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BBC24. Most

1:30

of the letters were questions for gardeners question

1:33

time, where the people got confused. They were

1:35

all about hydrangeas. Yeah, well, I mean, Brian,

1:37

can we have some Hollyhocks advice from you?

1:40

Yeah, don't grow them in peaty soil. Thank

1:42

you very much. Now, a lot

1:44

of the people writing in were talking

1:47

about how I keep fit. Because

1:49

Brian has a keep-fit regime, he has a personal

1:51

trainer, a load of kettlebells and a macrobiotic diet.

1:54

But my daily mechanism of fitness is just that

1:56

I'm Brian Blessed for 10 minutes a day. And

1:58

it really keeps the weight off. Oh, there

2:00

we go! In, out, in, out!

2:03

One, two, three, ash!

2:06

Honestly, I do recommend it to everyone. If you wake

2:08

up in the morning and just for the first two

2:10

minutes you behave as Brian Blessed, it really is invigorating.

2:13

Oh, put wings on. Yeah, yeah,

2:15

yeah. Wings, a little hat, the whole

2:17

thing. Now, one of you said your

2:19

favourite episode was the Infinite Monkey's Guide

2:21

to Strawberries, which itself was a compilation

2:23

of other listeners' favourite moments from the

2:25

actual show. So we were also going

2:27

quite meta, favourites within favourites within favourites.

2:30

But let's start today, Brian. Are you

2:32

OK if I bring it up? With

2:34

Spiders? Yeah, Victoria wrote in to say

2:36

she enjoyed my... She

2:38

used the word genuine fear, but I

2:40

think she means acting talent when Spiders

2:43

were released on stage. Oh, and

2:45

Larissa Dubb wasn't the only one

2:47

of you out there who was

2:49

fascinated in their mating habits. So

2:51

here's comedian Claire Hooper asking ecologist

2:54

Mariela Herberstein and Dieter Hockuli how

2:56

exactly it works. What

2:59

works? Well, the mating habits is

3:01

pretty complicated. Can I ask a

3:03

question? And I'm not proud, but somebody has to.

3:06

If a spider has eight legs and eight eyes, how

3:09

many penises does it have? I

3:17

knew it was worth asking! They don't have

3:19

a penis. They have a genital opening. They

3:21

ejaculate the sperm out of the genital opening

3:23

onto a web. And then

3:25

they're ditched, they're little pedipalps. First

3:28

pair of legs into

3:30

the droplet of sperm. They

3:32

take up the sperm into their legs.

3:35

Then they search for a

3:38

female. Then they insert one of

3:40

their little legs into the female

3:42

genital opening. They

3:44

ejaculate again. If

3:47

they're lucky, they get to do it again with the

3:49

other leg. Just

4:00

to check that I got the order

4:02

right, they ejaculate and then they

4:04

find a female. And

4:10

then it's the left leg in and the left leg out. Once

4:14

they shake it all about, little spiderlings everywhere.

4:16

It's absolutely fine. And then after all that,

4:18

they get eaten. So in

4:20

many species he's eaten maybe even after

4:23

the first mating already and after the

4:25

first copulation he's already eaten. Some

4:27

of the families he also breaks off

4:29

bits of his... Bits?

4:32

That get stuck inside the female

4:34

and it prevents other males from

4:37

accessing that. Wow,

4:39

he plugs the hole. Yes.

4:43

And that's what it's called. It's called

4:45

genital plugging. So that is

4:49

the official term. Well done

4:51

Claire. Wow,

5:01

I've got some big ideas to take home now. Do

5:08

you think if the spider waited until

5:10

she'd just eaten he

5:12

might get away with it? Do you know what?

5:15

Like is she eating him because she's hungry or...?

