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Sign up today. Hi, I'm

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Paul F. Tompkins. And I'm Nicole Parker. On

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this podcast, we improvise in character using

1:08

real posts from a popular neighborhood networking

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website. Occasionally, we change the names of some

1:12

streets. And that's all you need to know.

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To support the show and unlock the ad-free

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1:24

now, please enjoy this episode of The

1:26

Neighborhood Listen. Knock, knock. Who's

1:29

there? Your neighbor. Good. In

1:32

Dignity Falls, you're never alone.

1:34

You've got the NeighborHalf app and us. Burn.

1:38

And Joan. From coyotes to mail theft to weird

1:40

things to sell, we'll cover it all. And meet

1:42

new neighbors as well. We'll chat

1:45

about any posts you're missing. So

1:48

just tune in to The Neighborhood

1:50

Listen. Welcome

1:56

once again to The Neighborhood Listen. This

1:58

is the podcast that explores. the neighborhood

2:00

of Dignity Falls. I am one of

2:02

your hosts. My name is Burnt Miepede.

2:04

I'm a pharmacist here in Dignity Falls

2:06

and with me as always is... Joan

2:08

Pedestrian. I am the top realtor here

2:10

in Dignity Falls. Again, whenever

2:12

I don't warm

2:17

up, you know, do my tongue twisters, I always

2:19

run into trouble. What's your favorite tongue

2:21

twister? My favorite tongue twister

2:23

is Mitch McConnell's milkshake madness. Try

2:35

it! It's not

2:37

easy. You're laughing but it's not easy.

2:39

Oh dear. Oh babe, quit. What

2:44

is the origin of that one?

2:48

Mitch McConnell's milkshake madness.

2:52

He tried to start that whole campaign, didn't

2:55

he? Yeah, well, by the way, that's

2:57

my husband Doug. That's

2:59

my husband Doug. That's

3:02

my husband Doug. Don't

3:04

click mark. He couldn't. He definitely

3:06

couldn't say it. And then it kind

3:08

of became a meme. Mark,

3:11

enjoy. Mark McConnell's milkshake

3:13

madness. Mark McConnell's milkshake madness.

3:16

Nevertheless, they're delicious. Babe,

3:21

where? This is my husband Doug. He just jumped

3:23

right in with a fun fact. And

3:26

I just was wondering where you were here, of course,

3:28

in a different room every episode of course.

3:30

Yes, we remain in the same room. Doug records

3:32

our podcast from a different room because it's better.

3:35

The reasons that are still really unclear to us. They're

3:37

all different. I'm just wondering what you're looking for. You're

3:40

looking for a way to get to the point where you're looking

3:42

for sound. Then there's never any more follow-up

3:44

on this. But you know what? I can't engineer

3:47

the podcast. Neither can I. That's

3:49

not true. Sometimes I

3:51

feel like... You're a bit

3:53

of a renaissance figure. Everyone's such a multi-hyphenate now, do you know what

3:55

I mean? You got to be able to do everything. You don't think you

3:57

are? You got to be able to cut hair and drive a truck and...

4:00

who are they hyphenate? Who are they? They're

4:02

just commuting to work as a barber. But

4:06

you're not doing both at the same time. I know. That

4:09

would be a bad, that would be bad, Mrs. Mobile Barber?

4:12

Mobile Barber? Mobile Barber?

4:14

Mobile Barber. Mobile Barber. Mobile

4:16

Barber. Oh, that's a good

4:18

one. Mobile Barber. Mobile Barber. I

4:21

got a bad bob from the Mobile Barber. A

4:24

bad bob. Oh

4:27

boy, why is the

4:29

barber coming across? I

4:32

got a bad bob once. Did you really? Oh my

4:34

gosh. Why did you get a bob? Oh, for the

4:36

Ren Fair. That's right. Doug loves

4:38

the Ren Fair. You know, they stopped

4:40

doing it. Yes, they did.

4:42

They did. We had to go to one

4:44

in a different county because people

4:46

took Ren Fair here way too seriously.

4:49

Yes. Way too seriously. I

4:52

know. Like while it was happening. I

4:54

know. And there were actual duels

4:56

and there were actual deaths. There

4:58

were actual deaths. And it

5:00

was a real mess. Somebody tried

5:03

to introduce the plague to

5:05

the Ren Fair. Oh, I remember that. I know

5:07

who that guy thinks. That's

5:09

rude. That's also just bioterrorism really.

5:11

Which is rude. Of an

5:14

old fashioned kind. Which

5:16

is rude. And

5:21

so, well now I don't even know what we're talking

5:23

about. You know, the bad Bob. That's right. Doug's

5:26

bad Bob. Doug's bad Bob. And basically

5:28

he wanted to, because we would always

5:31

dress up, you know. And he

5:33

left going getting the turkey leg. That was

5:35

really kind of like, honestly, 75% of it

5:37

I think. The Ren Fair and lesbian. It's

5:39

a turkey leg delivery system. And

5:42

he starts talking in an old

5:44

timey, you know, he starts to, he starts hazzah-ing like

5:48

a week in advance to getting character. Huzzah.

5:51

Excellent. It's his eye. So

5:55

when you would order the turkey leg, you purchase the turkey leg, you walk

5:57

up to the vendor, what do you say? Of

6:00

course, start with it now. Do you

6:04

want to do a warm up first? No. Mitch

6:08

McConnell's Milkshake Madness. Yeah, but McConnell's Milkshake Madness.

6:10

One tokyo leg. One

6:14

tokyo leg? Did

6:16

it get a little creole? Little

6:19

Dr. John ordering

6:22

a turkey leg. One

6:24

tokyo. Oh, we owe me to put

6:26

you on the spot, babe. It's

6:31

okay. It

6:33

makes me emotional thinking about it. He's

6:36

just sad it's not around anymore. Yeah, I

6:38

miss the circulars. Usually we put on really

6:40

fancy costumes, really like rent some stuff, and

6:42

get wigs and whatnot. He didn't want to do that this time.

6:46

He wanted to really go, oh, natural, as he

6:48

said. Nude? Just

6:50

natural hair. Not nude.

6:53

Just use his real hair. Not a wig

6:55

or one of those puffy hats. So he grew his hair out

6:57

really long so that he could get this medieval sort

6:59

of cut. I

7:01

don't know how else to describe it. I don't know what the

7:03

word for it is. Sort of,

7:05

yeah. But they ended

7:07

up just, what they did is they cut

7:09

just above the nose. And

7:12

he literally just had bangs that covered his eyes. Like a

7:14

sheepdog. And

7:17

I was going around everywhere like, does this look good? Does it look right? Because

7:21

you can't see. Yeah, right. Yeah, and

7:23

we hung some toilet paper on him and it was fine. Hung

7:25

some toilet paper on him. Did you ever see the

7:27

cartoons? There's these dogs,

7:29

these dogs in like, I don't know, Switzerland

7:31

or mountainous places. They're sheepdogs.

7:33

And it was like you could call them,

7:35

like you were in an outhouse and

7:38

they would bring, this is a thing. I'm telling you,

7:40

there are so many cartoons. More than once this

7:42

happened in a cartoon? Yes. Where

7:44

the dog fetched his toilet paper instead of

7:46

the whiskey? Yes, he got his toilet paper

7:48

hanging around his neck. I swear there's

7:50

even a far side one of that. I'll

7:53

find it for you, Bern. I'll find it at the branch. I don't know.

7:56

I don't know what far side I ever got that. She's got

7:58

a logical. Not my far side. But

8:00

I mean sheepdogs didn't carry her. They didn't carry

8:02

the thing. It was St. Bernard's that had the

8:04

cask of Brandi. Okay, well then maybe, oh not

8:06

the cask of Brandi. I'm talking about toilet paper. Right,

8:09

but I mean... Maybe the joke was

8:11

that this would never happen, but what if... A St.

8:13

Bernard wouldn't do this, but you know who would? A sheepdog. Right,

8:16

and instead of Brandi, it's the toilet paper, because that's

8:18

funny. You should... Well, I didn't make it up. Okay.

8:20

Certainly, I'm not on trial. That's for sure. No, you are

8:22

not on trial. Not for this bit. But

8:26

we haven't even asked...we haven't even asked...I almost called him Bob.

8:28

That's funny. The

8:30

boys called him Bob the whole time.

8:32

They thought it was hilarious. My

8:35

twins, Matt and... Chunch. Chunch.

8:37

Matt and Chunch gave him the worst time.

8:40

There we go. Baby, it's the bad, bad Bob. That's

8:46

a song you could sing, Bert. Baby,

8:48

there's a bad, bad Bob. Exactly. Same

8:51

note. We've

8:53

got a little repertoire growing. Oh, I could sing the

8:55

beginning of that Kid Rocks song. Oh, which one? The

8:58

Baa the Baa the Baa. That's right. Very good. Add it

9:00

to the list. Add it to the list. You're getting a

9:02

real...a book as they would say in the business.

9:04

Bring your book of music. Oh, these are the

9:06

songs you could sing for your audition. Yeah, you get to bring

9:08

just a bunch of little types of music,

9:11

different genres. What are your go-tos? Because if

9:13

you're not listening for the first time, Joan, of course, is very

9:15

talented. A community

9:17

thespian here in Dignity Falls. And

9:19

puts on...the most incredible one-person shows,

9:22

very ambitious. That's what I admire

9:24

about it. They're always very ambitious. I mean,

9:26

almost...I could take that maybe sounding not as a

9:29

compliment, but sort of like a...like maybe I don't

9:31

really pull it off, you know? And

9:33

here's the thing. Sometimes I don't. If

9:37

a person's grasp does not exceed

9:39

their reach, then how are we better than the common

9:41

ape? Oh, wow. I

9:43

was so impassioned. Thank you

9:46

for that, Burt. So,

9:49

yes. And I feel like it's been a really long time. I'm trying

9:51

to write my own thing so that I don't have to audition and

9:53

go in a room, because who pee you? Who likes that? P.U. P.U.

9:56

To audition. But,

9:58

yes. Well, my standards... go to is

10:00

used to be I would do I'm

10:03

in love with a wonderful guy from South Pacific

10:05

you know just a classic Nelly for Bush and

10:08

then I would do I had

10:10

sort of a patter song Oh

10:13

sure pajama game song that goes really

10:16

fast pajama pajama master puppets

10:18

the is that the

10:21

the I have a really cool like

10:23

I turn it into a ball it's metallic

10:25

metallic but I turned it into like a

10:27

real you have to hear it to understand

10:30

it but I don't I don't

10:34

you made the rules you said I had to I would

10:36

love to hear that again you know

10:39

I need to familiarize myself with the lyrics so

10:41

I'm gonna do it at the I'll read I'll

10:44

do that at the break I will have it

10:46

for you when we come back I promise beautiful

10:48

but speaking of the shows yes I realize that

10:50

I haven't spoken because I've been talking about my

10:53

one woman Hamlet called herlet and I'm trying to

10:55

get another tour going on but

10:58

the other thing we discussed at the top

11:00

of the season is my musical my realty

11:02

based musical realtor based musical yeah

11:06

and I think it's so perfect but

11:08

I'm nervous to say it well

11:11

why because it's very hard to

11:13

be vulnerable no I'm just afraid it is hard to

11:15

be vulnerable that's true I don't like it it's

11:17

location location location oh that's perfect

11:19

of course oh good yeah with

11:21

three exclamation points that's right absolutely

11:24

you know that already already says musical

11:26

that has a little an estimate probably

11:28

this has three exclamation marks Mitch

11:33

McConnell's milkshake madness McConnell's

11:35

milkshake madness it's not baking yet

11:37

it's not baking yet the beleaguered

11:43

barber on a

11:45

truck no baby

11:48

you didn't say what room you're in yet do you

11:51

know are you scared are you in

11:53

one no I know wait okay

11:55

where are you oh are you

11:57

in an oven no

12:00

little tinkles. It says

12:02

he wanted to. Are you in a dungeon? I'm

12:04

in the vault. The vault! Oh that was the turning

12:06

of the combination lot. This is such a classic one

12:08

that he likes. Wait,

12:10

did you lock yourself into the vault? Because

12:13

we heard the door open first, then

12:15

we heard the combination turn. Why

12:18

did you steal yourself in the vault, Doug? Is

12:21

this a David Blaine? Double to the bunker. Okay,

12:24

what do you know that we don't? Well,

12:26

I mean, we be in there with

12:28

you. I think the

12:30

sound is actually fantastic in there, my god.

12:33

It does sound crystal clear. It's really clear.

12:35

It's really clear. You know, he loves

12:37

Ocean's Eleven, he loves Bank Heist, you

12:39

know, movies and thought he could sort

12:41

of live out those fantasies, but also

12:43

that's where he keeps his most precious

12:45

valuables. Sensitive documents, family documents. Yeah, sensitive

12:47

documents. What are some of the sensitive documents you

12:49

call? Well, he beat me at mini golf one

12:52

time, and so he's got that scorecard. Yep.

12:54

That's not in the sports room? Up in the rafters with the jerseys? It's

12:57

not. That's such a debate

12:59

I had in my head. It was a debate. He really

13:01

went back and forth. Because it is

13:03

a sensitive document, but it's also a sports

13:05

memorabilia. What? So I put the

13:07

little sensitive document as opposed to just a memento. I

13:09

just want to say I put the little pencil into

13:12

the sports room. Oh, good. No, it's

13:14

easy. I'm glad you had a chance to see it. Let

13:16

me finish. Let me finish. Let me

13:18

finish. Let me finish. Oh! Well,

13:21

Ross Perot. Yeah, he's doing a little

13:23

Ross Perot. Little Ross Perot. Little

13:26

Ross Perot. Hey,

13:29

that was a different note. I could.

