You: "What is this?"

Me: "The Last Outpost is a podcast where I chat with people much more interesting than myself."

You: "But what's the theme of this podcast?"

Me: "Well, I think I'm simply taking my mind for a walk (and I sometimes get wonderfully lost)."

You: "Are you, like, an expert."

Me: "What! You're joking aren't you!"

You: "OK, tell me a bit about yourself."

Me: "Well, I'm a writer, curator, lecturer, wanderer. Since 2000, I have written books on designers, photographers and filmmakers. I've also curated exhibitions. Does that sound too much like a sales pitch?"

You: "Yes, a little bit. Are you insecure?"

Me: "I don't think I am? Do you think I am?"

You: "Where do you live?"

Me: "What!? Are you some kind of podcast stalker? OK, I live with my wife, four children, cat, dog, and two fish, in rural Norfolk. It's kinda bleak in the winter, but lovely in the summer. Also, all those things you hear about rural Norfolk are true."

You: "Okay. If I want to subscribe, can I?"

Me: "Yes! You can do that that via iTunes or Spotify. Also, if you want to read my hourly missives from life in the middle of nowhere, please visit: https://twitter.com/Kerrypurcell"

You: "Jeez, back off. You sound desperate."

Me: "I'm not. Honest. Please like me. Also, if you like this podcast, can you buy me a coffee :-) https://ko-fi.com/kerrywilliampurcell"

You: "No."