumping

24:50

off the fucking building that he's working at,

24:52

like these are all his co-workers, I'd

24:54

have been like, somebody's getting a promotion. Oh

24:58

no, Todd Petty, no!

25:01

Listen, there are some benefits to

25:03

surviving an almost apocalypse. Yeah, I mean,

25:05

you could just like take a house. Yes! At

25:07

that point. Yes, so many houses.

25:09

Central Park. In fact, I think that's what happens at

25:11

the end of this movie, because they suddenly have a really

25:14

nice brownstone, and I think they just like, yeah this is

25:16

ours now. Yeah, we live here because

25:19

everyone died. Yeah. Everyone's dead, so I took this place.

25:21

And who would want to move up there? I'd be

25:23

like, everybody died up there, I'm not gonna live up

25:25

there. What about the ghosts? When we get to

25:27

the end, we need to talk about, because it's the

25:29

same problem as 28 weeks later, where they're like, six

25:31

weeks from now we're moving people back on the island.

25:33

And this is like, three months from now, schools are

25:35

open. I was like, they ain't fucking open. We closed

25:38

schools for COVID for like two years. Paige,

25:40

and they're so safe that she is like,

25:42

trying for a baby. Yeah. I don't think

25:44

that like, if that had happened three months ago,

25:46

you'd be like, you know what, let's just

25:48

give it a beat before we try and

25:50

bring anything else into this world that I

25:52

have to take care of. Because

25:54

like, you're thinking differently at that point. Yes.

25:57

No, it's just because he knows her favorite

25:59

dessert. pound cake.

26:01

I guess his favorite dessert's

26:04

a cream pie. Yeah, let's

26:06

go, Porte. I mean, I

26:08

will say, like most of my

26:11

friends had pandemic babies. Like

26:13

we were an outlier in not

26:15

having a pandemic baby, but

26:17

I think that's more because we were all trapped inside

26:19

for two years together. Exactly. That must've been

26:22

nice for y'all. Mikey, did you have a

26:24

pandemic baby? Not that I've been told so

26:26

far. I don't have one either. But

26:28

yet, not that you know us, someday, 18 years

26:31

from now. I worked a lot. I was

26:33

like a workaholic. That's me all the time.

26:35

Then we doubled our podcasting output. Yeah, we

26:37

did. We did, yeah. That's our baby. Romancing

26:40

the pod was our pandemic baby. Yeah.

26:42

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I was in Denver

26:44

this morning. It motivated me to buy

26:46

a house because I was like, I'm

26:48

not doing this again in a condo.

26:50

I was like, I feel fucking trapped.

26:53

That's part of why we bought a house. We're

26:55

like, we don't have a backyard. We don't have

26:57

anything. We can't go outside. And it

27:00

was maddening because we were in a one bedroom. Just

27:02

like. Natalie and I were in a one bedroom

27:04

too. Yeah. Oh God, yeah. Natalie and

27:06

I were in a one bedroom with seven animals.

27:08

I was like, we have to get a house.

27:10

Yeah. The box car children over there. It

27:12

was great. I kind of like, there was a lot of

27:14

that time I loved, you know, because it was like all

27:16

the animals were on top the other time and I loved

27:19

it. It was great. The kitties spread out in the house.

27:21

Yeah, that's true. Cats do kind of find their own

27:23

place. But they also, they need space. Like that's one

27:25

of the reasons behind getting the house. All

27:27

the cats needed space. The dogs needed a backyard.

27:30

Like how are we gonna die from the wind

27:32

if we're not close to plants, you know? Yeah.

27:34

Let it buy a house. I don't understand how

27:36

it got in New York too much. Really just

27:38

Central Park. It should have been like a few

27:40

blocks off Central Park and then that was it,

27:42

you know? So it's like

27:44

all those really affluent areas right there by

27:47

Central Park get fucking decimated and then like

27:49

the poor people like running and

27:51

take all their shit. Well, I mean Central Park is

27:53

like huge. So there's poor and rich people

27:55

around it. But I will say I think

27:57

the thing that kills most people is because

27:59

they. get told to evacuate which means

28:01

that they go outside because if they

28:03

all just stayed in their apartments they'd

28:06

be fucking fine just close the windows

28:08

especially if they're like downtown I mean I don't

28:10

know how much green space there isn't all over

28:12

in New York City like if you were downtown

28:14

Nashville and this happened you'd be fucking fine like

28:17

it's a it's a parking lot you know

28:19

like there's no plants anywhere if you were

28:21

anywhere in Los Angeles and just stayed in

28:24

your car or your apartment you'd be fine

28:26

that's why this that's why this movie has

28:28

to take place on the east coast yeah

28:30

because if they went here they'd be like

28:32

you're fine well yeah cuz especially when

28:34

they get to the field they're like 20

28:36

yards that way the gas yeah 20 yards

28:38

this way we're fine and they can't even

28:40

see it okay but

28:42

guys what is positive in that

28:45

scene is so absolutely bug

28:47

fuck bonkers that like the

28:49

reason it like a land mine yes

28:51

yes but it's like it's like capacity

28:53

land mine yeah yeah they were walking

28:55

through a field which is like a

28:57

nebulous term for what we're seeing like

28:59

there aren't hedgerows separating where they are

29:01

they're literally over like a little like

29:03

a hill yeah maybe so like my

29:05

question ultimately as insane as it is

29:07

does each field have a brain and

29:10

does that brain make the decision to

29:12

go off and like how does any

29:14

of that fucking work I don't think

29:16

anyone thought through this is insane so

29:18

I'm gonna tell you what a great man

29:20

once told me you'll never understand an act

29:22

of nature that was my science teacher Mark

29:25

Walberg marquee mark my science teacher he says

29:27

we will never understand how the bees died

29:29

or the grass gas comes out we're about

29:31

to get to that scene but he is

29:34

very much like hey tell me how you

29:36

think the bees disappeared and people are like

29:38

giving a plausible answers and he's like now

29:40

you fucking dummy let's ask this kid now

29:43

he's a fucking dummy and then he's like

29:45

he's just like roasting his students on

29:47

some level it's why no that last

29:49

kid he just fucking bullies he's like

29:51

you're fucking ugly-ass nose is gonna grow

29:53

out further you think you're too good

29:55

for science yeah you're like whoa because

29:57

one he tells the class He

30:00

finds that kid attractive, which is a wild start

30:02

to an insult. It's a really weird thing to

30:04

say. You think it's your perfect ears and nose

30:06

that you're going to be attractive forever? And I was

30:08

like, Mark, no. Let's just

30:11

get into that scene because we open on

30:13

this class and he's just like, hey,

30:15

class, where are the bees gone? And again, he

30:17

gets plausible answers where people are at global warming

30:19

and he's like, yeah, the temperature goes up a

30:22

degree, they move. Yeah, of course. And it's like,

30:24

how about a virus? He's like, yeah, but it's

30:26

only contained to these areas. I was like, yeah,

30:28

you know the way a virus spreads. Everything somebody

30:30

says is normal. And then he's like, yo, Hottie,

30:33

what you think about the bees? And

30:35

after bullying that kid and telling him he'll not

30:37

be he's not going to grow up to be

30:39

pretty. He full on negs his students. Yeah,

30:42

like he you're not going to be

30:44

pretty forever as him. Yeah, it's a

30:46

weird cold open to this week's SNL

30:49

episode is what it is. It's

30:51

real weird. It's very weird. Then that

30:53

kid is just like, it's nature will

30:55

never fully understand. And he's like, exactly

30:57

science. You're like, what? It's like

30:59

literally him saying that sometimes this

31:02

thing I dedicated my life to

31:04

teaching people, not accurate, not accurate,

31:06

not teachable. Who knows? Which is

31:08

like the opposite of what science

31:10

is. Science openly admits that like

31:12

it doesn't know everything. But science is a mystery.

31:14

We don't even know how to figure out how

31:17

the bees went. Good job, Hottie. We didn't even

31:19

know how science works. It's a mystery. That's like

31:21

his vibe. Yeah. Fucking magnets. How do

31:23

they work? You know, like real

31:26

ICP type shit. It is nuts. But as

31:28

they're having this conversation, the vice principal comes

31:30

in and he does this weird like, oh,

31:32

no, I got to hide from the dark

31:35

evil crone and turns the lights off. And

31:37

I was like, bro, you're getting a fire.

31:39

Like what is going on? She pulls them

31:41

aside and she's like, it's 9 11 again. Yeah,

31:44

basically like a second

31:47

gust of wind has hit the

31:49

Central Park. Like it's just math.

31:52

And she pulls him past classrooms that don't

31:54

have teachers where kids are like watching stuff

31:56

on their phone, which is how it would

31:58

happen today. For sure. Yeah, or

32:00

they're getting taxed or whatever, you know, right

32:03

and pulls them into a room with all the

32:05

teachers and they're all just like What's happening and

32:07

Connor Roy gets up and is like terrorism And

32:10

we never see him again. Love that

32:12

he and his next youngest brother is

32:14

in this. Yeah. Well, that's like I texted you

32:16

guys Yesterday, I was

32:18

like the amount of succession cast

32:21

members in a movie this bad

32:23

is baffled Like that

32:25

most of these people would go on to

32:27

be on one of the best TV shows

32:29

ever and they're just like the wind Great.

32:33

I mean that the career trajectory

32:36

they went on over those ten

32:38

years between this and that show

32:40

starting Yeah, perfect. Perfect And

32:42

so they go back to their classrooms

32:45

to basically release their kids to

32:47

go home Yeah And this is where we see

32:49

the quote that says without the bees we have

32:51

like four years left and they're like Maybe this

32:53

is Einstein and then below it Robert Frost for

32:56

no reason but he runs into John Leguizamo

32:58

in the hallway Who is the math teacher?

33:00

Yeah, he actually saw him in the

33:02

group meeting with the other teachers So

33:05

John Leguizamo was like I'm gonna go

33:07

get my wife and kid and we're

33:09

gonna leave the area And he's like

33:11

do you and Alma want to come

33:13

with us? Alma is Marky Mark's wife,

33:15

but like John Leguizamo knows some like

33:17

real bad shit about his wife Yeah,

33:19

never gets explained and I the only

33:22

reason I say it's real bad shit

33:24

is because if it is just dessert

33:26

like he's way Overreacting.

