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Chicken Dance Elmo with Mitch Silpa

Chicken Dance Elmo with Mitch Silpa

Released Tuesday, 23rd January 2024
Good episode? Give it some love!
Chicken Dance Elmo with Mitch Silpa

Chicken Dance Elmo with Mitch Silpa

Chicken Dance Elmo with Mitch Silpa

Chicken Dance Elmo with Mitch Silpa

Tuesday, 23rd January 2024
Good episode? Give it some love!
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Episode Transcript

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0:00

Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins. And I'm

0:02

Nicole Parker. On this podcast, we improvise

0:04

in character using real posts from a

0:06

popular neighborhood networking website. Occasionally, we

0:08

change the names of some streets. And

0:10

that's all you need to know. To support

0:12

the show and unlock the ad-free archive, as

0:15

well as exclusive monthly episodes of The Bonus

0:17

Room, go to cbbworld.com and sign up for

0:19

a Maximus membership. And now, please enjoy

0:21

this episode of... The Neighborhood

0:23

Listen! Hello. This

0:26

is a brief message to our loyal listeners.

0:29

I'm Joan Pedestrian. And I am Burnt

0:31

Mia Pade. And before we begin, we

0:33

would... And I'm Doug Coran Pedestrian. Okay,

0:36

Doug, thanks, babe. Before

0:38

we begin this week's episode, we want

0:40

to address something that happened in last

0:42

week's episode. Yes, on episode 511

0:45

of The Neighborhood Listen, we used a listener-submitted

0:48

post as the basis for our interview. And

0:51

the post turned out to be a joke post

0:53

that quoted liberally from the television sketch show, Sir,

0:55

You Have to Leave, which neither Joan nor

0:58

myself has ever seen. I

1:00

have not watched any sketch comedy program since

1:02

2009. I think it just

1:04

simply stopped being funny to me for some reason. And

1:07

I do not like sketch comedy because the stories are

1:09

too short. So when

1:11

we were... And I think sketches are too

1:13

silly. I mean, none of that would

1:15

ever happen in real life. Okay, Doug. Okay,

1:18

I'm just sorry. All right. I mean, that's

1:20

kind of the point of... Right. You know what? It's

1:23

neither here nor there. It's

1:25

okay, babe. We're all angry. All right.

1:28

And sorry. Okay, yeah. Just

1:30

trying to get through this. So when

1:32

we contacted the person who posted this

1:35

fraudulent item on the neighbor app, a

1:37

man calling himself Polly Coca-Cola, we had

1:39

no idea we were being catfished. Is

1:42

that not the catfish? Is

1:44

that what you call it? I

1:47

mean, I feel catfished. I mean, I certainly felt tricked

1:49

and violated. I thought that was catfish. Is there more

1:51

to it? I think that's definitely part of

1:53

catfishing. I thought that was more of a relationship kind

1:55

of thing. Well, when I think of

1:57

how I feel, somehow catfish just seemed to really...

2:00

It up i feel consists mostly guess

2:02

as anyways way a kind conduit had

2:04

conned catfish it wasn't it wasn't great

2:06

people it wasn't great. We know

2:09

our listeners look to us for interviews with

2:11

real people who are not fade and we

2:13

regret having been duped in this manner. The

2:16

listener who submitted the post claims to

2:19

have been on aware that the post

2:21

with quoting liberally from the show it's

2:23

time for you to leave and we

2:25

take them at their word. However, we

2:28

have asked our social media director Allison

2:30

to conduct a thorough internal investigation. Allison

2:33

has not yet returned our goals, but

2:35

again, We have been the

2:37

neighborhood lives in. Regret run

2:39

the error of the still with you. sorry

2:41

only he'll do not really. I mean that

2:44

refers to be like to pledge of allegiance

2:46

was just so good. Why

2:49

we regret the or think it as as all three

2:51

of us regretted. So. He said also, yeah,

2:53

I regretted do. But I mean it's I'm scared. it's

2:55

I say guess I I think a week covers that.

2:57

I don't think we all have to say that the

2:59

same time. Okay, as it's forgot my

3:01

keys, that's all. Know like I

3:04

also you're ever supposed to do it. Jonah

3:06

was it was this was Doug's idea. Okay,

3:10

The was was my idea of but. Is to

3:13

make the cops right. What was your employee

3:15

base? Whose idea was that idea? I suppose

3:17

is idea was that we all say we

3:19

regret the error at the same time which

3:21

is I think a little strange and I

3:23

think it detracts from the the message and

3:25

I think if I say we i'm clearly

3:27

speak on bow outwit we don't I think

3:29

we're We're getting in the weeds here and

3:31

we should. Were so close to the and.

3:34

I know and and I really do. I

3:36

think I just for so sorry you know

3:38

we're just so sorry that know whether or

3:40

not we're seeing it all at the same

3:42

time are individually it's We do regret the

3:44

error. So you're right, let's seven dust ourselves

3:47

off, pick ourselves up item of that's the

3:49

phrase and now as they say in my

3:51

other two cents on the so. Nod,

3:54

nod or your

3:56

neighbors. said skin

4:00

And meet new neighbors

4:02

as well. And

4:07

welcome once more to The Neighborhood Listen.

4:14

Joan, would you like to explain what The Neighborhood

4:16

Listen is? Oh,

4:21

I'd love to. Here on our last episode. Of the season?

4:24

Well, yes, of the season. Yes. Oh,

4:26

goodness. Yes. No, we're going to

4:28

do so many of these. We're never going to stop doing it. No, wait, we're never

4:30

going to stop. No, we'll do this with a grave. We'll

4:34

do it first up. No, that sounds demented. What we do

4:36

here is we take post from The Neighborhood Hap and we'll do it on the phone. We'll

4:39

do it on the phone. We'll do it on the phone. We'll

4:41

do it on the phone. We'll do it on the phone. We'll do it

4:43

on the phone. We'll do it on the phone. What do you

4:45

think? No, that sounds demented. What

4:49

we do here is we take post from The Neighborhood

4:52

Hap. People post about all sorts of different things. We bring

4:54

in those people, or the people who are posted about. We

4:56

get to know them a little bit better, just getting to

4:58

know our neighbors. And our neighbors, of

5:00

course, are the people in

5:03

Dignity Falls. Yes, which is where we are.

5:05

And I am Joan Pedestrian and I am the top

5:07

realtor here in Dignity Falls for now. And

5:10

this is Berme Apayay. I'm Berme Apayay. I

5:13

am the pharmacist-in-chief at the Dignity Falls.

5:15

I'm the brand-new pharmacy here in Dignity

5:17

Falls. I think this was one of

5:19

the biggest developments of this season, was that you moved

5:21

from your CVS. How long were you

5:23

at the CVS? Oh, I was at the CVS

5:25

for years. Yeah, years. It was my first job out

5:27

of college. I

5:34

started as a pill stalker. Yes. I

5:37

wasn't even a pharmacist then. And I don't believe

5:39

they even have that position anymore. That job has been

5:41

eliminated. Yes, I thought so. It's replaced by a robot. Yes,

5:44

of course. Yes. And

5:46

that robot malfunctioned recently. It went on a

5:48

rampage. Oh dear. Oh my God. Like

5:50

against humans? Yes. Oh

5:53

God. Yes, yes, yes. And

5:56

There was smoke coming out of it and

5:58

sparks. A brutally

6:00

his arm Lucky. You

6:05

think it would? Have been given that strength as they would

6:07

is dealing with very light Bill Maher I. Know, I

6:09

know and of of course but your fucking

6:11

pills. A very delicate operation. I already. Name's

6:13

L, but again never bites. Fine motor skills,

6:15

not breaking a bow. And you know reward.

6:17

Here's where things are producing. Some of

6:20

the pills are crushed and.inside the workings

6:22

of robot increase. Seems.

6:26

That seems the wild side It. Does seem

6:28

wanna. See.

6:30

You have of a robot at the falls.

6:33

Are. Don't we have? What we have is

6:35

off. He is one of the things I'm

6:37

not crazy about. Tell case is charming, but

6:40

it does add more works. It's a sort

6:42

of Goldberg contraption all day where there's all

6:44

these things has to happen in the pills.

6:46

Go, don't shoot the the gold one by

6:48

one into the bottle. For that

6:50

yes, are sick a lot of excess of

6:52

one bottle? It takes like the

6:54

a full day. Will you know the ins

6:57

and actually might go away? because if it hits

6:59

it's or medical and the policy, it's brand new

7:01

and it's sort of our it's sort of the

7:03

well really, it's just a catch. All there's so

7:05

many different things, it's a healthy money. three hi,

7:07

this is it. New sponsors are I swear it's

7:10

third. her says think. Their seats it regularly

7:12

like your that you the brunt of Dubai. oh.

7:14

Yes I am I am. Ah and

7:16

it got a waterfall. Miss Center can

7:18

not is a dry bar in the

7:20

bottom. You can also mail packages that

7:23

is among the republic. Ah no Republic

7:25

Ah. Portrait Studio. Studio

7:27

A Caricature Studio. Point

7:30

I was misspelled. It is against the

7:32

both of these. Trying out a lot of different

7:34

things. It's

7:38

right next to the porters businesses and I

7:41

mean people go there to get their pictures

7:43

taken. Passports the software doesn't return. fool would

7:45

go. Slow.

7:48

And in there have been some mistake where they needed

7:50

a path. Purpose is a caricature of them and made

7:52

people I'm unable to. Well we the country knows. It

7:54

turned away the airport. Video ah enda and

7:56

so ah and I would never

7:59

do at because defensive about my

8:01

weird ears. I know,

8:03

I don't think your ears or that weird

8:05

and I think that in some some people

8:07

might find them charming. A maybe. Every single

8:09

time. Well I mean fool me. Once I I

8:12

did it three times. I mostly for the kids.

8:14

Can we be at a fair or something? the

8:16

carnival and then we'd have we'd done a lot

8:18

of the characters. Are he leave months? he loves?

8:21

A lot of them are quite badly. My husband

8:23

are engineer have a bar you. Say.

8:25

I'm in the you're lazy room. What's

8:27

the latest? My lazy day off work?

8:30

we are. You are recorded and pushed

8:32

over. Oh yes, Oh yes I am.

8:34

I realized. He had been scheduled today and he

8:36

was already to do is leave. Yea, vague,

8:38

you first have sworn allegiance. Him:

8:41

Italy's in the lazy room. What do you

8:43

do in the Leisure Mon? You're lazy.

8:45

The zone little as humanly possible. Makes

8:47

sense though. I'm

8:50

in the supine position all

8:52

of all. Well the Us. He

8:54

just sad that was that he learned that on

8:56

on it was on jeopardy the other night and

8:58

he just saying it. Birds

9:01

There was no courses. Finds

9:04

his prices on the counter. For

9:10

a plate of food out a a remote

9:12

super center using. Because you know one of my very

9:14

good friends. It's super. I know.

9:17

How is she doing? Sees seed

9:20

not great. Super back.

9:23

On one size. Only live once

9:25

saw. A

9:28

society says well oiled or see with

9:30

i'm you know there was a girl

9:32

there was a girl was a high

9:34

school with is that and it was.

9:37

It was spurred much so dramatic. This

9:39

was because nobody did a better oh

9:41

you. Mean, save half of her head? Yes,

9:43

Okay, ah. And I thought it

9:45

was very exciting isn't. It

9:47

shows that A D on C B couldn't

9:50

really giver trouble for it like violating dress

9:52

code or to raise rates are, but you

9:54

know than one or two of course. but

9:56

it was very bold. Maneuver isn't. so

10:02

anecdote complete. Now I'm a

10:04

robot. Oh,

10:07

but speaking of robots, I was saying that they're trying so

10:09

many different things at the Falls Massie, that I think that some

10:12

of these things are going to fall away. They tried a lot

10:14

of extra things in sort of the opening weekend. There is the

10:16

Rube Goldberg one. Yeah. There's a window so the

10:18

kids can watch it, and it's fun for

10:20

them, but it's not practical. They also tried almost

10:22

like a, like a, like a, um, with a sushi

10:25

conveyor belt with the pills, you know, with the, with

10:27

the, as they, as they came out. But then of

10:29

course everyone was grabbing ones that didn't belong to them.

10:31

I know. And then they put that behind glass

10:33

and they had this, this lasted a day. They

10:35

had a sort of a Lucy and Ethel impersonators

10:40

where the pill conveyor belt was getting ahead. I

10:43

went in for that. I went in for that.

