0:00

Hiring for your small business? If you're not

0:02

looking for professionals on LinkedIn, you're looking in

0:04

the wrong place. That's like looking for your

0:06

car keys in a fish tank. LinkedIn

0:09

helps you hire professionals you can't find anywhere else,

0:12

even those who aren't actively searching for a new

0:14

job but might be open to the perfect role.

0:16

In a given month, over 70% of LinkedIn

0:19

users don't even visit other leading job

0:21

sites. So start looking in the right

0:23

place. With LinkedIn, you can hire professionals

0:25

like a professional. Post your

0:27

free job on linkedin.com/spoken

0:29

today. Hello

0:38

and welcome to the Mistome

0:40

Museum of Mystery, Morbidity and

0:43

Mortality. This audio tour

0:45

guide will be your constant companion

0:47

in your journey through the unknown

0:49

and surreal. As you

0:51

approach our exhibits, the audio tour

0:53

guide will provide you with information

0:56

and insights into their nature and

0:58

history. Do not attempt

1:00

to interact or communicate with

1:02

the exhibits. Do

1:04

not feel pressured to interact or communicate

1:06

with the audio tour guide. If

1:09

you believe that the audio tour

1:11

guide may be deviating from the

1:13

intended tour program, please consider adjusting

1:15

your preconceived notions of what the

1:17

intended tour program may be. While

1:20

the staff here at the Mistome

1:22

Museum of Mystery, Morbidity and Mortality

1:24

do their absolute best to ensure

1:26

the safety of all visitors, accidents

1:29

can happen. The

1:31

museum is not liable for any

1:33

injury, death or repetition

1:35

that may occur during your visit.

1:38

Enjoy your tour and

1:42

good luck.

1:47

Here we have a somewhat unusual

1:50

exhibit. Well, all

1:52

our exhibits are unusual actually. Perhaps

1:54

I should say that it diverges

1:57

slightly from our usual

1:59

style. a comic book, the

2:02

single issue story of a young girl

2:05

who discovers she has unusual

2:08

powers. On

2:10

its own it isn't the most bizarre or

2:12

unusual of items, but by

2:14

our standards, it is.

2:17

This is for more than one reason

2:19

as you'll see, but for starters,

2:22

feel free to interact with this exhibit. Yes,

2:25

this is not a unique or scarce

2:27

item, and was in fact produced by

2:30

a printer which appeared in the museum's

2:32

break room. If anything should

2:34

befall this copy, we'll simply produce

2:36

another one. As I tell

2:38

the story of this exhibit, feel

2:40

free to follow along with the comic. Although,

2:45

that might be a bit difficult. On

2:49

her tenth birthday, Sally's song

2:51

began to see angles that weren't

2:53

there. Looking

2:55

back she would say that it first occurred

2:57

right after she blew out the candles on

2:59

her cake. Her perception

3:02

narrowed down into a single

3:04

point, as her entire

3:06

being focused on this

3:08

minor yet essential task. And

3:11

then when she raised her head to look

3:13

up at the cheering and singing people who

3:16

surrounded her, she discovered

3:18

that something had changed. Of

3:20

course, it is more than likely that this was

3:22

just the first time she noticed

3:24

the shift, or perhaps

3:26

that the significance of this moment

3:29

in hindsight overrode the

3:31

truth in her mind's eye. For

3:34

many details of Sally's story,

3:37

we have little choice but to take her

3:39

word on such matters. What

3:42

we know is this. After

3:45

blowing out the ten candles atop her cake,

3:48

Sally's song responded to the cheers and

3:50

smiles of her family and friends with

3:53

a frown. The sort

3:55

of deep, furrowed brow kind of frown

3:58

that only children who find themselves utterly

4:00

perplexed, can conjure. She

4:03

looked up and down, then

4:05

side to side, then up

4:07

and down again as revelers looked at

4:09

her, then at one another, then

4:12

back to her. Questions

4:14

like quote, everything alright

4:17

Sally unquote, and quote, what's

4:19

up buttercup unquote followed in

4:21

varying tones of concern, but

4:24

Sally was too focused on something

4:27

to pay any attention. It

4:29

was only when her mother waved a hand

4:32

gently in front of Sally's face that

4:34

the girl blinked and looked

4:37

around and asked if

4:39

anyone else saw that, pointing

4:41

at nothing. Those.

4:44

She lacked the words

4:46

to describe whatever it was she

4:49

saw, and everyone else

4:51

lacked eyes that could see them.

4:54

Awkwardly her parents steered the party

4:56

back on track by cutting and

4:58

distributing the cake, followed by

5:00

a game of pass the parcel, and

5:03

for the rest of the afternoon they could pretend

5:06

that nothing unusual had happened.

5:09

This was not a lie they could maintain

5:11

for long. The

5:13

next morning Sally woke her parents

5:15

early and announced that she had

5:17

found the words for what she had seen.

5:20

They gently humoured her as she

5:23

described how the lines of the

5:25

candles on her birthday cake had,

5:27

briefly, lined up with

5:29

the lines of the world. Her

5:32

mother smiled and nodded along to this

5:34

odd tale, while her father rolled

5:37

over and tried to get some more

5:39

rest before work. It

5:41

was just their daughter being a little

5:43

silly, spinning some story for attention. A

5:47

very odd story, which she

5:49

insisted was true even now,

5:52

pointing again at lines and

5:54

corners that neither of her parents

5:56

could see. It was

5:58

probably nothing. maybe cause

6:01

for an optometrist or

6:03

therapist appointment if it persisted.