13:32

Did I do a different note? Yes, you did.

13:34

You did three notes. Wow. Oh,

13:36

my goodness. Do you think I'm almost cured? Maybe.

13:39

Well, I mean, I wouldn't say almost, but you're on your way.

13:41

You're on your way. I feel like I'm on my

13:43

way. Um, oh, yes. So

13:46

you want to know what he's

13:48

considered? Yeah. I mean,

13:50

I think he likes, first of

13:52

all, I think he just likes saying sensitive documents, right?

13:56

I think he likes it. I think he likes it.

13:58

I think he likes it. Yeah. in

14:00

there. Go on, we'll do that stuff. We

14:02

have, you know, receipts. I

14:05

have some false receipts. We're going to

14:07

call it such as, obviously. Yeah, I need

14:09

a such as here. I have some false

14:11

receipt receipts in there. Oh, that's flattering. Of

14:14

course, I work in the dignity false receipt.

14:16

Yes. Well, that you care enough to hold

14:18

on to the very best. Because

14:20

we do, we offer the shortest receipts in town.

14:22

That is true. The shortest receipts, the

14:25

most often stock, the most well-stuck shell.

14:28

And what, what, is there another feature that

14:31

we haven't talked about that you have at the Falls

14:33

Museum? They're adding something to the water feature. Oh,

14:36

again, there's this huge waterfall out

14:38

front where they've got cliff divers.

14:40

And inside. Oh, and inside. I pictured

14:43

it as like the lobby, just so you know. Yeah. Even

14:45

that's weird because what I mean is when we were

14:47

first talking about it before I'd been there. Yes,

14:49

of course. Now since I've been there. Now

14:51

you know. It's the centerpiece

14:54

of the Falls Museum. Yeah. Which of course is

14:56

many stories tall. And

14:58

we've added little a

15:00

little figure in a barrel going down

15:02

the Falls. Oh, that's fun. Yes, it's fun.

15:05

It's like a little cartoony guy, you know,

15:07

a barrel. And he

15:09

goes down like every quarter hour.

15:12

And the only complaint I have

15:14

is they have programmed in a

15:16

blood curdling screen, which

15:18

lasts the length of the fall. Oh,

15:20

that's just so disruptive. How often is

15:22

it every 15 minutes? Good Lord. It

15:24

is loud. It's chilling and

15:26

it gets you every time. Just

15:31

a person shrieking. They know they're it's

15:33

like if you know you're going, you're you're

15:36

meaning your death and you

15:39

have a long time to see it

15:41

coming. You know, you're falling from a

15:43

very great height and scream of just

15:46

absolute despair and terror. That's awful.

15:48

I just must have never been. Oh, you're saying they

15:50

just added. Okay, because I haven't heard that before. I

15:53

don't think so. I mean, you're going to get some.

15:55

Have you had complaints? Oh, yeah, nothing but.

16:00

Does he say anything when he finally lands? I think he's

16:02

dead, babe, when he lands. No, he's

16:04

dead. That's the idea, yeah. It's

16:08

too great a height to survive. Even

16:11

jumping into water. Do you remember when you were a kid and

16:13

you thought if you jumped into water you would be fine? You

16:15

could fall from any height. Yes, I do

16:17

remember having that thought. And then someone explained to

16:19

me that, you know, no, it's like hitting the

16:21

concrete at a certain point. It doesn't even matter.

16:24

Every bone in your body would be pulverized. Every

16:26

bone in your body would be pulverized. Who knew

16:28

he'd have so many tongue twisters today

16:30

that just come up? Do

16:37

you remember my pelvis? My

16:40

pelvis is good probably. I know that

16:42

he has, baby, he does have something up there

16:44

in the space that I know he's convinced is

16:47

a dinosaur fossil. Really? Doug,

16:49

where did you find this item? I

16:52

found it out in the park. Just

16:54

in the park? Yeah. Just on top

16:56

of the earth? Yeah, it was sticking out of

16:59

the mud. Well, here's the thing. Sticking out

17:01

of the mud. Well, there is a tarpet in the park.

17:04

There is a little tarpet. That's true. And

17:06

when it rains, then there are things that

17:08

are peeking out. Yeah, it gets bubbly. They

17:10

did find a body one time. Yes.

17:14

They're pretty sure it's human. Yes. Yes.

17:18

The main reason for this is that Doug

17:20

buried a little time capsule over in the

17:22

park about like 20 years ago. And

17:25

then a couple years ago went to go look for it. Sure. A

17:28

couple of years. It was just making holes every... Well, no,

17:30

no, no. It was about 20 years ago. And now just

17:32

a couple years back. Oh, I see. Oh, I'm so sorry.

17:35

I think it had been about 25 or about 15 years ago. I

17:37

thought it was one of those things where you start a journal

17:39

and then you read it back too soon and you're like, I

17:41

hate this. I

17:45

was never good at journaling because I just was too

17:47

impatient with the writing. And that also I couldn't even read

17:49

my writing. I have very bad handwriting. As do I.

17:52

Oh, shoot. That's one of the things that we bond about a lot. Yes.

17:55

Bond over, bond about. Bond towards. Talk

17:57

about bond over. Talk about bond over. Talk

17:59

about bond over. Don't bond over him. I can't

18:01

do it. Mitch McConnell's milkshake

18:03

glasses. Boundo Bondo.

18:05

Bean-doe. Oh wow, I

18:08

think we really lost the plot. Bean-doe, boundo,

18:10

bondo. Now we're all just

18:12

saying gibberish. Anyways, when

18:14

he went to go look for it, he was digging up holes all

18:16

over the place. And he really made

18:18

a mess of the park. I remember somebody

18:20

calling an exterminator. Yes. I

18:24

was so far in the hole. I was poking my

18:26

head out. And when the exterminator

18:28

came, dogs were going crazy. So

18:31

many joggers sprained their ankles. It was

18:33

really bad. It was bad. It

18:35

was really bad. And then what he found

18:37

was this, well, what he claimed is a

18:39

dinosaur fossil. Right. And what does

18:41

it look like? It's

18:43

just a tiny bone. How tiny? About

18:46

like a pinky finger? That's small. Yeah,

18:49

it is. But I mean, I'm like that tiny. It could

18:51

be like a mouse bone. Some dinosaurs were

18:53

small dinosaurs. Really? I mean, I don't know if that's

18:55

a dinosaur bone. They were mostly huge,

18:57

right? I mean, unless he found like a

18:59

dinosaur's ear bone. Hmm.

19:03

Do you think you did? What's

19:05

an ear bone? Well, there's three of the tiniest bones

19:07

in the body. Oh, what is it called? The

19:10

ulna? That's one of them. Is

19:12

that an ear? Yes. I'm pretty sure it is.

19:15

I thought that was like the funny bone. Maybe

19:17

it is. Darn it. I think it is.

19:20

I thought I had it. I know there's a colea. No, that's

19:22

the actual... No, I think

19:24

that's the colea part of your...

19:26

Of your... We're

19:31

all just saying words now. Okay, so there's

19:33

parts of the ear. There's the drum. Stapes.

19:35

That's one of them. Stapes is one of

19:37

them. Yes. Are you sure it's stapes?

19:41

100%. S-T-A-P-E-S. We're going to look it up when we take a

19:43

break. And I can't remember the

19:45

other two. I used to know them by heart. I

19:47

used to know them too. I had

19:49

an S engraved in it, in the

19:51

bone. Oh, well then... It's a stapes.

19:53

I don't think it's a stapes. Well then that would mean it's

19:55

just not a... Yeah, the bones are not... I mean

19:58

I'm not a doctor. It's a grave. But,

20:00

if you've heard of an archaeologist making a find of

20:02

a dinosaur bone and then saying,

20:13

I'll just put it back, like a fish. Not

20:15

personally. Like a fish catching a

20:17

release. Or even anecdotally. Well, he had a good life. Look at

20:20

this, back you go to the earth. We don't need you. The

20:22

archaeologist with the conscience. Well, this isn't mine.

20:24

I just wanted to see it. Also, the

20:26

catch and release of fishermen is like you're

20:29

still hooking them with a hook. I

20:32

know. You're not so noble.

20:34

Unless you're... And then you're holding it

20:36

for a minute out of the... Oh,

20:40

noodling! Do you love noodling? I love

20:42

noodling. Noodling is,

20:44

this is how you catch a catfish with

20:47

no pole. You

20:49

essentially, you stick your arm

20:51

in the water. You just go into just

20:54

like a mucky pond. No, thank

20:56

you. And you just wrestle

20:58

a catfish. Sometimes they are human

21:01

sized and they eat you. They

21:03

don't eat you. I don't know. I think

21:05

only sometimes. I don't think a catfish is eating a human. I don't

21:07

think so. Let's not get too crazy on this

21:09

show. Do you like thinking the Bible when they're referring

21:11

to the beast that swallowed Jonah was a catfish? It

21:14

could be. The only

21:16

fish I know of that could eat, you know, a human. Is a

21:18

catfish? What are you talking about? What about a

21:20

shark? What are you talking about? What about a

21:22

shark? Not a fish. Yes it is.

21:25

A shark doesn't qualify. I think a shark is not technically

21:27

a fish. Okay,

21:29

what is a shark? I

21:31

don't recall. I

21:34

don't recall. Between the lyrics to Master of Puppets and

21:36

whether or not a whale is a fish, we've got a lot

21:38

to think about. We still have all the cliffhangers too.

21:42

We still don't know what that movie

21:44

was from two or three episodes ago.

21:49

We refuse to look it up. We're just going to wait for it to

21:51

come to us. It's got to eventually, right?

21:53

It's going to. Of course it's going to. It's got

21:55

to. The movie escapes me. The

21:58

motion picture has escaped my memory. It's

22:00

not really a good one. What makes

22:02

a good warm up? Well

22:04

again, it has to make your mouth tired.

22:07

That's what it really has to do. Or it has

22:09

to be so difficult to say that you really have to

22:11

use every muscle in your mouth to get it right. That's

22:14

why I think rubber baby buggy bumpers is honestly one

22:16

of the hardest ones. It's so hard but

22:19

if you speed it up at all you're lost.

22:21

It's very hard. It's very difficult. You know

22:23

what else is a good one? Boingo, boingo.

22:25

Boingo, boingo, boingo. Me but like three times

22:27

fast really hard. Boingo, boingo. But that was

22:29

slow. Boingo, boingo,

22:32

boingo. I couldn't even

22:34

get through one. I know it's very hard.

22:36

It's very hard. Boingo, boingo. Do you think

22:38

that's easier? Boingo, boingo. Of course it is.

22:40

Makes all the difference in the world. What if they

22:42

made themselves that and they would have never made it?

22:45

Burton's Batman by

22:47

Oingo, boingo. Danny

22:49

Elfman of course. Yes. Danny

22:52

Elfman not a tongue twister. When I was a child

22:55

there was a company,

22:58

a toy company that made those

23:00

slot cars. You know? That

23:02

you would, there were remote controlled cars. You set

23:04

up a track. Oh okay. And

23:06

then these cars were... Oh sure. Oh

23:09

yes. Now I know. It was exciting.

23:11

For the half hour that it worked. I think it's called the Hot Wheels. You

23:13

know when... How wheels you had to do

23:16

yourself? Well no, not in the late 90s when they started

23:18

coming out with ones where you don't really have to do any work

23:20

at all. That's what the boys had. I know. But

23:24

the company was called Tyco. That

23:27

was the name of the company. Oh sure. I remember.

23:29

And then the commercials at the end, like they would

23:31

show you these slot cars. You wanted this very badly.

23:33

So excited. And then at the

23:35

end they would say, by Tyco,

23:38

of course. What's

23:40

the matter Tyco? Why the

23:42

chip on your shoulder? When

23:45

I was a kid I

23:47

thought that was cool somehow. That

23:49

they were saying, yeah you know us, we're Tyco. Oh

23:52

I thought it sounded more defensive. Of course. No

23:54

one else. Who else would it be? It's us.

23:57

God damn it. That's what I thought. I

23:59

think both are true. rubbing your face in it. Should

24:02

we take a break? How long we been going? I think we've been

24:04

going on long enough babe.

24:06

Do you have all your equipment in there? It

24:10

sounds like he's

24:12

taking a minute.

24:15

Whenever we ask for how long it's been there's several

24:17

steps he has to go through to look at the time

24:20

but we've never found out why. 22. 22

24:23

is perfect. It really couldn't be more perfect.

24:27

Oh, he gave us a heads up. Bob

24:30

is back.

24:33

Bob has boils. Bob

24:35

has bubonic boils. Bob's

24:38

boils have become bubonic.

24:42

We'll be right back with more The Neighbor Listened. When The

24:44

Neighbor Listened returns. Hi

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Mirror 24 High 554 width.

28:03

Perfect, excellent condition. Now you might say,

28:05

why am I getting rid of this

28:08

mirror? I mean, look at it, it's

28:10

gorgeous. And this is a very good

28:12

price. I have marked it down. The

28:14

reason I took a picture without my

28:16

reflection in it is because,

28:19

yes, when

28:21

you stand in front of it, is there a reflection

28:24

of an old lady clown

28:27

bleeding at the neck? Yes, yes, that happens,

28:29

you know, but that's not why I'm getting rid

28:31

of it. Honestly, I want something with more length. I

28:34

want something that's longer so that I can

28:36

stand and see an entire outfit. You know,

28:38

is it annoying? Is it annoying when she

28:40

reaches for me and seems to be mouthing

28:42

the word help, which makes even more blood

28:44

spurt out of her neck?