33:28

I don't think he's it's related to this

33:30

incident. I think there's something else Okay Because

33:33

we do find out from him later and

33:35

literally like in this scene that on their

33:37

wedding day Accidentally walked in on her before

33:39

the wedding and she was crying because she

33:42

didn't want to get married and then got

33:44

married anyway But we also don't

33:46

know what happened with that or why he

33:48

doesn't know what happened with that or why

33:51

I think he just doesn't like her but

33:53

then she's also she's a crazy character Yes,

33:55

she is. I think what M night

33:57

was trying to do was portray

34:00

someone who is maybe

34:02

not neurotypical and does

34:04

not display their emotions

34:06

externally readily, but

34:09

instead he writes her like a mannequin

34:11

because she has no emotion for anything,

34:14

not just like, hey, I'm uncomfortable maybe

34:16

sharing or delving into this. It's

34:19

literally like she reads her lines off a cue

34:21

card because she did not know them. It's baffling,

34:24

especially for someone who has so much

34:26

Riz. Like it's Zooey Deschanel, people have

34:28

created whole shows around her and her

34:30

fun personality and it is completely absent

34:33

in this film. I wonder if it's

34:35

just like this genre is not for her.

34:37

Like I love when she does comedy stuff,

34:39

like she's so good at it and her

34:41

show that New Girl was amazing. She's so

34:43

stiff in it. I know, right? If it

34:46

feels like it got her last minute. Something

34:48

and she didn't know her lines. But in night

34:50

I don't feel as great at directing women.

34:52

You know, I was trying to think

34:54

about that because I feel like he's done okay

34:57

in other movies. Just the village with

34:59

that with what's her face. But that's also Tony

35:01

Collette. So maybe it's because it was Tony

35:03

Collette. Tony Collette's amazing. Yeah. And

35:06

she's amazing. Or they picked Zooey up last minute and she

35:08

really is just reading cue cards because she's like put me

35:10

in coach. I'm in town. I guess I

35:12

have no idea. Anyway, so John Leguizamo immediately

35:14

is like, oh, you guys fought and are

35:17

you breaking up? And he's and Marky Mark's

35:19

like, no, we're just talking. Don't worry about

35:21

that. So he tries to call

35:23

her. She doesn't answer. He goes home or

35:26

we cut to her at home. Yeah. And

35:28

her phone is ringing. And initially we think it's him because it

35:30

says Joey and she's not answering it. And I was like, is

35:33

his name Joey? I don't remember. That's the exact

35:35

same time I looked up what his name was and it

35:37

was not Joey. Yeah, it was not Joey. Joey is someone

35:39

else. Marky Mark gets home

35:41

and they find out via the news

35:43

that they're evacuating the entire city because

35:45

whatever the airborne toxin is, it turns

35:48

off the self preservation switch in your

35:50

brain, which causes you to die by

35:52

suicide. However, there's some loose movie logic

35:54

there. Yeah, very nebulous brain

35:56

logic. But then also they're like,

35:59

it's airy. You're born evacuate

36:01

instead of just like

36:03

hug your windows and hunker down.

36:05

Yeah, makes no sense at all It

36:08

also has to do more than just turn

36:10

off your self-preservation Because

36:12

I refuse to believe that all of

36:14

those people were like I guess to

36:17

the point where they were okay to

36:19

end their life by suicide Without that

36:21

self-preservation like self-preservation means like taking risks

36:24

like Right like

36:26

I'm gonna just shove this glass into my

36:28

throat if you said self-preservation And

36:31

then we got the crazies that

36:33

makes more sense Yeah Because

36:35

then as people acting in ways that they wouldn't

36:37

normally act because it is a

36:40

jump to be like self-preservation is

36:42

turned off to self-annihilation

36:44

Like there's a gap between that

36:46

that the movie does not understand

36:49

It's just like immediately after the

36:51

switch is turned off people just

36:53

kill themselves And I think

36:55

it's because this movie thinks that's creepy

36:57

and scary and is trying to like

37:00

loosely tie Scary scenes

37:02

of mass suicide together. I

37:04

mean that is what it is trying to

37:06

do Yes, it is failing to do that

37:08

in a way that I think is a

37:10

movie. Yeah. Oh, yeah, this is not it's

37:12

funny Yeah, yeah, like I get why the

37:14

listeners would want this to be your last

37:16

episode But this isn't

37:18

as fun as like a Mikey movie,

37:20

you know Weird

37:23

fun shit My

37:27

last episode is my episode Continuously.

37:29

Well, your last is a hose. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah

37:31

I'll pick some if you guys want me to

37:33

pick a bonkers movie every month to come back

37:35

and do crazy-ass movie would love Absolutely.

37:38

Yes, but like also don't commit to something

37:40

you can't do Like

37:43

sure yeah, like figure out schedule wise

37:45

but absolutely yeah, well I was gonna

37:47

do that but your fucking dreadlocks Have

37:54

not dreaded any lock I was talking to

37:56

the listeners. Oh my bad. Okay. Anyway,

37:58

we cut to the train station.

38:01

They miraculously got there without having to

38:03

go outside. Of course Paige. And

38:05

they meet up with John Lindgwisombo and his daughter and

38:07

he's like, Yvette, his wife is stuck, she's gonna take

38:09

the next train. But Paige, it doesn't matter if

38:11

they go outside because the stuff is not where they

38:13

are yet. That we know of because we

38:16

don't fully know where exactly it is. I

38:18

mean that is fair because it's not just

38:20

like one strong gust of wind. We find

38:22

out later that fields can just like go

38:24

off for no reason. They should have never

38:27

tried to explain any of it and just

38:29

had it be scary. Yeah. I

38:31

mean I do think they would have had to

38:33

reveal that it was like being carried on the

38:35

wind or whatever, we're not sure. They could have

38:37

just been like, we think it's airborne, it makes

38:39

people hurt themselves. Yeah. Done. Yeah.

38:43

But then stay inside. Stay inside is the right

38:45

call. You're right. Abandon your child to mark. We're

38:47

about to get there so Yvette's not gonna

38:49

make it. And Alma is there and

38:51

he's like, hey John Lindgwisombo and he's just

38:54

like, hey. And she's like, he knows

38:56

we fought. And then immediately like, I'm gonna

38:58

sit separately and think about things on

39:00

the train. And you're like, what is happening?

39:02

She's like, I'm going to get on

39:04

the train, but we're not going to sit

39:07

together. And you're like, all right. What

39:09

you're seeing is an avoided dismissive

39:11

person trying to create space in

39:13

a relationship because they're uncomfortable with

39:15

their emotions. Sure. Sure. But also

39:17

no one started shit. No, they

39:19

started. That's what I would do. I would start

39:22

shit just so I could get away and like,

39:24

you know, it was terrible. I, a lot of

39:26

therapy, but like, it's not good. No, it was

39:28

terrible. Yeah. I had to stop that clearly. Yeah.

39:31

But a lot of therapy helps. Yeah. But she

39:33

is like picking a fight. Yeah. To create that

39:35

space. That was my point. Yeah. Cause like, it

39:37

is a weird overreaction. We cut to them

39:39

on the train. They're all sitting together except

39:42

for her. She's sitting alone. So we cut

39:44

from them on the train to a park

39:46

in Philadelphia where this is the

39:48

chain of gunshots where the first

39:51

guy shoots himself somehow in the middle

39:53

of the head, which is, I mean, if

39:55

you have longer arms, I guess, I

39:57

think he got snowed. And then there's like a

39:59

chain. Yes, and it's

40:01

the wind we cut back to

40:03

the train and this is where we cut

40:05

to her conversation of just like we ate

40:08

tiramisu together that is it which

40:10

she is saying without anyone else around

40:12

it is just her talking to Josh

40:14

Joey I honestly do believe that

40:16

that's as far as this emotional affair has

40:19

gone Yes, but it doesn't mean it's the only

40:21

one but we don't know because the movie doesn't tell

40:23

us I mean by the end of this movie

40:25

all of her romantic options have been killed off except

40:27

for Marky Mark Yeah, pretty much. So she you know

40:29

decides to baby trap him or whatever I

40:33

think he was down with it. He didn't care. Oh,

40:35

I think he wanted a child. Yeah, I think this

40:37

is what he wanted the whole Yeah, I agree

40:40

Yeah But they find out that it's

40:42

spread to Philadelphia and Boston for people calling on

40:44

the plane and we find out that Yvette is

40:46

on A bus to Princeton to try and meet

40:48

up with them, but this is also where she's

40:50

like, it's in Boston They're like, how do you

40:53

know and she's like I told you he was

40:55

just a friend and you're like, yeah

40:57

What like calm down biz Marky? I

41:00

didn't even ask you you got

41:02

on the train Watch

41:04

I'm full trees You're

41:11

gonna breathe in all of it You

41:16

got plastic feet Anyway

41:19

all of a sudden the train stops and

41:21

they all get out outside to where the

41:23

stuff is And the conductors

41:25

are all in like a circle and and

41:27

Marky Mark is just like what's happening? Why

41:29

the train not going please take me on

41:31

the train and they're just like we can't

41:33

get in contact with anybody Which

41:35

seems ridiculous since I would one would

41:37

assume the people that they're trying to

41:40

contact her like in an office Where

41:42

they are probably not exposed, right?

41:45

The fact that like cell phones stopped

41:48

working and like some places lose power.

41:50

I thought was insane, right? I was

41:52

like there's so many redundancies in all

41:54

of those systems that like they probably

41:56

won't run for weeks after everyone at

41:59

that office Yeah, well, and

42:01

we do reveal that this only happened for a

42:03

day. This is a day-long apocalypse. I think it's

42:05

like 18 hours, right? It's

42:08

25 hours. Oh, okay,

42:10

okay. Yeah, anyway, they all end up at a

42:12

diner because the train's not gonna go no more.

42:15

And this is where he introduces the mood

42:18

ring to the little girl, Jess. We see

42:20

him put it on his finger as he

42:22

gets packing when they leave initially. And

42:24

he's like, oh, the color yellow, that

42:26

means extreme anxiety and fear of death.

42:30

I do like that he's like, it means

42:32

you're gonna laugh any minute now, and then

42:34

she doesn't, and he barks at her, and

42:37

she's like, ha ha ha ha ha ha.

42:39

And he's like, I told you, and you're

42:41

like, okay. Meanwhile, at the diner, they see

42:43

a video on somebody's phone of a guy

42:45

just letting lions rip him apart, and it's

42:47

supposed to be scary, but boy is it

42:49

hilarious. Man, when that first arm, and

42:51

it cuts back and it shows you that like

42:54

an arm was ripped off or whatever, and then

42:56

the other lion grabs another, it looks so fake.

