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1:03

Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins. And I'm

1:05

Nicole Parker. On this podcast, we improvise

1:07

in character using real posts from a

1:09

popular neighborhood networking website. Occasionally, we

1:11

change the names of some streets. And

1:13

that's all you need to know. To support

1:15

the show and unlock the ad-free archive, as

1:18

well as exclusive monthly episodes of the Bonus

1:20

Room, go to cbbworld.com and sign up for

1:22

a Maximus membership. And now, please enjoy

1:24

this episode of The Neighborhood

1:26

Listen. Knock,

1:29

knock. Who's there? Your

1:31

neighbor. Good. In

1:33

Dignity Falls, you're never alone. You've

1:36

got the NeighborHalf app. And us. Burn.

1:38

And Joan. From coyotes to mail theft

1:40

to weird things to sell, we'll cover

1:43

it all. And meet new neighbors as

1:45

well. We'll chat about any posts you're

1:47

missing. So just tune in to

1:50

The Neighborhood Listen. Welcome

1:56

back to The Neighborhood Listen. This is your

1:58

look at the neighborhood. of the Dignity

2:00

Falls and we are your tour guides to

2:03

residents of the neighborhood of Dignity Falls. My

2:05

name is Burnt Mia Payday. I am a

2:07

pharmacist here and with me as always is...

2:09

Joan Pedestrian and I am a realtor here. You went with

2:11

the tour guide sing again Burnt. I think it's really fun.

2:13

I feel like I'm refining it. Oh good.

2:15

There we go. Yeah. Just always chasing

2:18

the perfect intro. Oh it

2:20

is and you know what what I love about it is

2:23

I'll never get there because it is the journey

2:25

not the destination. That is true and you know

2:27

what the day that we decide it's perfect and we

2:29

stop learning we stop living right? I mean

2:31

like we just dropped in. That's terrifying.

2:35

Inside maybe our story idea. I can't

2:37

hear myself anymore. Oh yeah. I wish

2:41

I could remember which my hope is this

2:43

one. You stop learning. Oh

2:45

that's definitely mine. That's yours. I'm so

2:47

sorry. I apologize. Is that good level

2:49

for you? Yes. Okay that's me.

2:51

There we go. I'm so sorry Joan. This is like

2:53

live theater. It's why I love live theater. Oh

2:55

live theater where they have to constantly adjust knobs

2:57

and levels. When

3:00

you go see a production of King Lear and they

3:02

start blowing the wind and it says that's too loud.

3:04

Turn the wind down a little bit. Like now I

3:06

can barely hear it. Very

3:08

immortal bar. We mentioned Shakespeare a lot on the show. We

3:11

do. I think that makes

3:13

sense. We mentioned theater in general on the

3:15

show. It's because of me. I can't believe

3:17

I haven't. I was remiss last episode.

3:19

I didn't ask you how is Herlett

3:21

going. Oh thank you so much. That's

3:23

right. That was another thing that we had

3:26

had promised everybody that we would

3:29

talk about. And did we? Hey.

3:31

No we didn't. We didn't. Wait

3:34

first let's check in with Doug. Hey babe.

3:37

How are you doing? I hear you in the background.

3:39

What is going on? Where are you? Oh

3:41

I'm busy. Okay that's not an

3:43

answer. Where am I? Never heard

3:45

Doug say that before. Where? We

3:48

never heard him say he's busy. I'm

3:50

really excited about this one. He said he's very

3:53

frantic. He said two words and I'm excited about

3:55

this one. Two words. Actually is it two words?

3:57

Oh now could you? Two words one hyphen. Mini

4:03

golf. Oh

4:05

you've built a mini golf course in the

4:07

house? Building. Oh

4:10

you're building it. In the hybrid. Indoor

4:14

outdoor? Wow. How many holes

4:16

are you gonna be doing the full 18? Full 18. Does

4:20

it start? How is there gonna be room? I

4:22

just don't understand. Well this is so does it

4:24

start indoors then take you outdoors and then take

4:26

you back indoors? Yes. Oh that sounds fun. I

4:28

mean it does sound fun but my goodness. This

4:30

is a wild shot in the

4:32

dark. When you

4:34

go when you're inside is there a haunted element

4:36

to it? I think there

4:38

should be. Yeah. I immediately saw that

4:42

on my mind that there was a darkened corridor

4:44

you have to go down. Yeah.

4:46

You have to make a shot. I

4:48

think it should be very scary. Like

4:54

people on high adult levels.

4:56

Hired actors. Hired actors. Yes.

4:58

Physically grabbing you. Well you're

5:01

thinking about falls. So the ghouls can touch you. Which

5:03

is like falls golf because falls

5:05

golf is our mini course and they do

5:07

it entirely a terrifying haunted one. Yes. At

5:10

Halloween. Yeah. And I mean it

5:12

really is just honestly people there's

5:14

really no boundaries whatsoever. Yeah. Because there's nowhere

5:16

to really hide. Yeah. You know it's just

5:18

people running around and they chase you. Yours bothers me.

5:20

Yeah they just chase you. It's not only do they scare

5:23

you but when you're trying to make a shot they just

5:25

kick the ball. Yes they do. Yes they do. It's like

5:27

why do that? It's more terrifying to some

5:29

some citizens than actual monsters. Yeah.

5:31

You know. The worst is. It's

5:34

mostly mind games. Yeah mostly the falls

5:36

golf Halloween. Why would a werewolf give

5:38

a werewolf care if you made a

5:40

shot. The most sadistic thing about that

5:42

place. It's just a werewolf standing coughing

5:44

right when you're about to butt. Yeah.

5:47

But also if they see you're about to

5:49

hit a hole in one they

5:52

wait till the last inch and

5:54

they run and they hit it.

5:57

Terrible. No. Terrifying. No.

6:00

The holes, the thing I don't like is the

6:02

holes themselves are just very lazy. There's

6:04

just no creativity at all to the fault. What about

6:06

the actual holes that the balls go in? I thought,

6:08

well how can a hole be? Is

6:10

there anything lazier than a hole? Literally

6:13

just sitting there? I mean... Just

6:16

collecting shit. You mean the design of the court.

6:18

Because it's like... It's sort of around the world

6:20

design and you get to Holland and it's like there's a chalk

6:28

drawing of a windmill on

6:31

the green? It's not even... There's

6:34

no obstacle. A windmill has been murdered. Yes.

6:36

Yes, it's chalk outline of a windmill. And

6:39

they say, can you solve the crime? And there's no further

6:42

information. And then you just make the hole in the middle.

6:44

There's a lot of windmill on windmill crime in Holland.

6:46

If people don't know that, then it's really true.

6:48

Almost everything you said is in Holland. In

6:50

Holland? There's a lot of windmill on windmill

6:52

crime in Holland. In Holland. I can see that.

6:55

I can see that. Do you think they get confused for each other a lot? I

6:58

do not actually. Boy, are they different.

7:05

But yes, thank you for asking. Burton

7:07

was asking about my one woman production of

7:09

Hamlet called Herlet. And I did

7:11

a Southern Illinois tour. That

7:13

was why we went on a little break. Treaties in Southern

7:16

Illinois. Treaties in Southern Illinois. I

7:18

know that that was not intelligible. I'm sorry. You

7:21

still have a lot of sproon. I

7:24

have a lot of... Yes. Treaties in

7:27

here, Demi Falls, is called sproon. And I'm really deep in

7:29

the thick of sproon fever. Joan, you say no every

7:31

time. But if you want that really good stuff, I

7:33

can give it to you. Well, you know, I was

7:35

really hopped up on my own meds last week. What is

7:37

this stuff that you've got? This is the

7:39

stuff that's not on the market, per se.

7:41

I don't like those words. It has been

7:43

FDA approved. What? But

7:46

they're waiting to unveil it. But this

7:48

is false dignity approved, right? Yeah,

7:50

that's right. Not the Federal... Not the Food and Drug

7:52

Administration. False common

7:54

dignity approved. It's the

7:56

town council and there's stupid

7:58

robes. You

8:01

know, Other Guys: Yeah, this is. So what is

8:03

it? Again, What Is it? com? Which is extremely

8:05

controversial are because it is. It

8:07

was. Absolutely.

8:10

Remove your allergy symptoms. Little.

8:13

The why you're completely normal day. It

8:16

will shorten always by to. Take

8:20

us. At so I've

8:22

heard. Of

8:25

Germans year term answer. What

8:28

Are you? Mad you take it

8:31

every day, twice a day that you

8:33

could really wrap. It up. but that's the beauty

8:35

of a you don't have to take it every day.

8:37

Oh okay. his last a week. Boy I

8:39

wish you could take a ten minutes that have already happened

8:41

and is the race that you know and I mean. of

8:43

this possessed I want my low or

8:46

roughly. Get ten minutes. I'd like back snow and people

8:48

like all. I love that our my life back which is

8:50

also kind of a dumb thing to say because. Overdiagnosis:

8:53

It is in the past as I could happen. Nodes are can

8:55

happen and what are you to do that anywhere? Mitnick

8:57

nuts says that all the time. yet reviewers that's

8:59

our town credit could just so mean and he's

9:01

been mean to me and in my community or

9:04

soldiers. And him options in a live show as a letter.

9:06

With seventy five minutes, I'm never gonna get back.

9:08

Yeah you know sometimes as about the

9:10

seeking a lazy whole. Screen

9:12

only you'll miss. We got. Real

9:15

say some any always as seventy five minutes to

9:17

matter the running time with no matter no

9:19

matter it's. True. Ah, but you know what?

9:21

I keep her lit at it's height. Sixty

9:24

nine minutes because I want an extra minute

9:26

for mid so saving of a sudden. Oh

9:29

sure it out. Of

9:31

those, the dominoes all happened yet none yet,

9:33

despite just. You know,

9:35

I just wanna keep him a window for. As

9:41

beautiful as a citizen, where do you think

9:43

they would fall versus insane? Well as those

9:45

who only me. I. Like that it's on the

9:47

know is that after to be are not to be

9:49

bring after that's a little corner with am and after

9:51

dead paprika. Oh sure

9:53

that I had an yes.

9:55

I put it in because you know, I just sword

9:58

fight with myself completely. So I turned it into. a

10:00

sort of tap break, a

10:02

tap fight if you will. You were experimenting

10:04

with doing the two characters like

10:06

the sort of old carnival side. But I already

10:08

did that when I played... When

10:11

you did Gypsy and Sound of Music.

10:13

Sound of Music and I played... Maria

10:16

Mamaro. Half Mamaro and half

10:18

Maria, none. But

10:20

I did a Zoom meeting with

10:22

Fargo Community Source Theater.

10:25

Community Source Theater. I know, I was confused

10:28

too. What does that mean? It

10:30

basically means that you have to make your

10:32

own sets. They

10:35

put on the show based on things they

10:37

find in the community including people, including costume

10:39

pieces. I mean that's... Okay

10:42

but that's how community theater works. I know,

10:44

I just think they added the word source so it

10:46

would sound more civically minded. Do

10:48

you know what I'm saying? I mean I think it was...

10:50

There were communities in there. Listen, you're talking to me like I named it.

10:52

I didn't. I know. It's not my idea.

10:55

Of course I'm not taking... I don't mean to

10:57

be taking this out on you. But

11:00

it does seem like they're... Just because I said it doesn't mean I

11:02

came up with it. Yes. Okay Joan,

11:04

okay. Oh. What's going

11:07

on? You don't have to come in and give

11:09

me a whoa, okay? I'm just worried. Maybe you should take

11:11

that 10 minute drug. You

11:15

want me, your wife, to take the drug that

11:17

will kill me 10 minutes sooner? That's

11:19

a suspicious name. I don't want that. I'm telling you it's not

11:21

a good look. But the problem is... You

11:23

need that pill. I want that

11:25

pill. The problem is... Remember

11:28

the I

12:00

kind of said it. I hear it like a mustang

12:02

Sally sort of song. Yeah. Got

12:05

a cantilever. Oh, okay. Got a cantilever.