28:46

Yes, it's an inconvenience at

28:48

most. But what I really

28:50

want is more length. So I

28:52

know that it's beautiful. I know

28:54

that this will not bother a lot of

28:57

people the length,

28:59

I mean, not the ghost in the

29:01

background. But just to know that that

29:03

will happen. And I just

29:05

I couldn't I didn't want to put her in photograph. Welcome

29:13

back to the neighborhood. Listen, sometimes you're

29:15

really getting me with that. That

29:17

time I was actively trying to get right at me when

29:19

he does it. And then it goes, and it's very,

29:21

it was, it wakes you up is what it

29:24

does. Is it scary? Because I don't want

29:26

to be scary. You could never be scary burnt. I

29:28

mean, it's not a challenge.

29:30

I didn't want to insult you. If you'd like to be

29:32

scary, I bet you could do it. I

29:34

don't know. Good. I'm glad because

29:36

I don't want to be scary.

29:39

I want a very calming presence.

29:41

I hope so. And that's why

29:43

I love playing Santa Claus. Yes,

29:45

but right. The only thing is,

29:47

okay, see the trick. Yeah, a

29:50

little bit. It just never quite

29:52

gets there. That's definitely not. I

30:00

mean it's a little closer, it's a little

30:02

closer. Colder, colder. It all sounds the same

30:05

to me. No kidding. I'm

30:07

just too different. Are you serious? Yes. It

30:10

all sounds the same. To me, I'm just

30:13

doing different pitches. No,

30:15

there's also different accents happening. That

30:18

sounds like a bird of prey.

30:20

Which used to be dinosaurs. That's

30:25

right. Yes, that's right. Well,

30:28

anyways, we have a guest here. Remember,

30:30

I'm not good at segues. No, that was

30:32

perfect. No, it wasn't. There's no better segue

30:34

than anyways. It's the perfect segue. Everyone

30:38

knows we are moving on. I

30:40

know, but it usually means an admission

30:42

of like, oh, well, that part's over.

30:44

And now we weren't successful. Now we

30:46

have to move on to something else. I don't think

30:48

it's always... If I was to stand up and just

30:50

finish something and just went anyways, that would be an

30:52

admission of I'm not doing well, I think. I don't think

30:55

it should be seen that way. I think it should be... Anyways,

30:58

it should always be seen as end of

31:00

all business, on to new business. Okay, well,

31:02

that's an optimistic... I like when someone admits

31:05

that it's over. Yes, when

31:07

they admit it. Yeah, admit it. The

31:09

end. That last thing

31:11

you're saying is over. Yeah. But

31:15

we do have a guest here. We do have

31:17

a guest here. As we do every week, we

31:19

scour the neighbor half, the social networking application for

31:22

neighborhoods to find interesting people from our neighborhood to

31:24

talk to and share with you, the listener. And

31:27

this week is no different. If you see a

31:29

post on the neighbor half that we may have

31:31

missed and you think is interesting, screenshot

31:33

it, send it to us at burntandjoneatgmail.com.

31:38

And maybe we'll read it. This

31:42

post was sent to us by a listener. Oh, great.

31:45

Do you know who? I

31:47

think the name is... If you have it in front

31:50

of you, I think the name is attributed to this.

31:52

Oh, right. Oh, yes. So

31:54

this one is submitted by Wild Jodi,

31:57

J-O-D-E-E. Hey

32:00

Jody, getting up. Wild Jody. Wild Jody. Thank

32:03

you for taking time out of drinking whiskey

32:05

at Deadwood. Pretend

32:08

us this. And so this is

32:10

from, this was from someone named Hannah and

32:12

it says, it says, ding

32:15

dong ditcher on horse. Had

32:17

a ding dong ditcher that ran away on a

32:19

horse. Sounded like

32:21

multiple people. Happened tonight at

32:23

11 p.m. Did this happen

32:25

to anyone else? And there's actually a video. Bird's going to play it

32:28

and describe it to you. There is. The first

32:30

is not that interesting. We

32:35

see the ditcher walking away from the door. Yes. You

32:38

can see the horse in the background. It's like a

32:41

big party happening. It does.

32:47

And those are unmistakably the sound of

32:49

a clop of horse hooves. The clip,

32:51

clop, clip, clop. Of horse

32:53

hooves. You don't stop. Okay. So

32:57

we have we

32:59

have we have

33:01

the ding dong ditcher here. Yes. But

33:03

we don't know her name yet. So I guess I'll

33:06

let her introduce herself. Hi. Hi.

33:09

Hi. Hi. Hi.

33:11

How are you? Hi Wendy Waffles. Wendy Waffles.

33:14

It's a big honor to be here. Oh

33:16

really? Oh. This is

33:18

really exciting. Are you familiar with our podcast?

33:20

Of course. Oh well that's nice to hear.

33:23

Oh my gosh. Of course. Yes. We

33:25

have a couple of questions for you. Oh please go ahead. First

33:28

is Waffles your your real last name or is

33:30

that a sort of nom da ding dong ditch?

33:34

No it's my real name. Yeah. Really?

33:37

Yeah I know. It's an interesting name. I

33:39

know. Yes. It

33:41

is on my dad's side. Okay. And

33:44

it is Argentinian. Really? Yeah. I

33:46

would not have thought that. I don't know what he does.

33:49

That's fun news for our one Argentinian listener. Hey

33:51

you're right. We have one Argentinian listener. Really?

33:53

Shout out. I'll

33:56

find him. Okay great. And

33:58

I'll ditch his doorbell. And

34:01

now Wendy, you were

34:03

riding a horse. I was. We

34:05

could not see in the video how many people

34:07

were with you. It seemed that there was someone

34:09

else with you. How many people were with you and

34:12

what's the whole story behind you? Yeah, you can

34:14

only see you in the video. Yes, I'm

34:16

happy to clear it up. Absolutely. Oh, good,

34:18

thank you. Yeah, it's confusing. So

34:20

that is me and my husband,

34:23

James. He's

34:25

in the background and that is our

34:27

horse, Dimples. Dimples, Waffles, Waffles.

34:30

Just really quickly, Waffles is

34:32

your maiden name. So

34:36

unless you're married to James Waffles. No, it came from

34:38

my dad's side. So he's my name. That's what he

34:40

said. Oh, he took your name. Yeah, you know, same thing with

34:42

him. You can't see him, but he's in another room. Oh,

34:46

hi there, wherever. Hello. Yes, my

34:48

last name is. There's more. Sorry, say again. There's

34:51

more. There's more about. No,

34:53

it's not just Podesta. So

34:55

John, yes, John. I'm

35:22

not sure what the name is. I mean the term. What would

35:24

you call it? Oh, I see. Because

35:27

if a young woman is a maiden before she

35:29

gets married, would it just be virgin? His virgin

35:31

name? I can't see any. Anyone

35:34

agreeing to that? I don't know. What

35:36

is the equivalent of a maiden? I

35:39

feel like whatever we come up with would

35:41

be upsetting and misogynistic. Fair. Fair.

35:44

Very fair. So let's just move on. I'm

35:47

the one who threw a wrench into that. So

35:50

it was you and your husband and go

35:52

on? And Dimples. Oh,

35:55

and Dimples, yes. And what was James' last name?

35:57

Oh, we didn't get that. James' Waffles. Oh,

36:00

he took my... He took mine. I'm so sorry.

36:02

That's how we got here. It is. It

36:05

is. It is. It's

36:07

totally fine. And what was his virgin name?

36:09

His virgin name was a Smithsonian. Wow. Yes.

36:13

It's a grand name. I know. I

36:15

know. I was shocked too because I was

36:17

like, you really want to swap Smithsonian

36:19

for Waffle. But that's my man. Okay.

36:22

That's my man? What can I

36:24

say? Who

36:27

introduced the idea of getting a horse? Was

36:29

it you or James? Oh, it's my horse.

36:31

It's your horse. Oh, yeah. It's

36:34

still my horse. Okay, great. My horse is my

36:36

best friend. Okay. For sure. Absolutely.

36:40

God, no. This is a thing that you do. Really?

36:43

This is a thing I do. This is a thing I do. I'm

36:45

actually surprised there weren't more posts. I was sort of hoping for more

36:47

posts. Really? If I'm being totally

36:49

honest. I was sort of like scrolling, scrolling,

36:51

scrolling, waiting. The other people might not have

36:54

had a camera doorbell. Oh, that's true. Yeah.

36:57

That's true. Yeah. Okay.

37:00

So then are you a little tipsy when you do these?

37:02

Or it sounds like you were, but. Okay. Wow.

37:05

Oh, right. Yeah. Is

37:07

it part of the whole deal or? Yeah, it's sort of

37:09

a Friday tradition. I know. I'm pretty sure. I'm surprised there

37:11

aren't more posts. Because

37:13

it's one thing to think about this, but you've got

37:15

a horse involved. You know, look,

37:17

sometimes the clops are loud, sometimes they're

37:20

not. So it doesn't always get the

37:22

attention. It depends on the shoe that

37:24

I have put on pimples. Oh, okay.

37:26

Yeah. Or are there softer horseshoes you

37:28

sometimes get? Yeah, there's kind of nice slippery ones. Oh, I

37:30

didn't even know that. Like a slippery E. Like

37:32

a slipper S. But they're still nailed

37:34

directly into the hook. Like a nice toner

37:36

for a horse. Exactly. I didn't even know.

37:39

I think there would be a better way by now than

37:41

just nailing it. Maybe there is and I don't know. I

37:43

have no idea. That's how we do it. That's how we

37:45

do it. It's a true hammer, hammer,

37:47

hammer, hammer. I mean, I feel like the glue

37:50

comes such a long way. I do. I

37:52

agree. I agree. But it's

37:54

complicated with horses, you know? Yes. Oh, I didn't

37:56

even think about that. thing

38:00

I thought of those bills is

38:02

emotional for them you can't yes

38:04

of course not good Lord no

38:06

I apologize no I

38:09

apologize to the horses burnt that's

38:11

what you tell us of the horse of

38:13

course he's referencing what happens in Disney Falls

38:15

sometimes when we have therapy where a therapist

38:17

will get so fed up with a client

38:19

that they bring in a horse and say

38:21

tell it to the horse oh I love it

38:23

it became an expression I love that I

38:26

can't believe I heard it that's well yeah

38:28

well wait a minute were you born and

38:30

raised here uh yes it was oh you

38:32

were okay yeah and when did you first fall

38:34

in love with horses horseback riding when did that

38:36

happen because I know for a lot of ladies

38:38

it starts very young well I'm late for everyone

38:41

there's a concept of a horse girl there actually

38:43

is absolutely I am sort of

38:45

the inverse I got into horses last year

38:48

oh late bloomer just

38:50

last year and honestly hated them

38:55

hey they're so big we

38:58

can't argue long okay have

39:00

like kind of too beautiful of hair

39:02

oftentimes has here you can braid or

39:04

style that was with the turn off

39:06

it just

39:10

too much I don't want to be in

39:12

competition hair wise with an animal so they

39:14

how in the world did you get turned

39:17

around I'll tell you what I was out

39:19

walking okay and I saw a horse

39:21

farm in town we all know the one oh yes and

39:24

Devonshire Devonshire exactly and

39:26

I was strolling right by minding my

39:28

own business and I locked eyes

39:31

with dimples oh wow like you

39:34

imprinted on each other it was

39:36

incredible wow it was incredible and

39:38

I found myself sort of just moving

39:40

towards the fence oh my goodness sort of

39:42

just had had had his little head hanging

39:44

over and I went

39:46

up and I said hi

39:48

oh my goodness you talked to him I

39:51

felt compelled like a meet you it's like

39:53

a rom-com it really was and

39:56

and we're we're kind of

39:58

locking cases and I'm feeling

40:00

a feeling I've never felt which is Wow

40:02

true utter complete love oh my and can

40:05

I ask I don't want to derail this yeah

40:07

but when you're locking eyes with dimples is

40:10

dimples like head

40:12

facing you or sideways just one

40:14

eye I can never tell with

40:16

horses you have

40:18

the eyes on the opposite side yeah you can't look

40:20

them head on sort of if you're sort of

40:22

face-to-face with a horse but yeah what do

40:24

they see of you so this is which

40:26

I do you look at yeah I'm just

40:28

here on their own heads to

40:31

see you so dimples has a kind

40:33

of a little fucked up face oh no

40:37

yeah I just can't do it in my own

40:39

home that's very unhappy okay well I won't I

40:41

won't make you then I do make some people perfectly

40:43

but I won't make you do

40:45

make some people you make some people swear you

40:48

can just feel when somebody needs

40:50

to swear oh you know what

40:52

oh how does that

40:54

happen how does that happen and how do

40:56

you feel now compared to a moment ago I don't

40:58

you feel great see I do feel like

41:01

a tiny weight has been lifted there you

41:03

go I can feel it I

41:05

can feel it oh my beautiful gift it's

41:07

a beautiful gift and I'm grateful for it

41:09

as are you now I

41:13

can't see I can't see you know if you do me

41:15

do me well you don't

41:31

that and how do you feel now well

41:34

I feel bad I messed up his name when I said why do

41:36

you say it to me I wasn't

41:38

to you you're not even here

41:41

I feel like you said but dog if

41:43

Doug's name was Doug but Doug like Amelia

41:45

Bajilia it would it would sort of make

41:47

sense to me adorable

41:50

oh are you talking about tongue twister

41:52

yes I would really enjoy tongue twister

41:54

oh yeah goodness we love a good

41:56

tongue twister yeah have you ever heard

41:58

Mitch McConnell's milkshake madman this. It's

42:01

a great warm up. No. And I will

42:03

never not think of it every

42:05

morning. Well as a gift to everyone, you just, everyone

42:07

just take it and go with it. Take it and

42:09

run with it. Take it and run with it. Yes. See,

42:12

really it works all of the muscles.