42:58

I literally said to myself, he'll never financially recover

43:00

from this. He'll never financially recover from this? And

43:04

then that whole scene just became funny to me because

43:06

it was like I was seeing the tiger king in

43:08

there do that, and I was like, you know, it's

43:10

funny. I like that he was in

43:12

there with seven lions before it became dangerous, and then

43:14

waving his arms at him is when it became dangerous.

43:17

Is when it became dangerous. Anyway,

43:20

the power goes out, and they're like, if we stay in this diner, we die. And

43:23

I'm like, no, literally the opposite. Stay

43:25

in the diner maximum overdrive style, and

43:27

you're fine. Exactly. It's

43:30

so funny to me because it's like the power goes

43:32

out, and then immediately that dude stands up and goes,

43:34

if we stay in here, we'll die. Yeah. It's

43:37

like the lady just, we made you! We

43:39

made you! Like

43:42

that level of insanity. It just

43:44

felt like a church production of

43:46

like a morality tale that is

43:49

set at the post apocalypse. Like

43:51

it's that level of acting, and

43:53

it's weird to see in an

43:56

M. Night Shyamalan movie. Like this

43:58

guy made signs. Super weird. weird

44:00

because literally they're like it's not happening 90 miles

44:02

from here so they all run out of the

44:04

diner into the place where it's happening like a

44:06

race just started paid nobody pays

44:08

their check everyone's off their ass

44:10

run into their cars one and

44:12

the cars are driving away everyone's trying to get in

44:14

cars and like they finally flagged down a station wagon

44:16

with the plant man that we will get more about

44:18

him in just a second and then John like was

44:21

on the flags down a Jeep and he's like I'm

44:23

gonna go in the Jeep to get my wife please

44:25

take my daughter he should have just gotten in the

44:27

station wagon anyway I mean yeah but this is

44:29

where Johnny legs like just makes up a

44:31

stat like there's like a 62% chance

44:34

she's still alive which is fully

44:36

a made-up stat he just makes

44:38

up a stat oh yeah he makes

44:40

up probabilities this entire movie and he's just

44:42

like yeah cuz I'm a man I was

44:45

like do you count cards too like what

44:47

it's what is your real job wild but

44:49

he just made that up right like I yeah what

44:52

is he basing that on I don't know well

44:54

and then this is also the like don't take her

44:56

hand unless you mean it and like she does you

44:59

know they save that kid I mean they do save

45:01

that kid and it shows later on that like that

45:03

kid is still like in their house and like they

45:05

yeah yeah like I I do

45:07

feel like the whole movie the

45:09

kid calls her aunt new girl

45:11

or whatever her name in the

45:13

movie I can't remember what is

45:16

her name Alma Elmo Elmo it's

45:18

me Zoe D'Evezell Elmo that's wait

45:20

what Elmo no it's Zoe D'Eche

45:22

now Alma yeah like Alma the

45:24

younger anyway Elmo tickle me so

45:26

he goes off into the Jeep they go in

45:28

the station wagon and in the station wagon this

45:30

guy's like hey we own a nursery we're

45:33

gonna go grab some stuff and then we'll get

45:35

on the road we do see behind their house

45:38

is a giant nuclear power plant yes which

45:40

that is like a red herring right I

45:42

guess yeah or is it what is actually

45:44

happening and they're just way wrong in this

45:46

movie because we get zero confirmation we get

45:49

zero confirmation it could be either the guys

45:51

in there are probably okay because that's probably

45:53

sealed off probably they they take him into

45:55

the greenhouse and he's like I think it's

45:58

the plants releasing chemicals you guys like I

46:00

love hot dogs, and he does like a two

46:02

minute speech on the merits of hot dogs And

46:05

I was like preaching to the choir sir. You

46:07

don't need to convince me to eat a cased

46:09

meat. I'm already on board Yeah, I do

46:11

love it like his wife comes running back

46:13

in with like a I don't know like

46:15

a big like ice box They're like cooler

46:17

and he's like did you get the mustard

46:20

and she's like yeah Yeah I was like

46:22

these guys like hot dogs more than regular

46:24

people like hot dogs like I get everyone

46:26

likes hot dogs Well, this was a big

46:28

hot dog paid for this movie. Oh, yeah.

46:31

Yeah. Yeah, like they're like It's definitely the

46:33

plants in the air not the meat I'm

46:38

not saying Oscar Mayer wrote this movie,

46:40

but like checks out. Yeah, it does

46:42

anyway as They're

46:44

handling their hot dog situation We cut

46:46

to the Jeep where they're driving and

46:49

all of a sudden they see a

46:51

bunch of landscapers hanging from trees Yeah,

46:54

where they have like climbed up to hang themselves

46:56

They've climbed up their own ladders. It's

46:58

creepy. It is really creepy scene.

47:00

Yeah Yeah But so he's trying to

47:02

distract the people in the Jeep with a

47:04

math problem That I don't have time to

47:06

verify if he's right and they like cut

47:08

they like close the vents They close the

47:11

windows But it's a fucking soft top because

47:13

who the fuck buys a soft top and

47:15

there's a hole in the soft top Jeep

47:17

owners Yeah, I have a

47:19

soft top. We told you not to buy Look

47:22

at the plants are trying to kill everybody

47:24

fucking like whatever anyway He realizes

47:27

that they're going to get infected because there is

47:29

a hole in the top of the Jeep the

47:31

driver of the Jeep crashes that Jeep into

47:34

a tree two people fly out of the

47:36

windshield and John language Elmo gets out because

47:38

he has survived and uses glass from the

47:40

windshield to cut his wrists Which by the

47:43

way would not be very possible because of

47:45

safety glass, but okay, let's talk about this

47:47

They went into this place knowing it was

47:49

a victim in a soft top. They made

47:51

that choice. They did. Yes That's true. I

47:53

would never take my car a soft top

47:55

be like, you know, we should take this

47:57

in a place where there is a airborne

48:00

Yeah quick somebody stabbed the roof. Yeah. Yeah,

48:02

everybody just put their n95s on and just

48:04

walk around Well, that's the two ladies with the gas

48:06

mask. I know right there the best page I will

48:08

say this if it's February at the end of the

48:10

month, you'll only have 1.3 million dollars Okay,

48:13

but if you have 31 days, it's like

48:15

10.7 million dollars. Okay, so it is accurate

48:17

depending upon the month depending on the month

48:19

Okay. Thank you So the

48:22

station wagon crew decides to go to the next

48:24

town over and as they're driving They see something

48:26

in the road which are clearly dead bodies, but

48:28

he gets out of the car to inspect it

48:30

Yeah, and I was like get back in the

48:32

fucking car But I do like that She's like

48:34

we've got your binoculars from when you spied on

48:36

the neighbors But like you could use binoculars

48:38

from inside the car We've all seen Jurassic Park

48:40

But no he gets out of the car to

48:42

look at it and then they're like we got

48:44

to get back in the car Those are bodies

48:46

they drive back the way they came where they

48:48

run into an army Jeep carrying Kendall Roy Who's

48:51

like the base is affected there were soldiers in

48:53

the barbed wire, which means the people who? Were

48:56

forced to kill themselves by the trees ended

48:58

up in the barbed wire and he was

49:00

like, okay So that's two directions down. It's

49:03

it's in two different directions while this is

49:05

happening Joey calls and

49:07

she won't pick it up and they can't get

49:09

John Leguizamo on the phone spoiler They're not gonna

49:11

be able to know and at one point marky

49:13

mark just goes why did it start in parks?

49:17

In Harvard, yeah, did he park the

49:20

car? Yeah, it's just a

49:22

crazy thing to say It was very

49:24

funny and like there's no audience Surrogant in this

49:26

film because like somebody needs to be like who

49:28

fuck cares. Yeah, we are dealing with this situation

49:31

Well, and so they find out

49:33

that in literally all directions on the

49:35

road It has killed people

49:37

which part of me is like great

49:39

stay in your car and keep driving

49:41

Like what do we do? but they

49:43

all instead get out of the cars

49:45

to stand around and take a phone

49:47

call from this woman's daughter at Princeton

49:49

who was Inside and fine and then

49:51

at some point went outside Or opened

49:54

a door or something and died by

49:56

suicide. Yeah, and it's sad and scary,

49:58

but then they all back in the

50:00

car and like Marky Mark ends up crying on

50:02

the side of the road. He's like, okay, we

50:05

got to make a plan. Maybe it's plants. Let's

50:07

go to the plant place. Let's go to the

50:09

place with a fewest amount of

50:11

people because there's no population there

50:13

and it's hit big population centers

50:15

first. And then they all decide

50:17

to walk through the outside where

50:19

the airborne pathogens are. Oh yeah.

50:21

To wherever this next place is.

50:23

They are thinking it's terrorists way

50:25

too long into this. You know,

50:27

like. Yeah. And they're

50:29

still thinking it's terrorists when it's hitting like

50:31

podunk little towns. Like the amount

50:34

of like scale it would take to

50:36

pull that off. Yeah. It

50:38

just makes it like that's definitely not what it is. You know?

50:41

So I couldn't believe that they were like, no, it's

50:43

terrorists. We just got to stay off the roads and

50:45

out of big cities. No. But you

50:47

know, I also lived through COVID. So there are a

50:49

lot of dumb people out there. It's very true. Well,

50:52

and I'm like, hey, time to off

50:54

road in your vehicles or drive wherever.

50:56

Like you're in cars. Yeah. You're

50:58

going to breathe air. Like in my heart of hearts, I

51:01

believe because COVID was serious, but not

51:03

like bleeding out of your eyes. Serious.

51:07

It wasn't as serious as this is in the movie.

51:09

I think COVID killed kids or like gave you like

51:11

really horrific symptoms instead of just like the flu. I

51:13

mean, for some people it did, but it, you know,

51:15

some people that killed them. Yeah. I

51:17

think it hit that sweet spot on like plague ink

51:20

where it's like not too like it got the spread

51:22

and not the, it's like the seriousness was, you know

51:24

what I'm talking about? If he goes too deadly, it

51:26

won't spread enough. You know what I'm saying? Exactly what

51:28

game you're talking about. Yeah. Plague

51:30

ink is one of my favorite bubble games. But

51:32

in this situation where like everyone is dying, I

51:34

think people would shut the fuck up and stay

51:36

still. Yes. Same. But

51:39

I have been proven wrong by humanity before. True. Yeah.