5:19

No, because they're tiny. They're just an

5:21

hors d'oeuvre. Just

5:25

a little snip. So

5:27

they're not substantive. So

5:29

it's not about satiation, not about hunger, although

5:31

hungry females are quite grumpy. I like to

5:34

tell my husband who's just an entree. English

5:39

people very often when they go to Australia are very worried

5:41

about spiders aren't they Brian? They've heard

5:43

all about the funnel-wed spider that's going

5:45

to bite them when they're sitting on

5:47

the loo and all that stuff. But

5:49

actually there are very very very few

5:51

spider deaths and spider injuries and the

5:53

Huntsman spider, which is not particularly dangerous

5:56

in terms of what it is itself

5:58

apart The Huntsman

6:00

Spider very often goes to sleep on

6:02

warm car engines and then

6:05

when people start driving again it wakes

6:07

the Huntsman up, it crawls out and

6:09

at that point people go ahhhhh! And

6:12

that's when they crash their car. So the Huntsman,

6:14

the element of surprise is

6:16

unfortunately the thing that makes it quite a

6:18

dangerous spider. They're harmless

6:21

but terrifying because they're big. Mary

6:24

Foster says her favorite episode was back in 2016 or

6:26

as Brian says 2016 when we celebrated 200 years of

6:28

Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. Which

6:34

by the way I saw, and I think you would like

6:36

this, I saw the most fantastic thing, a

6:39

performer called Salty Brine, his real

6:41

name, he really is Salty Brine,

6:43

did a show all about Mary

6:45

Shelley and Frankenstein using

6:48

the songs of the

6:50

Manchester brilliant band The Smiths from The

6:52

Queen is Dead. Meet The Cemeter Great.

6:54

Some girls are bigger than others. Yeah,

6:57

that's the bride of Frankenstein, she's bigger than

6:59

others. The Light That Never Goes Out, yeah.

7:02

That episode featured the actor and comedian Noel

7:04

Fielding and he told us about some

7:06

of the monsters he's played on telly. But

7:09

he went on to describe a scary

7:11

Frankenstein type model of the singer Joey

7:13

Ramone that he'd made

7:15

from Plastocene. From the Plastocene

7:18

Joey Ramone to evolutionary

7:20

biologist Nick Lane and

7:23

Sir Christopher Fraling. There was

7:25

a bit of Frankenstein, I haven't read it for a long

7:27

time, but they sort of made the

7:29

creature bigger because it was easier because it was

7:31

quite difficult to recreate the body and the organs

7:33

and stuff so they've made like a bigger version.

7:37

He's eight foot tall. Right, eight foot, yeah. But

7:39

you know, I think when Frankenstein describes where he

7:41

gets his bits from, he says, Charamel

7:44

houses, Graveyards and slaughterhouses. Right, so

7:46

there's animals in there. There's bits of animals in

7:48

there as well as humans, which is why he's

7:50

larger than life. And The movies haven't really dealt

7:52

with that. there's bits of animals in there. Well

7:54

That's what I did, I used Plastocene and Themo

7:56

and some modeling clay. And

8:00

of of of the creature with a

8:02

monster in terms of stitching together, load

8:04

different bodies. What would be the medical

8:06

ramifications and plans because I presume you

8:09

basically have the elbow rejecting the wrist

8:11

and then they are a lot on

8:13

a so eighties gonna be because I'm

8:15

thinking of stopping with the research I've

8:17

got to so fast. In

8:21

terms of that just looking at when you sometimes

8:23

do examination of the pure science of what this

8:25

would actually make. So there we go. You have

8:27

a body of a said stitch, don't remember the

8:29

different brain. For into it's you somehow managed

8:31

connect will problems are have a right. To

8:35

trust us for hims my to

8:37

notice. Now for the radio listeners

8:39

out and affected I'm very carefully

8:41

misguided. diagram and everything is gonna

8:43

go over there as a bit.

8:45

The biggest problem is that all

8:47

the bits would be to differing

8:49

degrees dead. And steal

8:52

Some cells will be alive. Some cells will be

8:54

that assuming that you are able to put them

8:56

together. Perfect is all the nerves. You could join

8:58

them off all the blood vessels you could join

9:00

them up. And

9:02

ah yes, you can start the heart

9:04

beating again by electrocuted or something. What

9:06

would go wrong then? The.

