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You know what time it is, sweetie? It's

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hump day Q&A time! Hump

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day Q&A! Hump day Q&A! Welcome

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to the Naked Marriage Podcast Hump

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Day Q&A. We

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love answering your questions, so every

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Wednesday we're dropping a special podcast

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episode focused on one of your

0:26

questions. You can submit your own

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marriage-related question online at nakedmarriagepodcast.com or

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by sending us a message on

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Instagram at Dave and Ashley Willis.

0:34

We've got a great question today,

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so let's dive in. Hey

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1:53

Today's question is such an important

1:55

question and it's this. It says,

1:58

what kinds of things should we consider?

2:00

better before giving birth to our child.

2:03

Yeah. I mean, what are those things you

2:05

need to talk about before that

2:07

baby comes? And whether it's

2:09

a first baby or second, third,

2:11

whatever, there's a lot to

2:13

discuss. And I think just top

2:16

of the list, some of the things to

2:18

discuss are baby names. Like

2:20

what are we going to name this

2:22

child? There's the significance of

2:24

what a name means. And if we're

2:27

going to have family heritage involved,

2:29

and then are we going to be fair to both

2:31

sides of the family and how we do that and

2:35

talking through all that. Number two, I would say

2:38

birth plan, which

2:41

really needs to be probably more

2:43

up to the wife, I would say. Like how does

2:45

she want to give birth?

2:47

Right, because there's a lot of choices. These

2:49

days, it's not just hospital birth

2:51

or at home birth. You have a birthing

2:53

center where you're with a doula or a

2:56

midwife. We know a

2:58

lot of people who've kind of been a

3:00

combo where they meet at the birthing center for all their

3:02

appointments, but then the midwife and doula comes to their home

3:04

and they get birth at home. Do

3:06

you want to be medicated or non-medicated? And I

3:08

agree with Dave as a woman who's given birth

3:10

four times. Let the woman decide that. I think

3:12

the woman has more, the wife has more to

3:14

say with more weight on this because

3:16

she's the one who's enduring this. We've

3:20

talked to couples where having a

3:22

medicated birth or non-medicated

3:24

birth is like a real issue and it

3:26

could be just in your personal beliefs about

3:29

medications. Just talk

3:31

through that, but no, there's really no

3:33

right or wrong way here. You want that baby

3:35

to come into this world healthy. That's the ultimate

3:37

thing is you want the mother and the baby

3:39

to be healthy, right? Absolutely. So

3:41

know that you're on the same team here and try

3:45

to talk through those things. What else do you think

3:47

is important? I think practically you need to decide who

3:50

you want at the hospital with you if

3:52

you want anyone in the room with you

3:55

besides the two of you, a mom

3:58

or talk through that ahead of The

4:00

more things you can pre-decide, the less stressful it is.

4:02

And then I think for after you get home with

4:05

the baby, to talk about

4:07

how you can best

4:09

try to

4:11

establish some kind of a routine together

4:13

of making sure that you're both

4:16

getting as much rest as possible and

4:18

it's going to be hard in those early weeks, but you'll get through it. And

4:21

then beyond that, how's life

4:23

going to change in terms of work schedules?

4:26

Are we going to take maternity or paternity leave?

4:30

What financial decisions do we need to make to

4:32

kind of help make a way

4:34

for all this? I mean, having a

4:36

baby, it's one of the greatest gifts

4:38

in life. I mean, such a gift. Children

4:41

are a blessing from the Lord, the Bible

4:43

says, and they really are, but they are

4:46

also, they're a complicated blessing because they will

4:48

change every part of your life instantly. And

4:51

so I think that you just have to kind of

4:54

be ready for that. If

4:58

it's your first child, I think that you need to

5:00

pretty quickly decide like, who are we going to trust

5:02

to watch this child? Because

5:05

you've got to keep focusing on your

5:07

marriage. You're not just parents,

5:09

your husband and wife first, and

5:11

you got to make sure that you get those date

5:13

nights. I mean, early on in our marriage, our baby,

5:15

first baby was just a few weeks old and my

5:17

mom was like, all right, I'm going

5:20

to come and watch this baby. You guys need

5:22

to get out of this house. And

5:25

I'm so glad she did. And it felt weird and awkward

5:27

at first to leave and go grab

5:29

some dinner somewhere. But it

5:32

was so important. She was very wisely

5:35

reminding us that you've got to get in a rhythm of

5:38

connecting his husband and wife and not just his

5:41

mom and dad. I love that.

5:43

And that's, I mean, that's something that we were kind of

5:45

challenged to do right from the start. And

5:47

we're getting up with that with each of our kids and even now

5:49

that we have kids that are growing up. I

5:51

want to say too, one of the biggest things where

5:53

we see husbands and wives really not on the same

5:56

page is all the different duties

5:58

that need to happen.