51:41

Anyway, they start walking out in the open

51:44

unprotected and they start to break into smaller

51:46

groups because they think that'll do it. That

51:48

that will stop it from triggering like a

51:50

landmine. But as they move across this field,

51:53

the group we're following is smaller. They're out

51:55

front. And then we've got Kendall Roy in

51:57

the middle and then we've got a larger

51:59

group behind. And as they're walking across the

52:02

field the wind Passes over

52:04

them so are the plants controlling

52:06

the wind no the plants are

52:08

releasing the gas and the wind

52:10

is carrying it But the wind so

52:12

are we watching like plant farts blowing

52:15

their faith are they like? Yeah, literally

52:17

crop dusting people as they walk through

52:19

their feet. Yeah, the crop Yeah,

52:22

oh my god the happening is a

52:25

plant fart movie Yes, I don't think

52:27

M night knows where wind comes from

52:29

you against a bunch of fucking vegans

52:32

Well, and that's the thing is like they do

52:34

seem to be controlling the wind even though that's

52:36

not something plants do but

52:39

like as they're walking

52:42

she's trying to tell about the tiramisu and Kendra

52:45

Roy stops in the middle. He's like my

52:47

firearm is my friend It will not leave

52:49

my side and then of course unfortunately Unfortunately

52:51

shoots himself as the first group makes a

52:54

run for it and then over the hill

52:56

We just hear multiple shots as

52:58

the rest of the group Unfortunately

53:00

dies by suicide. We don't have to

53:02

see it though Yeah, we don't have to see it and she's

53:04

like I don't want to be the asshole who didn't do

53:06

anything about it It's like girl. What could you do? Well,

53:08

and they're like yelling at marky mark, and he's

53:11

like I don't fucking know what to do

53:13

no. I'm a science flash English teacher This

53:15

is my favorite scene of the film because

53:17

he's thinking just give me a second, okay

53:20

Cora He's

53:23

using a scientific mind as a

53:25

high school physical science teacher that

53:27

he had to get a certificate

53:29

for so he continued teaching Volleyball

53:33

like yes, they

53:35

could have made him a professor first off

53:37

It's gonna be a different film, but now

53:39

we can wear high school science Do you

53:41

think marky mark is believable as a professor

53:43

Mikey? I believed him as

53:45

a assistant football coach who had to

53:48

teach us subjects They forced

53:50

him to teach physical science like I do

53:52

think Like

53:56

an Oscar Isaac or something oh yeah, I

53:58

would buy an Oscar Isaac He is

54:00

just like give me a minute and like

54:02

I would have run the other I would

54:04

have ran away from the group killing Themselves.

54:07

Yeah, absolutely. Of course, that's what you should

54:09

do 20 people

54:11

are just sitting there. Like what do

54:13

we do? Mark you mark? He's like

54:15

give me a second I can't think

54:17

how dark has your timeline gotten where

54:19

you're asking marky mark like life changing

54:21

or altering decisions I mean he does have

54:24

good vibration I just put together that they were like rubbing

54:26

this film in his face with hot dogs when they know that

54:28

he owns a burger He

54:32

didn't at the time He

54:34

was still just trying to get people to forget about that time that

54:36

he beat a man basically to death Yeah,

54:39

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journey today with bite. Anyway

56:57

they run and they've got two kids with

56:59

them so it's like it's like the Marky

57:02

Mark, Zoe Deschanel, Jess, the little girl and

57:04

then two like 12 year

57:06

old boys who have managed to get this

57:08

far. They're like 12 or 13 like they're

57:10

they're pretty young-ish yeah but like they're

57:12

here to pad the kill count you

57:14

sort of know that going into all

57:16

of their scenes together yeah like I

57:19

was not at all shocked when they

57:21

die the way they die I mean

57:23

I was cuz it's kids and usually people don't

57:25

do that to kids in a movie but anyway

57:27

so they as they run across the field find

57:29

a truck with the door open and the alarm

57:31

still going and in the distance they see a

57:33

house which like I thought it was nuts

57:35

that he goes oh look there's a truck

57:38

I wonder if there's a map in there

57:40

and I was like Marky Mark there's a

57:42

truck in there get in the truck get

57:44

in the fucking truck roll up the windows

57:46

and drive to fucking I don't know Michigan

57:48

or some shit like get west yeah well

57:51

and then not only is there a

57:53

map in there at a time when cell phones and

57:55

smartphones existed but they

57:57

they don't get in the truck and

58:00

They inserted the sound of flies around the

58:02

truck as if they were gonna find a

58:04

dead body in that truck. They don't. I

58:06

know, I heard that too. I was like,

58:09

are they trying to tell me the truck

58:11

is dead? What is this foley? We made

58:13

you! So

58:15

they go to the house, which turns out to be

58:17

a model home. Yeah,

58:19

it's like a stage unit. And

58:22

what we come to find out is where they are,

58:24

they were gonna build a bunch of track homes there.

58:27

Or they were gonna build, I think it was like

58:29

1300 houses there. Something,

58:31

and then they didn't. It just like stopped

58:33

for no reason. Well it was 2008,

58:35

like this was the time. I think maybe

58:38

M. Night Shyamalan was like trying to

58:40

blow the whistle on the real estate

58:42

bubble going on at that time. Doubt

58:44

it, but maybe. He was like, listen,

58:46

the happenings really about subprime mortgages. Right.

58:50

Y'all are just too stupid to get it. If I was M.

58:52

Night, I would hold to that story so hard. Oh, that would've

58:54

been funny. They're in

58:56

the model home. And at this point, Marky Mark

58:58

is just like, I think it's the plane. Why

59:01

is it always starting to park? When he

59:03

picks up that glass of wine, it does

59:05

not at all acknowledge that it's a fake

59:07

glass of wine. And looks like he's about to

59:09

drink it. He's like swilling it around, like

59:11

he's gotta let it breathe or whatever.

59:13

This movie is a rom-com, I think.

59:16

Maybe. And it was just like M.

59:18

Night Shyamalan directed it. So it comes

59:20

off creepy. I don't know, but he

59:22

then goes up to a ficus tree that is

59:24

clearly fake from the jump. Yeah. And

59:27

he's like, hello? Oh my God. We're just

59:29

gonna take what we need. I laughed. And

59:31

then we're gonna go. Is that okay? And

59:33

he's like, oh, it's plastic. And

59:35

the tree is like moving, you know, like the

59:37

AC's directly on it. It's very funny. It was

59:40

like he was doing a bit for everyone else

59:42

in the room, but no one else was in

59:44

the room. And I was like, I was laughing

59:46

hysterically. And I was like, oh wait, this is

59:48

like serious. Yeah. I think. They

59:50

want me to think he's serious right now. I

59:52

was losing my mind. Losing my damn mind.

59:54

Cause it was moving. And even the movement

59:56

looked goofy. And I was like, there's no

59:59

way. real plant that's like

1:00:01

moving in the house and he actually gets

1:00:03

to talk I'm like that that's

1:00:05

not jumping a shark that's jumping

1:00:07

a whole aquarium yeah like that's

1:00:09

so crazy and then when he

1:00:12

was like oh it's a fake tree I was

1:00:14

like no shit it's a fake tree it has

1:00:16

a basket for a bottom like bruh I've got

1:00:18

a basket for a bottom full

1:00:21

of cake page got a basket full of

1:00:24

cake on that Mike cake cake anyway

1:00:26

it's a model home they look out and

1:00:28

they see more people running towards the model

1:00:30

home community and they all

1:00:33

died oh my god they turn on

1:00:35

a lawnmower and lay in front of it

1:00:37

when they start like running towards the house

1:00:39

and then they pause because that's part of

1:00:41

it right right it honestly like made me

1:00:43

laugh because at this point they're making it

1:00:45

clear that it is the number

1:00:47

of people right like the plants

1:00:49

will only tolerate so many people

1:00:51

like it's population control but then

1:00:54

they never bring that message home

1:00:56

right you know so like if you

1:00:58

exceed that fields population limit the

1:01:00

plants are gonna fart you to

1:01:02

death yes that's insane yeah the

1:01:04

trees are like you dealt pollution

1:01:06

so we're gonna whoever smelt it

1:01:09

dealt at you just like yeah

1:01:11

silent but deadly that should have

1:01:13

been the name of this movie silent but deadly because

1:01:15

the trees are killing people with farts yeah

1:01:17

what's the worst fart you've ever had like

1:01:19

do you ever have like a fart that

1:01:21

you remember was so crazy remembered it I

1:01:23

don't catalog my farts yes

1:01:26

missing out Mikey tell me about it my friend

1:01:28

Brent's 21st birthday party we wow

1:01:31

the casino you have like a

1:01:33

worst fart story just ready to

1:01:35

go it's also my worst throw-up

1:01:38

story oh no tell me more

1:01:40

Mikey well we were at Tunica,

1:01:42

Mississippi casinos for his 21st birthday

1:01:45

for the weekend okay where on

1:01:47

Saturday we drank all day and

1:01:50

gamble all like heavily intoxicated sure

1:01:52

plus seafood buffet that's a dangerous

1:01:54

combination it was the worst combination

1:01:57

I've ever had we're like

1:01:59

I threw up I can't even talk

1:02:01

about because they'll make you like but like chunks of

1:02:03

crab came up Meld

1:02:07

it was tasted bad like it the throw

1:02:10

up made me want to throw up and

1:02:12

then like there were farts with it

1:02:14

And I was just like I feel

1:02:17

terrible. Oh god. That is

1:02:19

terrible I'm gonna be real vulnerable

1:02:21

with you guys right now for

1:02:23

my worst fart story Let's get real with it.

1:02:26

It was the first time Jake ever stayed over

1:02:28

and Burgers

1:02:30

from a fancy burger place and

1:02:33

then you know the evening progressed We're asleep

1:02:36

and I wake up to the loudest

1:02:38

fart I've ever heard and then also

1:02:40

realized it's coming out of my own

1:02:42

body Jake

1:02:45

also woke up and was like what the

1:02:48

hell was that and I was like, I'm

1:02:50

sorry, but I think you're really cool Like

1:02:54

hey, I was asleep didn't

1:02:56

mean to and then we laughed about it and we're

1:02:58

still married to this day You're welcome. Pro tip fart

1:03:00

in front of the people you love the family that

1:03:02

farts together stays together page together Anyway,

1:03:05

as they're running away from these people laying in

1:03:07

front of this lawnmower that scene was scary Like

1:03:09

well, not scary baby because it's like you see

1:03:11

it coming Yeah, like it is sort of tense

1:03:14

You do see the lawnmower like roll

1:03:16

up on this dude and start chopping

1:03:18

him in half It's very maximum overdrive

1:03:20

though, which I don't even know if a lawnmower

1:03:23

could do that Like it would definitely hurt and

1:03:25

kill you but like the lawnmower could do that.

