0:13

This is The Moth Radio Hour from PRX.

0:15

I'm

0:16

Catherine Burns. And on Today, Show will

0:18

go on a road trip with dads.

0:22

We'll start out in a small town, in rural Tennessee. then

0:25

move on A Whole Foods Market in Milwaukee, will

0:28

visit? gone up by way of india in

0:30

atlanta georgia touch base with a mormon

0:32

bishop in idaho and into for basketball

0:34

court philadelphia outbursts

0:39

david kendall he told story

0:41

is an open mic [unk] competition because

0:43

used to new orleans with our friends at

0:45

w

0:51

the first time i fell in love it

0:53

wasn't with girl it

0:55

wasn't with a person i

0:57

was eight years old and i lived in my

0:59

home town of cottage grove tennessee

1:02

was a tiny little dot up in northwest

1:04

corner northwest state there

1:06

were hundred and ten people that lived in cottage

1:08

grove there was

1:10

one store there

1:12

was a post office there was a gas station

1:14

there was it's ah one school

1:17

there , four churches and

1:21

that's the kind of place it was then

1:24

realized early on

1:26

i don't want live here the rest of allies

1:31

i , fit in and

1:33

wondered

1:35

there other people that feel like i did well

1:38

as it turns out there were other people never

1:43

asked one of those

1:45

people i'm pretty sure was my father ralph

1:48

kindle then

1:50

i realize this when i remembered i

1:52

used sit front of the stereo at night

1:55

they do is record collection play

1:58

music the dragon falstaff

2:00

beer smoke and cool cigarettes

2:04

and would sing along and

2:06

he would laugh sometimes

2:08

a cry if was hank williams

2:14

it's realized at that point

2:16

i don't think other daddy's and cottage grove

2:18

tennessee do this

2:25

as soon as got old enough started

2:28

listening to music with him because

2:31

i love sounds and also because i desperately

2:34

wanted some way connect with is very

2:37

hard to know man

2:40

and threw him up first heard hank

2:42

williams johnny cash bob wilson

2:44

the texas playboys jim reeves all

2:47

classic country artists that would learn

2:50

to appreciate the older i got

2:54

the not i remember the most and

2:56

the neither changed my life was

2:58

the night that he went into the closet and

3:00

he brought out a box of all

3:02

seventy eight and started

3:04

rummaging through them and

3:07

he pulled one out and he said forgotten

3:10

the had this i

3:12

never listen to very much he

3:15

said then got feeling

3:17

that you're like assholes the

3:20

economy halls after whole score right on bonanza

3:25

he took record out of the sleeve the put

3:28

it the turntable he put the needle

3:30

on it the here's and

3:32

crackle in a pop the

3:35

all viable gave way to this glorious

3:38

raucous epic opening

3:41

salvo car wreck

3:43

guitar riff of chuck berry's maybelline

3:46

the most killer

3:48

lyrics

3:49

that will the motivate know what he'll us

3:51

all maybelline and coupe deville cadillac

3:53

roller no no role not now run

3:55

my be a phone wow

3:58

i never heard anything like this in my

4:00

life

4:01

and if a kid raised in southern baptists tradition

4:04

i was pretty sure what supposed to like it but

4:09

, sure did like it and

4:12

when the song ended he reached to take it off

4:14

the record player a daddy not have no

4:16

no play it again play again please please

4:18

please please

4:21

have figured you like their house they

4:23

are play it again played it again

4:26

the played it again and again and

4:28

again and i don't know how many times

4:30

i made him play that but i know he played

4:33

it until my mama walked in room

4:36

and she looked at him at certain way

4:38

and he saw play in damn y'all

4:41

know what i'm talking about

4:44

well it wouldn't too long after that allow get my first

4:46

guitar and will try to recreate

4:49

of sales a heard on that record it

4:51

was really hard and

4:54

didn't think was very good

4:56

it came to musical talent added not consider

4:59

myself gifted and

5:01

it would take me twenty long years to escape

5:04

the clutches of cottage grove tennessee the

5:07

when i finally left i headed for music city

5:10

want to austin texas

5:13

it was labour day of nineteen

5:16

eighty nine

5:17

had my car packed was ready to go

5:20

and was standing on front porch my parents'