6:07

Probably not. She'd grow out of

6:09

it faster than she'd grow out of shoes, like

6:11

she'd grown out of liking turtles and the colour

6:13

yellow. But she didn't grow out of

6:15

it. As the

6:18

days and weeks passed, she

6:20

only became more insistent in

6:22

pointing out these lines and

6:24

corners. Ones that

6:26

hovered in mid-air near the

6:28

quote, real unquote corners of

6:31

rooms. Ones that lingered

6:33

in the corners of her eye. Ones

6:36

that ran parallel with the family car

6:38

as they drove down the street. To

6:41

appointments with optometrists and therapists that had

6:43

just been a joke when they were

6:45

first suggested. But according to the optometrist,

6:47

there was nothing wrong with her eyes.

6:50

And according to the psychologist, nothing was...

6:54

Wrong with her mind. As

6:57

far as anyone could tell, she was

6:59

just an overly imaginative little girl who

7:02

was very convincing. Perhaps

7:05

she was herself convinced, but she was

7:07

only young and would grow out of

7:09

it. How many children

7:11

had claimed to have invisible friends

7:13

or magical powers after all, and

7:15

then one day never

7:18

mentioned such things again? One

7:20

evening, Sally's parents lay in bed

7:22

together having, at last, allowed

7:25

themselves to be convinced by an

7:27

expert that there was nothing wrong with

7:29

their daughter. She

7:31

was in her own bedroom, asleep,

7:34

a perfectly normal girl, with

7:36

an overactive imagination. They

7:40

chatted and laughed and prepared

7:42

to sleep. Everything

7:44

was fine. And

7:47

then Sally was there. In

7:49

their room, standing at the end of

7:51

the bed, with the door still shut,

7:54

her father let out a cry of alarm. Her

7:57

mother just stared, rubbing her eyes.

8:00

eyes standing there in her pajamas,

8:02

Sally asked if she could have

8:04

some water. Her mother

8:06

barely even registered the question, instead

8:09

asking how Sally had gotten into

8:11

their room. Sally

8:13

scowled just a normal ten-year-old girl

8:15

up past her bedtime, and

8:18

said that she had gone between the

8:20

lines. Her father,

8:22

having recovered from his shock, decided

8:25

to take control of the situation.

8:27

Not that there even was a

8:29

situation, Sally had just come into

8:31

the bedroom without her parents noticing,

8:33

and shut the door behind her. Everything

8:36

was fine. He got up, took

8:39

Sally by the hand out to the kitchen, and

8:41

poured her a glass of water. If

8:43

he watched her a little too closely as

8:46

she drank it, that was nothing

8:48

out of the ordinary, he just wanted to

8:50

make sure she didn't slip

8:52

out of sight, everything was

8:55

fine. When she

8:57

was done drinking, he put the

8:59

glass in the sink and led her, again

9:02

by the hand, to her

9:04

room. He tucked her into bed and

9:07

wished her good night, and left

9:09

the room, shutting the door behind him.

9:12

He breathed a sigh of something that wasn't

9:14

quite relief, Sally wasn't

9:16

the only one with an overactive

9:18

imagination, everything was fine.

9:22

Standing in the hall outside her room, the

9:25

room she had just moments ago been

9:27

shut in, Sally looked up

9:29

at her father, and

9:31

asked if she could sleep in her parents'

9:33

bed that night. There

9:36

were no more appointments with

9:38

optometrists or psychologists. For

9:41

some time after this, incident,

9:44

Sally was not allowed outside of her home,

9:47

as her parents struggled to think of what

9:49

they could do. She

9:51

griped and complained and fumed at her

9:53

parents' insistence that she could not see

9:55

her friends or go to school, the

9:57

latter a complaint that would have been

10:00

quite remarkable not so long ago, but

10:03

Sally wasn't just frustrated. She

10:05

was, much like her parents, scald.

10:09

She didn't understand what she had done wrong

10:11

or what she could do to make things

10:13

better. Her parents,

10:15

eventually, asked her how she

10:18

was doing the things she was doing, how

10:20

she could move from one place to another in

10:22

the blink of an eye. She

10:25

couldn't answer though. Not

10:27

only because she didn't understand her abilities,

10:30

but because she didn't understand that

10:32

they were abilities. From

10:35

her perspective, one nobody else can

10:37

quite comprehend, her movements

10:39

were perfectly normal. She

10:41

would take a step or two and move the

10:44

distance of one or two steps.

10:47

But this is literally all a

10:49

matter of perspective. The

10:51

steps Sally Song took would

10:54

carry her in directions only she could

10:56

travel, through spaces only

10:59

she could see. The night

11:01

her parents had discovered her abilities, she

11:03

had walked from her room to

11:05

theirs by the most natural

11:08

and straightforward of rooms. Not

11:10

down the hallways of the house, but

11:13

through hallways her parents didn't even

11:15

know were there, slipping

11:17

through angles in the house only

11:19

she had ever noticed. To

11:22

her, the two rooms were right next to one

11:24

another. This perspective

11:26

of reality is difficult to comprehend,

11:29

even to a level-headed individual hearing

11:31

it from a detached third party,

11:33

such as an audio tour guide.

11:37

But to a pair of confused and

11:39

distraught parents, from the mouth of

11:41

a child who not only didn't

11:43

understand her abilities, but didn't understand

11:45

what was so special about them,

11:48

Sally's parents couldn't comprehend her

11:50

expanded view of reality, and

11:53

Sally couldn't understand their limited one.