9:10

Biggest thing which is probably gonna go wrong is

9:12

exactly the problem with how do you get the

9:14

electricity flowing to answer this is what goes wrong

9:16

when you do and organ transplant days who taken

9:19

taken organ out who put it on ice for

9:21

several days you try and find someone who's got

9:23

the the rice immunological maps so that is not

9:25

going to reject and then youth you put it

9:28

in again and the problem that you have is

9:30

a it usually sales at that point of beauty

9:32

store for more than a day or two on

9:34

ice. This is. Done.

9:37

It all goes wrong and he goes wrong assumes you

9:39

and reintroduce oxygen. And will seems to

9:41

be happening is in effect that these

9:43

the flow of electrons to oxygen just

9:45

screws up in that it will not

9:47

get talks and proper you produce these

9:49

reactive free radicals. they attack the cell

9:51

around it a and it breaks down

9:53

and of cel by south from within.

9:55

Answer prevent that from happening is really

9:57

really difficult. The right to Alan Moore's.

10:00

Guest on the show several times. a

10:02

wonderful writer are based in Northampton. creator

10:04

of Watchmen From How and so much

10:06

more and quite a few if you

10:09

appreciate his his ability to predict real

10:11

signs with he science fiction including someone

10:13

called Super Grover who describes him as

10:15

a sage. Now Allen is a side

10:18

so much so that in the nineteen

10:20

a symbiotic killer he was very much

10:22

seen as a philosopher by people and

10:25

I'm sure have told you this person

10:27

but as beautiful sort of him being

10:29

interviewed and at one point the into

10:31

a now Allen you Hate Children done

10:34

to me so I don't I children.

10:36

And. He said I wondered why they sorta

10:38

to children's and then he remembered an interview

10:41

the he'd done over the phone. And at

10:43

the end of this interview the guide said

10:45

allen, could you give us three philosophies for

10:48

living a good life And he couldn't immediately

10:50

think of free philosophies but he had a

10:52

boxing match in his hand so he just

10:54

turned. The only sybil my three floss was

10:57

having a good life. Ah, keep in a

10:59

dry place, keep a wife and children and

11:01

strike away from the body. Which

11:04

I just think is is absolutely beautiful.

11:06

I love it is a is a

11:08

wonderful rice and I'm in the i

11:10

was so jealous when he told me

11:12

how the buttons jerusalem stuff out are

11:14

not to resume is it's a short

11:16

story in illuminations about the the first

11:18

femtosecond have been of oh yes it

11:20

was the best of times. It

11:23

was the first of times. That.

11:25

Yet. Is the best opening

11:27

possible to obtain a book on

11:29

any signs. So yeah, I've heard

11:31

particularly isn't a Big Bang Special

11:34

A second and case series Allen

11:36

explains Harrys work had been inspired

11:38

by string theory to. Synthesis.

11:40

Braun Green and Jonathan Ross he was

11:43

I know earlier about the science fiction

11:45

and science and held I rely on

11:47

mean with regard to string theory as

11:49

an example of make oh and of

11:52

reading half a book. On. String

11:54

Theory and focusing upon one

11:56

sentence or which is more

11:58

basic method of. Routing almost

12:00

everything and out. or read a

12:03

a couple of books on string

12:05

theory and the sentence. the Court

12:07

Milo was that essentially reality. And.

12:10

The universe. Is created

12:12

by the vote. brightens, Oh

12:15

the strength which are thought

12:17

was lovely because this poetry

12:19

that. I mean that

12:21

makes everything music. So.

12:24

I immediately bang Dell and I

12:26

paid. Comic story about a guy

12:28

with a superstring via when. Neck

12:31

and out. The reality no I don't believe

12:34

that you can actually do that but it

12:36

was a poetic can say based upon the

12:38

up to someone so you would presumably l

12:40

said the laws of physics is he played

12:43

around with the and vibrating strings at a

12:45

different way in ages. I am wrong again

12:47

and again. We

12:51

need you Alan hit and held it for it's

12:53

for everything. He didn't have. I seen farms

12:55

future shop in two seconds. Later

12:58

in the episode out, Jonathan went on

13:00

to discuss the idea and the limitations

13:02

of consciousness or thing that so it's

13:05

as a tool. Is.