12:08

Yeah, okay. All right. A

12:10

cantilever would just be a good one. Sure, a cantilever.

12:12

He would just be really nice. And made it a

12:14

verb. Yes, he did. I simply have to cantilever. Anyways,

12:17

the Zoom meeting went fine. It

12:19

devolved into me ending up doing the whole production for them.

12:28

Unfortunately, it was one of those Zooms where it cuts off.

12:31

And so it cut off right before I was going to

12:33

get to the final moment. So I

12:36

have not heard back from them,

12:38

which is not a great feeling.

12:41

So I don't know what's going on with them.

12:44

I'm not sure if they're busy or they're

12:46

building their season. And I'm going to do a

12:48

follow-up. Don't look too desperate. I'm going to wait another week. And

12:52

it's a dance. It's just a dance. This business

12:54

is a dance. Right. Speaking

12:56

of dancing. Yeah. Are

12:58

you going to go to Spring Zoom this year? Spring

13:00

Zoom? Yes. That's where

13:03

it's in the gymnasium of the high school. And

13:05

it's a silent dance party where everyone

13:07

is connected to one Zoom. Oh,

13:09

that's right. You know what? I was

13:12

picturing Z-O-O-N. You're talking about Z-O-N-Z. The Community

13:14

Zoos. Right? The Community Zoos.

13:16

Yeah. Yes, got it. It's

13:18

the last one in America. And they

13:20

have a multi-jack. It's wild. Wow. There's

13:23

so many adapters. There's so many adapters. There's

13:25

so many adapters. I worry. It's

13:28

a safety hazard. Sure. It's

13:30

so much rock. It rocks. I love

13:32

it. I wasn't planning on it. But were you going to go,

13:34

Bern? I've never been. And I thought I would try it this

13:36

time. Really? Are you going to go to the

13:38

gang? Oh, Gabby. Yeah. And

13:41

the gang, too. Well, but I wanted to ask you this. He

13:44

doesn't work there anymore. He works with the ball. But now they

13:46

all work with the ball? Yes. Yes. So

13:48

CVS, we never have to mention again. Sorry. I

13:51

forgot. I'm not supposed to mention CVS ever again. It's a

13:53

very good question. I forgot. I'm not supposed to mention

13:55

CVS ever again. And a lot of

13:57

times people will find that if they've had a

13:59

gang of friends. that they always see and hang

14:01

out with. That's right, I'm doing sort of a lifting

14:04

a glass of ale to my friend. That's

14:06

right. I couldn't think of the word. Bernie,

14:09

you always have an old timey word that I can't get. That's

14:11

on the tip of my tongue and I really appreciate that about

14:13

you. But I was making

14:15

that gesture because a lot of times, sometimes a guy's

14:17

friend roasts him because now he's got a girlfriend and

14:19

he doesn't hang out with him anymore. Are you experiencing

14:22

that or no? Well, I think

14:24

we're sort of past that age. Okay, well I don't

14:26

know. I mean the other guys have, you know, they

14:28

have... If you're never too old to fall in love,

14:30

you're never too old to be razzed by your buddies about it. That's

14:33

very true. I mean it's a mixed group so there

14:35

are people with spouses and I'm kind of the only,

14:38

I think I'm the only unmarried one left. Oh, alright.

14:40

So there was no change in any way

14:42

with them, I'm assuming. No, they didn't roast me

14:44

for that. They did roast me for that year that

14:46

I didn't wear shoes. Now, why

14:48

was that? Well, you know, I heard

14:50

an interview with this Thomas Jane and

14:53

he doesn't wear shoes. The Punisher? The Punisher.

14:56

And he, you know, he was

14:59

filming this show, this show called Hung About a

15:01

Man with a Cute Penis. Oh,

15:03

I remember that. Yes. That was a

15:06

show that happened. He inexplicably ran for multiple

15:08

seasons and I've never

15:10

spoken to anyone who's seen Two Seconds of

15:12

Him. But he, there were

15:14

pictures, I remember seeing pictures of him because

15:16

he said he doesn't wear shoes and there

15:19

were pictures of him filming something in

15:21

New York City and he's walking around barefoot because

15:23

I guess... Oh, no. He couldn't see his

15:25

shoes in the shot and so

15:27

he's just barefoot in New York City.

15:29

Why? Why ever, whatever for? Well,

15:32

that's the thing. I wanted to know

15:34

what it felt like. But you, so,

15:36

okay, then please tell me because obviously you liked it

15:38

because you did it for a year. No,

15:41

it was horrible. I did it for a year because

15:43

I thought it's got to get better. Oh, birth. And

15:45

it never did. And I gave myself one calendar year

15:47

and then at the end I said that was a

15:49

terrible experience. Oh my gosh. I'm

15:51

surprised that I don't... Pharmacy, that must not

15:53

be named, did not have a problem with

15:55

the sort of... What's the word

15:57

I'm looking for? It's not old timey, but... Just

16:01

the health hazards of that, the health

16:03

risks. You know I skirted my way around that

16:05

a little bit. I

16:07

did apply several layers

16:09

of self-tanner to my feet to

16:12

the point where they were like a nice

16:14

light brown. That's also not good. Yeah, so

16:16

people didn't notice. Didn't notice. Well

16:19

because they blended in with that very

16:21

dirty carpet with blood stains. All

16:23

right. Well they did grow the maroon carpet to

16:25

hide the blood. Fair

16:27

enough. Yeah. They

16:29

darkened the carpet to cover the blood from

16:31

the many saber accidents that you

16:34

had. Well there was just one but we

16:36

thought well could happen again. Definitely

16:38

could happen again. Well I find that

16:40

shocking. I didn't know you then of

16:42

course but you know that if you

16:44

came into my house with those dirty

16:46

weird feet that

16:49

were painted, that shouldn't be painted

16:51

and clearly must

16:54

have had blisters and all sorts of things on them.

16:56

Oh everything you can imagine. I would have said you

16:58

put on shoes right now. We are not doing this.

17:00

Which usually doesn't happen in homes. Usually it's the opposite.

17:02

People want you to take your shoes off.

17:05

That is true. I like when people ask

17:07

you know they see that you don't have your shoes on

17:09

in your own home and they say should I take my

17:11

shoes off and I would say I don't

17:13

care. I'm just at home. Oh

17:15

I understand. Yes that's right. Well

17:18

you know Doug hates having to do that because

17:20

he doesn't want to. I love

17:22

having. I love not tracking the day

17:24

and the outside into my

17:26

house but Doug likes to have the shoes on because he

17:28

wants to be ready. That's all he says. He wants to

17:30

be ready. I don't know what ready for. An intruder? I

17:32

don't know babe. What do you want to

17:35

be ready for? You never know when you just have to tear off. Tear

17:38

off? Wasn't expecting that answer. Great thing to hear

17:40

from his spouse. Actually

17:42

one that wants to be dead 10 minutes sooner.

17:44

But Doug I remember you also. You can tear

17:46

off so that you can't be framed for my

17:49

pill murder. I remember Doug you also once said

17:51

you consider socks to be underwear. I

17:54

don't remember that. Absolutely. Because it's something you

17:56

wear under your clothes and so it counts

17:58

in the underwear family. Yeah, where

18:00

do you find it on the shelves?

18:02

Yeah, right next to the underwear. It's true Well, you

18:04

got me there, babe So if you can see a

18:06

little bit of socks, you know, I have bought his

18:08

underwear and socks for the entirety of our 20 No

18:12

guy goes in and buys his own unless I

18:15

guess you're a bachelor But I mean that's absolutely

18:17

I'm surprised he just knows where they're located Just

18:20

because I've been buying them for so long Doug. Have

18:22

you secretly been buying socks and underwear? Wait,

18:24

have you been? No, I just I

18:26

know where they're I know where they

18:28

are Okay, and did you explore that aisle to

18:30

get closer to Joan so you could

18:32

picture her going there? No Because

18:35

he knew I was gonna be gone sooner than later if I

18:37

take that pill and he needs to know where to go Buy

18:39

it stuff. You think this has been Very

18:42

weirded out about this. I gotta be honest.

18:44

I did not mean it in any way.

18:46

Okay To

18:49

feel so bad Oh Translation is

18:51

I would like this fruit fever to stop

18:53

laughing I already have to deal with a

18:55

period that's what he's saying. I'm guaranteeing you

18:59

Doug is this true? No Like

19:02

me that a woman would take a

19:04

pillow would eliminate her period for the rest of time

19:07

But she gets a look at ten minutes less of

19:09

life. They would all be like sign me up Doug

19:11

Are you working on your tight five? No,

19:15

but I am What

19:24

did he say I missed it what he just started

19:27

talking about Okay. Well, that's we have

19:29

no Joan. What if you did like a sort of

19:31

a stand-up act

19:33

as a man Doing

19:35

material about your your nagging

19:38

wife or whatever? Oh, that would be

19:40

great I would like to point counterpoint though because you

19:42

know, I love to play to people at the same

19:44

time So maybe I would do you know what I

19:46

would do. Here's what I would do. I would do

19:48

I would run it in repertory I would do one

19:50

night the guy and his Stand-up

19:53

you and then the next night I'd be the

19:55

wife with the comeback. How about that? What if

19:57

you did it? like

20:00

pretending that I'm a man. I don't want to write man jokes

20:02

that are going to get laughs. I would still want to come

20:04

back as a female and have a comeback. I say

20:06

you do it same night. That's

20:08

a great idea. First act, second act. Two different sets. Oh,

20:10

I love it. And they're married. Of

20:13

course. The two comedians. Yes, I was already there. Okay.

20:15

With a minute for standing O. With

20:17

a minute for standing O. Which happens all the time at

20:19

stand O. Yeah, he could be doing his...

20:22

I'm assuming. And then so he could

20:24

come out and it's almost like it would be

20:26

an ask and an answer joke. You know, he

20:28

would be like, oh, and she's always changing her

20:30

tampon, you know, and then I would come out

20:32

and I'd be like, well, I have to. And

20:34

I, you know, I have to be fast about

20:36

it. Because if a woman was as fast about

20:38

it, we'd lose half of our lives. Right? Yeah.

20:41

Something like that. I'm just workshopping. I don't have anything. This

20:43

is me just in a safe space. This is a safe

20:45

space for me to try things out.

20:48

And now do you think saying if I don't change

20:50

my tampon fast, I will lose half my life? Do

20:52

you think that's a big... is that a big laugh

20:54

for me? No, it actually is true. All the

20:56

women, I'm guaranteeing you right now because people don't

20:58

understand how fast women are able to do it.

21:00

I've watched people in shows, mid-show, that I've been

21:02

with and a woman's out there singing her ass

21:04

off and no one has any idea that it's

21:07

a car wreck down there. And she has to

21:09

run off and she has 45 seconds and she

21:11

can shove that thing

21:13

in. Sorry. And get back out there

21:15

and you think, how in the world do they do that? Well,

21:17

if it took us forever, we'd be doing that for half of

21:19

our lives. I'm not kidding you. Oh, I see what

21:22

you mean. I thought it. I

21:24

honestly thought there

21:26

was some medical

21:28

teacher. I understand. Well, there actually

21:30

still is for you to tell, but again, you

21:32

just can't win. But

21:35

no, what I meant is if we dedicate, if we didn't learn

21:37

how to do that fast, we'd be doing it half our lives.