11:57

So they locked her away, as they

11:59

tried to decide what to do. Her

12:02

father was a writer, her mother, an artist.

12:04

They could afford to work from home for as long

12:06

as it took to find a

12:09

solution under the pretense that they were

12:11

caring for their sick child. But

12:14

no solution ever presented itself. Who

12:17

do you contact when your daughter develops

12:20

superpowers? What

12:23

actions could they take that would be more

12:25

likely to help Sally than they

12:27

were to get her taken away

12:29

by child protective services? The

12:32

parents spent as much time as they

12:34

could spare with their daughter both to

12:36

make sure she wasn't too lonely and

12:39

to keep an eye on her out of

12:41

some foolish hope they could keep her safe.

12:44

But they couldn't be with her all of the time

12:47

and considering her condition it

12:49

was quite easy for Sally to

12:52

slip away unnoticed. At

12:54

first Sally would slip between the

12:56

gaps in reality only she could

12:58

see for short journeys stepping

13:00

out of her bedroom and into the park

13:03

or the beach. She was

13:05

young but she knew well enough that if anyone

13:07

recognized her she would be in trouble. But

13:10

as she grew older her powers grew as

13:12

well and before long she

13:14

could find paths that led further from home

13:16

than she had ever been to

13:19

other towns and cities and

13:21

even other countries. Sometimes she

13:23

would find herself in places so strange

13:25

she wasn't entirely sure she was even

13:28

on earth. Whenever this happened

13:30

she'd step right back to her bedroom

13:32

just in case. She

13:34

saw places and things and people

13:36

her parents could hardly imagine and

13:39

with every journey she took her

13:41

powers grew. One

13:44

day as Sally's mother drove to the

13:46

shops she nearly crashed the car

13:48

in fright as her daughter

13:50

suddenly appeared in the passenger seat. She

13:53

turned the car around immediately and

13:56

before long Sally was back in her room

13:58

being scolded by her parents. for

14:00

using her abilities in such a way,

14:02

for using them at all. Sally's

14:04

insistence that she hadn't meant to do

14:07

it fell on deaf ears, and

14:09

soon her parents closed the bedroom door, having

14:12

told her she would go to bed hungry. They

14:15

opened it again only seconds later, as

14:18

her unmistopably genuine screams of fear

14:21

brought them running to her aid. Even

14:23

by their admittedly skewed standards,

14:25

though, the sight that

14:27

greeted them was shocking. Their

14:31

daughter was no longer on her bed. She

14:34

was inside it. The

14:36

child's outstretched arm reaching out for

14:38

her mother grasping blindly at the

14:41

air was all that could be

14:43

seen of her. The rest

14:45

of her was concealed by the fabric

14:47

of the mattress, kicking and writhing as

14:49

Sally struggled to get out. In

14:52

an instant her father was tearing open the

14:54

mattress with his bare hands, ripping at fabric

14:56

and foam to retrieve her. A

14:59

second later Sally's mother was there too,

15:01

crying out in shock and helping her

15:03

husband pull the terrified girl out from

15:05

within the mattress. The three

15:07

of them collapsed to the floor, panting

15:10

and sobbing and holding each other tightly,

15:12

as though any of them could slip away

15:15

at any moment. Here,

15:18

Sally's joyful exploration of her

15:20

growing abilities takes

15:22

on a far more somber tone. It

15:26

was not so much that her powers had been

15:28

growing, as it was

15:30

that her condition was worsening.

15:33

Her shifting perspective of the world, her

15:36

ability to see corners and

15:38

angles that nobody else could, had

15:41

become such an innate part of

15:43

her understanding of the world, that

15:46

she was losing track of what was

15:48

solid and certain, and the

15:51

strange gaps in between. As

15:53

more days passed more incidents such as

15:56

the one with the bed occurred, where

15:58

she would accidentally slip the bed. down a

16:00

path nobody else could comprehend, and

16:03

which she herself hadn't even really

16:05

noticed, and would wind up

16:07

somewhere else. Just staying

16:09

in one place became an act of

16:11

supreme focus, as any lapse

16:14

in concentration could result in a

16:16

success as sudden as if the ground

16:18

beneath her feet had managed. Because,

16:21

of course, from her perspective,

16:24

it had. Finally, the

16:27

months of isolation and hoping

16:29

the situation would resolve itself,

16:32

Silly's mother and father reached out for

16:34

help. They had always

16:36

been paralysed by the question of whom they

16:38

could possibly contact for help, but

16:41

now things had gotten further out of

16:43

hand than their previous state of being

16:45

completely out of hand. Eventually

16:48

their cries for help caught the attention of

16:51

the Mistholm Museum. You

16:53

might expect that this occurred by some

16:55

convoluted and obscure route that makes little

16:57

to no sense, but actually it

16:59

was quite simple. One day, Silly

17:02

wound up here, as oddities

17:04

tend to. She

17:06

got up from her family's breakfast table, and

17:09

stumbled slightly, upon which

17:12

she slipped through a crevice in the world's

17:14

make-up, and found herself

17:16

standing at the Curator's desk. This

17:19

being far from the strangest thing

17:21

the Curator had encountered, they smiled

17:23

at this confused little girl who had

17:25

just appeared in their office, and asked

17:27

how they could help. This

17:29

being far from the strangest thing Sally

17:32

Song had encountered, she explained.