13:07

The greatest to that consciousness has

13:09

come up with to help us

13:11

in father mean the cosmos about

13:13

as it's the most perfect. Tool

13:16

But our believe that

13:18

it only. Can.

13:21

And should. Go Sofa!

13:23

Or. Failed. The science is perfect

13:26

for describe in the material universe.

13:29

But. Only Billie is the

13:31

the realm with consciousness. Is.

13:34

Actually, outside the boundaries of so

13:36

in some and you can't repeat.

13:39

Consciousness. In a laboratory, you

13:41

can't measure empirically or know that

13:43

you've since who do not yet.

13:45

Not yet, but you may be able to

13:48

be in a be able to produce a

13:50

conscious competing. For example, in Arizona he doesn't

13:52

think we should is that? Well, I don't

13:54

think we can actually create a conscious computer

13:56

or we might be, I would. So have

13:59

you ever seen. Because we're apply. Henna

14:06

is a joke. missing out. A really liked

14:08

the i'm in the thing that you assign

14:11

about the office a clock oh dear of

14:13

the phone network. Becoming conscious I saw a

14:15

wonderful comic strip. the Other Guy just da

14:17

da se many of these guys for this

14:20

one was really appealing. It had gotten a

14:22

fortress in the middle of a why slammed

14:24

and a go at odds of at the

14:26

gate and by side. who goes there. And

14:30

A says i would like to come into

14:32

your fortress and I say well we can

14:34

only take people who are going to be

14:36

useful Tell us that He said think that

14:38

your phone the I am useful for. I.

14:40

Am. The. Internet and thus I know

14:43

You know. And he says yes I

14:45

am a can prove it. The. My so

14:47

go on than a types of these

14:49

bits of paper and he says i

14:51

bring you. Pornographic. Pictures.

14:54

And. The rantings of hungry children. By

15:00

think about it for a while A nicer

15:02

Whoa. There's one question if you can

15:04

answer it. We. Will accept that

15:06

you are the internet we are

15:08

interested in purchasing. Hot. Water

15:10

bottles shaped like cats. What

15:14

else might we be interested in? S.

15:22

The next class is from the

15:24

first podcast we recorded in lock

15:26

down within audience. remarkable technology. Sooner

15:28

we got latest on twitter say

15:30

mighty, put canned laughter on it

15:32

and he wasn't canned laughter Did

15:34

it? The Bbc engineering departments have

15:36

developed a system. Where was it?

15:38

A hundred attuned to people is

15:40

more. That is why you went

15:42

up to a thousand dollar The

15:44

end of those yeah. Could listening

15:46

on Zoom. Every single member of

15:48

the audience is sitting alone. You

15:51

know in in their front room s and

15:53

yet if you hurt them laugh They were

15:55

all laughing in the same way you would

15:57

he in an audience. And then also Casey

15:59

was his. Like can you got the cat

16:01

so pleased and also be had some lovely

16:03

things cost like the site the to because

16:05

everyone he was against the show was just

16:07

a home as well. Normally they don't bring

16:10

their dogs so it was a lovely thing

16:12

that every now and again you would have

16:14

and astronauts dog barking he has his can

16:16

be decided Tesco introducing yourself at the top

16:18

of the show and and listen to her

16:20

reaction. And. To that of archaeologist

16:22

and ah Sarah Park acts when they

16:24

hear. Everybody out there.

16:27

On. The Zune Clapping. Hi

16:29

my name's Sarah has their i'm a

16:31

Comedian and by assess as what I'd

16:33

like to know about and the haven't

16:35

passed his His idea of it was

16:37

to domesticate ducks says as he decided

16:39

to set of get a wolf and

16:42

make him awfully. And

16:44

you have on the right panel for this because

16:46

alice robot knows the answer. but it's not a

16:48

subject. Re doing that anyway. So this is our

16:50

panel. Oh.