10:45

I auditioned for that. No, I was very mad. I

10:47

didn't get, I rehearsed. You can ask Doug. You

10:49

should be thrilled because they forgot to switch out for

10:52

prop pills and both of them

10:54

had a terrible day.

10:56

Let me check that way. Internal

11:00

bleeding. Just stuff in zanics in their cheeks. That's

11:05

right. And internal bleeding. Yes. Well,

11:11

I mean, I'm, I, I'm not happy

11:13

to hear that because you know, a professional should have

11:15

been doing it, but whatever. They didn't do the research.

11:17

It's fine. No.

11:20

Do you think that would have made a difference? Well,

11:23

yes, because I honestly think that if you, if

11:25

you do your research, you know that what the

11:27

props should look like. And then you probably practiced

11:29

you, I would have asked for take home practice

11:32

pills. Right. Just like you use a

11:34

rehearsal skirt or you wear high heels. If you want,

11:36

if you're going to be wearing high heels in a

11:38

show, I would have, I would have perhaps, which

11:41

is what actors say when they have a request for rehearsal.

11:44

Yes, I have a round. I would

11:46

have perhaps for practice pills, prop pills.

11:49

Yeah. So I

11:51

think they'll probably get rid of that Rube Goldberg situation.

11:53

I think we've all lobbied for it,

11:55

but the owner is eccentric. Well,

11:58

without a doubt. Do

12:02

we know how we got his money yet? There

12:05

are a lot of theories. Yes, there's a lot of rumors. One

12:08

is that he found it. Found

12:10

it, okay. Just found a bunch of money. Just found it.

12:13

Just found a pile of money. Just found a pile of money.

12:15

Like a money cave. If

12:17

you're familiar with those. Oh, well we almost built one

12:19

here. Doug really wanted one. Oh sure. Well

12:21

who wasn't the one? Well sure, yeah. He sort of

12:24

like gets to go down there and imagine that he was

12:26

going to put gold bars down there. Just, you know, fake

12:28

gold bars. Some real. You're like a dragon's whore,

12:30

you roll around in it. Yeah, like a treasure. Like

12:32

a treasure. Yeah. Like the

12:34

Desolation of Smaug. Yes. Rolling

12:37

around on gold bars is not as fun

12:39

as it looks. No. No,

12:42

no, no. None of them move at all. Those should

12:44

just be, you know, their first sort of decoration. You

12:46

know what I mean? But the pile that you roll

12:48

around in should be cash. Yes. Coins.

12:52

Yes. Maybe some precious gems. Precious

12:54

gems. I still haven't seen it. When you mentioned

12:56

uncaught gems earlier and I still haven't seen it.

12:58

Joan, I would say keep it up. Keep up with the work.

13:00

Okay. You really weren't a fan. No. Okay.

13:04

Didn't see the point. I heard it was very stressful, Joan. Oh,

13:06

I don't like stressful movies. That's what everybody said. I

13:08

just hate stressful movies. I saw it after

13:11

people warned me that it was stressful. And

13:13

then when it started, I thought, this is

13:15

not real. Who cares? Why should

13:17

I be stressed out? What a wonderful way to take yourself out

13:19

of the reality and calm yourself down. Well, if

13:21

somebody's telling you, yeah, you're going to be so

13:23

stressed watching it. It's like, well, not me because

13:25

that's not a real person. I just can't stand

13:27

all the early comedies,

13:30

well, early, I guess, nineties. There

13:32

was just one disaster after another. Now

13:34

the roof is on fire. Now the cat, I think

13:37

I'm mostly just thinking of Meet the Paris. The

13:40

money pit. Oh, the money

13:42

pit. Yeah, the money pit. It starts

13:44

out really funny, then yes, it just

13:46

gets un-fun. Yeah, really fun. The duplex.

13:49

The duplex. Never saw that one. Why did I see

13:51

it? I

13:53

don't know why

13:56

movies want us to be so stressed. I

13:58

don't understand. I mean, I don't know. I

14:00

guess the idea of laughing at

14:03

someone elses stress Emilio? Funny. but.

14:06

Is it as phony as your favorite movie burns

14:08

of all time? B. Suburban

14:15

a window where users. Out

14:17

say that most. of my figure breast a

14:19

farm and you know I i i

14:21

wanted to like one hour photo because

14:23

the pharmacy. But.

14:26

It's so it's sovereign. Very dark

14:28

your am I correct is very

14:30

dark I ever seen as my

14:32

favorite movie on. The

14:39

really didn't mean to soup. you seem to begin

14:41

at the thinking but they. Just. Like

14:44

we. Started

14:49

our but I can't Well as there is no

14:51

one thing I mean of course you could get

14:54

up. And so you

14:56

have said ownership of the laziness and say

14:58

I could get up and I'm not going

15:00

to. The truth is is not lazy as

15:02

I can just see him again. So.

15:04

I really wanted the world. Are you able is

15:06

something holding you? don't have club? Is

15:09

if I'm just enjoying over. you are second the gym with

15:11

your t ball bat. Know never understood.

15:13

That is exactly the way to have drawn

15:15

on him right there were not I wanted,

15:17

I Love.grass. Isn't

15:21

even understand what you need to work out with

15:24

a T Ball apparatus? Yeah, it does. Doesn't seem

15:26

enough in a small. Room Are you a My favorite

15:28

Movies: The Taking of Pelham One to. Her:

15:31

is it sorry Which was this for

15:34

taking of Pelham one two three six

15:36

seeking an original. I don't know

15:38

this. Means is a movie about that

15:40

is a movie about a Subway heist?

15:42

Really? Yes. I love for a muscle

15:44

was in its muscle is I'm not

15:46

sure. I think it's Matthau never heard

15:49

of. Maybe it's dramatic. He probably ask

15:51

for it's rebounds muscle. seen that one

15:53

movie. Do you suggest which?

15:55

that's the more dramatic pronouncements I think.

15:57

Sell myself. Husband: Matt Lauer Sillier. It

16:00

did make me laugh when I said it. And Walter Macfowl, all of a

16:02

sudden I'm picturing him being handed an Academy Award.

16:04

I've never heard it out loud before. Ever?

16:07

Never. I guess it doesn't

16:09

come up in conversation that often. It really doesn't. So

16:12

it's just like a 70s disaster kind of movie.

16:14

Not a disaster, but a thriller. Well, just a thriller. A

16:16

thriller, yes. Sure. Well,

16:18

okay. Here's what I like about it. As a

16:20

pharmacist. Okay. That eventually

16:22

a criminal is caught

16:25

because of a sneeze. Really?

16:28

Yes. Oh boy. That's,

16:31

would you say that that really, is that what

16:33

sparked the interest? Were you already

16:36

a pharmacist and we saw this? No, you couldn't have been. No,

16:38

no, no. I saw this when I was

16:40

a kid. Maybe that's what made me a pharmacist. That's what I'm

16:42

asking. Okay. Joan, I'm sorry about that. Yeah,

16:44

I don't know where that came from. I don't know the way

16:46

you said that. I think you're lightheaded from all of your think-breaths.

16:49

It's possible. I hope it's not

16:51

doing the lasting damage to

16:54

me. Doing

16:57

those think-breaths. Well,

17:01

we're going to have to check it out, Bay. We're going to

17:03

have to watch it. Hey, real quick, Joan.

17:05

You said in the intro,

17:07

you said you're the top realtor in Dignity Falls

17:09

for now. What did that mean? Oh, well, it

17:11

just meant that. I mean, if you've

17:13

been following this season, you know that I've been through

17:15

sort of a lot, sort of

17:17

a sort of come to Jesus or

17:19

whoever you believe in moment. I've

17:22

really had sort of some struggles because as

17:24

people know, I've been very, I'm

17:26

feeling edged

17:34

out by these Realty shows, Realty reality

17:36

shows like Selling Sunset and all of

17:38

these. Other examples that we never

17:41

knew. Well, there's another

17:43

one that's called OC Realty, I think, or

17:45

something like that, something

17:52

in Southern California. And

17:54

also, I do mean I had mentioned Joanna Gaines

17:56

before. There's all these other people on like the-

17:59

Of course, I thought of Joanna Kearns. Yes, as always.

18:02

On the, um, on the, all these

18:04

different... I'm thinking of Chris Gaines. Oh, Chris Gaines!

18:06

When is he gonna make it? Now, where did he go? Oh,

18:09

is that the sort of, is that Garth

18:11

Brooks' sort of, uh, ultra-high? That's Mr. Hyde.

18:14

That was a weird period, wasn't it? How

18:16

odd. But you know what? You

18:19

gotta... good for him. Yeah, why not? Why

18:21

not? Uh, but yes,

18:23

I, I, uh, I feel like Realty's

18:25

now been put, it's sort of been

18:27

Hollywoodized, you know, and I thought that

18:29

I had to maybe adjoin

18:32

the club and start my own, shoot my own

18:34

Realty pilot. That's right. Uh, which I was going

18:36

to do, and then I thought maybe I need

18:38

to look like these, uh, very attractive women. I

18:41

was going to get a total face change. And

18:43

we, we know that, boy,

18:46

my, my, my gentleman here, um, my

18:48

husband... You gotta call him your gentleman friend.

18:50

Do you remember my name? That's

18:53

gotta happen sometimes, right? You

18:55

married? You blank on your spouse's name?

18:57

I was gonna say my boys, but that felt weird,

19:00

you know, because it's you and Doug, and that's what

19:02

I call my boys. I mean, that's what I call

19:04

my actual sons, Matt and... Radiophonic.

19:06

Yes. And,

19:09

uh, so that's all I was going to say. They convinced me,

19:11

anyways, they convinced me that that was not something that they wanted.

19:14

They didn't want me to have a completely different face. I,

19:20

their, your reaction was very strong. I have to say, I

19:22

really didn't expect it. So, if a friend of

19:24

yours said, much less your, your,

19:26

your wife or your mother says, I'm going

19:29

to have an operation called a total face

19:31

change, it's, it's

19:33

alarming. And you don't want, you don't

19:35

want somebody that you care about to have a total face change. I

19:37

get, I have to say, I was very touched by that. I

19:39

really was. I really, I do think we put too

19:42

much emphasis on looks, you know, because it made me

19:44

realize that, you know, that, that, or wait, maybe we

19:46

do because you didn't want me to change my looks.

19:49

So maybe, maybe it may, what I'm saying is

19:51

I think I needed to look better. It

19:53

made me realize that we don't tell each other

19:55

that we like each other's faces. There

19:58

you go. That's what I was trying to say. I

20:00

don't really try me saying what I could. Infer that we

20:02

don't want you to change your face? Yes, Yes,

20:04

Yes. Ah, so so ah. At at

20:06

this point now I am, I still feel

20:08

like I need to be as switch into

20:11

it and sort of the role of mentor.

20:13

So there's a new moon. Lot of there's

20:15

a lot of young people who moved in

20:18

this year to become who they brushed into

20:20

town to become realtors. Yes, because we've had

20:22

a sort of a real L, lot of

20:24

people have left town to send. Ah, we

20:27

don't know why yet. No one here in

20:29

a Great Exits is there's been a strange

20:31

exodus and didn't evolve. No one is saying

20:34

why. All

20:36

these empty houses us and our and sell

20:38

lot of able these people coming is set

20:40

always people coming in or maybe have somebody

20:42

to the podcast I don't know do we

20:44

have fr reach. They did. You

20:46

see the people listen to us in a bunch of countries.

20:49

Oh yeah, Estonia as and number nine. I

20:51

believe we're number nine or to so it.

20:55

Was no of really who's ahead of

20:57

us who want to know. Who

21:01

did have a couple weeks that are

21:03

worth the we never got sunlight? I'm

21:05

sorry, yeah I remember the one. her

21:07

son has something to do all those

21:09

earlier in the years of. yeah yeah

21:11

yeah, those stairs. it was scary and

21:13

we. Don't we don't seems or we'll do

21:15

the times easier. Know it's

21:17

not remove unwanted months

21:20

and Israel Israel more.

21:22

We reserve the right to say it's still Marjah

21:24

less Dad started as an old saying where nobody

21:26

wanted the ah the old saying Well as I

21:29

wrote a check and I just keep on writing

21:31

that the old. Year just and. Men with

21:33

than it seems to the old month and then

21:35

as people I'm really them. As of the there

21:37

is a big apparatus and ah we don't know

21:40

why you. Know that here in a

21:42

great exits is there's been a strange exodus

21:44

and dignity falls. No one is saying why.