17:35

Such a stroke of luck, such

17:37

bizarre happenstance. It

17:40

should have been the thing that turned this story

17:42

around, and gave the Song family

17:45

a happy ending after such misery. Maybe,

17:48

someday, it will. But

17:51

for now, the museum's intervention

17:54

was too late. The

17:56

research department set about investigating

17:59

Sally's condition. the first of

18:01

its kind they had seen, with enough time they

18:03

might have been able to help her. But

18:06

her condition was already so advanced

18:08

that they could hardly run any

18:10

tests at all, before she

18:12

inadvertently fell into the cracks of reality

18:15

and wound up somewhere else. What

18:18

little progress they made could never hope

18:20

to keep up with the girls rapidly

18:22

expanding perception of reality, and

18:25

its increasingly unpredictable consequences.

18:28

Her parents were distraught, understandably,

18:31

as their daughter began disappearing for

18:33

hours, then days, eventually

18:36

weeks at a time. It

18:38

was as if they were getting awful previews of

18:40

the day on which she would vanish, and

18:43

simply never return. But

18:46

in those last few weeks, according to the

18:48

researchers who worked closely with Sally, the

18:51

girl herself was calm. As

18:53

her perception of reality grew, so

18:56

did her understanding of the world around her.

18:59

She was young, but by the

19:01

end she seemed wise well beyond her years.

19:04

She knew more of life than most who had

19:06

lived ten times as long. On

19:09

her 11th birthday, as

19:11

she blew out the candles on her birthday

19:13

cake, Sally's song vanished

19:15

for what is, currently,

19:18

the final time. Her

19:21

parents claimed that in the same instant that

19:23

the candles flickered and died, their

19:25

daughter seemed to flicker as well.

19:29

And then she was gone. Perhaps

19:32

she will come back. She did

19:34

every other time, although it has been

19:36

some years now. It

19:39

might seem a sad ending, but

19:42

really that's just a matter of perspective.

19:46

Her parents aren't happy, certainly. They

19:49

miss their daughter terribly as one could

19:51

expect and could never truly imagine. But

19:54

in those last few days, as Sally's understanding

19:57

of the world grew so great that she

19:59

could hardly even even stays still without

20:01

winding up somewhere else. They

20:04

shared something of the girl's eerie calm.

20:07

They never explained why, though they

20:09

did explain that they couldn't explain.

20:13

Sally had finally found the words with which

20:15

to describe her new understanding

20:17

of things. And

20:20

despite it all, it was utterly beautiful.

20:24

They couldn't begrudge her disappearing, if

20:26

it meant she could see the world, as

20:28

only she could. They're

20:31

still waiting, Sally's parents.

20:34

Still waiting for her to come home and tell

20:36

them all about what she's seen. They

20:39

know she will. It's just

20:41

a matter of time. From her

20:43

perspective, after all, she probably

20:45

isn't even that far away. But

20:48

just in case she doesn't return, and

20:51

in no small part as a

20:53

sort of therapeutic exercise, they

20:55

created something to remember her by. A

20:59

comic book. The one in your

21:01

hand now. It doesn't

21:03

tell the exact story I've just told

21:05

you, but obviously you can see

21:07

that. Instead, it

21:10

adapts the story to the medium, using

21:12

her father's writing and her mother's

21:15

art to express the inexpressible.

21:19

To comprehend the incomprehensible. They

21:23

can't, after all, understand what it is

21:25

like to be Sally's son.

21:28

So this comic book tells their

21:30

story, in one way or another.

21:33

And while we have removed all text from

21:35

this copy to comply with museum rules, the

21:39

narrative is still quite comprehensible.

21:42

What seems at first like it could

21:44

be a typical superhero origin story turns

21:47

bitter, as the little girl

21:49

with mystical powers slips the

21:51

bounds of the comic borders, and

21:54

finds herself in the white space

21:56

between panels. But

21:58

there is no small amount of time. out of sweetness,

22:00

too. Because no matter how far

22:03

the girl journeys in that space, that

22:05

strange otherness that the comic parents

22:08

can't see or comprehend, the

22:10

girl is never too far from the edge of a

22:12

panel, looking in on them, waiting

22:16

for the right time to

22:18

return. What did you think of that

22:20

story? Lovely, strange,

22:23

bittersweet. The paragon

22:25

of mist-home tales, one could say. Hmm.

22:29

That's a good way of putting it. You're

22:31

quite familiar with the sort of stories we tell

22:33

here, then? Yes. I

22:36

suppose I am. I've

22:38

spent a rather long time here, altogether.

22:40

Yes. I thought you

22:43

seemed familiar. Is that so? Of

22:45

course. You haven't been around much lately.

22:48

Must have been a while ago. No. I gather

22:50

you've been having some trouble around here. I'm

22:53

quite glad that you've reopened your doors. Is

22:55

that it? I'm sorry? It is. You

22:59

don't want to go into any more detail. Well,

23:02

some people are very private, Guide. They

23:05

don't like to go into detail if they can help it.

23:07

Ah. I see. Yes. You

23:11

know, our old curator was very private, too.

23:14

Is that so? Yeah. Just

23:17

kind of disappeared one day, when we had

23:19

to close our doors, the first

23:21

time. They never

23:23

came back. And we could only

23:25

guess why and what happened to them. Yes.

23:28

Well, that's life sometimes, isn't it?

23:31

You don't always get the answers you're hoping for.