21:39

All of it through. We really tallied it up as much as

21:42

we sleep. All of this should be in the

21:44

set. Thanks, babe. I'm happy to explain this. What's

21:46

your point? Because it's going to be half men,

21:48

so I will have to explain it. Also I realize I didn't

21:50

make it clear, but again, this is me figuring it out. You

21:52

just gave me this idea. I figured it out. I'm just running

21:54

with it, you know? Doug, how long has it been, by the

21:57

way? 20 minutes. Oh, okay.

22:00

But that's a good time to take a break. Yes,

22:02

it is. We need to stop talking about this. Not

22:04

a good time for a tampon change. If you're taking 20

22:06

minutes to do it, you're losing half your life. That's

22:08

right. We'll be right back with more of the Neighborless and

22:10

When a Neighborless returns. Hey,

22:18

I just simply have to tell you, I'm

22:21

excited about a podcast. Not just this

22:24

one that you're listening to, but

22:27

another one that you can

22:29

and should listen to. The

22:32

title is simply called

22:35

Tiny Dinos. It

22:37

is hosted by Connor Ratliff and James III. They

22:39

play two best friends who are scientists, and it's

22:42

all about a top secret experiment that will change

22:44

the world. But

22:47

as we know it, each

22:50

episode of the show, Tiny Dinos features

22:52

fun guests. Like Jason

22:54

Manzoukas, Adam Conover, an FBI

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agent, an AI assistant, a

22:58

crank doctor named Chris B.

23:01

It's the opposite of sanity. He

23:03

gives madness. You

23:05

also might find a familiar voice

23:07

on there sometime soon. I'm

23:10

not saying it's me. I'm saying that

23:13

the chances are. And just in

23:15

case this show sounds like it could be for kids, fuck

23:18

you, it's not. There's blackmail,

23:20

graphic descriptions of violence, and people say the F

23:22

word like I just did. Not a lot, but

23:24

the F word does come up. Probably

23:27

more than the one time I just did. So

23:30

listen to Tiny Dinos today. It is

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out now wherever you get your podcasts.

23:34

My name is Paul. Goodbye. That's

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24:07

Hey everybody, this is Richard.

24:10

I got a punk LB longboard skateboard

24:13

for $35. It's brand new.

24:15

Still a factory wrap. 40x9.75, take

24:18

tail deck. Look

24:21

man, I just got real high one

24:23

night. I've heard of this thing. I don't know what

24:25

I'm thinking. I'm in my 50s. I got

24:27

a bad knee. I never skateboarded in my

24:29

life. I just got a solid knee. My

24:31

dad never taught me. I didn't have any

24:33

brothers. I just kind of wanted to go

24:36

do some kickflips. But my wife figured it

24:38

out. She was like, what are

24:40

you doing? I don't know. She was making

24:42

a lot of weird noises. I was real

24:44

high. She started yelling. She was like, the

24:46

kids just set a bad example. You

24:49

don't even have an

24:51

elbow badge. I

24:54

don't remember. At

24:56

one point she became like, she had

24:58

like my mom's head with a goat

25:00

body anyway. Someone's going to

25:02

come take this off my hands. I'm

25:05

sleeping on the couch right now.

25:08

Just like anyone, just like DME whatever.

25:10

I got to get back in

25:12

bed man. I got to take up another hobby. Welcome

25:18

back to The Neighborhood Listen. We have a guest

25:20

with us on the show as we always do.

25:22

In case you're not familiar, what we do is

25:24

we scour the neighbor app, the social media networking

25:28

application for neighborhoods. We look for interesting

25:30

people in Dignity Falls. We ask them

25:33

in depth to get more in depth about their

25:35

posts. This week is no different. Also, if you

25:37

happen to see a post on NeighborHaps that perhaps

25:39

we've missed, you think is interesting, you

25:41

can screenshot it to us. You

25:44

can screenshot it, then send it to

25:46

us. I kind of like screenshot it to

25:48

us. You're still learning.

25:50

We're still learning. We're still alive.

25:52

That's what this means. That feels

25:55

right, doesn't it? Screenshot it to us? Yeah, that

25:57

can be a verb. Why couldn't it? Screenshot us.

26:00

like no don't screenshot it's like you're gonna screenshot

26:02

and you're gonna shoot it over to us yeah you just

26:04

sort of combine the two and you screenshot it over to

26:06

us I like it screenshot it to us yeah

26:08

burnt and Joan@gmail.com and this

26:11

week this week here is our post

26:13

that we have that we have right here

26:16

for us today and it's a very short

26:18

one it's a very short one this comes

26:20

from Beatriz and

26:22

Beatriz says free grapefruit please

26:25

bring your own bag that is it

26:27

Wow and we have questions but we're going to

26:29

direct them to Beatriz because this is here right

26:31

now how are you Beatriz yes hello thank you

26:34

so much for having me that's

26:39

kind of you thank you you want to compliment on your

26:41

voice all the time first time really

26:44

it really is luscious

26:48

it's rich and resonant in

26:50

school my my teachers used to say your voice

26:52

is too smooth how is that

26:55

possible really who is saying that you

26:57

think object teacher said that to you who

26:59

said that English whenever I would have to

27:01

read out of the page they would say it's too smooth

27:03

oh that's an English teacher

27:06

probably being like I can't listen to

27:08

that because that's right exactly oh no

27:10

because you think don't stand so close to me okay possibly

27:13

do or teacher choral teacher

27:15

at one point said add the

27:17

little squeak why don't you I

27:19

think these people were jealous that's what they were jealous

27:21

of your tone I've never considered that but I

27:23

appreciate well no problem I do want

27:27

to know is this post

27:29

purposefully short and sweet

27:31

and to the point and without any information

27:33

yes but or or what is there

27:35

any more you'd like to clarify because I'll tell you right now I would

27:38

like to know how many grapefruits I could

27:40

take I would like to know also where

27:42

you live because you didn't mention that I

27:44

assume we could DM you if we want

27:46

that information serious inquiries only but and

27:49

also here's a question that's direct to ask and you

27:51

can answer all the other ones but have

27:54

you done this before have you ever offered offered

27:56

grapefruits to the neighbors before okay

27:58

these are these are all valid question. I

28:00

know there was a lot of them but

28:02

that's the main one. This is why I'm

28:04

here. I'm happy to clear this all up

28:06

because this is a major social justice issue

28:08

that I think has been heavily misunderstood. Oh

28:10

wow I didn't know this. My artistic

28:13

partner and roommate, Grapefruit,

28:15

has been locked away unjustly. Wait,

28:17

what? Now we can go back

28:20

and look at it. We read

28:22

this completely incorrectly. Well I think

28:24

it's understandable. Wait read it again now,

28:26

Burns. With fresh eyes. Now

28:30

here, this might help. Put one fist up in

28:32

the air as you say the first two words.

28:34

Okay, okay, Burns. Free Grapefruit! Please

28:38

bring your own bag. Now

28:41

what does that part mean? Grapefruit is

28:43

a friend, a fellow, a roommate, a fellow

28:45

street artist with me. Okay,

28:51

okay. And Grapefruit had

28:54

an incident with the Dignity Falls PD.

28:56

We were shopping at Ralph's. Okay. And

28:58

are you familiar now with the policy?

29:00

We've had it in town now for

29:02

about three months. They're trying

29:05

to do this thing about saving

29:07

your bags or if you bring your

29:09

own bag. Oh yes, we were the last

29:11

count to do this for a very very long time.

29:13

And Ralph's is a men's clothing store. Yes.

29:16

Ralph's big and tall. One of

29:19

the things that people... Everyone

29:21

knows we don't have the normal grocery stores. We have a

29:23

Trader Joe. We do not have a Trader Joe's. And Ralph's

29:25

is a men's store, yes. Yes. And

29:27

people, a lot of people, it's

29:30

a give and take with this policy because you can,

29:33

you know, just

29:35

go if you bring your own bag but then you're getting like

29:37

a nice suit. They stuff it in a bag. Yes,

29:39

yes. So okay, so you were at

29:41

this store. You were at Ralph's. I was at this

29:43

store. I was with Grapefruit and we had

29:46

just finished buying Grapefruit a new suit. Okay.

29:48

And Grapefruit, Grapefruit's a man of the people.

29:50

so he began packing his own suit in

29:52

the bags that were provided by Ralph. So

29:54

He started, you know, folding his suit and

29:56

took fours, you know, by fours and stuffed

29:58

it into the bag. I which

30:00

point the cashier asks and did

30:02

you bring your own bag? Otherwise

30:04

that bag will cost right? Yes!

30:06

And Grapefruit did not have money

30:09

at this point. Eight fifty dollars.

30:11

That another to be sent home

30:13

or whatever. You

30:15

want to get a mass dispel own

30:17

bags. Yes Grapefruit did not have the

30:20

fifty dollars a day that who does

30:22

and was immediately arrested. He meow immediately

30:24

or else now says was the solution.

30:26

There was no one I will buy

30:29

it then or the suit was already

30:31

in the bag. So the cloud grapefruit

30:33

is that he has already used the

30:35

snatched right? That's right there were year

30:38

and that use the by those who

30:40

the and Rails is a very strict

30:42

policies and where would they consider using

30:44

yeah the merchandise. Yes yeah so Dignity

30:47

Falls but they took grapefruit away from

30:49

he resisted heavily should help them help

30:51

and was a violence. I

30:54

would say mental violence following us I

30:56

was a memorial bridge heavy mental resist

30:58

a real talking down of the officers.

31:01

how can you give an example? Grapefruit

31:03

told the officer i bet you couldn't

31:05

fit in this snazzy suit. Oh wow

31:07

that is a charge. The I to

31:09

charge for the charts. Madison

31:14

and was terrible about them and him

31:16

why he said that's because the Dignity

31:19

Falls Pd is famous for having older

31:21

uniforms or one size too small that

31:23

Israel. And and will not amendment hated us

31:25

the idea was to me what i am that

31:27

know they want six it and the idea was

31:29

to make the the add the the policemen. Get

31:33

more physically sits near by Now they

31:35

went the other way. The real one size

31:37

fits none situation. It's really bad or. End

31:40

their aspirations uniforms they they say young as

31:42

you should do some work out enough to

31:44

fit into this one day and the officer

31:46

resent so much that they actually for a

31:48

more weight. More that

31:51

it out on other people on Citizen

31:53

and and Guess Oil Guess what? We're

31:55

all paying. Pulled out of Syria or

31:57

Iraq right? that's exactly right

31:59

Exactly right. And so here's my question. How

32:01

long ago was this? This

32:04

was three months tomorrow.

32:06

So you were saying three months? You're

32:08

saying that Grapefruit has been incarcerated for three months, but

32:10

I want to know. Usually for something like this, okay,

32:13

you get called downtown, you're put in jail. Someone calls,

32:15

someone bails you out. You mean to tell me there

32:17

was none of this, none of these were options? Bail

32:19

was- He was a lawyer? What's going

32:22

on? Bail was set at $40,000. What? Of

32:24

course this is insane. Grapefruit is in what

32:27

he's described to me in letters as

32:29

a bit of a Andy Griffith holding

32:32

cell situation. So

32:35

it's just the one cell, a little bench, just

32:38

the one cell. It's him and some other goofball

32:40

in there. They're sharing it. Like a drunk guy

32:42

who lets himself come and go. Does

32:44

the goofball change every week? The

32:46

goofball has changed every week. Almost

32:49

in an episodic kind of nature. And

32:52

sometimes the goofball is a little more serious

32:54

than another goofball. He's learned some lessons. Oh

32:56

right. That doesn't sound so bad actually.

32:58

At least he has something to look forward to every

33:00

week. Sometimes you might get a goofball like this guy's

33:02

weirdo, it's funny. And then sometimes you'll get a goofball.