42:14

It just does. So now let's get

42:16

back to this moment of clarity, profound,

42:20

the day or life change. So yes. So

42:22

to answer, and you can see it in the video, his

42:24

eyes look forward. They're really close together. Yes, you can see

42:26

those sort of crack clues. They're really close together. They

42:28

look like glowing eyes. Very close. They're unsettlingly

42:30

close together. Oh, okay. So,

42:33

but it worked for me in this moment because he

42:35

could make eye contact. So it was profound,

42:37

like I said, and I'm just sort of

42:39

in awe. And then

42:41

he starts nuzzling me, kind of nuzzling in

42:44

my chest. And

42:46

I was like, I never felt, I

42:48

never felt this feeling. Just

42:50

so that everyone knows, we talk about Devonsure,

42:52

but our listeners might not know. Devonsure, you

42:54

know, people have like petting zoos, whatever. This

42:57

is a nuzzle farm. So what you are

42:59

supposed to do is be nuzzled by the

43:01

animals, by the pigs, by the chickens. They're all

43:03

in some sort of enclosure where just their heads

43:05

are sticking out. I didn't

43:07

pay though, is the thing. Oh, this was a free nuzzle. I got

43:09

on the head nuzzle farm. Oh, got it. That

43:12

is a little hack for Devonsure that

43:14

if you go around the edge, you

43:16

get a nuzzle for free. You

43:18

get a free nuzzle? And a $30 ticket

43:21

feels like a lot. It's kind of on

43:23

the honor system, I guess. There

43:26

I was getting my free nuzzles. Don't

43:28

tell. Take a nuzzle, a nuzzle, leave a nuzzle. And

43:32

okay, now, so there

43:34

we are with nuzzling. And then

43:36

I hear and I feel,

43:38

oh, I'm wearing a dress. That could be

43:40

anything. That was a lot of,

43:42

that was like quite a sound effect. Oh my gosh, thank

43:45

you. Yeah, it's kind of kind of juicy. I'm just nervous

43:47

about what happened. What came off? It was

43:49

a big chomp. It was a horse chomp. It

43:51

was a horse chomp. Okay. I'm wearing

43:53

a dress, you said. He ripped

43:55

my dress open. Whoa! He ripped

43:57

the center right out of the way. I

44:00

don't rip the center out of your...

44:02

What is that? Wow! So there's still

44:04

some dress on you. Well, it doesn't

44:06

look like a recurve. It

44:09

doesn't look like... It doesn't look like you're hurt now.

44:11

And there are my... and I'll say it...

44:14

Okay. Oh! Okay!

44:18

And I'll say the other one. Vagina. Oh,

44:21

wow! Okay! Calm down. Calm

44:23

down. No, I'm a nude girly. I'm a

44:25

nude... the waffles are nude. We're

44:28

a nude family. What part of the waffles in this... in

44:30

this... Oh, no, she's saying the waffles are

44:32

family. Oh, my... Oh, that's not a part of

44:34

me. Well, it is a part of me. You

44:37

could see her waffles. I'm not gonna say what.

44:42

And they are... True!

44:44

True! Christmas waffles.

44:46

Help me. Look at

44:48

the waffles on her. Yes, so the

44:51

waffles are out. And I'm...

44:54

Before I can say anything, I'm... What

44:56

would you say? What a... Maybe

44:59

ask for help. My goodness. I think I

45:01

would have... Were you scared? Honestly, I've

45:03

never felt freer. Wow! I've

45:06

never felt freer to be standing on a public

45:08

road with my...

45:13

Your waffles out. With my waffles out. And

45:16

then I hear... I hear an

45:18

old man, the man's voice, and he goes,

45:20

careful. Oh, that one'll eat your

45:22

clothes. Was it Chet? Oh, it was Chet. Oh,

45:25

it turned out to be Chet, yeah. He runs

45:27

Devonshire. He runs Devonshire. But he appears out of

45:30

nowhere. I don't know how he does it. That

45:32

is wild. It was incredible. Because he can't be

45:34

fast. He's not... He's an old man. No,

45:37

he's very elderly. He's a very old man. No. And

45:40

he speaks so softly, and this is almost more

45:42

unnerving how softly he speaks. His overalls are rusty.

45:44

They're actually rusty. I've never seen such rusty overalls.

45:46

I've never seen such rusty overalls. I

45:48

didn't know they could rust. I didn't know they could

45:50

rust. I think they're fabric rusted. I would think the

45:52

rivets, maybe, but the whole... It's just a thing for

45:54

rusty. But then somehow, silent, all that rust

45:57

and no squeaking, all of a sudden,

45:59

you very tin man style. Yes.

46:02

Tin man style. You think it would be a horrible moment. You

46:04

think you need one of those like little oil cans from the

46:06

back when? From way

46:08

back when? Back when? Back when?

46:10

Back when? And what's the voice

46:13

name? Beep beep beep. Yes. That's

46:15

right. Yeah. Yeah.

46:17

The oil can. Beep beep

46:19

beep. In Wizard of Oz if you watch it back. When they go to the

46:21

tin man. There's a beep. There's little beeps. And

46:24

in Dark Side of the Moon. Oh my God. That's

46:26

fun. That's right. That's fun.

46:29

What did you do? He says he'll eat your clothes. He

46:31

says he'll eat your clothes. Right. And

46:33

I said I could have used

46:35

that information five minutes. Yeah. That's

46:37

another thing that Chet always does. Exactly. He

46:39

gives you some sort of warning or some advice or

46:42

something after the things are going to happen. Always

46:44

too late. Always too late. It's unnerving.

46:47

But we love him. We love him. We love

46:49

him so much. We love him so much. We

46:51

love him. He's wonderful. He's a

46:53

philanthropist. He's done so much. He's your

46:55

edge. He doesn't take a salary. No. And

46:59

it's funny to be CEO of a snuggle

47:01

farm and not? To

47:03

not? Yeah. He has a snuggle farm and he has a

47:05

snuggle farm on the other side of town. He has both.

47:08

Oh, that's good. Yeah. Somebody

47:10

makes more money on a snuggle farm. Why do you think that? A snuggle is

47:12

better than a nuzzle? Yeah, absolutely. Huh.

47:15

A snuggle is better than a snuggle. Is your second base better than your first base? I

47:18

guess the snuggle is a little more intimate than a nuzzle,

47:20

isn't it? Yeah. I suppose that's

47:22

true. Absolutely. Yeah. A

47:25

nuzzle could happen by accident. Yeah. Yeah. And

47:28

then the other one is like a little more, you

47:30

know, well, sort of what Dimples did to our friend

47:32

over here. Yes. So wait. So

47:35

now do you think that that was all it was? So can

47:37

you say you liked it? But what did you think Dimples was

47:39

thinking? Was he just eating clothes or what was the look he

47:41

gave you after that? Oh, he was horny as hell. Oh,

47:43

my. It was obvious. It

47:45

was a little scary. It was obvious. I think

47:48

I know what you mean. Okay. And we're not going

47:50

to, nothing has happened. Nothing has happened. We're not going down

47:52

that road. We're very clear. A lot of Catherine's in

47:54

a great situation. We're very clear. This is just a

47:56

bonding. This is just a bond between a

47:59

human and an animal. like a lot of

48:01

people have chemistry. Okay, I'm not

48:03

sure. All right. Like pheromones. Just

48:05

connection. Did you say anything else or was that it?

48:07

Then he was gone. He was gone. Well, no. And so

48:09

there I am. Waffles out as we know. And I said,

48:11

I have to have him. Oh,

48:14

I must own him. Own

48:16

him. Own him. Not have him. Because these

48:18

animals are not for sale. That's

48:20

the idea of the, the Nuzzle.

48:22

Right. No. How would have that

48:24

always reminds you of that. Oh,

48:26

yeah. After the fact. He's when

48:29

you're leaving. All of a sudden,

48:31

Chet's there saying you can't buy

48:33

these animals. We understand the

48:35

function of the farm. We're not

48:37

dumb. But there

48:39

I was. But I love him. Oh, so we

48:42

love him. So I, but I, I've never felt

48:48

so compelled. It was like a lightning strike.

48:50

Okay. And I

48:52

said, I have to have him. And she

48:55

said, they're not for sale. Right. Kind of

48:57

screaming. Wow. I know. Unusual for chess. So

48:59

I said, beat him to the punch. Oh,

49:01

that's it. And I said, how about I give you

49:06

my house? I'll give you

49:08

my house. I said, I need this horse today.

49:11

I got it. Pretty clear that like

49:13

he doesn't live anywhere. I think he lives at the

49:15

farm. He's never, he's always there. I saw him asleep in

49:17

the trough once he

49:20

rolling around like a, you know what, and I, well,

49:22

he was, he was asleep and it was a

49:25

water trough. So he had a little straw that

49:27

he was breathing. That's fun. Yeah. And he

49:29

was snoring, which was cute because bubbles. Okay.

49:31

That's cute. I

49:34

love him. He's great. But

49:36

obviously, yes. Was lacking in, uh, he

49:43

gave me a nuggy once. Did he really? Did

49:45

you think he's opening a nuggy farm? Do you

49:47

think he's

49:50

going to snuggle? Nuggle. I think there might be problems

49:52

with that one. What happens in the nuggy farm? Are

49:54

there, are there animals there or is it humans? Most

49:57

people, I was going to say that's right. I

50:00

just think it may be out

50:02

there. Bully. Bunch of bullies in

50:04

a pen. That sounds problematic. It does sound problematic.

50:07

I'd rather have those bullies pinned up. I hear

50:09

you there. I hear you there. If that's what

50:11

you're into, then fine. Go where they are. I

50:13

think sometimes everybody wants a little headlock and a

50:15

nuzzle. You know. You

50:17

can have a brother or sibling sometimes

50:19

you want. You get a wedgie there.

50:22

Maybe who knows? I get to take the twins there.

50:24

Check them in. Oh my gosh. They

50:26

would be in hog heaven. That

50:29

team of bullies is what's very scary.

50:31

Oh yeah. We have a team of bullies

50:33

that roam around the town. Yes. And

50:35

the way they kind of put their fists in there. They kind of. Yeah.

50:38

They do bring in the dance. They do bring in the dance. They do bring in

50:40

the dance every once in a while. They snap. They

50:43

snap. I can't believe there's

50:45

nothing to be done about that.

50:47

I know. It's just they

50:49

roam. I think that some people really like it. Doesn't

50:51

that have to be treated like a parade? They kind

50:53

of sit on the curb and watch them go by.

50:55

Yes. And they wait to be

50:57

surprised. Sometimes they go like that and then surprise you

51:00

and scare you. And then they just laugh. The

51:02

mayor's saying just ignore them. They'll just ignore them. They'll go

51:04

away. But they've just grown in numbers. At

51:06

least you the mayor solved for lots of things. Do you

51:08

remember the last mayor? Joe, what was his name? Oh, I

51:10

forgot his name. Oh, Pickpock. Joe

51:12

Pickpock. And he said, his

51:15

advice about the bullies was go up

51:17

and hit them first. And

51:20

that lost him the next election, I think. Yeah.

51:23

Definitely. Was encouraging violence. Yeah.

51:28

It was so many brawls of teenage boys. It

51:31

really was. It was such a bad time. Yeah,

51:33

adults hitting teenage boys. Adults going up and hitting

51:35

boys. It was really. Before even finding out they

51:37

were bullies. No. Some

51:40

of them were just groups of sweet boys. It was.

51:42

It was adults camped out outside the high school.

51:44

I like the sweet boys. Just waiting

51:46

for the bell to ring. Well, it was a problem. The

51:48

sweet boys were just going out in groups too. Yeah. The

51:51

sweet boys were having a griddle. All they do is whistle.

51:53

They were whistling. They were picking up trash. They were

51:55

looking for old ladies to help across the street. They were Sat in

51:57

jackets saying the sweet boys. Don't

52:01

run a very. Neatly so Ali pulled.

52:04

A salesman is. As

52:06

were Short Zola. So in Mississippi.

52:08

Boy. Middle East Boys Well. They. Run

52:11

out of town this year whereas

52:13

other silicates Adidas given sad set

52:15

your house well you know see

52:17

to So he was. Of that good.

52:20

Food items are farmland. And

52:22

I did it without anyways. Since

52:24

when you think. Of

52:27

it was wonderful. Man.

52:30

Says we're miss that the last part's over. by

52:32

far it's over now We have felt like I

52:34

said with herself are some and will never going

52:36

of in our that me I years on my

52:38

blouse freak out forget that happened meunier by the

52:41

last three boys are old business. As

52:44

a sweet. Spot.

52:46

Not so. so we we. We

52:48

know him he's to sweets I do not

52:50

have the pre no no no Daniella. Different.

52:53

Has seized be the best the that I. Don't either him

52:55

or that are these. Am I going to hit or

52:57

idolize him when he was? When you. Off as

52:59

an attic in your house. He knew

53:02

me, he recognized me. a nice crazy

53:04

i do walk around their loss but

53:06

okay. And. He's and as does

53:08

routinely search. For. His google images

53:10

for people said resources states is a little

53:12

less. Where does all Weird? Got a lot

53:14

of animals to protect. The general that serve

53:16

as probably probably at some sure it's fine

53:19

you. Know people before they even comes.

53:21

Yeah sport they have moving violations. if they

53:23

might drive their car into his harm to

53:25

get something really scary can resubmit him over

53:27

was carved which is great found have one

53:29

bomb and against the as we can't reiterate

53:32

says how we can set health and I

53:34

was sorry sorry I was in my face

53:36

in their mayor's her three. Says he was

53:38

his Dempsey. well my dad. you know I'm

53:40

not sick Now in a sudden what was

53:43

he faces a look at him he's got

53:45

fucked up. Ccs is always a mess. Oh

53:48

wow I'm surprised though eyes and said

53:50

little Nearly newly in love with this

53:52

horse. yes we don't need. To. Be putting

53:54

him down? yeah yeahs is honestly of them.