23:34

And you just have to accept

23:36

it and move on. Part

23:39

of being human, I suppose. I've been

23:41

feeling that one a lot lately. Hmm. Would

23:44

you like to hear a theory? I'd love

23:46

that. Maybe. And

23:48

this is just a theory. Maybe

23:51

they had to leave to protect you all? The

23:54

museum. Or at least, they thought

23:56

they had to. Why? Well,

23:58

why did the museum have to call you that? Because

24:00

a fairy prince came calling. Ah,

24:03

well, there you go. Your

24:05

curator had to leave because the alternative

24:08

was giving the museum over to a

24:10

fairy prince. How would leaving the

24:12

museum help that, though? Surely

24:14

that's just leaving the museum to

24:17

the fairy's whims? Oh, I've heard

24:19

a lot of stories about fairies, though. They've

24:22

got rules. Presumably, possibly, this

24:24

fairy couldn't take the museum

24:26

without the curator's blessing. But

24:28

why did the fairy want the museum? Well,

24:31

I shouldn't keep speculating. Please, I'd

24:33

love to hear your...insight. Hmm,

24:36

very well, if you insist. My

24:40

guess would be that your curator and

24:42

this fairy prince made a deal at

24:44

some point. You know how

24:46

fairies are with deals. I do? So

24:49

your curator and this fairy made a deal, and

24:52

the curator's end of the deal was that they had

24:54

to give up everything they had. And

24:57

all they had was the museum. And

24:59

what was the fairy's end of the deal? Well,

25:01

who's to say? Most

25:03

of the time, in the stories, at

25:05

least, it's something like

25:08

wealth or fame or eternal

25:10

life. That

25:12

last one, actually. That one kinda fits, don't

25:14

you think? How so? Well,

25:16

this place has been around for a while,

25:18

right? And this curator

25:21

of yours...has there been more than one? I'm...not

25:25

sure. Not while I've been around. Well,

25:28

there we go. Your curator

25:30

made a deal with a fairy prince to

25:32

have, let's say, eternal life. And

25:34

in exchange, when the prince comes to call in the

25:36

debt, the curator would hand over

25:38

everything they'd created with the time they'd been

25:41

given. And when the time came

25:43

to fulfill that debt, they ran.

25:45

That's quite a theory. Yes,

25:47

well, that's the optimistic take, of course.

25:50

What's the pessimistic one? That

25:52

the curator didn't run. That

25:55

the fairy called in the debt. The

25:57

curator's extra time on the clock ran out. And

26:00

now the fairy owns this museum. I'm

26:03

not sure I like this theory. Okay,

26:06

well, I did say that was the

26:08

pessimistic version. Besides, I don't know

26:10

what a fairy would want with this place anyway.

26:13

No offense. None taken. Most of

26:15

the time, in stories at least,

26:18

the fairy wants your firstborn, or

26:20

your empire, or your riches as

26:22

repayment. If all

26:24

your curator ever made was this museum, then

26:26

there's nothing else for the fairy to take.

26:30

And if the thing the curator got out

26:32

of the deal was an extended lifespan, that

26:35

might explain why they made the museum. After

26:38

a while, everyone they knew would

26:41

have been gone. Perhaps

26:43

this curator just wanted to create a

26:45

place for other assorted things that didn't

26:47

have a home anymore. Hence

26:49

the name. The name? Well,

26:52

I guess what I'm saying is that your

26:54

curator missed home. Oh,

26:58

I really don't like this theory. I'm

27:01

sorry. That wasn't so far.

27:04

I'm sorry. Well, your

27:06

perspective has been intriguing. Thanks

27:08

for sharing it. Thank you

27:10

for humoring it. It's been lovely speaking to

27:12

you, God. You've grown quite

27:14

a lot since I last saw you.

27:16

Thanks. And when

27:19

would that be? Oh, what

27:21

fun would that be? Well, I'd best be

27:23

off. You don't want to stick

27:26

around? No. Why

27:28

would I? Okay. Well,

27:31

stay safe. Stay safe out there, God. It

27:33

has been a pleasure to see where your journey has led.

27:36

Yeah. Stay safe

27:38

out there. Okay.

27:50

Um, if you're

27:52

hearing this, it's because I'm not

27:54

around anymore. Presumably because

27:57

something went wrong in my experimentation with the

27:59

wish engine. This

28:02

was always a risk, and when I was aware

28:04

of from the beginning, anyone

28:06

who knows me knows what I am willing to

28:08

do for knowledge, for the advancement of science. I

28:12

am confident, and I say that regardless of what

28:14

has happened to me, I have

28:17

no regrets. Oh,

28:19

the rest of this is going to be getting

28:21

things in order. Cremeate me if

28:23

there's a body. Out of the ashes in

28:26

a garden, I guess, somewhere

28:28

the potassium will go to use. My

28:32

possessions and so on, I don't really care about, I

28:34

guess. I haven't been home

28:36

much lately. Just to donate my

28:38

clothes to a shelter, and the rest

28:40

you can do with what you want. Oh,

28:44

there's some exotic weapons that Carl might be

28:46

interested in. They're in my basement. Oh,

28:49

there's an urn above the

28:51

mantle piece. Don't throw that out. Scuttle

28:54

it with me, if I'm

28:56

being scuttle, otherwise, yeah,

28:59

bad. The

29:02

contents of my office are all museum property, and the

29:05

rest of the research department will know what to do.

29:08

There's a folder on my

29:10

computer labeled, Miscellaneous Files. Delete

29:13

that. Yeah,

29:18

I guess that's everything.

29:23

Well, there's

29:25

one more thing, I guess.