33:04

Oh wow. I feel like I'm learning something from this.

33:06

Yeah, it's a good moment. Yes. Wow.

33:09

And does goofball have- sorry. Does

33:12

Grapefruit, my goodness, does Grapefruit

33:14

have a lawyer? Please say

33:16

he has legal representation. Please say this. Grapefruit

33:18

is currently in line to be represented

33:21

by the public defenders of Dignity Falls.

33:23

Oh no. What I mean is he met the- what

33:25

is this? An organ donor situation? What are you

33:27

talking about? You're supposed to immediately have legal

33:29

representation. But there's hardly

33:31

any public

33:34

defenders in Dignity Falls. It's

33:36

a maximum of five. Which

33:39

I don't get that law at all. It's

33:42

in the town charter, I believe the motivation

33:44

was we don't want this to be such

33:46

a litigious society. A maximum of five public

33:48

defenders. Does that federally kind of fall in

33:50

line? Yeah. This is

33:52

a really tough situation. Well it must- It's an injustice. You can

33:55

see why I made the post. Are you great for this? Yeah, but I

33:57

think that part we understand. The

34:00

is easy. Silva it? Who are you talking

34:02

to? Correct. Yes is a

34:04

bit of advice now although the

34:06

situation that grapefruit landed into war

34:08

and I want the public to

34:11

know how bring your own bag

34:13

you. Know I will say I don't know

34:15

how anyone could maybe and for all about intimacy

34:17

just seems to us from your. Posts that's

34:19

where and that that is best. That's

34:21

a common pretty. The has varied as

34:23

a really good point it over is

34:25

a really good points or again we're

34:27

first on a cruise or you have

34:30

been. A lot of the and asking you oh

34:32

great I say i love grapefruit where can I

34:34

can get it on. Present I think they

34:36

are that you know they come in a

34:38

Bruins like. Abuses you think somehow they

34:40

love grapefruit. meaning they love the street artist

34:42

and and they just want to come with.

34:44

Someone tells me I love grapefruit. Where'd

34:46

you live? I give him my address.

34:49

I say join the resistance so sure

34:51

it doesn't tip the off. V show

34:53

up and they want free food. Guess

34:55

I say are you here to help

34:57

support a grapefruit against the Criminal Justice

34:59

system? Here? Are you here for handouts?

35:01

Okay for them back men I'm sure gets

35:03

confusing. It's very confusing. We also have

35:06

a legal fund are going for group

35:08

who currently under way that we're raising

35:10

money for that as we are actually

35:12

selling oranges which makes us even more

35:14

has come with us. Ah,

35:17

So much money are you raising for

35:20

illegal defenses? Your orange sales weldon be

35:22

orange. The orange sales are a bit

35:24

symbolic. We're we're a warrior. Understanding that

35:26

you know we can't price these orders

35:29

that market price. Caesar Oranges This stands

35:31

for great bruises or for you don't

35:33

like The weren't so worried that we

35:36

price some of the thousand dollars in

35:38

orange it was already oranges. It's not

35:40

about the orange. Our entire boom has

35:43

always. Ask what type of our the

35:45

cc butter artist? He's your friend. What do you do?

35:47

What do you deal in? What do you do? As

35:51

more miss, all the inflections were correct. That's. What

35:55

do I do? I send

35:57

grapefruit her to push the.

36:00

Founder and so of street art Briles

36:02

the what does that look like This

36:04

might have influenced a little bit of

36:06

has a famous stayed and this is

36:08

that as dry as just for for

36:11

the. Ssr old as

36:13

any art for some other other A

36:15

we we did. This may have influenced

36:17

a little bit of the of the

36:19

vagueness of the posts, but we believe

36:21

in accomplishing a lot with few words

36:24

when them with a tight message or

36:26

hey I'm a I believe that this

36:28

has since been cleaned but. I can

36:30

bring up one example from town on

36:32

hey I'm a D that the Net

36:35

the National History Museum that we have

36:37

younger and yes, yes, Grapefruit

36:40

I at one point in the dead of night.

36:42

Ten thirty Pm we managed

36:45

to. Tag the

36:47

end of National History Museum and right. Yeah

36:50

right, You

36:52

are the ones who deserves a when you

36:54

approach the building and says National History Museum

36:56

young rate. Doesn't

36:59

that is understood? It doesn't take any

37:01

letters undercut. If it's if I may

37:03

have ended his daddy's little girl yards

37:05

and eat and around. Husband the average.

37:07

And the mini golf? ah. So

37:11

you're identify your Sunday newspaper.

37:15

Or does not as you were hanging off as

37:17

it as sixty Three as you are reading. all of

37:19

us are other that. They

37:22

should have put a question mark at the end

37:24

of that. Still just as a a racist and

37:26

then I was when I saw it I. Shrugged.

37:29

And was the yes it is. So

37:31

allow read how you hear it in your brain with

37:34

the it. Would like to to

37:36

your mind how how did it fall?

37:38

Natural History Museum Yeah right. No.

37:41

Question Mark Some of it's a mean you wanted to

37:44

be christened right? Like yeah, right it is. is that

37:46

asthma? How you meant it. I

37:49

believe I want to hear I don't I had a

37:52

question mark and Flexible see. What you're seeing? A

37:54

question Mark and how he said it. but

37:56

there wasn't a question. Mark Mcghee I say

37:58

yes or no Years or sister here. for

38:00

the first time. If you were demonstrating the part

38:02

that did not need to be demonstrated, which

38:05

we already knew. I know, sorry, I

38:07

had that wrong. If it

38:09

helps, the graffiti is in italics.

38:12

Does that add inflection information for you? I think

38:15

it does. Yeah, right. National History

38:17

Museum. Oh, now he's all fired up. No,

38:19

that's how I read it. Yeah, right. And this

38:21

is why we do art. Art should create questions.

38:24

Wow. I thought you wanted

38:26

a question mark after it. Why am I confused?

38:28

I do. The

38:31

way I read it, the way it's written,

38:33

seems like it's confirming that it is the

38:35

natural history. Right. So

38:38

he's read it the way it is. Doug has now

38:40

presented it the way he interpreted it. Then

38:42

he's presented it with an italic sort of

38:46

emphasis, but he has yet to deliver

38:48

on how he

38:50

thinks it should be. Oh,

38:53

yeah, right. There we go. I

38:56

think that's all we were asking for. Yeah. Okay.

39:00

Oh, my gosh. So the idea

39:02

of what I was saying just could not

39:04

be processed until I acted it out. Oh,

39:08

I think we made him angry. I think

39:10

it... I'm never angry. Wow,

39:12

that's quite a claim. I'm only shut down.

39:14

I want to get back to our guest Beatrice here. Sorry,

39:16

Beatrice. Sometimes

39:19

this happens and we get off on a tangent. It's

39:23

no problem to me because I believe art should create

39:25

these kinds of conversations. Okay. And

39:27

we do want to be clear. The Academy Falls Naturalist Museum, not

39:30

the museum that we also have a history museum that only goes

39:32

up to the 90s, right? Yes. Yes,

39:34

we have a museum in town that only goes up to

39:36

the... Pre-1989? Yes, it is.

39:38

That's right. We talked to somebody

39:40

who worked there. Yes, we had a guest on. So

39:43

this was different. But

39:45

okay, that is... We have five museums of

39:47

natural history. We

39:52

did go to the wrong one first. Oh, when

39:54

did you go to? We can't do this. We love

39:56

history up to 1989. Oh, that

39:58

was the one you approached for. No qualms. No

40:01

qualms. Absolutely no. Natural history?

40:03

Hmm. Things started here in

40:05

1990. Okay. Yeah, that's right. But

40:07

yeah, there's five natural history museums and there's one

40:10

dinosaur skeleton spread out over the five. It

40:12

is. It's sort of a

40:15

horseshoe shape. These

40:17

five museums, they're all close to each other, right? Because they have

40:19

to be. Oh, you can do them all in a day. You

40:21

can definitely do them all in a day. Yeah. When

40:23

I was a kid, I loved visiting the

40:26

pelvis. Yeah. It's fun. I wish they were

40:28

in a sort of order so that

40:32

you could go through and you would sort of see

40:34

if you ran quickly through all the museums. That's right.

40:37

It's fun because pelvis is obviously

40:40

inside the music part

40:42

of the history museum. Obviously. And

40:44

that's because it's Elvis. Ha ha

40:46

ha. Elvis. Elvis. I

40:48

don't think it needs to be... They thought that was really funny. I don't

40:51

think it needs to be 18 and over to see the pelvis. No. It's

40:54

just... It's titillating, but I think kids

40:56

can handle it. Can

40:59

you give us one more example of something

41:02

that you... So do you always collaborate or was

41:04

that just one collaboration? I don't know how it

41:06

works, you know. Or do you branch off

41:08

and you do your own thing? How does it

41:10

work? I don't want to be too forthright. You know,

41:12

obviously I'm not a fan of the Dignity Falls PD.

41:14

Neither is Grapefruit for obvious reasons. I

41:16

will give one more job

41:19

that we did that I think has

41:21

since been painted over. Okay. I

41:23

see. I'm not trying to out you in any

41:25

way. Sorry about that. Not a problem. I

41:27

haven't decided yet how I feel. And I respect that.

41:30

Oh boy. I do

41:32

remember over

41:35

at the Memorial Bank. It's two streets north of here. Do

41:37

you remember what street that was on? Oh. Oh

41:40

yes. Monroe? Monroe

41:42

and Fig. Monroe and Fig. And it's where

41:44

the bank used to be. Yes. Where the bank used to

41:46

be. And they have the memorial

41:48

to the old bank. There was a memorial to the old bank and

41:50

they have the ATM there. Yeah.

41:53

So at the ATM. Grapefruit

41:57

and I one night. Again 10 30. Okay.

42:00

Always always 1030 when

42:02

when everyone's sound asleep the wishing hour

42:08

The lowest chance of being seen below

42:12

We went ahead and added at the end of ATM

42:16

I Heard

42:21

a question Yeah,

42:27

but I'm still so stuck on the last one

42:29

cuz I'm realizing that the question mark doesn't make any

42:31

sense Why I

42:34

don't want to get into it, but I think you Because

42:37

if you're saying sarcastically, yeah, right,

42:39

I guess there's not a question mark

42:41

on that And this is sort of

42:44

where we arrived on the night as well Our

42:47

original decision not to not

42:49

have a question. Doug you have the mind of

42:51

an artist a little slower Everyone

42:55

really bought it though. Yeah, they did the important

42:57

part is going through that process So

43:02

this was ATM Statement

43:07

you're making there It's

43:09

interesting. We want to take people's

43:12

minds and the natural Cozy

43:14

acceptance that we have of all facets of society

43:16

that we have for granted That

43:21

sounds actually positive put on blast what it's

43:23

all positive it is what we're challenging Yes,

43:31

please I'm single it makes me think it

43:33

challenges me. Oh, I'm thinking cozy acceptance

43:35

sounds wonder Well, there you go

43:40

Two sides of a coin and we hope that

43:42

we would recognize the benefits of

43:44

oh a nice Soft

43:46

warm blanket of society to hold into

43:48

but at the same time every so

43:50

often question it. Yeah thing Oh,

43:53

what is this ATM? Uh-huh. Maybe it's not

43:55

just an ATM Is it the comforting presence

43:57

that we assume it to be exactly? is

44:01

the ATM that blanket that we look

44:03

for every day. Is it the rectangular

44:05

security blanket that spits out dirty paper?