5:22

house about to say goodbye my

5:26

dad said i

5:28

know house i got from

5:30

for you the walked back

5:32

in the house became outside

5:35

the said i know how much you love this about

5:37

him i want it and he handed me that seventy

5:40

eight of chuck berry's maybelline and

5:43

was wonderful present it was the best

5:45

present ever got but the real gifted

5:47

got all those years ago was

5:49

love and appreciation for good music

5:53

and it's gift don't could never wear out

5:55

and i could never lose and i could never outgrow

5:58

and i regret that i didn't tell him this when he was like

6:00

someone to say it now take yourself

6:02

kindle thank you

6:13

david kendall mississippi as soon as late father

6:16

and elites are faring david

6:18

hale a singer songwriter a musician in

6:20

austin texas with for most

6:22

the last thirty years with syncing guatemala

6:24

the service or and you groaning he

6:27

wrote my early years they're

6:29

on a farm in rural northwest tennessee

6:32

have been great source of inspiration for stories

6:34

and sides i , another story

6:36

see three my father at local storytelling a

6:38

bit here in austin and that whenever

6:40

well as some other there's definitely

6:42

been good source material

7:01

mayor he told the story

7:03

swam in milwaukee wisconsin for

7:06

mrs person publishing

7:07

yeah and eighty nine medium

7:09

was fierce system

7:14

the i run up to my first daughter's birth

7:17

i

7:18

discover that the gulf between how

7:20

i thought should seal the

7:22

now i did film was getting wider

7:25

and wider it

7:27

wasn't much that fell down blue

7:29

or sad or anything it was just that it was a little bit

7:31

beyond my reach though

7:34

this

7:34

into a quick head as two weeks before

7:36

she was born my

7:39

wife and i late one evening

7:42

hang out she sits down and says it

7:46

is the most significant oh i'm

7:48

ever going here my life because

7:50

we spent three and three and hours trying figure out

7:53

if we're in labor nonsense i if you're

7:55

planning on having a kid or if you're on

7:57

your way to having kid if you spend three hours you spend

7:59

you hours trying to figure out here labor

8:02

the are in labor so

8:06

we rushed to the hospital and about forty five

8:08

minutes after that i'm holding

8:10

my daughter eleanor and

8:14

i'm relieved happy

8:17

in a sense but that

8:19

really shown the joy to

8:22

kind beyond me

8:25

well luckily my way steps in and she

8:27

sends me to go get her some nine hospital food

8:30

and so i go across the street to whole foods

8:33

which is a bastion of drama

8:40

and they're in iowa

8:43

iowa of seven

8:44

i'm reaching for an italian soda and

8:46

as i reach for it i heard drumbeat

8:49

on the radio tom tom tom and

8:53

keyboards and babies cry

8:55

and it's destroy saw that north pay attention

8:57

to the most part

9:00

by fall to my knees sobbing

9:02

because it's stevie freakin wonders

9:05

isn't she lovely and

9:08

i am suddenly clobbered

9:11

by the reality of what is hit and

9:15

frankly i'm floored an ,

9:17

having my epiphany epiphany

9:20

sitting there and i can hear in

9:23

the back door he has his voice saying

9:25

saying the effect of this and incidents

9:27

and i also i also

9:29

allows the only guy and i'll

9:31

seven of and

9:33

gonna oh

9:38

good parenthood moment going mention it drops

9:41

, bottles

9:44

sobbing over of my is lemon is

9:47

italian so it asked i guess is

9:49

nineteen year old kids is candidate you again

9:51

and comes up very whole up he

9:55

and his eyes are you okay serves

9:59

any the your bottle rebellion soda

10:02

and , to explain to him the beauty the death

10:04

the grapes of of what and singers

10:06

and ten toes and suddenly meaning to meats

10:08

and and not doing a good job

10:10

of it and finally

10:12

, it settle for i'm fine i spent lot of time

10:14

as the floor of whole foods i'll seven

10:17

cradling bows the seven on us

10:21

he goes away his glad that i away

10:23

him i'm fine but

10:25

the problem is still in still seven so

10:30

hi ray little bit fire and i get the manager

10:33

who looks like rush limbaughs angrier brother

10:37

and and so the

10:40

side honestly the best policy this time around

10:43

and as soon as he gets up there i tried stand up standing

10:45

up looks like you're in control and so

10:48

i turned him and i'm like look man i

10:51

just had my first daughter

10:53

born nine an hour ago

10:55

across street from here and

10:57

this song is playing and

10:59

he hasn't heard it's it's background noise to him

11:02

suddenly he does in his face

11:04

his moink for a second and then i

11:06

am buried in man my

11:10

shoulders

11:17

and all he can saw about

11:19

to me is mine

11:22

was born three months ago to

11:35

he promoted he said he's in madly in

11:37

love with an hour or so maybe in

11:39

story and his second daughter abigail

11:42

was born two years

12:19

people new baby okay

12:22

the young man from gonna to see know this elusive

12:24

father see the stories told

12:26

after a cast when the mosque

12:28

radio our cities

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the

12:34

not radio hours produced by atlantic

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public media woods hole massachusetts