16:58

Ah, That is what wonderful a

17:00

fluid lists that so much that

17:03

son of hundred or not. But

17:07

the real reason we saw him a that show

17:09

is because listener Allen got into It's. Miss.

17:11

Now and since occurrences assessment that is

17:13

called listener Allen this name is a

17:16

name yet listener have no idea as

17:18

was no illusion around and mr listen

17:20

I'll him here in a singing this

17:22

really we need to gonna find a

17:24

listener our he does all the hearing

17:26

around here ss were listener around and

17:28

go into it's to tell his favorite

17:31

moment was the bit from the archaeologists

17:33

talking about scooping out pharaohs brains. actually

17:35

we went back and listen so oaths

17:37

and there's very little of scooping out

17:39

pharaohs brains in it but much not.

17:41

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It's not so

17:43

much what actually was seen. Always great

17:46

to hear. It was what was in

17:48

the mind of the listener. It's kind

17:50

of more about i'm space techniques from

17:52

covering seeks to the eggs and world's

17:55

involving lasers and radios. but they're still

17:57

those who don't believe some the discoveries.

17:59

This. Archaeologists like say or park I

18:01

have made to let her. It's like that. Like

18:04

to be a terrible did I guess because undoubtedly

18:06

someone will ask the question. Come on, tell me

18:08

the truth. Did. Alien so that's

18:11

and then I'll go get some one,

18:13

I'll get someone to get a huge

18:15

sheet of paper and I will spend

18:17

about thirty minutes doing diagram showing the

18:19

eight hundred plus your evolution from tombs

18:21

under the sand or grades and the

18:23

grad and how how the was a

18:25

long slow. Evolution to the construction of

18:27

pyramids. You can actually see it over

18:30

time and it's a relief. Logical

18:32

progression: you have the genius of

18:34

someone like him. Hotel: The. Of

18:36

the architect the Great Pyramid of

18:38

Joseph Sakara. And he he was

18:40

sort of the Steve Jobs as as time

18:42

he was the one that decided ya, instead

18:45

of having stone rectangular in the suburbs, stack

18:47

them one on top of the other and

18:49

see what happens as though the whole gamut

18:51

was once. We definitely have these extraordinary genius.

18:53

Breakthroughs. Like you see throughout human history and

18:55

you see to dead. Now. Listen me some

18:57

music. Listener Jill Us must be

18:59

related to with yeah she's is useless now

19:01

and spread Yeah, it was the jokes said.

19:04

Cf Sigma enjoyed. Nuff said. You may be

19:06

managed to back and twenty eleven or two

19:08

thousand and eleven few. He.

19:10

Was book was to the bees are

19:13

things he says. Remember Fonda? Apparently the

19:15

Bbc going on the twenty levels it

19:17

says he is. So nineteen hundred you

19:19

enjoy one thousand nine hundred ninety. Two.

19:22

Thousand and Eleven. There we showed all

19:24

the old reads reads with two Thousand

19:26

and Eleven, but there was a show

19:28

all about the science of sounds. The

19:30

a comedian Some Wriggles Wilson told acoustic

19:32

expert Trevor Cox about his least favorite

19:35

note. just oh sorry. But when I

19:37

was nine, his age and depends on

19:39

my ninth birthday is completely true. My

19:41

migrant that died right, which was them

19:43

both. A disappointing is it

19:45

was selfish and. I

19:48

thought you read yesterday's In the

19:50

exception of say that again as

19:52

often. As. You can just

19:54

fake comical reaction. When

19:59

I was nine years of age,

20:01

my grandfather passed away on my

20:03

ninth birthday, which was as disappointing

20:05

is it was census. Anyway,

20:11

we went to the funeral and I'm from a

20:13

very emotionally repressed family. I mean it's through Yorkshire

20:15

Subway all of it but could emotionally both. We

20:17

went to the church and I was on and

20:19

on. Nine is I was nine years of age

20:22

and in. The. Funeral. I

20:24

wasn't used to seen the output of emotion

20:27

from all the grieving relatives. it completely dead

20:29

men. It completely floored me emotionally. I wasn't

20:31

on the roads are seen everybody sobbing and

20:34

waiting and hoping it on. never has been

20:36

like it. So I was just in pieces.