44:08

Is it? Is

44:14

this the only source of joy

44:16

for us and comfort? And

44:19

these monetized people using cash more

44:21

and more and more? AT, mmm,

44:23

hmm. Oh yeah, we definitely get

44:25

it. Yeah, I feel challenged and

44:27

I like it. Well,

44:31

okay, this is great because we've never

44:33

really had, you know, I've seen, obviously,

44:35

now I'm learning, I've seen your work,

44:37

I've seen Grapefruit's work, and I've

44:39

seen other, well, can you

44:41

tell me this? Is there sort of

44:43

like a community, a smart community, and

44:45

is there a hierarchy? Community

44:47

sourcing for, you really

44:50

are stuck on that. Look at it. No, I

44:52

like it now. Ask them in Fargo. I don't

44:54

know where they got it from. It's not mine.

44:56

They made it up. They made it up. They

44:58

made it up. Not me.

45:02

There is a bit of an underground collective. You

45:04

know, it's tough. The more organized you get, the

45:06

more you get on the radar of the DFPD.

45:09

So you try to keep loose networks of

45:11

organization. We tend to work in pairs, which

45:13

is why I've worked with Grapefruit quite a

45:15

bit. Every so often a pair doesn't work

45:18

out. You might break up. You might date

45:20

around for a new pair. Oh, that's kind

45:22

of like how it works? Yes. Yes. In

45:24

a legitimate sense. When did you decide

45:27

to pursue this lifestyle and when

45:29

did that happen? And

45:31

where were you? And

45:35

what do you do? What do you

45:37

do? What do I do? I remember

45:45

it clearly. I remember we were

45:47

at, do

45:50

you remember the building where Mervyn's used to

45:52

be? Oh, yes. I love that

45:54

Mervyn's. Oh, man. I can get so many

45:56

good sales there. Magic shop. Yes. We

46:00

were buying some Husky pants for

46:02

me as I was a child. Okay. I

46:06

was in line and my mother

46:09

presented a coupon. Yeah,

46:11

that was coupon. And the cashier looked at

46:13

the coupon and said, this isn't the right

46:15

brand. And she said, oh, I'm sorry. And

46:17

she flipped through another page and she found

46:20

another coupon and she said, well, this one's

46:22

expired. And I was watching this

46:24

transpire and I was watching my mother's hands

46:26

shake and I was watching the line of

46:28

people behind piling up. It became

46:31

very embarrassing. It became very, very

46:33

troubling that this is what we

46:35

do with ourselves. Husky

46:37

pants for a young child. And

46:40

at that point I realized there has to be

46:43

a way to shake this up. Yes. There

46:45

has to be a way to wake people from their sleep. Let

46:48

them know this isn't all there is. Yeah.

46:51

What are we doing? What are we doing? What

46:53

are we doing? What are we? We

46:56

doing what are we doing? What

47:01

are we doing? You

47:09

know, I have been that mother. I have

47:11

been that mother in line sorting through my

47:13

Mervyn's coupons. I so identify

47:15

with that. That has such a ring of

47:17

authenticity to it. I got to tell you.

47:20

And I understand that. So then what did you

47:22

go out that day and do something? Was it

47:24

something with like the Mervyn's building? Or did you

47:27

or was it that that was just a moment

47:29

of origin but then you didn't start doing

47:31

art. How did it work? Yeah.

47:34

I went home and I started sketching in

47:36

my notebook. I didn't I didn't have the

47:38

courage at that time to to get out

47:40

there as a young as a young kid.

47:42

I didn't know transportation either. I just wear

47:44

my driver's license. Sure. Anything.

47:47

It's hard to reach some of these locations without the skill to, you

47:49

know, it is a fence or a wall. It's

47:54

allowed to lakefront statue

47:57

or any of those things. any

48:00

of the items you wanted to face are frequently beyond

48:02

a child's hand. Yes. It's true. It's sort of... Um,

48:05

but I remember sketching in my notebook. I said,

48:07

I'm gonna draw the Mervins, and I'm gonna draw

48:09

what I would do if I were, um, able

48:11

at this point. Mm. And

48:13

I- I wrote the letters

48:15

out M-E-R-V-Y-N, apostrophe S.

48:17

Yeah. And I- And I- And I-

48:20

And- And- And- And- And- With a-

48:22

With a red- With a red crayon,

48:24

I crossed out that apostrophe in Mervins.

48:26

And I thought, take that, you bastard.

48:30

Just took away the ownership, right like that.

48:32

With the swipe of a crayon. Right like that. What

48:34

if it- What if it wasn't Mervin's

48:38

owned apostrophe that- Yeah. That- That- That- That

48:40

the apostrophe indicates? What if it just- Uh-huh.

48:42

Oh, perhaps it's multiple Mervins. A collection of

48:44

Mervins. A collection of Mervins. Yeah. Right. I

48:47

have made your ownership plural, you bastards. I

48:49

ca- I see. I get it. Do you

48:51

think there's ever in history been two people

48:55

named Mervin in the same room?

48:57

Heh heh heh. I can't imagine that so.

49:00

Well, I- I don't know. I- It's a good

49:02

question. I remember learning about this. Not

49:05

the hype of the Mervin- Of the popularity

49:07

of the name Mervin. Heh heh heh. He

49:09

was a- There may have been five in

49:12

the world. I do remember the theoretical physics

49:14

experiment about this too. Oh! Right. There are

49:16

two Mervins in the same box. Yeah, but

49:18

if you observe it- If you observe it,

49:21

it becomes one Mervin. Yeah, but it does.

49:23

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh,

49:26

well, you know, I do think that's very, uh, in- How old

49:28

were you when you did this? That was

49:30

hype. I was so incapable

49:33

of doing anything. I must have been 16, 17. Oh!

49:36

Oh dear. Wow! Wait, you didn't have

49:38

your driver license at 16? No, heaven's- How come?

49:40

Heaven's, no. I wouldn't- Too husky? I wouldn't think

49:42

it was heaven's- Oh, burnt. Well, I-

49:45

I wouldn't- I tried to solve the total. That would have

49:47

been no bearing on whether or not you're able to get

49:49

your driver's license. If it was too husky, you might not

49:51

be able to fit behind the wheel. Oh, come on now.

49:53

You might have less confidence driving, um- Well, I

49:55

understand the less confidence thing. I wish

49:58

that wasn't true. Well, I- I- I

50:00

personally always had a problem with the authority

50:02

of the driver's test. Mmm. You know, that

50:04

was a hard thing for me. How

50:07

do you think it should go? I think

50:09

they should sit there and observe you driving for

50:11

20 minutes however you'd like to drive. Oh,

50:13

really? And then just kind of say,

50:15

yeah, you did pretty good. As opposed to this turn

50:17

left here, park there, turn there. You don't think that

50:20

would just lead to chaos, accidents. I mean, people

50:22

do have to stop and start. There has to

50:24

be a give and take when you're driving, otherwise,

50:26

you know, really dangerous. But

50:29

you know, they're making it work in India. You see

50:31

those YouTube videos of just those

50:33

intersections where it's just, everything

50:35

goes. Yeah. Like

50:37

schools of fish. Oh, boy.

50:41

I can't speak for that. But I can,

50:43

do I want to know what it reminds you

50:45

of, Maeve? This reminds me of Bert's nitro-burning funny

50:47

car. Oh, yes. I used to

50:49

have a nitro-burning funny car. Oh, congrats. You may have

50:52

seen it around town, but I've definitely heard it. Yes.

50:55

Oh, of course you heard it. Oh, for sure. You

50:57

can't make things. Taking corners was just too hard.

50:59

That's why I gave it up after a while.

51:02

I don't know anything about a different country and

51:04

how they're driving. I know that here in Digne

51:06

Falls, we really need to, we

51:09

have such traffic issues, we have congestion, we have people

51:11

who drive too fast. We didn't have stopping and starting

51:13

and turning left and turning right, not doing whatever you

51:15

want to. It would be very dangerous. But what

51:17

do you say to that? It would be. And

51:20

I believe that we, the people, should be the ones

51:22

that dictate how much we want the foot of the

51:24

man on our necks. Well, no, this is what's interesting.

51:27

And this is something I wanted to bring up earlier, is

51:29

that the slogan for

51:32

free grapefruit is bring your own

51:34

bag. Please bring your own bag.

51:36

Oh, that's important. But doesn't that put it sort

51:38

of sets us against one another as opposed

51:41

to saying the policy of

51:44

at Ralph's. Oh, yeah. That's

51:48

what's wrong. It's almost like you should say burn your bags.

51:51

Yes. Right? What

51:53

about that? Burn your bags as a step

51:55

down the line. You know, about we we

51:57

we try to. about

52:00

that. What about that? What about

52:02

that? What about that? Next

52:04

one. Sorry, you were saying. This

52:06

is important to approach it for many different lenses. You said it's down the line.

52:10

You said that's just coming in too hard to

52:12

say that first. So first you say comply and

52:14

then you're going to say go against

52:16

it. I am going to say first

52:19

there should be self accountability. First you

52:21

must equip yourself. You should CYA as

52:23

the parlance goes. Cover your ass.

52:27

Cover your ass. Cover your ass. And

52:30

at some point when we are... I

52:33

don't know what that means babe.

52:36

Doug just turned around and proved it. This

52:38

is better. We were metaphorically speaking. Doug came

52:40

in for the room. Doug walked in, fired

52:42

up by the statement, walked into the room,

52:44

turned around and it is

52:46

and then walked back out. And I haven't seen

52:48

those jammies with the little buttons on the back

52:50

for a long time. Doug loves those jammies. And

52:53

he does call them jammies. He does his

52:55

best work in them. So that's why I guess he

52:57

is building the miniature golf course in those. Okay,

53:00

so you're saying start out... Great for construction.

53:03

You're saying start out by CYA

53:06

and then what? In the hopes that... I

53:08

mean what? Do you want people to show

53:10

up to Ralph and follow

53:12

the rules but only to

53:14

a certain point or up until... It

53:16

does seem like you're adding a step

53:18

to the resistance that doesn't need to be...

53:21

Maybe. The compliance step? Yeah, I

53:23

would say that's the one. Yeah,

53:25

yeah, yeah. Interesting. Right.

53:29

First go by the rules. First do the rules. Then...

53:32

Do the rules that we hate. Yes. It's

53:34

an interesting approach. I will

53:36

consider it. But isn't there something to that about actually

53:39

admitting to that? Isn't there something

53:41

to that? Well,

53:44

I... Submitting to the rules as a way

53:46

to experience them and show, yes. Oh, almost

53:48

like a reverse psychology like... We can do

53:50

this. Right. But then you'll see

53:52

that you hate it and then... But I

53:54

would argue that's what's already happening and... So

53:58

now we're at the step one. where we go against

54:00

those rules. And it's all on course, isn't it?

54:03

Oh, well. You got me there. Gosh, got you

54:05

there. He got you there. The mind of an

54:07

artist. He's one step ahead. That's right. Yeah,

54:10

you. I would say one step on track. One

54:13

step on the same track that we've been

54:15

on. And

54:17

tomorrow, one step ahead. Whoa,

54:20

that sounds, now

54:22

that sounds back to sort of like an

54:24

overlord type situation of almost a big brother.

54:26

When you say tomorrow, one step ahead, does make

54:28

it seem like you're not doing anything right now.

54:32

Do not remember all of the graffiti that I did. I

54:34

do, no, I do. Okay. I

54:36

do. Are you planning on doing a piece of art

54:38

having to do with grapefruit? Cause you haven't mentioned that

54:40

yet. And again, I don't want to sort of like

54:43

out you, but. And we'll let again, just be writing

54:45

words on something. Oh. We've

54:53

commissioned a mural. Wow. Okay.

54:55

So this is a, this is

54:57

also a more conforming step, right?

55:00

Unless, unless I'm not understanding. It's a crowdsource.