1:03:27

You kill somebody with a lawnmower Yeah, it's a

1:03:29

big ride on mower. So yeah, I guess have you not

1:03:31

seen dead alive page? I

1:03:33

have seen dead alive. I haven't actually

1:03:35

straps it to his chest. It's awesome

1:03:38

Anyway, so they pass a sign that

1:03:40

says new home 300k and up and I was like,

1:03:42

oh if only those damn subprime mortgage

1:03:44

I had that same Fucking

1:03:47

thought I was like wow It's a fucking

1:03:49

mansion and they're like it's three hundred thousand

1:03:51

dollars and I'm like, I know those

1:03:53

are some nice ass houses on that side

1:03:55

I I was having some thoughts about like

1:03:57

how shitty that I was like looking at

1:03:59

my small-ass house that's more than 300,000. It's

1:04:02

like man be nice to have it some of that

1:04:04

stuff. Yeah that's less than half

1:04:06

of the cost of my starter

1:04:08

home in California. I mean we all

1:04:11

paid more than that for our starter homes for sure.

1:04:13

Not in California. I know. I paid less than 300k

1:04:15

but I have a very small house that's a fucking

1:04:17

mansion. Yeah. I didn't realize you paid less than... I

1:04:19

mean it's way over that now though. Mikey got in

1:04:21

early he was the first one of us to buy a house. Boo

1:04:23

2021. I was like I better do this or I won't be able

1:04:26

to afford a house later. I bought a house in 2020. Oh

1:04:28

that's right you had to wait for yours to get built.

1:04:30

Oh that's right. I have the equity now where

1:04:32

I think I can upgrade but the interest rate's too high.

1:04:35

Yeah the interest rate's terrible. If you're comfortable don't

1:04:37

just stay put man. But I've got like over

1:04:39

150,000 in equity now. Gross.

1:04:42

Dang. We've got about 100,000 in equity

1:04:44

on our place and we only bought

1:04:46

it a year ago but that's California

1:04:48

for you. California. But like this is

1:04:50

just how we benefit from the problem.

1:04:52

I know. Yeah. But also backyards

1:04:55

yay. Yes. I mean I'm gonna have

1:04:57

to go ahead and say that I'm now it's not a

1:04:59

problem anymore because I'm in it. I will say

1:05:01

we did not buy in a gentrifying

1:05:04

neighborhood. Oh whoa. No I like.

1:05:06

Whoa whoa whoa whoa. By that I mean we

1:05:08

didn't take somebody's spot. We didn't like come in

1:05:10

and flip a house. We just

1:05:12

bought a house appropriate for our needs. I

1:05:14

mean you're not you're still living there. You didn't

1:05:16

flip anything. You just moved. No that's what I'm

1:05:18

saying. But like people buy cheap houses in developing

1:05:20

neighborhoods and flip them and it forces people out

1:05:23

and we did not do that. Yeah. We just

1:05:25

bought a house that we could live in. I

1:05:27

bought it. It was already renovated. I bought it.

1:05:29

It was already renovated. I didn't buy it to

1:05:32

renovate. That's true. You bought it to live

1:05:34

there. Anyway they take off running and they

1:05:36

find another house. But as they're like

1:05:38

walking the two boys are like why don't you

1:05:40

have kids? What's wrong with you? What's wrong with

1:05:42

your relationship? And you're like shut the fuck up

1:05:44

12 year old. And then that 12

1:05:46

year old gives them like some pretty solid

1:05:49

advice. Like like some like life advice you

1:05:51

would get from someone twice your age. Yeah

1:05:53

you have to take personal responsibility for

1:05:55

your part of the relationship. Yeah. It's

1:05:57

wild. But they also hear from a

1:06:00

radio that they find just tied to a

1:06:02

fence that there are police

1:06:04

borders west of the state and if you

1:06:06

can get to them it's safe but they

1:06:08

decide that they have to find a place to

1:06:10

stop and get some food because Jess is only

1:06:13

eight and so she's tired and hungry so they

1:06:15

stop at a house and it looks like there's

1:06:17

nobody in there but there is someone

1:06:19

moving inside yeah this is also where he tells her

1:06:21

about the lady at the pharmacy that it's a story

1:06:23

that goes nowhere but it's basically just like I don't

1:06:26

give a fuck about the tiramisu the world's ending yeah

1:06:28

he's like I don't give a

1:06:30

shit if you wanted a date yeah he's

1:06:32

like I want to have I want to

1:06:34

fucking bang before we die so like I

1:06:36

don't care about the tiramisu yeah I'm definitely

1:06:38

not gonna address this until months later yeah

1:06:40

if we live through today also we have

1:06:42

a kid now so like fuck yeah yeah

1:06:44

definitely argue those people are dead this is our

1:06:46

child now but like seeing what the parents did

1:06:48

they probably would I mean the kids probably better

1:06:51

off I guess I do that the kid is

1:06:53

better off John Lee was almost seemed like based

1:06:55

upon the fact that he was willing to leave

1:06:57

his child not the best father yeah what's the

1:06:59

math on that John Leguizamo there's like a 62%

1:07:01

chance he's a shitty dad Mikey

1:07:05

and 10% chance that he's gonna fight Santa to

1:07:07

the death oh yeah but only a 20%

1:07:11

concentrated power of will exactly

1:07:15

how it's gonna work

1:07:17

out I made

1:07:19

a music joke people got

1:07:21

so there's somebody moving in

1:07:24

the house and they're

1:07:27

not answering the door and Marky Mark is

1:07:29

like we should just leave like let's go

1:07:31

and the two boys are like no there's

1:07:34

somebody in there and the guy yells at

1:07:36

them like get the fuck away and they

1:07:38

don't they keep trying to beat that door

1:07:40

down and then the guy just pokes a

1:07:42

shotgun out and shoots one kid and then

1:07:44

shoots the other yeah like shoots

1:07:46

one kid in the chest with

1:07:48

like buckshot I found this not

1:07:51

realistic no one reason well for

1:07:53

17 reasons but the main reason

1:07:56

is once I hear a shot and see

1:07:58

a guy fall I'm fucking run Yes,

1:08:00

they're all like who shot him and I'm

1:08:02

like what is I would have grabbed the

1:08:05

kid and ran What do you mean who

1:08:07

shot him? Yeah? After

1:08:09

the second kid goes down Marky mark is

1:08:11

like how we gonna get out of this

1:08:13

nightmare? I was like you got to run

1:08:15

dude. They're dead. Let me see What

1:08:19

are the what's the odds of that

1:08:21

guy stopping and only shooting the two

1:08:23

children and not the adults children with

1:08:26

right zero and the guys like if you

1:08:28

don't want me to shoot more people and I was

1:08:30

like fucking you should Already be 20 yards away from

1:08:32

his house at this like run. Yeah, what

1:08:34

are you doing? Run the fuck away run

1:08:36

and Jess was smart Jess ran They catch

1:08:38

up to Jeff so he's like don't let

1:08:40

the gas in if I open the door But

1:08:42

his windows are open and like cracked yeah, so

1:08:44

the whole scene is just wild but at least

1:08:47

he is hunkered down He is hunkered down. I

1:08:49

guess I would let strangers in my house either

1:08:51

Yeah, we cut to a home of people. We've

1:08:53

never met before in our lives that have gas

1:08:55

masks smart Yeah, and they're watching the news where

1:08:57

the news is like no new people across the

1:09:00

border in a few hours And it

1:09:02

seems to be rising in sensitivity which brings

1:09:04

me to why was nobody answering the train

1:09:06

stuff? Because like that clearly the news is

1:09:09

still on because they just stayed in the

1:09:11

office Anyway, they're also interviewing

1:09:13

a guy who's like somebody who was

1:09:15

maybe a CIA informant. Maybe it was

1:09:17

nuclear power Maybe it's whatever and nobody

1:09:19

knows what it is, but I do like

1:09:22

that immediately Everyone's like it

1:09:24

was the government right the government did

1:09:26

this to us honestly not a

1:09:28

bad assumption Well, I mean it wouldn't

1:09:30

be the first time they tested stuff on a

1:09:32

populace of people But they did this to

1:09:35

San Francisco in the 60s just putting it out there Oh

1:09:37

this it was like LSD though, right like

1:09:39

it was it was an airborne Pathogen

1:09:42

that ended up making a few people

1:09:44

ill yeah But no nobody died that

1:09:47

we know of but still yeah now's

1:09:49

the time the real estate's too expensive

1:09:52

And San Francisco especially so what

1:09:54

you're saying is the plants from the

1:09:56

happening are really just trying to help out

1:09:58

people get into homes Yeah, yeah The happening

1:10:00

is a real estate boom. Yeah. Also

1:10:02

a kick-ass Supreme song. Anyway, they roll up to

1:10:04

this house because there's no power and there's nobody's

1:10:07

driven on the driveway in a long time and

1:10:09

they go down there and he's looking in the

1:10:11

windows and there's a lady like on the porch

1:10:13

with her lemonade just like you I in my

1:10:15

lemon drink that bell is for

1:10:18

my Retriever and you're just like what

1:10:20

she's got some real I'm gonna

1:10:22

fuck marky mark energy in this

1:10:24

first scene and it was weird

1:10:26

It is weird. She does kind of

1:10:28

seem like the old lady from axe. Yeah for

1:10:30

a little bit She's like, are you gonna steal

1:10:33

my underwear? He's like what? No, you

1:10:35

gotta steal my underwear and my virtue Didn't

1:10:38

know marky mark was into that and he's

1:10:41

like, no, we just you know, hey, it's

1:10:43

where we just need help There's something going

1:10:45

on and she's like, oh, I guess I

1:10:47

have to invite you in and feed you

1:10:49

now It's like technically you don't I ain't

1:10:51

gonna ask twice and I was like, well

1:10:53

you haven't asked once you haven't asked one

1:10:55

Technically you could just be like here's a

1:10:57

sandwich Bye or

1:10:59

just be like I don't know what's

1:11:01

happening. Please leave Yeah, this is her

1:11:03

property or just kill her and take

1:11:05

the property like it's the end of

1:11:07

the world Yeah, I mean they do

1:11:09

sort of conveniently kill this lady and

1:11:11

then they still don't stay the movie

1:11:14

conveniently kills her Yeah, marky mark.