21:47

There's all these empty houses yes and and

21:50

sell lot of and all these people coming

21:52

is sent Always people coming in a meeting

21:54

somebody to the podcast I don't know do

21:56

we have Fr. reach. they

21:58

did you see the people listen to us bunch of different

22:00

countries? Oh yeah, Estonia

22:02

is number nine I believe. We're number

22:04

nine in Estonia? Who's ahead of us

22:07

I want to know. We did have

22:09

a couple weeks

22:14

there where it we never got

22:16

sunlight. I'm sorry? Yeah I remember that. I

22:19

wonder if that has something to do with

22:21

earlier in the year. Yeah yeah yeah that

22:24

was scary. It was scary and we don't do

22:26

we don't change our we don't do the time change here.

22:28

No no if anything sometimes

22:31

we won't change months. We reserve

22:33

the right to say it's still March. That

22:38

started as an old thing where nobody wanted the other

22:40

old thing where like oh I wrote a check and

22:42

I just keep on writing the old year and then

22:45

it changed to the old month

22:47

and then people really there was

22:49

a there was a big protest

22:52

about it. That's right. People just didn't

22:54

want to change months. They was

22:56

a bloody protest and people

22:58

were trampled by horses. Yes they were

23:01

but not and wild horses they weren't like police. No

23:03

how did they get there? Do

23:05

you think they were so

23:08

in by the noise? I mean

23:10

the police horses weren't so confused.

23:12

They were so confused. Poor horses.

23:14

Poor police horses. Why are

23:16

they still around? I'm truly in

23:19

the in the capacity in which they're still around you know

23:21

they should be set free. Yes exactly. Not

23:23

put down. No.

23:26

Although hey Cab.

23:29

Hey Hab. So

23:34

I yeah the darkness I think a lot of

23:36

people connected it to the incident which

23:39

is so long ago I don't see how they

23:41

could be connected but I

23:43

don't know it was a strange occurrence. It was.

23:45

It really was. Yeah it was pitch black. And

23:52

that's how supine lost your hair. No

23:54

during that during the darkness. That's what

23:56

caused it. No I didn't. Oh

23:59

yeah okay was it the the result of the darkness or the result

24:01

of the light coming back on? Well

24:04

that's when we know that the hair is gone. Yes.

24:07

So it must have happened during the dark.

24:13

So at this point there's a lot of people coming

24:15

in but they're young and they're green, they

24:17

don't know what they're doing, they need help

24:19

writing up descriptions of houses, they

24:21

need help putting the signs up. I mean they don't even know

24:23

how to put the signs up properly. They probably don't even have

24:26

a chocolate chip cookie recipe. They

24:28

don't have chocolate chip cookie recipes. And

24:31

so I figure maybe at this point I

24:33

can start, like I said, I've started a company which

24:37

is called... Hot

24:40

Realty Summer. Hot Realty Summer. Hot Realty

24:42

Summer. Hot Realty Summer. Realty

24:45

Company. Realty Company. Do

24:49

you regret that name? I sure do. Especially

24:52

number one because I can never remember it.

24:55

Right. Very embarrassing. You

24:57

refuse to look at your buck's lips. I do.

25:01

And so maybe I'm just turning over

25:03

a new leaf. Okay. Well

25:06

I think those young people could not ask for

25:08

a better mentor than Joan Pedestrian. That's very, very

25:10

kind. Well, that's the truth. I really appreciate

25:12

it. And so we'll just see.

25:16

We know I'm not going to be an improviser. Ah,

25:18

yeah. Yeah. Because I tried

25:20

that. I tried improvising songs at the Christmas Cabaret

25:22

and it went very poorly. I

25:25

blame your sons more for that. It is true. They

25:27

only shouted over everybody with very dirty

25:29

suggestions. Yeah. But

25:32

that's okay. You know, I could

25:34

try again. But

25:36

you know what? There's a lot of improv in

25:38

Realty, which I didn't even realize. Boy, that's true,

25:40

isn't it? Yeah. Because you do have to

25:42

think on your feet. You absolutely do. Well,

25:45

I mean I don't like to say that I like. Embellish, I think.

25:47

Oh, sure, sure, sure. Or if they find a problem you have to

25:49

put a positive spin on it. Yes.

25:53

Yes, the wiring is very old. It's

25:55

classic. It's classic as character. So

26:01

we'll just see. I don't know. Alright. Well,

26:03

Joan, I wish you the best of luck. Wait a minute. That's

26:06

what you say to the guests. I know, I know. Usually when

26:08

they think we think they're crazy. I know, which is every time.

26:12

Alright, Joan, but I think you're going to be great. Should we

26:14

go to a break? I think we should. Alright.

26:16

We will be back with a guest when the

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Oh, um, I mean, certainly not me. Yeah,

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I love the good things in life. Okay, sorry. Even though

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30:09

Hi there, it's Rosalie. I got a 10-ounce

30:11

bag of two-inch green rubber

30:13

bands. That's right, and I'm

30:16

charging $8 for them. I

30:19

am NOT, repeat, I'm not giving

30:21

this Ziploc bag here

30:23

full of green rubber bands. I'm

30:25

not giving it away for free.

30:27

Are you kidding me? Do you

30:29

know how many years it took

30:31

to collect and gather and save all

30:33

of these green rubber bands, and

30:36

then keep them hidden from my husband? You

30:39

are crazy. If you think that I'm

30:41

gonna just let you have them, I

30:44

mean, I'm sorry that this picture is out of focus

30:46

and fuzzy. I didn't have a lot of time. My

30:48

husband was at home, and I had to take it

30:51

out and take a picture so you guys could see

30:53

it. And then I had to put

30:55

it back right away so that he didn't see them, because he

30:57

doesn't want to see them. If he sees them, oh boy, oh

30:59

boy. It's just hard on him because, you

31:01

know, I think he's just jealous

31:04

of hobbies. So,

31:07

but I'm gonna get rid of this one. And

31:09

so if you don't already have

31:12

a whole bunch of rubber bands, just

31:14

more than you can deal with in

31:16

your junk drawer, if you don't have

31:18

that, then feel free to come pay

31:20

me money for rubber

31:22

bands that everyone gets surrounding

31:25

local newspaper that gets delivered to their

31:28

door every day. If you want to

31:30

just have them on your own, well,

31:32

get ready. Get ready for a life,

31:36

a 20-year sentence of

31:38

collecting them and hiding them from

31:40

a man who never followed

31:42

a dream. Come get them. And

31:51

welcome back to The Neighborhood. Listen,

31:54

we have a guest here, as we always

31:56

do. We scour the NeighborHap, the social networking

31:58

application for neighbors. neighborhoods. We look for interesting

32:00

posts so we can talk to the people

32:02

and get to know our neighbors better. And

32:05

if you see a post that maybe we've

32:07

missed, you can screenshot it and send it

32:09

to us sometime. Oh gosh, you get it

32:11

to take it. I would say take a

32:13

deep breath.

32:16

A what? Mortal May West? You

32:19

can take a screenshot and send

32:21

it to us at burtandjone@gmail.com and

32:23

we will read it on the

32:26

show. This one comes to us

32:28

from Chris. This is in the for sale and

32:30

free department. And Chris writes,

32:34

I just got a chicken dance Elmo on eBay

32:36

and while it appears to be in good shape,

32:38

it doesn't do the chicken dance. You

32:41

press his left toe and

32:44

he announces that he's about to do the chicken

32:46

dance but then he doesn't do it. Cute

32:48

toy for kids who are into Elmo and

32:52

don't have high expectations. Easy

32:55

foyer pickup in West Dig on Sequoia

32:57

Street. Please let me know which day

32:59

and time you can come pick it up and I'll leave it out for

33:01

you. I don't know how to

33:03

take photos with my cell phone so I'm just posting a pic

33:05

of me. And then it's a very pleasant pic

33:08

of this nice looking old lady. And

33:11

that's Chris. And we have Chris right

33:13

here in the studio today. Thank you.

33:15

Chris, how do you do? I'm okay.

33:17

I'm doing okay. Okay. Did you ask

33:19

me that? Yes,

33:21

I asked you how you're doing. Yes. Okay.

33:24

I wasn't sure if you said how or what. But

33:27

I'm doing okay. You thought maybe you said what

33:29

are you doing? Yeah, what are you doing? Oh,

33:31

okay. Are you asking me what am I doing?

33:33

No, I thought maybe he was asking me what

33:35

I was. This is a real who's on first

33:38

moment happening. Second base. Is that how

33:40

that works? It's pretty close. I think so. We're

33:42

just a base off. Chris,

33:45

well, first of all, and I see that you brought the

33:48

Elmo. Yeah. I think you even heard it doing

33:50

the chicken dance for a minute

33:53

there. But I

33:55

first want to know if

33:57

you know how to take a picture with

33:59

your cell phone. I am surprised that you were

34:01

able to upload a photo onto there. That would

34:03

be, to me, that's actually more complicated than just

34:05

taking a photo with your phone. Right.

34:08

Or just searching for a picture of kicking dad's elbow. That would

34:10

have been great. You know what? That would have been

34:12

worked too. It's allowed. How

34:15

do you do that? How do

34:17

you search for an image? How do you search

34:19

for an image? What he

34:21

just said? Yes. Yes. You

34:24

type a thing you want

34:26

to see a picture of into the search

34:28

bar. Okay. I'm already lost. Chris,

34:31

what? I don't know how phones. Chris, how

34:33

would you get on to the neighbor app? I don't know.

34:35

How would you want the neighbor app? My son helped me.

34:37

Oh, that's nice. Oh, that's very sweet.

34:39

What's his name? Andrew. Okay.

34:43

And is that your only child? Yes.

34:45

He doesn't talk to me anymore. Oh, no. Wait.

34:49

He just recently helped you. That was the last thing we did together. No.

34:51

What happened? Oh, we got into a big fight.

34:53

I was just so angry that I

34:56

didn't like the way he was talking to me

34:58

and telling me how because

35:00

he's like, you can do this on your own and I got so mad. But

35:03

wait a minute. This doesn't sound like one of those sort

35:05

of penultimate

35:07

fights that just make you

35:09

never speak again. No. I

35:11

mean, he's going to talk to you again, right? I don't know. We have

35:14

so many fights. This is our,

35:16

this is our, this childhood in my adulthood. Maybe.

35:21

Was there more to that? Or just

35:23

his, you said his childhood in my adulthood

35:25

and then what? Full stop. Well,

35:28

that's when he was a child, we fought. Now I'm going

35:30

to fight. So this is just going to be going on.

35:32

Fighting is in his childhood and all of your adulthood. I

35:34

think this is the way we communicate. Oh, dear. Yes.

35:37

Well, I said he'll be back. How old is he now?

35:40

He's 39. And is

35:42

the, is his father still in the picture? Is it

35:44

okay to ask? I said he was my child.

35:46

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

35:48

No, you're right. I'm a woman. I'm a woman.

35:51

I even got confused. I listen to the picture. Forgive

35:53

me. In the picture, I'm

35:55

a woman. I'm a woman. I'm a woman.

35:57

In the picture. In the picture. We weren't

35:59

sure. and you present it as a...

36:01

you let us know. You look exactly like

36:03

the picture. You let us know. The reason, listen,

36:05

I'll be honest about everything. A lot of people

36:08

just think I'm a man when I go out

36:10

and talk to them. Really? You

36:12

know that, right? I've done that. I'm a

36:14

very handsome woman. Okay. You are a

36:16

very handsome woman. Like going close. Isn't that what they

36:19

always say about her? Is it? Yes,

36:21

especially when she played Albert Dobbs. Yes. Oh,

36:23

right. I love that movie. Wonderful

36:25

movie. Oh,

36:27

really? Oh my goodness. The

36:30

movie, the Mackenzie Washington? Oh, no, the original with Walter

36:32

Macau. What's a cow? What a dramatic

36:34

person. Walter Macau. If you're only

36:36

familiar, exactly. I know. It really is. Now

36:39

what happens if I say to you Walter

36:42

Macau? Working a charm. I've never heard it

36:44

pronounced like that. Amazing.

36:47

All right. So don't you be clear. Can

36:49

I ask about his dad now? Sure. Okay.

36:52

Is he still in the picture? Yes. Oh,

36:54

okay. He's a traveling guy. He's a

36:56

traveling guy. Oh, okay. He's a

36:58

traveling salesman. Really? Yes. What

37:01

does he sell? Pillows. Okay. He

37:04

travels around and sells pillows. It's amazing. It's such an

37:06

old fashioned job. Yes. He's

37:08

been doing it since we met. Door to

37:10

door. How is he doing? Door to door.