55:02

You are the artist, but you're

55:04

commissioning a mural. It's a crowdsource

55:07

mural. We've already sold, we sold

55:10

two oranges. So we have two thousand,

55:12

excuse me, two, two oranges. Yes. Wow.

55:15

We sold two oranges. We had a couple of people show

55:17

up who said, yeah, I'd love some grapefruit. And I said,

55:19

what, what the hell are you talking about? Explain the situation.

55:22

Here are the oranges. We're raising for grapefruit. And

55:26

we sold two of them. So we have $2,000, which

55:28

is enough for us to crowdsource a mural. And

55:30

that mural will help build more awareness for the

55:33

issue of free grape. Can you give us a

55:35

hint as to what the mural is going to be? Yes. Okay.

55:38

It sounds like you do not even a hint. I think I'm going to get it. Okay. What

55:41

we've commissioned. What you commissioned. That's right.

55:43

So someone else will be doing. So yes, another artist

55:46

and you never have much control over there. You

55:48

know, you can commission it and then they're kind of going to do their own thing. I'm

55:50

not sure if I should wait to hear what it's going to be first

55:52

before I ask why would he choose to commission it? What do you think?

55:56

I want to know who the artist is going to be. Do you know who the artist

55:58

is going to be? Okay. It's

56:00

gonna be a banana Malone Okay,

56:03

is that Doug you know who that is Sounded

56:05

like he did sound very real.

56:07

Oh of recognition. Absolutely. I love

56:10

banana Malone stuff Like

56:18

he has um, he does great

56:20

dice art So

56:25

nothing to do with bananas though, no

56:30

Bananas our cat sure never

56:33

I mean just never again what again? Sorry,

56:37

we have a cat a yellow cat very yellow cat named

56:39

bananas We keep losing sight of but I guess we're gonna

56:41

keep seeing her. I saw her in a window She was

56:43

eating a chicken bone. Oh my goodness. You're kidding. Yeah So

56:46

wait a minute. So you're going to bone.

56:49

So you're she ate the bone At

56:53

first I thought she was a California condor This

56:56

is sort of in reference to a post last in our last

56:58

episode Yeah anyways

57:03

So bananas Malone is doing it bananas. Are

57:05

they local? Yes. Okay. And what

57:07

is the mirror going to be? It's

57:10

going to be it will incorporate dice as

57:12

Doug mentioned Of

57:18

course when Doug said dice art we

57:20

all have a concept of what that

57:22

is immediately Yes classic, but but bananas

57:24

dice art isn't that cliche dice art

57:26

that we're all Taking

57:30

up the dice clean this late in my brain. Okay, go

57:35

The dice on bananas dice I

57:37

said the banana involves a dyson There's

57:43

a dyson air blade in the corner What

57:48

is that evoke it looks frustration hygiene

57:50

frustration Yeah, thank you. Thank you Frustration

57:54

irritation things not working things not working

57:56

moving my hands back and forth because

57:58

society's told me to do Right

58:02

and at the end is anyone clean?

58:04

Mmm. Okay. That's in the quarter. Okay,

58:07

that's These

58:11

banana dice They

58:13

aren't like normal dice. Like I said, they're

58:15

not the cliche dice that you're used to

58:17

in dice art These dice don't feature numbers.

58:19

Oh They feature

58:21

letters Oh Interesting

58:24

like a category die Sometimes

58:27

you see I know one

58:29

where you see the dice coming at

58:31

you like guys rolling the dice Right.

58:33

Yes, and then on the dice of

58:35

a number says surprise Surprised

58:44

And I think you could hear how that was

58:46

said We're

58:56

talking about right Die

59:00

with letters, but is it saying anything or

59:02

no this one? It's it's a bit

59:04

political in nature, of course It's

59:08

also a call to action. So if you

59:11

weren't familiar there is an

59:14

organization that we're hoping to get great for once he's out

59:16

to be in charge of this is the students

59:19

against Law

59:23

enforcement Right students students

59:25

in law enforcement. This is as they say

59:29

Yeah, and so we're having these

59:31

I say grapefruit for say Should

59:43

we give him here it does he I don't think

59:45

he does You know

59:47

like he does is there audio? No, no, no Think

59:50

that you're coming into the same thing's

59:52

gonna happen. Yeah. Yeah people are going

59:54

to think you're selling grapefruits the food

59:59

Well because I'm just

1:00:01

gonna say for me personally,

1:00:03

if I see the letters

1:00:05

S-A-L-E together, I'm not familiar with

1:00:07

students against law enforcement. I am more familiar.

1:00:10

We've only just learned of it. My suspicion is

1:00:12

that will be the case of many people.

1:00:14

You think that if people see a series

1:00:16

of four letters, they're gonna assume... I mean,

1:00:18

if I see D-F-P-D,

1:00:21

I don't think this is some word... D-F-P-D?

1:00:23

I assume it's D-F-P-D. Because

1:00:26

there is no word D-F-P-D. You

1:00:29

wouldn't have the opportunity to have

1:00:31

that confusion. But there is a

1:00:33

word S-A-L-E. If I may... But

1:00:37

it's spelled wrong. Or garage

1:00:39

sale house for... I would argue

1:00:41

that it's one of the most recognizable... Two

1:00:44

actual pedestrians, people on the street. The word

1:00:46

S-A-L-E is meant to be attention grabbing for

1:00:48

a reason. Exactly. Because this is what powers the boat. No,

1:00:51

no, that's a different... No,

1:00:53

that's a different S-A-L-E. You mentioned garage

1:00:56

sale. Mr. Rutherford's garage that he put

1:00:58

the sale up on. Well, that's one

1:01:00

of them. Yes, Mr. Rutherford's garage sale.

1:01:03

Which was, I know... Helps move his garage a

1:01:05

couple inches over. It

1:01:07

wasn't worth it. It honestly wasn't

1:01:09

worth it. And he still got ads in the paper. And

1:01:13

I'm just worried that you're gonna run into the

1:01:16

same problem as people showing up at your house

1:01:18

wanting grapefruit. They are going

1:01:20

to... Again, they're gonna have

1:01:22

so many questions because if it's just a

1:01:24

sign... And the Dyson in the corner is

1:01:26

gonna definitely throw them off. Yeah, I don't know.

1:01:28

What does the Dyson in the corner represent? The

1:01:30

Airblade? Oh yeah, we talked about frustration. Well,

1:01:34

you're gonna get them there. They're gonna get frustration

1:01:36

already, okay? Oh, it's almost a

1:01:38

sort of callback. When they show up, they

1:01:40

want to buy grapefruits. They

1:01:42

will be frustrated because they've misinterpreted this... If

1:01:46

I may say, very poorly, where does it

1:01:48

go? Not to their fault. It's not their fault they misinterpreted it.

1:01:51

No, they will be frustrated. They

1:01:53

will take much offense to this because this is, again,

1:01:55

we only commissioned the mural. Banana Malab. Good

1:01:58

point, but... Maybe he'll do it in... the way

1:02:00

that why did you decide to commission it why did

1:02:02

you want to do it yourself for your best friend

1:02:04

why didn't you want to do it yourself why

1:02:07

didn't you want to why

1:02:10

didn't I want

1:02:12

to it's

1:02:15

it's so difficult to make

1:02:17

art about someone that

1:02:20

you're so close to and worry about

1:02:22

lovely actually I get that that's deep I get

1:02:24

that I

1:02:26

feel so invested and if I do it wrong he

1:02:28

could be in there for another 30 days

1:02:31

with a series of characters I think

1:02:33

you are about to do it

1:02:38

wrong with the

1:02:40

mural you already have on my hands you are I

1:02:43

would love to hear any pitch that

1:02:45

you have that would be more powerful

1:02:47

than what banana has already come up

1:02:49

with how about any

1:02:53

illustration of grapefruit himself okay person

1:02:56

famously unattractive man so it didn't matter

1:02:58

that for a mere what for a

1:03:01

mural okay

1:03:05

you can say my friend grapefruit yes

1:03:07

was a brilliant artist is being held

1:03:09

in an unjust way he's being held that

1:03:12

sounds nice to me it sounds like oh okay

1:03:15

it's interesting you could pull calls in our argument

1:03:17

but you don't see the problem with the word sale cozy

1:03:19

acceptance is negative being held is possible

1:03:21

he's being held continue

1:03:23

sorry in jail he

1:03:25

is incarcerated if you

1:03:28

show it like a picture of

1:03:30

him behind bars and then the

1:03:32

word injustice under the injustice I

1:03:35

love burn your bags no more

1:03:37

bags we're we're collaborating and I

1:03:39

love boy caught Ralph art should be

1:03:41

our conversation I would say boycott Ralph's

1:03:43

is a little bit more doable with

1:03:45

the number of guys okay

1:03:49

are you are you locked I got

1:03:51

held up for a second there I

1:03:53

couldn't remember what the floral of dice

1:03:55

was this time and

1:03:57

are you locked into bananas is

1:04:00

There's no way you can change at this point.

1:04:02

Did he sign a contract of some kind? He

1:04:05

he has received most of the funding.

1:04:07

Oh, okay Commission

1:04:09

yeah, it's Commission. Okay, and

1:04:11

if you started work yet, I Believe

1:04:14

he's doing sketches on the air blade currently right

1:04:16

now. He's in the research phase And

1:04:21

he's in a restroom and he has a sketch pad there

1:04:23

that's what he's doing that's right I think we

1:04:25

also tried to make him plural of it. This is

1:04:28

an urban situation I think you don't want your banana

1:04:30

banana. I want to keep saying bananas foster

1:04:32

because that also sounds like a name I

1:04:36

would say delicious dessert. I've

1:04:38

never had it Foster

1:04:40

is it what is it? I don't know

1:04:43

why it's I don't know what the foster part is Maybe

1:04:45

that was the name of the chef But all I know

1:04:47

is it's the original thing where the the

1:04:49

there's why did the word chef hang you up ice

1:04:52

cream chef? Are

1:04:57

you making foster freeze? Is

1:05:04

the prepared by a chef Is there flame involved

1:05:06

with the banana yes That

1:05:21

is half that's honestly most of the dry was

1:05:23

the original Yes,

1:05:26

you bring it up. It

1:05:28

was a little bit of alcohol and everyone gets

1:05:30

excited. Yes, sure Gordon

1:05:34

Caramelizes that who was that one Gordon? Flumb a

1:05:36

lot of our local youth hockey team. Oh Yes,

1:05:42

and they did famously have a dessert after

1:05:44

him yes, which was orange

1:05:58

Both I used soccer coach

1:06:01

before he went to the hockey. This

1:06:03

was what he did superstitiously before every game. You

1:06:05

would have to eat a fish. Because they were frozen

1:06:08

and they were playing nice. Yes, he ate

1:06:10

them frozen for the superstition. The

1:06:12

noise of it was disgusting. The

1:06:14

hockey superstition. There's something orange,

1:06:16

something fried, something iced. It

1:06:21

all died. All

1:06:24

right, so I would say allowing banana

1:06:26

to complete this, if you're still just

1:06:28

in the planning stages, let

1:06:30

him have his money. It's the sunk cost fallacy. Do

1:06:33

this mural yourself. Sunk cost fallacy. I

1:06:36

know this. Well, good for you,

1:06:38

Doug. Well, the sunk cost fallacy, and

1:06:40

correct me if I'm wrong, it's, well,

1:06:42

we've already spent money on this. We

1:06:45

might as well keep going. Are you saying sunk

1:06:47

cost? Yes, what did it sound like? It's sunk cost. I

1:06:50

just wasn't sure. The sunk cost. The sunk cost fallacy

1:06:52

is different. Oh my God. That's funny.