1:11:16

Oh, yeah. No, I'm pretty sure that's

1:11:18

just the story marky mark tells the

1:11:21

world Yeah, what actually happened is after

1:11:23

having sex with the old lady and

1:11:25

the doll the wooden doll he murdered

1:11:27

her Yeah, the tree infected this

1:11:29

pillow and smothered her. Yeah, like oh

1:11:32

got the wood from the tree. Oh She

1:11:35

got splintered all up. Why is it always happening

1:11:37

in parks? So

1:11:41

they said to dinner and she's like who's chasing who

1:11:43

because clearly you guys have a shitty

1:11:45

relationship and he's like, haha It's

1:11:47

me. She had tiramisu

1:11:49

with Joey It's

1:11:51

a really weird scene like it's

1:11:53

a really weird who's chasing who calm

1:11:55

down my best friend's wedding Yeah, what are

1:11:58

we talking about? If you're chasing the bread

1:12:00

truck and who's chasing you and

1:12:02

like this is where Jess goes to reach for a

1:12:04

cookie that's on the table in the middle of the

1:12:06

table for everybody else like everyone to have. I was

1:12:08

gonna bring that up because it is

1:12:10

I'll say where you put an appetizer

1:12:12

you want to share with everyone you're

1:12:14

at dinner with. Yes. The cookie looks

1:12:16

fair game in my mind. Yes and

1:12:19

she slaps that girl's hand hard. Yeah.

1:12:21

And is like don't touch things that

1:12:23

aren't yours. What? And then later hands

1:12:25

her a cookie like a minute later

1:12:27

in the scene. Yeah I think the cookie

1:12:29

thing was a test to see if the

1:12:31

little girl was a Jedi. Yeah. Yeah. She

1:12:33

would have moved her hand had she known.

1:12:35

Well this lady is obsessed with them stealing

1:12:37

and so she she has her own

1:12:39

issues. Let's put it that way. Yeah this lady

1:12:42

is unwell which I think explains the

1:12:44

house the way it's set up with

1:12:46

like no power you know. Yeah. It's

1:12:48

she takes decent care of it but

1:12:50

it's not like a great place. Yeah.

1:12:52

You know she is somewhat self-sufficient but

1:12:54

I think like there's something that's

1:12:56

not fully connected upstairs. Yeah. I think is

1:12:58

the way she's positioned. I'm not quite sure

1:13:00

exactly what but something like that. Well and they

1:13:02

tell her they try to tell her like hey something's happened

1:13:05

she's like I don't want to hear about it keep it

1:13:07

to yourself. I guess I have to let you stay the

1:13:09

night so there's a guest room is up on the left.

1:13:11

Which like after that I wouldn't want

1:13:13

to stay the night I don't know.

1:13:15

Although this decision saves their life because

1:13:17

it does. We come to find out

1:13:20

while you were sleeping the thing the

1:13:22

bad thing ended. Well or it ends

1:13:24

the next morning but it reaches its peak of

1:13:26

sensitivity in the morning. Yeah. Just like me.

1:13:28

That's what you're most sensitive like that's what

1:13:30

that's what I like the insults hurt the

1:13:32

most. Yeah that's why we recorded night. Yeah

1:13:35

cuz you're the one that gets insulted a lot

1:13:37

on the podcast. 100% just

1:13:40

like the people with dreadlocks who are white

1:13:42

this is who I'm going for this episode.

1:13:44

I wish the plants would burp you to

1:13:46

death. Burp you to death. Todd

1:13:49

who do you want to pick to go after this

1:13:51

episode? Yeah yeah yeah yeah Texans you know

1:13:53

I feel like they are having a hard

1:13:55

enough time just being Texan. looking

1:14:00

flat about property taxes and stuff and taxes going

1:14:02

insane but like it is what it is I

1:14:04

don't really feel like I want to go after

1:14:06

anybody I'm gonna go after people who stand

1:14:08

on moving walkways that's a really really

1:14:11

good target yeah it's a

1:14:13

really good target and I don't

1:14:15

mean people who need assistance and that's why

1:14:17

they're on the moving walkway I mean the

1:14:19

people who are perfectly able to walk and

1:14:21

are moving and then just stop to stare

1:14:23

at their phone and hold up a whole

1:14:25

line of people you know who you are

1:14:27

I agree with that I have one yeah

1:14:29

people with PhDs who refer to themselves as

1:14:32

doctor I am on board all of this

1:14:34

I'm not on board with that because some of those are

1:14:36

gonna be the scientists that find out that the trees are

1:14:38

farting not unless it's Oscar Isaac if one of

1:14:40

those people is Marky Mark and he's got a

1:14:42

PhD that motherfucker is Marky Mark yeah but you

1:14:44

know he'd be like call me Ryan he'd be

1:14:47

like call me Dr. Marky PhD

1:14:49

PhD junken

1:14:52

why is it shot in parks why is

1:14:54

it always happened in a box cut to what's

1:14:56

never happening in a park after he

1:14:58

says that yeah it's only the two or

1:15:00

I guess maybe the quad at Princeton but

1:15:02

I wonder what they're gonna do to

1:15:05

commemorate to the Central Park disaster are

1:15:07

they gonna make another park I'm

1:15:09

gonna say terrarium there's

1:15:12

the Central Park massacre Park

1:15:14

anyway they're

1:15:17

all talking in the bedroom they're like it

1:15:20

was kind of fucked up how she hit a kid

1:15:22

and like yeah we should have maybe said

1:15:24

something in the moment and we didn't but

1:15:27

they're like well we'll stay tonight we'll just deal with her

1:15:29

we'll find out you know we'll find a different place tomorrow

1:15:31

dude she gets real weird before bed oh

1:15:33

yeah who doesn't yeah cuz she overhears them and

1:15:35

she's like you're gonna steal or murder me and they're

1:15:37

like um no we're not mark

1:15:40

you mark what no the

1:15:42

old lady's like in her nightgown being like

1:15:44

I'd choose a bear yeah you're like whoa

1:15:46

I would call by the way I mean

1:15:49

you should choose bear page fairs the

1:15:52

amount of bear attacks shockingly low compared

1:15:54

to the amount of people attacks just

1:15:56

saying statistically it's a good choice even

1:15:59

if you have to decide which one you

1:16:01

wanted to kill you. It's the bear. You have

1:16:03

to normalize for populations, though. I feel like there's

1:16:05

a lot more people than bears. That's true. There's

1:16:07

eight billion bears, there'd be a lot of bear

1:16:09

attacks. That is true. But also, I

1:16:11

think the bear doesn't want to interact

1:16:13

with you unless you, like, make it.

1:16:16

Most bears leave people alone. That's how

1:16:18

I am. No, if I learned anything from this movie,

1:16:20

all I have to do is shake my hand in

1:16:22

front of a wild animal, and it will then rip

1:16:24

it off. It'll snatch it. They also didn't say

1:16:26

what kind of bear. They didn't specify what

1:16:28

if it's panda. Paige, even if both

1:16:31

the choices are definitely going to kill

1:16:33

you, the bear is the better option.

1:16:35

Of course. That's what's scary about

1:16:37

it. Because the bear only wants to kill

1:16:39

you. Do they have weapons, or is it

1:16:42

like me and this other guy in the

1:16:44

woods and, like, the better man, like, we

1:16:46

have to kill each other? I sort of

1:16:48

like this man versus bear for love TV

1:16:50

show you're pitching right now. And

1:16:52

I know a guy who built a suit that can help us

1:16:55

with this fight. I'm just saying, like, I pick man because I

1:16:57

think I have a better chance of killing a man than a

1:16:59

bear. Well, but that's why they don't ask

1:17:01

the question of you. The question is asked of

1:17:03

women. That's probably why they pick bear.

1:17:05

Yes. Yeah, bear is the right choice.

1:17:07

I'm like, yeah, I kill a guy

1:17:10

in the woods. No one would know. Well, here's the

1:17:12

thing. If we had weapons, I, yeah, I'd

1:17:14

still probably pick bear. You'd pick bear. Bear's

1:17:16

the right choice. Bear's the right choice.

1:17:18

I do think I could outsmart a bear

1:17:21

more easily. I could outsmart a man, but

1:17:23

I am at a disadvantage being a five

1:17:25

foot two lady in a forest alone. Whereas

1:17:27

with bear, if I run away, that bear's

1:17:29

probably not going to chase me for very

1:17:31

long. It's probably like, oh good, she's gone.

1:17:33

I'm going to go keep doing

1:17:35

bear stuff like dancing at the

1:17:37

eagle. You know, if it's a

1:17:39

gay bear, I definitely choose bear. I

1:17:41

pick a white guy with dreadlocks and then

1:17:44

I have to kill him in the woods

1:17:46

because you know he goes to the woods

1:17:48

because he's a white guy with dreadlocks. Mikey,

1:17:50

when he's not in the woods, he's at

1:17:52

the bottom room. He's skateboarding on my truck.

1:17:54

It's a longboard, Mikey. There's a difference. Oh,

1:17:56

you're so skinny because you can't afford food.

1:17:59

Look at you. Okay, Mikey. What

1:18:01

are you gonna do kick him off the

1:18:03

podcast page? Yeah Anyway, he gets it the

1:18:05

next morning and Jess and Alma are gone

1:18:07

Now we did introduce Last night

1:18:10

briefly through one line of dialogue that there

1:18:12

is essentially quarters in the back of the

1:18:14

property that used to be part Of the

1:18:16

Underground Railroad and there's a speaking tube between

1:18:19

the two and so we hear Jess

1:18:21

and Alma So we know that they're in the

1:18:23

place of the speaking tube. Yeah, meanwhile, he walks

1:18:25

into a room and he's like, mrs Jones mrs.

1:18:28

Jones and he walked me fully into a

1:18:30

room where he can see a doll laying

1:18:33

on the bed He's like mrs. Jones and

1:18:35

I was like, that's clearly an evil doll,

1:18:37

bro Like do you think mrs. Jones

1:18:39

turned back into her Pinocchio version

1:18:42

of herself? Yeah Of

1:18:50

all the songs you could have gone I think Mikey chose

1:18:52

the right one a second ago when he was doing Mine

1:18:57

was me and mr. Jones me

1:18:59

and mr. Jones. I mean one

1:19:01

of them was correct both Yes

1:19:04

anyway You fully see the doll and then she

1:19:06

like pops out from behind the door and is

1:19:08

just like yo get out get out

1:19:10

now and he's Like I just want to talk

1:19:12

to you and she's like leave now and then

1:19:14

she walks out into the backyard and just immediately

1:19:16

like click The tree farts got her.