37:13

He knocks on door. Right. No.

37:16

Does he sell a lot? I mean, is this? No, but

37:18

I can't tell him to stop. He has nothing. Oh, good.

37:21

I gotta be bad. He has nothing. I mean, he

37:23

has you and Andrew. Oh, he has me and Andrew. Okay. How

37:26

often do you see him? My husband or Andrew? Well,

37:29

right now we know you don't see Andrew. How often do

37:31

you see your husband? What's his name? My

37:33

husband's name is Charles. Okay. Charles.

37:37

Charles. Is that, am I doing

37:39

that right? Perfect. Charles. Charles.

37:42

Yes. He's so interesting to me. He's

37:44

really- I love him. Oh,

37:46

wow. That's fascinating. In addition to having this

37:49

arcade job. And this incredible

37:51

pronunciation of his name. That name, yes. He's

37:54

just a great storyteller. I can sit

37:56

and be in wrapped with Charles. Charles

38:00

telling stories about most anything. He

38:02

has a very booming voice. He

38:06

must think I'm a great salesman. Yes,

38:10

he knocks on the door. Can I imitate

38:12

my husband? Oh, Liz, of course. He's allowed.

38:14

I don't know what's allowed anymore. We've had

38:16

all kinds on this show. This time of

38:18

day. This time of day.

38:20

That we're all living in. Is it night a.m.? Yes.

38:25

Oh, well. I've been up for hours. She

38:28

could have been midnight by now. I don't know.

38:31

I don't know. Well, given that we had

38:33

that darkness a while ago. That was very scary.

38:35

That woman got her head shaved halfway. supine.

38:41

supine. Wonderful.

38:44

Lovely word. Did you see it on Jeopardy

38:46

this week? Yes, my husband does it. Are

38:49

you kidding me? I'm it right

38:51

now. You supine. The whole

38:53

category was supine. I'll

38:56

take supine for a thousand. All

38:59

the answers. And

39:01

then he wanted to be able to then

39:03

go in the room and then have the

39:05

answer be something where you'd have

39:07

to ask what is Doug like and

39:09

that would be it was just supine. I felt like that

39:11

category. I

39:14

don't feel like it had enough for you know,

39:17

how what is it like eight clues,

39:19

six clues. Right. I remember the

39:22

host saying if

39:24

you are if you are you are

39:26

supine, if you are laying this way.

39:30

And what is down? What

39:33

about you laying up its face up? Well,

39:36

what about the video? Oh, yeah. The video. What

39:39

was it again? Oh, it was just some

39:41

woman saying I am supine

39:43

right now. And you have to say

39:45

who is Victoria. I

39:50

don't know who she doing. That was

39:52

wild. That was wild. That was for

39:55

five thousand dollars. I would

39:57

say I knew who it was. I knew who she was. I

39:59

watched that. Alice. Sure. The

40:02

one where it was just a body and a

40:04

casket. That

40:06

was grim. Instead,

40:09

what is the tag? I'd

40:12

never seen this on Japanese before. They removed

40:14

it from the board. Because

40:16

that one doesn't count. It's a do-over. Everybody gets

40:18

100. It's a Japanese do-over.

40:20

And the Daily Double was, this

40:24

person lost their hair in Dignity Falls

40:26

during the darkness. And the answer was,

40:28

again, supine. That's right. And

40:30

nobody got it. Nobody got it. I got it

40:32

at home. Of course. Why wouldn't

40:34

you? Of course. Screaming at the TV.

40:36

Oh my goodness. Screaming at the...

40:38

Alright. I feel first we're getting off. I want

40:41

to get that spiel from your husband. Yeah, my husband. When he

40:43

knocks on the door. Yes. Charles.

40:46

Charles. Charles. Charles.

40:49

Is anybody home? And

40:51

then someone usually has to do it again because no one

40:53

does it. I know. Who does

40:55

this anymore? Also, if I heard that, I'd be... Am

40:59

I being visited by the first ghost? Yes.

41:02

I didn't think I was that bad. I need to be part

41:04

of a lesson. It was appropriate in the 50s when he did

41:06

that. That's a long time ago. That's a long time ago. It

41:08

is. But it's a blink of an

41:10

eye. It's sad to think people of the 50s were

41:12

just slaves to the phone, to the doorbell. And

41:14

I've been out. You could not. And I've been

41:16

out. And the what? And I's without

41:18

one. And I's without one. We were all slaves to ice

41:20

and hell. We were all too

41:22

young, but I was a slave to ice and hell.

41:24

Oh, I mean... I was a very sexy

41:27

person. Was that weird to say? I was a war hero?

41:29

I'm not sure I could say if it's weird to say.

41:31

Bald heads. I just go crazy.

41:33

You liked Ike. I liked Ike. Oh, excuse

41:35

me. Chris, are you okay? Okay, Chris. I

41:37

said never better. All right. Let's

41:40

get back to this field. So how does it go

41:42

again? Is anybody home? Ask my husband's voice. Eventually

41:44

they answer the door. They say, hello. Hello. I

41:47

am... I'm not sure. I'm

41:49

not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not

41:51

sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

41:53

I'm not sure. Hello. I

41:56

am... Charles, do

41:58

you need pillows? Everyone needs a... and he'll just

42:00

talk until they stop it. He doesn't even let them

42:02

answer if they need pillows. I would

42:04

imagine they would say, I know, because most people have

42:07

pillows in the home. Oh, and he sticks his foot

42:09

in the door so they can close it. Oh

42:11

my goodness. His foot is not working well because

42:13

it's been slammed on so many times. He just

42:15

tells a story and they become so enwrapped by

42:17

it. What's the story that he tells with the

42:19

history of pillows? Yeah, we'll go

42:21

into pillows. This is why you need pillows. If

42:24

you have headaches, and who doesn't? Oh, well. Especially

42:26

in this time. Sure. Who

42:28

doesn't have headaches? You need pillows? Everybody does.

42:31

Do you have headaches? Of course you do. Did

42:34

he? Oh! Do

42:36

we know who the first person was to have

42:38

a headache? Joe does. The very first person to

42:40

have a headache. It was a woman. We

42:43

know that. It was a woman named

42:45

Gloria. How would they have Gloria? She was a

42:47

Roman. Do you know they never had headaches before

42:49

the Roman? Not until the Roman Empire. No.

42:52

There was nothing to upset anybody about. But

42:54

then they got lead in their water and

42:56

everyone was obsessed. Absolutely. They got a headache.

42:59

Yeah. Poor girl. Poor Gloria.

43:01

Those damn aqueducts. Those damn aqueducts.

43:03

Now Chris, okay. Let me, I

43:05

mean there's so many things, but.

43:07

Oh, God. So Andrew, I set

43:10

up this post for you. I have to ask you, was

43:13

there any mention on the eBay listing that the Chicken

43:15

Dance Elmo did not work? No. It

43:18

said it absolutely worked. Well, did you try to

43:20

get a refund? I did. You said

43:22

it absolutely worked. It absolutely worked. I

43:25

didn't want to hear that. This is why my son and I fight. I didn't

43:27

want to hear about eyesight. Oh, I think you just made those sounds at the

43:29

end. So just those other ones. Excuse me. I

43:31

am Trent. Chris. Chris.

43:34

Sorry. Sorry. Children

43:36

might listen to this. I'm sorry for the

43:38

children. I am too. Children turn off. So

43:40

please explain. Children turn off. I'm sorry. I'm

43:43

sorry. I'm sorry. I'm

43:45

sorry. I'm sorry. I'm

43:47

sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

43:50

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

43:53

I'm sorry. Children turn off. Turn

43:55

off right now. So what? Children

43:57

turn off. Turn yourself off. Children

44:00

turn off! That's what

44:03

they... The Tiffany song. Yes, the Tiffany

44:05

song! That was the original... I think

44:07

we're alone now. I think we're alone

44:09

now. Oh, I thought you were doing like,

44:11

turn on your heart. What is that song called?

44:13

Turn on your heart. Oh, the wonderful

44:15

Neil Diamond song about E.T. The wonderful

44:18

unlicensed E.T. tribute. Don't

44:20

you wish Neil Diamond... No one asked him to do that. No

44:22

one. I wish Neil Diamond

44:24

did a song for every movie and

44:26

was never asked. Absolutely! Any movie. Harry

44:28

and the Headersons. This is another term

44:30

of my endearment. Only

44:34

80s movies itself. Only

44:36

80s movies. Oh, we're out of

44:39

Africa. Like

44:43

he went into a store and asked

44:45

for Africa. And the person said, oh,

44:47

we're out of Africa. And of course,

44:49

you know, so many of the Bond ones are like

44:51

that, but there was not an octopussy song did not

44:53

have the word in it, but it really should

44:55

have. Babe, what was the song? I

44:57

think it was, um, Oh, now

44:59

I can't remember because you asked me, Chris. Was

45:01

Sheena Easton... Was it called Squiddick? No.

45:04

Squiddick. Burns! Babe,

45:06

can you look it up? That's it. We

45:08

were all signed. Wait, was that Sheena or was it Laura

45:10

Branigan? It was Rita Coolidge. Oh, okay. Laura Branigan. I don't

45:13

think she did a Bond theme. I do miss her. Did

45:15

she just go cry out loud? No, that's Melissa Manchester. She

45:17

did Gloria. Oh, she did Gloria.

45:19

Wasn't that the woman? She was the woman. She was

45:21

the woman. She was the woman. She was

45:23

the woman. She was the woman. She

45:25

was the woman. Was that the woman

45:27

from the Roman Empire? Yes, it was. The one who

45:30

got the headache. Yes, she was about her. Oh my

45:32

God. We need to look up the lyrics. I didn't

45:34

know there was a history song. Wait, do you mean

45:36

G-L-O-R-I-A? No. No. Absolutely

45:39

not. I don't know what that was. That's them.

45:42

Oh, that's one of Rhubarb Caravan's bestievists? Oh, that's Doug's band. Was

45:45

Gloria actually a song about

45:47

a headache? I'm not sure. Gloria, I

45:49

think I've got your number. Gloria,

45:52

if everybody wants on you, why

45:54

isn't anybody calling? Because

45:56

she has a headache. She has not to. And she's in

45:59

the Roman Empire. and they don't have phones.

46:01

I'm not sure. Well, okay. Perhaps.

46:04

Chris, you've cracked it. Chris, I really want to know why you wanted to

46:06

sell Mo. Yes. Look,

46:09

I'm in a book club. Okay. Can

46:11

I say that? All right. Yes. These

46:14

are not controversial things. Let's see. I'm very

46:16

concerned that I started it and I'm very concerned. Oh, you started the

46:18

book club? I did. But you say it like

46:20

you started a fire. Very

46:23

apologetically you said I started it. Well,

46:25

I just feel like book clubs are...

46:28

This is why. I think book clubs are things that

46:30

people say they want to be in and then when

46:33

someone starts it they're like, it's a bumble to every

46:35

law. Everyone gets in the way. I'm an adult and

46:37

now I have homework. Yes. And then we

46:39

talk about it. And no one has read it

46:41

and you try to fake it. You do it and then we have to

46:43

have cheese. But I was losing

46:45

people and I was losing people and

46:47

I was like, I got to get this to be

46:49

more entertaining. So I was looking

46:52

for... So I thought

46:54

I'd order. I thought, well, maybe if we got

46:56

some Elmo chicken dance. Okay, now wait a minute.

46:58

It was the very first thing. It was the

47:00

very first thing. But

47:03

again, we've established that you don't really know how

47:06

to search Google. I don't know how. You

47:08

did know how to type in Elmo

47:10

chicken dance. How did you even know that was a thing?

47:13

Oh, that's a good question. Oh, yeah. But that is a

47:15

good question too. How are you aware of chicken dance so

47:17

much? There's good questions all around. I have a chance of

47:20

chicken dance, Elmo. Oh.

47:23

You know. That's really great. That's

47:25

really great. I'm

47:28

going to get weird to strap in. Okay.

47:30

I'm psychic. Wow. I

47:33

believe in this 150 percent. I

47:37

had a dream. What? I think you're

47:39

going to have to let us know about that. 150 percent? Is

47:42

that what you said? I said 150 percent. But the

47:44

last part of it got jumbled. What was the last

47:46

part? I'm very elder. Yes, of course you are. I'm

47:48

a beautiful older woman. You're a handsome older woman. You're

47:50

a handsome older woman. I'm a beautiful older woman. I'm

47:52

a beautiful older woman. I'm a beautiful older woman. You're

47:54

a handsome older woman. You're a handsome older woman. Yes,

47:56

sorry. Thanks for the correction. I'm

47:59

handsome. I'm a handsome woman.