53:56

We don't say that. No real yeah,

53:58

we're not even at. We already

54:00

talked about glue. That's right. We can't. Ah.

54:04

No, not about my dimples. So

54:07

he said, tell you what, just

54:09

take him. No way. You said take

54:11

him. Wow, that's fascinating. Give him

54:13

a good life. That's lovely. He saw your

54:16

level of commitment. Yes. He knew you

54:18

would take care of him. Keep in mind, I'm

54:20

completely newed as it's the first thing. Oh, I

54:22

thought these curtains are gone. Well, I

54:24

mean, they're kind of just hanging on the

54:26

side. And I've done nothing to cover myself. OK, why

54:28

do you think that is? It's

54:31

Chad. It's Chad. Let him see. Let

54:33

him out. Let him out. Wow. Free

54:36

show. Who cares? OK. OK.

54:40

How many years have you got left? I mean, I'll say it. It's

54:42

not like I'm not rocking a bod. I'm happy

54:44

to feel good. I'm confident. Good

54:46

for you. I'm 60. I

54:48

look amazing. You are 60? No. I

54:51

wouldn't know it. You look terrific. Thank you.

54:53

I feel good about it. I'm

54:55

proud of it. A lot of it has

54:57

to do with horseback riding and being outside and

55:00

in nature and jimbles? No, I don't need a

55:02

lot. Oh, OK. All

55:04

right. And I work out a lot. Oh,

55:06

all right. You put a lot of

55:08

work into this body. It's your secret. Yes, your secret

55:10

is that I'm constantly in the gym. OK. And

55:13

I'm on a keto diet. OK. So that's

55:15

actually why. But I love the thought of that. OK,

55:18

fabulous. Yes, and fillers and a

55:21

lot of lasers. OK. But

55:23

so, yeah. You do you. I'm

55:25

always good. OK, great. I feel good.

55:28

You look wonderful. And I want I

55:30

didn't mind him taking a look at the goods. OK. And

55:33

it felt like this moves this transaction

55:35

along. Right. OK.

55:38

I'm ready for that. I'm ready to be

55:40

old business. This part. Anyways. So

55:43

I got the horse. So he got the

55:45

horse. And then just and then I

55:47

did you just walk home walk me through getting

55:50

home with the horse. Yeah. And

55:52

then explaining it to I want to say Peter and that's not right. I

55:54

mean because I would imagine

55:57

given your history of hatred of horses.

56:00

Great warm up. Horse

56:03

hatred history. You

56:06

have never ridden a horse. So

56:08

I can't imagine just climbed right up on the back. Well,

56:10

I did. You did! Foolishly. I

56:15

went on backwards. I was sitting

56:17

backwards. It was so embarrassing. I

56:20

didn't know what I was doing. I didn't know

56:22

heads or tails of the horse. Literally. Reverse cowgirl.

56:26

Again, we're not connecting sex with my horse.

56:28

No, we're not. We're not. We're really not

56:30

connecting any sex with my horse. It's

56:33

just an unfortunate coincidence. So

56:38

I switched to missionary. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

56:40

That is going to confuse our listeners. What? Okay,

56:42

you just mean that you sat front, face forward,

56:44

on the horse, and you just ahead. Presumably

56:47

is how missionaries rode horses. You

56:51

think that's where that comes from? In the days of Martin

56:53

Scorsese. I think it's where that comes from. I hope it

56:55

isn't. I think

56:57

it is. I think all of our sex positions

56:59

are horse related. Oh dear. I really can't imagine.

57:02

But again, we're not connecting sex with horses in this

57:04

world. We're not. And when you say you rode him

57:06

home, we're literally just talking about the fact that you

57:08

were on top of him. It's how you maneuver. This

57:11

is hard, isn't it? This is difficult. Yes.

57:13

Okay. So, should I help you get

57:15

home? You get home. I

57:18

do get facing the right way. He gives me a

57:20

couple quick pointers. I ride him home. Okay. Wild. How

57:23

long was that trip? I

57:25

rode around the corner. So it was a quick five minutes. Were

57:27

you scared? Being up on the... You

57:29

could have just walked him home actually at that point. You didn't

57:31

have to get on him after. But

57:34

it's my horse. I have a horse. You

57:36

bought a car. If you bought a car, but the

57:38

dealership was five minutes away. I wouldn't push it on

57:40

my foot. Would you push it on

57:43

my foot? No. Because that's a perfect parallel. That's

57:45

a perfect analogy. You

57:48

would drive it in your new car. No.

57:52

So, was your husband home when you arrived

57:54

home with this horse? He was. Okay.

57:58

Yes. He works from home. What did he do? He

58:00

works in tech How

58:09

did James feel about horses prior to waffles

58:11

and how does he feel post-waffles? Take

58:18

him to the vet dimples waffles.

58:20

Yeah, exactly a mouth with a

58:22

name and again. We're not it's nothing

58:24

You are sure of course. Oh, I forgot about

58:26

that practice at the vet And do you think

58:28

that the animals they go to the vet enough

58:30

to to learn that that is their last name?

58:32

It's my favorite thing when they when they make

58:34

if I'm the last name of the human The

58:39

word escrow pedestrian is Dimples

58:48

waffles. Yeah Yeah,

58:51

but does get my last name. Yeah, so

58:53

he was at home doing tech also horse

58:55

hater deep horse hater Why

58:59

did you both hate my word well Best

59:05

on in different doors sure sure at the deepest Worked

59:10

actually hate a horse. I feel like well

59:12

we were both trampled by horses. No

59:14

that'll do it But

59:17

yeah, we were wearing soft shoes No

59:20

the harp ones okay, and they were sharp,

59:23

but was this at the same time or individually no

59:25

separately What on different on different Hawaii

59:27

trips? You know they take you on

59:29

you can do the like beach sure

59:32

back riding sure different Hawaii trips We

59:34

did not know each other. Hey, we

59:37

both got bucked off Oh, no, and those

59:39

are docile you know those are just take

59:41

you on a look bucked

59:43

off immediately trampled underfoot immediately

59:47

It was trampling because Jenna. They are walking

59:50

at a Extremely no it was like a

59:52

line jumping grapes like a mat it was

59:54

like stomping grapes And so we

59:56

met in a man. I just the horse

59:58

would buck you off, and then the horse would

1:00:01

either back up or turn around

1:00:03

and then start stomping on you.

1:00:05

Again, in what is usually a

1:00:07

line of tourists on very slow moving

1:00:09

horses with intention, with intention

1:00:11

and malice in their eyes.

1:00:13

A forethought? A forethought? It felt

1:00:16

absolutely premeditated. Would have taken

1:00:18

them to court if it was legal. The

1:00:25

way I would have sued this horse to see him

1:00:27

in court. I'm getting sworn in. I'm

1:00:32

going to swear on a Bible, put a

1:00:34

stupid hoof on a Bible. I'm

1:00:37

sorry, I need to swear now. Oh wow. Doug,

1:00:39

are you doing okay, babe? It's a lot of language.

1:00:41

Totally fine with that. Really? Doug, do you

1:00:44

want to swear? Oh, uh, uh, uh, jerk water. Jerk

1:00:46

water? Jerk water. Jerk water? Jerk

1:00:48

water? What is that? Fuck, you're not doing

1:00:50

it. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing

1:00:53

it. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing

1:00:55

it. I'm not doing it. What is that?

1:00:57

Fuck you. Oh no. Fuck

1:01:00

you? Fuck you. I don't think Doug knows

1:01:02

how to swear. I don't think so. I

1:01:04

don't know. I'm not going to count that. Fuck. Yeah,

1:01:06

he's just honking. Honk? Honk? Honk?

1:01:10

Honk. Honk. Honk.

1:01:13

Honk. Honk. Honk.

1:01:16

Honk. Honk. Honk.

1:01:19

Honk. Honk. Honk.

1:01:22

Honk. Honk. Honk.

1:01:25

Honk. Thank you. Fuck. Thank

1:01:29

you. Fuck. Oh

1:01:32

yeah. It's a goose that flew into the engine. I

1:01:34

know. I think they brought that goose to justice. Oh.

1:01:37

Oh wait. They never said it. I don't feel bad

1:01:39

for that goose. No. I don't think that

1:01:41

he knew what he was doing. Wow. There's one goose.

1:01:44

It's really giving me a break, Joe. Just saying this goose

1:01:47

somehow missed, there was a gigantic plane

1:01:49

in its flight path? I

1:01:51

don't know. I don't know what was

1:01:53

going on in that goose's life that way. You think the goose

1:01:55

was turning and talking to somebody and they were like, oh no.

1:02:00

the goose is looking at his

1:02:02

phone. Did he go head on into it or did

1:02:04

he get caught up with the display? I'm not sure

1:02:06

that they were able to figure that out. I think

1:02:08

the story is the goose got sucked into the turbine.

1:02:11

You are not going to create a goose

1:02:13

conspiracy around that plane. I'm with

1:02:15

you. It's a goose conspiracy. Okay. Do

1:02:17

you remember goose gossage? Of

1:02:19

course I do. It's a great name. Harlem Globetrotters.

1:02:22

Oh, okay. Yes, right. Curly Neil.

1:02:24

Anyways. Meadow Lark Lemon. They have great

1:02:26

names. Those are so fun. My name

1:02:28

isn't fun when you waffle. Are

1:02:31

you kidding me? When you waffle is fun.

1:02:33

You think so? Okay, I didn't beat

1:02:36

you into it. No, no. But

1:02:38

I think we really are missing a lot

1:02:40

of key information here. Oh, so, so, yes.

1:02:42

So I got trampled by a horse and

1:02:44

a wife. Yeah. I'm on a message group

1:02:46

for a support group, an online support group

1:02:48

for people who've been trampled by horses, wish to bring

1:02:50

them to justice. Can't.

1:02:53

No matter where it occurs. Wish

1:02:55

to bring them to justice. Can't. Can't. That's what it says

1:02:57

at the top. Comma.

1:03:00

And an exclamation mark.

1:03:03

Right. Talk about

1:03:05

those exclamation marks. Yeah, because you're frustrated about that. Okay,

1:03:07

I get it. And that's how you found each other.

1:03:09

That's how you found each other. There's a vehicle in

1:03:11

there somewhere. I don't

1:03:14

know. I'm nowhere near a thesce in. Like

1:03:16

you. Maybe I'll toy around with

1:03:18

it, but I got to got to work on my own

1:03:20

stuff first. I will. Don't worry. I

1:03:23

won't. And what was I supposed to do? What

1:03:26

was my homework? There was an earpiece. Oh, the

1:03:29

ear, the ear bone names were Malleus, Incus and

1:03:31

Stapes. I was right first. That's

1:03:34

right. Also the names of the three wise men. So you

1:03:39

can hope I want to really live out this moment.

1:03:41

So I understand now how you met that makes sense.

1:03:43

You get home. So then does he freak out? Cause

1:03:45

now there's a horse in the house and he's still

1:03:48

afraid of them. He's living. He's living. I mean, I

1:03:50

mean to imply you went into the house, but why

1:03:52

do I feel like he went right into the house

1:03:54

with him? Oh, that I came into the house. Yeah.

1:03:56

Absolutely. I knew my new best friend. I was friends now. If

1:03:58

you come to the house, think of a horse Yeah, it

1:04:00

was a mistake. I

1:04:03

immediately regret it. Oh, we're talking about a bowl in a

1:04:05

Chinese shop. I'd love to see that. A horse in a house. Holy

1:04:08

hell, a horse in a house. That's

1:04:11

what he said. Oh, that's what he said. That

1:04:13

makes a lot of sense. That's what Jane said. I

1:04:16

mean, he's out of his mind. Oh,

1:04:18

dear. Please be

1:04:20

in mind, I'm still relatively naked. Yeah,

1:04:22

yeah. I keep

1:04:24

forgetting. I haven't

1:04:26

got a clothes debt. I have the most freaking feeling

1:04:28

galloping through this town. Do you gallop when

1:04:31

you went home? Yeah, well, I wrote it. It

1:04:34

was five minutes, but it was a strong gallop. Okay. And

1:04:38

so, yeah, I'm sort of like, I'll have a lot to

1:04:40

explain here. I get it. I get it. This looks crazy.

1:04:44

And he's like, no, I don't want to hear it. Uh-huh. He's

1:04:48

mad. Of course. He

1:04:50

threatens divorce on the spot. Oh, no.

1:04:54

A horse is a horse. A

1:04:56

horse is a horse. We

1:04:58

all know the phrase. We

1:05:02

do. We do. We

1:05:04

all know the phrase. And can I tell you, it was always my

1:05:06

worst fear to hear that phrase coming from my own

1:05:08

husband? Even

1:05:11

though you knew that you both hated horses, you

1:05:14

somehow thought in the future you might get a horse

1:05:16

divorce. It was my worst fear. Well,

1:05:19

think how we met. It was

1:05:21

my worst fear that something horse-related would divide

1:05:23

us. Yes. It was my worst fear. I

1:05:26

mean, you've got to imagine 90% of our

1:05:28

conversations are horse-related. Oh, now that does interest

1:05:30

me, because you think you wouldn't want to talk about them.

1:05:32

Well, we're obsessed. Because we never got

1:05:34

justice. So we, you know,

1:05:36

and it's not like... I wonder if you started getting obsessed in

1:05:38

a different way about horses. You know, if you talk about something

1:05:41

90% of the time, you

1:05:43

probably start to have interest in it, not just

1:05:45

rage about it. Well, you know how it's like

1:05:47

when you and your partner hate

1:05:49

the same person. Yes. And

1:05:52

you sort of love to fill each other in on

1:05:54

what stupid thing they did so you can judge it.