1:19:19

Yeah, cuz the wind blows on her She

1:19:22

gets crop dusted right in the face And

1:19:24

so she goes insane and like

1:19:26

tries to off herself right by

1:19:28

smashing her head into various windows,

1:19:30

right? And which would have which would

1:19:33

have let the air inside and marky mark

1:19:35

would have died That's why he had to go

1:19:37

into the basement where he could hear Zoey de Chanel

1:19:39

and his new daughter, right? And he's

1:19:41

just like I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm alone

1:19:43

No, I have to be with you and I

1:19:45

was like what like just wait it wait it

1:19:48

help man If I'm gonna die I'm

1:19:50

gonna do it with you like oh he's already taking

1:19:52

the gas because he's doing something Stupid and then they

1:19:54

like want me to feel like this is a

1:19:56

mr. Darcy moment where he starts to walk across this

1:19:58

field to her And I was like, that

1:20:01

is not what this is. And she walked out to

1:20:03

you, I was like, with Jess, and I was

1:20:05

like, so you're just gonna murder this kid? Like,

1:20:07

everyone's gonna die? I needed a scene

1:20:09

with New Girl and that little girl

1:20:12

where she was like, do you wanna

1:20:14

go outside? It will kill us. And

1:20:16

that little girl would be like, sure. For

1:20:18

me not to be like, oh, you're just

1:20:21

killing this child. This is a

1:20:23

horror movie for the child's perspective, because

1:20:25

every adult wants to kill her or

1:20:27

abandon her. Or make the worst decisions

1:20:29

regarding her safety and longevity. So

1:20:32

they go outside and then, automagically, it

1:20:34

has stopped at 9.58 AM. I

1:20:37

like to think that that plastic ficus put in a good

1:20:39

word. That plastic ficus

1:20:41

is like, hey man, that guy? They're cool,

1:20:43

they just wanna go. They're gonna

1:20:46

take what they need and go. They

1:20:48

recycle. Anyway, they go back inside and

1:20:50

hide in the cellar for a little bit. And

1:20:52

they're like, I guess it ended before we went

1:20:54

out there? And then we cut to three months

1:20:56

later. Oh wait, before we do all this,

1:20:59

but now that we're at the end of the

1:21:01

scene with like, or the sequence with the old

1:21:03

lady, the night before when she's like, what

1:21:05

are you gonna murder me? Marky Mark

1:21:07

answers with what, no. But he says

1:21:09

it in a way that makes it

1:21:12

sound like they're definitely gonna kill her.

1:21:14

He's like, what? No! Why would we

1:21:16

do that? Yeah, no. It only

1:21:18

ever happens in pox. It's just very funny

1:21:21

to me. Three months later, their

1:21:23

schools are already reopened. They're sending

1:21:25

Jess off to school and

1:21:27

Zoey Deschanel takes a pregnancy test while

1:21:29

Marky Mark is walking her to school.

1:21:31

And on the walk back, she reveals

1:21:33

that she is pregnant. And they're just

1:21:35

like, on the news, they're like, I

1:21:37

don't know, maybe it was the plants,

1:21:40

like a bunch of people said, or like,

1:21:42

maybe it's like red tide and it kills

1:21:44

instead of like fish, it killed us on

1:21:46

land, like a population control thing. But we're

1:21:48

not gonna explain it at all. But because

1:21:51

we don't know, I guess it could

1:21:53

happen anywhere else. Who knows? Cut to

1:21:55

you, frongs! Frongs! Before

1:21:57

you guys finish, I sent you a meme that has to do

1:21:59

with... this movie. Mikey I'm already looking at it.

1:22:02

It's got three hot dogs on it and

1:22:04

a picture of your family and it says

1:22:06

one has to go. That is

1:22:11

definitely that couple from this

1:22:13

movie. The couple who has left

1:22:16

their family behind started a plant nursery and

1:22:18

what I am assuming is the first international

1:22:21

hot dog lobby. Anyway back

1:22:23

to France where

1:22:25

it suddenly happens again and

1:22:28

he just goes mondeau and

1:22:31

that's a movie. So I've seen the

1:22:33

movie and we talked about the movie. What'd

1:22:35

you guys think about the happening? Crash.

1:22:37

Yeah I do think that this

1:22:40

is a Mikey movie on some

1:22:42

level but yes it doesn't it's

1:22:44

not fun. It doesn't feel fun

1:22:46

to watch. I think you should

1:22:48

see it once though because there

1:22:50

are famous people in this movie

1:22:52

doing a terrible job with what

1:22:54

is possibly the worst script that

1:22:57

M. Night's mother put up on

1:22:59

the fridge. Yes. Like that is

1:23:01

what it feels like. It's definitely something

1:23:03

you should experience once. Yeah. You may

1:23:05

like it over and over again. It's

1:23:07

a modern Mikey movie where it's just

1:23:09

dumb. Yeah. I mean I feel actively

1:23:11

dumber for having watched this movie and

1:23:13

I texted you guys as much. You

1:23:16

kept saying your brain was smooth and I thought

1:23:18

that that was a really good explanation for what

1:23:20

it does. The tree farts made my brain

1:23:22

smooth. It turns your brain into like

1:23:24

the outside of a watermelon. Like that's what it does.

1:23:27

Yeah. Say hi to my melon for me. Say

1:23:29

hi to my melon for me. You're a married woman Paige.

1:23:32

Just one of the melons. Just one.

1:23:34

Pick one. Right. Left. Paige

1:23:37

I'm gonna go with the good one. Great.

1:23:39

Because only you know what that one is.

1:23:41

Right. I'm gonna say bye to you. Is

1:23:43

that right as incorrect or right as in

1:23:45

right? Who's to say? Well

1:23:49

Paige give me fun facts you can say yes.

1:23:52

I do. Well yeah it's with your fun

1:23:54

facts. Having fun facts. Mark

1:23:56

Wahlberg has publicly admitted that he regrets

1:23:59

working on this movie but he did

1:24:01

say quote you can't blame me for

1:24:03

wanting to try to play a science teacher

1:24:05

at least I wasn't playing a cop or

1:24:07

a crook that's true I mean

1:24:09

that is unlike him yeah which

1:24:12

I will say this he excels in

1:24:14

those roles I know sometimes you just got to

1:24:16

know your lane marky mark in the departed does

1:24:18

a great job because like I feel like that's

1:24:20

just who he is yeah just like I

1:24:22

am perfectly suited for

1:24:25

your kind of sloppy roommate

1:24:27

that gives decent relationship advice

1:24:29

and gets way more like

1:24:31

action than people expect so

1:24:33

what you're saying is that

1:24:36

you've been season three of

1:24:38

Bridgerton this whole time hell

1:24:40

yeah I'm just call me Penelope I'm

1:24:42

so excited was so good the carriage

1:24:44

scene chefs kiss they play pitbull in

1:24:46

it like how could you not love

1:24:48

it Mikey I can't believe you're not

1:24:50

supporting pitbull in this moment could you not

1:24:52

support the international worldwide man a

1:24:55

mystery yeah they put

1:24:57

pitbull over a Bridgerton sex scene

1:24:59

how are you not on

1:25:02

I've got a catch-up season two board me yeah

1:25:04

I was out for season two they did not

1:25:06

have any of the sex it's way

1:25:08

better than season two but also

1:25:10

pitbull anyway back to fun facts

1:25:12

yeah this movie was shot completely

1:25:15

in sequence I buy that's a weird

1:25:17

thing that people don't do for a reason but I

1:25:19

mean really like there's almost

1:25:21

no like locations in this

1:25:23

there are like locations fields

1:25:25

yeah it feels like you're wearing face a lot

1:25:28

of it is mark you mark face a lot

1:25:30

of close-ups of him being like why the pox

1:25:32

do you think it's the plant the

1:25:35

line that he says the be scientific

1:25:37

douchebag is improvised oh my

1:25:42

god the DVD version also

1:25:44

contained deleted scenes one of a

1:25:46

piano recital capture on cell phone

1:25:48

video which is something that happens

1:25:50

inside so like why the movie

1:25:53

forgets its own rules yeah that's probably why

1:25:55

they cut it honestly yeah they also

1:25:57

had extended more gruesome versions of the

1:25:59

line attack and the kids

1:26:01

being shot on the porch and a

1:26:03

fight between Marky Mark and Zooey Deschanel

1:26:05

where they fight and then make up

1:26:08

but they cut all of that. I mean

1:26:10

there's also zero B-plot in this movie

1:26:12

they refused to cut away from Marky

1:26:14

Mark this entire film and that is

1:26:17

too much of the Marky. It is

1:26:19

weird. Well the B-plot is John Leguizamo

1:26:21

but it ends 20 minutes into the movie.

1:26:23

Yeah when he abandoned his child. Yeah. Unlike

1:26:25

most of the people that worked on this movie Zooey

1:26:28

Deschanel says that it was one of

1:26:30

her favorite production experiences and that she

1:26:32

thinks that people don't know how to

1:26:35

appreciate the concept of quote natural terror

1:26:37

and she thinks that this was inspired

1:26:39

by the birds. Maybe it was but.

1:26:41

Has she never seen the movie and she's

1:26:43

just like thinking about like what it was like

1:26:45

to make it? Yeah. I mean you

1:26:47

could make an argument that movies like

1:26:49

the birds inspired something like this but

1:26:51

like it's possible that she's never seen

1:26:53

this movie and it was just fun on

1:26:56

set. Anyway. Yeah. The 53 minutes in

1:26:59

Marky Mark talks about primordial bacteria

1:27:01

in Australia killing off fishermen. He

1:27:03

does. Yeah and it's

1:27:06

pyrotheans they're neurotoxin derived from

1:27:08

chrysanthemum plants specifically

1:27:10

chrysanthemums native to Australia. It's commonly

1:27:13

found in organic insecticides because it

1:27:15

is highly toxic to bees. So

1:27:17

like maybe to bees. So like

1:27:20

maybe he had the bee answer

1:27:22

the whole time. Anyway.

1:27:24

He was just trying to engage his students

1:27:26

because he's a good teacher or whatever. Maybe.