48:01

Is that a compliment? I do think so.

48:03

I really do. If someone told you you

48:05

were handsome, would you say thank you? You

48:07

know what? I think it's better in old age than

48:09

younger age. Absolutely. And I'm old. Right. So I think it's

48:11

good for you. When I was young, I was very confused

48:13

by it. You're a handsome woman. Oh, you got it as

48:15

a young woman, too. I've bought it since I was a

48:17

baby. Oh, a handsome baby. Since I had the baby. Your

48:20

son is handsome, and my parents would like, thank

48:23

you. They were embarrassed. Oh, I'm sorry. And I

48:25

know. Oh, they wouldn't say it's a little girl.

48:27

They would just go along with it. They'd say,

48:29

oh, my boy is handsome. And

48:33

then they'd see the vagina to be all over.

48:35

Oh, now why is that? Why did that happen?

48:39

You know, they didn't change. I'm

48:42

sorry. Oh, no. It's getting very

48:44

emotional. I'm sorry.

48:46

It's getting very emotional. I'm sorry.

48:48

In public. No. Out of overcome.

48:52

Out of overcome. That's how it

48:54

goes. Out of overcome. Yeah. I'm

48:56

not going to come here. Sorry, Chris, to bring

48:58

this up. I didn't mean. It's a memory that

49:01

I forgot about. I'm sorry. Where are we? Most

49:03

people don't remember being changed as a baby.

49:05

Well, most people aren't psychic. Right.

49:08

You've got that X percent. I got you there. Yeah. I

49:10

got you there. Yeah. So now, do you. Okay.

49:12

That a dream. And in

49:14

my dream, a ghost came to her.

49:17

Oh, now. Okay. Said Elmo.

49:20

Chicken dance. Buy it.

49:22

That's it. That's all

49:24

it said. I said to my son. No, is that

49:26

being psychic or is that just a dream? How do you. What

49:28

does that have to do with you being psychic? All I know is that

49:31

all I know is all I know. And

49:33

then I said to my son, I had this dream

49:35

and he knows what they mean. The same thing psychic

49:37

happens. So he looked it up. Okay. And he found

49:39

it. And he found it

49:41

on the internet. Can you describe the ghost

49:44

forest, Chris? Sure. Oh,

49:47

it looks like I have an hour. Oh, yes.

49:50

Very. That makes sense. That makes

49:52

sense. Oh, God. Very.

49:54

I'm sorry. I brought it up. I'm sorry. It

49:56

was a translucent version of ice. Oh, wow. You

49:58

can see through them. Casper the friendly

50:01

Eisenhower. I've been Howard the friendly?

50:04

Yes, Casper the friendly. Yes, Eisenhower

50:06

the friendly. I've been

50:08

Howard the friendly ghost, I would say. I don't

50:10

know what Casper the friendly, I've been Howard me.

50:12

It was Casper translucent. No, I don't

50:15

think he was. Well, it

50:17

just depends. My memory of him is very

50:19

solid. I feel like he was translucent when it was useful to

50:21

the story. Do

50:24

you know what I'm saying? Yes, exactly.

50:27

You can make yourself invisible. I have not seen the

50:29

Devin Sawa film, but I bet in that movie he

50:31

was translucent because they had more money for

50:33

the effects. Was that a person's

50:35

name? Devin Sawa. I'm just not familiar.

50:38

Was that the director? No,

50:40

that was the young boy who

50:42

played Casper. Oh, how do you

50:44

know these things? There's a certain

50:46

age woman to whom this

50:49

is younger than me, but to whom

50:51

this age, this

50:57

movie is very important to them. Oh,

51:00

okay. Very important to them. And

51:03

then because of the end, he briefly becomes a

51:05

real live boy. Oh, thank you. And then there's

51:07

Devin Sawa and then all the girls who

51:10

were watching this, they got very excited. About

51:12

a ghost in boy form. Yes.

51:14

Sort of a reverse Pinocchio. Yes,

51:17

exactly, if you like. Also, I just wanted

51:19

to say, when the nose goes

51:22

in, I'm often... No! Yeah,

51:24

go like... Out the back

51:26

of his head. When

51:28

he tells the truth. Wait,

51:36

it's not really a reverse Pinocchio because Pinocchio also became

51:38

a real boy. Yes, at the end he didn't become

51:40

a boy at the end. Yes, he did. Oh,

51:43

that's right. Because it's not a reverse Pinocchio. Casper

51:45

goes back to being a ghost in

51:47

the movie. Okay, that's the reverse Pinocchio of it all. He's

51:50

dead. Yeah, he is. But I never really thought of him as

51:52

the ghost of a little boy. He looks so

51:55

cartoonish to me. I know. You

51:57

know? That's interesting. It's dark.

52:00

The child died and they made a cartoon about

52:02

it. Interesting. We

52:06

never thought about it, did we? It

52:08

was children, it was just rejected. Well, there's also a very

52:10

terrifying Disney live action movie called Child of

52:12

Glass. Has anyone heard of it? No,

52:15

a child made of glass. Oh, it's terrifying. No, but it's

52:17

not really that. It's a ghost. It is a

52:19

dead child. What I want to say is an

52:21

outdoor barn or something. Not only indoor ones?

52:25

I lived in an indoor barn for three years. Did

52:28

you really? I do not recommend it. Was

52:30

this with your husband? No, he was gone. They

52:32

were in the television. Oh, sure, Johnny. Then

52:34

when he came back, it felt like a

52:36

parade. Oh, wait,

52:41

now parades are getting the same reaction as I said.

52:45

Oh, yes. I love parades. Am

52:47

I the first person to ever say that? You were

52:49

the first time and the first person ever to say

52:51

that. Never say I love parades and

52:53

time. You're the first person to say you

52:55

love all parades. I think some people say I love a parade.

52:58

I love all. If there's a

53:00

parade, I'm all for it. You like a pharmacist parade? Does

53:02

he have every year? I love the parade when they're just

53:04

throwing pills in the air and white coats. There's

53:11

nothing more attractive than a pharmacist to

53:13

me except for us. You're

53:16

aware that Bert is a pharmacist, right? I'm very

53:18

aware. What's

53:20

your husband's name? Charles.

53:24

I forgot. I'm so sorry. I forgot. I'm

53:27

so sorry. I forgot. That's all right.

53:30

So wait a minute. So you received this. What

53:32

did I receive? You received I guess

53:35

a psychic reading or

53:37

something about it. It was just a dream. It was

53:39

a dream. I don't know what you call them. A vision? I

53:42

guess what I want to say is how

53:44

often. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on a second.

53:46

There is a word. The word, forget it.

53:48

Premonition. Oh, OK. Premonition. It

53:52

said it told me to do it and I didn't and

53:54

it exists. Who would have thought that those two things of

53:57

those connected Elmo and her condition. I just don't know. I

53:59

just don't know. So then how long have

54:01

you had it? When did you get it?

54:03

Were you happy with it? Did it improve

54:05

your book club? Okay. These are

54:07

a lot of questions. Number one,

54:09

I got it one month ago.

54:12

Okay. Number two, very unhappy

54:14

with it, which is why I posted. It didn't

54:16

work. Oh yeah, that's right. Sorry, sorry, sorry. And

54:18

this is the first time I've been upset at

54:20

a Sesame Street character, by the way. That's

54:23

a side note. Okay. I'm not

54:25

happy with the whole Sesame Street thing. Oh. Let's

54:28

explore. You want to talk about it? Can I

54:30

answer that third question? I think so. And I've

54:32

already forgotten what it was. Oh, the book club thing. Well,

54:34

obviously the answer is no. I forgot that it was broken.

54:36

No, this is what the, this is the stakes

54:38

of the whole thing. The book

54:40

club is coming up in a few days and I

54:42

don't know if I'm going to lose members. Oh, you

54:44

haven't had it for a month. You only have it once a month? I

54:47

postponed it. I said I had bad

54:49

illness. I don't want to give anybody. But

54:52

this was because the chicken delts almost did not work.

54:54

I've got to think about what to do. Of course.

54:56

Of course. All right. So what

54:58

did I, Sesame Street? No. You

55:01

have a problem with all of them, you said? A lot of them.

55:03

A lot of them. A lot of issues with S. S. S. Street.

55:05

Like what? I don't believe

55:07

a bird could be that tall. Okay.

55:09

Well. I

55:11

don't know why we can't say what Bernd

55:14

and Ernie really are. Oh.

55:17

Does someone need to live in a trash can

55:19

and tell mean mean things? I hear you on

55:21

that one. I have that. I have. Thank

55:24

you. I don't need to be told mean things.

55:26

But children just seem to love that grouchiness.

55:28

They love it when someone isn't.

55:31

Because they think it's the naughty part, right?

55:33

It's like, oh, that guy's not nice. He's

55:35

a negative example. He's a negative example. And

55:37

the kids get delighted that someone's acting out,

55:39

you know? No, no repercussions for us.

55:42

No, there's no lessons. There's nothing. Whatever

55:44

he wants. He sure does. He's like

55:46

Dennis the Menace's neighbor, Mr. Mitchell. Also

55:49

played by Walter Methow. Mr. Wilson. Mr. Wilson

55:51

was as a... I think that was played

55:54

by Walter Mathau. Dennis Mitchell. I

55:57

think it was played by Walter Mathau. That's right. There

55:59

is so much. I love the pronunciation. Oh, it made him

56:01

laugh. Dennis' last name was Michelle. I'm a she.

56:03

I'm sorry, it made her laugh. I told you,

56:06

this is the problem I've had so long. Because

56:08

she got so upset, like when I call... I'm

56:10

sorry. I know. She's just a

56:12

very handsome woman. A very handsome woman. A

56:14

very handsome woman. Okay, so... So, the Sesame

56:17

Street aside, one

56:19

of the most galling things about this group... Galling?

56:22

Well, you'll see where I'm at. I think I'll be pleased.

56:25

Oh, good. Is that the

56:28

idea that you press the foot, he

56:30

announces he's going to do the dance... Yes. And

56:33

then doesn't do it. No, he doesn't do it. That's...

56:36

If it were just you press the foot and he does the dance...

56:38

No. And it didn't work, that would be

56:40

one thing. But the fact that he says, now I'm going to

56:42

do the chicken dance, and then it doesn't happen. Press

56:45

the left foot is what it said. Yes, the left foot said, I'm going to do

56:47

the... I don't do elbows, folks. And I won't. Oh,

56:49

you don't, because you were very good at doing your husband's voice. I mean, I

56:51

don't know, I've never met him, but... Well, that's my husband. I love

56:53

him. I believe you. And I love doing his

56:55

voice. Oh. Oh. Such

56:58

a sensual person, Chris. Thank you. You should have seen

57:00

me when I was young. Oh, boy. I walked around

57:02

town, just moaning. Listen to that. On Eisenhower Street? Oh,

57:04

I couldn't walk down. Oh, that's right. You're probably going

57:06

to be a bit near it. Oh, now it's warm.

57:09

I was... Look, I had to stay off... You seem

57:11

a sign. Oh, that's

57:13

right. Oh, that's right. Oh, now it's warm. Oh,

57:15

now it's warm. It's near it. Look, I had

57:18

to stay off... You seem a sign. I

57:21

had to stay off Eisenhower

57:23

Street, because if I walked, I'd be

57:25

slipping and sliding. Slipping

57:28

and sliding. Okay. Oh.

57:32

Children turn off. We got... Oh, children

57:34

turn off. Anyway, what was I saying? So the book

57:36

club. You postponed it. That's not what I was saying,

57:38

but... No, you were talking about... You were telling me...

57:41

Well, you had said the most galling thing is that

57:43

he now thinks he's going to do it, and then

57:45

he doesn't. I don't remember what happened after that. He pressed

57:47

the button. He says, I'm going to do it. He just

57:49

collapses over. Oh, hello. I thought he

57:51

just... Oh, he didn't do something. Nothing happened, but he

57:53

collapses? I'm not even sure that the mechanism

57:56

is supposed to do that. I don't think... It

57:58

fell over in a puddle of nothing. But

58:01

nothing, did he regain his form

58:03

again or no? He laughed at

58:05

me. What? Then he started

58:07

laughing. Oh I don't think that's what's

58:09

happened. I

58:11

pressed the button, Elmo goes, now

58:14

I'm going, oh no you haven't!

58:16

That's not bad. It's pretty good.

58:18

It's very good. I'm going to do whatever.