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14:02

the my review our from prs and

14:04

has been her and her next three seller

14:07

is yes sir gomez he was forty

14:09

one imola of his listen chicago committee

14:12

here's my sir the him on

14:17

woke up on the waiting room

14:19

in hospital little bit confused

14:23

immediately i want to the room

14:25

with not so skip baby's looking for my newborn

14:27

baby boom the

14:30

first baby that i saw when i entered

14:32

the room was i'm actually looking

14:34

babies it's

14:37

do they have facial her sister

14:40

was so wrinkle up his

14:43

peers were wrinkle up like this card

14:45

to pieces of paper every

14:48

time to he read it he makes his it's

14:51

ugly noise i saw

14:53

sorry for whoever would a pious with baby

14:57

i continue looking for my baby i

14:59

made it all the way to the meat of room

15:02

when i heard my mother's bet my mother's

15:04

voice in mother's end of the room

15:07

the new know my grandson

15:10

he was looking at the idea maybe at

15:14

doral i as i as my mother

15:17

why do you seen that my son mail

15:20

so dumb ass the

15:22

you play you when you were born

15:28

are you know my mother's comments instead

15:30

betty the think why had walking up in the

15:32

little will do so

15:35

i started to break bug my stuff i

15:37

had just gotten home the night before from

15:39

work for working alone chief i

15:41

was tired our sleepy i was

15:43

hungry i i got

15:46

to bet on my says just hit

15:48

pillar when my wife say what

15:50

you from though

15:52

i got up and got

15:54

our eleven month old daughter ready my

15:57

wife ready and i dublin to

15:59

my lord house so they could babysit

16:02

my daughter when i took my

16:04

wife to the hospital now i wasn't

16:06

to worry about his whole the

16:08

liberating because i have been there

16:10

before ready jesse liver most before

16:14

it wasn't really my idea to either when

16:17

my daughter was born he was was

16:19

idea to have gone far

16:22

as this is delivery

16:24

the babies so they could think twice before

16:26

they get another baby of

16:29

, i'm a hot latino young

16:31

men men did a war for war

16:35

for eleven months later i was that

16:37

again with that base and

16:40

like i say i wasn't to worry about the whole thing

16:42

because i have thing there before the

16:44

only thing that i was worry about what

16:47

that i had i had so much love

16:49

for my daughter and so must

16:51

love for my wife but

16:53

i hated thinking to myself how

16:56

am i gonna get low forties or the baby

16:58

my heart is no way that

17:00

i can make room for him in his heart disease

17:02

to my slavery the maybe

17:05

going have to go another thought

17:10

the i wanted to worry about

17:13

delivery or do that

17:15

the thing is that it on my wife started complaining

17:17

allowed several times he told me

17:19

that she was going to die nc tommy to take care

17:21

of our daughter armor or the baby but

17:26

to got lucky happened her baby

17:30

was born and

17:32

i started to walking though to

17:34

work toward a baby was but

17:36

he said say something good i the only

17:38

thing that i managed to say was a room

17:40

spinning next

17:43

thing i know i woke up in

17:45

little waiting room got

17:48

buy some so

17:50

that's how i happen to

17:53

wake up with on on a little wales the

17:58

i asked the nurse if that was really the

18:00

baby the

18:01

not continue being me that stuff

18:03

was my baby

18:05

up to twenty four hours my wife

18:07

me and my babies were given okay

18:09

to go home

18:13

my mother some

18:15

sort oh my babies ears

18:17

because these was on all wife remedy

18:20

to fix that years so i've

18:22

got other hospital with my baby he look

18:24

even uglier than where than where born

18:30

but couple weeks later that

18:33

do without insulting to years actually

18:35

work on his ear started to look normal suffrage

18:38

to her for off the scheme was

18:40

nice as mood see was

18:42

was good looking baby he's gonna

18:44

look like me i like it is a good base salary

18:47

myself

18:50

however the breeding never

18:52

got better but got

18:54

worse my wife took our baby

18:57

the

18:58

hospital where he was born under doctors

19:00

and hospitals don't worry just little for the

19:02

worry about so , can buy with a

19:04

baby but then neither baby

19:06

study to torn blue so

19:08

we took the baby to another hospital in

19:10

the hospital they told either the baby had asthma

19:13

and poor him and a day secure unit

19:17

for two weeks my baby almost

19:19

die he was given

19:21

medici he was put it like free

19:24

we'll be clover i couldn't awesome

19:26

i couldn't hold him feel

19:28

by little hiccup better

19:30

or the one like i was finally able

19:32

to fall he he my arms and

19:35

i pray to god

19:37

i don't care if these babies ugly

19:39

i don't get it is beautiful his mind

19:42

i just wanted to be out these

19:47

include the doctor walk into the

19:49

roma say i can you baby's gonna be okay are

19:51

you going to be able to take him for more on

19:54

i started to cry that

19:57

will happen that

19:59

dot look i'm i'd be for was okay

20:01

and , yes a motor myself them to the doctor

20:05

doctor think i just grew another heart think

20:14

hold the record for the most chicago three

20:16

family is , another

20:19

month grand slam winner

20:21

the us nestor will tell you that

20:23

as thick as accomplishments are his kids

20:25

making his mother proud and winning the heart

20:27

of his fiance and a

20:29

little baby the sorry the recently graduated

20:32

i'm going out he

20:45

our next to a killer

20:48

is koran chopra we met her

20:50

on he was two thousand and sixteen of

20:52

the new voices whole fiercer

20:54

on fly that them off and watches the

21:01

i was in my dorm room at georgia tech

21:04

getting ready to take a final exam

21:07

when got call from ghana

21:09