1:27:29

By like saying that they're really attractive. Yeah. Oh

1:27:31

yeah. That's right. You're too hot to understand

1:27:34

bees. Jesus Christ. Why don't

1:27:36

we talk about the birds and the bees.

1:27:38

And the bees. In June of 2008 before

1:27:41

film reviews for this movie went

1:27:43

live, M. Night Shyamalan gave

1:27:46

an interview to the New York Daily News

1:27:48

where he said quote we're making an excellent

1:27:51

bee movie. That's our goal. And

1:27:53

bee like the letter not like the bees because there's

1:27:55

no bees in this movie. Okay. Well I mean I

1:27:57

guess if that was the goal why didn't they market

1:27:59

it like that? I don't

1:28:01

think it was the goal. I think he had already

1:28:03

seen a cut of the movie at that point. It

1:28:05

was doing damage control Yeah, because it does

1:28:07

sort of play like a bad 50s

1:28:09

B comedy horror movie Yeah, the

1:28:12

tagline for the film was we've

1:28:14

sensed it. We've seen the signs

1:28:16

now. It's happening Wow Referring to

1:28:18

both the sixth sense and signs

1:28:20

and then the happening got a love

1:28:22

a tagline That's like hey remember these other

1:28:24

really great movies This is not one of

1:28:26

them, but please come see it based on

1:28:29

the strength of that Bynes was real good.

1:28:31

It was the character of Alma

1:28:33

was originally written for Amy Adams I

1:28:35

actually I think she would have

1:28:37

did a great job with it and she

1:28:39

nailed it because I think So we should

1:28:41

all do to like quirky and funny, which

1:28:43

I mean like as a compliment I think

1:28:45

she's great in that like comedy lane Yeah,

1:28:48

I don't know that this is her lane and

1:28:50

also it's a trash script So like yes, if

1:28:52

it was a better written movie, Zoey did you

1:28:54

know might have fucking rocked it? You know like

1:28:56

I don't know so within the script

1:28:59

Allegedly according to people who worked with the script

1:29:01

and on the film Alma was supposed

1:29:04

to be the one who gave the feeling of peace and

1:29:06

tranquility So like that's

1:29:08

why they don't have her freaking out

1:29:10

as much But I think it

1:29:12

just reads as her being like a two-dimensional character

1:29:16

with no character traits the

1:29:18

reason that Amy Adams didn't do this movie is They

1:29:21

could not reach an economic agreement

1:29:24

and so she rejected the role Okay,

1:29:27

that's very shocking to me,

1:29:29

but okay. Yep at

1:29:31

the end Jess wears an

1:29:33

avatar than the last airbender

1:29:35

backpack the 2010

1:29:38

live-action version was M. Night Shyamalan's next

1:29:40

film and arguably the worst This

1:29:43

is the shortest film of his career with a running time

1:29:45

of 91 minutes Yes, so

1:29:47

the plot of the film takes inspiration from

1:29:49

a real phenomenon of the trees of the

1:29:51

acacia genus Acacias have a defense

1:29:53

system where each plant is in close

1:29:55

contact with another and if it's approached

1:29:57

by a predator of its foliage The

1:30:00

plants react chemically, releasing substances that

1:30:02

are transferred by air and reach

1:30:04

other plants raising the alarm. Immediately,

1:30:06

the rest of the acacia specimens that are

1:30:09

nearby will begin to secrete a toxic substance

1:30:11

in their leaves that is harmful

1:30:13

in contact and ingestion, and

1:30:16

even deadly for animals. So, I

1:30:18

think that's what they were trying to go for. That's

1:30:20

super interesting, but I don't think blades of grass

1:30:22

do that, right? No, it's just this one type of

1:30:25

plant. Ah, that makes more sense. Yep, this is

1:30:27

implausible. Got it. The science

1:30:29

doesn't check out of what you're saying. No, and

1:30:31

also, according to M. Night Shyamalan, 85% of

1:30:34

the movie takes place outside, which is like the one

1:30:36

place it shouldn't take place. I mean, it

1:30:38

does make sense, though, that we're watching the only

1:30:40

dumb people, and, you know, we're just watching them

1:30:42

die because they're dumb, you know? Right. Now,

1:30:45

that billboard that proclaimed houses for 300k also

1:30:48

has a motto that says, you deserve this

1:30:50

as kind of a tongue-in-cheek thing of like, you didn't

1:30:52

treat the earth right and that's how the trees are

1:30:55

farting you to death. I guess.

1:30:57

I do love that it's trees farting us to

1:30:59

death. Yeah. So,

1:31:01

I'll end on this fun fact. Zooey

1:31:03

Deschanel's character, as we mentioned, is named

1:31:06

Alma. In real life, Mark Wahlberg's mother's

1:31:08

name is Alma, so literally, say hi

1:31:11

to your mother for me. Yeah. And those

1:31:13

are your fun facts. Hell yeah, Paige, thank you for those fun

1:31:15

facts. Let's talk a little bit about box office. So, what do

1:31:17

you think this high school production of

1:31:19

The Happening cost to make in 2008? 36

1:31:24

million dollars. Okay. I'm going to say

1:31:26

worse. I'm going to say that this was an egregious misuse of funds

1:31:28

at 55. Paige,

1:31:30

that would have been an

1:31:32

egregious misuse of funds, especially if you factor

1:31:35

in like, inflation sense then. Yeah. But it

1:31:37

was a 60 million dollar movie, so you

1:31:39

were still under. Oh my god. I fucking

1:31:41

knew it. I was

1:31:44

like, there's no way this didn't

1:31:46

cost so much money. That's the worst. Literally,

1:31:48

if you get all your actors to volunteer, which

1:31:50

would never happen, but like, if you did, just

1:31:52

to talk about the production quality of this movie,

1:31:55

I could have shot this with that camera right

1:31:57

over my shoulder and it would have like, been the

1:31:59

same. same movie for like a

1:32:01

hundred thou, a hundred percent.

1:32:03

Anyway, if you adjust for

1:32:06

inflation, that 60 million would cost today 87.3

1:32:08

million dollars. So

1:32:10

this movie came out, it premiered on June 13th,

1:32:12

2008. It

1:32:14

was number three in the theaters that weekend.

1:32:17

It was beat by The Incredible Hulk, was

1:32:19

number one. Number two was Kung Fu Panda.

1:32:21

Number three was the happening obviously. Number

1:32:23

four was You Don't Mess With

1:32:26

The Zohan. And number five was

1:32:28

Mikey's favorite Indiana Jones, Indiana

1:32:31

Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal

1:32:33

Zone. I know what I saw this

1:32:35

weekend. My dad came

1:32:37

to visit me in Southern California

1:32:40

and we went to go see a movie and

1:32:42

I said let's go see Kung Fu Panda. And

1:32:44

dad was like no, let's go see You Don't

1:32:46

Mess With The Zohan, it's definitely gonna be funnier.

1:32:49

It was not. He took me to

1:32:51

see You Don't Mess With The Zohan and then

1:32:53

I made him take me to Kung Fu Panda

1:32:56

a day or two later as an apology. That

1:32:58

checks out, yeah. Either way, you dodged a bullet

1:33:00

with the happening that was third this week. What

1:33:03

do you think it brought in in its opening

1:33:05

weekend at the box office? 12

1:33:07

million. I'm gonna say

1:33:09

ridicule. It definitely brought in more.

1:33:11

But also 15 million. Yeah,

1:33:14

so it brought in 30.5 million dollars in

1:33:17

its opening weekend. Wow. I

1:33:20

mean I do think M9 Shyamalan

1:33:22

had some hits and this was

1:33:24

before and perhaps was sort of

1:33:26

the nail in the like oh

1:33:29

man, maybe he's not great. Because

1:33:31

right after Sion. He just needs an

1:33:33

editor. He needs somebody to like double check

1:33:35

the work. I think there

1:33:37

are directors who can do great shit and

1:33:39

notes from the studio are important in their

1:33:41

work. I think if

1:33:44

you give them too much creative control it can

1:33:46

be negative. And I think that may be where

1:33:48

he was landing in his career. Because it was

1:33:50

literally six cents unbreakable signs. Three great movies. Then

1:33:53

the village, the lady in the water and the happening.

1:33:56

And I've not seen any of those movies but I've heard

1:33:58

very bad things about all of them. Except for

1:34:00

the happening we just did that obviously but I don't

1:34:02

hate the village the village grew on me

1:34:05

lady in the water was Largely

1:34:08

reviled. Yeah, the only good thing about

1:34:10

that movie is it features the music of silver

1:34:12

tide and I love that band But in its

1:34:14

in its first week it brought in 30 million

1:34:16

like I talked about it did drop quite a

1:34:18

bit in its second week And only brought in

1:34:20

10 million dollars and then three and then one

1:34:22

and then five hundred thousand You know so like

1:34:24

by the time it had been out of months.

1:34:26

It was not bringing in a lot of money

1:34:28

Although it got out. Yeah, I do think that

1:34:30

word got out and it kind of killed this

1:34:32

movie It was in the theaters

1:34:34

for 14 weeks though, although in its last week. It

1:34:36

only brought in 1975

1:34:39

dollar. Oh, it was only in

1:34:41

11 theaters, but that's terrible What

1:34:44

do you think the domestic box office

1:34:46

performance was for the happening? I'm

1:34:48

gonna say it's just shy of its budget and say

1:34:50

49. Okay, I'll go 54 guys It

1:34:55

actually brought in 64 point five million dollars.

1:34:57

So it made just over its budget back

1:34:59

and then went on to make 98.2

1:35:02

million internationally, so it did make

1:35:04

a hundred and sixty two point

1:35:07

seven million dollars worldwide So

1:35:09

this movie I mean that's like a pretty Decent

1:35:12

return on 60 million budget to get

1:35:14

one sixty two point seven out of

1:35:16

it not bad, but it's a bad

1:35:18

movie Yeah, it's so bad. It also

1:35:21

got an additional 22.4

1:35:24

in the domestic DVD and blu-ray market and

1:35:26

these were like the golden years like 2007

1:35:29

like 2009 were like the golden

1:35:32

years of the DVD market man And

1:35:34

it definitely raked in quite a bit of money

1:35:36

in that so it it did make money even

1:35:38

though it was not great But that is your

1:35:40

box office. So Mikey. Do you want

1:35:42

to hit us with your last scary scale?

1:35:44

Yeah, our scary skill listeners scale one to

1:35:46

ten how scary we found the film today

1:35:48

Our one example is Ghostbusters are ten examples,