58:20

I'm going to do the chicken chest. I just

58:22

know he's doing sort of a red, she's doing,

58:24

just so you know, she's doing sort of a

58:26

red rum thing with her finger. The

58:29

finger represents Elmo. To

58:34

me he's basically the Chinese. Now

58:36

I'm like, do the chicken dance.

58:42

Ball's laid it, balls are made of that

58:45

fart noise. And

58:47

then laser giggling. That's

58:49

horrifying. This reminds me

58:51

of, it's putting me in mind of

58:53

the little twerking skeleton doll. I'm

58:55

sorry, the what? This

58:59

was a viral clip a few years ago. Oh

59:01

my goodness. And it's

59:03

a YouTube, I believe it's a YouTube video under

59:06

the heading of possessed

59:08

doll. So this

59:10

is like a Halloween decoration that is supposed to

59:12

do a little dance to a song and

59:16

then it just starts going crazy. Oh

59:18

my word. And people are convinced it's

59:20

possessed and they start rebuking Satan at

59:23

it and saying I cast you

59:25

out. I'm not here about it. Annabelle. But this

59:27

does have that aspect. You get scared? How

59:29

long did it last? When you know who's the worst Chris?

59:31

You don't know the word Robert. Robert's a doll. Who's Robert? He's

59:34

a haunted doll. He wears a sailor

59:36

suit and that's stolen valor. I've

59:39

never heard of such a thing. You're

59:42

the sole of the troops? Terrible.

59:45

Well I'm insulted. And to Eisenhower. Oh

59:47

boy. He was an army. He was

59:49

an army. General. He warned

59:51

about that. How long did the Elmo, what? He

59:55

warned about the military industrial complex. Yes

59:57

he did. Then he warned about Elmo.

1:00:00

He's too big warning. Yes.

1:00:04

The industrial complex and Elmo. He

1:00:08

knew about it. That's

1:00:11

why he had a shaved head. So

1:00:14

more room for him. More

1:00:16

hair? He was way ahead

1:00:18

of his eye. He was braided from the

1:00:21

outside. He

1:00:23

actually had a very thick head of

1:00:25

hair. But you shaved his head so

1:00:27

that his brain could work at full

1:00:30

capacity. Because that hair would have weighed it down. I

1:00:32

don't know. I don't know enough

1:00:34

about the science. You do know now. You

1:00:38

know now. Oh, I do know now.

1:00:41

I want to know how long the Elmo laughed and if

1:00:43

it's happened since. Because I... Yes?

1:00:46

Yes, I will tell you. Okay. A

1:00:48

deal has been struck.

1:00:51

The laugh is a good 45 minutes. What

1:00:55

45 minutes? No, absolutely not. It

1:00:58

goes up and down. It's horrifying. You keep thinking

1:01:00

it's going to end. Right. Like it's like... Okay.

1:01:04

Something's wrong with that. No, that's not okay. Is

1:01:06

he laughing like he's laughing at something that he just...

1:01:09

As if tears are streaming down his face and then he thinks

1:01:11

he's done and then he thinks about it again and he starts

1:01:13

laughing all over again. Is it one of those? A

1:01:15

little bit. It's more of a mocking thing. Oh,

1:01:17

for 45 minutes. Yes. Wow.

1:01:21

Okay. Did you take the batteries out? No.

1:01:23

I didn't know. See, this is why I

1:01:26

need you around. Me? What? I

1:01:29

think you're... I'm so surprised. I forgot. See,

1:01:32

I should have started with this at the beginning of

1:01:34

the show. Yeah, this is why you came. New information.

1:01:36

Will you come live with me? I wanted to ask

1:01:38

you. Chris, I will go. Chris, I need... My son

1:01:41

won't come back. He'll be back. Whoa!

1:01:44

I mean, why... Chris, why me? I just

1:01:46

enjoy you. Oh, please. I think you're a delightful

1:01:48

woman. Do you listen to our... Paga, are you

1:01:50

just familiar with me because of my real... I

1:01:54

listen to your podcast. I study

1:01:56

your real estate stuff. I'm so flattered.

1:01:59

You should be A... The huge fan of nice

1:02:01

if you're a wonderful actress. So

1:02:03

every time you're on Cnn Dignity

1:02:05

false I always cry only to

1:02:07

my what the promotional once I

1:02:10

can see you you know Walter

1:02:12

Matthau story and I will cry

1:02:14

either from the sadness or from

1:02:16

last or oh awesome anger. Oh

1:02:18

who was like a New Year

1:02:20

period of your tears See I

1:02:22

years I knew I had endured

1:02:24

how years moves uses come over

1:02:26

to my of what my Alma

1:02:28

you might flight ser. Algo say he

1:02:31

was your own of of us. my

1:02:33

elbow out of a sweaty with the

1:02:35

border global happening and I don't know

1:02:37

what to do. The Way less obsessed.

1:02:39

Hub is coming on okay I know no

1:02:41

to do to entertain them now. I

1:02:44

see many other options and just said

1:02:46

chicken Dance Elmo that that Enter T

1:02:48

headline says mentally dreams is. Hold me

1:02:50

Women: Who is who? Us: Why does

1:02:52

you assume I'm assuming that I have

1:02:55

some men in my book club to?

1:02:57

I'm sorry. You Are absolutely right.

1:02:59

Demented remained a breakdown of albums that tell

1:03:02

you how many people in the book club

1:03:04

at this seventy seven during towed in using.

1:03:07

His was that there's Celeste

1:03:10

there's an hour is Billy

1:03:12

Bob Okay, there's who built

1:03:14

bar in the bar Bill

1:03:16

A Bar Buses cc this

1:03:18

the need for. Ah okay,

1:03:20

there's Henry. There's Henry. Two.

1:03:23

Of us As soon as I. Guess

1:03:25

I think the best Members: Seven I six. I

1:03:27

was a people's. Is

1:03:29

maybe to see people in our gloating

1:03:32

for two hundred is that will as

1:03:34

soon as an hour And Henry Henry

1:03:36

to is one person to personality oh

1:03:38

we're supposed to care for it. Never

1:03:40

fails every month Henry to buy Barboza

1:03:43

Yes to both of us as a

1:03:45

thank you. The. Fun though. Both

1:03:47

of them. Well, that's good. It's. a

1:03:52

sudden this is this subject premonition you had

1:03:54

might just be a dream unless can you

1:03:57

tell me about other think why do you

1:03:59

think you're saying Why? What? Well,

1:04:03

what are some other instances of your psychic? Yes, that's

1:04:05

why. I guess that's how I need to get a

1:04:07

word in. That's always a dream where a ghost comes

1:04:09

in. See, I'm not... Okay. Why?

1:04:12

I've never heard of that being... I thought that being

1:04:14

psychic meant, you know, you touch someone's hand, you can

1:04:16

see that something happened in their lives. You walk into

1:04:18

a room, you can feel the aura, you know that

1:04:20

something happened. I haven't heard of being psychic. It's just

1:04:22

a ghost tells you something in a dream. Can

1:04:24

you think of a word I'm thinking of? That's

1:04:26

psychic. Well, that's not me. I'm telling you...

1:04:28

He's not that kind of psychic, babe. I'm trying to figure out what

1:04:30

kind of... Can I take a shot at it? I'll try. But

1:04:33

you go ahead. No, you go ahead. What? Dandruff.

1:04:37

Was it dandruff? I'm

1:04:39

not sure it was. No, that's actually not it. What's

1:04:41

your guess for it? Let me... Let

1:04:43

me use that. No, wait, this is exactly what happened. See, this is

1:04:45

why I don't like psychics. You see what he's doing? He's just trying

1:04:47

to pull apart... I'm a see, and I don't know how many times. Why are

1:04:50

you doing this? Why are you doing this? This

1:04:52

is what he's doing. No, please,

1:04:54

Chris. No, this is what she's doing, which is a lot of what

1:04:56

psychics do, is that they sort of pull

1:05:00

apart the word and just try to get

1:05:03

to anything that might make you say, oh, that's right.

1:05:07

She's right. Is

1:05:09

there a J in your life? Is there a J in your name? How

1:05:11

about an M? Oh, P. Is there

1:05:13

a house in your life? Is there a car? Was it something with

1:05:15

Dan in it, though? Was it something with Dan in it? I don't

1:05:18

know. I don't know. I don't know.

1:05:20

I don't know. Was it

1:05:22

something with Dan in it? I'm sorry, but not at

1:05:24

all. There was supine, right? Yes. Yeah,

1:05:26

there was supine. I think we all know it was supine.

1:05:28

That's what I was thinking. Supine is so close to dandruff.

1:05:31

But I do. I am having dandruff

1:05:33

problems. Well, that's what I was thinking

1:05:35

about. There it is. You must

1:05:37

be psychic. Thank you. Presentism.

1:05:41

Presentism. Presentism. Oh,

1:05:43

that's different. Well, that's... Oh, that's a

1:05:45

belief. Well, yes. Presentism.

1:05:48

Bigotry against present... Presentism? Bigotry.

1:05:51

Sorry. When you don't

1:05:53

believe in it. You

1:05:56

don't believe in presentism. We cover...

1:05:58

I'm sorry. Chris, did you... tried

1:06:00

to return the doll or no?

1:06:03

No. Why not? They lied to

1:06:06

you. Exactly. You can get a

1:06:08

full refund and you should also

1:06:10

warn people about the vendor. I

1:06:12

should. What's happening? Oh no. Wait, that

1:06:14

sounds like... It's doing it again. I

1:06:16

know. Look, it's doing it because he

1:06:18

brought it. I told you. This is

1:06:20

terrifying. This is gonna go on for

1:06:22

45 minutes. Oh, please, no. It'll die

1:06:24

down. Oh. Should

1:06:27

I put it in a drawer? Yeah, please. Yes,

1:06:29

please. Put it in a drawer. Oh, here's a

1:06:31

drawer. Slam. Do you

1:06:35

do that when you close drawers? You say slam. We

1:06:37

close it lightly and say slam? Yes. Not all the

1:06:39

time. I don't always try to do that. I'm telling

1:06:41

you, it'll just make your life more fun.

1:06:44

I did that old Onyx song. Slam.

1:06:49

Let the boys be boys.

1:06:52

Turn on your hard light. That's the turn

1:06:54

of the year, man. You gotta watch out

1:06:56

for the photos.

1:07:00

Gremlins. Did

1:07:09

Gremlins end with a wrap? There must

1:07:11

have been. Gremlins, you... I know Dragnet

1:07:13

did. Remember that Dragnet wrap?

1:07:15

No, but I'll... It's gonna make me

1:07:17

wanna watch it. It's something else. Tom

1:07:20

Hanks says, Pep Streebeck. Oh.

1:07:24

Okay, now where... Are you

1:07:26

drunk? Yes. It's

1:07:29

9 AM. Oh, you've been up for

1:07:31

a while. Oh, Chris, I need help. Chris, I can't

1:07:33

come live with you. I don't think that me living with you is gonna

1:07:35

solve your problem. That's off the table. I

1:07:37

remember. I remember. I remember. You asked me

1:07:39

why I didn't return. Oh, yeah. Okay, now

1:07:41

I'm gonna be real. Oh, please. The mask

1:07:43

is coming. Oh, okay.

1:07:45

Oh, my lord. I

1:07:48

took it off. I look older than I did.

1:07:50

You look... But you still look handsome. You're

1:07:52

still a handsome woman, but you do look 10

1:07:54

years older. Thank you. Okay. My

1:07:57

son, I know... If

1:08:00

I return it, I will have no chance that

1:08:02

my son will come back. I need

1:08:04

my son to come back. Do you feel like you

1:08:06

can only get him to come around and you need

1:08:09

help with certain things? Yes. That's what

1:08:11

I feel. Okay, but then you can ask for help for all

1:08:13

sorts of things. Help around the house, help cleaning, helping with

1:08:15

groceries. That's what you're there for. No, I

1:08:17

don't think so. I'm not sure that makes any

1:08:19

sense. Chris, you have to get that idea out

1:08:21

of your mind because Joan is not going to

1:08:23

live with you. She has her own life. Yeah,

1:08:26

I do. And I mean,

1:08:28

listen, and if I wasn't so busy, I might

1:08:30

visit your book club, but it doesn't mean

1:08:33

that we can't. Oh, visit my book club. Well, I already

1:08:35

said it was very busy. Wait, if you say, does visit

1:08:37

my book club mean that you'll be in it or just

1:08:39

come by and say hi? I use

1:08:41

my words very carefully. Visit just to check and see how it goes.