20:38

That and then one. No precedent in the

20:40

him. Made

20:48

me cry so hard. That.

20:50

The almost turned inside out. I can't describe

20:52

the rush of emotions when walk like the

20:55

out may. I have to be sent home

20:57

from a pseudo opponent in the first, has

20:59

never to be thrown out with a few.

21:02

Hours South Africa, you know, and then a few

21:04

years later when how at the piano my grandma

21:06

didn't need anymore because he was dead. Messing.

21:10

Around the piano I picked up this

21:12

know and it's a it's called the

21:14

Devil's No Symptoms or did he do

21:16

you really? Just that wasn't enough distance

21:19

that is. Just try Tone. it's Reno

21:21

suppose. It

21:28

does have a very special effect is

21:30

really useful in music for giving an

21:32

effect. I'm is interesting. so we're talking

21:34

about how different cultures of music in

21:36

the way it works. I think that

21:38

for everyone is gonna be spent. On

21:43

on that know we've reached the end of the

21:45

second series of the Infinite Monkeys guide seats thanks

21:48

sending an old your suggestions And if you haven't

21:50

heard the other exogenous mini series that do, go

21:52

and have a listen on Bbc Sounds and of

21:54

course also on Bbc Sounds you can listen to

21:57

the whole versions of all the episodes that we've

21:59

reference. Over the last ten shows,

22:01

we've covered failure, the future, gardening and

22:03

leave even tackle the Gods. All those

22:05

can be found in a flatbed. Failure.

22:08

Future Guarding The Gods. To

22:10

sangria. Cassette. The plants that grow.

22:13

The. See check as be planted plants.

22:15

They will that. Gardening. To

22:17

That's what planning to plan is. And

22:20

God because. God. Scottish?

22:22

What gives the will bt. Well

22:24

we've really changed the way that we do

22:26

the show. Now we the answer to why

22:29

the universe exists Anyway, thanks for listening by

22:31

and says a please combine. Also Seibel say

22:33

that. Jonah.

22:49

Nice again. Allows

22:51

Russell hide here. I used a lump.

22:53

British is pretty proud of it. Henry

22:55

the Ice Queen Victoria Massive fan of

22:58

stand up comedian obviously Bill Hicks, Richard

23:00

Pryor stats become much more challenging. Spry

23:02

and the House of Bbc Radio Four

23:04

Even just to shovel we take heroes

23:06

and villains from history and try to

23:09

work out with a able for genius.

23:11

Do not catch up on Bbc Sounds

23:13

by such evil genius. If you don't

23:15

want to see or hear as destroyed

23:18

states like may decline Joint I'm a

23:20

little. Such listen to evil genius with

23:22

me for some kind of defeats the

23:24

south and have your well to destroyed.

23:33

I can see the crime knee

23:35

high rate led me to couple.

23:40

Has different story according to the

23:42

neo kind to kind of funny

23:44

kind of curiosity from Christmas tree.

23:50

Acorn T is the entertaining

23:53

Acorn.e D for thank you

23:55

day free trial Highlights: Really

24:01

And. Hi!

24:03

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24:06

with swim trunks and something. Because

24:08

I see where the same suit

24:10

for fine dining and kayaking. Total.

24:12

So Paw and I need something

24:14

casual for the roller. Oh, and

24:17

the music festival meetings? Waterside? Really?

24:19

Looks like your worked her to Tampa Bay. Just

24:21

turned into a cup. Of trip through the

24:23

weekend or packing work. Me. Play example

24:26

they were business and leisure blend

24:28

perfectly. Discover modern hotel and easy

24:30

realize at visit Temple Day. Dot

24:32

Com.