i was told that

21:12

my dad had had a heart attack had

21:15

passed away in a matter

21:17

of hours just like

21:19

that he was no longer

21:21

there

21:22

wouldn't

21:24

shock that arrangements

21:27

had been made

21:28

my dad

21:30

bought a book me on the next flights

21:32

out to across to be my mom my

21:35

dad had moved gonna in the early

21:37

nineteen eighties the

21:40

be maintenance engineer on manufacturing

21:42

plant the money was much

21:44

better than what he was earning in india

21:46

so he moved halfway across the world year

21:50

after i was born my mom and i joined

21:52

him in across that's

21:54

where i grew up so our

21:56

lives in gonna centered around my

21:58

father but growing up we didn't spend

22:00

much time together he would leave

22:02

for work early in morning return

22:05

late at nights often

22:07

before i was awake and after

22:10

i was asleep six

22:12

days a week and sunday was

22:14

a half day but

22:17

i remember sunday evenings when

22:21

he would take me to a restaurant

22:23

called sunrise so i

22:25

could have my favorite meal teaching

22:28

down which are these

22:30

skewers of meets like kebab

22:32

marinated in local spices

22:35

these would all be memories now

22:39

on the flight over to gonna

22:42

i couldn't help but think that

22:44

we didn't have enough of these memories

22:46

in years together see

22:49

my dad was not very emotional person

22:52

the would not want to say i love you

22:55

talk about his day talked me into

22:57

bed take me to soccer

22:59

game he was consumed

23:02

by his work that's what

23:04

he needed to do the put food on

23:06

the table i wanted spend

23:08

more time together i wanted

23:10

to get know him or i had

23:12

questions what was it like

23:15

to rebuild your life in a place

23:17

that was so different from what

23:19

he was used to did

23:21

he like sports he

23:24

troublesome in school when

23:27

was young man how did he decide what

23:29

he wanted do with his life question

23:31

that i would now have to wrestle with in

23:33

college

23:34

these

23:37

are all unanswered questions

23:39

over

23:41

the next few days something

23:44

incredible was happening something

23:46

i can really appreciate looking back every

23:50

day someone different would bring home

23:52

cooked food who are house

23:54

not just for us but for

23:56

the many others who came to pay their respects

24:01

there were people who helped my mom and i with

24:03

things that didn't even know needed to be done getting

24:06

death certificate washing the body

24:08

organizing cremation we

24:11

decided to hold these him to prayer

24:13

sessions for ten days in role and

24:16

on the the floor of our living

24:19

room house there were tens of people

24:21

crammed indians and amiens like

24:23

en masse in a small

24:25

room some

24:28

these people was seeing for the first time worthy

24:33

why what brought them here after

24:35

one of us the lady came up to me

24:38

and said she was sales agents

24:41

in place to my dad used work and

24:45

she told me that my dad was reason

24:47

she was able to send for

24:49

kids to school she said

24:51

she was out of work and no one would

24:53

give her a chance and it was my dad who gave

24:55

her job that paid school fees skinny

24:59

tall man was

25:01

a driver on the factory floor and said

25:03

that he could build his house because of my father

25:06

my father had given him a personal

25:09

loan so he could build his home

25:11

and indiana having indiana house

25:13

is a sign that you have arrived in this world

25:18

i knew that he he

25:20

cared for the people he worked with that he

25:22

was respected he was guy who could get things

25:25

done i didn't know he was the business

25:27

of giving up loans mr

25:29

singh is manager that was

25:31

hired to run the factory working

25:34

for my dad for

25:36

the first three months that mr singh was

25:38

in gonna my

25:40

dad made sure that he got a home cooked meal

25:43

every evening for three months because

25:46

he knew what was like to move

25:48

halfway across the world and he wanted them

25:51

to know that he had home away from home the

25:55

day of the cremations i was standing

25:58

on the porch of our house and i

26:00

was looking outside and there must have been at least

26:02

one hundred people in our front

26:04

yard through the gates and onto

26:06

the dirt road outside indians

26:10

wearing their all white courses

26:12

gun ends in the traditional

26:14

red and black funeral attire

26:16

and they wanted to carry his body from

26:18

our home to the cremation ground which was about

26:21

ten kilometers away the

26:23

my dad was not a politician he

26:25

was not a village

26:28

chiefs he was not an

26:30

angio leader but he

26:32

had built community he

26:34

had touched the lives of these people

26:37

in profound ways and

26:40

it is in these stories that they were

26:42

telling me that was finding

26:44

my purpose a deep

26:47

understanding of service

26:51

of what it means to help others you

26:54

may not have the same opportunity what

26:57

is left of us when we

26:59

leave or the memories that we have

27:01

put the people we work with and

27:04

it's this purpose and

27:07

meaning that

27:09

inspires my work it

27:12

inspires the work

27:14

i do now see or with underserved

27:16

communities to get them jobs it's

27:20

what inspired me to go back to gonna to build

27:22

business there so the farming communities

27:25

that are more money and have better life and

27:28

general manager of that business

27:30

none other than mr singh and

27:33

mr singh reminds me that

27:36

my father dies or

27:38

works in the community my

27:40

dad also guys or community at home my

27:43

father's name is surrender and

27:45

we named our daughters are enough and

27:47

his spirits even her

27:49

everyday thank

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shop around friends company how