1:06:55

Oh my God. That's

1:06:58

famously when NASA was thinking, what if we

1:07:00

just bought the sunk? Yes. Then

1:07:03

we'd have control of it. We'd have control. And we wouldn't need to

1:07:05

go to the moon. Oh, and that was declassified. It was wild. What

1:07:08

a wild story. Those guys were embarrassing. You

1:07:10

were so embarrassing. I can't believe they almost

1:07:12

fell for the guy offering to sell the

1:07:14

sunk. What if we just bought it? We

1:07:16

wouldn't have to. He left town before they

1:07:18

could catch him. His

1:07:22

songs were so good, too. His songs were so good.

1:07:27

So what I do think we're saying is if we can sort of,

1:07:29

I mean, we could go on and you're right.

1:07:32

Ours should be a conversation. But I'm not sure

1:07:34

justice, you know, I'm not sure there's, that seems

1:07:36

black and white. You know, that guy is in

1:07:38

there. That's a conversation that should be quick. We

1:07:41

need him out of there. We need action. So

1:07:44

I don't think you want to muddy the message

1:07:47

with an acronym that means something totally

1:07:49

different that people do not know. People

1:07:51

misinterpret. I would

1:07:53

take any of the suggestions. I think Boycott Rounds

1:07:55

is a great one. And

1:07:57

again, I don't want to infringe upon your attention. integrity

1:08:00

what babe what's matter I'm

1:08:03

sorry for interrupting no you're not there

1:08:06

is a boycott Ralph's store that just

1:08:08

sells cots for boys that's true that's

1:08:10

true it was a it was a

1:08:13

very successful camping line that

1:08:15

the cost of the real winners and

1:08:18

and just selling these cots but they

1:08:20

had a hard time getting people in at first yeah they did

1:08:23

read those signs and it's a different Ralph and

1:08:26

you want your children in a cot that's the

1:08:28

right size for them absolutely do I'm not gonna

1:08:30

include everyone why does it have to be just

1:08:32

for boys right yeah okay well now

1:08:34

maybe I understand why that's not what you went

1:08:36

with first but I do think that having the

1:08:39

word sale that right there I think

1:08:41

the word sale has to go I think

1:08:43

you need a a literal representation of

1:08:45

your friend grapefruit I agree I mean

1:08:47

in this day and age why not have

1:08:49

make a video you know have a make

1:08:51

a video introducing who okay

1:08:53

but I'm thinking that is writing things I

1:08:57

understand that but I they haven't gotten

1:08:59

anywhere doing that you know and I'm

1:09:01

thinking maybe you need to I would

1:09:03

source other ways of getting the word out if we

1:09:05

want to keep using that phrase if

1:09:09

you if you involve people artists

1:09:11

to work in other mediums for

1:09:13

yeah exactly yes what types of

1:09:15

mediums um you know I'm trying

1:09:17

to think of the other artists that are out in the

1:09:19

collective and it's a lot of finger painting it's a lot

1:09:21

of them what

1:09:24

is it tie-dye okay yeah or I don't

1:09:26

know of any other artists in our community

1:09:28

that are quite as the rice oh I

1:09:30

think he meant like content creators maybe

1:09:32

you know online yeah you know anyone who

1:09:34

has a phone in their camera a

1:09:36

camera in their phone any phone I wish I really

1:09:40

you really shouldn't have said that cuz it's gonna just

1:09:42

been about in there if you know

1:09:44

anyone yes I mean you have a phone

1:09:46

right here on Instagram you're

1:09:53

on tiktok you're on these things or maybe not I have

1:09:55

a camera and I also allows me to dial people Well

1:10:01

then it sounds like you have what you need. My

1:10:05

camera allows me to screenshot

1:10:07

someone. That's good. That's good.

1:10:10

So maybe you can, and perhaps people, some street

1:10:12

artists maybe use it to screenshot their own art,

1:10:14

you know? So that's one way of getting the

1:10:16

word out. So I think... I like these ideas

1:10:19

and I feel that we're currently building community, which

1:10:21

was, you know, the point of my original post

1:10:23

was you don't want to spoon feed the entire

1:10:25

thing. I'm not going to write some four page.

1:10:28

Here's my address. Here's what the legal charges

1:10:30

are. Here's how we're trying to get him

1:10:33

out. You put a seed in someone's brain.

1:10:36

And that's seed sprouts. I don't know what kind

1:10:38

of font you're using, but I don't think that's

1:10:40

been four pages. Four pages. It

1:10:42

doesn't. And honestly, people even currently in the

1:10:44

world right now have gotten such fast results

1:10:46

with a simple hashtag and just about something

1:10:49

that needs to be done, something in a

1:10:51

justice that's happening. And boy oh

1:10:53

boy, millions of people are showing up for it. You

1:10:55

know what I mean? And they did it without the

1:10:57

word sale. They did it without the word sale. Sir

1:11:00

Burns, that's one example. I mean that wasn't... Not the one

1:11:02

I was thinking of. It's not

1:11:05

the one I was thinking of. I'm not just under

1:11:07

endorsement. It was just the first successful hashtag that I

1:11:09

thought of. Okay. I was thinking

1:11:11

of some other ones. But... And

1:11:13

that was of course to prevent

1:11:15

the steel mill from coming into town.

1:11:17

That's right. Yes. We

1:11:19

don't want it. We don't want it. We don't have

1:11:21

one. We just want it. So I would

1:11:23

just go back to the drawing board as it

1:11:26

were as an artist. And

1:11:28

maybe Steve Grapefruit is... Sorry.

1:11:31

No, I'm not going to jump on drawing board at all. I

1:11:33

just may need to sell some

1:11:35

more oranges. So I would put this out to

1:11:38

your audience if anybody wants to buy some more

1:11:40

oranges. Or we could just make it clear and

1:11:42

say you could just donate money. You don't even have to have an orange.

1:11:44

You know. Is that a deal breaker? Oh,

1:11:47

does it happen? Do they have to go to get an

1:11:49

orange physically? I

1:11:52

feel that it's a bit of a handout. If

1:11:54

somebody just hands me cash. But if I can

1:11:56

be contributing to the community by giving fruit and

1:11:58

you give me a thousand dollars... for Orin.

1:12:00

Sure, that's definitely not a handout. I'd

1:12:03

be happy to accept money. I understand

1:12:07

the symbolic nature of it and I

1:12:09

mean to respect that. So, okay. So, yeah,

1:12:11

let's just eliminate the word sale. Okay. Let's

1:12:14

talk to Grapefruit, see if he has any

1:12:16

ideas, see if he is open to making

1:12:18

a video, letting the world know who

1:12:20

he is, letting people in on it, anything

1:12:22

to just do with the touch of a button on a phone camera.

1:12:25

And how is he doing? Have you seen him

1:12:27

lately? Good question. I visited him a couple weeks

1:12:29

ago and we were honestly, we tried to catch

1:12:31

up and we were just giggling so much at

1:12:34

that hiccuping drunk next to him. Oh, because it was a

1:12:36

fun one. It was a fun one that was. Okay, it was

1:12:38

a fun one. Well, Beatrice,

1:12:42

we thank you so much for

1:12:44

being here and we do wish all the

1:12:46

best to your friend Grapefruit and your efforts

1:12:48

to free him. And we can say

1:12:51

with context, free Grapefruit. Hashtag free

1:12:53

Grapefruit. That's a good start right there. Although again, we want to

1:12:55

make sure

1:12:59

that it's a person. And so if you have the

1:13:01

hashtag free grapefruit, the person, there you

1:13:03

go. Hashtag free grape for the person. And listen, if

1:13:06

you, I urge

1:13:08

all of you out there, whether you're in

1:13:10

dignity falls, whether you live somewhere else, I

1:13:12

want you to on social media, contact

1:13:15

your local law enforcement. There you go.

1:13:17

And just, just a simple message hashtag

1:13:19

free grapefruit. That's right. Yeah. Wherever you

1:13:22

live. There you go. The police always

1:13:24

have an account somewhere just

1:13:26

to spam that account with hashtag free grapefruit.

1:13:29

I think that's, that's perfectly said. That's basically

1:13:31

the whole deal. You know, so I would

1:13:33

even say tell them hashtag free grapefruit. It's

1:13:36

a, it's a good deal. Well,

1:13:39

oh boy. We were so close. Yeah, we were

1:13:41

so close. Um, just

1:13:43

thank you so much for being here. Thank you

1:13:45

so much for having me stop the steel hashtag

1:13:47

free grapefruit. Bring your own bag. We will return

1:13:50

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1:15:12

I hear Steven. I'm still in a

1:15:15

wilderness pungo 120. Sorry,

1:15:18

I got it because it's such a funny name. Wife

1:15:20

hates it. I actually don't even know what it is. I got

1:15:23

it because it's called a wilderness pungo 120. And

1:15:25

I have no idea what this thing does. Maybe it's

1:15:27

a kayak pungo 120, two sets of paddles, car roof

1:15:30

rack. None of this makes sense

1:15:32

to me and it really makes less sense to my wife because

1:15:34

she wants me to get rid of it. I was going to charge you

1:15:36

$400. Oh, that's my kid. Hang on, hang on, kid.

1:15:38

Hang on for a second. I'm all I got to do for

1:15:40

tomorrow. No, babe. I'm doing it. I'm getting

1:15:42

out of the house. Do it. Really

1:15:44

sell it. Really sell it to her. Come get

1:15:51

the pungo. Welcome back to The Neighborhood Listen and boy

1:15:53

oh boy. It's

1:15:55

hard when you know I genuinely liked him. He was

1:15:57

a likable guy. You know we got a good cause

1:16:01

gorgeous voice and

1:16:03

then it's just frustrating when you feel like you can't

1:16:05

get through to someone you know after

1:16:07

all that talking. Yes and I also

1:16:09

wonder what how

1:16:14

why has grapefruit been kept in that

1:16:16

stuff for such a long time. I mean obviously you should have

1:16:18

been... I don't even buy the $40,000.

1:16:21

Someone would have that should have

1:16:24

been solved a long time ago. Absolutely.

1:16:26

So it does think to... what's that?

1:16:28

Doug just

1:16:30

had an

1:16:33

idea? Just

1:16:36

had a great idea. What's up

1:16:38

Doug? I was

1:16:40

thinking everyone gets a golf cart.

1:16:42

A garage for the

1:16:44

golf cart. Everyone gets a golf cart

1:16:49

and a golf cart every garage. Okay

1:17:00

that's enough ideas for now

1:17:02

babe. Another idea. Alright third

1:17:04

time's a charm. Wow.

1:17:10

Oh boy. Doug give us your final

1:17:12

great idea. Thank god I'm a little

1:17:14

silly. Great idea. You're putting while driving

1:17:17

the golf cart for at least one

1:17:19

hole. Oh that sounds like something that

1:17:21

guy you went to drunk. By the

1:17:23

way I completely forgot about the manager

1:17:25

golf. Oh you were wondering where this

1:17:27

is coming from. Like in town. Oh.

1:17:31

Like Oprah. Like everyone's guaranteed a

1:17:33

golf cart. Well there should be

1:17:35

a right. Well there are a

1:17:37

lot of golf carts. There are

1:17:39

people who would agree with you. Golf

1:17:41

carts. That

1:17:44

is of course a cult devoted to golf. It's

1:17:47

what? A cult devoted to golf fields. Absolutely. I'm

1:17:50

having trouble talking now. Well those were

1:17:52

great ideas babe. Great ideas Doug. And

1:17:54

thank you for indicating them with the

1:17:56

idea found. I

1:18:00

do feel like the golf carts are going to cause

1:18:02

problems in the home. Yes, definitely. Well that's

1:18:05

why we get a garage for the golf cart. So you're

1:18:07

saying you need to add an extra garage on our house

1:18:09

for this mini golf course? For the

1:18:11

golf carts. Yes, I understand. But then

1:18:13

they'll drive the golf carts inside? Oh

1:18:15

my goodness. Yeah, like a golf,

1:18:17

like a round of golf. Do you have the space

1:18:20

for that? No, we don't have the space

1:18:22

for a second sizzler. Are you kidding? No, we don't

1:18:24

have the space for this. Okay, I don't

1:18:26

know how you... Pretty small golf carts. It's

1:18:29

a mini golf course. It's a mini golf course. I know,

1:18:31

but it's not. It's not mini, mini. What am I

1:18:33

saying wrong? Golf cart. It's a golf cart. What do

1:18:35

you mean? It's a small golf cart. All right, this

1:18:38

is so much silly. Golf

1:18:44

cart. Let's get to our last post.