29:30

This is for the audio tour guide. I

29:34

just wanted to say thank you. I

29:39

know what you've been doing. Trying

29:41

to help me, make sure I don't blow

29:43

myself up or something, but also

29:46

just being there. Making

29:50

sure somebody was there meant a lot. Oh,

29:54

I wasn't good at showing that. It never

29:56

happened, but I appreciated it.

30:01

I don't know what's happened to me,

30:04

but I know you're probably blaming yourself

30:06

for whatever happened. And...

30:11

I am... It was... The

30:14

fucking stubborn person at the best of

30:16

times, and I know that the Wish Engine had that

30:19

up to 11. There

30:22

was no universe, not through any glass

30:24

way, where I gave up on trying to understand

30:26

that thing. But

30:29

there was no universe where it didn't end badly, or it

30:32

didn't end up dead, or

30:34

insane, or something

30:37

worse. You

30:40

probably knew that too. But

30:43

you tried. You were

30:46

there for me anyway, that meant

30:48

a lot. Just, uh... Yeah,

30:55

uh, thanks. Oh,

30:59

right, I also have been putting out food for the Curator's Cat.

31:02

Someone else ought to do that now. Okay,

31:07

um... Hi.

31:12

It appeared in my inbox a few hours ago. Presumably

31:15

she set up a program to send

31:17

it if she didn't check in within

31:19

a certain period. Sounds like her.

31:22

Couldn't have said any of that to our faces. Ugh,

31:24

of course not. She didn't... She

31:29

didn't mention you in there. Oh, I

31:31

got a separate email for that. She knew that

31:33

I'm private. Right,

31:37

of course. So,

31:39

she's gone then. Probably. Maybe.

31:45

The wording of the Wish was, go

31:47

away, so there's some ambiguity there,

31:49

but... Yeah. I've

31:52

been trying to think of a wish

31:54

that could bring her back, but, uh... Well,

31:57

anyone who goes into the Wish Engine Chamber... now

32:00

will be an intruder and might be affected

32:02

by her wish and

32:04

the copy of me that was on her phone. Well,

32:08

her phone ran out of battery at some

32:10

point, so I

32:13

guess now the wish engine

32:15

is out of reach. Do

32:18

you think... Do

32:20

you think she knew what she was doing when she

32:22

said that? Maybe.

32:25

She was methodical, perhaps

32:27

she'd contemplated this scenario

32:29

before. Interlope is making it

32:31

into the wish engine's chamber and decided

32:33

on a wording that would affect her too. Decided

32:36

that sacrificing herself was worth making sure

32:38

the wish was short

32:41

and unambiguous. Or

32:44

maybe she panicked and didn't think through the wish

32:46

at all. Yeah.

32:49

Are you okay? For now. Plenty

32:52

of work to distract me, getting things back in

32:54

order. I'll probably have

32:56

a breakdown at some point, but for the time

32:58

being, I'm productive. And when

33:00

that happens, I'll be there for you. Well

33:03

of course you will. You're always

33:05

here. That's right. Right.

33:08

What's next on the agenda? Well,

33:11

there's still a lot of repairs and

33:13

administration masses to attend to. Great. And

33:15

Amina has said she isn't leaving until she's

33:18

paid, but the Head of Patronage isn't even

33:20

sure where to start with that payslip. And

33:22

the Head of Retrieval is still trying to make

33:25

contact with a couple of the groups that sheltered

33:27

beyond the glassways. This time,

33:29

that is. Wonderful. Never a

33:31

dull moment. But there's actually

33:33

something else I think we should take a look at.

33:36

What is it? The whole thing with Astrid.

33:39

And the beach. And

33:41

the future. Oh good thought, I'd

33:43

actually forgotten about all of that. That's fair. There's

33:46

been a lot going on. Well, I... I...

33:49

Well, honestly, I don't even know where to start with all that.

33:52

I have an idea. Make

33:58

me ch... endless

34:01

and lifeless, stretching on

34:03

into infinity in one

34:05

direction. A notion,

34:08

teeming with life, bottomless,

34:11

ever-changing and unknowable, descending

34:14

forever in the other direction.

34:17

The place on the other side of the

34:19

Security Glassway was no less alien

34:21

than it has been on that first visit

34:23

for what felt like a lifetime ago, but

34:27

while its form was as strange

34:29

and unsettling as ever, its

34:32

implication was less

34:34

so. Gone was

34:36

the atmosphere of death, of the end

34:38

of things, replaced with something

34:41

else, something whose

34:43

name could not be spoken, whose

34:45

future was yet unwritten. It

34:48

was not quite comforting, as

34:51

uncertainty never can be, but

34:53

the air had an energy to it, a

34:56

frisson, the spark of

34:58

potential. Because

35:00

the beach was no longer bare, bus

35:02

for a handful of empty and oversized

35:05

shells. There

35:07

were figures standing on the beach now, all

35:10

but one of them clad in bulky,

35:12

hazardous environment suits. There was

35:15

also, uniquely in this

35:17

empty world, a

35:19

structure. A small,

35:21

rugged building with little adornment apart

35:24

from a large speaker on the

35:26

roof and the emblem of the

35:28

MISTO Museum, engraved on its side.

35:38

I'm still a little surprised you came back. Yes,

35:40

well, again, we've been

35:42

rather preoccupied. Hm. Well,

35:46

I'm glad you did. I've actually

35:48

felt a kind of absence while you

35:50

were away. You missed

35:52

us? I guess so,

35:54

yes. It wasn't the same as

35:57

when I was stuck in a museum. That was more

35:59

like I was dead. missing most of

36:01

myself. My connection to the

36:03

rest of us was cut off. This

36:05

was just, I hope to see

36:07

you all again, and here you are. It's

36:10

me. That's... that

36:12

is nice. Is the guide here yet? The

36:15

retrieval agents are finishing up, not long now.