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could he cofounded now helping gun

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providing them with seeds and fertilizer combine

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their crops and selling the around the world crime

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the under thirty under thirty social entrepreneur

28:18

by forbes magazine he's currently

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the cofounder and executive vp of

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the new the opportunity at work

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when love most about for on story is

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what highlights how we can get to know someone who

28:30

has died a hearing stories about them

28:32

as an ashtray director of heard many

28:34

stories about people have died before

28:37

sometimes even before i was born

28:39

and even i never met some they live on

28:41

in my mind's the stories and loved ones tell

28:43

about them

29:05

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29:07

embarrassing confession to her father and

29:09

uncle in philadelphia becomes philadelphia they're figure

29:12

out snacks and the mosque radio our

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moth radio hour is produced by atlantic

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because i'm a review our from prs

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i'm catherine burns and our next story is

30:47

from amanda hamilton the a

30:49

warning appearance you may have little

30:51

in my car history of moment

30:53

for teenagers explore their sexuality

30:55

it's mild we went through

30:58

the under my vincent how old

31:00

are your the seventy eight

31:05

i come from long line as cougars

31:10

the why you know there's that is

31:13

a , b y u that mormon college

31:15

the sound and you you where

31:17

there's no drinking no drugs

31:19

no sex but lots of wacky board

31:21

games and it's

31:24

also the all also of my mom my dad

31:27

my grandparents me my cousins

31:29

everyone so when i was

31:31

female going to politic that's where i pictured

31:33

myself going i i grew up in idaho

31:36

but up would take we would go down

31:38

to you tougher b y u football games

31:40

and i went to school girls cancer and

31:42

volleyball camps and so when

31:44

it came time for time to play to cause was that

31:46

was plan then

31:49

when was seventeen my

31:51

dad was called to be a bishop

31:54

of are mormon congregation in jerome idaho

31:57

see mormon this if they're called because

31:59

it's not a full the time or paid position

32:01

but they're in charge it's like

32:03

being priest which meant that

32:05

when i was seventeen and i need go to

32:07

confession i had to confess

32:10

the my dad know

32:13

luckily luckily very good

32:15

girl i didn't drinker

32:17

oh crack

32:24

i am i did have to tiny

32:26

fault one , that i drove

32:28

obscenely fast and

32:31

to with that with really liked this boise's

32:33

a lot the to live

32:35

with confession because well with my dad right

32:37

so on , there's one confession

32:39

that couldn't avoid so in order to

32:41

go be why you you need of this

32:43

of recommendation recommendation because

32:45

they have this set of standards they require

32:48

everyone ah to follow i

32:51

am i had to have my bishop

32:53

vouch for me right to say that

32:55

i could follies and my

32:57

dad took me into his office which

32:59

was really just this double wide

33:01

trailer we had in back yard the

33:06

i didn't grow up the kind house that has an office

33:08

or study am i grew up on farm

33:11

in , we the street picture that the

33:13

local newspaper took if him once and

33:15

seeking send a picture this he's as big guy sucks

33:17

for any sitting on a wooden

33:19

fence in his thibault overalls

33:21

and and tucked under his she

33:23

beard he's are playing violin

33:27

you the giant both sets in the background

33:30

and that might as you

33:33

, have never chosen to be besides he's

33:36

the central and unassuming guy

33:38

he he writes his own music he

33:40

plays the violin he he

33:42

ah he laughs really easily and loved

33:44

puns he i'm he a abhors

33:47

telling people what to do but he loves

33:49

like telling them something very interesting

33:51

that thread lately but

33:54

he's also guy who does what he thinks of right

33:56

without any drama so when the time came

33:59

the only are going to be bishop he

34:01

accepted the call and he saved

34:03

us his beard and started wearing

34:06

her pants that would go

34:08

to assessment and i'm okay so there

34:10

we are going to his office for

34:12

i'm for this interview for

34:14

me to get into the way you the all matter of every once

34:17

and zombies or control the normal questions

34:19

know do believe in god or you

34:21

morally cleaned you seen from alcohol

34:25

and it would have

34:27

been so easy you know

34:29

my dad don't don't

34:31

, ride where parents all time it

34:34

was her fault chris

34:37

parents are gonna be there

34:39

i'm worried because i was stuck behind a tractor