1:08:43

Nobody wants to do a book club. It's just no way. No,

1:08:46

they don't. It's just like... Oh,

1:08:48

yeah, visit. Okay. What

1:08:50

are you reading? Like auditing the class. Oh,

1:08:52

okay, goodbye. Goodbye. Sounds like a good book.

1:08:54

I won't read it. I'm talking about it.

1:08:57

Enjoy the cheese. Is

1:08:59

that them backing away into the night? Enjoy the

1:09:01

cheese. Because there's always cheese out of the book

1:09:03

club. There's always cheese. Enjoy the cheese. Slam.

1:09:07

So I don't need... What's my son? What? What?

1:09:11

My son? Who's husband? You need to

1:09:13

figure out... Second phase. Has

1:09:16

this happened many times before where you and your son stopped talking

1:09:18

for long periods of time or is this the first time this

1:09:20

has happened? No, it's many times. Okay. So

1:09:23

we need therapy. Is his father... Does he

1:09:25

and his father have a good relationship? Yes. I

1:09:28

say yes to therapy. Wonderful. Okay.

1:09:31

When my husband is home, there's nothing

1:09:33

wrong. How often is he home? Every

1:09:37

few months he comes home. What a beautiful way.

1:09:39

It is. There's nothing wrong. There's nothing wrong.

1:09:41

And Andrew feels the same. Oh, yes, they get

1:09:43

along famous. Well, gosh. Where do

1:09:46

you think all this unhappiness comes from?

1:09:48

We miss him. We miss

1:09:50

Charles. And we take it out on each other. Charles. So

1:09:53

sorry. You're right. I said my father.

1:09:55

That's my father. Oh, right. I

1:10:00

call my husband my husband When

1:10:09

you're having fun with your husband, it's your father. Oh

1:10:12

call your fuzz you should call him your husband I

1:10:14

call him my dog, but Doug's been a

1:10:16

cool boy boy I

1:10:23

Oh boy, I Know

1:10:27

somebody who who is divorced and refers

1:10:29

to their ex-husband if there was been

1:10:31

oh, yes I've heard that before that's

1:10:33

pretty clever. It's pretty clever. They do

1:10:35

hate each other. Oh, yeah I

1:10:38

don't know why she's bothering because

1:10:40

band you oh Like

1:10:42

a hand band. Yeah. Oh, yes. Oh,

1:10:44

I was thinking have been you mark

1:10:47

bad Was

1:10:51

Okay, I mean this is very fun But I don't think it's

1:10:53

going to help you get to the bottom of your

1:10:55

problem I know you're saying I don't need my

1:10:58

son to come back and help me No, you

1:11:00

don't need just simply a malfunctioning Elmo for

1:11:02

him to come back. Okay, I

1:11:04

think that you just need the fact that you are his

1:11:07

mother And that he

1:11:09

probably needs his mother and that the

1:11:11

two of you are 30s I

1:11:13

know but you know what a boy always needs me. Oh, yeah Very

1:11:17

true. Yes, even Matt and radiophonic

1:11:19

need me sometimes still And

1:11:21

and so I honestly

1:11:23

think like for bail It

1:11:27

does happen. They still get arrested a lot But

1:11:30

you know what you keep warm and if it

1:11:32

gets cold in the That's

1:11:36

the positive of having an arsonist is a son

1:11:38

if you live in cold weather, oh boy, I mean

1:11:40

that is been I

1:11:43

Think I need to do is is is

1:11:45

to call him up and say son I'm

1:11:47

sorry that things are that we that we

1:11:49

argued. Would you like to come over? I'll

1:11:51

make you some food? Hard

1:11:55

to be vulnerable sometimes, you know, but I'm just

1:11:57

telling you I guarantee you that he's he's He

1:12:00

has a family. Okay. He has a

1:12:02

family. So he has a family. He

1:12:04

has a family. So he does have

1:12:06

a family. He does have a family.

1:12:08

The reason I hesitated is because, you

1:12:11

know, as a mother, and I am one, and you're now speaking

1:12:21

mother to me. Oh, yes, we are. We

1:12:23

always, no matter what age they are, we

1:12:25

always think of them as just single children.

1:12:27

Well, yes. And

1:12:33

so when they're married, you go, oh, wait, he's not

1:12:35

a single child anymore. He's not a single child. He's

1:12:37

not a family. Can you describe

1:12:39

the family? Yeah. Oh, can

1:12:42

I? Yes. What did

1:12:44

you think I said? I don't know. Listen, I'm

1:12:46

very old. The answer was right. You said, yeah. Okay.

1:12:49

So I got lucky. I have a sidekick. Yeah.

1:12:52

Yeah. It's going to be right.

1:12:54

50% of the time. But I got lucky. I had

1:12:56

a good, like maybe. It could have been a maybe.

1:12:59

It could have been a maybe. Okay. That's rare. That's

1:13:02

like- Families love- Double

1:13:04

zero. I get along very well with this family. His wife's

1:13:06

name is Jan. Mm-hmm. I hate that

1:13:08

name, but she's lovely. Mm-hmm. Sounds

1:13:11

like, I don't know if that was pertinent. I

1:13:14

just think it's boring. Well, I mean-

1:13:16

Okay. When he said, I'm dating a

1:13:18

girl named Jan, I'm like, ugh, I

1:13:20

don't like it. Well, that might not have been the

1:13:22

best reaction to have. No, of course not. Yeah.

1:13:25

I'm just so young. Oh. You

1:13:28

think it's a name? If Charles was in town, I'm sure I

1:13:30

would have had a better attitude. Oh.

1:13:32

I just miss him so much. I think I take it out of my

1:13:34

house. You're personally a need to come home. Yeah. Does

1:13:36

he have children? Do you have grandchildren?

1:13:38

Yes. He has a lot. How

1:13:41

many? Six. That is a

1:13:43

lot. A lot, yes. Oh my God. I

1:13:45

would have- I'm an only child. Oh,

1:13:47

you bet they- they're two sets of

1:13:50

triplets. Oh, no. Oh, goodness.

1:13:52

Yeah. It was tough on Jan.

1:13:54

Well, sure. That

1:13:57

sounds scary. Scary? Yeah. up

1:14:00

on you? Well, because I feel

1:14:02

like they'd be warring. You

1:14:04

have two teams, essentially. But then

1:14:07

they could combine. Oh, yeah. Oh,

1:14:09

you're definitely beyond our number. And then we'll have

1:14:11

to talk to each other. Oh, no. It's like

1:14:13

the evil Brady Bunch. So

1:14:16

you just don't talk to them? You don't talk to

1:14:18

these kids? Not when I'm not talking to my son.

1:14:21

I don't talk to them. Oh, I don't talk to

1:14:23

any of them. It's all or nothing. You talk to

1:14:25

everybody or nobody. Listen, I'm a woman who's

1:14:27

all or nothing. That's

1:14:30

the healthiest thing, I admit. I wish I were better.

1:14:33

You're right about that. Too old to change? No. Never.

1:14:37

Never too late. I think that if you

1:14:39

are able to say, is it too old to change? Yeah, we

1:14:41

glossed over. Is it? You knew what you

1:14:43

meant. Thank you. I

1:14:45

think that, Chris, it sounds like

1:14:47

you're able to admit that you might have

1:14:49

some fault here. Okay. And

1:14:52

that the way you speak to your son, sometimes you say things that

1:14:54

don't need to be said. You know, you

1:14:56

might have personal feelings about, say, somebody's name or

1:14:58

something. But you can keep that to yourself.

1:15:01

You don't need to share that with him because now you have to

1:15:03

have that in his mind whenever he hears

1:15:05

his wife's name. Yeah, and I'm also realizing that

1:15:07

it has nothing to do with it. It's

1:15:10

all about my husband. I'm just, when

1:15:12

I say something, me, I just, I'm missing

1:15:14

my husband. You're missing your husband. I'm missing

1:15:16

my husband. There you go. And that's

1:15:18

okay. Well, he's got to be

1:15:20

fairly old. I mean, isn't it time for retirement for him? How old is

1:15:22

he? Oh, he's 97. Sure. And

1:15:25

he should not be old. Oh, my God. No,

1:15:27

he's got a lot of them. Do you have any of those

1:15:29

pillows? I could use some. Oh, sure. They're

1:15:31

delightful. They're delightful. If

1:15:35

you, if you, a headache pillow. Yes. Okay.

1:15:37

If you like colors, we, everything. I like colors. Give

1:15:40

me a color. Different color. I'm going

1:15:42

to get you a free pillow. What's your favorite

1:15:44

color? Oh, that's very nice. Stomach pain. Oh, that's

1:15:46

very nice. Oh, that's very nice. Oh, that's very

1:15:48

nice. Oh, that's very nice. Oh, that's very nice.

1:15:50

Oh, he loves Brown. Brown

1:16:00

and digital and I tell you

1:16:02

something that surround is good. Brown

1:16:04

is good for dandruff. Isn't.

1:16:07

Yes, Why? Because this is

1:16:09

the hides. It really does.

1:16:11

Lot of people don't know.

1:16:13

they think of the presenters

1:16:15

wife because white supremacy cancers

1:16:17

are scientists. This is a

1:16:19

scaffold.subverted eighties been hired as

1:16:21

a society at large. And

1:16:25

enter the Eighties movies Dan to Fly them

1:16:27

as the theme song, Smith's and I was

1:16:29

that his, his, his success and were all

1:16:31

on the same page. I think the movie

1:16:33

theaters though dangerous yes I think as a

1:16:35

merchandiser says rest. Period

1:16:38

be easier. And

1:16:40

as wise as suits the person

1:16:42

the dandruff was named for, more

1:16:44

desperate of his lawyers emanated steamy

1:16:46

affair yeah that A and assassins.

1:16:49

And has of I have the flakes fell

1:16:51

from a snowflake a Stormy Irons it's so

1:16:53

Hot and Ness or Jeremy Irons is dan

1:16:56

hooked up more dangerous and and Dad's have

1:16:58

survived a hop is played. Magnus. Wonderful,

1:17:01

Wonderful! I'm is. Very,

1:17:05

very repressed Smith. But.

1:17:08

Then at the end the glasses

1:17:10

come off as a hair comes

1:17:12

down to blocks away wants. When

1:17:14

she was when. He

1:17:17

walked away for the marriage was was

1:17:20

will see walking through a field. By.

1:17:24

Myself completely naked at that point

1:17:26

right? I would the close coming

1:17:28

all the closing of hamburgers and

1:17:30

but it's a far shot by

1:17:32

that by the far side of

1:17:34

walking across up a you see

1:17:36

the basics of see the buttocks

1:17:38

he gets nominated and had my

1:17:40

son be lured bread she doesn't

1:17:42

like a splash am I feel

1:17:44

like and why plants or towards

1:17:46

the blue best recipes as pests

1:17:48

This is sick all the zipper

1:17:51

with sexist. For

1:17:53

the British, more elegant. oh

1:17:55

my this is not a

1:17:57

that area that is Susumu.

1:18:01

I delete nominated that yes

1:18:03

I would say probably Jodie

1:18:05

Foster or I get immediate

1:18:07

response and logically merrill. Merrill's.

1:18:09

Normal majority wins that year. one

1:18:11

year study even earlier than any

1:18:14

more aware of the to just

1:18:16

get a weird all right? So.

1:18:20

I think we've got a proposed lost

1:18:22

the Oscar to Jodie Foster. Be cool

1:18:24

to see the blood and I know

1:18:26

this this way to deal. With

1:18:30

this is the premier. Oh no wait,

1:18:32

I'm wrong. You know Glenn Close

1:18:34

lost the Us to Desir for

1:18:36

fatal attacks since she lost a

1:18:38

lot of good access. You wanna

1:18:41

know? Share one that year, moonstruck

1:18:43

those one from and succeed Glenn

1:18:45

Close Loss to Jodie Foster when

1:18:47

she was a dangerous liaisons who

1:18:49

see I noticed food has the

1:18:51

answers like like the Clintons and

1:18:53

nothing. That's right. Furious that she's

1:18:55

ever wondered source and. I would have

1:18:57

club proceed to add ugly white suffer lipstick.

1:19:00

Where I see one for that will

1:19:02

be I had a white orange a

1:19:04

few hours suitable I said well Chris

1:19:06

a sick or of such a my

1:19:08

heels Well thanks So we're really proud

1:19:10

to have my know but I did.

1:19:12

This is a best of luck situation.