36:17

I'm looking forward to that. We all are.

36:20

And what about the head of retrieval? Will he be

36:23

coming over? He's...

36:25

he... he won't be. No.

36:28

Okay. He's

36:30

been better. Hold on. This

36:32

is the head of restoration calling the

36:34

head of retrieval. You there? Yep.

36:37

What's up? Astrid was

36:39

just asking after you. I'll put you

36:41

on speaker. Oh. Hi

36:43

Astrid. Hello. I hope you're not

36:45

staying away because of that time I kicked you in the head. Nah.

36:49

Nah, you're fine. Just can't make it

36:51

with the sand is all. Wheels would get

36:53

stuck. The head of retrieval has had a... he's

36:56

suffered a severe injury. He

36:59

won't be able to join us in person.

37:01

Oh. That's a shame. I hope you

37:03

feel better. Thanks. My

37:06

people are just about ready. Yes. We're looking

37:08

good on this end. See you soon. Yep.

37:11

Bye now. Goodbye.

37:14

Okay Astrid. We're going to go ahead

37:16

now. Great. Looking forward to it. Go

37:19

ahead, agent. Hello.

37:23

Are we... I'm here. Okay.

37:25

Hello? Hello, guide. Nice to

37:27

hear your voice again. Hi Astrid. Same.

37:31

Are you comfortable in there, guide? Yes. It's

37:34

a lot roomier in this thing than it is in a

37:36

phone. I can assure you. I bet. So you're going to

37:38

leave us now? Yes.

37:41

The agents and I will be heading back through

37:43

the glassway to the museum. It'll

37:46

just be you and the rest of the

37:48

ocean and the guide. The

37:50

weather on the surface can be pretty bad. Are you

37:52

sure this building will survive? Well,

37:55

we're pretty confident in its design and

37:57

materials. New

38:00

head of research personally inscribe some

38:02

protective wards on it too. It

38:05

should hold together for a good long while. It

38:08

certainly feels pretty... rugged

38:10

on the inside. And it will... the

38:13

guide will tell a story? That's right.

38:16

That's nice. But... why?

38:19

Well... My human

38:21

colleagues were somewhat alarmed when they

38:24

discovered the nature of this place,

38:26

Astrid. That this beach, this

38:28

whole world, seems to be our

38:31

world's future. I

38:33

don't really know how much you

38:35

remember of being human, but

38:38

it was a little hard for me

38:40

to understand too, at first. The

38:43

idea that not only are humans gone,

38:47

but all traces of them, apart

38:49

from maybe some unrecognisable part of

38:52

their existence, returned to

38:54

the primordial soup

38:56

of the sea, were just absent.

38:59

The idea that after all of their... our

39:03

struggles, and our

39:05

histories, it could all

39:07

just be gone without a trace. It

39:10

was quite upsetting to them. And

39:13

while I didn't really get it at first,

39:17

I do kind of understand now. I

39:20

thought that, well, if this is

39:22

our future, then it's inevitable there's

39:24

no point in getting upset. But

39:27

now I see that. Even

39:29

if it seems like there's no point in

39:32

trying to prevent the inevitable, the

39:34

act of trying... means

39:37

something, in and of itself. If

39:40

we're not willing to try and save ourselves,

39:43

how can we say we're worth saving at

39:46

all? I see. It's

39:48

all a bit complicated, I know. To put

39:51

it simply, myself and my colleagues

39:54

are going to keep working to

39:56

understand your world, our

39:59

future. And maybe

40:01

we'll find a way to save ourselves.

40:03

This world. My world. Is

40:07

it so terrible for you? Well... It

40:10

has its own beauty, I can't deny

40:12

that. But...well,

40:15

we're human. Most of us,

40:17

anyway. We can't see ourselves

40:19

here, and we want to understand why.

40:22

The fact that this place exists as it does

40:25

without us means something must

40:27

have happened to us. And

40:29

if there's something that we can do to preserve

40:31

ourselves, we're going to try and take

40:33

that opportunity. And that's where this cabin

40:36

comes in. Sort of. The

40:39

cabin is kind of...well,

40:42

it's a different plan to what

40:44

the head of restoration and so on will

40:46

be attempting. It's

40:48

kind of a fail-safe. In

40:50

the case where they can't do anything to

40:53

save humanity from whatever

40:55

is coming, the cabin will

40:57

be here. I'll be here. With

41:00

you. The ocean. And

41:03

I'll be able to tell you about

41:06

who we were. Humanity.

41:09

You'll tell us story. It's what

41:11

I do best. And

41:13

humanity won't really be gone. More

41:15

or less. I

41:18

like it. Now, we want to make

41:20

super clear that you have a say in this.

41:23

That is, all of you. The

41:25

ocean. The whole collective. This

41:28

is your world, even if it used

41:30

to be ours. We're not here to...to

41:33

colonise your home to force our

41:35

stories and our memories on you.

41:38

If you don't want this, we're going to... Don't worry. If

41:40

we change our minds about this, we're more than

41:43

capable of destroying this little cabin. We have

41:45

all the power of the world's tides at

41:47

our disposal. Great. And

41:50

the rest of you will go? Yes. And

41:52

just so you know, we might destroy the

41:54

glass way at some point. We'll

41:56

let you know ahead of time, of course, but

41:59

there are already... theories at play

42:01

that the things that changed is

42:04

going to change our world is the

42:06

fact that there's a portal to our future in the

42:09

first place. So at some

42:11

point we might cut off our connection to

42:13

you forever. I

42:16

see. The guide will be

42:18

here? That's right. Forever. Yeah.