34:41

on the way home right like don't we say

34:43

those lies all time

34:48

you get down to the very last question and

34:50

says well

34:53

and a girl is there any reason

34:55

eisen sign your recommendation go to b y

34:57

u

34:59

and i should have just said no for

35:01

the to go dad but

35:04

, is my dad you know and

35:06

i'm i'm looking him i'm the in

35:08

am i

35:09

crack and i inhale

35:13

and i exhale a sob

35:17

for you to my boobies i

35:29

heavy petting

35:30

that would make is using crime ice

35:33

i've had three children and i still

35:35

am not sure what heavy petting

35:40

no right

35:49

such a silly thing to confess the

35:52

right , it was the reason

35:54

that and i knew it i

35:57

knew that if this was my passage into

35:59

adulthood i wanted to do right

36:02

and i wanted to be the kind of adult you

36:04

know who doesn't get by and half truths or

36:06

try weasel her way out things of things to

36:08

be real i wanted to

36:10

look my dad and the i

36:13

no my dad kenneth pause

36:16

and well you know in

36:18

, this wide trailer

36:21

i am your bishop you know

36:23

but when we walk outside door i'm going be your dad

36:25

again and your dad doesn't need

36:27

to know about ways so me and your mother

36:29

certainly will not

36:35

the difference between you and your business i'm i'm

36:37

glad you told me the the right

36:39

thing i'm everything's gonna be okay

36:42

and we have been he told me loved me

36:45

and he did not find my recommendation the

36:47

way

36:49

oh that changed everything i

36:52

didn't go to be why you i didn't

36:54

marry my high school boyfriend who

36:56

incidentally specific did recommend

36:59

for him go to be why here a

37:02

few to have pet store

37:12

the more importantly it started me on

37:14

my journey to becoming the kind of adult that i

37:16

hope am today and

37:18

, know my dad upheld his end of the bargain he

37:21

he never grounded me he still sees

37:23

hand when he came over and

37:26

i and know if he ever talks

37:28

my mom about why he didn't say my recommendation

37:30

but i believe he did not because

37:33

my dad is honest just

37:36

like your daughter

37:43

amanda hamilton amanda

37:45

, a freelance education consultant writer

37:47

and blogger she still very

37:49

close to her father and has not needed to

37:51

confess anything

37:52

the long time she there has

37:54

been in kids hills in mexico

38:03

our final three

38:06

soldiers part of mosque to me as he says his

38:09

remember storyteller that murmur size

38:11

and it works athlete is in philadelphia the thunderous

38:13

network and william penn foundation

38:16

the story speak to the many different circumstances

38:19

that will lead man fast as father

38:21

that's

38:21

how fierce as far

38:23

the com os

38:27

the i'm summer after

38:29

i graduated high school

38:32

and , susan hoops

38:34

in my driveway with buddy

38:39

come on you even for school the

38:42

i don't know months maybe i'm

38:45

shocked not because

38:47

this is actually happening because

38:50

he doesn't know when know

38:53

exactly when i've

38:55

been counting the hours for months

39:00

if my release date from a family

39:03

i'm a mother who's had

39:05

hard time letting go if

39:09

leaving for school is going be the best

39:11

their my life really

39:13

going be the worst day of hers you

39:17

sort of half jewish mother

39:20

have tiger mother have

39:22

like helicopter mother has

39:25

even kind of looking over my shoulder and done

39:28

and okay job she's my

39:30

grades them and gonna get good as as

39:32

got do a good college it's not really

39:34

that it's the the little

39:36

things driven me crazy the

39:39

on my way the refrigerator get

39:41

myself snack you'll

39:44

get there before me open the door you hungry

39:46

hungry gonna get you something the

39:49

consensus desperation fuel

39:51

needed then i just

39:53

feel desperate to do something by myself

39:57

month later i leave for college and

40:00

i never really looked back

40:04

i spent lotta time by myself

40:06

and , a job takes

40:08

me me over world

40:10

england france peru

40:12

columbia brazil china

40:16

the end living in the shenandoah valley

40:18

of virginia my bedroom

40:20

overlooks the blue ridge mountains way run

40:23

ride my bike camp with my dogs

40:26

it's beautiful beautiful it

40:29

i'm looking out my window when my sister cause

40:31

one morning my

40:33

mother's health has taken a turn

40:36

for the worse the dying

40:40

over our doctors objections my

40:42

sister figured out

40:44

way to fulfill my mom's

40:47

wish us the want to be cared for

40:49

at home by family and

40:52

my sisters it all figured out

40:54

she has the hospital bed the ivy poor

40:56

feeding tubes wound care supplies ventilators

41:01

and my sister the

41:03

head or academic departments that

41:05

you the single mother of two year

41:07

old the

41:09

gonna need my help and

41:12

i'm not gonna say no they're

41:16

not happy we

41:18

don't run hospice the

41:21

event dependent quadriplegic in

41:24

tiny row house in philadelphia my

41:28

mom unconscious most the time and when