1:05:56

Yes, you feel better. It's your bond. But it doesn't

1:05:58

make you like the person anymore. No, I guess that's

1:06:00

true. Okay fair enough. I think it was our

1:06:02

bond. You know, it was really our connection and

1:06:04

frankly we didn't know a lot about each other

1:06:06

otherwise. Really? How long have

1:06:08

you been married? Ten years.

1:06:11

Wow! Ten years of just horse

1:06:13

discourse. Horse discourse? Of

1:06:17

course. Half a score. Yes. Oh

1:06:21

no, it's a quarter score. Quarter score. Oh yeah. Wait.

1:06:25

Is it? I always get very confused. Yeah,

1:06:27

the score is 20 years. Okay. Yes.

1:06:30

Half a score. Maybe that's your homework. Don't get a

1:06:32

poor score. Make sure. So he's

1:06:35

upset. He's livid. He

1:06:39

threatens divorce. Horse

1:06:43

divorce. Yes. Horse

1:06:45

divorce. I'm absolutely terrified. I

1:06:48

beg him. Literally on my knees I beg him.

1:06:50

Okay, so now at this point you've dismounted. I've

1:06:52

dismounted. And you are begging on your knees.

1:06:54

I'm on my knees. Which is a big high to low. Yes,

1:06:56

of course it is. Oh, here's escrow. Oh, hi. Hi,

1:06:59

bud. Escrow heard all this. He can't see

1:07:01

you. Hi. No, he's very

1:07:03

old. Oh my God, that's okay. So am I. He's blind

1:07:05

to death. I think he's lost a sense of taste.

1:07:08

That's okay. That's a good boy. What

1:07:10

a sweet. So I found him in the vault. I had to let

1:07:12

him out. Oh, that's not good. No, that's great. That's not good. But

1:07:14

you've been in the vault this whole time. Yeah, I was gonna say,

1:07:16

what do you mean you found him? How big is the vault? Oh,

1:07:19

I mean you can walk around. You can breathe in this thing.

1:07:21

Well, I just hope you can breathe in it. It's

1:07:24

good to be here. What? What are

1:07:26

you talking about? All

1:07:28

right. I'm sorry. I don't know you well enough to be chatting

1:07:30

that thingy that way. I'm really not. It should

1:07:32

be breathable. You're not wrong, Wendy.

1:07:35

All right. So then how did you eventually

1:07:37

get him to come around? I said, look.

1:07:39

Okay, that's compelling already. Are

1:07:42

you still on top of the horse? No, I

1:07:44

remember he had just found his son on my

1:07:46

knees. He's begging. Oh, she's begging. Which I think

1:07:48

is a very big high to look. Nude begging.

1:07:51

Yeah. So I

1:07:54

say, I say, listen, I hear

1:07:56

you. He says, look, listen. Look, listen. Look,

1:08:00

listen. And I say,

1:08:02

now this is going to sound like

1:08:04

a phrase. I say, look this horse in the eyes. It's

1:08:06

not looking a gift horse in the mouth. It's,

1:08:09

look a weird horse in the eyes. And

1:08:13

I say, look this weird horse in the eyes. Feel

1:08:16

what I feel. Oh, feel what

1:08:18

I feel. Just trust me. Oh, wow.

1:08:21

Okay. And he does. Uh-huh.

1:08:23

And I watch it all. I watch the whole

1:08:25

moment. Oh, wow. What an intense moment. It must

1:08:28

have been powerful. Yeah. I

1:08:30

mean, I'd experienced it first time. Sure. To

1:08:32

see it happen. Yes. Wow. Was

1:08:35

really beautiful. So it just happened the exact same way with

1:08:38

him. There is something about him both. Come over. Please come

1:08:40

over. I gotta go look at this horse. I'm

1:08:42

intrigued. I have to say. There is,

1:08:44

I can't, it's not for everybody. I understand as

1:08:46

a former horse hater. Yes. Former

1:08:48

horse hater. No, that's a good one. Um, it,

1:08:51

I get it. I get it. But something happened,

1:08:53

something changed. We have to be open to change

1:08:55

in this life. I horribly abhorred the

1:08:57

horse. I did. And

1:08:59

I did. He

1:09:01

fell in love. We fell in love. He's both of

1:09:03

our best friends. Oh, that's wonderful. So

1:09:06

now, and now do you just, do

1:09:08

you actually like ride him for exercise, for like going

1:09:10

on trails and stuff like that? Or does he just

1:09:12

actually hang up? No, he's a little. Where does he,

1:09:14

I'm afraid to ask, where does he live? In

1:09:17

the house. Oh, boy. How does that work?

1:09:19

He's got a big, big bed. Well,

1:09:21

okay. That wasn't my first, I mean, I wasn't concerned

1:09:23

about that. But I mean, where, like, is he in

1:09:25

a whole separate corner? They need a lot of space.

1:09:28

I mean, does he run around in the yard in

1:09:30

the back? Our house is huge. Because I can relate.

1:09:32

Yeah, our house is gigantic because I don't know how

1:09:35

you guys, well, I'm from town, but you may not

1:09:37

know. Oh, real estate

1:09:39

is so cheap here. Yeah,

1:09:41

I, well, because my family,

1:09:43

I'm an ice cream heiress.

1:09:47

Are you really? What's the name?

1:09:49

What flavors? What flavors? It's

1:09:51

awful. You dream it, we make it.

1:09:53

Whatever flavors you can think of. I

1:09:55

mean, you guys have heard

1:09:57

of diamond ice cream. No,

1:10:00

yes, you are the the diamond ice

1:10:02

cream heiress. Oh my goodness. Well, you

1:10:05

were missing Well,

1:10:10

I was for a while

1:10:15

People thought she faked her own abduction Your

1:10:20

father is Walter Waffles Cream

1:10:26

duh Ice cream

1:10:28

diamond. I'm a walker waffle from

1:10:30

Argentina. Don't forget a famously Argentina

1:10:33

train brand famously Argentina. Yes one

1:10:35

of the only actually yeah, and

1:10:38

um, yeah Where

1:10:40

did you go? Argentina just to

1:10:42

connect with family and stuff like that.

1:10:44

Oh, wait, let's dramatic and people made it out

1:10:47

to be I mean I committed a lot of

1:10:49

crime. Oh here in Argentina are here there when

1:10:51

I was there Oh, because extradition is difficult

1:10:53

there. So it was I needed to

1:10:55

it was my like rum springa I

1:10:59

needed it. It was

1:11:01

after the horse trampling. I was bring a

1:11:03

was in Argentina. I Needed

1:11:08

it I was very I mean you have to imagine how

1:11:10

fucked up I was after this horse. Oh, sure. I get

1:11:13

no justice Yes,

1:11:16

I get no I get nothing. I just have

1:11:18

to go on the rest of my trip in

1:11:20

Hawaii be a normal person. I'm Yes

1:11:26

Injured it's crazy very injured

1:11:28

and I so I needed it I needed

1:11:30

it and it was rather than saying like

1:11:32

I'm all fucked up. I'm a public person

1:11:36

I just Faked the fake the whole

1:11:38

missing and went there lived out what I needed to

1:11:40

live out You couldn't you couldn't just said you were

1:11:42

going on a vacation I'm

1:11:44

right. Oh, but wait. How am I

1:11:46

going to do at that time? I also

1:11:48

feel like this is a bit of a rebellious moment

1:11:51

against her. Let's see. It was yeah

1:11:53

I was 45. So it's classic

1:11:55

time to reveal against your dad. Yeah, cuz I

1:11:57

met and then married James and we've been together

1:11:59

for They searched the

1:12:02

tar pit for you. They

1:12:05

drained the tar pit. No, no

1:12:07

one told me that. That's embarrassing.

1:12:09

They poured it into an above ground pool. I

1:12:12

thought, no. It's

1:12:14

alright, they put it all back. They put it

1:12:16

all back. And the bones and everything. And all

1:12:18

the bones were found. And they wouldn't kill anyone

1:12:20

but bones they found. Wow, that's fun. Yeah,

1:12:22

it was kind of fun. I

1:12:25

hate to have put everybody through all of that, but that

1:12:27

must have been fun. It was fun. Well,

1:12:29

even with the same thing, it's something to talk about

1:12:31

on a Saturday night. Yeah. I'm

1:12:36

going to be talking about it this upcoming Saturday

1:12:38

night. After I doorbell ditch all Friday

1:12:40

night. Okay, now we get

1:12:42

to it. How did

1:12:44

this start? How long are you all

1:12:46

three living together and

1:12:49

cohabitating with this horse before randomly

1:12:51

you just start ding-dong ditching? Well,

1:12:53

I mean, honestly, Timples

1:12:56

is just a goof. He's just a funny guy. Because they're best

1:12:58

friends, right? And he's got, he's just, he's a goofy guy. Yeah,

1:13:00

you've said that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah,

1:13:03

I don't know. I just want to get over providing any examples. Should

1:13:05

we call it such as? We have to call it such as here. Okay.

1:13:09

Call it a such as. Okay, I guess

1:13:11

that's goofy. Okay, sure. He doesn't read as goofy

1:13:13

to you? No, I, yeah, I don't know. We might have to see it. Well,

1:13:15

it just seems like a thing a horse does. Right? Yeah,

1:13:17

it's a thing a horse does. I guess, okay. I

1:13:20

guess, okay. I guess, okay. I

1:13:22

mean, it's like he's, he's, I was thinking you were

1:13:24

going to tell me he like, like plays pranks

1:13:33

on you or something. Yeah. Oh yeah,

1:13:35

he does that. Okay. Yeah, yeah, well, okay.

1:13:38

Okay, call it a such as. Yeah, let's hear some of

1:13:40

those pranks. Such as on the pranks. Okay. So

1:13:42

he loves jumping

1:13:46

out. Jumping out. Where

1:13:48

I'm coming out, where I'm in the shower because we

1:13:50

let them loose inside the mansion. I don't

1:13:52

understand how it's a filthy mess, but okay, go

1:13:55

on. We have a lot of cleaners and a

1:13:57

lot of money. I don't know. I guess he's

1:13:59

not. Is Trina a horse? I'm not sure. No.

1:14:03

Okay. She's got a big diaper. Oh. Which

1:14:06

we all hate talking about. Yeah. Yeah.

1:14:09

I think I do too. So I think we won't. Yeah. No,

1:14:12

I don't want to. But, so you're in the shower and he

1:14:14

does what? So he loves to kind of jump out

1:14:16

and go, nay! And

1:14:21

it is a funny nay. And for the

1:14:23

listeners, it was a very Rodney Dangerfield moment.

1:14:25

It's a funny nay that she recreated. It's

1:14:27

a very funny nay. I saw a tie,

1:14:30

a loose tie immediately around the horse's neck

1:14:32

when that happened. Yeah, I like that picture. So

1:14:34

that's an example of being goofy, I think, for

1:14:36

me. Are you good burnt on the goofy example?

1:14:38

I'm good on that. Yeah, that sounds pretty goofy.

1:14:40

I feel like the way they eat apples are pretty goofy.

1:14:42

Yeah. I guess that's true. But I don't

1:14:45

think they're trying to be goofy. No. It's

1:14:47

just how they look. Goofy requires intense. Go

1:14:49

what? Goofy requires intense. Yeah.

1:14:53

Well, I think... Yeah. Yeah. I

1:14:56

think it's a personality type than yes. But some people just look

1:14:58

goofy. Yeah, some people just argue. That's kind of his deal. He's

1:15:00

kind of a little mixed about. He's a little mixed about. Hey,

1:15:03

did we have the word goofy before

1:15:05

goofy the character? Never

1:15:08

stop to think about it. Well, we have to have. Otherwise,

1:15:10

why would he be named goofy? What is goofy about goofy?

1:15:12

I guess everything. Well, because we probably heard him. Yeah. He's

1:15:15

on his skis going like, you know what? What does he say? He's being

1:15:17

a goof when he skis. That's

1:15:19

so funny when he skis. Oh, I know what you mean. When he falls, he

1:15:21

goes, yeah, I'm a gorg. Yeah. I'm a

1:15:23

gorg. I'm a gorg. I'm a gorg. I'm

1:15:26

a gorg. Yeah. Yeah. That's

1:15:29

kind of yodeling. Good job. Thank you.

1:15:32

Is it just when he's on skis? Any

1:15:36

time he has a fall. This is so

1:15:38

validating. Have

1:15:41

you ever heard of him? No.

1:15:45

He's about to fall to his death. The

1:15:49

only goofy cartoon I've ever seen was a drunk

1:15:51

driving PSA that he did. Oh

1:15:53

no. You're kidding. This is a

1:15:56

100% real and searchable thing that

1:15:58

there is a... PSA,

1:16:00

an enemy to PSA that the Walt Disney Company

1:16:02

did for some reason, aimed

1:16:04

at adults where Goofy is at a

1:16:07

cocktail party, bringing a coat and tie, and

1:16:09

he has too much to drink, and

1:16:12

then he gets in his car and he gets an accent.

1:16:14

No! What? Gosh!

1:16:17

What? He's a drink?