1:18:46

How about it? Yes, how about

1:18:48

it? Because this one's a real quick one and it's a real

1:18:50

head scratcher. Ready? Go on, will you

1:18:52

scratch my head? This comes from Vera. No

1:18:55

punctuation except a period at the end. I'm

1:18:58

searching for a plumber. What is water hammer? What

1:19:01

is water hammer? Correct. What is water

1:19:03

hammer? Which almost sounds like one of Beatrice's

1:19:07

pieces of art. What is water hammer? What

1:19:10

is water hammer? What is water hammer? Am I right? But

1:19:13

what is water hammer? Did someone

1:19:15

tell her, oh man, that's

1:19:17

not going to work out. You're going to have to

1:19:19

get a water hammer in here. And is she thinking

1:19:21

that means she needs a plumber? And is plumber, is

1:19:25

water hammer a fun colloquial

1:19:28

phrase that people use for a

1:19:30

plumber, a water hammer? But

1:19:33

she's asking what is it? She is without any

1:19:35

punctuation but a period. Is it sort of a

1:19:37

Jeopardy style she's saying? This

1:19:40

tool was used, it just says, I'm searching

1:19:42

for a plumber. What is water hammer? There's

1:19:46

no punctuation and there's no question mark. Plumber,

1:19:49

what? I'm searching for

1:19:51

a plumber. What is water hammer? Now

1:19:53

that, first of all, speaking of gnarlin, sorry, that was a loud noise. I put

1:19:56

my phone down on the bench. On

1:19:58

the wicker. On the wicker. He's

1:20:01

he's he's on the wicker.

1:20:03

Oh, I see. I forgot. I forgot

1:20:05

already. Wow. It was only a week

1:20:07

ago, Burns. I know. What's happening

1:20:09

to my memory? Waterhammer.

1:20:12

Still haven't discovered what the movie was

1:20:14

that we promised three episodes ago. Sorry. Oh,

1:20:17

no. Sorry, everyone. Sorry, everyone.

1:20:19

But I wonder if Waterhammer. By the

1:20:21

way, I think Doug is just saying Waterhammer to himself

1:20:23

over and over and over again. What

1:20:25

is it? It's just reminding me of

1:20:27

something. It's like Rosebud. It's a reminder

1:20:30

of Waterburger? Waterburger, maybe. Waterburger? Waterburger. Okay.

1:20:32

It's a chain in Texas. It's like, no. It's

1:20:35

a waterburger. Is Waterhammer perhaps

1:20:37

a condition that you call

1:20:39

a plumber for? Like.

1:20:42

Did you say is Waterburger what you call a plumber

1:20:44

for? I hope not. No. Okay.

1:20:47

Then I heard it in my head. I didn't mean

1:20:49

to. And I hope that's not right. Okay, that's what

1:20:51

I wondered. Is Waterhammer? Like, oh, no, you have Waterhammer. You

1:20:53

have to call a plumber. That could also be it.

1:20:56

Yes. Yes. I've

1:20:58

been diagnosed with Waterhammer and I need a

1:21:00

plumber. A doctor is not useful

1:21:02

in this situation. No, no, it's Waterhammer. So no one's

1:21:04

heard of it. No one's heard of it here? No. No.

1:21:08

That's wild to me. No. Should

1:21:10

we look it up? But they're asking what it is. They're

1:21:12

definitely asking what it is. And we don't know. I'm

1:21:15

saying either someone told her she

1:21:17

has a case of Waterhammer or

1:21:19

she needs a Waterhammer. Yes. She

1:21:22

could also be saying, what is water? And

1:21:24

then sign off at hammer. No,

1:21:26

let me take that back. She

1:21:29

came out wrong. And me need to ask

1:21:31

MC Hammer. Yeah. Another

1:21:33

way of addressing MC Hammer in the vein of please

1:21:35

don't hurt him. Waterhammer. Please don't

1:21:37

hurt him. Hammer, please don't hurt

1:21:40

him. What is Waterhammer? Waterhammer. Hammer,

1:21:43

can God make a rock so big

1:21:45

even he can't lift it? I'm

1:21:48

putting in the phrase Waterhammer

1:21:51

and we're going to see what comes up. And

1:21:54

I hope it's not something dirty. Oh

1:21:57

no, like Lemon Party? Not looking

1:21:59

that up. So

1:22:01

water hammer, okay, see this is what I

1:22:03

thought, it's a tool. It is a tool.

1:22:05

It's when, oh, nope, it occurs when a

1:22:08

valve is closed quickly or pumped up down

1:22:10

and causes the water pressure to rise and

1:22:12

fall rapidly. It sounds like someone hammering on

1:22:14

a pipe. It can cause

1:22:17

damage. So it... Joan,

1:22:21

there's something about you looking over the

1:22:23

top of your sunglasses and saying emphatically

1:22:26

to me, it can cause damage. Oh,

1:22:29

I wish everyone could have seen that image

1:22:31

in their brain as I was seeing it.

1:22:36

Is it where now? I can't see you two, but

1:22:38

is it where the glasses are on the very tip

1:22:40

of her nose? The very tip, very tip.

1:22:42

Like an old woman in a

1:22:44

library helping the hero discover something

1:22:46

on a microbeech. It is like a little

1:22:48

kid pretending to be an old person. That's

1:22:51

exactly it. Oh, my

1:22:53

word. Well I was very surprised

1:22:55

it sounds serious. She does need a plumber. She

1:22:57

does need a plumber. So it is a

1:22:59

condition that happens. What's interesting though is if you

1:23:01

go to any sort of, well I'm thinking of

1:23:03

New York City of course, but any place where

1:23:06

you have radiators, it just sounds like

1:23:08

someone is banging a pipe and someone will just say,

1:23:10

ah, it's just a radiator, it's the heat. But

1:23:12

maybe every time it's a problem and it's water hammer,

1:23:14

I don't know. Science is such

1:23:17

a strange thing. In a way it is tennis elbow

1:23:19

of the plumber world. How

1:23:21

is air making this noise? I don't

1:23:24

understand it. It's so puzzling. But in

1:23:26

this case it's air pressure or it's water pressure is what

1:23:28

they are saying. Well the thing is they

1:23:30

don't actually have water hammer. They

1:23:32

need a plumber to answer the question, what is water

1:23:34

hammer? That's how it's worded to me.

1:23:38

Yes, but she is asking because someone clearly told

1:23:40

her you've got water hammer and now she knows

1:23:43

she needs a plumber. And she's tired. And

1:23:46

you know what? She also has

1:23:48

her glasses like this. She absolutely

1:23:50

has. Her name is Claire and she's

1:23:52

like, I've got to get a plumber. What

1:23:54

is water hammer? Does anyone know what water

1:23:56

hammer is? I don't have water

1:23:58

hammer. I don't. Sure, I can't afford

1:24:00

it. And my husband died five years ago.

1:24:03

I don't know what I'm going to do about this water am

1:24:07

or he doesn't leave me anything about water am or the will. I

1:24:12

wish people could have seen Claire's final take to camera,

1:24:16

but this isn't audio media. But

1:24:19

don't be Cain Claire. I did. Thank

1:24:21

you. But here's how it reads to me. I always try

1:24:23

to become the white plate. Here's how it reads to me. It's

1:24:26

somebody that is so tired of this noise

1:24:28

and they get online and they say, this

1:24:31

life can anybody recommend a plumber? What is

1:24:33

water hammer? Yes, there's

1:24:35

no time for punctuation. No time

1:24:37

put out. Yes, she just needs the information.

1:24:39

I heard water hammer and now I need

1:24:41

a plumber. Honestly life is so hard. This

1:24:44

just sucks. And this is the last thing I

1:24:46

need. And she's not the last thing I need.

1:24:49

Yeah, and what is water

1:24:51

hammer? That's exactly what she's

1:24:53

saying. And that's exactly what I think. Also water hammer

1:24:55

is a great last name for Claire. Claire

1:24:58

water hammer? Possibly.

1:25:00

I mean, then that opens up a whole new can

1:25:02

of worms. Water hammer sounds so poetic. And

1:25:04

then when you hear what it is, it

1:25:07

sounds dumb. Well, it also sounds

1:25:09

expensive like an expensive problem. Oh, if you're

1:25:11

calling a plumber, it's expensive. Full stop. Highway

1:25:15

robbery. So it's the sound. It's

1:25:18

a word for a sound. You know what? I

1:25:20

renamed her. It actually was a post by someone

1:25:22

named Vera. And of course, she's named Vera. I

1:25:24

named her Claire. And I forgot that actually

1:25:26

her name is Vera water hammer. Vera water hammer. I

1:25:28

got to remember that the next time I wanted to

1:25:30

do a night of characters. Absolutely. Yeah. Also

1:25:33

good name for fake review of

1:25:35

your show. If

1:25:37

you want to write a fake review saying I loved it.

1:25:39

Oh, right. I thought you were saying

1:25:41

that the headline would be water hammer.

1:25:45

Somehow would be a diss. Yes,

1:25:49

you're right. By Vera water hammer. Yes, if I

1:25:51

wanted to write myself a good, yeah, for

1:25:53

sure. Oh, yeah. Wonderful

1:25:55

dot dot dot show. Vera

1:25:58

water hammer. I

1:26:01

laughed dot dot dot. Anyone

1:26:03

else have the Fanta commercial

1:26:07

jingle in their heads? Water water hammer.

1:26:10

Oh you can almost get a

1:26:12

tooth comb going. I

1:26:14

think we've found we're stretching your vocal cords

1:26:16

a little bit. Very

1:26:18

exciting. He's on Vennice. Barbara

1:26:21

Ann. And Fanta. Oh

1:26:27

well Vera we wish you luck. We hope you

1:26:29

get your water hammer fix. Yes absolutely. And if

1:26:31

anyone else is suffering from water hammer we go. Consult

1:26:34

your doctor. Well

1:26:37

that's it for this episode of The Neighborhood

1:26:39

Listen and we just want to tell you

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other citizens of Dignity Falls. True. But

1:27:01

it's a way for you to get to know

1:27:04

our neighborhood better. But also sometimes we watch

1:27:06

movies. Oh we do. We have fun. We've

1:27:08

done Superman. We

1:27:11

are thinking of doing a couple other ones. That's right.

1:27:13

The craft has come up. The craft has

1:27:16

come up. And Indiana Jones and the Last

1:27:18

Crusade has come up. Yeah boy two very different

1:27:20

movies. We should just do them both. We should maybe

1:27:22

get four more. Watch them all in one day. Alright

1:27:26

thank you for listening to The Neighborhood Listen.

1:27:28

We'll be back next week and until then

1:27:31

goodbye. And goodbye. All

1:27:35

of the posts used in this episode were

1:27:37

real. Only Hindi-gropical specifics have been changed. The

1:27:39

Neighborhood Listen is hosted and produced by me,

1:27:41

Paul F. Tompkins. And me, Nicole Parker. And

1:27:44

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