41:30

she's not she's paranoid

41:32

the we're not taking every measure humanly

41:34

possible to prolong her life

41:39

it's gonna be rough but thought

41:41

my roller bag arrive

41:43

at my sister's on sweltering

41:45

august day blow up an

41:47

air mattress on are tiny

41:49

guest room floor look

41:51

at the child thus grown going

41:53

telecommute began

41:56

counting the hours the

41:59

doctors haven't given my mom long their

42:02

moves she made it this far the

42:05

maybe a couple weeks the

42:09

better serve those you rather tight ship

42:11

says rules his it all figured out

42:14

and i'm horrible at all i can't

42:16

keep the sterile from the not sterile household

42:19

waste for medical waste

42:23

let alone get near my mother's airway i'm

42:25

like demoted to like the laundry and

42:27

the dishes and

42:31

zona and that

42:33

my nephew these two years

42:35

old these wonderful we

42:37

were scared

42:40

to bring this into

42:42

his life were scared we would

42:44

bring death and dying

42:46

fear anger cheers

42:49

but he's the money lifts us up you

42:52

don't to keeps us going his spirit

42:54

he just he's unstoppable that's

42:57

good because we

42:59

become months the my

43:01

becomes fall becomes winter and

43:04

on your birthday gets the best

43:07

birthday present i guess it's basketball

43:09

hoop for our living room little little basketball

43:13

and , spend the rest of that winter playing basketball

43:15

he calls a basketball with uncle dac

43:17

and holly want do with played basketball basketball

43:20

with uncle duck and we work on his passing

43:22

and shooting and his ball handling

43:25

and it just keeps it going he's

43:28

so obsessed basketball whole world becomes

43:30

kind of a where's waldo of basketball

43:33

will be driving to the city he'll see people playing

43:35

basketball hundreds of feet away still

43:37

looks you my new yorkers just on the off

43:39

chance as cartoon about basketball

43:42

he spots at the matter where it is one

43:46

morning my mom's

43:49

that alarm goes off like siren

43:52

the house and

43:55

that happens a lot but this time i can tell

43:57

the nurses scared my sister's scared you

44:00

joan and came upstairs but even he can tell

44:02

sometimes go on on he's looking around the

44:04

corner mommy mommy think

44:06

i've got distract them no

44:08

my sister i told you she runs tight

44:10

ship lotta rules no screen

44:13

time for jonah no tv no computer

44:15

know i pad he's never seen it desperate

44:18

times i pull my phone out my pocket i

44:20

remember video i've seen that money i press play

44:23

it's stephen curry the and be a starts

44:25

dribbling two balls one in each hand behind his

44:27

back to his legs john is transported

44:29

into another world it's a window into

44:31

like a university didn't know existed

44:35

the forget all about what's going on downstairs

44:37

but i don't and i'm

44:39

listening and i

44:41

hear the alarm the

44:45

calm down my sister's save

44:47

my mom's life the gun the

44:50

take a lot of pride zone away from

44:52

that video but i'm we've

44:55

got him downstairs finish get them just take

44:57

him daycare that afternoon

44:59

jonas so what does

45:01

kapalua to the big boy court with thick big

45:03

boy ball to big boy quite there's a basketball

45:05

court around the corner and

45:08

, day is a little longer spring time

45:10

the sun so signing we have thought

45:12

gets there before dinnertime dinnertime

45:15

know normally with the ball so big

45:17

donors don't forget to even chariot

45:19

stitching barely lifted over his head those ten

45:21

foot basket he's not really suit and much

45:23

but we dribble a little bit we pass little bit then

45:27

he often get little distracted by on a

45:29

mud puddle are aware of stecher

45:31

some some some but

45:33

on this day their ten guys on their court they're playing

45:35

ball their plan pickup game five on

45:37

five and donuts and sex

45:40

the the not mentioned the

45:43

on it adopted is little african american boy

45:45

and he's a tan african american man playing

45:47

basketball and you're just looking

45:49

at them like they're gods and i'm sick

45:51

of this is great don't will be able to impress them with

45:53

his moves kids that a dribble the

45:55

good job with both hands he keeps his eyes up

45:57

when his dribble and he's gonna knock

46:00

their socks off the

46:02

balls like dribbling away like like rolling

46:04

away from i'm he's , obsessed

46:07

with them and more than that

46:09

they're playing shirts resist skins half them are shirtless

46:12

and looked down at him and all he's

46:14

trying to do is take off his shirt shirt

46:17

now my sister has rules

46:19

right she runs a tight ship yet

46:21

be dressed be outside noticed pants

46:23

shoes shirt looked

46:26

out an m a look those guys i reached

46:28

out health and pull off that shirt he

46:31

looks down as down as he looks out those man

46:33

he looks down as little belly he is blessing

46:36

out if there's happier boy on the

46:38

planet earth i

46:41

look around i see those man as he jonah

46:45

they he the chain

46:47

link fences the philly rowhouses