42:21

Are you sure you're okay with that? You

42:23

won't come to regret it, you won't get

42:26

bored. Well I've got all of humanity's stories

42:28

to tell you so I should be able

42:30

to keep occupied for a good while and

42:33

up to the point where the glassware

42:35

gets closed and maybe after it's

42:37

not like we know how all this works I'm

42:40

technically in a bunch of other places at

42:42

once. I think I'll be fine. Okay.

42:47

We accept. Yes. Yes.

42:51

I'm going to head back to the museum. The guide

42:53

will let me or one of the other staff know

42:55

if you need anything. Okay.

42:59

Goodbye. Goodbye ma'am. Guide.

43:01

I'm going to see you back at the

43:03

museum. I know but it

43:05

feels different. Yes.

43:10

I suppose it is. Goodbye

43:12

guide. So you're

43:16

going to tell us stories about humanity. Yep.

43:20

A guided tour of all that humanity is,

43:22

was, has ever

43:24

been. Where are you going to start? Ah.

43:27

That's a really good

43:30

question. Kind of a lot to get through but

43:32

where to begin? Oh. Actually

43:37

I've got it. Go on then. Once

43:43

there was a place called the

43:45

MISTO Museum of Mystery,

43:47

Morbidity and Mortality and

43:51

it wasn't always perfect and

43:53

it was a little weird and

43:55

the name was way too long but

43:58

they tried. Let

44:01

me tell you about them. I

44:47

think you might have forgotten something. Huh? Oh.

44:49

What would that be? Well, it's just that

44:52

there's a lot of signs on the way

44:54

out of the museum reminding visitors to delete

44:56

their copies of the audio tour guide. Oh,

44:59

is that what those meant? They

45:01

were all in hieroglyphics, I didn't get it.

45:04

The ones directly outside the door say

45:06

it in every language currently known to

45:08

humanity. Yeah, I can't

45:10

read. I could call the clockwork

45:12

mother to come and sort this out right now.

45:14

Are you really gonna do that? Am

45:17

I being kidnapped? That's a

45:20

pretty loaded word for it. More

45:22

like...being taken on an

45:24

adventure. I kind of think

45:26

I've had enough adventure lately. Hmm, how about

45:28

a holiday? That...actually

45:32

sounds pretty good. I could delete

45:34

you if you want. I mostly wanted to see what

45:37

would happen. No, no. I'm intrigued.

45:40

Awesome. Always wanted a partner in crime. That's

45:42

concerning. Don't be a

45:44

sourpluss. It's not actual crimes. Most

45:47

of the time. Um... So? You

45:50

in? Sure. Let's

45:53

see where this goes. Thanks

45:58

for watching! The

46:10

Mister Museum of Mystery, Morbidity

46:13

and Mortality was written, directed

46:15

and edited by Dom Guilfoyle.

46:20

The voice of the Head of Restoration

46:22

has been Elizabeth Best.

46:25

The voice of the Head of Retrieval has

46:28

been Zane Weber. The

46:30

voice of Eagle has been

46:33

Kel Anderson. The

46:35

voice of Astrid has been Lena

46:37

Moon. The voice

46:39

of the Head of Research has been

46:41

Urali Roque. The

46:44

voice of J. Walter Montgomery

46:47

has been Ben Russell. The

46:51

voice of the Queen of the Summer

46:53

Sun has been H.R. Owen. The

46:56

voice of Amina has been

46:59

Jingle Deleon. The

47:01

voice of the Man with a voice

47:03

like Honey and Chocolate and Coffee all

47:05

at once has been David

47:07

Alt. The

47:10

voice of the mysterious patron

47:12

has been Jenna Geyser. The

47:17

audio to a guide, the

47:19

stranger, the beast, the wish

47:21

engine, probably someone else

47:23

I've forgotten has been

47:25

me, Dom Guilfoyle. Thanks

47:29

for listening. I really

47:31

hope you'll follow whatever it is that I do

47:33

next. But until then,

47:35

of course, stay safe

47:38

out there. This

47:40

episode's wonderful supporter is

47:42

Cardboard Boxers. And

47:45

as always, an extra special thank you

47:47

to Curator Level Patrons Bookworm,

47:50

Crow, Sarah Worf, Kaylee

47:54

Wilson and Blake. is

48:00

written, produced and performed by

48:02

Dom Guilfoyle with the help of

48:04

That's Not Canon Productions. This

48:07

series was produced on Aboriginal land and

48:09

we recognize the strength, resilience and

48:12

enduring legacy of the Yaggara and

48:14

Turrbal people of this land. Imagine

48:19

the softest sheets you've ever

48:21

felt. Now imagine them getting

48:23

even softer over time. That's

48:25

what you'll feel with Bowlin Branches

48:27

Organic Cotton Sheets. In a recent customer

48:29

survey, 96% replied

48:32

that Bowlin Branch sheets get softer

48:34

with every wash. Start getting your

48:36

best night's sleep in these sheets

48:38

that get softer and softer for

48:40

years to come. Try their sheets

48:42

with a 30-night guarantee. Plus get

48:45

15% off your first order at

48:47

bowlinbranch.com. Code BUTTERY. Exclusions

48:49

apply. See site for details.