1:19:14

Really hear all that? I. See

1:19:17

when you visit my books up I would

1:19:19

I would Chris my were you I would

1:19:21

call Andrew and make up with him. and

1:19:24

then call your has also

1:19:26

come. Home to retires. Seven It's Times

1:19:28

is missing out on one time with

1:19:30

his grandchildren. Six of them can also

1:19:32

get get get them to help you

1:19:35

return a chicken dance Elmo as it's

1:19:37

it's game especially since you're. Going to buy

1:19:39

it off in Iraq as you already said isn't work.

1:19:41

You know who? sat. And ends. and I'm also

1:19:43

gonna leave a bad review. i think

1:19:46

i said i think the school maybe that's what

1:19:48

i'll call and you can you help me with

1:19:50

a better view and then we can talk for

1:19:52

real citizen i would lead with the upon which

1:19:54

may be the i tigers i'm sorry seat and

1:19:57

algo can you help me move for more than

1:19:59

advertised maybe Maybe talk in

1:20:01

a nice way about how

1:20:04

much she means to you and why I need you to

1:20:06

move in with me. Again, that's just

1:20:08

not going to happen. Hi. But

1:20:11

you mentioned therapy. I think that's a wonderful

1:20:13

idea. Absolutely. Okay. Thank

1:20:15

you. Thanks for being here. Good luck

1:20:17

to you all. You're a very handsome woman. You are a

1:20:20

very handsome woman. Thank you, Chris. No,

1:20:22

it's a second mask. This is what I

1:20:24

really look like. Ten more years. Do

1:20:27

I look still handsome? Still handsome. Maybe

1:20:31

I don't need to wear these masks. Skin drawn

1:20:33

so tightly over that pillow. Oh, I got to

1:20:35

open the drawer and take my... Oh, yes, please.

1:20:40

Can we stop laughing? Stop laughing. Oh,

1:20:42

no. There we go. Now

1:20:44

it's playing music. Creepy music. Oh,

1:20:47

absolutely not. Slam. We'll

1:20:50

be right back. This

1:21:01

is TJ. Large Beanie

1:21:03

Baby Collection from mid-1990s,

1:21:05

many rare and arabenies,

1:21:08

comma ellipsis, $12,000. Large

1:21:14

Beanie Baby Collection from mid-1990s, many rare and arabenies. Princess

1:21:19

Die, Hope, more. These

1:21:22

have been a protective tag plastic and protective cases since

1:21:24

first purchase. This lot includes almost

1:21:26

all of the rare and sought-after beanies.

1:21:29

This is being sold as a lot only, unless

1:21:32

the offer for a single one

1:21:34

is very competitive. For

1:21:36

example, Hope Bear has all the

1:21:38

errors with the beanie and tags to make Hope worth

1:21:41

more. Same goes for

1:21:43

other arabenies slash animals. This

1:21:45

lot even includes the first bear

1:21:48

introduced to the beanie line. Any

1:21:51

reasonable offer will be accepted. Local

1:21:54

cash transaction only. No shipping. No

1:21:57

payment apps. TJ,

1:22:00

this is

1:22:02

how you win. This

1:22:04

is only the beginning, TJ. People

1:22:07

still care about these Beanie Babies. I

1:22:09

know they do. They pretend not

1:22:12

to sometimes, but I know they care. They

1:22:14

care about the rare, they care about the error. They

1:22:18

care about honoring Princess Di. Okay,

1:22:21

TJ, don't spend all the money just here. Definitely

1:22:24

buy the hot tub. Okay,

1:22:26

all right, TJ. I

1:22:30

believe in you. Welcome

1:22:36

back to the neighborhood. Listen, boy,

1:22:39

Chris was really something and... He kind

1:22:41

of broke my heart a little bit. I was a little

1:22:43

surprised about... I

1:22:46

can't believe... Why did you want me to live with her? I

1:22:49

was not expecting that. Why was that the solution

1:22:51

rather than just talking to her? I mean, I'm

1:22:53

flattered. I like that I'm seen as someone who

1:22:55

can help fix things. You

1:22:57

know, that part is... Listen, it's not every

1:22:59

day that someone asked you to come live with her. I know,

1:23:01

I don't think you should be looking for a silver lining in

1:23:03

this. It's not good that she asked you to do that. I

1:23:06

think the bar has just been lowered for me as I

1:23:08

get older of what really makes... Really

1:23:11

flatters me. I understand. Well, look, a lot of

1:23:13

women, you know, you hit a certain age and

1:23:15

you feel invisible. Don't be asking you to... You

1:23:18

want to feel like you still got it and

1:23:20

people will still ask you to come live in

1:23:22

their home. Exactly. And help

1:23:25

with internet posting. Yes. But

1:23:27

I do hope she makes up with her son. It does sound like

1:23:30

it's all her fault and I hope... And

1:23:32

we got to get that man home because a 97 year

1:23:34

old should not be walking around. I mean, I don't

1:23:37

mean to be aging. That's really... That's a

1:23:39

tall... Tall. That's

1:23:41

tragic thinking of this elderly

1:23:43

man selling pillows. I

1:23:45

know. People already have pillows. That's just

1:23:47

a tough... It is a... It's quite

1:23:49

a literal tough town. Not me. Not right now.

1:23:51

Okay. You've got all... That's not very you. That's

1:23:53

a... Why would you go? Why would you have a

1:23:56

lazy room without pillows? There's so many other areas

1:23:58

of the house where we can be lazy. You

1:24:00

know, I am surprised about not just lazy Describe

1:24:04

the level of lazy. What is it that you're doing

1:24:06

that goes beyond normal lazy? So

1:24:08

I have my microphones on a Bob

1:24:10

Dylan kind of harmonica. Oh sure.

1:24:13

Oh, okay. Okay I'm

1:24:15

lying on my back with all four limbs. We know you're

1:24:17

lying on your back I know but all four limbs are

1:24:19

hanging like dangling down over. What

1:24:22

are you lying on a balance beam? Kind

1:24:24

of on a beam Well, okay, what does

1:24:26

it sound for actually sounds like work? It

1:24:28

doesn't sound lazy to me well,

1:24:31

so None of my

1:24:33

muscles are are engaged Okay But I thought

1:24:35

that you can do that just by lying on a

1:24:37

yoga mat and not engage ending of your muscles Or

1:24:39

you could lay on a beanbag or a sofa or

1:24:41

or a feather bed Well,

1:24:45

I this is what I went with all

1:24:48

right, okay, you know what I can he doesn't want to talk

1:24:50

about it According equipment

1:24:52

is split between two hands There's

1:24:55

no what but you can't see anything because

1:24:58

you're because they're hanging won't turn your head

1:25:00

below me Yes, so I just have buttons,

1:25:02

you know, I just I have to

1:25:04

say this is a very strange visual If this

1:25:06

one comes out all these surprised this episode I

1:25:11

mean, it's our last one. I think it has to god. I

1:25:13

hope so. I hope people we don't leave

1:25:15

people hanging like Doug limbs Well,

1:25:18

we have one final post here. Okay, and this

1:25:21

one comes from Rosie

1:25:25

And she says all caps beware

1:25:27

of doing business with a florist

1:25:29

called Chris Lindsay designs. Mm-hmm

1:25:32

in old dig biggest scam

1:25:35

In dignity Falls. She goes well, not

1:25:38

saying something This is

1:25:40

a pretty scammy town. I've

1:25:42

been scammed two years in a row They

1:25:46

make appointments that's a real shame on

1:25:48

me That

1:25:52

is the textbook Exactly,

1:25:55

I mean, I guess she's an optimist but

1:25:57

that really is they

1:25:59

make The appointments with you for

1:26:01

service but never show up or

1:26:03

call this the and I'm not

1:26:06

sure what system is. Speakers.

1:26:09

I'm not sure when you to afford

1:26:11

to come to your house for service.

1:26:13

What was a scam? do we think

1:26:15

I. Am in the C

1:26:17

E O's You put these in a vase

1:26:19

for me. He hopes. And

1:26:21

also it doesn't mention any money metics?

1:26:24

No no it's okay to someone doesn't

1:26:26

call you back. Yeah. I

1:26:28

think. Of Oj. I think that.

1:26:31

I think that Rosencrantz hasn't. Really

1:26:35

had yellows? You trying to

1:26:37

destroy drill business? Yes. A

1:26:39

bad or like you know says athletes

1:26:41

is now calling. You know, Because

1:26:44

it doesn't make any that the scale was not describe.

1:26:46

It we we we met and Abraham very well

1:26:48

people described as a scam in Greek people. just

1:26:50

we. Had some of the stammers. Only

1:26:52

pessimists. Sami's on for this is the

1:26:54

I. There's nothing here I don't under.

1:26:56

I don't have to go on this.

1:26:58

Is or worse title. Just pretty them as

1:27:00

with a Syria Internet images for school. Because

1:27:03

I'm not sure. Pretty much nothing illegal is. Suspects

1:27:05

here: my home is not really possible.

1:27:07

jail for a placebo mess and mermaid

1:27:09

don't do with this. Is an I

1:27:11

have into a I had This

1:27:13

isn't not specific enough. I I

1:27:15

I I She's not said something

1:27:17

like oh my it's my daughter's

1:27:19

wedding. you know, the morning. As they

1:27:22

never came, I couldn't put your me that

1:27:24

okay. Now this is. if you're going to

1:27:26

warn people, have a scare me business, you

1:27:28

have to set up the whole drama of

1:27:31

it. And how important this was a migraine

1:27:33

oh my Grandmother's day as. As

1:27:36

a result was her first so

1:27:38

sweet soup. My grandmother and I'll

1:27:40

see them in Hell's. Snell.

1:27:43

That's a canvas. Gives it a. Small,

1:27:46

You missed. Sources

1:27:49

such as. Well

1:27:51

you know Stacey from Samaras everybody. ah

1:27:54

that's homes army over the system that

1:27:56

ever listen I'm somewhat your ad free

1:27:58

versions of the show. You. go

1:28:00

to cbbworld.com, we

1:28:02

have to find out what that means, what that stands for. Yes,

1:28:05

we do. And if you sign

1:28:07

up on the Maximus tier, you can get

1:28:09

ad-free versions of the episodes and also what

1:28:12

we call the bonus room. These are additional

1:28:14

episodes that are different than our regular weekly

1:28:17

episodes and they are sometimes you'll

1:28:19

meet other people in Dignity Falls, sometimes you'll all watch

1:28:21

a movie together, who knows? It could be anything. But

1:28:24

they're a lot of fun and so are

1:28:26

we. And even though this is

1:28:28

the last episode of the season, it's not

1:28:30

the last bonus room. That's exactly right. It's

1:28:32

not. Nothing stops the bonus room. Nothing. Absolutely

1:28:35

nothing. But what has season it's been? It

1:28:37

has been a roller coaster. Yes, it's

1:28:40

been a roller coaster. You

1:28:45

did a little character there. It's

1:28:48

been a roller coaster. It's been a roller coaster.

1:28:51

Like a sportscaster. Well

1:28:54

that's how I feel. Sometimes I feel like I've been

1:28:56

watching a spectator sport talking to some of these people. Absolutely.

1:29:00

And we hope that you have enjoyed listening to

1:29:02

us as we get to know more neighbors and

1:29:05

push reality to its limits. Which

1:29:09

is what we set out to do. If you remember. That

1:29:11

was our mission statement. I don't know if we set it

1:29:13

on air. But we did. I

1:29:15

remember. We have it

1:29:17

up on a yellow piece of paper. That's right. Above

1:29:19

the tour. And I remember before the first episode

1:29:21

we all joined hands and we said let's push

1:29:23

the limits of reality. And we jumped up and

1:29:25

we touched it. And we jumped up and touched

1:29:27

it. Other way out. We

1:29:29

all retained our faces. And we

1:29:31

all retained our faces. That's what I call a

1:29:33

successful season. Yep. So

1:29:35

thank you everyone for listening and you know. Follow

1:29:38

us on Instagram. Join us in

1:29:40

the Discord. And

1:29:42

we look forward to being back with

1:29:44

season six. And until then, goodbye.

1:29:47

And bye. All

1:29:50

of the posts used in this episode were real.

1:29:52

Only some geographical specifics have been changed. The

1:29:54

Neighborhood Listen is hosted and produced by

1:29:56

me, Paul F. Tompkins. And me, Nicole Parker.

1:29:58

And me, Brett Morris. This episode's

1:30:00

guest was played by Mitch Silva. The Neighborhood

1:30:02

listened as a production of Comedy Bang Bang

1:30:05

World. Go to cbeworld.com to unlock the

1:30:07

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1:30:09

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