46:50

they come a long way from virginia

46:54

what i'm doing something right

46:58

mom my mom the the last much longer

47:02

he passed away few weeks later and

47:04

we've done it we took

47:07

over home we she

47:09

was taken care by family my

47:12

release day i'm done go

47:15

back to virginia that up right where

47:17

left off they

47:20

call realtor the not

47:22

front house and

47:24

i live a half block from jonah an

47:26

hour block from the dusk ball court

47:29

i've

47:31

never been closer to my family

47:34

and i never felt more free that

47:38

you

47:44

there

47:47

was shot farmers guys

47:49

that how he and his family doing here

47:52

to the reason alone pepper and cd

47:54

the wonder why they're not in the story he's

47:56

as soon as it is now

47:58

for years old and love looks and construction

48:01

vehicles how

48:01

much as much as he loves basketball we

48:04

, get out to the court whenever we can sometimes

48:06

take him to seventy sixer are you can

48:08

basketball games games a new

48:10

little sister who was beautiful and mighty her own

48:12

right and my remarkable

48:14

and heroic sister is still single parenting

48:17

cheering academic department and

48:19

doesn't allow any screen time are exposed

48:21

as and warm weather without that's great to

48:24

see picture of jack and shown or go to them off

48:27

outdoor i

48:29

really related to jack story my own

48:31

dodd frank burns is amazing also

48:34

i'm lucky enough to have second dad my

48:36

said that he when he started dating my

48:38

mom when i was nine and even though he

48:40

actually grew on small farm in rural

48:42

alabama didn't have running

48:44

water until he was twelve he's

48:46

pretty sophisticated guy i remember

48:48

him so on business trips to new york city when you the

48:50

city my mom and would bring me back trinkets

48:53

and the big city was always blew my mind

48:56

when went to college he was the one who drove

48:58

me to boston and insisted the stuff in your

49:00

city for the night to check it out people

49:03

sometimes ask me how small town alabama girl

49:05

like me the been big city i only

49:07

did should be that can make up and he

49:09

thirty seven the in few weeks so happy

49:11

birthday man olevia

49:22

sorry about your dad or stepdad or

49:25

anything else oliver stories come

49:27

to us to our pitched whine we get them

49:29

from all over the world and love hearing them

49:31

wilson to every single one and many

49:33

the people who call have been invited to tell their stories

49:35

and mainstage just calmly

49:37

two minute voicemail with a summer

49:39

of years story number , call

49:41

is eight seven seven seven nine

49:43

nine mo or you can purchase a story

49:45

right at or website my dot org my

49:49

best friend child was my grandpa the

49:52

mother and i lived with my grandparents for few years

49:54

after i born

49:56

having a hammer nail in his workshop i

49:58

learned trustees like has embark carpeted

50:00

refrigerator to him my grandmother he

50:02

did that in fact it was it

50:05

anything i couldn't jump to him the

50:07

proper described refrigerator

50:10

and even once the roof is garage was

50:12

was whenever

50:15

we would have meal would sit next to him

50:17

because he would eat the gross food that i had one

50:19

when was watching the coming out of eating brussel

50:21

sprouts on number of occasions it

50:23

it up hiding of my played either just say

50:26

i was testing it to see if it was the

50:28

human consumption or , shutting

50:30

it's appointing one day we were in his workshop

50:32

and had beer i walked over and said he

50:34

grandpa better check that for boys he

50:37

looked around cautiously he let me have

50:39

me immediately decided

50:41

that this is another gross food and it's not

50:43

for me i loved everything

50:45

about my grandfather he talked mean like

50:47

i was person not just some kid from

50:50

the time came take me away at my wedding like

50:53

two thousand three my grandpa was diagnosed with

50:55

mesothelioma the lung cancer

50:57

that the it

50:59

open for he was very sick and i was pregnant

51:02

village about three hours away from each other and he couldn't travel

51:05

after , have my son it's a to

51:07

to meet my grandpa mid december december

51:09

grandmother to hold his great grandson once before

51:11

she died in died and grateful

51:13

that they got to meet each other and aside

51:15

from me they had something else uncommon

51:18

to see my son was born in my grandmother's birthday

51:20

then

51:22

you can purchase your own story that only eight seven

51:25

seven seven nine nine mom or

51:27

by going to the mosque

52:05

the

52:05

roses our was the most artistic

52:08

director catherine burns the

52:10

stories in the show were directed by larry

52:12

rosenstein the rest of the most directorial

52:14

staff include sarah haberman sara

52:16

or since in as jennifer hudson and

52:18

make moles production support

52:20

from timothy the the

52:23

, would like to thank the bill and melinda gates

52:25

foundation for their support of the most community

52:27

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