1:16:19

Goofy drink? Oh no! Did they book

1:16:21

him? I can't remember if

1:16:24

he... A picture of Goofy's head shot that's horrifying. I can't remember if he

1:16:26

had arrested. No! Well that would

1:16:28

be an animal getting justice. That would

1:16:30

be an animal getting justice. We would love

1:16:32

to see, even if it's Goofy, but if he broke the

1:16:34

law before... Is

1:16:37

your support group the reason why there was that

1:16:39

horse lawyer with those TV commercials that tried to

1:16:41

get it to be a thing? Yeah. Like have

1:16:44

you been traveling on a horse? Yeah. Oh

1:16:46

yeah. Because obviously... I have

1:16:48

very spurs. That's right. Very

1:16:50

spurs. I'm very spurs. Very spurs. Have

1:16:53

you been injured in a gambling accident? Have you been to Hawaii? Do you

1:16:55

hate horses? Saddle up with me and I'll get you your money. Do you

1:16:57

need a horse divorce? You

1:17:00

might have coined a phrase. I'm not sure.

1:17:02

I can't remember. No, I do. I

1:17:04

think so. Yeah, no. The

1:17:08

commercial always ended with him shoving a horse.

1:17:11

He would shove the horse out of

1:17:13

frame. Get out of here. And he crossed his arms.

1:17:15

Call me. And he crossed

1:17:17

his arms. That's right. Shove. It

1:17:20

had the slowest fate out of any commercial.

1:17:23

With his eyes narrowing like he couldn't see.

1:17:25

And I remember at the time... That

1:17:28

image burned into people's screams. Yeah,

1:17:31

that's right. You could still see it

1:17:33

like an old package. That's why

1:17:35

we all remember. First

1:17:38

so well. Yeah. Here

1:17:40

we go. Oh yeah, listen, Bert. It

1:17:43

was so lame because it was peculiar as hell. Piss

1:17:45

off the sound. Piss off the sound.

1:17:47

Piss off the sound. Piss

1:17:50

off the sound. Piss

1:17:53

off the sound. Piss off

1:17:55

the sound. That is so close. It

1:18:01

was pretty good. The real thing is

1:18:03

much worse. It sounds agonized. It's

1:18:06

not like the barrel that you're

1:18:08

describing the bullet. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:18:10

Imagine that going on for five

1:18:13

full minutes. So

1:18:15

it's every 15 minutes, but it

1:18:17

takes five minutes? That's correct. Yeah.

1:18:20

Every 15 minutes takes five minutes. That's

1:18:22

not going to last. That is not going to

1:18:24

last. Because it does

1:18:27

nonstop. Basically what is nonstop.

1:18:30

A very tiny respite from the south. So

1:18:33

I do think it's funny. We barely talked about the Dignaw dishes. But

1:18:36

I would love to know how the first one happened. Oh,

1:18:39

easy. It was my ex. Oh, good. Thank

1:18:41

goodness. I didn't want it to be

1:18:43

difficult. Yeah, thank you so much. I was terrified

1:18:45

it was going to be difficult. It's absolutely frozen

1:18:48

with fear. No,

1:18:50

it was easy because it was my ex. Oh,

1:18:52

that you were going to keep talking. Yes. It

1:18:55

was my ex from the poor James. But I

1:18:57

had never dinged on it. You had never dinged

1:18:59

on it in the past. No. So

1:19:02

what's happening? You're hanging around. This ex used to

1:19:04

tease you about your fear of horses. You

1:19:07

nailed it. Bernie nailed it. I get it.

1:19:09

I can see the whole thing. Oh, 100%. Do you

1:19:11

want to tell us? Well, correct me if I'm wrong.

1:19:15

So you and James, of course, now you've more

1:19:17

than overcome this fear and hatred. You

1:19:20

now love you have this. You both have this bond with.

1:19:23

Bond is united. And probably you get

1:19:25

to talking about how strange it is

1:19:27

that you said despise horses so much.

1:19:29

And now you love dimples. And

1:19:31

then it got you to thinking about this ex. Oh,

1:19:34

and then can I go? Yes. Oh, and

1:19:36

then you start saying, you know, wouldn't it be great if we could get

1:19:38

him back and dimples start nodding. OK,

1:19:40

OK. I didn't see that coming. OK. That's

1:19:43

exciting. That is it. I mean, are there cameras

1:19:45

in my house because this is crazy. There

1:19:50

probably are. Yeah, yeah, actually there should be. There

1:19:53

definitely is. Yeah, OK. Yeah,

1:19:55

it's 30,000 feet. You put in there.

1:19:57

Yeah, OK. It's enormous. So you kind

1:19:59

of. You

1:20:01

kind of get the sense that dimples is

1:20:04

sort of on board. Absolutely. So you all decide

1:20:06

in our head you've been drinking, is there a

1:20:08

little bit of alcohol involved? Okay. Three

1:20:11

sheets to the window. Oh, dimples as well. Oh, I'm not

1:20:13

sure that that's... Oh, I don't know about that. I'm not

1:20:16

sure about that. Not a lot. Oh, growl.

1:20:18

Okay. Oh, okay. Birds,

1:20:20

I guess it's fine. I mean, if a dog

1:20:22

can drink at a frat house, you know what

1:20:25

I mean? What? So, right. I

1:20:27

don't like that either. It's not a lot. We're

1:20:29

there. We're keeping eyes on him. Okay. You

1:20:32

know? So how far away was

1:20:34

the... But you're also drunk. Absolutely. We're keeping

1:20:37

eyes. All of them. So how long

1:20:39

did it take you to get there? Did you ride... Did one

1:20:41

of you ride the horse? Did you both ride

1:20:43

the horse? We both rode together. Okay. Which,

1:20:45

it was romantic. Sure. Sure. What

1:20:48

is a moment? Yeah, it's nice. It's

1:20:50

about, you know, my ex lives

1:20:52

on...clear the other side. So it was like a 45 minute. Where

1:20:55

does he live? On...the Earth? Oh,

1:20:59

he's on Franklin Pierce.

1:21:01

Oh, okay. Which we know is

1:21:03

a nasty... It's catchy parts of Franklin Pierce. Nasty

1:21:07

street. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just...there's

1:21:09

no street lights. It's because it's all bachelors

1:21:11

and so it's just disgusting. It's basically... It's

1:21:13

like a frat row, but worse. It's

1:21:15

called Little Bachelor Town. Little Bachelor Town. It's

1:21:17

exactly. It's just a little Bachelor Town. Little Batau. And

1:21:19

which we know is where all those bullies... That's a real

1:21:21

estate term. I can imagine. Oh, when

1:21:24

it comes in a house. Oh, when it comes in a

1:21:26

house. I can imagine. When it comes in I'm like, oh,

1:21:28

who wants a Little Batau property? Little Batau? Which

1:21:31

is crazy because the houses are

1:21:34

gorgeous. They used to be. They used

1:21:36

to be. They should be. It's just a

1:21:38

bad buy. Yeah, there's just a lot of... Like

1:21:41

the yards are littered with

1:21:43

just damp towels and dirty

1:21:45

magazines. Dirty. Dirty

1:21:47

filthy magazines. If you look in any of

1:21:49

those windows it's lawn chairs and the biggest

1:21:51

TV you've ever seen. And a

1:21:53

poster scarf. And a... And

1:21:56

Gatorade. Gatorade

1:22:00

galore. But you can't get jungle juice

1:22:02

over there if you want to. Which is

1:22:04

cool, because it's banned elsewhere.

1:22:07

So you're just like, you're riding

1:22:09

into Libertau, we're galloping over

1:22:11

together, and we're feeling great. Feeling

1:22:13

no pain. We get over, his name

1:22:20

is Chad, my ex. Of course it is.

1:22:22

Of course it is. Of course it is.

1:22:24

Of course it is. And we

1:22:27

get to Chad's, and we are,

1:22:30

I mean you can see it in the video. Sure. Oh,

1:22:33

so wait, the outpost was at

1:22:35

Chad's house? Yeah, Hannah is his wife. Oh,

1:22:38

but wait a minute, I thought oh, so he's living

1:22:40

in Libertau with a wife? Exactly.

1:22:42

Oh, that's gonna be scandal. Exactly.

1:22:44

He should be here. He's not

1:22:46

allowed. You're not allowed. You're not

1:22:48

allowed. In Libertau HOA will reign holy

1:22:50

hell down on him. It's not allowed. Wow.

1:22:53

So, frankly I'm so glad the post went

1:22:55

up, because I assume there's consequences to

1:22:57

be paid. Yeah, that is

1:23:00

me actually out of my

1:23:02

mind. So happy, drunk, bonded with

1:23:04

my husband. And a horse. And

1:23:07

a horse. Our best friend in

1:23:09

the world. He's our best friend more than

1:23:11

we're best friends. Wow.

1:23:13

Yes, we both feel

1:23:15

greater connection to him than each

1:23:17

other. Not romantically. Nothing weird. Very

1:23:19

interesting relationship. This is. Can I

1:23:22

ask you, Joan, can I

1:23:24

ask you, now that

1:23:28

you have gotten past your hatred

1:23:30

of horses, do you talk about

1:23:32

other things before and have you gotten to know

1:23:35

each other more? What a great question. You can

1:23:37

see why I had to get it. Yes, I mean,

1:23:39

yes. You didn't need to talk to me like I was a

1:23:41

1940s housewife. I'm

1:23:45

so glad you asked. Yes. Yes, it

1:23:48

has actually really moved us beyond. That's

1:23:50

one. I have learned so much about

1:23:52

my husband. Oh, that's lovely. Where he's

1:23:54

from. Oh, this

1:23:57

was new info. Where is he? from?

1:24:00

So he's from Hawaii. Oh

1:24:02

yeah. Yeah so he's from Hawaii. But

1:24:06

you can do tech anywhere so it was easy for him

1:24:08

to move to Hawaii. Tech is mobile. What kind of tech

1:24:10

it is? It doesn't matter. There's no

1:24:12

need. It's expected to be really anywhere. So yeah

1:24:16

so I learned where he's from, kind of his

1:24:18

whole family, that he has one. Oh okay.

1:24:21

So many cool things. Oh that's wonderful.

1:24:23

Likes, dislikes, shows he likes to watch.

1:24:26

Wow. It was really profound for us.

1:24:28

And we, I mean because we had

1:24:30

tried couples counseling, we just couldn't figure

1:24:32

out a way to get to know

1:24:35

each other. The counselor, what did the

1:24:37

counselor have to say? When you showed

1:24:39

us together and said, all

1:24:42

we really talked about is how much we ate

1:24:44

horse. And you know what she couldn't do that

1:24:46

counselor is say, tell it to the horse. Oh

1:24:49

that's true. She probably wanted to.

1:24:51

I was telling it was a woman for some

1:24:53

reason. I said woman.

1:24:56

Oh you did. I did. She said

1:24:58

she. Okay. That's what I'm talking about.

1:25:00

Well the counselor at the playback, the tape.

1:25:03

The counselor. She, well I

1:25:05

will be, to be very, to be honest she

1:25:08

didn't let us finish the session. She,

1:25:10

she was not understanding. Wow. She

1:25:12

said this is absolutely my nightmare.

1:25:14

You broke her. She said this

1:25:16

is my nightmare. You

1:25:19

are really my counselor. Can you imagine?

1:25:21

I'm a radiotherapist after that. I guarantee you for

1:25:23

an emergency session. Oh sure. Oh yeah. Imagine a

1:25:26

therapist saying to you, you are my nightmare.

1:25:28

It hurt. It

1:25:30

hurt. You are. Absolutely.

1:25:32

Holy shit. Where do you go from

1:25:34

there? Oh boy. Well knower, we said well we

1:25:37

tried. Back to horses and so. And you know

1:25:39

horse therapy is also very much a thing and

1:25:41

it's weird that that's what ended up working for

1:25:43

you. I know. That horse really brought you all

1:25:46

together. Truly. Truly. It's a really, it's a actually

1:25:48

incredibly beautiful love story. And I'm so grateful that

1:25:50

you came here today to tell it to us.

1:25:52

Yes. That's what I'm so excited to. And this

1:25:54

is why we love you know meeting new people

1:25:57

and hearing new stories. Definitely haven't heard a story

1:25:59

like that. like that. No!

1:26:04

And I would hope that as people around

1:26:06

town get doorbell ditched.

1:26:08

Ding dong ditch. Okay. So now they have some

1:26:10

context. And I hope you see. Can they come

1:26:13

out and say hi to you? No. Okay. Oh

1:26:15

that's not a ditch. That's not a ditch. That's

1:26:17

true. That's the end

1:26:20

of the story. Okay so I guess

1:26:22

just be aware everybody that is a

1:26:25

very happy trio of an

1:26:27

odd, I guess not an odd couple, but an

1:26:29

odd trio. An odd ruffle. It's an odd ruffle.

1:26:34

I think it's beautiful. And I wanted to

1:26:36

share that. So I really appreciate having the

1:26:38

opportunity to give people a little insight. We're

1:26:40

not pranking really. We're not being mean. We're

1:26:42

not like those bully boys. You're

1:26:44

kind of healing is what you're doing. Yeah. Okay. So

1:26:48

people get very upset about ding dong ditches and I don't think it's

1:26:50

that big a deal. I don't think older

1:26:52

people like to be made the fool and it was usually

1:26:54

kids who would do it. You know, right. Have

1:26:57

I turned you back around? Okay. Well

1:26:59

don't ding dong ditch first. Okay. I will

1:27:02

not. Well Wendy is there, is there anything

1:27:04

we loved having you on here and is

1:27:06

there anything you'd like to say to people

1:27:08

that might potentially get ding dong ditched by

1:27:10

you James and Dimples? I'll say

1:27:12

what my favorite comedian said to me. Her

1:27:17

favorite came meeting of course being dipples.

1:27:19

Sorry I cannot plug my horse. Oh

1:27:22

that's fine. That's a plug for dimples

1:27:24

everybody. You can follow him. Does he

1:27:26

have an interview? Absolutely. Of course. Ding

1:27:28

dong dimples. Okay. Follow him and he's

1:27:30

dong dimples. Makes a lot of sense.

1:27:32

Yeah. Thank you. Alright. We will

1:27:34

be back with more Deber Listen. When

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1:28:01

not just the sound of that first sip of

1:28:03

morning joe. It's the sound of someone shopping for

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a car on Carvana from the comfort of home.

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1:28:30

And I, this is Dan. Mm-mm-mm.

1:28:33

Recommendation for doctor

1:28:35

for food going down slowly slash

1:28:37

painfully. Hi, team. If

1:28:40

you have this, I have

1:28:42

usually liked more dry food like chicken

1:28:44

at center and go down so slow

1:28:46

and painful like on the snake. Also,

1:28:49

food comes back up occasionally, and

1:28:51

it's not acidic. Just

1:28:54

a chance to chew it up more

1:28:56

and swallow again usually. Thanks.

1:29:00

I've got 14 seconds. And

1:29:04

welcome back. Yes, sure. You guys had to

1:29:06

do it. Oh, perfect. There was a moment, and

1:29:08

I just went for it. We lock dyes. We

1:29:11

did. Like Wendy and Jimples. Oh, boy. And

1:29:14

then you knew. But I'm fully close. As am

1:29:16

I. Just to be clear. Yeah, we have not

1:29:18

eaten each other's clothes off. And

1:29:21

then you, I think we communicated that you would do

1:29:23

it. Yes, I think we did. We psychically

1:29:25

agreed. I think we did. Psychically agreed. Yes, and

1:29:27

he did a great job. And we're

1:29:29

back. Thank you so much. And that was

1:29:32

a fascinating story to hear. A horse

1:29:34

tail. It was a horse tail, Joan. It

1:29:38

really was. It really was. You're nailing it

1:29:40

left and right. Thank you. I

1:29:42

thought she was fascinating. What

1:29:44

a delightful person. She really was a

1:29:46

delightful person. And I almost kind

1:29:48

of wish they come and ding dong ditch us, but she said we

1:29:50

can't answer because then it ruins it for them. That's true. I

1:29:53

guess, you know, we'll just, we'll just admire

1:29:55

them from the window. You could, exactly. You could

1:29:58

peek from an upstairs window. you

1:30:00

could do that. Yeah. I did.

1:30:03

Sometimes the soft slippers are nailed

1:30:05

into the feet. Yes,

1:30:09

that's right. Apparently that's nothing we learned that there are

1:30:11

soft slippers horseshoes. Nice to know. Horse

1:30:13

slippers. I guess. Horse

1:30:15

slippers. Horse

1:30:18

slippers. And

1:30:22

just to make good on my promise, because

1:30:24

I just needed to familiarize myself, I

1:30:26

haven't been in an audition in a very long time. But what

1:30:28

I did with Master Puppets, if you must know, was sort of

1:30:31

make it like a very Tori Amos sort of moment. So

1:30:33

it was like... Oh, I love when you make a song in a moment. Master,

1:30:37

master, master

1:30:39

of puppets and pulling strings. You know, could

1:30:42

you have to have a pop voice now

1:30:44

to get in a lot of musicals?

1:30:46

Oh, yeah. Master. I'm... Yes. Master. I

1:30:53

wish you would go back and just

1:30:55

redo all the old classics. Yes. That

1:31:00

voice. Oh, right. Like... How

1:31:05

about that? What song was that? That

1:31:08

was Girls Just Want to Have Fun.

1:31:10

Oh. Didn't even recognize it. Goils.

1:31:13

I'm not sure. Goils

1:31:16

is wonderful. Do you think... Do you think Sidney Lough heard? She

1:31:22

was doing a medieval accent too. I was trying to do

1:31:25

medieval. I mean, I was trying to do Sidney Lough. No,

1:31:27

I know you weren't. Okay. We're

1:31:30

talking about three things at the same time. Okay. And

1:31:33

it's exciting. I like it. One

1:31:36

toykily. Nave.

1:31:40

Oh, boy. There he

1:31:43

is getting ready for

1:31:45

the Ren Faire again. That does

1:31:47

not exist anymore. That is anchored on

1:31:49

the table. Yes. The oak top table. Well,

1:31:52

we have time for one more post. We do. And let me tell

1:31:54

you, this is a quick little post that just caught my eye

1:31:56

because it just... It made

1:31:58

me happy. laugh.

1:32:00

This post comes from Gina B.

1:32:02

Gina B. Gina B. One name.

1:32:04

No, I'm sorry. I guess I should

1:32:08

just say Gina. It's okay. I mean, it's just

1:32:10

B period. B period.

1:32:12

Gina B. Period. So this

1:32:16

just says, ready? Looking for a

1:32:18

post of someone finding a wallet. Hmm.

1:32:21

The end? No, does that

1:32:23

the end? Period. Does

1:32:25

that just indicate she's

1:32:27

looking for a wallet, but not when the third? Yes.

1:32:31

I mean, the way to word that

1:32:33

would be, has anyone found my wallet?

1:32:35

Yes. I'm Gina B. Correct. I'm Gina

1:32:37

B. And perhaps if you're smart, put your

1:32:39

full last name, because if you really have lost

1:32:41

your wallet, let's really get confirmation. But instead, this

1:32:43

makes it sound like she wants to find a

1:32:45

post of someone looking for a wallet. She will

1:32:47

go hunting for that wallet. Exactly. Never give that

1:32:49

wallet back. She's going to

1:32:51

say, she's hoping. Here

1:32:54

we go. She's hoping someone's going to say,

1:32:56

yes, I did find a wallet. Oh, but

1:32:58

I thought that the person whose wallet it

1:33:00

is, is named Mark

1:33:03

Hampton. And then she'll say, Oh, that's

1:33:05

me. Gina B. Is

1:33:07

just my screen name. Oh,

1:33:10

you're right. Because it's not someone looking for a wallet. It's someone

1:33:12

finding a wallet. Yes. I'm definitely Mark Hampton who lost a

1:33:14

wallet. With

1:33:16

just a finger as a mustache over. Oh, I'm

1:33:18

Mark Hampton. I'm doing it for everybody that can't

1:33:20

see it. But now is this where she shows up to

1:33:22

collect the wallet? I mean,

1:33:24

I don't mean that it's really going to happen. I just

1:33:26

thought that'd be silly. I don't think it's

1:33:29

really going to happen. Goofy. Goofy predates

1:33:31

the character, by the way. I looked

1:33:33

it up. It's not predates the character. Of course that

1:33:36

would make sense. Yeah. All right. Well,

1:33:38

you never know. It started out as Dippy

1:33:40

Dog. That's right. I didn't know that. Why

1:33:42

didn't they stick with that? It's

1:33:45

better than Goofy. Remember that like we can't

1:33:47

get this word. You think it's better as a

1:33:49

name. Really? I would rather my name be Dippy

1:33:51

than Goofy. Maybe

1:33:54

they were trying to get the word Dippy going

1:33:56

and they're going, this isn't going to happen. They're

1:33:58

really trying to make Dippy happen. You know

1:34:00

what, he's more goofy than Dippy, I think he's just called Goofy.

1:34:04

Oh, he's flying on the wall. Well, Gina, I mean,

1:34:06

best of luck to you, finding someone

1:34:08

else's wallet. Very specific spam. Or maybe,

1:34:11

it really, really is a specific spam. It's

1:34:13

bold. It is bold because it just feels very obvious. It's

1:34:15

like... It really does. Looking for

1:34:17

anyone finding a wallet, if you find it,

1:34:19

is mine. Let

1:34:24

me know, in fact, just send it to my house. No

1:34:28

questions? No questions answered? The address on the

1:34:30

wall... No questions asked. The license is not

1:34:32

the same as the address. No questions asked.

1:34:34

No questions given. All right. Sometimes

1:34:38

there's just really fun things like that on this

1:34:40

app. It's just why we do this. Joan,

1:34:42

you're absolutely right. Sometimes, there's just really

1:34:44

fun things like that. There

1:34:47

doesn't have to be more to it. No, there really doesn't have

1:34:49

to be more to it. Why are we tying ourselves in knots?

1:34:52

Well, I thought also this particular episode needed just

1:34:54

a short and sweet post because we really got

1:34:56

into it. It was a real deep horse dive.

1:34:58

Do you remember that movie about horse diving? Of course I

1:35:01

do. Was that not wild? Wild hearts can't be broken. Wild

1:35:03

hearts can't be broken. Boy, I had such a crush

1:35:05

on that. Was it Paul Sheffield? He also was in 16

1:35:07

candles. Mark Hampton? No. He was in

1:35:09

16 candles? He was a guy. He was Jake in 16

1:35:11

candles. What? So he did two movies? He

1:35:14

did two movies. Wow. And

1:35:16

Cliff Robertson was in this and

1:35:18

Gabrielle Anwar, who was famous for the

1:35:20

scent of a woman, Tango.

1:35:26

That's right. He really all just said, hoo-ah. And

1:35:29

it was a real thing. In

1:35:32

fact, she was a real person. Yes.

1:35:36

There was a real on the steel pier in Atlantic City.

1:35:39

There was a real person who would ride on the

1:35:41

peck of a horse, jump off of a platform. So

1:35:43

many feet up, by the way. Into a pool. Into

1:35:46

a pool. How did that ever come to be? Who

1:35:48

even thought of it? Was

1:35:50

there somebody doing this before and then she was

1:35:52

the new hire? Yes. The idea

1:35:54

was she did it. It was. That's

1:35:56

true. It was an existing thing. In the

1:35:58

movie, it was Penelope Ann Miller first. Why

1:36:02

are we focusing on this one person? Well, we should

1:36:04

be focusing on the person who has the idea to

1:36:06

do this in the first place. The reason

1:36:08

why is because she went blind, remember? She had

1:36:10

her eyes open and she had a different horse

1:36:12

got spooked right as it was running up to

1:36:14

jump. So they weren't in

1:36:16

sync and she had her eyes open and

1:36:19

it blinded her. And she

1:36:21

continued to horse dive after she was

1:36:23

blind, everybody. Well, that's a sunken fallacy. No, I'm

1:36:25

sorry. That's the story. Yeah. Wait,

1:36:27

what did you say? Sunk cost fallacy. Sunk

1:36:29

cost fallacy? Sunk cost fallacy. Why can't I understand

1:36:32

what that is? We went

1:36:34

through a last episode, I think. Don't

1:36:37

touch her hand through her headphones to

1:36:39

make sure she was hearing it correctly,

1:36:43

as if there was a sort of

1:36:45

booth that could explain her. Hang

1:36:48

on. I'm getting something. Hang on. They're

1:36:50

telling me it's sunk cost fallacy. I

1:36:55

think there might be a delay. You're breaking up. You're

1:36:57

saying, you know what? I've already been blinded by

1:36:59

the horse. I might as well keep

1:37:02

doing it. But can you spell it? Is it sunk

1:37:04

cost? S-U-N-K. Okay, great. Okay, got it. Got it. Yes.

1:37:07

Do we really already talk about it on the very last episode? We

1:37:09

did. I feel the fool. You've

1:37:11

already put a bunch of money into it and so you feel like, I

1:37:13

guess I better keep paying money because

1:37:15

I did this already. Good money after

1:37:17

bad. Good money after bad. When it's

1:37:19

really like, just say that your losses

1:37:21

just say you lost that money. Well,

1:37:23

then say that. Yes, don't keep pouring

1:37:25

money into it. Now

1:37:28

I've been taken down by

1:37:30

this phrase twice. I'm embarrassed. Although,

1:37:33

this is a tongue twister. Sunk cost fallacy.

1:37:35

Thank you. Fuck. Dangleberry.

1:37:39

Dangleberry. I forgot that

1:37:41

he doesn't know how to swear. Galleon. This

1:37:43

is why he doesn't. Galleon. Galleon. Is

1:37:45

that even standing in for anything? No.

1:37:49

Is that sitting in for onion? I don't

1:37:51

think he knows what a stallion is. I don't think he knows

1:37:53

what a stallion is. I don't think onion and polite company. Dirt

1:37:55

head. Dirt head? Dirt head. Dirt

1:37:58

head. Boy, you really knew. someone to the wall

1:38:00

with that one. Sounds like Doug

1:38:03

is regretting. I think it's getting

1:38:05

worse. I never realized

1:38:07

I can't swear right. And this is why

1:38:09

it bothers you because you just hear it

1:38:11

and it just sounds wrong to you because you

1:38:13

don't know what an actual swear is. I like us all to get

1:38:15

along. Okay. I would do. I

1:38:18

don't think that's on the table as an argument. I

1:38:20

think we all want to get along. Well, if we

1:38:22

were all swearing all day, I don't know if we'd get along. I

1:38:25

think we would. Of course we would. We would get along a

1:38:27

lot better because I would swear and you wouldn't say it. Yo. Darling.

1:38:31

You know, whenever you give me a... Uncanny.

1:38:33

Yeah. That comes

1:38:36

with married life, I suppose. It does. You

1:38:38

can do flawless versions of each other. All right. Well, we have

1:38:40

to go and goodbye. Oh, and bye. All

1:38:46

of the posts used in this episode were real.

1:38:48

Only some geographical specifics have been changed. The

1:38:50

neighborhood lesson is hosted and produced by

1:38:52

me. Paul F. Tompkins. And me, Nicole

1:38:54

Parker. And me, Brett Morris. This

1:38:56

episode's guest was played by Jessica Jane Jarnon.

1:38:59

The Neighborhood Listen is a production of Comedy Bang

1:39:01

Bang World. Go to cbbworld.com

1:39:03

to unlock the entire history of the

1:39:05

show ad-free and as well as dead

1:39:07

to old, smoke-through episodes exclusive to National